Tag Archives: dream interpretation

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Kundalini Dream: Symbols from the Serpent

The beginning of the dream is hazy. I remember being outside in a busy town. It was a bright, cloudless day and there was a sense that something new was beginning. I was with some friends, none I recognized except for my ex-SIL, Dawn. Everyone was discussing work, especially Dawn who was uncertain about a job opportunity that had come up. She was confused about where to report for the interview and since the others also had interviews, we followed them into an office building. I only remember that the building had lots of windows, like a high rise, and the windows had a dark blue (throat, third-eye chakras) tinge to them.

Inside the building there were many lines of people each seeming to be for a specific job type. Our friends went to their lines and Dawn and I settled in one that looked to be the one she needed to be in. I did not have an interview. I seemed to be there only for support.

A male friend approached and the dream really gets hard to recall here. He seemed more familiar than the others. Dawn and I left the line we were in and I followed the man to an upper level. It was less crowded there and there was only one line with us and a few others. To the left was a child care center (inner child, family kept close) that had large windows so parents could look in. I remember thinking it must be nice to work somewhere that allowed you to be so close to your children while you worked.

I remember waiting a bit longer, talking to Dawn who was then called into her interview. I was asked if I wanted an interview by a lady with a clipboard. I told her I did not know what kind of work they were interviewing for and was unsure I would qualify. The lady enthusiastically announced that I did and ushered me and the male friend away.

I do not remember sitting through an interview. Instead, I remember feeling like the man was someone I was to work with. He had dark hair and a scruffy, 5 day shadow of a beard. His body type was quite large like he worked out and he was at least 6ft tall. He felt to be my ex-SIL’s uncle for some reason.

The dream shifts and I am outside again. I see ahead of me the man, his back to me, standing next to Dawn. They are on a ferry standing at the end looking out over the water. I immediately hurried towards them because I felt a strong draw to the man.

When I got there I gave the man a side hug and asked him, “How come I’ve never met you before?” There was a Knowing that he was family so it was odd we had never met. He said, “I was married.” Without words we exchanged information about one another in an instant. He told me he worked in information processing (logic, masculine energy). I remember telling him I just turned 50, was recently divorced and had finances enough to retire. He said, “That was me not long ago.” I understood his reply to mean he was older than me. I kept trying to figure out how he was my family, confusing waking reality with dream reality. It was at this time that Dawn seemed to no longer be present. This is also when I became lucid.

I could feel the boats movement and looked out over a beautiful scene of crystal clear water with green streaks of algae and water plants. Every once in a while there was a large, round boulder poking out of the water. It reminded me of Florida. I noticed the rocks had something written on them. I pointed them out to the man, “Look! There are symbols on the rocks!” They looked like Light Language symbols. He smiled and said, “They are from the serpent (Kundalini).” When I looked again it was like suddenly every rock in the water had a symbol and the symbols seemed to glow. I also saw what I thought was a dragon moving through the water effortlessly. It looked like a dragon snake (mastered power, primordial energy, protection). 

The man put his arm gently around my waist and I leaned into him. There was this amazing rush of energy between us that caused me to want to melt into him, so I did. He leaned over and began to gently kiss my forehead over and over again, covering me with kisses. With each kiss I surrendered a little more and then exhaled as my boundaries fell away. I felt more safe than I have ever felt there in his arms. His energy was strong and gentle at the same time. I felt protected and cherished. There was no  intense, burning desire or sexual desperation, just pure acceptance and love. He must have kissed me a dozen times. I could feel my third-eye blazing and at the same time my root became warm and expansive. The two energies seemed to merge in the middle somewhere between my heart and third chakra. The beauty of it woke me up.

I lingered in bed, relishing in the energy. I told my guidance, “That is what I want.” I was able to fall back into a light sleep. While there I saw the number 1121 (manifestation, alignment, partnership) and heard “210 days” (8 days before my Chiron Return). 

Kundalini Insight

When I woke, I knew that my experiences with the Kundalini, the massive clearing and purging, the seeming “twin flame” connection, the other K connection, brought me to this point. The K, with all its raging fire and deeply transformative, purging water, has cleared my energy body. The “volcanic” eruptions of energy were from a “pressure” release in areas of severe blockage. They were never meant to construe fate or “destiny” in any way whatsoever except to bring to my awareness that which had created the massive blocks and restrictions to the flow of prana. The unhealthy attachment and obsession brought about by the catalytic “twin flame”/heart connection was merely the K doing its work, helping me burn through unhealthy beliefs, past life traumas, and other blocks created in this and other lifetimes. 

It is so easy to assume the K is here to show us a path. No. It doesn’t do that. It is not a path it is US. Every part of the K is teaching us about ourselves. It is life force energy, that which comes with us into this body and merges us into physical form. It does not exist in the same form after we die. Why would it? Without a body, without the density of physical reality and the muck and mess that builds up in our physical “plumbing”, we would not have a Kundalini awakening at all.

Don’t listen to what your mind tells you when the K starts its rise within. Let it do its work. The more you let your mind try to run the show, to come up with reasons and to logically explain what is happening, the more painful the process will be. 

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Lucid Dream: You’re Dreaming

Woke at 5:30am and was awake only a short while. I didn’t want to wake up yet so went back to sleep.

I entered the dream aware I was dreaming straight away. I was in a house I have been to in other dreams. It feels like my mom’s house but isn’t. It has the same long driveway and a similar layout but is darker overall. There was a group of people there, some I recognized, others I did not. They all felt like family. My mom and my sister were there and so was the salesman from the furniture store (huh?). 

Mostly I remember realizing it was a dream and saying aloud to my invisible companion traveler, “Wow! Everything feels so real! It looks so real!” Then I went to each person and told them, “You’re dreaming.” I told the whole group, also. They seemed to listen. I wasn’t excited, just matter-of-fact. 

Then I went outside and decided to fly to test it. It was very easy and I went up super fast. Worried I would go where I didn’t want to go, I decided to will myself back down. It worked and I came down easily, however, there was a counterthought that suggested I let go and see where it took me. So, I did and a forced pulled me backwards swiftly. I went with it but lost my vision and felt my body in bed. I shifted positions and shifted back into the scene.

