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Pluto Direct

Pluto went direct right as a cold front came in. I crashed and slept hard.

I woke up around 6am with my root chakra very intensely pulling. I wondered briefly about it and then my second chakra started to light up. I heard my guide say, “Dec 21”. I asked, “Why does everything happen in December?” (Dec 2014 = intense heart opening).

I returned to sleep and fell into an interesting dream.

Dream

I was riding a motorcycle (individual path) down a familiar road. I realized that I should have turned left back behind me, so I turned around (course correction). I remember feeling like I was wearing something heavy and my feet not being on the foot pedals and worrying I would not be able to brake in time. I then remembered the brake was on the handlebars. I slowed and stopped with some others on motorcycles. I wondered if we would all ride together in a little pack, like in formation. The others began to move, turning right (intuition, the feminine). I followed.

When I arrived at the destination it resembled a large theater with row after row of hundreds of seats. The others began to sit down, so I did, too. This is when I got a glimpse of myself and the others. We looked almost skeletal with very pale or white skin. We were very tall, at least 7ft, and had longer arms than what would be proportional to our height. Our hands were similarly long and very boney in appearance. I struggle to remember what our faces looked like. The human me wants to say they looked like skulls but I do not believe this is accurate. When I try to recall the faces I saw now, they look completely devoid of any defining characteristics. They are just overly large, oval shaped solid white heads without eyes, ears, mouth or nose.

This is when it gets interesting. From where I was seated I began to travel through time. The first place I went took me to others similar to the skeletal people I was with. When I came into the body it was on the ground facing up and another Being was looking down at me. He said to me, “We knew you were coming.” Then others came up from all around with long, narrow, spear-like things in their hands. They did not look happy to see me. As they began their assault I could see myself from above and watched as I began to murmur some words I cannot recall now. These words pulled me out of that body and back to my place of origin.

I went out again, this time coming into a body at the theater only I was sitting in the very back next to a man who was very obviously human. He turned and smiled at me. He seemed small to me but then I realized I must also be small. I looked down at myself and saw both the skeletal white body and a human one. It was like I was both but then the human man did not seem afraid so I concluded my body looked human. Remembering I came from a seat up at the front I realized I was not wearing any shoes. I began looking for my shoes. I asked the man if he had seen them and he pointed at my feet. I saw some female shoes, white and slender like flats. I put them on and sat there a while. A movie was playing on the screen. I think it was a musical. It seemed enjoyable so I watched with the others for a while. Then I told the man I needed to return to my seat where I had left my other shoes, some much more comfortable than the ones I had in my hands (I never put them on).

I went to the front and sat next to others like myself. My shoes were where I left them. I could see both their skeletal form and human form, the latter being more solid. The movie scene mixes here with what was going on in the seats around me so it gets confusing. It comes out in the dream like the movie actors/actresses are both on screen and off. Those off screen got up and began to form a line and then a circle. I joined them. We were dancing together and I did not know the foot placement. No worries, I was told, follow along with me. A women in front of me showed me and though clumsy, I was able to keep pace. The woman in her skeletal overlay had on jewelry and was adorned with wreaths of flowers around her neck. So were all the others. I concluded I was wearing the same.

The whole time I felt heavy with the suit of armor or whatever my other body consisted of. I was too big for the human body and quite awkward in it.

When it finished, I went back to my seat, the one in the front, to retrieve my other shoes. They were tennis shoes and I remembered them vividly in my mind. When I went to my seat another person was occupying it. In fact, the whole row was full of women, all who looked solidly human. I inquired about my seat and began to head towards it and the woman pointed to another row. I saw an entirely empty row closer to the screen. Confused, I followed their instructions thinking maybe I had been wrong about where my original seat was located.

When I woke my body was alive with energy, especially my second and third chakras. I wondered about the dream and then remembered that Pluto had gone direct, likely overnight while I was sleeping. Could that be why I had such vivid dreams?

Pluto

I am no expert on Pluto and my astrological chart but I do know it has a lot of influence on my life because my Ascendant is in Aquarius. I believe it is now in my 1st house after years of tearing down old, outgrown loyalties, unhelpful patterns and codependent habits (divorce anyone?). It felt like trembling of the ground and then a volcanic explosion for me (as in anger lol) that only recently simmered down around May of this year, when Pluto went retrograde.

While Pluto was retrograde I felt relief from the anger and got some perspective on why I had been so angry, etc, making the decision to stop the “attack” on my ex and move forward more peacefully. I let go of the anger and vengeful thoughts and felt an immense relief in doing so. I left my counseling job and spent a lot of time resting, going inward and evaluating what worked for me in life and what did not, specifically in love/relationships and in career. I felt the need to move forward but a major “NO” from within when I tried to do so. It was very clear that I was to wait and when Pluto went direct that resistant was gone.

