Category Archives: Uncategorized

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Dream: Crustacean Fruit

I didn’t have many dreams last night. This is the only one I remember.

Dream: Crustacean Fruit

I was sitting in class with several other adults. I saw a man that was very attractive and watched him for a while. He and a friend were discussing a young woman with red hair. The man I was watching decided he would talk to her. I was disappointed and began comparing myself to the other women in the classroom. They all seemed so much younger than me. What was I doing in school anyway?

Then the man was coming to stay at my house. I remember being very nervous and tidying up the bathroom. When I opened the bathroom drawers to put away clutter I found my husband’s clothing stuffed inside. It was embarrassing to me. The man didn’t care, he was preparing to take a shower and talking about a trip. I remember he was short compared to my husband.

Then I was sitting with the same man. He handed me a large papaya fruit as he talked to me about his travels to South America, specifically Peru and Brazil. I remember discussing with him the energy of the area and how it was an area that needed attention at this time. I had never been there and was not interested in traveling there. I was interested in traveling to Australia. The man had never been there.

I took a bite of the papaya I had been given. It was fleshy and sweet. I asked, “What kind of fruit is this?” The man took it from me and then said, “You have to rip out the legs first” and took hold of some shrimp-like legs and ripped them out. I got grossed out then because the area I had taken the bite from had been where the creature’s head would have been.

Interpretation

I believe the first part of the dream pertains to me becoming distracted from my life lessons (class) temporarily. This distraction brought up an issue that I needed to inspect, thus the trip to the bathroom. Bathrooms indicate renewal or emotional release is needed. In this case such emotion release is related to my husband since his things were in all the drawers of the bathroom. The discussion about parts of the world is likely to represent my gridwork. This part of the dream was very vivid compared to the rest. The last part about the papaya fruit turning into a crustacean indicates that something sweet (fruit), in this case a healthy sex drive (papaya), brought up feelings of powerlessness and insignificance (crustacean).

 

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Dream: Landslide and Barbie House

Yesterday was a wild day in many ways. I went to sleep very distraught for personal reasons I will not go into detail about on here. Let’s just say sometimes life really sticks it to you and I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I planned it.

Dream: Landslide

I was walking along a mountain road with a male friend whom I knew and trusted. I cannot remember his face now, just features and a warm, reassuring energy.

It became very obvious to me that I was completely naked as I walked this road. It didn’t bother me at all. In fact, it seemed that was how I was suppose to be – baring my all to the world.

As we walked we came to a landslide that was blocking the path upward. I remember feeling very, very sad as I climbed barefoot over large boulders and rocks with sharp edges. My friend was encouraging and so sympathetic that I am surprised I didn’t start to cry. I recall others also climbing over the debris. I suppose they also were confronting life in a similar way as myself otherwise why else would they be there?

Dream: Barbie House

After climbing over the rocks the path spread out into a field and I met up with a small group of people to debrief. It was dark outside and I could see the night sky. When we were done I went in search of a shower and I saw it was quite a distance away. I sprinted for it, feeling free in my nakedness and having energy beyond what I typically have in my waking life. I felt young and beautiful, too, and was proud of my appearance.

I took a shower and recall my friend talking to me as I did but of course I don’t remember what he said to me. When I exited the shower I sought out my deodorant and clothes but was instructed to look at where I was staying. So I took a look and saw what resembled a life-size section of a dollhouse. I got a tour of it and was shown a room with a bed, tall wardrobe and a small crib for a baby. I inspected the crib area noting it was made completely of plastic. I then looked at my bed but did not want to get into it.

Looking back on the dream, I recall knowing that my body was almost too perfect – like Barbie, which is why I called the dream Barbie House. When I was getting the tour of the house I remember hearing, “You have everything you ever wanted in life (with this I saw the typical American Dream scenario), aren’t you happy with it?”

Interpretation

When I awoke it was 4:30am and I was extremely sad and upset. I knew that the landslide dream was about the previous day’s events and I how I ended up feeling as if my life were crumbling down around me. My nakedness represented how I completely “exposed” myself. The shower was likely a representation of healing, though I felt anything but healed when I awoke.