I was inside and all the people were seated together around a long table. I wondered what to do next. I saw my sister and went to her. I told her, “You’re awake you know.” She acted like she heard me but kept staring ahead like she was in a trance. I then whispered to her, “You can make things better if you would just get a job.” She said, “I have a job. I make $13.25/hr.” Then she told me about the job. I only remember that it was in a suppressive environment. I remember telling her it was good she had a job and that she just needed to be responsible and use the money wisely. 

The salesman I remembered was seated a the head of the table and he stated aloud to me and the group, “I know I’m asleep.” lol I found him strangely out of place.

The last thing I recall is that I went to the back door which was glass. I decided to try something I use to do all the time when OOB. I walked through the door and it worked! I expected to feel like I became the glass for a moment as I went through but the glass actually bowed outward like it was made of plastic wrap. So the sensation was of a resistance and then a sudden freedom when the glass opened up and let me through. 

Woke up and checked the time. It was 6:33am.

The dream feels to be a message to myself to remember that I am dreaming and not to take life so seriously. It also appears to be a reminder of how unaware the people in my life are they are also dreaming. So many of us sleepwalk through life. I have been doing so lately and am finally waking up again. 🙂

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Dream: Wac(k)o

March 24th. Good sleep, lots of dreams. No lucidity. No surprise.

Dreams

Didn’t bother to jot down notes after the dreams so my recall is low except for the last dream.

Visiting Houses

Me and my family (didn’t recognize any of them though) were visiting various houses. From the outside, they looked like small, quaint abodes. No reason to think they would be different on the inside from each other. However, inside, the houses were very different. In the first few houses the inside was just one, large room with bathroom, kitchen, bedroom and living room all in one space. In the first couple, beds were in the middle of the space, kitchens were just a sink and a stove, bathrooms were a toilet. As we continued, the houses began to change little by little. In the next few, the one room had better bathroom facilities such as an entire bathtub in the middle of the wall in the center and kitchen countertops with fridges that were very shallow and topped with microwaves. Still, as we progressed, the one room would  be sectioned off and a very tiny, bedroom would be in the space.

The last house we visited was very unlike the others. It was bigger inside and had levels, a kitchen, a reading nook and various small stairs leading to the levels. As we walked through, I marveled at the books in the space and the way it was decorated. 

The man who owned the house was there and he was very nice. When I looked closely at him he resembled someone familiar. His face was severely wrinkled, though, like he was very, very old.

At one point, I walked up some steps, leaning on the rails, which then broke under my weight. The owner approached and helped me. He said, “I need to fix that. Someone’s going to get hurt.” He peered over the rails, so I did, also, expecting a long drop. There wasn’t one.

I mentioned to the man how I liked his books and commented he had “all the good ones”. He laughed, pointing to a book I had just passed and saying, “That’s a sequel”. I continued back towards the front of the house. I marveled at a fish aquarium that was sealed in glass. It looked like a mini version of the one I have in waking life. I wondered how he could feed the fish but thought it a good idea that it was sealed, that way it never had to be cleaned. 

I liked the man’s house and thought, “I could live here.”

In Custody

I was driving a white care along a highway. My friend was in the car with me. I remember she and I were planning to go on a long trip but were doing some shopping before we left. I thought about driving on the highway and didn’t want to. It made me anxious. So, I told her, “I don’t want to drive on the highway. Maybe we can just keep shopping?” I kept driving. In my mind I was thinking it safer to stay close to town in a familiar area. 

As I drove, I kinda blanked out, staring off as if in a trance. I was pulled out of my reverie when my friend grabbed the wheel from me. I felt the car brake suddenly as it veered to the side of the road and came to a stop. I could do nothing but let it happen. My friend pointed and I saw a patrol car’s flashing lights behind us. 

I immediately jumped out of the car and apologized to the approaching officer, telling him I didn’t see him and feeling uncertain as to why he stopped me. I felt weird. I told him I had a headache and wasn’t feeling very good, which wasn’t true. I just didn’t know how to describe what I felt. He took me with him. I don’t recall being handcuffed, though.

Then I was inside a narrow building sitting in a seat that reminded me of the seats on a school bus. My husband was with me and my friend was gone. I was confused and didn’t know where I was. I remember the officer questioning us and seeing him writing on slips of paper, like tickets. This is when I became aware that I was wearing a warm, winter hat and a heavy coat because my head began to get warm and I took off the hat. I said, “I bet they’re wondering why I’m wearing a hat.” A woman, wearing a fleece hat, looked at me and I remember thinking I wasn’t the only one.

I got antsy as I waited, confused. Somehow, I ended up going for a walk outside the tiny police station. My friend was there again and I was talking aloud, wondering how we got there and where we were. The terrain was unfamiliar to where I thought we were going. What I recall seeing is tall, thick trees and vegetation, occasional boulders, and deep ditches. The road itself was only a two lane, paved highway, and very narrow. I could see no towns or evidence of people anywhere.

Eventually, I zoned out again. When I came out of my zombie-like state, I was walking north and all alone. I turned to look back at where I had come from and realized I had walked quite a distance from the station. I could see it, a blue, oblong container-like unit sitting amidst tall pine trees. So, I turned and ran back, hoping my absence wasn’t noticed and I wouldn’t get in more trouble. I dropped my black, winter coat somewhere along the roadside.

I entered the station, which again was very narrow and resembled the inside of a bus. No one seemed to notice my absence. The officer was handing out the judge’s decisions. They were in the form of letters in envelopes. The woman next to me was handed hers and then the officer handed me a piece of paper with lots of writing on it. It had my husband’s name on it, not mine. The slip indicated he was free to go, no charges, no fines. My husband wasn’t there, though.

Another person near me was being questioned before being released. The questions were about some pills he had with him. I had a visual of a small bag of tiny, pink pills. Specifically, the officer asked if the pills could be crushed and snorted, and, if so, would taking too many cause hemorrhage. I don’t remember the answer but I knew the answer was “yes” because I had a vision of someone’s nose bleeding uncontrollably.  

