Monthly Archives: January 2023

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Disturbing Spirit Encounter

Went out to my mom’s yesterday to measure the RV for a flatscreen in the bedroom. It will fit a 40in! Taking out the old, bulky TV was not difficult but we made the mistake of taking out the larger one over the front. It was as if they built the shelving around the TV. My husband had to knock it hard to get it to come free. Unfortunately, it revealed a huge hole containing wires and such. We also found a handful of loose change and a country CD from 2000. lol

The cleanup was messy but I got most of the debris with the vacuum and broom. We need to take our upright vacuum out there to suck up some of the sawdust. My husband had to use a circular saw to cut two hanging boards and so there is dust all over the front end.

The idea in the back is to mount the TV and use the space behind it for storage. We’re not quite sure how we are going to do that yet. Either we build a “secret door” and mount the TV to it or we just mount the TV at the back of the open shelf and position it to cover the opening. 

In the front, well IDK. My husband wants to take the RV to an RV Shop and see if they can fix it and some other things. He should call and find out today (if he remembers). If I have extra time I might start in the bedroom with painting the walls and maybe the cabinets. I most definitely want to paint the walls. It may be a big undertaking, though, so not sure if I should if I am going to be sleeping in there.

We walked up on the hill of our soon-to-be 6.2 acre plot. I thought there use to be a road up there but if there was it was overgrown. My step-father was there and walked with us. He said it will be hard to get electric to the spots I have picked out. He said the electric company is very specific about where they place new poles. My husband suggested we just do it ourselves, running it undergrown alongside the waterpipe once we figure out where we will build. We agreed that a clearing should be done selectively, preserving as many trees (even the junipers) as possible so that it maintains the wild look we like. My husband wants it to resemble a lodge we frequent, with trails and sitting areas all about. I like his idea.

Good news is that the Wi-Fi is good enough for me to work from the RV when I am there! Yay! I plan to go out next week, probably Wednesday after I’ve cut checks for the week. I’ll stay the rest of the week and into the weekend. It will be a nice break. I might request a work laptop rather than try to use my tiny laptop like I did in Costa Rica. The keyboard is smaller and the screen not big enough for what I need. Regardless, it is good to know the internet is not going to be an issue. 

My spirits are way up compared to what they have been because of the plans with the RV and land. My husband even commented saying that he is pleased to see me so happy and it makes him want to do more in terms of creating a retreat space for me. This is very good news because he has been reluctant to help me up until now.

The bad news is that our tax bill is likely to be extremely high this year. Plus we have a loan recapture payment. With both we may end up with nothing in savings. Without the cash, building a cabin will take longer. I don’t want to get a loan for many reasons, mainly to avoid a mortgage payment but also because loans have requirements that will force us to make the cabin like any other house. I want it to be off-grid and I won’t make any compromises. My plan is to have solar panels with electric available but only as back-up. I don’t want a septic at all. Mortgages require a septic and in this area an aerated system, which is costly and requires a contract with a company to maintain it.

Sleep Disturbance

Around midnight last night I was awakened by something a bit disturbing. I was dreaming and remember a woman grabbing both my breasts, holding them in her hands and pressing hard against my chest. She was also shaking me a bit as if trying to get me to move. I remember her saying, “I hate you!” I don’t remember the dream aspect of it too vividly, just the very real feeling of her “attack”. I told her to stop and she wouldn’t listen. This is when I woke up.

When I awoke I could still feel her hands on my breasts but the pressure and pushing had stopped. I sent a mental query in case she was actually present. I heard back, “This is my house!” There was quite a bit of anger and I figured she was probably an Earthbound. I told her, “No it’s not. Now get out!” 

Eventually I had to get up and use the restroom and when I returned to bed I put up protection around my bedroom and then the entire house. I also said the Lord’s Prayer just in case because I could still feel her energy around. I told her one final time to go away and then returned to sleep and had no more encounters with her.

Strangely my children have been having odd encounters now and again. I laughed them off because they seemed minor. My daughter actually just had one a few nights ago. She said she could hear someone breathing right next to her had while she was laying in bed. She said it freaked her out and when I asked if she was afraid she said no. She said she just ignored it and fell asleep. I thought she might be asleep when this happened but she told me she had just gotten up to use the bathroom and was wide awake. I told her it seemed like someone in Spirit was attempting to scare her and to just ignore it, reminding her that they can’t hurt her.

I’ve decided to smudge the house just in case. I’ve had Spirit encounters in this house before but nothing like what I experienced last night. When I first started going OOB I had similar experiences and my house was a Spirit hot-spot with actual sightings (my BIL saw a man standing in my window, I heard the man yell at me and also saw him move the blinds to get my attention). 

