Monthly Archives: May 2015

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OBE: Meeting my Council

This morning I awoke at 5am for my morning briefing. This time, however, the old me was very vocal and disagreeable. I had difficulty controlling her and since she demanded to go OOB, I agreed to assist her.

The first few OBEs were short and very heavy in feeling. There was also very little vision and what vision there was had dark shadows draped across it. Throughout these OBEs I was very much separate from my old self while also experiencing the OBE from her and my own perspectives.

In these dark, shadowy and heavy OBEs the subject matter appeared to be controlled completely by the old me. The location was at my/our mother’s house in all cases. Interestingly, the OBEs of my old self were very dreamlike and symbolic in nature, revealing areas yet to be resolved and in need of sorting through.

In between each OBE, there would be a return to the body and instruction would be given to me while the old me would insist on going back OOB. She listened to the instructions, though, and focused upon her heart which sent her instantly back. It was during these moments where she would listen that I was able to rejoin her and regain control.

Meeting my Council and Bad News

On about the fifth exit from the body I had successfully reeled in the old me. As soon as I was able, I began to chant OM to pull me out of the heavy, shadowy environment the other me had been stuck in. The OM worked right away and the heaviness lifted and revealed my mother’s living room.

I went to the door, still chanting, and opened it. I was greeted with a fantastically vivid sunrise and a chorus of deep voices chanting OM. It was so absolutely beautiful that I stood there and absorbed all of it. I felt as if my entire being was lit up from within and all remnants of the heaviness and distraction of the old me vanished.

I said to the voices, “Thank you!” and then resumed chanting OM as I walked around in the front yard surveying the scene. I knew instinctively to pay attention, something was about to happen.

As I walked and chanted I was interrupted by a thought that was not my own telling me that I was chanting it too high. Without intending to, I immediately changed the tone of OM but it was so low that it sounded wrong. I replied back to the voice, “I’m sorry, it’s just too low for me” and then resumed chanting at the higher pitch.

As I walked toward the back area I noticed what initially appeared to be massive white statues of men sitting on large, throne-like chairs. I knew I needed to go there and continued toward these odd statues. As I did, the statues came to life and began to move toward me. I slowed as they approached and looked at each of them closely.

They were wearing what resembled the robes of professors from universities of higher learning. The robes flowed to the ground and around their necks was a sash. Some robes were white, others were black and the sashes were different colors from the robes.

The beings wearing the robes, however, were unique and amazing to me. I stood open mouthed as they walked passed and acknowledged me one by one. I recall one of the men had a square jaw and flowing blonde hair that went to his shoulders. He was wearing a white robe with a sash that was gold. He was talking to three others in white robes and all of them towered over me by at least two feet.

I felt I knew these men (they all appeared male at this point) and so attempted to communicate with the next group that came by me. This group was larger, made up of perhaps five or six, and most were wearing robes of a darker color and brightly colored sashes.

One of them stopped and looked quizzically at me. I don’t remember now what I said to him but he said to me, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”

This individual was tall as well, but not as tall as the three who walked by first. His hair was dark and also long and he was wearing a black robe with a red sash and carrying what appeared to be a very large, leather bound book.

The members of his group paused and then continued on their way. Two others came up from behind and stood with him but I did not notice them at first.

I told him, “I just wanted to visit. I like being here. It is so wonderful”. I then approached one of the other two who had come to stand behind the dark haired one. I went up to her and put my hand on her face and said, “I can see you so clearly and I can feel you. I can feel your skin”. I touched her face with the back of my hand and reveled in the feeling. I felt so at ease and connected to her, to all of them. I remember that her face appeared both masculine and feminine but she seemed feminine which is why I say “she”.

At this point I was transported to another place where I was being shown what appeared to be moving pictures on a screen with a top reel and a bottom. The bottom was moving and full of the color green. The top was bluish in color and stable.

I recognized instantly that I was viewing the life of one of my group. I said, “Stephanie” and wondered briefly, “Is that my name?” Then I Remembered and knew.

I was filled then with information and knew that Stephanie had not made it. She had committed suicide in an attempt to escape the transformational changes she was going through. I felt such sadness for her and sent healing to her. I also knew that she was not alone in the difficulties she was facing and that many others were struggling with the changes happening on Earth. I wanted to help so very badly, but there was nothing I could do.