The dollhouse dream was perhaps the most eye-opening for me. Not only was I being shown how picture perfect my life is but also how manufactured it is. We are taught that the ultimate goal of life is to get married, have kids, live in a house in the suburbs, and live happily-ever-after. But then what? What comes after “happily-ever-after”? The lack of fulfillment that comes with falling into the prefabricated middle-class, American dream creates a trap that is difficult to escape. How does anyone pretend to be happy with such a life? It is so empty.

I cried for a while, asking for help and healing. I fell into a dreamless sleep and when I awoke I felt calm and reassured. I have no idea what commenced but thankfully I no longer felt so hopeless.

 

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Dream: Selling a House

My sleep was interrupted again. This time without sudden seemingly inserted memories appearing. 🙂

Dream: Selling a House

I was talking with some people about my future and the idea I had about selling my house. Oddly, I mentioned that we owned another property that we never lived in. I pointed across a very large lake to a house on the other side. It was small and near the shore.

Then I was inside the house cleaning it and preparing it to sell. I had not been inside for a whole year and there was a thin layer of dust settled over everything. As I talked with my friend I noted a presence and stopped in my tracks. I spoke to the presence, knowing Spirit was there. A man materialized in front of me and began to talk to me.

He was an older gentleman and gave me his name. I repeated back, making a joke,”Leprechaun” and he corrected me, “No Archeon”. I remember repeating it and thinking it sounded familiar. Eventually I just called him Frank. lol

Frank and I talked for a while as I tried to get him to leave the house. He said he last remembered being alive in 1988. Then a young teenage girl was there with him and he called her his daughter. I remember helping them settle a disagreement. Ultimately, Frank was freed from whatever held him in the house. In the end, a section of the house exploded open and a large bulldozer flew out of it and into the lake.

Then I was sitting at a table with my husband and my realtor. We had in front of us the blueprints of our current home. The realtor asked, “Why do you want to sell it?” I told him, “It’s way too big”.

Interpretation

When I awoke I felt very strange and was still lying in the same position I had fallen asleep in. Several of my assistants were with me as was my Companion. I felt that I had been in deep contemplative discussions with them all about my present situation. My dream represented the topic of this discussion.

A haunted house represents unfinished emotional business that needs tending to. Based upon what occurred in the house, I successfully “cleared” it of the haunting by working through the issues with the resident ghost. The year 1988 must be significant here as is the word Archeon – though I am not sure what exactly an Archeon is. It is most closely related to Archon, which is the name given to the parasitic Dark forces that have controlled Earth for hundreds of thousands of years.

In the end I had decided to sell the current house I live in. Houses themselves represent one’s own soul and Self. The feeling I had when I awoke was that a part of me is ready to move on and is eager to do so.

I am not sure what the year 1988 means. I was very young at that time in this life but when I awoke I was initially stuck on that date and it took me a while to realign myself with present time. Even stranger is that I also kept thinking about a walk-in associated with that date which further confused me.

Edit: I just remembered something else. When I woke up, my body felt wooden and I could taste wood in my mouth. I have had this feeling before when channeling Spirit and also when OOB going through a wooden object. I literally feel like I am composed of wood! This morning it lingered for a while after I woke up. It is a very odd feeling! The only thing I can figure is that it represents lack of emotion or a stiffness of emotion.

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Through the Porticus

When I awoke this morning at 5am I was wide awake but I did not want to be. Upset, I immediately pleaded with my Companion to allow me to return to sleep and astral project. I was told very sternly, “No”. 😦

As I lay there I felt disappointed because it seemed my instructions from the night were to go about my normal, day-to-day life. To expect no further noticeable adjustments for some time. It was time for rest.

I didn’t like hearing this and began to try and figure out what I would do with myself during this rest period. I was interrupted mid-thought with the message, “What does your heart tell you?” So I settled in there, knowing already what I would find – an intense urge to drop everything and leave. Finding exactly that, I yelled at my Companion, “Every time I go there I want to leave!  I don’t want to leave!”

