Monthly Archives: November 2023

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Dream of Past Life?

Woke up sick this morning. 😦 So far it seems to be a head cold. The good news? My eyes are watering so much that I have no symptoms of dry eye. Ha!

Anyway, cool dreams between bouts of coughing and snot. One seems like a past life memory.

Dream-Reverse Discrimination 

Woke up crying from a dream. In it, I had arrived to a running event and was waiting to be given a partner. At first, I was the only woman but then two black women showed up one after the other. When the first arrived she wouldn’t look at me or acknowledge I existed. She was a fast runner and I told to coach that I would try to keep up but eventually give up and walk. The second one was nicer but wanted to partner with the first one. I finally confronted the first one, asking her if she had an issue with me and to tell me. She wouldn’t look at or answer me. I told her I couldn’t fix what it was if I didn’t know what it was. She finally answered me when I asked what I’d done. She said, “I don’t know.” I finally realized it was that I was white and so said, “Is it because I’m blonde and blue eyed?” She didn’t answer and looked down. I said, “Sounds like reverse discrimination to me.” She got irritated but still looked away. The other girl was talking and questioned me about it. I told her that if I had a choice I would look just like her, that I thought black women were beautiful and I had always wished I looked like them. I gently took her face in my hands and told her she was beautiful, looking her deep in the eyes. I said this over and over, tears streaming down my face. Then I put my hand on her heart and said, “You have a big heart.” I was still crying as I was telling her this. She finally let down her guard and started crying then hugged me tight. We cried in each other’s arms. I woke up. 

Note: In this life I’ve always found black women beautiful and had a deep sympathy for what they endure in life. In a recent past life (died in 1963) I was a black woman living in Louisiana who endured domestic violence but went on to become a nurse and live a long, productive life as a single mother. I was very religious and got my strength from the black community, women specifically, who supported one another through thick and thin.

Dream-Indentured

Later, I returned to a dream with the two black women. I was a white maid who had been acquired as a young girl (orphan) and was working out my indentured servitude. Mostly I recall how the two women and I were like sisters. I loved them dearly. I remember watching the master and mistress arrive home in their car (older model, like 1900’s) and they had their two daughter’s sitting in the front seat (it was like a carriage more than a car). Both were blonde like me. I mentioned how grown up they looked but we knew they were very young still. The oldest was trying to look like a grown woman but was only in her early teens. She had braided her hair and I remember touching mine and knowing I looked a wreck. I said I should’ve braided mine and one of my sisters laughed and made a joke about how I couldn’t braid. We all giggled. I got a glimpse of myself at that time and I was plain and light skinned, with hair frizzy but combed neatly.

As the dream ended I realized the girls were my daughters and I had birthed many children for the master, all resembling me except one, the son, who resembled him. The wife had no choice but to claim them. Weird! Was this a past life recall? IDK.

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Dream: More Than a Friend

The weird physical ailments that have plagued me this year continue. This time it is my eyes. I am experiencing horribly dry and painful eyes, especially when looking at screens. At times the pain is so bad that my eyes throb. This has been going on since mid-October. I thought at first I must’ve gotten Covid again because that was the main symptom I had when I had it before. However, when it didn’t subside after 10 days, I began to worry. Finally, after almost a month, I went to my eye doctor who checked me out and diagnosed it as a flare-up of dry eye. She gave me a prescription for a steroid eye drop and other eye drops and sent me home. Today I went in for my follow-up. While my eyes are somewhat better, I am still experiencing pain and discomfort on and off. So it is another week of eye drops. I cannot wear my contact lenses because when I do, my eyes throb horribly when I take them out. So, I’ve been Ms. Four-eyes for a month. Yay! Actually, I don’t mind because I think glasses suit me now that I’m older. Still, it would be nice if they eliminated the pain and discomfort. Even now, as I type this, I am squinting and closing my eyes frequently just to get through it. Please pray my doctor is right and this is just a temporary condition. Otherwise, I have to go to a dry eye specialist. Ugh!

Two nights ago I had a recurrence of the “off” feeling upon waking I’ve written about before. It always puts me into a panic when it happens. I always check my heart rate (sleep monitor) and it has been fine. No spikes, no big drops. So, I have no clue what it is/was. When this episode happened I was actually getting a driving lesson from a guide in a very vivid dream. I was so completely happy in the dream that waking feeling like I had just risen from the dead was very disconcerting!

