Monthly Archives: February 2016

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More Heart Chakra Blasts

Today started out well enough and then by noon it was energy blasts to my high heart and heart center followed by a strange excitement/nervousness/panic – in that order. lol These would come in at an angle from my back through to the front in waves that lasted anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes. Afterward, I became very hot and thirsty and had to lay down several times on the floor to ground. My throat, crown and third eye were all buzzing with energy. I also found I could not go near the computer as it would trigger a weird panic. This also happened around the TV and other large electronics. A first for me and just plain weird!

By 4pm things began to settle and now I feel almost normal except that now that I am typing and sitting at my PC my heart is doing weird things again and I have energy around the back of my head.

Also, a strange thing happened to me this morning, prior to all this heart activity. While making breakfast I froze mid-egg-breaking as a knowingness hit me – hard. I suddenly knew that very soon I am going to be asked to move on to my next step. One of these happened in April 2014 and another happened in October 2002. The former was a tear-jerking realization and message from my Team. The latter was an actual command to “Get out now”. I guess this was part of the message I got to “Get er’ done” earlier today. Pretty funny then, not so much now.

I don’t know if the heart chakra blasts are connected to this sudden knowing or not. I was not too happy in getting this knowing because this next step/move is a very uncomfortable one. I hope beyond hope that I get more time to sort things, but sadly, the way these instances have worked out in the past, things really move. FAST.

Now that things are settling I feel like a major shift just occurred. I don’t know exactly what it means or what happened, but I can feel it. Something major just cleared out.

Oh and just so happens the K-Index is still in the red. STILL. Geez!

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Astrology and Relationships

As you know I have been led to review my past and then this morning the suggestion was given again. I tend to constantly look at my past anyway, but specific areas have been brought to my attention lately.

Relationships

Yeah, this is a big one for us all. Who doesn’t have a relationship of some sort? We are literally born into them and they keep coming after that.

I have not had a ton of romantic relationships. I love astrology so I am going to post the various “signs” that I hooked up with. Just to remind you, my sun is in Leo, my moon in Sagittarius and my rising in Aquarius.

Aries

I married my first love and so was tied up in that one for a good 10 years from the age of 17 to 26. He was an Aries with a Capricorn moon. I can’t remember his ascendant now. He was mostly Capricorn – workaholic. Always gone. Very career-oriented and ambitious. My job was to get him on track with his career because he had some major confidence issues. That’s it. I knew it when we met and I knew it when I left him and broke his heart. He just recently moved past that hurt. I could also read him like a book. Who can psychically read their spouse/partner? Me, apparently.

Virgo

I jumped into a relationship right after my divorce. He was a Virgo and I don’t remember much. He was my rebound, of course. I do recall he was very clean – anal retentive. He also had some weird habits, etc. He ended up cheating on me – just a make-out session. Bye bye Virgo rebound.

Aquarius

Aquarians are by far my favorite I have to say. The one I met was my first ever intense connection. I wouldn’t call it a heart connection but it was intense. He was married and much older (10yrs?) than me and his energy made me shake uncontrollably. He came onto me and I made dumb decisions. Turns out it was a past life, karmic connection that played out perfectly (husband in 1920s that killed me). In retrospect, I believe he was learning more than I was.

Taurus

This was another intense relationship but all sexual. All I will say is I don’t want to go there again, no matter how amazing the sex was. It’s not worth it. Lesson learned.

Cancer

I dated only one man younger than me. In this case he was a Cancerian and 7 years younger then me. Such wonderful, loving and gentle energy. Unfortunately, I got easily bored with him. Sigh. In retrospect, I really needed that at the time. Slow down.Take it easy. Feel. Yeah right! hahaha

Libra

This one is complicated as I wasn’t really in a relationship with him, except that I was. Kinda. lol He was 12 years older than me and I was in the middle of my Dark Night at the time. We could talk about anything – great mental connection. However, I was not attracted to him like he was me. We should have just been friends. We would have been great friends but I was very lonely at the time. I messed this one up royally and know I will have to revisit the karma created in a future life. He is still very, very angry at me and he should be.