Confused, I wondered where my slip was. I was never handed one. Instead, the entire station began to move. I looked out the window and saw the scenery I had just seen on my walk. I thought, “Maybe I will find my coat on the side of the road somewhere.” Unfortunately, the road went by fast and I couldn’t make out anything on the side of it. 

Eventually, it was obvious we had traveled far beyond where I had walked. The scenery began to look more and more treacherous, with boulders, steep ditches, downed trees and obstacles that had been moved aside. I saw where the old road had been, a road that was familiar, but it had been closed because of downed trees and other damage. The bus went left on a detour road. This road was only two, well-traveled juts cut into dirt and gravel. 

I knew we were traveling in the opposite direction to where I wanted to go. In my mind, I saw us in Texas, traveling north. I somehow got it in my head that we were going to Waco. To my right, I saw a small town taking form. It looked like something from another time. I heard a voice over a loudspeaker as we passed the town but can’t remember what it said. Whatever it was, it made me nervous and upset and I didn’t want to be on the bus, going wherever it was going.

I began to panic because I had left my cell phone in my coat pocket. What would I do in this far away place without any way to communicate with the people I know? I told the officer up front, “I don’t have my phone. I left it in my jacket pocket, which I dropped on the road. I need my phone. I don’t remember anyone’s phone numbers.” I began to cry at the idea of being somewhere far away and having no way to communicate with anyone. This woke me up.

Interpretation

I think the second dream symbolizes heading “down the wrong road”. It seemed like a warning dream. 

The part where I don’t want to venture out on the highway but opt to stay close to town and the familiar is very much how I am in life. It is easier and feels safer to keep things as they are. It is familiar and comfortable. 

I zone out twice in the dream. “Zoning out” in the dream is me losing awareness or sleepwalking. It is symbolic of how I’ve been lately. I let things continue as is, going into a kind of automaticity. Something unexpected wakes me up and I am forced to stop. Then, the police take me. Police symbolize an intervention by higher forces; fate. 

Then I spent the rest of the dream confused and unable to stop what is happening. There is a moment where I talk with my friend about heading north (typically a good direction to go) but then I zone out again, losing time and panicking about leaving the police station. So, I recognize the station/police as needed/necessary. Or maybe I just return because I am confused and see the station/police as a safe place?

The most memorable symbol is the heavy winter coat I am wearing. Coats = protection. I drop it and my phone (communication) and then wish I hadn’t. 

Also, I think Waco maybe symbolizes “Wacko”, as in “crazy”. My daughter often calls Waco by the name as a joke because of the Branch Davidian tragedy that occurred there. 

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Dreams: Birth and Wedding Preparations

Another night of vivid dreams. None lucid this time but that’s okay. Kinda glad I wasn’t lucid, especially for the first one.

Dream: Pooping a Baby

I felt an extreme pressure in my nether regions that felt like I needed to have a bowel movement. I went to the restroom and when I pushed ever so slightly I felt this huge mass of something down below. I reached down to feel what it was and felt this massive, round, solid lump. Immediately concerned because it felt like a baby’s head, I called my mom in to help. I told her, “I think I’m having a baby” she said, “Then we should go to a hospital right now.” The pressure below was extreme. I was dong everything in my power not to drop the baby right there. It is hard to describe the feeling. There wasn’t any pain, just intense pressure. Every pelvic floor muscle I had was activated to try and keep the baby inside. One look at my face and my mom said, “I don’t think we have time.” She instructed me to climb into an empty bathtub, which I did. I lay down and pushed. I could feel the mass moving out but was highly concerned it would be covered in feces. I never looked but could feel something wet, likely blood, coming out with the baby. The dream ended before the baby was fully born so I don’t even know if it was a baby, and if it was, whether it was alive or not.

When I woke the sensations of the dream lingered but disappeared fast. It was a weird feeling!

Dream: Vow Renewal Preparation

I walked into a church with my husband and a few others. There was quite a bit of activity inside with various small groups of people clustered together. It was soon clear they were all signing up for wedding ceremonies to be performed that day. I was wearing a wedding gown, so it was clear I was getting married, also. The whole thing felt a bit rushed, though, and all the people in the chapel made me anxious. 

We spent a little bit of time getting things in order such as who would be standing where and what time the ceremony would take place. A woman I didn’t recognize was to stand by my side. We discussed her holding my bouquet while the rings and vows were exchanged. I had no idea who she was but assumed she was just there to help, a stranger doing a good deed. She had shoulder length light brown, almost reddish blonde hair, a round face, and a short, chubby body. She seemed nice enough and I didn’t have any issues with her helping me. The thing that was concerning is I was completely unsure how I got there, who I was marrying and why. I concluded that the ceremony was a vow renewal.

I remember watching a group of very tall, black ladies walking toward the entrance/exit of the chapel. They were extremely loud and excited. The woman with me said she recognized one lady and even called out to her to say hello. The woman had an odd shaped body and I remember noticing. She had this roll of skin pushed up high under her breasts as if the pants she was wearing were too tight. It made her silhouette look unhuman and I thought to myself, “I’m glad I don’t look like that.” lol

Then it was time to talk to the man who would be doing the ceremony. He was short, older, and balding. I remember looking down at my dress at this time. It was long and white with some lace. I knew it was a wedding gown. It all felt really silly and unnecessary to me and I didn’t care about the details being discussed. The busy chapel and all the groups inside made the entire process even less appealing. I didn’t want to get married or re-married and if I did, I sure wouldn’t want it to take place here, tightly scheduled between other wedding parties. 

I woke up from the dream thinking, “What was that about? I would never do a vow renewal.” lol

Considerations

As I was typing the wedding preparation dream I remembered something that happened yesterday on my drive into work. 

I haven’t worn my wedding ring in years. I stopped because my husband never wore his (he welds and works with his hands) and I don’t like wearing jewelry. Yet yesterday, looking at my hands on the steering wheel, it felt like I had forgotten something. I had an urge to touch my ring finger where, in the distant past, I would fiddle with my ring and make sure the diamond was straight and centered (or it would cut my other finger). It all happened quite fast but I recognized the oddness of it in the moment. I wondered briefly if it had anything to do with my dream from the night before where I kept trying to remember who I married in this lifetime. I didn’t spend too much time thinking about it and promptly forgot about it….until now.