Somehow I managed to return to sleep. I suspect I was lulled to sleep since the last thing I remember was being told to focus on my heart again.

Dream: Symbols Game

I found myself inside a large, warehouse-like place with various concrete walled rooms. I was with some people I know in real life who I never would have met had I not been married to my husband. I don’t much like most of them so you can imagine how the dream went. lol

Eventually, after following these people around for a while I got upset and told them I was going to go to the gym to workout. In fact, working out was all I could think about the whole time. They kept trying to keep me from doing that, though. Eventually, I turned to leave one last time and noticed there was a fresh wound on my left calf. I recalled instantly that the woman I was talking to had cut a design into my leg with a knife. I got upset with her for it but was confused as to why she had carved a strange symbol into my leg.

The next thing I recall was sitting at a table in my own living room. There were three women with me and one was holding a book and giving instructions on how to use it. She passed out small, cards about 2×2 inches square. Each card had a symbol on it. The game we were to play was about choosing an option to take with our significant other. She instructed us to choose between two, but all I recall now is hearing her mention they were called “do” cards which I interpreted as decision cards. The one that stood out to me looked like the Aum symbol. All of them resembled familiar symbols I have seen associated with yoga.

At that point I had had enough. I stood up and left. I refused to play their game.

aum

Through the Porticus

This is when it got weird.

I was transported instantly to somewhere else. I was there with a massively large Being. He was about twice my height (at least 9ft) and we were hovering together inside a very large spacecraft. To my left was a huge window that was about four times my height and domed. It came up and over the tops of our heads. To my right was all gray metal. I could not make out much because my entire attention was held by this tall Being I was with.

I couldn’t figure out how I had gotten there so was confused and had many questions. However, I could not ask them. It was like they were withheld from me; like I had a powerful energy or force stopping their formation. I was completely speechless/thoughtless.

My main emotion was nervousness. I felt like I had done something wrong and was being reprimanded. This was all I felt while I was in the presence of this Being. Yet he was not scary, just commanding. I had great respect and reverence for him, very much like a small child has for a parent.

Now for the Being. I have never seen anything like him. I saw his entire body from head to toe. He was wearing a very strange uniform, or maybe costume is a better word. It reminded me of a Genie suit – puffy arms and legs that tapered down around the hands and feet. The color was a bright blue and there was an accent color that I can’t remember now. What was very distinct was the huge collar that came up around the face of this Being. It was white and stood straight up and seemed almost to act as a shield to the face. In fact, I had trouble seeing the Being’s face because of it. But I did see it.

The face looked human but with shimmery skin, like he was reflective but that is not quite right. He was strangely foreign looking in a way that is difficult to describe. Elf-like is the closest I can come to a match. He had vividly blue eyes and white-blonde hair that was pulled up into a tight ponytail that was centered on the top of his head. His hair was longer than mine!

He was beautiful.

I was still nervous, though. He was reminding me of why I came here and to “stay focused”. I had been dilly-dallying, “not paying attention” and allowing Earth-activities to “distract me”.

He pointed out the large window, which he called a “porticus”. There was a planet below us that resembled Earth. It was massive and bright and so beautiful. I also saw millions of stars twinkling around us. There was no doubt we were in space.

He instructed me to go through the porticus, but I don’t remember hearing any words. It was like I just knew this is where I was to go. He came with me and we just went through what I thought was a solid window. He told me to allow the planet to pull me toward it. It was not gravity that he called it but something else, something akin to an energy field.

As we descended I saw these strange satellites that had what resembled cameras on the end. These cameras tracked us as we got closer. I saw at least three and they looked like something from a Sci-Fi film – robot-like, dark metal with large, dark, shiny “eyes” or lenses at the end of a long central arm. I remember asking about them and being told they would alert those on the ground to our approach. I assumed this meant they were some kind of early detection system. But were these around Earth??

I then heard a loud ringing sound and figured it was one of the devices sending the alert. I saw the one closest to use turn its eye toward the planet prior to hearing the sound. I have never heard anything like it. There is nothing to compare it to.