Pisces 

Not a good match. That’s all I will say. LOL

Scorpio

Really nice energy, awesome sex drive, not too much of a talker – more of a feeler. I got bored, though, as expected. 😦 He was really a nice guy. Maybe that was the problem? He was one of the few to break up with me. I don’t do well with being the one broken up with. LOL I was not very nice to him I’m ashamed to say. 😦

Gemini

My current husband is a Gemini with a Leo moon and a Libra ascendant. Actually he is a Taurus-Gemini cusp. I think sometimes he is more Taurus and other times more Gemini. I prefer the Gemini even thought the high energy is a bit overwhelming sometimes. When I had our charts done I was told we were a perfect astrological match. I don’t know about that or even what it means, but we do get along well for the most part. My husband is very intense, like me, and our main attraction to one another was mental. We both philosophize and are into spirituality. I use to could talk to him for hours. He is very stubborn and persistent. I will say I have never been with someone more stubborn than me until now. The stubborn streak must be the Taurus. He exhausts me. He won’t let me run out of an argument. I tend to try and escape him because of his energy during a fight and he will corner me. Not good to do to a Leo on the run! Out come the claws as you can guess. So yeah, let’s just say we are volatile under the right circumstances.

Family

My children came into my life to ground me I think. My daughter is a double Taurus. My middle some a double Capricorn (double meaning sun/moon). My youngest must be here to stir things up. He is a double Aries. Firecracker. lol

My mom is a Libra with Leo moon. We are best friends. My older sister is Sagittarius with Aquarius moon but I can’t remember her ascendant. We’ve had some grand times together. My youngest sister is an Aries with Cancer moon. She is probably the moodiest Aries I have ever met. lol My dad was a Scorpio and had trouble showing his emotions. My grandparents were both Libras. I had/have a very strong connection with my grandfather. I didn’t know my grandparents on my father’s side.

My in-law relationships have been interesting as well. My ex’s parents were Sagittarius and Libra. I didn’t get alone with his mom which was a Sag. She was passive-aggressive. I loved his Dad. My current husband has only a mother left and she is a Libra. We get along great. My brother-in-laws are Aries and Virgo and my sister-in-laws are Aries and Sagittarius. I get along with them all.

Friends

I haven’t had many close friends in my life. I tend to be friends with my husband/partner and am not overly social (introverted for the most part). I was very social during my Dark Night, but mostly with my sister and her friends. I, personally, just tagged along and learned very quickly that I was not into what my sister was into. Lesson learned.

My best friends tend to be fire signs. So far Leo and Aries win out here.

Conclusion

Relationship-wise, I do best with air signs followed by fire signs. I really connect with air signs on a mental level and for me, this is where the ultimate connection happens anyway. I am very intense energy-wise, too. When I love someone, it is all out and I have heard many times, “You are too intense”. LOL Fire signs tend to bring out my sexual side and, while this is nice and all, I lose interest because there has to be that mental connection for me. This is why my first marriage failed (among other things). He was not much of a conversationalist.

Earth signs are OK but tend to make me want to stay home all the time, which is okay if that is what I want to do. They are great friends, though. Ultimately I will get bored or fed up with an Earth sign. Water signs are great pacifiers of my energy but for a relationship they are a no-go. I will just stomp all over them and their sensitive feelings.

 

 

 

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Some Suggestions

Whew! The energies are blasting away, aren’t they? Thankfully, I slept right through them….kinda. Look at all that RED!

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I could not go to sleep last night. I kept feeling this pit of anxiety in my solar plexus and then the three Beings who call themselves Yeshua came to visit and my crown started lighting up as did my third-eye. They scared the crap out of me for some reason and, though they told me “Don’t be afraid”, I couldn’t help it. They backed off and then all chakra sensation and accompanying feeling vanished. I felt “normal”.

I didn’t sleep well. I had dreams of being in a prison with another person and there being this vent from which I heard someone constantly calling my name. I kept putting my hands over my ears to not hear them. On the outside people were being “infected” with a “virus” that caused them to go insane. They would take over other people’s bodies by killing them and entering when the body was dying. Not nice! I was happy to be in my prison cell and away from the chaos.

Then I was in a green field with a man who was wearing all white and was exceptionally tall and Andromedan-looking. There was a cat with us, a white one. We (me and the cat) spotted a ground squirrel at the same exact moment. I told the cat to leave it alone but it began to stalk it. I remember watching the squirrel jump about but I kept calling it a gopher. I spoke to the tall man about the cat but can’t remember now what I said.