My BIL and SIL recently renewed their wedding vows in a very public way. My husband has since asked if we could do the same. He hasn’t pushed it on me but he has mentioned it a few times now. I am not interested. I didn’t want to have a public ceremony the first time we married. I wanted to elope. Yet he insisted and so I gave in and agreed to a church wedding. Honestly, if I could do it all over again I wouldn’t. So, that was probably why I was feeling like I was in the dream. I just wanted outta there! lol

The dream about giving birth may be related to the healing my guides referred to yesterday. When I said I wanted to go OOB they told me, “You’re still healing”. I wondered what they meant. I have since asked (after these dreams) them to elaborate. 

Having a strong urge to use the bathroom is symbolic of release or a need to relieve ones self of “waste”. Spiritually and emotionally, waste is anything we have been holding onto that is no longer needed and might even be bad for us. Babies are signs of new life, new beginnings, hope, and renewal. Since IDK if the baby was alive or not, or if it was even a baby, my guess is that I am trying to rid myself of false hope and ideas that at one time seemed promising and new but have since degraded. Overall, this interpretation feels correct to me. One of the hardest things for me since 2015 and the entire heart connection experience has been letting go of the “what if”. There were so many hopes dashed and destroyed and the hardest part was that I believed they would come to be. I feel so foolish for ever believing. 

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Strong Emotion, Vivid Dreams

I’ve been having vivid dreams for some time now. Many are emotional while others feel to be linked to a kind of life review going on behind the scenes of my life. In waking life, I’ve had similar, with emotions overflowing, brought on by family circumstances and higher than usual levels of stress.

This time of year it isn’t uncommon for me to have higher than usual spiritual and emotional activity in dreamtime as well as waking reality. Some years are worse than others. This year has been unusually intense – all year but especially since July/August.

Most recently I’ve been struggling with indicators all around me that I am “selfish”. I don’t doubt I am selfish and am not arguing against it, but the way it has been presented to me is in such a judgmental and critical way that it has been difficult to avoid upset. The main upset was that my mom told my husband that she has come to accept that I am nothing more than a child who thinks only about myself. To hear this (second hand) hurt horribly. Sure, that was the me from the past, but not the me in the present! I’ve grown by leaps and bounds. Yet to think that my mother still sees me as I was and not as I am, hurt.

The above is just one example. I have felt the burden of expectation to the extreme and it leaves me feeling that nothing I do will ever be enough. I am emotionally and spiritually exhausted.

Dream: Show Love to Be Love

I was touring a school (life, lessons) that I have seen in a dream before. The principal was trying to get me to work there. It was said in passing, “We know you like to be home early”, and I said I could stay later now, that my circumstances had changed. I was feeling and acting very positive though I never actually accepted the job offer.

Then I was speaking with others in a group. They were discussing plans regarding the school but it felt political, like many peoples’ lives would be impacted (Earth collective?). Something was said and my opinion was asked. I blurted out with passion, “It’s all about love! You have to show love to BE love.” The feelings I had were about how people in the group were looking to enact policy in their own interests and not really looking at how the greater population would be impacted. It was outrageous to me and at the same time horribly sad. I began to cry as I repeated the words over and over. Someone in the group came up and wrapped their arms around my shoulders and guided me outside. It felt like the group understood my upset.

I was taken to a small, raised garden (developing something meaningful) constructed of wood boards and filled with fresh, dark dirt. Someone had just piled the dirt in so that it came to a point in the middle of the beds. I sat on the edge of one of the beds with a small spade and began to cut deep into the soil. I cut in a grid pattern, making individual spots for seedlings to be planted. As I did this, I spoke with the women who had escorted me outside. I can’t remember our exact words but it was mostly about what I had said and how I was feeling. The more we talked, the more the grid pattern emerged. I looked across at an untilled section and saw a small, green shoot pushing through the dirt. I thought it odd because I hadn’t planted anything yet. I wondered who did.

I woke, still softly crying, and thinking, “I can’t love. It’s too hard.”

Then part of a song came to mind: “I can’t make you love me, if you don’t. You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t.” It occurred to me that love can’t be forced. It’s very nature isn’t forced. Hearing the song and understanding the meaning gave me relief.

Dream: Diastolic Blood Pressure

I arrived at a small clinic (healing) with a group of people. Someone thanked us for volunteering to be part of their study and me and about three other people were escorted into a waiting area. I remember being in the front of the group as we walked in and came to two, small doors about the size of doggy doors. I wondered where the regular doors were. I looked around and everything was bright white except for the door knobs and the outlines of wall panels where the shadows broke up the white. The people with me didn’t speak with me nor do I recall what they looked like. I remember wanting to get the tests over with.

A female nurse dressed in a white uniform with a light blue nametag came to a door that seemed to suddenly appear beside the two smaller ones. She explained that they were going to take blood samples and our blood pressure (ability to cope with stress). A male nurse stood behind her in the doorway.

I was first in line so I rolled over to three small stairs. The male nurse reached his hand towards me to help me up, saying, “Here, let me help you. I didn’t realize….” This is when I realized I was in a wheelchair (dependency, helplessness). I got up, the chair stuck to me, and walked up the stairs carrying it with me like it was a part of my body. My walk was stiff and slow as if I were in pain, but I felt no pain. The nurse, surprised, smiled and said, “Okay then.”

They escorted me to a bed draped in white. I sat down, my torso upright and my legs straight in front of me. A nurse came over with her things and began to do the tests. I can’t remember the exact tests, though. There was a slight worry about needles at one point and then another one about my nervousness in hospital settings.

Some time elapsed that I can’t recall. It felt like a long time and I felt myself popping back and forth between wherever I was and the dream scene. It gave me a slight dizzy feeling.