I backed off all summer and watched as those around me seemed to be going through their own evaluation periods. My sister especially went through this, but I also witnessed my brother fall into a depression for a while and only recently come out from it. My ex has been struggling (according to my kids) with his new girlfriend (fights/arguments) and work and, most recently, the conflict with our son. Interestingly, my daughter and my brother BOTH had interviews the day Pluto went direct. lol My daughter got offered the job and my brother is going to have interview #2 soon and I believe he will get that job offer. Whether he takes it is unclear yet. If he does, he will move out of my spare room in January. 😦

I don’t think the anger will be returning. I am done with wasting my time, thoughts, energy, and life force, on someone who never fully appreciated me or loved me for me. I deserve more. My focus is going to be on loving myself and looking to myself for those things I have always sought from others: validation, approval, love, value, companionship, security.

Other Happenings

Family Reunion

The day Pluto went direct I hosted a family gathering at my country home. It was an important one because 1. my mom’s 78th birthday was the day before, and 2. it was the first time my mom had seen her daughter and grandson (my sister and nephew) in years. I cannot remember how long it has been, but after my mom evicted my sister and her husband off her property, my sister refused to see or talk to her and would not let her son see her, his grandmother. My sister, who I have been speaking to since May (when Pluto went retro), has been sober and doing purposeful healing work. She originated to me that she wanted to see our mom, so I set up this gathering. It turned out beautifully.

My mom cried happy tears when she saw my sister and nephew and hugged my sister for a very long time. We had cake and chatted for a while and then took a walk down to the pond. My sister and brother along with my oldest son went exploring. My sister found a tiny turtle skull (featured photo) and my brother found a massive turtle shell in almost perfect condition. It was only missing three scutes, all around the bottom of the shell where it met the top portion.

Messages

All in all, I could feel a palpable shift in the energy that day and I continue to feel it. My dreams have also shifted. I keep getting messages and hints of upcoming changes related to family and relationships as well as perhaps resolution of lingering power/control dynamics.

In addition to the date of Dec. 21 of this year (winter solstice), I have twice been told my ex will call me. The first time I was told this (two weeks ago) my ex called me not long after about “wrestling” with our oldest son (major physical argument). The result was our son staying with me during his week with his father. I received 10 phone calls from my ex that day. 10! That is more phone calls than I receive in a year now that we are divorced. One phone call was quite productive, and though our son was insistent upon living with me full-time, I convinced him to give his father another chance and so he stayed there this past week. Had this incident happened a year ago, I believe I would have approached it all very differently to the extent that my son would likely be living with me full-time. My willingness and agreeableness to resolve the situation helped shift my ex’s approach and so what may have been a highly volatile situation was smoothed over, corners tucked in like a freshly made bed.

Then the night before last I awoke from a dream about my ex hearing, “He will call you”. This came with a Knowing of changes coming for my ex. These changes, like the house of cards he and I built together, has cracks in its foundation. The dream I had showed the floors of his house buckling and forming a crevasse down the middle of the living room, the devastation caused by a water leak. While I can’t say I Know the specific details of this collapse, it appears to be linked to him not doing the healing work he needed to do after our divorce as well as some other bad decisions. I did not wake feeling these issues would directly impact me and my life and/or finances but they might indirectly impact me.

I was also told very matter-of-factly by a masculine voice upon waking, “You will get everything you want, just not how you expect.” Is this good or bad news? IDK but hey, if I get everything I want, then bring it on. If it is not in the way I expect, then at least it will be interesting, right?

Pics from that day:

Turtle shell found 10/16. This is after it was cleaned and coated with polyurethane.
Blue-Winged Teal ducks in my pond.
Garter snake I encountered on my walk. It was cold that morning so the snake was sluggish and let me hold it.

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Kundalini Dream: Symbols from the Serpent

The beginning of the dream is hazy. I remember being outside in a busy town. It was a bright, cloudless day and there was a sense that something new was beginning. I was with some friends, none I recognized except for my ex-SIL, Dawn. Everyone was discussing work, especially Dawn who was uncertain about a job opportunity that had come up. She was confused about where to report for the interview and since the others also had interviews, we followed them into an office building. I only remember that the building had lots of windows, like a high rise, and the windows had a dark blue (throat, third-eye chakras) tinge to them.

Inside the building there were many lines of people each seeming to be for a specific job type. Our friends went to their lines and Dawn and I settled in one that looked to be the one she needed to be in. I did not have an interview. I seemed to be there only for support.