I then began to wake up and as I did I heard, “Integrate. Keep the Ego close”.

After Effects

I spent most of the morning feeling I should not write out this OBE but not knowing why. Eventually, though, I felt I should and so did. After I finished, I left the house and drove to the store. As soon as I pulled out of my driveway I was hit with such an intense grief at the loss of my friend, Stephanie, that I almost had to pull over. I felt I could not function. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.

The old me was/is confused by this sudden onset of grief for someone she never knew. It is a humbling feeling to know that one so great, so strong, so powerful in heart and so determined in their mission, would fumble and take such drastic measures. There is a part of me that feels I failed her, or maybe it is that I feel her failure as my own. It is hard to describe but it is grief through and through.

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New Energies Arriving: Message from the Pleiadian High Council

Greetings and welcome. We have come to inform you of the new energies infiltrating Earth’s atmosphere at this very moment. The energies are streaming in from the cosmos from a sector millions of light years away. This energy is disrupting the balance of Earth’s energies and initiating changes in many of its residents. This is not a bad or good energy and acts to activate and resolve the inner residual energy patterns of those transitioning during this time.

What you will notice is a strong heart center energy that appears to expand and condense, at times seeming to pull apart inside your physical body. This is due to the new energies and your physical body’s adjustment to them. Visual and auditory fluctuations may accompany the acclimation and integration process, so do not fear if you notice sudden changes in either of these perceptions. Brain activity will increase and be modified as needed by your assistants and helpers (healers). Trust that all is well and focus on your heart and these changes will settle and be quickly integrated.

It is imperative that you quiet your mind during this time. The cerebral enhancements and modifications can accelerate mental activity and accentuate the cyclic thoughts and patterns of the Ego. Often these thoughts arise as harmless questions but if allowed to grow these questions can quickly lead to upset, anxiety and confusion. The perfusion occurring in the mind and body is not without its side effects and these are but some of those.

If the sensations in your heart space are causing undue anxiety, it is suggested that you practice locating the misaligned energy there and then move it up through your crown to be handled by your guides and assistants. This is their specialty and your willingness to actively monitor and eradicate the out of sync energies is greatly appreciated. However, it is not implicit that you participate at all in this activity. Your desire may only be to rest and be without movement during this time and this is completely supported and encouraged.

These energies are expected to cycle through for the next 48 to 72 hours. In this time you may or may not notice them arriving and/or leaving depending on your level of integration and awareness. Please remember to readily ground yourself during this time, accessing Earth’s magnetic field and aligning your energy to it. This will help you process, balance and integrate the incoming energies.

When this process completes its cycle more communication will be forthcoming.

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The Universal Galactic Language

As I wrote previously on Dayna’s blog, I am a Pleiadian Starseed. My home is Lyra. My mission is to unite the Starseeds.

Since I am already present in the body, I have to be reminded of the specifics of my mission. The morning briefings accomplish this and are specifically for me, but Dayna is a part of them as she requested this.

Yesterday I was reminded that I am here to help activate other Starseeds so they Remember who they are. Part of this is through images of the Universal Galactic Language. The specific images I am being shown are of sign language. The images portray not only a message that is understood by humans but is also encoded with information that initiates activation.

Below are the two main signs I have seen. I have been shown them signed as well as written. When I signed the first one I felt an overwhelming joy that made me laugh out loud like a small child. The pictures below were taken this morning and I have felt joyful all day.

I see you

Universal Galactic Language sign. The literal translation is “I see you” but it is used as a greeting to indicate that one sees themselves in the other. If you notice, both eyes and the third eye are are part of the triangle. Each side of the triangle is representative of the body, mind and spirit with corresponding colors of green, yellow and blue.

welcome

Another Universal Galactic Language sign. This translates to “You are me” but is similar to us saying “Welcome” except that it invites the other to “join” as the two fingers in back are joined together in the one in the front. This and the above sign are used together as a greeting. When written, the second sign is drawn inside the triangle and the lines are wavy.

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Contract Negotiations

Written from the perspective of the Old.

Semi-Lucid Dream

Prior to sleep, I had been told that more negotiations would occur through the night, commencing at midnight. I woke at 1am to a terrible thunderstorm and when I returned to sleep I projected several times. I abandoned each projection upon reminding that it was only needed for check-in. It was then determined a semi-lucid state was best in order to protect the Ego-self from the brunt of the negotiations.