Then I was on the ground standing next to the Being but he was now just a little taller than me. Did I grow or did he shrink? He was also wearing different clothing – a white tunic with gold embroidered trim. He was almost all white and the tunic flowed down to his knees. And I Remembered him then! I saw him in an OBE!!

We descended a long stairway. My memory of this place screams to me that we were not on Earth. No way! Or else we were in another Earth, one not of this dimension and time. The sky was blue and it very much resembled Earth but where we were was fantastically grand. The steps we descended were white and spread for hundreds of yards on either side of us. The place we came out of, though it was behind me, was like a grand temple with massive columns reminiscent of Greece.

At the bottom of the stairs we stopped and he stood in front of me. A woman with dark hair just appeared to my right. She seemed to materialize. I have no idea where she came from but I knew who she was and we greeted one another telepathically. The Being who was with me could not communicate with her, though. It was like there was a block and I understood that she could not see him either.  So he asked me to relay messages between us. I didn’t understand this but did as I was asked. She was reporting back to me but I don’t remember what she said now, just that we were exchanging information from our separate journeys.

shipMessages

I woke with a start completely confused and demanding to know what I just experienced.

“That was not a dream! I was dreaming and then I wasn’t! And who….what the hell are you!??” (lol I laugh now because I was completely not expecting what had happened). My memory of the Being was muddled. I remember him looking very, very alien and distorted which confused me.

Then came the massively HUGE energy and I heard again, “Lord Commander Sananda”. I was not wanting to hear that, but he kept sending that and so what could I do but accept it?

Then I wanted to know what he was – was he human? Was he Andromedan? Pleiadian? I got no response other than him asking me, “How did you feel?” What?

So I settled into my heart and the memory of what had just happened and knew he was who he said he was and that I had just “checked-in” at his request because of my refusal to accept the memory of who I am and why I am here. Ha! You try and do this, you would be resistant, too!

I knew the Being I saw was Pleiadian in appearance. I also knew the planet we visited was not Earth. It was spectacular! Also, he was wearing a space suit of some kind. There was something over his face that was nearly imperceptible. Like a shield or helmet that was invisible.

Then he just kept talking to me.

“You cannot project. You must remain anchored.” To this I responded that I did not want to stay here. He explained, “This is the most difficult aspect of Remembering. The more you Remember, the less you want to stay. But you must remain.” No kidding!

With this message was a feeling of mild irritation on his part. I understood that he had been working with others facing the same dilemma. We live life after life in Forgetfulness and the more we Remember the less we want to stay because we know we are not Home and want to return there. Then there is the massive contrast between Earth life/energy and what we Remember. Who would want to stay? Not me!

He then told me, “Our fleet is positioned near the sun but will be moving towards Earth at a rate of …” I go blank here. What he said just did not register in my brain. I saw an image of the sun and this tiny spot that was literally so close that it looked like a part of the sun.

I asked, “I thought you were in Saturn’s rings?” He said, “That is another fleet”.

He then requested that I relay this information to others. He emphasized that I include his name – Lord Commander Sananda.

My Reaction

This is beyond bizarre to me. The experience I had of being off planet was/is the strangest to digest. I was in a dream and then I just wasn’t. When I woke it felt like the experience was just placed there. Like someone put it there but then it was so real! I just keep trying to put it together and my brain can’t do it. There is no explanation!

And Sananda, or whoever he is…holy shit he is amazing! Somewhat intimidating but amazing nonetheless. His face shimmered! Oh and he had this symbol between his eyes, where the third-eye is. It was silvery-white and looked like a diamond and had dotted lines outlining it!

 

 

 

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Dream: Getting My Driver’s License

With all the information I woke up with, I forgot to include the very vivid dream I had.

Dream: Getting My Driver’s License

The first part of this dream took place inside a very large but abandoned high school. I was with a man who was taking me through this school and then out of it. I remember being very playful and knowing I was OOB yet I did not become lucid! Very frustrating! The overall feeling was I was becoming acquainted with the past and moving into the future.