A male friend approached and the dream really gets hard to recall here. He seemed more familiar than the others. Dawn and I left the line we were in and I followed the man to an upper level. It was less crowded there and there was only one line with us and a few others. To the left was a child care center (inner child, family kept close) that had large windows so parents could look in. I remember thinking it must be nice to work somewhere that allowed you to be so close to your children while you worked.

I remember waiting a bit longer, talking to Dawn who was then called into her interview. I was asked if I wanted an interview by a lady with a clipboard. I told her I did not know what kind of work they were interviewing for and was unsure I would qualify. The lady enthusiastically announced that I did and ushered me and the male friend away.

I do not remember sitting through an interview. Instead, I remember feeling like the man was someone I was to work with. He had dark hair and a scruffy, 5 day shadow of a beard. His body type was quite large like he worked out and he was at least 6ft tall. He felt to be my ex-SIL’s uncle for some reason.

The dream shifts and I am outside again. I see ahead of me the man, his back to me, standing next to Dawn. They are on a ferry standing at the end looking out over the water. I immediately hurried towards them because I felt a strong draw to the man.

When I got there I gave the man a side hug and asked him, “How come I’ve never met you before?” There was a Knowing that he was family so it was odd we had never met. He said, “I was married.” Without words we exchanged information about one another in an instant. He told me he worked in information processing (logic, masculine energy). I remember telling him I just turned 50, was recently divorced and had finances enough to retire. He said, “That was me not long ago.” I understood his reply to mean he was older than me. I kept trying to figure out how he was my family, confusing waking reality with dream reality. It was at this time that Dawn seemed to no longer be present. This is also when I became lucid.

I could feel the boats movement and looked out over a beautiful scene of crystal clear water with green streaks of algae and water plants. Every once in a while there was a large, round boulder poking out of the water. It reminded me of Florida. I noticed the rocks had something written on them. I pointed them out to the man, “Look! There are symbols on the rocks!” They looked like Light Language symbols. He smiled and said, “They are from the serpent (Kundalini).” When I looked again it was like suddenly every rock in the water had a symbol and the symbols seemed to glow. I also saw what I thought was a dragon moving through the water effortlessly. It looked like a dragon snake (mastered power, primordial energy, protection). 

The man put his arm gently around my waist and I leaned into him. There was this amazing rush of energy between us that caused me to want to melt into him, so I did. He leaned over and began to gently kiss my forehead over and over again, covering me with kisses. With each kiss I surrendered a little more and then exhaled as my boundaries fell away. I felt more safe than I have ever felt there in his arms. His energy was strong and gentle at the same time. I felt protected and cherished. There was no  intense, burning desire or sexual desperation, just pure acceptance and love. He must have kissed me a dozen times. I could feel my third-eye blazing and at the same time my root became warm and expansive. The two energies seemed to merge in the middle somewhere between my heart and third chakra. The beauty of it woke me up.

I lingered in bed, relishing in the energy. I told my guidance, “That is what I want.” I was able to fall back into a light sleep. While there I saw the number 1121 (manifestation, alignment, partnership) and heard “210 days” (8 days before my Chiron Return). 

Kundalini Insight

When I woke, I knew that my experiences with the Kundalini, the massive clearing and purging, the seeming “twin flame” connection, the other K connection, brought me to this point. The K, with all its raging fire and deeply transformative, purging water, has cleared my energy body. The “volcanic” eruptions of energy were from a “pressure” release in areas of severe blockage. They were never meant to construe fate or “destiny” in any way whatsoever except to bring to my awareness that which had created the massive blocks and restrictions to the flow of prana. The unhealthy attachment and obsession brought about by the catalytic “twin flame”/heart connection was merely the K doing its work, helping me burn through unhealthy beliefs, past life traumas, and other blocks created in this and other lifetimes. 

It is so easy to assume the K is here to show us a path. No. It doesn’t do that. It is not a path it is US. Every part of the K is teaching us about ourselves. It is life force energy, that which comes with us into this body and merges us into physical form. It does not exist in the same form after we die. Why would it? Without a body, without the density of physical reality and the muck and mess that builds up in our physical “plumbing”, we would not have a Kundalini awakening at all.

Don’t listen to what your mind tells you when the K starts its rise within. Let it do its work. The more you let your mind try to run the show, to come up with reasons and to logically explain what is happening, the more painful the process will be. 