When I awoke I knew I needed to do some things. I want to share them with you all as they are things we probably all should do.

  • Avoid all media outlets. In fact, I am going to take a break from FB. The virus dream really hit home. There is a major rush of negative energy (Team Dark or whatever) and they are “taking over” people who are susceptible. They do this via the media – any media. Thankfully I don’t watch real TV (we stream) and I don’t visit Yahoo news anymore (learned the hard way). FB is really the only place I see local news.
  • Clean up! Clean up your eating, clean up your relationships, clean up your life. Pronto! Ouch! This one hit me hard. Looks like another fast is in my future. Sigh. I won’t go into the relationship or life part just yet.
  • Take a good long look at your past. Again. Patterns are coming up that you need to see. Don’t avoid them. Look.at.them. Very closely. Scrutinize them.
  • As some say in Texas – “Get ‘er done”. Time to tie up loose ends and get working on future projects that you never seemed to have time to start. Make your move. Take action. Do you feel the push? Yeah, that message is for YOU.
  • Listen to and pay attention to the feelings that come up for inspection. Allow yourself to feel them – the good and the bad. The key is to not react/respond to them, but allow them to come to the surface and then release them to emotion-land or wherever they go. They will likely come back. If they do, just do that releasing thing again as many times as you need to.
  • Pull the Light in through your crown as often as you can. However you do that – do it. I imagine a stream of golden-white energy pouring into my crown and going down into my toes and then back into my crown. A complete circuit of golden Light. BTW doing this will bring up those emotions. Yeah, fun, right? lol

I will let you know how I do with all these “suggestions”. Many have been a work in progress so I doubt there will be any revelations coming real soon.

 

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Missing the Missing Piece

So it seems the energy has shifted once again. This time I felt it shift yesterday, mid-morning. I had a knot in my solar plexus and knew something was about to happen. I hate that feeling.

The day was okay considering I kept myself busy. I drove to my Mom’s with my three children and we spent a lot of time outdoors. It was a brilliant day in Texas. Spring is in the air and the temps are superb! Yet throughout this visit I felt sucked dry of energy and lethargic. All I wanted to do was hide in the house but when I did that I would become restless. So it was out in the sunshine for me.

Thankfully, I was completely alert and without brain fog while driving. However, since my mood had shifted, I did not feel like singing along to my music like I usually do. Life just seemed empty, as did I. Ugh.

When I went to bed I asked for clarity on some things. I had returned once again to feeling like my life was incomplete; that I was incomplete. I hate that feeling and it has haunted me all of my life. There is nothing worse than to feel a piece of you has been lost; like there is a gaping hole inside your heart that nothing can fill.

 

The Missing Piece

I had a long conversation with my Team during the night and woke up at 4am extremely sad and asking why I couldn’t exit this life. It all felt too hard. I didn’t want to feel the emptiness anymore. How can anyone live with such a feeling?! How had I lived with the feeling for so long?

I knew I had tried to fill the hole with everything imaginable – possessions, relationships, children, careers, hobbies, etc. Nothing ever filled it, it just made it less painfully obvious. I also know this hole had been present in all my past lives. Where was the missing piece? How do I get it back?

I fell to sleep and entered a dream in which I was inside a person’s apartment. It was a tiny apartment and very clean – everything in its place. It was tiny like a guest house or maybe an efficiency apartment. The occupant arrived and caught me there. He was young and fearful. At first he was blonde and fair but then he turned dark haired and familiar to me.

For some reason I went up to him and began to tell him about himself. He was reclusive – like a hermit. He did this to avoid others and their emotions as he was an empath. He preferred animals because they did not judge and only offered pure love and acceptance. I reached out and grabbed both his hands and looked him directly in the eyes and asked him to “read” me. He wouldn’t. So I told him more about himself and explained why he was feeling what he was feeling. I remember feeling like he and I were very similar. I told him some of his future but while doing so I could see the words I was saying scripted on a holographic screen in front of me. The words vanished and I heard, “System overload. Simulation terminated.” It was really weird!

Then I saw a group of people on the sideline – like an audience. I went to join them and knew we were a “group”. I remember associating us with super heroes calling us the Avengers (lol). The young boy was part of our group but not yet ready to join us.

