The whole house slept in longer this morning. I guess the energies are to blame. Even I slept through until 6 when I normally wake up around 5am. There is a geomagnetic storm currently raging.

I woke up crying again. This was a sad, mourning kind of crying but it was not related to anyone’s death. It was more like I felt sad for myself and this life. Like I was mourning the loss of me. My immediate thought was that I am going through a death process. Once again shedding a part of myself that needs to be let go of.

Dream: Total Withdrawal

The dream which initiated the crying was an odd one. I witnessed two individuals discussing my fate. One said to the other, “I think it is time she moves out.” In the dream, I perceived the conversation to be going on between members of my family, so my mom and my cousin. .

I did not argue with the decision and moved where I was told. I was taken to a mobile home situated outside my grandparent’s home. I remember being introduced to another tenant, a man who shifted into a woman after our meeting. There was a brief interaction where the Spanish word, “nombre” was brought up. Why we were speaking in Spanish I don’t know but the man/woman corrected me and assumed I only spoke Spanish. I let it be and left.

On my way to my new home, which was a silver, older model mobile home like one would find in a mobile home park, I thought about how “off” the energy of this place felt to me. It was unnerving and I just wanted to retreat and hide in my new home. I remember seeing there were two other mobile homes identical to mine. There was also a large house where my grandparent’s garage use to be.

I went into my new home and heard a noise like the wind. I noticed the windows above the bed were open. I closed and locked them. There was this music being played that was quite loud. It was like someone had left the radio on. I realized it was coming from the big house. It was like someone had it on a loud speaker and was projecting it.

I went outside and looked at the house because the noise was keeping me from sleeping. I saw a man being ushered into one of the other mobile homes. He was a short, slightly fat man. The mobile home he was going into was like mine. I remember thinking that it was far below my standards and very out of date, likely needing a lot of upkeep.

I had this apathetic feeling wash over me. Everything about this scene was wrong. The energy from the people, the place I was being forced to live, the radio noise, the strangeness of the scene. I decided right then and there I was not going to pay my rent. I remember thinking, “What will they do to me? Kick me out?” I decided to pay my utility bills and just retreat into my home and not come out until I was forced to. I didn’t want to get a job and be in this rat race anymore. What was the point?

When I woke up I was crying but not a lot. I just felt so sad and hopeless about this place I find myself in. I immediately saw the mobile home as this place (Earth). I said to my Companion, “This place is a prison.” He agreed and reminded me that I was here to get out of it. He then reminded me to think positive, to focus on those things which I wanted and to try and stay in my heart. He told me, “These are challenging times.”

Dream: Holiday

I fell into another dream. In this one I was in a kitchen. It was very small, like the inside of an RV. There was a woman standing in front of the stove. She was cooking eggs. I recognized her as my cousin (not the same one from the previous dream). She said hi and went on with her cooking. The feeling here was that I was not going to get treated like a guest but more like a roommate. I joined her and picked up a pan to make eggs for myself. There was a cracked egg already in the pan but it had something in it, like debris or dirt. I commented on it and she suggested I just pick out the pieces, which I did.

My cousin told me she would be going on vacation soon. She said she was going to a week long spa retreat. I envied her. This conversation was going on while I was taking a shower. I remember wishing I could go with her. I thought about how well off my cousin was. They make over $200k a year and this gave her the freedom to do whatever she wanted whenever. I so wished that I could just go somewhere and be pampered for a full week, to leave behind my worries and responsibilities.

When I woke up from this dream I was again convinced that I wanted no part in this anymore. It is not that I don’t want to live but I no longer want to play the game that society has presented me with. There came with this a strong desire to drop all my possessions and just withdraw completely. There is also a feeling that I am not with the people or in the place I should be. That I should be moving about, like a gypsie. And finally a feeling that I should be with my spiritual family/soul group, specifically my counterpart.

I woke myself up several times last night yelling in excitement, “I’m done with school!” Once, when I awoke, my Companion was there cheering me on. Too funny!

Now I know that as infinite spiritual Beings, we are never truly done with learning (school). So why was I so excited? What happened to bring up so much relief, so much exaltation at the very notion that I was finished with school?