I was then taken across campus to a gathering place. I remember seeing large grass covered areas that spread between buildings and seeing young people of various ages (infant to teen and older). At one point I was talking to someone about their upcoming marriage as I was washing a thick, white paint off of my face. I knew I was married but when I looked to my side to find him (the man I had been with) he was an infant. I remember thinking it absurd to marry an infant!

Then I was talking with the man again. I was told, “You need to get your driver’s license now.” I thought about it and said, “That will be easy. I use to have one. I got it when I was 16.” Then I couldn’t figure out how old I was. I knew I had been 16 once but couldn’t remember when or what I looked like.  There was quite a bit of confusion as to who I was, where I was from, etc. Finally, I recognized I was older than I thought and I said, “All I have to do is renew it”.

Interpretation

When I woke a memory of the day before came to the surface.

Yesterday I had been feeling like my body was not right – there was too much trapped energy, too much tension. It needed to be released and I was instructed on how to do so. I knew that the body was not suppose to feel like this – that I was not suppose to feel like this! The feeling I had in my body was of a rigidness, one that tends to go along with the emotion of anxiety or upset. There was knowing that the human body could be so much more than it has been for me.

With this memory came an understanding that I was new to all this – to being in a body and managing the body. But I am not new…am I? Yet at that moment I knew I was and that I needed to re-learn the ropes.

So it seems that I my driver’s license is symbolic of learning how to use this body I occupy. I knew how to do it once but need a refresher. I believe the white makeup is symbolic of me taking off a mask I have been wearing to reveal another me, the true me. The marriage to the baby is perhaps marriage to a part of my Self that is new to this body, thus like an infant.

 

 

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Synchronicity in a Song

I have family visiting again. After a huge chaotic breakfast everyone left for yet another Christmas gift exchange – the 4th! I opted out. I was the only one. I am sure I will get chastised for it later. I don’t care.

Since I have once again been sloth-like and unmotivated, I decided to go to the gym and try to wake up my body. When I turned on the car a familiar song began to play. Some Nights by Fun. I had major deja vu and remembered the last time I had been in the car I had turned it off in the middle of this song…..at the exact point it was playing now. When I looked up at the clock it was 11:11am.

The Backstory

Just this past Wednesday, when I returned from the gym, I was feeling very high on life and sat in the car listening to music for a while after I arrived home. The song that actually kept me in the car was Heaven is a Place on Earth, a song I woke up hearing this morning and one I just recently posted.  When I heard the song that day I was so thrilled to hear it that I sang the whole thing through. I hadn’t heard it in ages yet I remembered every word. Hahaha!

After the song ended, Some Nights came on. Like I said, it is not really a song I like, but that day I decided to listen to it about halfway through and then shut off the car and went about my day.

So this morning, when Some Nights came on in the exact place I had turned it off a few days before and the clock said 11:11 I just kinda sat there with my mouth open. For a brief moment I wondered if I had even lived the past few days….lol Crazy time hiccup!

It seems like the message is, “Okay. Continue”. Like maybe I had been frozen in time these last few days, or maybe these last two weeks, and now I can move again, live again, be me again.

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Dreams: Missed Test and Egg Within an Egg

Yesterday turned out to be a very strange day. After the panic-inducing heart chakra intensity, I was hit with nausea and total exhaustion. I also had a strange sensation around my head that felt similar to my crown being very wide open except that there were vibrations with it. For a brief moment I thought I would spontaneously leave my body. So I waited it out – the nausea, dizziness, vibrations, and strange “off” feeling eventually settling. When it did settle, my heart chakra fire was completely gone and I felt a sudden sadness descend upon me.

My heart felt like an empty pit. No matter how much I focused on it, it remained unresponsive. However, it did not feel normal. It felt hollow, like someone had come and suffocated my heart center or tried to cover the energy with a blanket. I guess it could also be related to someone throwing water on a blazing fire.

The sadness soon turned into despair over my current situation. For some reason everything that was wrong with my life, specifically my family situation, was uncomfortably obvious. My Companion would not leave me alone about it, either, and I was not liking the questions he was asking me. I have often described my Companion as being my own personal shrink, one that there is no escaping. Sometime his persistent questions and nudging can be excruciatingly annoying. Like a personal hell. This was the case last night.