Thankfully, last night I slept wonderfully and had no weird episodes.

Dream-Dance Class

The first part of the dream I was in school and part of a dance (self-confidence, happiness) group. The teacher was showing us what our next dance routine would look like. We were suppose to try and follow along as she showed us the moves. The teacher started doing a reverse pike and as she did this, she removed her underwear (hidden aspects revealed). I immediately walked away saying I was not going to do something like that. The other girls huddled together to the side whispering. I went over to them and told them I wouldn’t do the underwear move. They were saying they struggled with doing the pike. I said I could do that and would show them.

Then I went to the bathroom (need to find relief) which was small as if made for very young kids. I sat on the tiny toilet but don’t remember actually using the toilet. When I wiped, the TP was covered in sticky poo (unwanted things) and I got it on my fingers. Grossed out, I tried to get the TP off of my hand and put it in the trash but it stuck to me. When I finally got it off, I stood up to wash my hands at the sink. I was squished over to the right and when I looked in the mirror I noticed a woman standing next to me on my left. She spoke to me but I don’t remember what she said. I thought of her as one my classmates.

Dream-More Than a Friend

Then I was having a discussion with a man whose face I couldn’t quite make out. We were talking about my choice to repeat high school (life lessons). The first thing I recall saying was that I wasn’t sure how this year, my senior year, would go because I didn’t have any electives left to take and the only class I had left was Calculus. I told him, “You know it is just trigonometry (enlightenment, inner completion)? I love Calculus (challenges and solutions)! .” He asked me if I had to pay to attend high school all over again being I was 47 years old. I told him, “No. They all think I’m 18.” 

It was at this time I realized we had been talking for a long time. I said, “Wow! We’ve been talking all this time? I LOVE it when that happens!” It was a familiar feeling and one I enjoy. It means I have connected with someone in a way that is truly very rare. This is also when I noticed we were sitting inside a car (lifepath), engine running, parked inside my garage (stuck, parked). I was sitting in the passenger seat and he was in the driver’s seat. I tried to get a look at him, but all I got was a feel of him. He seemed like one of those nerdy types (typical for me lol); someone who was very smart and knowledgeable about many things. I could tell he was thin and quite tall, too, with dark hair. Besides, that, though, I had no idea who he was.

He got out of the car and left behind a small boy. The boy pointed at a light through the windshield asking, “What is that?” I peered through the glass but couldn’t quite figure out what it was. All I saw was a very bright, white light.

Then I was outside of a house standing on a stone pathway with the tall man from the car. Tall shrubs were on either side of us. We were chatting and laughing about something when a young man walked up to me. He was clean cut with strawberry blonde hair. He told me that he wanted to confess that he was my ex-boyfriend’s lover, someone my ex had cheated on me with. I was shocked because I hadn’t realized my ex had been interested in men. The man from the car leaned over to hug me and said, “I’m so sorry.” I remember being able to see the scene from outside of myself, so I saw my own face and the expression on it. I was horrified. I also did not resemble myself in this life at all. I had auburn hair that went past my shoulders. Then I saw the man from the car, still hugging me, move my hair aside and kiss me. My reaction to this was also shock and I pulled away. He whispered back, “I’m so sorry!” The other man was laughing at the situation.

The next thing I remember is going to look for the man from the car. My thoughts led me there as I had been confused by his kiss, thinking of him as only a friend. I returned to my garage where we once sat in the car. I walked through the door and instead of my house I found myself inside a book store or library (knowledge, wisdom) because there were books lining the walls. I went towards the area I knew my friend would be. It felt like a kitchen area. When I saw him he started immediately apologizing. I had something in my hand, like a long strip of photo negatives (memories). I’d had it with me since we last met. I was going to give it to him but when I saw him and how upset he was, I forgot about it. In that moment I remember deciding that he could be more than just my friend. I went up and kissed him back. He was so tall I had to stand on my toes. The kiss was very real and I became quite lucid in this moment. I remember telling him that I could kiss him forever. I did this telepathically, though, as I couldn’t speak. We kept kissing until I woke.

When I woke a pleasant energy was swirling in my second chakra.

This dream felt almost like I returned to a past life or maybe a parallel one. It was quite lovely. If I were to take anything from the dream it would be a message to remember that some of the best romantic relationships develop out of good friendships.