My dreams suggest I have moved past a pivotal point in my spiritual journey. Specifically, a point I have revisited time and time again in my dreams: high school. There was a memorable dream last night where I was with a group of familiar high school classmates. I wore no makeup (big deal for me at that time in my life) and though at first I was very aware of what I was wearing, I didn’t care one bit about it. Even when someone spoke to me about my appearance I acted proud of how I appeared and bored with their criticism. Throughout the dream I was disconnecting from that group, individuating from the experience. Very significant I must say. I hope to never return to high school in my dreams again! lol

Dream: Peach Trees

In another dream I was in a large white van. A woman was driving. She got distracted and I remember saying to her, “Where are you going?” She tried to self-correct and ended up knocking the van on its side. We got out and she was frazzled and I told her to just sit it back up and we could drive out. While she was doing (she was lifting it up with her bare hands) this I wandered around in the field we were in. There were deep ruts in the grass and peach trees with very, over large peaches on them. They were almost ripe and I found them very irresistible.

When I walked over to the trees I ran into this obstruction. It was green and covered with dirt and grass but it was pliable and I realized that it was a mechanical structure used to hold back water. I was standing on the bottom of what use to be a lake. The water was dried up and the structure was the old floodgate.

I inspected the fruit and found it was not yet ripe. I saw a couple walking toward me and heard their toddler yelling with joy. I commented on it, saying he was a very joyous little boy. They looked at me like I was crazy. I ignored them.

Someone was with me and showed me a very large peach. She pointed to what looked like a knot of wood in the center of the peach. She said it was very rare. The peach had grown around the knot. I looked at it closely and saw what looked like a rotten patch. It fell off and I saw what seemed like decay inside.

Upon closer inspection I saw very clearly three very tiny, fragile baby birds. I said, “Oh, a bird built it’s nest inside!” I was upset because now that the peach was removed the mother may not find her babies. The woman with me set it inside a pile of dirt and rocks that was as high as we were. I heard her say the bird was a white starling. I saw in my mind a fairly large bird that was completely white. I wondered how it could even fit inside the tiny nest! The woman with me was reassuring me that the mother bird would find her babies and not abandoned them despite them being moved. I believed her and the dream ended.

Interpretation

I was reminded of the waterfall and damn symbolism that came up recently. Apparently I have overcome this obstacle and now the water has receded so I can see what is underneath. In this case it is peaches. Peaches symbolize pleasure and joy and indicate that things are going well. The nest of birds suggests the birth of something new that needs to be tended to. When I awoke I couldn’t recall the type of bird and heard very distinctly “starling”. I understood this to be related to Starseed but in an immature form – like a baby Starseed. I didn’t even know if such a bird existed – but it does.

Dream: Last 5 Minutes

I was attending a lecture inside what resembled a church. There were pews and everything and someone was standing behind a podium located at the front of the room. I heard the announcement that during the last 5 minutes someone would speak a few words. Part of what was said was, “For those of you who may like to leave early, it is advised that you stay.” At that moment I was trying to sneak out without being seen. Everyone looked at me and I made some excuse and went back to my seat.

Then three people in wheelchairs rolled in and surrounded me. I thought it odd that they were in wheelchairs and they made it impossible for me to leave.

Dream: Visiting Friend

This dream then reminded me of a previous dream in which we had a guest who was a college professor. The professor was familiar and had driven many miles to meet me (from Cambridge). I recognized him as someone who I have communicated with online and wondered why he was in my dream. This didn’t wake me up, though. I had a concern that he was romantically interested in me but this thought was dispelled quiet quickly. It was known that he only wished to help and I was reminded of the worth of the relationships which I am building at this time.

We had all retired to bed when I heard noise and got up to investigate. I walked around to the front of the house and saw the garage door had been opened. Then I ran into my mom (we were at her house). My mom was being very nasty in the dream – irritable. She said they only got 5 minutes of sleep. I said, “Only 15 minutes?” She said to me, “You didn’t listen to what I said. I said 5 minutes.”  The professor friend had been out with a female friend of his during the night and had not slept either. He was preparing to go for a hike. I remember looking at his boots and noting he wore brown, leather, hiking boots.

After this morning’s Kundalini rising, I returned to sleep and fell into a vivid dream which I feel I should record.

Dream: Transformation

I was with family in a very large house, mansion maybe. My sisters and I were together with our brother. My brother and I had a very strong bond. We were “joined at the hip” and my sisters often commented about it and were suspicious about our deep connection.