When they were done and I was allowed to leave, I asked for my BP numbers. The nurse told me they would be provided. It was then that I saw I was also dressed in white and had tubes and wires connected to me as if I had been admitted to the hospital. I walked over to the window where I asked the nurse again to share my BP. I told her I have had issues with it being high in clinical settings. She sat me down and looked me in the eye acting very serious. She said, “It seems your numbers like to jump around.” This made sense to me and I repeated that I get anxious. She said, “It is specifically your diastolic number.” I asked, “How high was it? When I was at the dentist it was 95.”

I woke up thinking “diastolic” and seeing the word in my mind. I wasn’t concerned, just worried I had forgotten which number (top or bottom) it was and that I might have gotten it wrong in the dream. I didn’t.

Diastolic: Referring to the time when the heart is in a period of relaxation and dilatation (expansion).

Diastolic – from the Greek diastole meaning “a drawing apart.”

Message Tie-In

I was watching an Amazon series last night called, “The Loop”. The episode I watched was called, “Stasis”. In it one of the main characters was thinking about how things don’t last in life. The good times are great, love is magical, everything feels special and amazing….then it’s just gone and you are left wondering, “What happened?” I have thought the same many times. It just feels like the effort isn’t worth it if it doesn’t last. Why put your heart into someone or something only to have it disappear and leave you with an empty feeling?

The series is funny because so far in all of them someone is wishing something and then they are given it in unexpected ways. This girl finds a device that freezes time and allows her to stretch out the moment as long as she wants. She ends up taking a boy there and they live out their romance in stasis. In the end, their relationships burns out despite them having the endless moment to themselves. She is depressed and sad later, going fishing with her father who asks her what’s wrong. She says her relationship is ending. He says, “Some things are special because they don’t last.”

To me, his statement was spot on: Bingo!

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Two Vivid Dreams

Dreams were vivid last night.

Virus!

This dream seemed to go on all night.

I downloaded a game and it turned out to be a virus. It popped up on my screen and made it impossible to access anything else on my computer. I tried everything but it wouldn’t go away. The final try option was to force quit the computer and then boot it in safe mode so that I could open it from a previous backup. When I was at my wits end, I checked my phone looking up the name of the game/virus to see if there was an easier fix, one that didn’t mean I would end up losing data. The results were pages upon pages of a backstory with characters, etc. Not interested in all of that, I went to the end of the printout hoping to find the solution. What I discovered was that the only way to get rid of the virus was to play the game through to the end. I saw that I had to master all five levels which were named. The names were names of people (can’t recall them now). The minute I saw this I knew it was not something I wanted to do and so went to reboot the computer in safe mode so that I could return to an earlier backup and rid myself of the virus. 

Pursuit

The dream began with me being offered first dibs on a house that was being sold by an old friend. I don’t remember who this friend was but he felt like someone from my mother’s church. I forgot and later passed by the house which brought back the memory. I went to the house and found three young adults inside. I learned they were renting the home for three times what I would have paid for it. 

I looked around noticing there was a tiled pool in the back yard that was nearly empty of water. It was quite shallow for a pool but in nice condition. I remember saying, “I didn’t know pools could be completely tiled like that.” I also noticed an old freezer whose door wouldn’t close all the way. I said, “Guess it’s never hot in here.” 

As I left I got into an old yellow car and noticed I was blocked by other cars from people arriving to the house. As I opened the passenger side door I saw a purse laying on the ground. It was full of pill bottles. I threw it into the car and went to ask if they could move the cars. They agreed and I got into my car. It moved on its own, though, going too fast, downhill on the lawn. The brakes were little help but I made it to the main road where a delivery man had pizza for the people in the house.

As I drove onto the main road, two people followed, a man and a woman. They kept following and I yelled for them to stop because it was creepy. As I drove down the main road they pursued me. I went faster, but even though they were on foot they were close behind.

Eventually the car was gone and I was running towards a building looking behind me the whole time. Inside the building I ran down hallways but the people were always close behind. I came to a doorway, opened it and saw it could be locked from the inside so I went in and locked it. Feeling safer, I slowed down and investigated the space. It had many doors and a long hallway that led to a larger room with windows all around. I checked the doors for a way out of the building. They were either all closets or dark rooms. I soon realized I had locked myself in place where the only exit was right into the path of my pursuers. 

I decided I would just hide out and considered my options. I was sure at some point my pursuers would find a way in to get me. I could hide under a counter or open a window or hide outside. It was a long way down, though, and I knew I couldn’t survive long without food or water. 

Interpretations

I am certain the first dream is about my options regarding life. I am being shown that I selected this “game” to play and now I have only two choices – play the game to the end or opt out and start over, losing all “data” I’ve gathered in the time I’ve been in the game. To play to the end means mastering five levels, each one with a person’s name attached, people I have agreements with. When I chose to reboot (start over) I had a feeling that I didn’t have any other choice. Playing the game to the end was just not an option.

The second dream is mostly about feeling trapped and knowing I will have to face my fears at some point. It is likely a continuation of the first dream “discussion” (I know the dreams stem from a discussion with my Team). 

The beginning of the dream is likely me being reminded about a contract. I am inside a “home” that I had promised to buy but I find it occupied and decide not to take on the task of ownership. The pool in the back is almost empty. I had a pool dream yesterday of constructing a pool and it being filled with water but it was all black and white. I wanted to paint it to give it color and was told I needed to wait for the water level to go down naturally (evaporate). Being this pool has no water it seems to be an extension of yesterday’s dream. The freezer being open is symbolic of hidden, frozen emotion that is leaking out into the house. When I discuss with them the price of the home I feel they got an unfair deal. In that moment I think I could help them but I don’t.

I decide to leave (choice made). The car (life path) and the pills (avoidance) is hard to control. The pizza is wholeness and is being delivered to the house I am leaving. Then I am followed by people who I feel want to cause me harm (my fear of something unknown). I end up trapping myself out of fear. 

Considerations

My Team has been making themselves known. There are a lot of them, at least 12. I only get that much attention when I need it, usually when at a crossroads or crisis point. It seems that I may be approaching an exit point where I choose between continuing to play this game or quit. It may or may not mean I will leave this body and life. It could just be that this particular contract I took on has proved too much and I take another path. 

