Daily Archives: June 13, 2015

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The Unfolding: Message from the Peiadian High Council

Against the night there is a shuddering, a violent explosion of intent from which you have surfaced feeling a bit shaky and alone. You forget where you came from in this moment but within yourself you find remnants remain of that which you left behind. Your true Divinity flowers then from within, bursting from your heart space and opening up your human eyes to things which had previously been hidden from view. This is the unfolding of You; the taking of your rightful place in this Earthly life. You have been waiting for so long for this moment and it is now yours in all its glory. Awaken and rise up to take on this mission you have come to fulfill. It is a beautiful unfolding and we are pleased you have made it this far. We will wait for your next momentous leap, not far in the future. Until then, practice walking on your new shaky legs. Gain your footing and your stability. Move into wholeness and throw off uncertainty of purpose and any lack that remains from the fears that have been following you throughout this lifetime. It is you, all of it, but some of it need not be a hindrance. Toss it off and carry only what you need for this work is hard and tedious and thankless. We are grateful to have you in service again. Pleased are we that have supported you in this endeavor. Much love and togetherness is felt with each new step you take in the direction of the Light. Thank you. Bless you. Be You.

It is with a full heart that I typed this message from my Council. I do not fully understand it but I am beginning to feel different for lack of a better word. These last few days I have been wrought with such grief and confusion. There has been an intense struggle within going on. There are no words with which to try and describe it. No sense can be made of it. It is like a part of me put up a fight and lost. I know I am far from “there” yet, but there is a peace in knowing that I am past the point of no return.

I recognize now that I am integrating the Old more and more every day. I see her differently. I am not her anymore. She is something I created to withstand the hurt and pain of life here on Earth. She is the forgotten me, the me I left here while I focused on other things. I feel sympathy for her. I love her but she needs to find peace now. There is nothing so difficult as to welcome back a piece of yourself that you left behind. There is no memory in this other part. She Forgot so much and it is painful for her to Remember. So also is it painful for me.

What an odd feeling. I wish I could relate it better. Sorry.

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Dream: Soiled Wedding Gown

I again had a night full of vivid dreams. This time there was a theme. In several of my dreams I was either looking into a toilet or sitting on one and each time there was feces in it that was not mine. Yuck! Both times the feces would not flush even though the water would drain and new water would fill up the toilet.

Soiled Wedding Gown

In this particular dream I was hiding inside a bathroom stall. I say hiding but I am not sure I was doing that, but it felt like I was trying to stay unnoticed. I was sitting on the toilet, preparing to use it, when my dress got into the toilet water. I pulled up on the dress and saw that the white lace had been splattered with tan colored feces.

Grossed out, I attempted to clean it off by using the toilet water but saw that it was full of a very large turd. It was not mine and I did not want it there so I flushed the toilet. The poop remained as if stuck to the bottom of the toilet and I flushed it again. With the second flush, it went down the drain and clean water remained. I used it to clean up the dress but the spots would not completely wash out. I remember thinking, “Oh well, no one will notice”.

I then noticed my baby had found me and this caused me some upset as I wanted to be alone and there he was in my private space!. So, I got up to leave but saw that the entire silk underskirt of the dress had gotten into the water. Thankfully it was the clean water so I just squeezed out the water and went on my way. I remember thinking my dress was ruined but then reconsidering as everything that had been soiled on the dress was from either underneath or at the end of the train.

Interpretation

I awoke from this dream in the midst of an argument between my Ego self and my guide. This part of me was adamantly against the instructions we had recently received. My guide was asking me to listen to my heart and I fell into this space with ease and was immediately calm and knowing. The Ego self got quiet all at once and I understood the dream and the reason for her upset.

The wedding dress was an assessment of a personal relationship, in this case most likely my relationship with my family. The feces indicates areas of my life which I find repulsive and reject. I understand now that I was being shown these areas are still “soiled” and my reaction is that they are not a big deal in comparison to other issues I have had in the past.

The upset in this case was that my instructions are to remain where I am in life and continue to focus on my family while expanding myself spiritually. There was no other work to be done, no specific or exciting projects forthcoming and no relief from the daily grind of life that my Ego self was hoping to have.

It was then that I was taken to a place quite unexpectedly. Standing next to my guide I saw a lush green valley spread out in front and below me.  A river was winding toward the horizon where the sun was low in the sky and there was such magnificent colors that I thought it must be a painting I was in.

My guide said, “Do you see that river?”

I nodded, “Yes”.

He said, “That is your life, your path”.

I looked closer at the river. It was shallow with various higher areas of green grass in between dozens of channels. It appeared almost like a path with various roads which would diverge only to meet up again and then diverge again. There were many, many paths and I knew they were all possible routes I could take.alaska

So many options.

I understood then what he was showing me.

“It is easy”, I said to him. “The river is shallow enough to wade through”.

“Yes”, he confirmed.

“And I can choose to go any route I choose”, I said as I pointed to the paths the river took.

