Daily Archives: February 13, 2016

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The Fragmented Self

There was much behind-the-scenes work going on last night, not just for me but many others. We are preparing for the ultimate shift, one in which we will be completely transformed. How many are going through this? I am unsure. All I know now is that my soul group are all going through this together. Some are a bit slower than others, but we are all transforming and at lightning speed, too.

I received a clearer understanding of my particular situation. I just woke up knowing it. My transformation is best termed a “walk-in” but the meaning of this was clarified for me (thank goodness!).

I am integrating a higher aspect. This kind of walk-in is very common and usually temporary. However, I feel my particular case is more permanent as there will be a complete exchange of one aspect (the old) with the other (the new). Currently I am “shedding” the layers that compose the “old” me. I have been asked to return to my past – to review memories, journals, etc. If you wish to follow this life review, you can visit my YouTube channel as I am making videos of what I find along the way.

I realized that this is part of the shedding process. A life review of sorts, preparing me for the exchange. It involves more healing and letting go. It is getting easier as I progress, too. I have been doing this healing for a  very, very long time.

The Fragmented Self

A memory from long ago surfaced this morning. I had previously been told by my Companion that I was “fragmented” and later referred to this as my “Fragmented Self”. Essentially, when life gets tough – the tough run and hide (lol) – or at least I do. When there is trauma, a part of Us splits off. This is coping mechanism and very well known in psychology. It was explained to me that I have to retrieve these fragments in order to become Whole. Some call this soul retrieval. I just call it hard work. lol

 I wrote about it in my blog on July 26, 2011. Here is what I wrote:

At some point, a part of me fragmented away from my self in order to create a me that would survive in this body and do well in life. Unfortunately, the memory of that event is strung out over many years [and lifetimes] and it will take time to regain. But with that memory will come clarity. The clarity is the de-fragmentation of my self. I have already felt the  beginnings of it. Tiny moments of complete and utter calmness and knowingness. It is beautiful. And I intend to get to the point where that calmness and clarity will stay. I intend to reunite myself with myself. I think I am on the right path, too.

All this time I have been retrieving fragments. All this time I have been healing a gaping wound that I have carried with me life after life.

I have experienced the return of these fragments over time. At first I just noticed something was “different” but in recent years I have actually felt these fragments return. These fragments are parts of me on other paths as well – my multidimensional aspects. They shattered and went other directions, into a different “times” or dimension. All of this also involves the collapsing of timelines. It is like all of who I thought I was, who I could be and who I am, is coalescing. As I get more parts, as the pieces come together, I begin to Remember more and this snowballs and more and more parts are returned to Me. It is really a beautiful thing.

Rebirth

In my dreams last night I was preparing for my rebirth. There was much discussion on what was coming. Unfortunately, I recall that the present personality that is in charge was not made fully aware. Thus, I was “sleeping” through much of the conversation. I recall snuggling up inside a sleeping bag while my “class” got on a bus to go on a field trip. There were moments when I tried very hard to wake myself up but the heaviness of sleep kept beckoning and I would ultimately give into it. It was during this “sleep” that the majority of the conversations (negotiations) were taking place. I am told that this is for my own protection as I am not yet ready to fully participate.

Every day I feel a little more of the new me and little less of the old me.

There is a feeling of anticipation along with fear with all of this. Who will I be when this is all over and done with? Also, what do I do then? What will my path be? So many questions arise. Yet at the same time I know that this exchange is ultimately the whole reason for this life and the ones leading up to it. I will be reborn into wholeness.

 

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Lucid Group Meeting

Yesterday’s energies really hit me hard last night. I took a hot bath with Lavender essential oil and then tried to sleep but was wide awake. My ears began to ring intensely at this time. This was one of those ear ringing episodes where it felt like pressure inside my head and the sound kept getting louder and then softer, louder, softer. This went on for the longest I have ever experienced ear ringing and my third-eye was intensely pulling. I quieted my mind and tried to focus on the ringing and that caused my crown to start to pull with energy as well. At this point it had mostly been my left ear but then my right ear started to ring as well and the sounds joined in the center of my mind. It was like they were located just behind my nose area. I could see a pyramid shape from my eyes and nose to this singular point in the middle of my brain. The sounds were of multiple pitches and it was extraordinary!