It appears that I am being asked to confront fears regarding this particular path/lesson. Why do I feel the two people pursuing me have ill intent? Maybe they are trying to tell me something important? Maybe they need my help? Maybe they want to share the pizza (wholeness) with me? lol I don’t stick around to find out and end up trapping myself. Ultimately I will have to confront the people (my fear) and learn what it has to teach me. Avoiding it will only delay the inevitable. 

Prior to bed last night I had a thought that seemed to be part of a conversation that I was not fully conscious of. The thought was that I did not want to die and leave behind my mom and three children. I would never do that to them. My mother would be devastated. My death would be too much. After a pause I heard my sister’s name and with it came memory of an OBE where my deceased father visited me. He didn’t come all that way for me. He came to make sure I would help my sister.

At this point I must still be in limbo because when I woke up I felt uneasy.

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Kundalini Dream: Navigating Dama

For the first time in a while I had meaningful dreams with messages and even some clarity. 

The first dream of the night involved me talking to a man who was severely depressed and disinterested in life. I remember encouraging him to do something with the time he has here and being very upbeat and positive. I asked, “Isn’t there anything you want to do with the time you have left?” I don’t remember him replying to any of my questions. In fact, he seemed to not even know I was there.

I woke suddenly around midnight feeling very energetically weird. I thought it might be my heart but when I checked my pulse it was steady. The feeling was very much like what I sometimes get when I return from an OBE too abruptly. It is energetic and hard to describe. I was able to return to sleep easily at least.

Dream: Navigating Dama

I remember talking to a woman throughout this dream. I never saw her, though. 

The space I occupied in the dream was dark. My best description would be that I was in a focusing area. The first thing I recall is communicating with my husband from this space. I could see him as if from a long distance (telepathy). He got very upset with me for interrupting him because he was working on a burial shroud for his brother. When I looked through his eyes I could see him creating the shoulders for it that resembled fabric wet with plaster. The response from my husband was harsh. Do not bother me now!  This is similar to how he often reacts to me in waking life when I’ve interrupted him when he’s working. I remember hearing certain words at this time. One word repeated: Requiem (a mass for the dead or Latin for “rest”). I watched a while curious about what he was doing but also recovering from his backlash. It hurt to be treated that way.

Eventually I left him alone. I turned towards a holographic-looking computer/phone screen and began to type into it as I spoke with the woman I couldn’t see but could hear in my mind. I typed two words with an “and” in between but kept mistyping the last word. Thus, it is the last word I remember. The word was “Dama” but I kept thinking I was misspelling it and it needed an “e” on the end. In other words, “Dame”. The app I had open was Navigator.

The woman and I were talking about my husband’s reaction and what it represented. I felt a lingering sadness and disappointment because it was clear to me that he would never be what I needed. I need a partner who puts me first, who thinks of me as “his person”, or the one he confides in and goes to for all his deeper emotional and spiritual needs/support. My husband, on the other hand, places me alongside everyone else. I am just one of many, often put second, third or fourth behind his many obligations towards the others in his life. He confides in everyone, seeking advice, sharing often personal and highly emotional aspects of our relationship and, thus, inviting others (via their input and more) into our relationship. To me, a partnership/relationship/marriage is not something one shares openly with others. It is holy, sacred, divine and private. 

I began to cry in the dream as we discussed my disappointment and grief. My husband and I have had many conversations about how I feel but he does not feel similarly. He doesn’t believe in placing any one person over another but feels all should be equal because he loves and admires everyone similarly. He does believe that a romantic partner shares the most intimate moments, but beyond that I feel like just another name on his long list of contacts.

As the discussion continued and I experienced the emotion of my grief, I began to feel a stirring in my root chakra that was beyond ignoring. The more we talked, the more intense the sensation. I have not felt such pleasure in a long time and then only via the Kundalini while in dream or altered (meditative) states. 

At one point I was able to ignore the feeling but at another I said to the woman, “I can’t [ignore it anymore]” and focused upon it. The more I focused the more intense it got but it never moved beyond the root. Instead, it sizzled there, fiery and fierce, while we continued to talk. This was when I was typing “Dama” specifically, which only later did I discover was significant.

My emotion got very high to the point of tears when I said to her, “I don’t want to do this.” She said, “You have to.” “This” felt to be a process; moving through my current situation rather than ignoring it. The specifics of “moving through” were not presented but I felt major dread and despair at just the thought of what lies ahead. It felt like whatever is coming is scary and difficult.

Interpretation and Significance

I woke, my eyes still wet from crying, and the intense energy still lingering in my root chakra. It was/is odd to me that I would feel such ecstasy while discussing such an emotional topic, one that is the opposite of pleasant. My guide was still close and asked me to consider why because she knows I know the answer already. The root activation was the result of the movement of previously stuck energy. However, there was also a lesson in feeling the energy, a lesson in restraint. 

Dama

One of the six virtues of a spiritual seeker. To have Dama means to have perfect alignment between your mind and your senses; self-restraint. In the dream I was typing “Dama” into the Navigator app – Navigating Dama.

In past instances of strong, lower chakra activation, I have had trouble not overly focusing on the sensations that arise because of how intensely pleasurable they are. In the dream I was successful for a time. I felt the pleasure but it remained in the background as I focused on the conversation I was having. However, it became difficult to ignore and I gave into it. The reminder in the dream was the word “Dama” being repeated.

Requiem

Song of death, death, to lay to rest. In this case, I am watching my husband construct a shroud for his brother. To me this symbolizes putting to rest my karmic connection with him – “my brother”. I recognize this in the dream and grieve. Though the full extent of this dream realization did not return with me as I woke, there remains a deep, unsettled feeling of “unfinished business” that I know must be tended to. 

Root Chakra

The root chakra has to do with feeling grounded, safe, at home in your body, and connected to the Earth. One of the areas of the body that it is connected to is the spine. When not in balance or blocked one of the physical manifestations is sciatica along with feeling disconnected, depressed, negative and cynical. I have been experiencing all of the above. Thankfully, my sciatica is feeling better again with it only being a very minor problem that is more bothersome than anything.