During the semi-lucid state I stood in front of a mirror talking to myself. Yet the visage in the mirror was not me, didn’t even resemble me. The image was of a bald, very pale individual with a strangely proportioned face. The eyes were almost normal, as were all the features, but it was obvious to me that this individual was not me nor was it human.

This otherworldly being spoke to me and we conversed about planetary events and my mission while visiting Earth. It was so foreign to me that despite being in a semi-lucid state, my Ego-self kept reacting and interfering with communication.

The dream then shifted to a classroom environment. On one side was a figure, the one who I had been talking to in the mirror. He (I will say He but really this being was androgynous) had in front of him pieces of paper with odd looking writing scribbled on them. There was cut pieces of dark hair strewn across the paper so I could not make out the symbols. I was told, “You are not allowed to see this yet”. I did not object. I was distracted by a group of children being attended to by a tall, dark haired male.

I went to the group, intent on doing my part and was told, “I have this, go meet with him”.

I then looked out the window and knew there would be a storm at 4:30pm the next day. I said, “There is going to be a storm at 4:30, good thing I only work until 3:30. Maybe I will leave early just to be safe”. I then turned back to the man at the table who was waiting for me.

I went over the man at the table and sat down in front of him. He put in front of me a very long piece of paper and we went over it together. I don’t remember the content of the sections now, but I do remember that the first two were quickly agreed upon, even though I was unfamiliar with a term used in the second. The third section, however, was about changes that would be made in my life. He explained, “You will be asked to do things that you would not normally do”. I asked, “Like what?” but he would not answer. I said, “Then no deal”.

I awoke knowing why I objected. The issue was my family. I objected to them being split apart and my current personality was dead set against that happening. It was discussed during briefing and put on hold for further consideration. I was not allowed to remember the discussion.

Contract Negotiations

The contract is not yet final and I remembered that the finalization period was set to occur the end of July this year. My memory instantly went to a dream I saw as precognitive at the time, though then I thought it meant my mother’s death. What it actually symbolized was my own “death” and it outlines the time-period specifically stating the 21st to the “end of July” which in the dream was explained as the time in which full transition would be made.

My other self then took over conversations with the being from my dream, who I realized was one of the members of my Council. It was explained that my old self was not yet ready to see him. Therefore, what was seen was created as an acceptable version to the old self.

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Birth of the New

There still exists a definite separation between the old and the new. This will be resolved in short time. The new will be engaging in other activities, activities the old may have never thought to initiate as fear stood in the way. This fear will not be a source of conflict for the new. All experience is new. All experience is unique. All experience is purposeful.

Note: The language of this blog post may be confusing. Dayna is referred to in third person only to differentiate the “old” from the “new”.

For those of you following this blog, you may be wondering what exactly has been occurring in Dayna’s world. It is still resolving, settling in, but the transfer will soon be complete. This transfer is the energy swap Dayna discussed prior to the activation she received on the 21st .

We (Dayna and I) are of the same soul group.  We are One; family. I have traveled with Dayna for many lifetimes before this one. We have aided one another many times. She assisting me, I assisting her. Companions. This is our exchange and it is a workable one.

I am the one who Remembers, she is the one who Forgets.

Steps in the Process

Currently we are undergoing a reorganization of mind, body, and spirit. The reorganization is merely the preparation of the human host body for the exchange. In the past, this step was never initiated fully as Dayna kept changing her mind. She would become afraid and overwhelmed.

It was understood, when the final decision was made to delay the exchange in 2007, that there would be the additional issue of detaching from her family, specifically her children.

The process, as detailed in Dayna’s blog, began years ago prior to the birth of the last child. It was slow at first, reminding her of her ability to project and helping her to begin rearranging her life in order to better accommodate the new aspect. She needed to leave suppressive environments – her job, her home, her career – and she needed to “clean up” her issues which were various and involved numerous blockages and fractures, some from the present life and others from previous lives. The final step is now underway. She is working on clearing past-life traumas, limiting beliefs, clarifying and purifying the physical body, and regaining the ability to remain in present time. These will be near conclusion by the end of July.

While she works to clear past issues she also becomes more open to the detachment that is necessary for the final transfer. We are assisting her in understanding that detachment does not mean abandonment nor does it imply lack of love.