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Ghost Child

Earlier this year, my son kept hearing a child say his name and also “Help me” when he had on his headphones. I suggested he not use his headphones and the child voice went away for a while. Then he told me he heard it without his headphones on. My daughter chimed in and said, “OMG, does it say, ‘Help me’?” He nodded, eyes wide in disbelief. I realized then and there the voice was not someone hacking my son’s headphones but likely someone in Spirit. I told them, “Don’t worry. I will handle it.”

After they left for school I tuned in and tried to locate the Spirit. I found two young girls, one pretty small and the other one a bit older. I told the older of the two that they were scaring my children and to stop trying to communicate with them. I felt a response back that they were scared and searching for a way home. I instructed them to go to the Light and sent one of my guides to help them.

The activity stopped.

Until this morning.

I was having a dream about the rattle I often hear in my bathroom when the a/c is on. Yesterday I determined it was coming from the shower curtain rod. In the dream, a contractor was in my house and noticed the rattle. I told him it was the shower rod. He began to investigate and I heard a quiet voice in the background of the dream say, “Help me“. I remember noticing it in the dream and choosing to ignore it.

I went back to dreaming but something pulled me away from my dream and I instantly became lucid. As I felt myself shift back to waking reality I heard a small child’s voice, trembling in fear, say, “Help me.” It was a desperate cry for help and it sounded like the voice of a little boy, but honestly I cannot be sure since when children are very young they sound similar regardless of gender.

The voice was so real I immediately snapped into full awareness. I did not open my eyes. I located the source of the voice to my left, hovering as if the child were standing right over top of me. I did not mentally see a form or face. It was just an energy. I told the child, “I can’t help you. Please go to the Light.” I realized it may be the same child from the apartment. It probably was, actually. This came with the realization that it followed me. Sigh. I put up protection and the energy dissipated. I felt bad but it was 5am and I wanted more sleep.

Since I just recently saw a full on apparition at my country home, this incident has me wondering what is going on. Is my Light somehow attracting Spirit again when, for so long, it seemed they didn’t even notice my existence? Or maybe it is me and my willingness to use my spiritual abilities that is suddenly attracting them?

Whatever the reason, this small child’s voice pulled at my heart strings. It did cross my mind that this child could be something else, something not so nice. I have heard that demons (if you believe in such things) will disguise themselves as a child. So, just in case, I will refortify the space and my own energy with protective measures. Time to get out the sage and maybe put down some more salt.

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Dream, Vision and White Heron Feathers

Lots to report in a short time. Here we go…

First the White Heron Feathers. I found four in different locations on a morning walk. I took a path I have not walked in a while (also symbolic ha!). This was last Sunday. White Herons come in flocks to my pond and the adjacent pond. This time of year there are more than usual. However, I have only ever found one feather in the past. To find four on one walk was surprising.

The White Heron symbolizes patience, good fortune and Divine timing. Finding four of them brings in the energy of the number 4 which is often connected with the four directions, the four elements, balance and stability.

I was feeling somewhat disheartened that morning and it seemed to be confirmation from my guidance that my patience will pay off.

And then last night, prior to bed, I asked my guides to show me “what I am suppose to do” in this stage of my life. I did not expect an answer.

Dream: Mediumship

As posted this morning in my personal journal.

In the dream I was sitting at a table with some classmates. One looked like a girl I knew in high school. We’ll call her Nancy. All the seats were taken and I asked Nancy if I could sit next to her. It felt like she was somewhat snobby or a know-it-all but also like she was annoyed that I was there. She told me it was okay and I sat down making sure to avoid her sleeve which was covered in a nice, silk blouse sleeve that I could see through. 

It felt like the group of women I was with was talking about business matters. I remember hearing someone mention something that needed doing. Another woman in the group suggested a courier. Nancy was listening and asked, “Do you even know what a courier does?” I told her I knew and described what they do by saying they are similar to an office aid who goes between the office and some other place either taking items of importance back and forth or who completes other tasks that have to do with several offices, like a go-between. Nancy nodded her head but said I was almost correct.

The rest of the dream was a discussion about the importance of the work to be done and further elaboration on what the work involves. I do not recall the other woman being there during this discussion. Instead it seemed like Nancy was conveying this information to me personally. As the dream began to break up and I gained lucidity, it was clear the work in question was mine. I was responding to Nancy as I woke saying, “So you are talking about mediumship”. As I woke I felt mediumship was the gift that allowed me to do this kind or work.

When I woke I was seeing a visual of a person in between the physical and spiritual realms. It felt like I was being asked to be more than a medium but a representative trusted with valuable information from one realm, the realm of spirit, to another, the physical. It reminded me of channeling, though I do not think it is just that. 