Sometime later it occurred to us (me and my brother) that we were in love with each other and wanted a romantic relationship. I openly admitted this to my sisters and family, telling them that I didn’t care what they thought. It was empowering to follow my heart and ignore their objections.

The dream shifted and we were discussing a very unsettling family situation. A male family member and his wife mistreated their infant son and had four very vicious dogs. He also had a sporty vehicle he loved and kept immaculate. He and his wife often had violent arguments in front of their son, hitting each other, cursing, and yelling. This upset me because it was damaging the child. The child picked up this behavior and so treated others like this, even his own parents. It was not unusual for him to try to strangle his father in his sleep because this is what he had seen his father doing to his mother.

So we took the car and secretly sold it for $9,500, way beneath its value. We took one of the black, vicious dogs and made it docile – wiped its memory and made it like a new puppy. It became very loving, sensitive and cautious. At one point I picked up the baby boy and tried to cuddle with him. He did not know how to respond to hugs. It was like he had never had one. I decided to fix that with more love and hugs.

I took the now docile dog to my home to live because to send him back to his old home would likely lead to his demise. When I brought the dog into my home, the dog shifted into a young woman with long black hair. I showed her the house and the rooms of her siblings. She especially enjoyed her younger sister’s room and wanted to stay and explore the toys in it. She followed directions very well and thrived on love and attention.

She was very new to being a human – never been human before – so I was showing her how to be human. She really loved red wine, though, and often over indulged. I remember this causing upset in the family because she did not know how to control her consumption of wine.

Considerations

I believe this dream is me trying to make sense of the Kundalini experience I had this morning. It is like a continuation of the lesson. I can see very clearly a transformation taking place within myself which is obvious in the dream. What is done to the baby, dog and car are happening to me in various ways. The young woman is the new me, or the me who needs training. She is like a blank slate and needs to be taught how to live in a human body. She tends to overindulge, however.

Just some random dreams I am posting for later reference.

Dream: Assignment

I put on a pure white, very heavy, knitted sweater. I knew it was too hot to wear, yet I chose to anyway. I felt uncomfortable wearing it.

Nervous, I walked into a conference room. Situated at a very long conference table were approximately 13 individuals, men and women. The atmosphere was very laid back. In fact, several of the men and women at the table had their feet up on the table and were casually conversing amongst themselves. I stood in front of them, nervous. Much was discussed but all I remember was the topic: my job. It wasn’t a job interview. It was instead a job assignment. I knew that I was a counselor, or at least that is what I felt my job was.

A woman passed me and another woman a list of what we were to do. My list was longer than the other woman’s yet our jobs were identical. I remember feeling this was unfair and so I objected, raising my hand and asking, “Why does she not have as much to do as I do?” I don’t remember the answer but I accepted it quietly despite still feeling it was unfair.

In the back of my mind I remember thinking to myself, “You should speak up for yourself before you end up in a situation you can’t get out of.”  But then I still didn’t because I felt so unsure if it was the right decision. I didn’t want to seem resistant, but I was.

When I woke from this dream I did not know who I was and I could not identify anything other than the fact that I had just received my assignment. It took me a while to remember who I was and my first thought was, “Why would I wear a sweater like that!?” lol Then I realized I had been communicating with my Council. No wonder I was nervous.

Dream: Persnickety 

I was with a group of friends and we entered a craftsman style home. I went directly out the back door into the back yard. It was dark outside and I heard one of my friends chattering away behind me. She was familiar with long, straight black hair and quite pretty. She was telling me that one of our friends went to get take out and then asked me when I got the automatic lock/unlock feature on my door. I told her I hadn’t as I went back inside. I checked the door and sure enough there was a small, black box next to it with a blinking green light. I guess we did have that feature after all.

A girl arrived with the take-out which was fried catfish. She was handing out the food so I went up to get mine. She asked me, “Do you want the fish with the persnickety seasoning on it?” I looked down and saw baked fish with red colored seasoning on it. I said, “Is it any good?” She said, “Yes, it’s great but it might give you indigestion.” I remember wondering what persnickety tasted like.

I woke up knowing that someone was making fun of me in this dream. They called me persnickety! Which, I probably am and it probably has given me and others lots of indigestion! lol

Dream: Mosquito

In a semi-lucid state I was standing downstairs in my kitchen speaking to a man that I could not see. As we talked something kept buzzing in my ear. I swatted at it a few times and then stopped talking to try and focus on killing the darn thing. It sounded very much like a mosquito and in the dream this is what I assumed it was. I could see it zipping back and forth. I was never able to kill it.