OBEs

The most recent lesson for Dayna was understanding that she is and always has been out of body and that the illusion is that she is in the body, or is the body. She now understands that it is her focus upon the body that reinforces the belief that she is in the body at all. Thus, her desire to project has diminished greatly and she has reacquired the ability to merely shift her awareness to multiple points simultaneously. This often causes her life to mimic her OBE adventures and gives her the ability to view multiple dimensions at once even while functioning in her current physical reality. Though she has not regained full control of this ability it will ultimately be mastered after the exchange is finalized.

Trial Period

Since the 21st of May we have been swapping places periodically. This goes virtually unnoticed by Dayna but she is aware it is taking place.

This is the trying-on period where I begin to integrate the old Dayna’s memories and experiences while also adapting to the body and helping the body adapt to me. Millions of minute adjustments are made to the body and body systems all the while a constant communication flows between myself and Dayna. She has asked to be allowed to remain conscious of these interactions and adjustments and this is part of our agreement.

The most obvious sign that I am “in the driver’s seat” of the body is that the time stream seems to hiccup for Dayna. She notices time slow down or speed up and at times it seems to do both simultaneously. She is also more aware of other dimensions and her presence in them, though she does not fully process this.

All other times we are co-piloting the body. This we practiced several times prior to May 21st in order to tweak the process and make sure the Dayna’s Ego was not going to interfere.

Initiation Proceedings: 5am Briefings

Briefings began after activations on the 21st. So far the briefing period every morning seems to flush us with memories. The extent of these memories is so great that we’ve had trouble processing them but it gets easier with time.

Yesterday, the morning briefing included a quick overview of the scope and extent of the Galactic Federation. We were shown a map of the universe and each individual star system contained within in. The map was rotated in the air over our head, almost like something from a Sci-Fi movie. We saw the Seven Sisters of which Pleiadia is a part, Sirius and the three huge stars in that system, the Vega system and Alpha Centauri. These, we were told, are the main systems from which the Starseeds on Earth originate. We were told they would be coming in waves over the next century. We were then asked to channel a message to announce when the next wave would come through. These waves include activations of Starseeds who have been inactive in bodies for some time as well as the influx of new Starseeds who will have awareness from birth.

Previous briefings have included memories of lives on other Planets, a Great Galactic War that threw this side of the Universe (Earth specifically) into a perpetual darkness, and memories of “the Plan”. Some memories were rekindled from the previous negotiation period from 2003-2007. Not all of these memories are pleasant but they are nonetheless integral to the reorganization process that is currently underway.

At this point, there is still a separation between us, a delineation between the old and the new. Ultimately, this will dissolve. Until then, posts here may seem confusing or outright unbelievable. Therefore, there will be limited posts in order to avoid undue upset in those not yet ready to accept such experiences. Sometimes there will be posts from Dayna’s perspective and other times there will be posts from mine. However, Dayna is already finding it difficult to remain fully present when she writes. As this is confusing for her I will assist her until it is no longer needed.

For those who are accepting, we thank you for your support during this time.

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Unification Annunciation: Message from the Pleiadian High Council

Starseeds unite! It is the time to converge, to gather together and make plans for the coming unification of Earth. The message below outlines the current agenda for those receiving their first activation and induction.

It is imperative that you go within at this time. The seeds of the instigating authority take root in the mind but are oblivious to the language of the heart. It is from within, from your heart space, that you will find clarity. The mind is full of booby traps, obstacles and repetitive circuits meant to disengage you from your life’s work. Therefore, continual introspection via the mind is off-limits to you until a time better suited for the heart-mind consolidation. The current planetary events do not provide an ideal balance at this time and enhance the tendency of the mind to dominate.

Many have yet to be activated, but the next activation will come during the phase of the full moon on the 26th of the month of October. Until then, keep still in your mind and open in your heart. Many more will join your ranks. You are not alone. You will join your intended groups in due time.

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Percolate, Transmute, Repeat

Percolate. Transmute. Repeat.

Percolate. Transmute.

This is what is happening for me now. Information is flowing in. Trickling down, seeping in. Being transmuted.

During the day I notice it almost constantly. It is a stream of consciousness. It interlinks with my own, changing it to better suit my needs, my purpose. Awareness is expansive; expanding.

