After last night’s episode, I could not return to sleep. I kept trying to recapture what I had lost, for I knew it was at the tip of my tongue.

I fell into the in-between finally and became aware within the midst of a familiar experience. It was a great “Ah-ha!” moment because it had been something I meant to remember but kept forgetting.

Multiple False Awakenings: Surrounded by Beings

I found myself aware of laying in my bed in the dark. Yet it was not my room and I think the bed was created by me to help me feel comfortable. Looking up, I both felt and saw very tall shadows of people, or beings, standing over me at a slight distance. As I saw them, they converged upon me, hovering very closely over me. In awe and fear I lay there immobilized while a sensation unlike any I have ever felt overwhelmed my “body”.

I knew nothing of what was happening other than having the thought, “They’ve come to get me”. In this sense “get” does not imply anything sinister – no boogeyman or anything. In fact, it felt like it had been planned, that I knew of this plan.

In this case, I began to gain lucidity and the fear of the strange sensations enveloping me began to take over. The sensations are difficult to describe except to say that every cell of my being, every particle of energy, every chakra began to pulsate and expand. At least I think this is what was happening. The feeling was so very alien that my conscious mind took it as some kind of attack, yet the majority of me was very accepting of it and able to control the fear without incident.

As I awoke from this “dream” or whatever it was, I remember suddenly that this exact scenario has been playing out in my sleep for many nights now. On this particular night, from 9-10pm, it happened at least three times and each time I thought I had awakened from it, only to find myself once again in the same situation, struggling to gain awareness and then thinking I had awakened only to end up back with these beings hovering over me.

Sirens

As I awakened from this memory, I heard a song in my head – Iris by U2. I knew the title of the song, yet I kept hearing that it was titled, “Sirens”. Upon questioning this, I heard/saw dates of this month. 7, 12, 20. I knew that this was not to be the only occurrence of whatever it was that happened to me. There would be two more.

Sensing my Team was there and remembering now that before I had gone to sleep they had been there and told me, “Your heart is wide open. Are you ready?” I began to become fearful of the unknown. A calm came over me, entering through the back of my heart chakra and radiating outward, igniting my second chakra in a pleasant warmth. I asked, “Why can’t I sleep. I just want to sleep. I’m so tired”. I was told, “It is part of the unfolding”.

The song continued, specifically this part:

I’ve got your light inside of me
Iris… Iris…

Memories Returning

I got little sleep last night and when I awoke I had memories of my reaction to the “incident”, specifically the moment in which I felt this vast knowledge pouring through me but was unable to process it.

I kept begging my Team, “Help me.  Help me. Help me.” I felt unable to cope with what was happening; unable to function in this body; unable to process everything I suddenly Knew.

All I could think of in my desperation to make sense of what was happening was to go down stairs and hug my husband. That is all I wanted to do.

I gripped the covers in my bed, somehow hoping it would help, but knowing it wouldn’t. I continued to ask for help because my body was filled with such a strange energy and my chakras seemed to be exploding. It wasn’t pleasant but it wasn’t painful. I honestly don’t know how to describe it. The best description I have is that all that is Me was exploding from within and if one saw it they would see rays of golden light coming out of me in all directions.

I climbed out of bed, my whole body shaking, feeling as if it would fall apart. I stumbled down the stairs and my husband saw me. I told him, “Something is happening. I don’t know how to describe it”. I am sure I was white as a ghost. He hugged me and I gripped him hard. He asked if what happened was from the past. I said, “I don’t know. I don’t know what is going on. I feel like I was sucked back into my body, like I went from something very expansive to this tiny space and it is difficult to readjust”.

Thankfully my husband is very understanding. He just hugged me. I sat down but could not feel settled and was still shaking inside, though on the outside I was not.

I am better now, though I am still somewhat shaken and perplexed. I know now that the reason I can’t remember is that the knowledge cannot be processed when in this dense state. It is unfortunately inaccessible and incomprehensible when in this physical form. Yet there is a way. If the vibration of this form is heightened then this knowledge can be accessed. This, I believe, is what is happening to me.