When I awoke I could feel the emptiness inside very strongly and felt a bubble of energy from my root chakra down to my knees. Then I burst into tears.

I really, really hate the feeling. My understanding is that this missing piece is me missing my Wholeness. I miss Home. It is extremely noticeable right now.

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Into the Abyss

I awoke at 4am wide awake and with a very interesting Being nearby. If you have ever seen the movie The Abyss, then you get an idea of what I saw this morning. She looked like a luminescent butterfly.

I have seen the movie so many times I’ve nearly got it memorized. It’s one of my favorites. And look at what year it was released! 1989. There’s that year again. hahaha I have no doubt now that I saw the “luminescent butterfly” this morning just to remind me of this movie, and likely the year as well. Makes me want to watch it again. 🙂

Also when I awoke I had energy all over my body. It was very similar to what I feel when I return to or leave my body and astral travel. It wasn’t vibrations, just residual energy and very intense, too.

My heart chakra was also pulling very intensely and the warmth was still radiating out like it was yesterday. I began to hear light language in my mind. It was coming through me and I could hear the syllables and intonation. I just allowed it, as it was me mentally saying it. I felt it was an introduction and then a kind of activation sequence. I had an urge to record it, but I was too lazy to get up.  Plus it is all audio and I am not sure yet how to make an audio clip.

As this light language was coming through me, I once again saw the symbol I saw yesterday and started mentally painting it in my head. I kept thinking I needed to paint it, but I’m not very good at painting. With that thought I was receiving instruction on what colors to use and techniques. It was really weird. lol

I kept drifting into the in-between and bringing back information. Most of it is lost to me now but the feeling is still there. I was discussing clearing my “bodies” and I recall seeing layers of me, like frequencies I have been ascending through, or descending depending on how you look at it. I felt that my lower chakras were occupied by a different energy, a different vibration than even a week ago. There was knowing here that this was purposeful – that it had to do with the clearing process.

Dream: Taking the Wheel

I had many dreams that all stayed with me upon waking. In one I was driving a very futuristic type of vehicle. In the dream I refered to it as a “car” but it looked more like the inside of a space craft. There was a long, black dash that was approximately six feet long. I struggled to steer it and was receiving instruction from my deceased grandmother of all people. lol I realized there was a steering wheel at heart level that I was able to activate just by intention. It moved out and connected at chest level. It looked like a horizontal “I” – nothing like a car steering wheel. Once I grabbed hold of the ends, all my steering difficulties vanished and I successfully hovered/flew through various tunnels that were dark and streaked with light. I flew very, very fast.

Dream: Transplantation

I landed my “craft” at a vineyard. I could see row upon row of grape vines. It reminded me of Napa.

My task was to transplant a sapling of some sort. It had been uprooted and was withering quickly. I positioned it among adult grape vines. There was a significance to this that was palpable in the dream. I felt whatever I was doing was a big accomplishment.

Considerations

I know I have not been posting my dreams lately, but I wanted to share these two because they go along with how I felt when I awoke. I felt very different when I woke up – as if my vibration shifted dramatically in the night or something. There was a silent conversation between myself and my Team – streaming in through my heart chakra. I felt a significant shift had taken place. My Team was new to go along with the “new” me. I knew they would be helping me from now on.

There was also a feeling that I was transferred (like the sapling) into this body; trying it on or getting a feel for it. Acclimating. I believe, and I know it sounds crazy, that the craft in my dream symbolizes this change. This is very much connected to the K energy I had a few days ago in the lower chakras and heart chakra. There was a connection made, like roots into the ground except that it was a higher aspect taking root and establishing a solid foundation. I still feel like me, just different. It is hard to explain.

 

 

 

 

 

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Valentine’s Day Creative Streak

Yesterday was spectacular energy-wise for me. I was overflowing with creative energy and my heart chakra was so full of love that I felt I felt I would burst. I have never felt so connected!

I rarely paint, yet I felt the need to paint what I saw that morning and did so very quickly and effortlessly. There were more paintings wanting to come out, but my family needed me and I could not indulge in painting more than one. The one above is a painting of the ball of light I saw in my vision that morning. I couldn’t get it out of my head. It is far from a realistic interpretation of my vision, but I did my best. 🙂

I also had light language symbols in my head all day. One in particular that I never got around the painting. I don’t know if I will be able to today because all my kids are home today (school holiday) making it very difficult to do things for myself.