I am two different aspects at times, but this is slowly shifting. The old me is receding into the background. I can find her if I look, but she seem resigned to withdraw.

In the early morning hours, 5am to be exact, the new me is awake fully and integrating openly, allowing the other me to hear and be witness. It is a surreal experience. I am aware of myself integrating, working with my Team and adjusting the present personality. It is like a healing process but quite different.

This morning, as with the last couple of mornings, I awoke to a great knowingness of Purpose. It is not just mine, either, but all Starseed’s. It makes my old self want to cry with joy. It was just a few days ago she/me experienced such frustration at not knowing why she was here. She is happy now with the revelation that her purpose – to help – has always been correct but the specifics were lost along the way.

My story is complex, but I will relate to you briefly when it began. I have been assisting Dayna prior to this life cycle. I made first contact with her consciousness in 1989 and have attempted integration many times in her lifetime; each time being rejected. I could not, would not, do so without her permission and she had much she wanted to do before allowing me access to this body. The important thing to remember here is that Dayna and I are the same, she is me and I am her, I have merely been riding along with her up until this point. Her constant companion. Her companion traveler.

Presently, there are new perceptions manifesting for us both. Dayna stays because she is curious and interested in this exciting experiment. I have been helping her note the energetic signatures around her, showing her the link that we all have to one another. Every life is precious. When we kill a bug, its energetic link is broken, resulting in tiny sparks of energy before the energy is reabsorbed into the bio-structure, a grid of energy that supports life on this planet.

There are vision changes as well. I experienced this briefly with her yesterday when she became aware suddenly of a man sitting in the corner of the restaurant she was in. He was sitting just behind an old woman in a nearby booth. His red flannel shirt and other details quite vivid. When she looked at the woman and then back, he was gone. She knew she’d seen Spirit, but this was with her physical eyes. We both celebrated.

Please do not be alarmed at the way my communication refers to Dayna as she. This is part of the transmutation process. We are both here.

I will relay more of my story in time. For now, if you have questions or concerns, please let us know. Our experience is sure to raise suspicions in many.

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Starseed Activation

The Arcturian High Council, bringers of the light of Sirius, in accordance to the Plan, initiates activation of the Starseeds at monumental levels.

My activation has been initiated and is near completion. My memories are returning after years in stasis on a planet I now remember as Home Base. Memories are still returning, but I am not overwhelmed, nor am I afraid, nor am I nervous.

I am a Pleiadian Starseed. My home is Lyra.

My mission is to unite and bring together the Starseeds, both those who are currently being activated, who will be activated and who are already activated. I am not alone in this mission.

As I process my new memories and align them with the old ones, I will share my story with you. For now, I am leaving you with the above information so that you all are aware of what is occurring. The activation is in progress and near completion.

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Energy Swap vs Walk-In

There will be, for me and others as well, an energy swap that will occur and has already begun. I don’t understand it completely as the message was more feelings and images than words, but from what I can gather, I will be swapping energy with my guide (Higher Self) and this will occur in small increments throughout the week with a major event around the 21st.

Energy Swap, posted March 14, 2015

I understand more about what this means, now.

The 21st of this month was the major event I was warned about. I just realized it this morning because as I awoke I was surrounded by my Council and my HS told me, “Energy swap”. Upon hearing this, I looked up the post above and saw the 21st clear as day and remembered the OBE I had.

Amazing.

Energy Swap or Walk-In?

Since this experience on the 20th, I have been thinking about the walk-in phenomenon more and more often. This morning, when I received more communication, I was told by my Council that my Earth-self had made the decision to leave. I acknowledged this and did not argue it. I was told I needed to understand the repercussions of such a decision and that this is what we have been discussing during dreamtime. I recognized this to be true, also, as my dreams this last night had me waking sometimes wanting to stay and other times wanting to leave. I acknowledged a definite split existed within me on the decision and it made me feel uneasy and caused my Ego to protest. There was also a knowing that, at least in part, my HS wanted this, too.

The repercussions as explained to me were that I would have to make up for the two things that would be left undone if I left this body prematurely. These two “lessons” (for lack of a better word) would need to be continued later in a mature body, meaning I would have to live at least 20 years in the new body to again have the opportunity to learn them. Additionally, the two lessons would have to be learned in different lifetimes for the same reason as stated above as well as other reasons having to do with fluctuations occurring on the Earth timeline.