Featured image is the entrance to the road leading to the back acreage (trees way in the background).

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2023

Happy New Year!

I hope this year turns out better than last. 2022 was heavy!

What I learned from 2022:

I don’t like living in crowded places. I need space, a place where all I see is nature and the only sounds are of wildlife and the trees. 

I’m bitter and the only way to release that bitterness is to give myself more space. I don’t have time to waste on feeling that way. I prefer to focus on feeling joy.

I am loved. I am blessed.

Wanting only leads to suffering. Gratitude and humility lead to peace.

Silence is my friend.

Healing is possible, just give it time (and in my case, space).

Everything I need/want is right where I am.

The only thing holding me back is myself.

Listen more and say less. When I listen people open up to me and invitations are more frequent.

Abundance is a state of mind. 

What I accomplished:

I recognized and released an old pattern related to my relationships with my mother and siblings. It is not something that is gone completely but now that is it recognized I can prevent it from tainting the rest of my life.

We paid off our mortgage!

I’ve made peace with my MIL and our interactions are pleasant and enjoyable.

I’m developing a healthier relationship with money. I’m more generous and less triggered by it in general. This is a lesson that I brought into this life and continue to work on. 

2023

Last years goals were accomplished but I chose to not pursue the HD Analyst path because it did not feel 100% to me. Mostly the fact that it is profit-driven put me off, but also that the program asks that students memorize info and then are tested on their memory that really put me off. They discourage analysts from using their intuition during readings and want them to regurgitate verbatim what is written. I am intuitive BY DESIGN so this just won’t work for me.

The RV we purchased was not utilized by me until the very end of the year. It was only recently that I got to enjoy it. I spent three days in nature on familiar, family land. There are small issues that need to be resolved but all in all the experience was very good for me. I immediately felt relief and the time spent in nature did me a ton of good. I wish I had used the RV more but this last week was the only time I really felt drawn to use it. I’m glad I did!

I was not able to train a new AP manager and move into the CFO position. Mostly this is because I am not the only one involved in the decision but also because of the difficulty in finding a suitable replacement. What I learned is that the younger applicants are quick to quit if they encounter any difficulties. We hired and lost two applicants. The younger one, a Millennial, lasted a week and a half, complaining because he couldn’t get a raise (he was just hired!) and demanding to work-from-home. The other one, a Gen X’r, enjoyed her job but got odd sicknesses so frequently that she finally resigned (in two weeks). Both I had to train, which was exhausting and challenging. In the end I decided it was just easier to put an end to the search. 

So one out of two goals were met. Not good odds but then I usually don’t set goals anyway. In my experience, life doesn’t work to well when I try to force something to happen. It works much better if I listen and trust my inner guidance.

I am still not certain about my work path at the moment but I am okay with it. There are just too many positives, specifically that I can work-from-home and do not have to deal with people unless I want to. It feels like this is exactly what I need at this time in my life.

The RV still feels like a positive and I intend to utilize it more frequently. There are some minor repairs that are needed (no hot water for example) but it is 32ft long and provides one person with ample space to live, sleep, even do yoga or workout. I intend to spruce it up a bit and spend as much time in it as I can. The only hurdle right now is internet so that I can work from the RV. I don’t know as of yet if the wi-fi will be enough to ensure a strong remote connection. Since the location is so rural, the only internet available is satellite though my mom said a new tower was constructed (I could see it) and the company offers internet service. 

My husband is going to help create a spot for the RV that is even more secluded than where it is parked now. It will take some time, though. The land needs to be cleared, a road put in, and water and electric brought to the site from the base of the hill. Eventually the RV will be replaced with an off-grid capable cabin. I am super excited! But for now, the RV will work just fine for my needs. 

Being out on family land may prove a challenge in other ways. My mother has allowed my sister to park her RV next to the house. She has been living there since before Thanksgiving and there are already indicators that things may turn sour like they did last time. This family drama has been going on for some time. No matter how far away I go it seems I cannot fully escape it. This is mostly because my relationship with my mother. She often reaches out to me, confiding in me and asking my opinion among other things. As she ages I feel she will need me more and more. To abandon her is not in my nature. It may be that I have a lesson to learn in all this. Can I remain neutral while also assisting when needed? Perhaps I can also help my sister?

I don’t have any other ideas for 2023 just yet. The priority is that I get the space I need to heal and release the bitterness that has built up over a lifetime. I think everything else will fall into place after that.