Had healing dreams last night and woke up in tears from one. I’m not really surprised because I asked for healing prior to sleep and also asked what I needed to do.

Dream: Rebuild

I don’t remember many details now except that I was walking down a hallway with someone who was holding my hand. The hallway was brightly lit with a main wall to my right that was so high I could not see the top. The wall had a massive screen upon it that seemed not to have an end to it.

My companion and I were in deep conversation about my experiences with my heart connection. The words we spoke translated into songs in the dream and I could hear the music and the lyrics, though both are lost to memory now. To my right the screen played images and shed a golden light upon us.

The song spoke of how broken I felt inside, of the utter destruction of my heart. The visual of a forest that had been destroyed from above is prominent, the trees nothing but burned stumps of various heights, the ground scorched, the sky grey. Tears streamed down my face as the song and imagery played through my entire Beingness. The desolation within re-experienced yet again, as if to remind me there is no way to hide. 

The song spoke of letters being written. I remember hearing the word “letters” distinctly. The communication between parts, both within and without, was my understanding. I was reminded of the past and all the communication between us. I had saved all the emails only to one day find them all deleted and irretrievable. 

The love I felt returned to me. I remember saying, “I’ve never loved someone like that.” It was so clear, so obvious, so completely correct. At the time it felt like my entire purpose in this human body and lifetime was to experience that love. So when it became clear I was wrong, that everything I felt to be true was false, it decimated my heart.

The song continued and blended into another. The song, “Angel” came to mind in the dream, though the melodies and lyrics did not match. 

I asked a question about what could be done. It was clear from the visual of the destruction that there was no way to recover what had been lost. The answer I had upon waking was “rebuild” or “rebirth”, the two seemed as one word. In other words, I would have to start from scratch.

Considerations

Upon waking I had to wipe the tears from my eyes repeatedly. I couldn’t stop crying and even when I returned to sleep I would awaken from a wet pillow. 

There were other dreams in the night but none so emotional as this one. Since it was at the beginning of the night, by morning the emotion and desolated feeling are now undetectable. 

I vaguely recall talking about the path to rebuilding my shattered heart. It was only through love that it could be healed. Divine Love. The very love that I desire but also fear and dread. 

“Angel“

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh, beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh, and weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here