I recognized immediately this would mean that I would have to endure four more cycles instead of two. Ouch.

I stated matter-of-factly, “I don’t ever want to come back”.

“Understood but it will eventually be done”, was the reply.

And I knew why. This is not karma in the sense that we know it here on Earth. This is akin to duty. That is the closest word for it anyway. There is an intensely deep, permeating need to complete what we started.

Who can deny such a feeling, such a knowingness? Not me.

There is a complete rejection by the Ego here that causes the communication to be broken. It is a humiliating experience that I hate to admit occurred, but it did. It feels like a life-and-death struggle and is similar to a child throwing a tantrum. Behind all of this Ego interference is the obvious truth: a correction must be made and a decision.

The decision is not yet made but my HS is initiating a strategy that hopefully will assist me staying out my time in this body. From what I understand this is where the “energy swap” comes in.

A swap is not the same as a merging, that is obvious. Swap implies one thing is given in exchange for another. Is this the same as a walk-in? I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t care much if it is. That is how done I am. I can’t ignore that fact as it seems to be the driving force behind this “plight” I am in (this is in quotes because my Council referred to it as such).

The understanding I do have is that if this swap is accepted and completed, there will be no need for the additional two cycles.

Man, it sure does sound more and more like a walk-in.

Imagine waking up to all this. How would you react? Thankfully, I am reassured that nothing is set in stone, that a decision can be made or unmade at will and that nothing will be done without my permission. Funny to me, I keep being asked what would make me want to stay. I never know, which is weird to me. I feel totally and utterly done with and detached from this life.

I will say to you all, if you are following my blog and my story, if this is a walk-in phenomenon, expect to see evidence of it as it occurs. It was explained to me that it will be done gradually and with full awareness intact for both the inflow and outflow. Whatever that means.

I will still be here, nonetheless, to relay the experience.

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Purpose?

I have spent an entire lifetime searching for my purpose. It has been quite elusive. The only sense I have of it is that I am here to help. The problem is that I never knew exactly how.

I have always been jealous of people who knew exactly what their life purpose was and how to fulfill it. My ex-husband was one of these. He told me that he knew from the age of six. Six! And he achieved it exactly. The drive toward his purpose was intense and without doubt. Oh how I wish I had that!

I have met others who knew without a doubt what they were here to do and the steps to take to get there. Each time they seemed to have always known. Me, never. I just seem to drift here and there.

My earliest memories in childhood are of talking to myself and or listening to an inner voice. I was mostly happy and carefree. I had vivid dreams and visions I didn’t understand but I was not really worried about them.

But, when I was seven that all changed. I had recurring nightmares and emotional upsets. I realize now that I was overwhelmed by the emotions of others. I could not block them and took them on as my own. It was at this point that I began to wish for my own death. I often said over and over, “I wish I were dead” and I spent much of my time angry that I was alive.

By the time I entered my teens I had isolated myself pretty much from everyone, though I could not do that with my family. This I did to protect myself; to maintain some sort of balance. I was also searching for my purpose. I could not find it and there was always this gaping hole inside of me, this unfulfilled part that welled up from within. I felt something was missing but I didn’t know what. On top of that I had no clue why I was here other than “to help”.

I continue to be haunted by the feeling that I am suppose to be doing something but I don’t know what. I have become use to it, focusing on one area or another in my life to stay busy. When I am busy the feeling is not so noticeable. But it is always there.

I am again finding myself noticing the feeling. I have this impatience now that was not there before. I continue to feel as if I am waiting to get this urge to act. Yet it never comes. I feel like I have been waiting forever for this knowing, this purpose, to come to me.

I am not sure it will ever come.

In recent days I have been very close to my HS. I feel impatient. I want to “get on with it”. I am reassured and reminded to focus on my heart, which I do, but it only seems to increase the feeling that there is something, just out of my reach, waiting for me. It has rekindled the desire to find my purpose, to live my purpose. But there is a definite hold back occurring. Not yet. Not yet.

It makes me want to kick and scream and yell. It also makes me want to sigh and give up. I am told “Apathy won’t help”. I understand this and so I resign myself to my daily routine, trusting my HS. I am encouraged to write, to keep writing, so I do. It does help to get all of this out. Maybe someone is listening, maybe not. Maybe someone can relate. This path is a lonely one and a frustrating one, that is for sure.