Daily Archives: March 10, 2015

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Dr. Who

No this post isn’t about the television show, its about a dream. 🙂

Dr. Who

I thought I had forgotten this dream. Guess not!

The dream began in a cafeteria at a college. The tables were full of loud and talkative college students. I was with them and talking to a woman. I don’t remember all the conversations I had now, but I do recall that I was considering befriending a girl but was concerned that she was a lesbian.

I recall talking to one man in particular about how he should not drink alcohol during the day. He laughed along with his buddies and they continued to drink, sneaking it into their drinks.

At one point I was speaking to a woman about a test. She handed me the answer key and I saw the test in detail. It was fill-in-the-blank and all the blanks were filled in with the answer, “Dr. Who”. I remember thinking it odd that it said, “Dr. Who” and I pointed it out to her saying, “Did you know that it says Dr. Who in all the blanks? Shouldn’t it say Dr. Oz or Dr. Ott?” She thanked me for telling her but I stood there for some time confused about the answer, “Dr. Who”.

I then walked to class with a girl. I recall walking down large, stone stairs alongside other students and heading toward a reddish-brown brick building. I saw on the plaque the building number. It said, “3” and below the number was “Tres”. I said to my friend, “This is building 3” and she said, “Good. This is the one”.

We walked inside and it seemed more like the waiting area of a doctor’s office than a college auditorium or even a college building. There were cushy chairs placed in clusters around the room; tall, potted plants; a receptionist area; and lots of wide, open space. The color of the carpet was a golden yellow color and the furniture was a deep, warm brown color.

I instantly relaxed when I entered the room and said, “Good. This is more like it. These people are much more serious”. I remember thinking that it suited me more than the cafeteria where the students seemed disinterested in learning and more interested in staying drunk and partying non-stop. I recall thinking that they were trying to avoid life.

Reflection

When I awoke, the first thing I remembered was the odd test and “Dr. Who”. Could it be that I was discussing time travel with my guides in the dream? Or was it representative of an actual doctor because I started saying other doctor’s names? It might be since when I went to “building 3” it was more like a doctor’s office than a classroom.

I want to say the dream is attempting to help me with the questions I had prior to sleep: If I leave this job, then what? I have always known I am here to help and in the television show that is what Dr. Who was doing, too. Or maybe it is more literal and I am in the process of healing and going to the doctor as part of my learning. This could also be true since I have been digging around in my past lives lately.

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Shark Bait

Last night was once again full of vivid dreams. Unfortunately, I did not write them all down and now I wish I had. The day erased my memory of most of them.

Shark Bait

The one dream I do recall is interesting. What I remember the most about it is being with two people, both men. We are in front of a large, white ship. On the side of the ship is a floatation device like you would see in the movies. I was pure white and had “Safety Device” written on it.

One man grabbed the device. The next thing I know we are all three floating in the water with the huge white ship next to us. I am happy that we are safe. I also notice that me and the two men are encapsulated in white tubes and the floatation device is gone.

It is then that I notice the man in the middle has bright red blood spilling out below him in the water. I immediately knew that he had stabbed himself purposefully and I think, “We are shark bait”.

The dream ended there.

Interpretation

Upon waking I immediately thought that my feelings of security may be false as indicated by the safety floatation device being no good at helping me with another problem – the betrayal of my friend and the impending attack by a shark.

It is interesting to me that this dream came right after the grid memory which caused me some concern. I was also encapsulated by a white tube that came all the way up to my shoulders and went down past my feet. I wonder if the tube in the dream is symbolic of the grid I recalled being covered in.

Blood in dreams represents life, love, passion and disappointments. Sharks can represents feelings of anger and resentment or can also represent an aspect of the self that is unwanted or undesired. In this case, I feel the shark is something that will consume me, so it could be that I fear my negative reaction.

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1950

Today in session I went back to the year 1950. I have been to the particular life before but not this specific memory.

Electroshock Therapy (ECT)

When I touched on this memory the first time I was hit with such a panic in my chest that I lost my breath. At the same instant I knew I had ECT and it was the source of the panic.