Dream: Missed Test

I had a dream that woke me at 3am. In the dream I was in a car with someone discussing school. I could see that we were traveling down a street with golden colored buildings that resembled a college campus except the buildings were smaller, more like houses. We stopped at a mailbox while the man informed me of my current progress towards my degree. He mentioned that I had been lax in my studies and had been skipping classes. There were only two more classes until I finished.

A large, gray mailbox was opened. Inside were 8 smaller mailboxes. These were the mailboxes of the students in my class. Inside each mailbox were 8 cards. On the envelopes were congratulatory messages and I knew that the comments inside the cards related to a successful score on a recent test.

I had forgotten about the test and this was the main reason I was with the man discussing my progress. The test was on the 24th and my score was not among the mailboxes because I had missed the test. I felt that I had failed it but the feeling I got was that I could still make it up.

When I awoke I was protesting. To make a long story short, I am being asked to let go of situations and relationships in my life that are not complimentary to my mission. My human mind perceives this as a threat and is reacting accordingly. I am completely refusing to do anything I am being asked to do because to do so means a complete disruption of my life. In essence, it means a complete new start. How can they ask me to do something like that? It is horrifying! This is the test I missed. I know now why I missed it. I will no doubt fail it miserably.

Dream: Egg Within an Egg

I somehow fell back to sleep. This time I was with two men and they were talking about time travel. Dr. Who was mentioned but not present. When Dr. Who is in my dream it usually indicates I am receiving healing.

The two men were discussing how to use a clothes dryer as a portal to another time. I saw the open dryer, the light very bright, but did not want to go inside. I never did go inside.

It was then that someone took me to the side and showed me a very, very large egg. It was the size of a person. It was cracked open and inside was the yolk of a normal sized egg. It was an egg within an egg. I was asked to look at it. The golden yolk was the last thing I remember before waking.

When I woke I had a very long talk with my Companion. And I continued to reject what I am suppose to do. I got very sad again and he again pointed it out to me by saying, “You are sad. You are lonely. You don’t have to be this way”. While we were talking about the upset this change would cause to my life he showed me an onion and I watched as layers and layers were being removed by some unseen person. He said to me, “Sometimes even the onion cries”.

Heart Hurt

This morning the heart energy is back but this time it seems to hurt. There is an extreme loss feeling with it but it is again wide open. My lower back hurts and I am restless again. I don’t want to be in my own home. I have an urge to go on a long vacation – alone. We have a family trip in January and I want to cancel it or find a way out, even though I am the one who planned it.  I don’t understand why I feel like this. I love my family.

 

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Convergence

I am told there is a convergence occurring on all levels, all dimensions, all aspects. Fractured parts are rejoining; realigning. Who we are on every level is being disrupted and dis-eased so that we can reconfigure our Selves to match that which most resonates with the work we have to do here. And what work we have to do! 🙂

We can be anyone, anything. We are All of them anyway.

Time is when we make it, when it feels right for us. There is no rush, but we perceive it as such. Really, we can relax and let the game unfold. We make our move when it is our turn. The board is in front of us and we can see all the players now, or at least most of them.

I don’t know about you all, but I am looking forward to 2016.

 

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I watched a movie last night that I have seen many times – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you haven’t seen it, then you should. It is one of my favorites. The movie relates how our heart remembers even when our mind forgets – love really is the most powerful force in existence.

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! /The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.

From Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope

An explanation of the quote is here.

I had not intended to watch the movie but my husband started it and then promptly fell asleep. So I decided to watch it again because I remembered the movie so vividly from the last time I had watched it.

Without going into specifics about what I am going through currently, this movie really hit home this time around and I was sobbing by the time it ended. Of course, I had two glasses of wine in my system by that time. lol

The movie reminded me that we cannot hide from the heart, no matter how hard we try. It also reminds me of the amnesia that comes with incarnating on this planet. Despite it, we really are not as blind as we may think. Our hearts will always guide us to where we need to be if we just listen.

Are you listening?