I suspect the mosquito that was bugging me was my guides trying to get me to listen. lol

Dream: Evil Teacher

In this dream I was reporting to a new job. I was a special education teacher and went into a classroom. It was to be my temporary room and another teacher was already inside. She had all the students busy and looked like a teacher I use to work with in the past. This teacher was really annoying so this is likely why she was in the dream because I remember thinking I could not work with her. I soon changed my mind and asked her for some suggestions and that whole section of the dream ended.

Then a man with dark hair approached me. He said to me, “I know you” and in my mind I recalled other dreams in which I had done things I was not proud of – all pertaining to school/education. I felt very ashamed of myself and knew this man knew all of my past misdeeds. Instantly I wanted to get away from him as fast as I could. I ran out of the building into the parking lot but he followed me.

I went to a nearby building, an old museum, to hide but he followed. I tried to bar the doors but he somehow got inside. So I decided I would confront him. I grabbed a large US flag with a pointed pole and sneaked up behind him. I saw that he had a young boy and my youngest son with him. To my horror I noticed evidence that he had molested them. Angry, I took the flag pole and stabbed the man in the back pushing the pole up through his abdomen and out the front through his throat.

This is probably the most disturbing dream I have had in over a year. When I woke up my root chakra was pulling and it confused me. I was told I was purging the final vestiges of blockages there. 

Crazy night of dreams. Recording them for documentation purposes.

 Dream: First Day of School

I spent the majority of this dream preparing to go back to school. I was the adult version of myself but I was standing in my old bedroom in front of my mirror and my mother and grandmother were both present in the dream. My grandmother is deceased (passed May, 4, 2014).

My grandmother had laid out various shirts, pants, skirts, etc and my room appeared to be a mess of clothing and in total disarray. My mom and grandmother were fussing over me and I was indecisive and could not figure out what I wanted to wear.

I finally decided on a white, form fitting shirt and a denim skirt. The shirt was semi-see-through and I was able to see the outline of my bra through it. The skirt was shorter than I liked and when I bent over it revealed more than it should. lol I remember asking my mom to look and see if the skirt passed the test and she said it almost didn’t. Then I was inspecting my shirt. It bothered me that my bra was showing and it was obvious the bra was too big as it was bunching up around my arm pits. I felt very concerned about how I looked. It appeared as if my body got wider the more I looked and the word “fat” popped into my head more than once. I then spent some time choosing the right shoes. I selected a nice pair of sandals but wanted to wear white socks with them. Ultimately, I went without the socks because it really looked dorky. lol

I heard a noise indicating the bus and when I looked at the clock it read 7:15. I knew I had missed the bus but was not worried. My mom would drive me. I remember thinking about how it would be to return to school – how uncomfortable I would feel to be judged by others for the way I looked. I decided I didn’t care.

Dream: Blood Test

I was sitting on the examining table at the doctor’s office. Blood test results were being reviewed. The results indicated that my PEP was low. The nurse discussed this with me. She asked me if I knew what PEP was. I nodded that I wasn’t sure. I said, “Am I pregnant?” She said, “No.” I remember wishing I were pregnant because I preferred being pregnant again to whatever I was about to be told. The nurse explained that the blood test indicated that one of my internal organs had broken through the protective outer layer of another organ. It reminded me of a hernia when I saw the picture she provided, but that was not what it was. She showed me the liver and said it was most likely that my problem was related to the liver being compromised. Nothing she said really made much sense to me.

Then it was like time had passed and I was being shown the lower part of my body, where my ovaries and uterus are. A specific section was highlighted that appeared to be right about where my root chakra would be. I remember asking if I would need a hysterectomy and wishing they would just get it over with already because I was tired of having to deal with this issue.

Lucid Dream: Flooding in San Mateo 

I was listening to a news broadcast while discussing what had just occurred. The news broadcast indicated that there had been massive flooding in San Mateo and hundreds were missing and/or displaced. There was also a death count. I became lucid during this part of the dream and actually saw scenes of the destruction, specifically images of a shelter where people were being sent.