The creative streak also had me making videos. I think I made three one after the other yesterday. I hid in the bathroom to get privacy and avoid interruption. LOL

This morning I am still feeling the energy and my heart chakra continues to feel full of a warmth and love beyond words. I am told today is a “rest” day. The energies will once again peak next Thursday into Friday. I have already been warned and now, so have you. 🙂

 

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Hybrid Child

This particular upgrade has been uniquely different for me. This morning I am experiencing a similar sensation to May, 2015. With it I am also having chakra activations throughout my body that re-stimulate emotions that I normally would not be feeling. I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, my throat tightens, my heart pulls causing an anxious feeling, my head feels weird, the areas on either side of my nose are buzzing, and my arms are tingling like I put icy hot on them. Yet at the same time there is a feeling of not being alone and that there are messages that need to be passed on. I also keep feeling like I am going to zone out or pass out.

Hybrid Child

I wanted to share with you part of the information I received in my dreams last night. In one dream I met with my “child”. I picked him out from a set of photographs because I recognized him and saw myself in him. When we met he was taller than me, approximately 5’8″. He acknowledged me as his mother but he did not know who his father was. I did not know either but I could see myself in him and kept touching his face in awe. He was approximately 17-18 years old and he looked very much like a mulatto – very light skin and dark, frizzy hair. His eyes were vivid green, though. He was absolutely beautiful!

We met inside a small room. In my dream it was my old bathroom from when I was growing up. lol He and I conversed for some time. He told me, “I’m still growing. I will eventually be over 6 feet tall.” He specifically said he would end up being 6’2″. I remember being very proud of him and I just could not stop touching his face. He looked completely human to me, yet I knew he was a hybrid – all of the “children” I saw in the photos were hybrids.

There was discussion then about this age group being overly sensitive to changes in the environment, changes in energy, and any upset to the chemical balance in their bodies. There was emphasis on their need to maintain balance in their bodies because they hold such a high vibration and need to maintain this vibration. I got the feeling they were already here on Earth – living alongside us, looking just like us. It blew my mind!

A Hybridization Program?

When I awoke I immediately wanted to know if I had been part of the hybrid program. Why else would I see my “son” and know he was a hybrid? This was when I was told I am part of the “work” They are doing. This work is of the genetic kind. I had no doubt then that my DNA had been used in the creation of hybrid children. Perhaps this beautiful boy I met was indeed a part of me?

What was really surprising to me is that these children are already among us! How it is possible that my DNA would be used to do this without me actually being pregnant and giving birth is beyond me. I suspect it is spliced into the DNA of the child prior to birth, at the very beginning around conception. Did my DNA get substituted in for the mother’s? Or were just pieces of it inserted somehow? I just don’t fully understand how this beautiful boy could be my son. It blows my mind! The love I felt for him was genuine. I loved him like I love my other children.

All this time my heart is blazing and I have this strange energy settling over me that makes me feel something big is about to happen. I am strangely excited/anxious for it to happen, too.

 

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The Next Stage of “Contact” has been Initiated

The three Beings who have been in communication with me for a while now came forward again this morning. It was quite unexpected a I was wide awake when contact was made. They introduced themselves with a very vivid vision. In it I saw are large, almost moon-sized sphere of light fly in from the left of my visual field, slowly move across my line of sight and then stop on the right side of my visual field. The sphere glowed and did not have clearly defined edges. It also contained a myriad of colors blending and swirling within it. I was able to differentiate the colors blue, pink and yellow but there were more.

Upon seeing this I became completely alert and tensed up. Though wide awake at the time, I felt energy sensations in varying areas of my body. My legs felt energized as did my arms and there was a major concentration of energy located right behind my left ear that spread across the entire back of my head (temporal/Broca’s area and occipital lobes). My third-eye and heart chakras were buzzing as well. Note: As this is not my first experience like this, I theorize that these Beings are able to manipulate/activate certain areas of the brain to better communicate and initiate contact.

This time the voice of the three Beings was much closer and I had an immediate fear reaction which then turned to shame. I felt Them request to move closer and I just could not agree to this. The closer They got the more my fear kicked in and since I couldn’t control it distance was needed.

