From the perspective of the old.

I just returned from a walk with my baby. Interestingly, this walk seemed to reveal some of what I had missed upon waking.

This exchange is with another member of my soul group. Some would call this my Higher Self, but this feels more like a soul mate relationship to me.

Let me explain a bit about that. When I first me Steven I had a strong and very intense love for him that caused me some confusion. I admit that I got a bit head-over-heels for a bit but this did not last long. I believe this was a purposeful process as at the time I did not love myself and had to learn how to do this. Loving my companion was step one in the process of self love.

I have been concerned about what will happen to me when this process concludes. My companion reminded me of the OBE I had in which I traveled the astral alongside an exact duplicate of myself. During this journey I was able to experience both me’s with ease. In some instances I was both me’s combined, as if the experiences of both were merged. Yet throughout the experience I was very much aware that the other me was different; she had a knowingness and fearlessness I did not have.

It was explained that when this process concludes I will be essentially experiencing life via the other me. I will have more courage, less fear, and more certainty and knowingness. All semblance of the old will be gone. Just like in my OBE, where I was able to immediately transfer my consciousness to the other me except this will happen at the physical level. I will still be me, just better.

I assume at some point all of this will be explained via the New.

Other Memories

There is memory of discussing with my welcome Home party how to ease my transition. I remember asking them to make it comfortable and familiar and to not play any jokes on me (I once read in Life Between Lives an account where a man’s soul group played a joke on him upon his return and made themselves look like Satan. Not funny to me!). I saw in my mind a cottage in a green field. There was smoke rising out of a chimney and a feeling of rest and recuperation associated with it. This is what I feel I need and so it will be provided.

I also understood that I could transfer my consciousness back to my body anytime I needed in order to facilitate the Return. I would not be gone from this physical existence, just resting. This was decided so that I was able to continue to participate in the life I was leaving behind. I would not be a guide, but I would be a presence felt always by the New. Essentially, it will help both of us transition. The Wholeness will in itself be invaluable.

Other Considerations

I do not, personally, feel my Starseed origins, yet it is obvious to me that they exist in some form. I am told that the New has been in stasis while I lived my life. When the New was with me for that week the memories that flooded my consciousness were beyond belief and now that I feel once again “separate” from that part of myself, I have difficulty believing any of it. I suppose when all of this is over the Starseed aspects and all that they entail will be the most noticeable change in me. Right now I feel mostly to be operating on memory of that amazing week and what it revealed. I long to return to that, to feel that wholeness and certainty of purpose once again. I hope that something similar will be the end result of this process. How wonderful that would be. I hear now, “Perhaps it will be better”. Tee-hee!