I remembered then my plan prior to this life which was to assist with the ascension. My job is to help others find their way. I do this through my writing and the relationships I have in my day-to-day life. My counseling came into my mind as did my relationship with my children.

I saw then that the other paths were mine to choose. They were not pre-planned. I could do whatever I wanted with the rest of my life. I could fill that time however I chose.

So much possibility but I did not know what I wanted to do. I wish I had planned these paths before coming.

“Whatever path you choose will be the right one. They are all part of your path”, my guide reminded me.

The Ego self wanted more, though. She wanted something grander. She wanted to scream to the world of her gifts, of her “specialness”. To set herself apart from the crowd. But to do that would destroy my purpose completely.

I then understood that I had to blend in; to do my work without being noticed or praised for it. To walk in my human shoes as a human does but with a knowingness of my origins and my purpose tucked inside my pockets.

It is probably the hardest life one could choose to live. It is the ultimate in humility and servitude.

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OBEs: Body Troubles

After a night of intense dreams and the typical wake-up for my briefing this morning at 5am, I fell into the in-between where my guide and I conversed for some time. I heard my guide say to me, “You can go anywhere you want, whenever you want”. In hearing that, I attempted to launch myself out of my body in one giant leap only to find my exit was blocked by the body. It was like a tall, impenetrable, invisible wall. I wanted out!

Observing Another Me

I then found myself watching a scene play out in front of me. I was the main character but I was not in the body experiencing myself as the character but rather above and to the side as an observer. The man who was me was in the midst of a lucid dream in which he had just recently awakened. He was standing next to a woman who was his wife I think and she was the typical dream dummy – blank face, zombie-like expression and slow-motion, puppet-like actions. There was a child as well, but the focus here was on the woman. He was trying to get her attention but she did not respond to him.

Then, suddenly, she had in her hand a pistol. It was a pretend pistol, though, and looked like one of the child’s toys. She took it and shot herself in the left hand, right in the center of the palm. She then took her hand and held it up high. Blood was pouring out of the wound. She took her hand and put it in the face of the man.

The man was confused. Why did she do this?

As if his question were being answered, the woman suddenly had in her other hand a folded up note. She began to hand it to the man.

As the observer, I suddenly was very interested in this note. I wanted to know what it said!

I pulled my energy in towards me, like summoning it from beyond myself into my center. I then rolled to my right and off the bed.

I had instant, clear vision. The colors were golden and the room and its contents seemed to spin around me. Or was that me spinning? I could feel people there with me, but could not look at them because of it.

There was a feeling that I was not OOB. “This is real”, I thought. I then bumped into the corner of a table. It felt solid and the impact on my hip caused me to pull back from the sting of it. Still spinning with the bright light flooding my eyes, I felt a bit disoriented.

“No, I am OOB”, I thought, “but this sure does feel real!”

I immediately headed out of the room as fast as I could. I felt rushed, as if I had something important to do.

I then became aware of a strange sensation. I felt a part of myself trying to break off. I wanted free of it but it would not budge. Instead, I felt wracked by intense, sporadic vibrations that threw me into more of a tailspin and made my vision begin to fade out. Then, I could not breathe and began to gasp for air. I felt my physical body very acutely at this time but was also very much aware of my being out of it. I was literally split and there was a distinct dislike for my physical body and a resistance to it.

Body Troubles

I came back into my body and took a deep breath, still feeling a constriction in my throat area. I noticed my throat hurt but I didn’t care. I also felt odd sensations in the lower three chakras, like they were breaking apart. There was a deep aching in my second and solar plexus.

I wanted to go out again.

With the thought, I waited for a bit and then, as if knowing the right time, I rolled backward again, right out of my bed and my body.

This time I had no vision and I felt something wrapped around my neck. It felt to be my blanket and it coiled up tightly around my throat. Since I only had mental vision, I pulled myself hard against the blanket in an attempt to free myself from it. I requested clarity to try and gain some stability (should have asked for stability), but nothing happened. I had to free myself from this blanket!

I walked around the front of the bed and pulled the blanket over my head. It released and I tossed the blanket on the bed and headed toward the door. Again I asked for clarity, but something didn’t feel right. The vibrations were again wracking my body and I felt to be spinning and standing still at the same time.

With that I began to again feel desperate for air. I knew it was my physical body doing this to me and so I tried to get away from it so its hold on me would be less. Unfortunately, the body took a huge gasp for breath and this pulled me back into it.

Realization

Back in my body, I wanted to make another attempt but felt there was something I needed to know. So, I changed positions and swallowed hard, noting my dry and sore throat.

I thought back on the experiences and wondered why I felt such strange spinning and shaking.

Then it hit me: It was my etheric body that was causing the crazy shaking. I was attempting to drop it, to throw it off and be free of it. The sensations fit. I felt like a snake shedding its skin and finding it won’t come all the way off. So it stuck to me and pulled on me, shaking me and disrupting my progression.

In my past OBEs I have never had such a feeling. I would just move into the next level, the astral, without issue. However, this was more of me throwing off this lower body rather than moving into the next. It felt like I was trying to dissolve it altogether. Is that even possible?