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Dream: Time to Refuel

Life continues to keep me busier than usual. Spring typically brings lots of “new” and it is in full swing here in Texas. My daughter just had her 14th birthday yesterday (yay!) – the same day as the full moon eclipse! This week is full of preparations for the end of the school year which is just eight school days away and hopefully very soon I will be in the office training a new AP Manager (yippie!) to take over the majority of my duties. Next week my husband is leaving for a nine day motorcycle road trip with his brother which coincides with the last week of school – class parties, 5th and 8th grade graduation (I have both this year) and a choir concert to boot. No rest for the weary, I guess!

In all my busyness I don’t get much time to just be. It is obvious that I need stop and b.r.e.a.t.h.e. Even my dreams say so!

Dream: Time to Refuel

I was at mom’s house. My brother was there but he looked young, around 12yrs. We were going out to eat, to breakfast I think since that was the kind of food I saw in my mind. We headed to my car, climbed in and left for town.

On the way my mom pointed to the car’s gauges and said, “Looks like you’ll need to stop and get gas”. I looked at the fuel gauge and at first thought it showed full but upon closer inspection saw it was indeed at empty. For some reason “empty” was interpreted as “completely full” in my mind. I told her that it shouldn’t need gas based upon when I last filled it. I also said, “I haven’t driven it much. Someone must’ve siphoned gas from it”. I was confused, looking back in my memory for trips I’ve taken to try and make sense of the information. The only thing that made sense was that someone stole the gas, especially since stealing gas has been common lately with the high gas prices.

I recall the road I drove on was curvy and it was dark outside. The sense was that it was not close to dawn but closer to midnight.

Then we were in a hotel room in a large bed. My mom and brother were on my right. I was laying on my back feeling very relaxed and easily drifting off.

This is when the dream became more lucid. I could feel my body, how heavy and relaxed it was. I could feel how I was positioned – on my back, arms by my side, legs straight. I was so relaxed I could feel my jaw release and my mouth open. As I lay there, an energy swept over me that was familiar. It came with a slight sensation of falling. The energy moved through me in waves from feet to head and then head to feet. It was a wonderful, relaxed feeling and one I was keen to continue to fall deeper into.

This is when I felt someone lightly touching my legs. The sensation of touch went slowly up from my ankle towards my hips; sensual message. It felt wonderful and I relaxed into it. When I tried to sense who it was, there was no one there.

As I began to recognize I was likely in that in-between state where I could shift OOB, I heard voices to my right. My brother had woken way too early and was climbing around, talking and full of energy. I ignored it and focused back on the wonderfully heavy feeling. Again, I could feel the sensual massage, this time originating near my hip and moving down my thigh. I felt a bit embarrassed as I felt the sensation go over my thigh but pushed the thought away. It didn’t matter. I sent mental encouragement to whomever was helping me, urging them to continue.

Then I was hit on the top of my head by something. Turning, I saw my brother climbing around, unable to stay still in his eagerness to embrace the new day. I sighed and heard my mom tell him to get out of the bed. “Go get ready”, she said. I remember complaining. “It’s too early to wake up. It’s 5am.”

I focused my attention back on the heavy energy, encouraging it to return. It did but every time I focused on relaxing, the dream would interrupt – a voice, a bump, a distraction of some sort. In fact, noises from my own home began to intrude – our dog barked, my boys talking, the sound of footsteps.

When I finally woke up, I was laying in my own bed just as I had been laying in the dream. My mouth was extremely dry from being wide open for so long. I rarely sleep like that!

Considerations

I lingered in bed as long as I could. I didn’t want to get up and leave the warm, heaviness of slumber. I heard my guidance and said, “I want to sleep forever.” In our conversation I mentioned not wanting to deal with the events of the coming day. I had no interest. Sleep was so much better. My guidance reminded me of how fleeting my time here is and that “sleep”, which I so loved, would also end with this life. I saw he had a point and acknowledged it.

The dream symbolism seems to indicate that I am feeling “empty” but not really acknowledging the fact. Instead, I interpret the fuel tank as completely full. My mom (my wiser, maternal self) has to remind me I need to fill up.

Hotels are symbolic of shifts in personal identity; a new state of mind. It’s an indicator that I need to move away from old habits and ways of thinking. It may also indicate that I am seeking a reprieve from my normal, daily life. The interruption by my brother is representative of the interruptions of life. My children and responsibilities towards them come to mind.

The sensual massage was likely my desire to relax and enjoy being touched. One of my favorite ways to relax is through touch. Regular massage is good for easing aches and pains, but sensual massage is much more relaxing IMO. When I was a small girl my grandmother would often help me relax by lightly stroking my spine up and down. I would immediately settle.

The overall message seems to be that I need to pay attention and move away from the old into “the new”. At the very least it could indicate that I should go on another vacation. 🙂

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Letter to Myself

March 6 – Message: The Outlet Can’t Handle the Load

I dreamed I was being counseled by a woman. There are flashes of memory in which I encountered people in my life who I no longer have contact with both living and dead. I vaguely recall seeing my friend’s deceased father and her brother, but I vividly recall seeing my ex-husband and the feelings I had resulted in tears. It seemed like I was grieving the past, specifically that I did not show love as often as I should and my regret about that. There was also a sense that everything in my past didn’t matter; that it was just a waste of my time and energy. 

The woman who was counseling me asked me to write myself a letter. She gave me an example, reciting her own letter to herself. The sense was that in the not too distant future I will be very different and the letter will help me to recognize the changes in myself. 

All this discussion happened amidst a dream taking place in the background that would occasionally shift to the foreground. In the dream I was inside an RV helping clean (healing) up the space. I grabbed a hand-held vacuum and joined a man who had a larger one. I focused on what looked like tiny worms (regrets) the size of a grain of rice that appeared to be dead (in the past). When I began to vacuum the power suddenly dropped and the suction stopped. I turned and noticed three other people vacuuming. The man next to told me I needed to stop cleaning and let them finish for me. His said, “The outlet can’t handle the load“. I also remember hearing “44 watts” was the max load. I took this to mean I stopped “cleaning” (participating in the healing work) at the age of 44. Now I need to let them (my guides) do the work for me.