Vision: Y-Tube and Communion

My morning was hectic with some surprise elements (personal things I will save for another time). I was tired because I had only slept 5hrs. I tried to sleep and “rested” for about two hours. During that time my mind mostly wandered and then, at some point, I became aware of a mental voice that was not my own.

I was thinking about this morning’s dream and during this time is when I noticed a guide was conversing with me. I believe I had been asking for another K connection at the time. He was asking me to consider what I required to do my work. Would I require a person I was physically connected to who I also met in person? Or would it be okay to have a connection with someone who also has a physical body but I did not meet in person? Or maybe someone who is not here physically? I said I preferred to come into physical contact with the other person. I am okay with dreams any time, but it is lonely and I feel adrift without someone to anchor me here. 

I then asked about the experiences I’ve had – what exactly is the Kundalini connection that I experienced? Like, how does it work? This type of connection is what I desire so I wanted to know exactly what was occurring because it felt like I was merged into one with another.

I was shown very clearly a tube like one would use in a science lab but it was in the shape of an inverted Y. It was sitting on a nightstand along with other items as if part of a room’s decor. The tube is apparently a real thing, known as a Y-Tube.

I was also shown and heard the name of one of my Light Code Oracle cards: Communion. In that card there are three circles coming together but not fully merged and it looks like a Venn Diagram.

The empty Y-Tube may be symbolic for an open channel. The top part is Universal consciousness or Source. The bottom of the Y is a split into dual receptacles. This indicates that Source is coming down and equally distributing into two individuals who are sharing in the Divine. 

So, what I was thinking about the two becoming one is actually one energy dividing itself to experience two bodies simultaneously. 

The Communion card is three circles joining. One circle is one individual’s consciousness (feminine), the other is the partners individual consciousness (masculine) and the last is Source of which we are both tuning into simultaneously. 

The entire message is profound and I am still digesting it. It is not something I did not already have awareness of but it was surprising the way my guide came into my thoughts. I had been on the edge of sleep and wake but not quite fully in the in-between when it occurred. My dream last night seemed to indicate a direction, one I had asked for previous to sleep, and it is not usual that I actually get instruction like this. It is clear that my purpose has to do with bridging the physical and the spiritual and now, with the symbolism provided during my meditation, it seems the Kundalini is part of my work. I am not really surprised. Why wouldn’t it be? 

I also did not realize how important the Communion card was. I drew that card not long ago in a reading for myself on May 25, 2025. It was the center card of three. The first card was Breakthrough, the last was Reflect. FYI: When I painted the Reflect card I was reminded of the “mirror” one experiences with Divine connections (some call them Twin Flames, I call them Heart Connections). However, following my dream and vision today, I believe it to be a good representation of what my guidance just relayed to me. There is a central symbol and it is receiving and transmitting beams of blue (information).

Regardless of all of the above, I have been asking to be guided towards my life’s purpose or work now and I feel very strongly it is linked to a partner, most likely a partner who I am able to come into Union with. My instructions appear to be that I am here as a medium but my work is not only to connect to Spirit for those who have lost loved ones, but also to connect to Divine Beings such as what some call ascended masters. When I come into contact with these Beings I don’t like to categorize them except to say they feel very ancient and contain great knowledge. It is this knowledge I am told I am here to convey. 

Oddly, I am not very inspired or moved by all of the above. Maybe because of today’s mundane events and the issues likely to arise from them. I am very calm considering all that has happened today. Oh and we got rain for the first time in a long while today also. When it rains, it pours I guess. 😉

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Dream: Venus in Aries

How about that full moon energy!? [eyeroll]

Lots of random, stressful things happened, but nothing so big I couldn’t handle it. For example, the weekend before last was a bit odd energy-wise. That Friday I was in a rush to go somewhere despite my guidance suggesting I slow down. As soon as I started to drive I got a low tire pressure warning. I went back home and aired up my tire and then left again despite yet another nudge to slow down and just “stay home”. Still rushing (and there was NO reason to), I clipped the bottom of my garage door, partially tearing my spoiler off my car and dislocating the roller off the door track. The garage door was undented and works fine with readjustment. I did, however, have to fix my flat and the spoiler. Total cost: $360.

The next day I opted to stay home all day because I could still sense that crazy, hurried energy. I got a call from my daughter that afternoon. She was frantic. She had lost her keys, including her key fob. She had to pay $300 to replace her dorm keys and she was crying and stressing.

All of the issues have been resolved, now, and I am surprised how calm I remained despite it all. It is proof I have grown. However, yesterday I discovered a leak in a pipe located between my country home and the garage guest room. Again, I got the hectic, almost frantic energy but chose to sit through it on my drive home. Once it passed, I called my step-father and my brother. I asked my brother to dig up the pipe. I asked my step-father to fix it. My step-father is going to fix it today. Also today, my daughter is getting a new fob and it is costing her $400.