The other news broadcast interrupted and suddenly the name of another town became very apparent. I heard Alvaredo this time and this confused me and brought me to full awareness and I woke up. When I woke up, I had a vision of myself jumping feet first into a raging waterfall. This was not the pretty, cascading waterfalls one usually sees indicating serenity. This was a raging, turbulent waterfall.

Considerations

The first dream seems to be about my shifting into a new phase of my journey. There are preparations being made and I am struggling to feel comfortable with mySelf. Self-criticism is one of the barriers I am facing.

The next dream seems to indicate that I am trying to heal specific areas in my life. The PEP portion makes me laugh out loud. I mean really? PEP? I need to remedy my PEP problem? LOL So true! The fact that I prefer to be pregnant again to whatever it is I am being told is a huge indicator. There is no way in hell that I would want to be pregnant again. hahaha The areas of issue are the third chakra and root chakra is seems.

The last dream seems to be more an indicator of emotional upheaval than anything. I have had the waterfall in both visions and dreams since May. For a time in May it was even frozen. So I guess now that it is all flooded I am deciding to jump in and get it over with. Not sure if this is a good thing or not. lol

Wanted to share the full version of this dream because it may have significance for later.

Dream: Manna

I was with a group of individuals, approximately three others, maybe more. I remember we were introducing ourselves to one another. All I recall now was that a woman said she was from Georgia.

We had a guide or leader who was male. The scene was somewhere in the deep South. The mood was nervousness mixed with concern for being caught.

We were keeping to the shadows, our guide leading the way. There was an abandoned house of some sort. It reminded me of an old gristmill. Our leader told us it was empty so we entered cautiously. It was decided we would stay the night there and leave in the morning.

I was afraid and sought out a hiding place inside the building. The worry was that some bands of raiders would find us and either kill us or take all of our food. While I was looking for my hiding place, our guide reassured me that there was nothing to fear. He seemed to give me a lesson during this time and a full history of what led to the circumstances we found ourselves in.

Some kind of major event had occurred and the current state was that all resources were limited. Water was scarce and those in power had taken over all remaining sources, restricting it even more and causing people to panic and resort to whatever means possible in order to obtain it. Food was also limited, but the main focus of the population was on obtaining water. I remember the guide explaining that the restriction of resources was purposeful, the intent was to have power over others. The lack was an illusion. There was plenty to go around, but the population was kept in ignorance. There was also discussion about the “natural order” of things. That Mother Earth was out of balance and had people allowed her to remain in balance none of this would be happening. The outcome was that people would suffer loss above and beyond what would have been the case had balance remained. The feeling here was that rather than lose a child or two to disease or a family member to illness, now entire communities would be lost. It would be seen as a devastating blow by humanity.

Someone was spotted outside the building and our leader reminded us to remain calm. A group of thugs entered bearing weapons. Their intent was obvious – take whatever they could and kill anyone who resisted.

When I tried to withdraw, our leader put out his hand, indicating that I should stay where I was. He then reminded us that there was no lack, that we were willing to share whatever we had. He made sure the men heard him, too. I remember being shocked as he went toward one of the armed men and offered him food. The man was shocked as well and put down his gun.

Our leader then told the men that we could create our own food. He spread out his arms and from the sky seemed to materialize tiny, square pieces of what appeared to be bread. He said there was plenty, enough for all. Each of us had a square of this food in the palms of our hands that seems to materialize out of thin air. It was known that one square was enough to feed a person for an entire day.

Then our leader taught us of the importance of the group; how we must gather together for the survival of mankind. If we didn’t, if we remained focused on our individual wants/needs and if we continued to allow fear to rule our hearts, then mankind would most definitely perish. There was a sense that this kind of group cohesion was so strong that any one of us would be willing to sacrifice our lives for the group. This is not to be confused with a kamikaze or suicide bomber type mentality. Instead, it is a willingness to offer ourselves up where we are most needed, even if that need may mean that we lose our physical body so that another may keep his.

Visitor

When I awoke from this dream there was to my left a Being who has in the past visited me. His energy felt like that of the Lord Commander Sananda, but I did not ask as it really made no difference who he was. What mattered was that he was there and had given me an important message for mankind. I knew immediately that he had come to reiterate the messages given in the dream. The part that hit home the most was the part about being provided for, specifically the food which seemed to fall from the sky. I immediately called this food “manna” and understood that it would be provided to us. My thought was that it would indeed come from “the sky” as a gift from those who have been watching over us; those who are here to ensure the survival of our species.