I am told I am perceiving frequency fluctuations within my energy body. This was first told to me in the middle of the day yesterday by on of my Team members. I had noticed his voice was very distorted and low. It was like one of those voice distorting devices used on cop shows. I had heard this before, years ago while OOB and it had totally freaked me out because I had thought it was a “bad” thing, like a “demon” (how naive). After this, I continued to hear his voice in my mind in this way. So, apparently these intense shifts in vibration/frequency this time around are really impacting my perceptions!

Lucid Group Meeting

I slept very hard and had numerous dreams.Rather than go into the dreams, I will continue to look behind the dream at what was really going on. My guidance is telling me this is the best way to look at my dreams now.

After waking at around 1am I asked to project. I felt this was denied but didn’t care and went back to sleep.

I found myself attending a gathering of “family”. I remember there being 7 of us but more were on their way. The locations was a very beautiful estate out in a secluded area. The house itself was reminiscent of a place I had seen on a trip to L.A. as was the grounds on which it was located. Everything was green and pristine.

I went up to a group who was standing on the veranda that overlooked rolling hills and a large swimming pool. We were discussing the year 1989 (why does this year keep coming up!?). In the dream, someone had gone missing around this time and we were talking about him. We talked about him as if he were my father. I thought of all the people I was with as my “brothers and sisters”.

This is when I met a young man whom I referred to as my “step-brother”. He appeared younger than I with long, curly dark blonde hair. The hair style he was wearing was like something out of the 70’s disco era. lol When we met we exchanged information automatically. It was like I had his whole life story in my head!

He told me he was born in 1962 (why did he look so young then!?) and was very proud of a car he owned – now an antique. A Ford something or rather, I think a Mustang. I remember knowing that most of my “group” came into bodies before me. I had been delayed because I had to abort my last life in 1971 (so I had been born in the 60s). Most of my group, then, are in their late 40’s to early 60’s. Makes me feel a bit left behind. lol

At this time another member of my group made herself known. She was an Asian woman with long black hair who also appeared young. I didn’t get info from her like I did the man, but she did show me part of her life. She had been to China or lived there and was “of service” to others. She was drinking a cup of tea when we were talking. It was in a small, porcelain cup.

Then my attention was focused back on the man who seemed genuinely interested in “catching up”. He showed me that he had gone through a tough time with his Earth family. Someone had died and not left a will and there was conflict in the family because of this. It felt like a really negative situation. I felt bad for him.

Then he embraced me and, since I felt I had known him forever, I embraced him back. I was very lucid at this point and remember that he wanted more than just a hug. It was like he was asking for permission to be more than just a brother to me. Kind of weird! But then I was open to this. Talk about incest! LOL

We kissed and I reached around and put my hands up under his shirt and embraced him. I could feel everything as if I was in the physical. I felt his shoulders and back and I could feel his lips and tongue as we kissed. I was fully into all of it, too, without any concern about cheating on my husband. It was really nice and so perfectly real!

We made out for a long time it seemed and I had no sexual urges turn on. My heart, however, was blazing intensely. This intensity is what ultimately woke me up. As I awoke I could still feel him and taste his lips. I did not want to wake up.

Soul Family

When I awoke I asked the guide who was present, “Who was he? Is he in a physical body?” I heard the name “David” and knew he was in a physical body right now. I was told that most of my group are in bodies presently.

I was then reminded that I had been told They were going to help me with my reaction to “family” so that I would not be overwhelmed (like I was in yesterday’s K experience). I realized that this lucid dream was exactly that. I felt a similar attraction to this man but I did not feel overwhelmed. There was no repulsion whatsoever. I felt connected to him – as if we were two branches of the same tree. There was a wholeness present – a feeling that his experiences were mine and mine were his. I specifically remember feeling that he was a brother to me. This is not the first time I have felt such a connection.

I was reminded of the ReUnion message I got not long ago. There was Knowing that we were all going to come together and I had to be ready for this. “Ready” in this particular instance means I need to not overreact because many recognitions and feelings will arise for all involved. I have little concern if the reUnion is similar to this dream. However, if it is like the previous night’s dream I think I would pass out from such a meeting. LOL

I also thought about the message I got that this summer was going to be “hot”. It appears that I am already heading down that road. If I keep having dreams like this one it is likely I will be one hot and bothered woman by this summer. hahaha!