These are just annoyances for me mostly but my mom has also had lots of things break (two of which were plumbing related) and told me about it this past weekend. I think it must have been something with the energy because WOW. So much crap in such a short time.

On a positive note, I have discovered that my long held belief that I cannot predict future events for family members is incorrect. I have now correctly predicted several things for my daughter, specifically job-related. Huh. I guess, though, I should know there really is no limit except the ones I place on myself. I had no issue predicting things for my first husband after we divorced. Why shouldn’t I be able to help my daughter? The only problem is she is now calling me all.the.time asking for more predictions, especially pressing me to tell her what she wants to hear. I have had to reel her in, reminding her that I am not able to see everything and life is meant to have mystery. She doesn’t like that at all. At least I know she believes in me, which feels nice.

Okay, on to a dream I wanted to share.

Dream: Venus in Aries

I was inside my house, which was a very grand mansion, and found two boxes left to me by my sister. I opened them and they were brand new baby bottles. I remember thinking, “Who would need that many bottles?” and also that I definitely didn’t need any since I did not have a baby. 

I remember conversing with someone online briefly. Then I went to this bar type restaurant where I was to meet a man who was in town on business for a few days. I took my son with me. 

The space was very golden in color (safe, protected space) and full of people mingling. The man was standing at the bar (space of connection) talking to another man and saw me before I saw him. When I saw him I froze. He was beautiful. I immediately lost the ability to speak coherently and started to walk away, hiding my face because I was wearing my glasses and felt ugly. I felt unprepared for meeting this man. He would surely reject me because of how beautiful he was and how ugly I felt. I remember looking for a my son who was running about like a child tends to do. I was planning on leaving. The man followed me. He smiled when I hid from him and came up and lifted my face up to his gently, looking directly at me. He told me he liked my glasses and that he had glasses also. He wanted to know if I was interested in continuing our date and I nodded, speechless. He talked and laughed, telling me about himself and his work, saying he was into information processing or something similar. He had a room in the adjacent hotel upstairs where he was staying with a coworker.

At some point I relaxed and accepted that this man liked me. I remember him discussing the energies with me, mentioning Venus. He said about the connection he was feeling with me, “I wonder what planet Venus is in. It must be Scorpio”. I corrected him and said, “I think Venus is in Aries”. When I said this, the electric energy I felt between us was very hard to resist and I could tell he felt it, too. I leaned into him, almost melting into his arms when he caught me, finally giving into the feeling. We kissed and it felt like my insides turned to warm jelly. We made out there in the middle of the bar area with people all around. I remember thinking it inappropriate but I chose not to stop. I didn’t care who saw me. The kisses were divine, his lips soft and our lips together seeming to merge into one.

I asked if I could see his room and he said yes, of course. He took me to a hallway but the hallway only extended a couple of feet and three stairs led up to a wooden landing. There were three doors with numbers on them. The middle door had a number that caught my attention but I can’t recall it now. My son, who had been lingering around the entire time, asked to use the restroom. The man showed him the door on the left and my son went inside. The man opened the door in the middle and we went inside. The room was small with a bed and dresser only. The man immediately got on the bed, leaning up against the wall and relaxing. I cautiously entered and sat on the side of the bed. My son, much younger than he is in real life, came in and began playing on the floor. He was probably about the age of 4. I was distracted by my son but knew the man also had children, two. He motioned for me to come closer, which I did, and he embraced me. The energy of the connection woke me.

Interpretation

My interpretation is the dream mirrors some of what I have been feeling lately. I miss feeling alive, I miss feeling how alive I feel when I feel desire(d).

It also feels like a continuation from a message I received before bed. I asked my guidance what I should be doing and I heard, “Keep looking for a man”. I didn’t feel this was a good action to take and went to sleep.

The man I met in the dream was absolutely beautiful, I must say. He glowed and his smile and eyes bedazzled me. I don’t recall what he looked like except for the way his energy appeared/felt, though. This is similar to another dream I recently had. I am not sure what Venus in Aries means but perhaps it has something to do with the electric attraction we felt? I did look up my Venus, which is in Leo. Leo and Aries is a wonderful attraction. My first husband was an Aries. The fire is real but it can burn out fast if it is not stoked.

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Kundalini Dream: Plumbing Puzzle

I’ve been pretty busy lately but my sleep has been superb! With it comes good dream recall and, to my delight, the Kundalini. So far, OBEs have not been on the agenda. Perhaps they will return soon, but, honestly, I prefer the Kundalini dreams to OBEs and the Kundalini dreams within an OBE, those are the best!