They asked what I thought of seeing Them (as a sphere of light) and if I believed I could handle such an encounter in the physical. I honestly didn’t know how to answer but I feel if it was merely a sphere of light that I would probably not go hide in a corner. lol But if I felt Them in conjunction with seeing the sphere I likely would have a fear reaction. The sensation They bring is so huge and overwhelmingly alien that it is hard to not reject it.

They then began to show me bits and pieces of the bodies They occupy when “working” on me in the in-between and/or OOB. I had seen such images before and rejected them, thinking I had made them up. But here they were again just focused on specific parts. For example, I was shown their eyes very close up. They were large, almond-shaped, dark eyes with no whites and when they blinked they had two eyelids that came together in the center. They also had a third eyelid that was clear and covered the entire eye.

grayblue

This is the color of their skin.

I was shown their skin up close. It was grayish-blue and tended to shimmer in the light, making it look more blue than gray. It was also very porous and rough-looking compared to our skin; less elastic and supple.

Then I was shown the neck area and told it was a hand’s width (four fingers) in length – my hand anyway. This is narrower than a human neck. I saw a windpipe, though.

I began to reject these images at this time. I guess I was just too conscious and could not accept that any of what I was being shown could possibly be real. Despite this, I was given information that I did not ask for. lol

Communication: They are telepathic with the use of a symbolic “alphabet”. The symbols, when sent, are imbued with the essence of the Being who is sending them. It is like the symbols contain the backstory or the history that goes along with the message. The symbols are also not two dimensional, though to us they would seem so. I saw they were three dimensional with depth.

Collective Consciousness: They are all connected to one another, though they are also individuals. They always feel the collective; are one with the collective. Their knowing is so much more developed than our own. Some part of me remembered this connection with a collective consciousness and it made me wonder if I was one of them. I was told I was not, that I was called in to help Earth, as were many others.

Objective: They reiterated that they are the caretakers of humanity, but this time they explained that they are also collecting genetic information (thus their “work” on me). I saw/heard/knew that They were here when “Atlantis was evacuated”. Their role was the “preparation of the evacuees”. With this came an image of a great flash of light. They shared with me that they and two other E.T. species are preparing to make contact – are making contact currently. I tried to get a name for their species but all I was able to ascertain is that they are a “hybrid” race and have been observing humanity since the very beginning. The other two races I was shown but not given names. One looks very much human and the other also has human characteristics. I was reminded of Bashar and the Essassani and Yahyel. Perhaps these are the other two races?

Message: They came to tell us that this next stage in “contact” has been initiated. Contact with those who have been adequately upgraded will commence. Those with which They have already made contact can expect more contact, contact which will be more revealing and “real” to the contactee. Those who have yet acknowledged that they have been contacted by an other worldly Being will now be presented with more visuals and experiences which definitively points to contact of an extraterrestrial nature.

It was clarified that the contactees are few; that only those who have been “adequately upgraded” will experience contact. Therefore, the majority will be oblivious to Them. Others, those not yet ready to acknowledge such contact, will continue with their development/upgrades until they are ready for contact. Some of this group never will be, though.

Warning: They gave me a warning to share. They are very concerned about the increase in the use of recreational drugs. Specifically, certain drugs that are widely popular (marijuana specifically) and now becoming “legal” can be detrimental to individuals who are being upgraded. They remind us that the use of hallucinogens and psychedelics should be limited; used only in times when the individual is needing spiritual guidance or looking for specific answers. I saw a visual of Native American uses of similar drugs and the reverence they are given. This is how these drugs are meant to be used. To overuse or abuse these drugs (use them on a regular basis rather than once every few years or more) can make the individual very vulnerable and expose them to issues they are not yet ready to confront. It also enhances the Egoic reaction to stimuli. Thus, fear and paranoia can result. How can They contact us without inciting fear if we are under the influence of such drugs?

I was reminded of my own experience with such drugs, years ago, and understood immediately the truth behind Their warnings. If you are a contactee or are on the path to ascension and receiving upgrades, avoid these drugs like the plague. They will only set you back. They will induce fear, exacerbate the Ego, and could result in a psychotic break. This can also be true of certain psychiatric meditations such as: anti-anxiety medications (Xanax), various anti-psychotic medications, as well as stimulant medications (Adderal).