Letter to Myself

When I woke, I remember hearing, “2025” and I felt disappointed and frustrated. The message I got was that it was not long but to me, three years feels like an eternity. I am so tired of waiting. I’m bored and disinterested in life. I told my guidance that I didn’t like this place or experience and the torture of all this waiting. I wondered if there was any way to not feel like this or is it just my burden to bear in this life? They told me they could help and I got a sense of how – an unexpected, exciting invitation – and I replied with, “But it never lasts and I am back to waiting so quickly.” It does seem that way – a never-ending game of waiting.

Since I was advised to write myself a letter, I guess I will.

Dear Future Me,

I hope you have gotten where you wished to go in life and that you are finally feeling fulfilled and interested. 

You deserve it. 

Life is short. Take advantage of each moment, each tiny opportunity, while you can because it will be in the past before you know it. 

It is not your fault. Remember that.

Focus on what you love and disregard the rest. It is a waste of your time and energy.

Love,

Me

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Lucid to OBE: Surgery

Had a surprising OBE last night that was quite long.

Lucid to OBE

The dream started in my grandparent’s underground house. I was watching my SIL and husband play a game. It was quite dark and so I assumed it was night. I remember looking around the kitchen and recognizing evidence of my uncle living there (which he does now that they have passed). There was some odd things that I questioned like a fountain on the table and a faucet on the kitchen sink that I couldn’t operate very well. 

When I turned back toward the living room I saw my SIL and asked her about the game she was playing. I remember she and my husband had been handling blue objects and moving them very fast in their hands. It was a mathematical concentration game. This triggered my lucidity and I thought, “This is a dream.” I felt myself shift as my awareness went to my body temporarily.

Without hesitating, I immediately took control of the dream and headed toward the front entry to go outside. When I exited the house, I flew up into the air and felt pulled upward at great speed. With this I began to sing at the top of my lungs and through my singing controlled the experience and maintained a high vibration. I didn’t want to go up too high so stopped myself and looked down in awe at what was around me. I could see stars everywhere but also the Earth below.

I lowered myself down and flew among some buildings that suddenly appeared in the field in front of the house. I watched them morph and change with my thoughts and got much pleasure in this. 

Then I was standing in front of two young girls. I had a small, sharp instrument in my hands that looked like a letter opener. I can’t recall what I was singing but I know it created the scene. I wondered what it would be like to cut the throat of one of the girls. One came up to me and said, “Go ahead. Try it.” So I slit her throat and the sensation of it was like slicing through butter but with a bit more resistance. She didn’t bleed but her throat was cut, the flesh hanging from her neck and colored red inside. She laughed and complimented me. I said it felt different than I thought and asked to try again. The other girl came up and I went behind her like in the movies and slit her throat as well. Again, it was an interesting sensation and much easier than I thought it would be. 

The two girls stood there, throats cut and smiling, seeming very real, talking and completely fine. I motioned to the overweight one and said I wanted to see her insides. She lay down and I cut her like a doctor would, straight from her sternum to her belly button. I saw inside and she put her hand on her beating heart, suggesting I should take it out. I thought about it, reached toward it and then changed my mind. I was not interested in doing that and lost all interest in playing “doctor” after that. I’m not sure why I changed my mind, but seeing her heart like that seemed to trigger disinterest. 

I lifted up into the sky and felt myself pulled upward so fast that I ended up in space again surrounded by stars. This time I lingered amidst the stars and began to sing words inviting specific people to meet me there. I noticed metal high wires stretched above and below me forming a kind of safety “cage” that I entered from above. I was most definitely talking/singing to someone I felt was with me as I received answers to my requests. No, neither person was present nor could they be called to join me at that time. 

There is faint memory of others around me. I want to say they were female and dressed in pastel ballerina attire reminding me of fairies bouncing around me. Whoever they were, they felt to be there to support me but always stayed just out of my direct line of sight. Magical, mystical Beings of love and Light.

Since my requests were not granted, I finally asked if I could at least be given someone to assist me in igniting the Kundalini energy. A man appeared in front of me. He was unfamiliar but I felt comfortable with him/his energy. He was young, maybe mid-thirties, with dark hair and medium skin tone. He was smiling but said nothing.

When I saw him my root chakra lit up and began to swirl with energy. I could feel it about to surge upward but before it could, I shifted back into my body where a nice energy was swirling throughout my body. 

I lingered in the energy for a while, shifting in and out of the in-between while a guide spoke to me in images and words. I saw a paper with words printed on it. A section was circled in red ink that said, “Tell me what you would like to know.” Pleased to have the opportunity to request information and knowing the state I was in was ideal for accurate reception of the info, I asked some questions and received answers. Some were not the answers I wanted, such as, “You will see”, but some were immediate and clear. 

Of course now I wish I had asked different questions, but there isn’t much I can do about that now. lol

There was a strong vibration that remained with me for some time after waking that was hard to resist. It pulled me back into the in-between time and time again. Much is lost to me now and I am not going to try and recover the info I received because I Know it already even if I cannot access it or put it into words at this present time. 

Interpretation

The first part of the experience – the dream part – seems to have been me witnessing the “game” being played by some of my family. It is the mental and logical manipulation of the physical realms. This feels very true to me in the sense that my family is very much caught up in the illusion and enjoys playing the game. I tend to stand back and observe them. 

The cutting throats part is very odd to me. Why did I create such a scenario? What was the purpose? It felt like I was just curious. Symbolically it could mean that I am removing obstacles that are keeping me from communicating. The dream characters are allowing me to express myself, my frustrations perhaps, and the end result is I am intrigued by how it felt and how easy it was – like cutting through butter. 

The cutting the person as if performing exploratory surgery is also strange. Initially I remember being curious about how much fat would be visible from the inside (she was slightly overweight). For some reason seeing her heart made me stop. Perhaps the girls represented me and I was seeking insight into something about myself?

The rest of the dream appears to have just been me seeking the K energy. The wires feel to be some kind of protection. The fairies are likely symbolic of my inner child and a feeling of magic and creativity.