The energy lately has brought some mild purging dreams. I have woken up in tears every day since last Saturday. People I know and have known have been in these purging dreams, some from my recent past and others from way back, like all the way to high school. The people from one time period are mixed with people from other time periods and they all seem to know each other but in real life, they never met. It’s kinda bizarre.

Okay, so yesterday while driving I suddenly had memories of the Kundalini connections I have had. I began to get teary eyed. Fast forward to right before bed, I asked my guidance to bring that (Kundalini) back into my life. I have been missing Home and feeling lonely, which, to clarify, I don’t usually feel. I also asked my guidance to magnify my mediumship abilities. For example, I would love to physically see and audibly hear Spirit while awake. In my younger years I did not want to see/hear Spirit but now that I have worked through my fear of that, I believe I am ready.

So, my guidance did not disappoint, at least in terms of the Kundalini.

Dream: End of the World

This is the second such dream I’ve had about the world ending. I can’t recall the first now, but I was a watching a 9-11 documentary recently so it could be that is being processed in sleep. Regardless, in the dream me and my family were packing and rushing to get to safety. We were using a white van to flee but we were not sure where to go. Where does one go when the world is ending? As we packed, I began to think of what I wanted to leave behind and go a bit sad that my time was running out when I had not really lived yet. The main thing I remember is that, as the dream (and world) was ending, I was frantically writing a message on the inside of an empty barrel. The message was to my children but I can’t recall what I had written. I remember realizing there was no reason to pack things to take with me because we can’t take anything material with us when we leave this life. All we take with us are memories and the love we had for those we shared life with. 

The dream then shifts forward in time and my children find my message. I wake up.

Kundalini Dream: Plumbing Puzzle

I was in a nice house that felt warm and inviting. The place had a golden hue to it that seemed to flicker and shift, almost like there was a fire but I saw no fireplace (desire). Some friends had invited me over and had introduced me to a man. He was tall, slender and had light hair either blonde or light brown. His face was somewhat angular but not harsh and he had a nice smile. I think he had on glasses at some point but did not wear them all the time. 

Like I tend to do, I distanced myself from the others. I sat on the sofa and busied myself with what appeared to be some pieces of plumbing pipe (managing emotion). I vaguely recall thinking of my previous dream about the end of the world as I did this. The man ended up sitting next to me and watched. I was holding a large, 2in diameter metal pipe in my right hand and another in my left that was smaller. I don’t recall what I was doing with the two pipes. I did not put one inside the other as one might do because there was a thin, metal wire between the two that I was trying to adjust. The metal wire looked similar to the mechanism inside a toilet tank (management of emotion). The man leaned over, watching closely. He asked me if what I was doing was one of my hobbies. I laughed and replied that I have always liked figuring out how things worked. I shared with him a memory from my childhood when I would help my dad work on car engines and how I reassembled a carburetor after watching him take it apart.   

The man mentioned he also enjoyed puzzles. I looked over at him and his eyes were sparkling and he was grinning. I couldn’t help but laugh. 

I continued to fiddle with the pipes, placing them between myself and the man. He leaned over the pipes as if to kiss me. I did not hesitate to kiss him squarely on the lips before he had a chance to initiate the kiss on his own. Surprised, he hesitated and grinned, his eyes once again sparkling to the point of being dazzling. 

We talked a bit and he asked me how old I was. I told him I had just turned 50. He mentioned he was 49. I said, “Oh, so I am older than you?” He then asked, “What year were you born?” I told him, “1976”. He got quiet and slumped a bit, his eyes staring at the floor. I asked him, “What year were you born?” He said, “1979”. I leaned down and got at eye level with him and said, “So…I’m a little older. It doesn’t bother me.”

We separated for a moment but I don’t remember what led to it. I was too busy thinking thoughts like, “He will want to have sex with me. Should I insist on using protecting?,” etc. 

I feel like, for a moment, I went elsewhere, walking away from the man and his dazzling eyes and smile. Eventually, the man circled around towards me as I paced and was standing right in front of me. He touched me lightly on the shoulder sending a bolt of energy straight into my heart and said to me, “I want to marry you.” I didn’t respond but I was thinking, “I will never marry again”. It wasn’t a negative thought, it was just a fact. I also remember wondering how the hell anyone has a relationship with the energy we were experiencing? Surely it was doomed from the start. 