 

 

 

 

 

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The Fragmented Self

There was much behind-the-scenes work going on last night, not just for me but many others. We are preparing for the ultimate shift, one in which we will be completely transformed. How many are going through this? I am unsure. All I know now is that my soul group are all going through this together. Some are a bit slower than others, but we are all transforming and at lightning speed, too.

I received a clearer understanding of my particular situation. I just woke up knowing it. My transformation is best termed a “walk-in” but the meaning of this was clarified for me (thank goodness!).

I am integrating a higher aspect. This kind of walk-in is very common and usually temporary. However, I feel my particular case is more permanent as there will be a complete exchange of one aspect (the old) with the other (the new). Currently I am “shedding” the layers that compose the “old” me. I have been asked to return to my past – to review memories, journals, etc. If you wish to follow this life review, you can visit my YouTube channel as I am making videos of what I find along the way.

I realized that this is part of the shedding process. A life review of sorts, preparing me for the exchange. It involves more healing and letting go. It is getting easier as I progress, too. I have been doing this healing for a  very, very long time.

The Fragmented Self

A memory from long ago surfaced this morning. I had previously been told by my Companion that I was “fragmented” and later referred to this as my “Fragmented Self”. Essentially, when life gets tough – the tough run and hide (lol) – or at least I do. When there is trauma, a part of Us splits off. This is coping mechanism and very well known in psychology. It was explained to me that I have to retrieve these fragments in order to become Whole. Some call this soul retrieval. I just call it hard work. lol

 I wrote about it in my blog on July 26, 2011. Here is what I wrote:

At some point, a part of me fragmented away from my self in order to create a me that would survive in this body and do well in life. Unfortunately, the memory of that event is strung out over many years [and lifetimes] and it will take time to regain. But with that memory will come clarity. The clarity is the de-fragmentation of my self. I have already felt the  beginnings of it. Tiny moments of complete and utter calmness and knowingness. It is beautiful. And I intend to get to the point where that calmness and clarity will stay. I intend to reunite myself with myself. I think I am on the right path, too.

All this time I have been retrieving fragments. All this time I have been healing a gaping wound that I have carried with me life after life.

I have experienced the return of these fragments over time. At first I just noticed something was “different” but in recent years I have actually felt these fragments return. These fragments are parts of me on other paths as well – my multidimensional aspects. They shattered and went other directions, into a different “times” or dimension. All of this also involves the collapsing of timelines. It is like all of who I thought I was, who I could be and who I am, is coalescing. As I get more parts, as the pieces come together, I begin to Remember more and this snowballs and more and more parts are returned to Me. It is really a beautiful thing.

Rebirth

In my dreams last night I was preparing for my rebirth. There was much discussion on what was coming. Unfortunately, I recall that the present personality that is in charge was not made fully aware. Thus, I was “sleeping” through much of the conversation. I recall snuggling up inside a sleeping bag while my “class” got on a bus to go on a field trip. There were moments when I tried very hard to wake myself up but the heaviness of sleep kept beckoning and I would ultimately give into it. It was during this “sleep” that the majority of the conversations (negotiations) were taking place. I am told that this is for my own protection as I am not yet ready to fully participate.

Every day I feel a little more of the new me and little less of the old me.

There is a feeling of anticipation along with fear with all of this. Who will I be when this is all over and done with? Also, what do I do then? What will my path be? So many questions arise. Yet at the same time I know that this exchange is ultimately the whole reason for this life and the ones leading up to it. I will be reborn into wholeness.

 

by

Lucid Group Meeting

Yesterday’s energies really hit me hard last night. I took a hot bath with Lavender essential oil and then tried to sleep but was wide awake. My ears began to ring intensely at this time. This was one of those ear ringing episodes where it felt like pressure inside my head and the sound kept getting louder and then softer, louder, softer. This went on for the longest I have ever experienced ear ringing and my third-eye was intensely pulling. I quieted my mind and tried to focus on the ringing and that caused my crown to start to pull with energy as well. At this point it had mostly been my left ear but then my right ear started to ring as well and the sounds joined in the center of my mind. It was like they were located just behind my nose area. I could see a pyramid shape from my eyes and nose to this singular point in the middle of my brain. The sounds were of multiple pitches and it was extraordinary!