Upon further inspection, I was able to see quite a bit of the entire treatment series from the moment I came into the room to the moment I left it. The room had a large, double-sided glass viewing area behind which stood an odd-looking chair with straps on it. It reminded me first of a dentist chair but I knew it was not one. There were two male doctors wearing traditional scrubs and masks and a female nurse who ushered me in.

The nurse wheeled me into the reception area and spoke to me, telling me it would be okay, not to be nervous and that it would not hurt. Then one of the male doctors approached me with paperwork and asked me to sign, explaining he had to have my consent. My mind was very confused and chaotic at the time. All I recall thinking is that I was insane and then contradicting that thought with the opposite thought. I recall seeing myself sign the sheet. I could see a large J or looped L in my name.

I then saw them do something with my wrist/hand. I thought I was also stamped or ID’d but I am not sure.

When I got into the chair they placed something over my eyes and the doctor to my right told me to relax. I felt pressure on my temples, more on my right than my left.

The next thing I recall is a very bright white flash. It was then that I left my body.

I spent the next minutes outside my body hovering over it and watching the scene with interest. I felt very detached from my body. I knew it was mine but I did not care much about it. I saw that I had blue colored goggles or something over my eyes, was wearing a hospital gown and had something over my feet. I was also strapped securely into the chair. I saw the man on my left standing over a machine that was gray in color with a black knob. I also saw the grayish colored stone of the room and the tile ceilings. There was various wires around my body as well and what I think might have been an IV bag.

I heard the man on my right say, “Are you okay?” and I was back in my body. I felt very confused and disoriented. I could not remember who I was or where I was. The feeling was not scary at first but then it was, especially as I began to feel my body. I had sensations in my present body of being very hot and wanting to clench my teeth. I also had the odd sensation that my teeth were made of wood and solid. The hot sensations eventually passed after I went through the life a number of times in order to find all the details.

After the procedure was done, they had me stand and then sit in the wheelchair. They asked me questions I could not answer and I was told it would be okay several times. I remember feeling very mentally dull but it was clear that my disorganized thoughts were gone. In fact, almost all thinking was gone. I was very sad afterward, thinking, “It didn’t work” over and over.

I knew prior to the ECT that I had been suffering from major depression to the point of catatonia. I had suffered greatly at the hands of my abusive husband. I eventually lost it when he began to beat our daughter and I met him at our front door with a rifle of some sort and shot him in the shoulder. He did not die but you can imagine the trauma that came of it, especially since I was a Black woman in the South.

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Energy Grid

Yesterday I decided that I will not stay at my current job. I am done accepting situations that I do not agree with or that are not ideal in my world. My job is not bad but the system that created it is. I wish to disconnect myself from a system that suppresses individuals.

As I went to sleep last night I asked to received assistance in determining my next course of action. I accept the feelings I have been having about my career and know what I don’t want in my life more now than ever. But what do I want? I understand that part of the process of learning what one wants is to experience enough of life to know what they don’t want. I am comfortable with the process now more than ever. I am told I will be shown what is next and I felt the truth of it so strong that I was overcome with tears. I know it will be that way and I am fully accepting of whatever is next on my agenda.

Energy Grid

Like so many nights since the birth of my son, I fell asleep while meditating. I was awakened by my son’s cries and got up to help my husband tend to him. When I lay back down I could not remember what I had been dreaming about. When I searched my memory I got a very strong impression that has me wondering about its significance.

I experienced myself as both in my body on the bed and outside my body as an observer. There was a male entity in the room who was dark and fluid in his movements. I did not sense anything negative about him.

This man moved from one side of my physical body to the other very quickly. He did not go around but over my body and as he did he wove what I can only describe as an energy web across my body. It was white and shimmery like a spider’s web with dew on it, yet it looked like a net more than a web made up of identical square boxes. When I questioned what it was, I heard “grid”.

The color of this grid changed from white to green and it reminded me of a security blanket of some sort. I am not sure what its purpose is but I felt very strongly at the time that it was meant to keep me in my body for a certain amount of time.