The whole time I am thinking these thoughts I am feeling swirling ecstatic bliss bouncing between my root and heart, back and forth, back and forth, like a ping pong ball, intense and intoxicatingly beautiful. I lean into him and take a huge breath, breathing him in. The inhale seemed to expand the intensity and further fueled the energy of our connection. Out of breath now, I asked him, “What is it called when I can breathe you in like this?” He said, “Sub…ion” I couldn’t make out what he said in its entirety because I was becoming lucid, but I think he said “submission”. I woke soon after, the energy in my heart and root still doing its dance, with tears in my eyes.

I did not dare move after waking because when I do, it causes the energy to dissipate. I must have laid there for a half an hour just soaking it up. I told my guidance, “Thank you”. 

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Pre-Eclipse Dream About Acceptance

The eclipse energies are coming in and I can feel them. For me, it seems the energy amplifies something I’ve already been experiencing lately. It is a feeling of two distinct me’s, one that is ready to take on the world and another who wants to withdraw and retreat. Another thing the eclipse energy is doing is showing me that it is time to start moving away from reliance upon others for my financial and material needs and begin relying on myself. 

Dream: Growth

This dream came early this morning. In the dream I was in the 1800’s. It reminded me of the show Outlander. My ex in this life was my husband in the dream. Where we lived was a nicer house that was dank and gray inside, so perhaps a castle-like structure. We had children and I spent much of my day to day tending to them and the house. I remember my ex was very involved in the community. It was a small community and everyone knew everyone. As the children grew my ex became more and more distant, busier with his duties and other community involvements, leaving me alone most of the time. We had two boys who grew strong and I was very proud of them. 

While I watched my children grow and change, turning into strong and capable men, I saw myself grow older, frailer and smaller. I saw the contrast of how growth and change occurred. For me, it was slower, harder to detect. For my boys it was easy to see. But what about growth and change one cannot see on the outside? I felt I had grown so much, maybe even more than my boys. So why did no one notice? Because it was not obvious like it is when one grows into an adult. And while I was growing inside, on the outside I seemed to be stagnating; withering away. Yet for the boys, growth on the outside mirrored the growth on the inside. This realization saddened me.

One day I returned from town and found my ex holding up a wall against some invaders. He planned to drop it on them and crush them all. Our boys were behind the wall with him. I put up my hand to try and stop him and he laughed at me, commenting on my big heart and how I tried to save everyone. He told me I would not be able to save these people and began to move in a way suggesting a poor outcome for the people. I somehow managed to get him to let me get my bag which was behind the wall with him. Inside the bag were medicines that could heal. I hurried behind the wall, grabbed my bag and stepped away. In that instant my husband had made a decision. He chose to reject me and selected another wife, discarding me like a piece of food scrap. What was worse was that no one cared. Everyone in the community followed his lead and not one person seemed to notice I was gone. I despaired because I knew this was the end for me. No one would come to my rescue and I would be alone until the end of my days.

At the end of the dream, I stood on the edge of a cliff facing the turbulent and dark waters of the ocean below. The sky was gray and the landscape dreary. The wind whistled and howled. At the same time in my memory I saw those same waters calm and inviting. I could see the greenery of the land around and it felt peaceful and inviting. The stark contrast of the two tore at my heart.

Realization

I woke in tears as the realization of all the dream represented hit me full force. The most unfair part was how no one could see how much I had grown. All they could see was what I presented to them via my physical form and actions. They did not have access to my internal world, to the wins and loses, the difficult decisions that tore at my heart or the reasons behind my actions. They formed opinions quickly, believing what their physical eyes saw, and discarded any evidence to the contrary. It saddened me that my children would have to endure this, also. It saddened me that no one, not even my own mother, really knew who I was. It saddened me that I will never fully be known as long as I am in this physical form. That is all I have ever really wanted and it is not meant to be. Not in this place.

I also cried because I felt the part of the dream where I knew I would be alone until this life ended was true. I need to accept that the possibility is high that I will never love, never feel chosen, never have closeness, never feel vulnerable again. This was it and there was no point in wasting my time reminiscing about what was or what could have been or despairing about what will never be. Acceptance is paramount. 

My thoughts centered on how hard I have tried in this life to show others who I am. I have, up until this point in my life, performed how others wanted me to. All this was done out of a desire to be known, to be seen, to be validated. The dream revealed this was and never will be a means to that end.

Of course my guidance came through full force reminding me that all is not lost and asking me to look within at my truth. Acceptance was encouraged. Acceptance doesn’t mean all is futile. Acceptance means understanding that my strategy was wrong. Acceptance guides me towards reevaluation. Acceptance leads to a lesson learned, not failure. 

Ultimately what transforms (growth) on the inside shines through on the outside.