I am told I am perceiving frequency fluctuations within my energy body. This was first told to me in the middle of the day yesterday by on of my Team members. I had noticed his voice was very distorted and low. It was like one of those voice distorting devices used on cop shows. I had heard this before, years ago while OOB and it had totally freaked me out because I had thought it was a “bad” thing, like a “demon” (how naive). After this, I continued to hear his voice in my mind in this way. So, apparently these intense shifts in vibration/frequency this time around are really impacting my perceptions!

Lucid Group Meeting

I slept very hard and had numerous dreams.Rather than go into the dreams, I will continue to look behind the dream at what was really going on. My guidance is telling me this is the best way to look at my dreams now.

After waking at around 1am I asked to project. I felt this was denied but didn’t care and went back to sleep.

I found myself attending a gathering of “family”. I remember there being 7 of us but more were on their way. The locations was a very beautiful estate out in a secluded area. The house itself was reminiscent of a place I had seen on a trip to L.A. as was the grounds on which it was located. Everything was green and pristine.

I went up to a group who was standing on the veranda that overlooked rolling hills and a large swimming pool. We were discussing the year 1989 (why does this year keep coming up!?). In the dream, someone had gone missing around this time and we were talking about him. We talked about him as if he were my father. I thought of all the people I was with as my “brothers and sisters”.

This is when I met a young man whom I referred to as my “step-brother”. He appeared younger than I with long, curly dark blonde hair. The hair style he was wearing was like something out of the 70’s disco era. lol When we met we exchanged information automatically. It was like I had his whole life story in my head!

He told me he was born in 1962 (why did he look so young then!?) and was very proud of a car he owned – now an antique. A Ford something or rather, I think a Mustang. I remember knowing that most of my “group” came into bodies before me. I had been delayed because I had to abort my last life in 1971 (so I had been born in the 60s). Most of my group, then, are in their late 40’s to early 60’s. Makes me feel a bit left behind. lol

At this time another member of my group made herself known. She was an Asian woman with long black hair who also appeared young. I didn’t get info from her like I did the man, but she did show me part of her life. She had been to China or lived there and was “of service” to others. She was drinking a cup of tea when we were talking. It was in a small, porcelain cup.

Then my attention was focused back on the man who seemed genuinely interested in “catching up”. He showed me that he had gone through a tough time with his Earth family. Someone had died and not left a will and there was conflict in the family because of this. It felt like a really negative situation. I felt bad for him.

Then he embraced me and, since I felt I had known him forever, I embraced him back. I was very lucid at this point and remember that he wanted more than just a hug. It was like he was asking for permission to be more than just a brother to me. Kind of weird! But then I was open to this. Talk about incest! LOL

We kissed and I reached around and put my hands up under his shirt and embraced him. I could feel everything as if I was in the physical. I felt his shoulders and back and I could feel his lips and tongue as we kissed. I was fully into all of it, too, without any concern about cheating on my husband. It was really nice and so perfectly real!

We made out for a long time it seemed and I had no sexual urges turn on. My heart, however, was blazing intensely. This intensity is what ultimately woke me up. As I awoke I could still feel him and taste his lips. I did not want to wake up.

Soul Family

When I awoke I asked the guide who was present, “Who was he? Is he in a physical body?” I heard the name “David” and knew he was in a physical body right now. I was told that most of my group are in bodies presently.

I was then reminded that I had been told They were going to help me with my reaction to “family” so that I would not be overwhelmed (like I was in yesterday’s K experience). I realized that this lucid dream was exactly that. I felt a similar attraction to this man but I did not feel overwhelmed. There was no repulsion whatsoever. I felt connected to him – as if we were two branches of the same tree. There was a wholeness present – a feeling that his experiences were mine and mine were his. I specifically remember feeling that he was a brother to me. This is not the first time I have felt such a connection.

I was reminded of the ReUnion message I got not long ago. There was Knowing that we were all going to come together and I had to be ready for this. “Ready” in this particular instance means I need to not overreact because many recognitions and feelings will arise for all involved. I have little concern if the reUnion is similar to this dream. However, if it is like the previous night’s dream I think I would pass out from such a meeting. LOL

I also thought about the message I got that this summer was going to be “hot”. It appears that I am already heading down that road. If I keep having dreams like this one it is likely I will be one hot and bothered woman by this summer. hahaha!