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Dream: Doesn’t Want Help

Someone I met long ago when I went to Mt. Shasta, CA has been on FB bemoaning her situation for a few years now. She is apparently homeless, living in Colorado and has been surviving day to day by couch surfing at friends’ houses and, most recently, living in a car (not hers). She often posts pretty negative posts about giving up, how people are cruel and unloving, or how she has no one, etc. Later, she deletes the posts. 

One time I messaged her and did not get a warm reply even though I was trying to be helpful. So, I’ve not reached out again, though I’ve often considered it because it is within my means to help her get back on her feet. Every time I think about helping I get a sense not to, so I don’t.

I’ve not actually even thought about her in a while but the dream I had last night indicates why I keep getting a sense to not reach out to help.

Dream: Doesn’t Want Help

My friend and I met up because I’d reached out to offer her help finding work. She was grateful and repeatedly told me she was ready to find work and get back to a regular life. She was very emotional and spoke effusively, which is her way. 

I took her to meet some people I knew could help her. One was the ex-owner of the business my husband and his brother now own. She knows a lot of people and is good at networking. She introduced my friend to many people, all in businesses related to industry, construction or warehousing. My friend was given a large packet of applications to fill out for various companies. She took it and began immediately filling them out. 

News arrived that an employer had decided to offer her an apprenticeship. This was a very generous offer because my friend had very little work experience or education. My friend was asked to rate a list of five fields of work based upon her interest. After what seemed like a long time, I went to check on her and found she had made little progress. She couldn’t make up her mind and was unsure about what some of the fields entailed. I sat with her to explain what they were and she brightened up when she discovered one was acting/theater. Thinking she had made up her mind, I encouraged her to take it up to the desk so she could start the onboarding process. Again, she hesitated and asked me if I thought perhaps they could just train her on general duties so she could see if it was something she liked or not. I told her I didn’t know if they would agree to that and would find out for her.

I walked outside and it was pouring rain. I had to go across a parking lot to another building and by the time I got there I was soaked. My friend was suppose to meet me there but was late. I called her and she told me she would meet me at the stairs. When I got to them, they were the longest set of stairs I had ever seen and she was way at the top peering down at me. Since she was suppose to come to me, I waited, not wanting to ascend the steep steps.

When she got to me the rain had stopped and we were outside with other employees during their lunch break. I was attempting to convince her to take this opportunity based upon her interests reminding her nothing is set in stone and she could change her mind later. She brought up her work history, which had not been good. She always ended up leaving jobs within a short period, finding them boring or not exactly what she wanted or expected. I suggested she should give a job more time. I said, “Maybe you should examine your ideas and beliefs regarding work?” She gave me a horrified look. I then mentioned one guy I knew who had been an alcoholic and his life nearly destroyed until he took a similar opportunity and turned his life around. By this time she had turned her back on me rudely and walked way down towards the end of the lunch tables. Another employee looked at me and nodded her head in agreement at what I was saying and turned to look at my friend who still had her back to me. The lady told me, “Looks like she doesn’t want help.” 

When I woke up I was confused as to why I had this dream when I had not even been thinking of this person for a while. It was clear, though, that I was being shown this person has placed herself in her position purposefully to learn a life lesson. It is sad but it is what it is.

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Dream Reality Awareness

Had a dream that indicated I was aware I created the dream reality I found myself in. 

In the dream I was returning to Montana to attend college. At first I was talking to a female friend about a new hair cut. She had dark brown hair in a nice bob with bangs and I wanted to try the cut. I tried it but didn’t like how it would look on me. Then she and I were attending class and there was a whole part of the dream inside the college. The actual path we took was like an obstacle course! It was around this time I remembered I wasn’t in college in waking reality. The thought I had was that me and my family went to college in a dream reality and this was our third trip together. The thought was dream reality was as real as any, which it is. 

The dream continued with a message from the woman with the bob that we needed to remove the a/c we installed for our family housing unit. The one we installed was too big and went against the rules. Again, I recognized that it didn’t fit waking reality because in Montana no one even has a/c’s! 

Next, I was inside the house alone sitting on the sofa reading a book. I kept hearing a baby crying. Looking up and out the large windows in front of me, I noticed that an entire family had set up camp outside the house on the porch! I saw the toddler laying on the ground having a full-blown tantrum and the mother wasn’t doing anything. At first I was annoyed but decided to ignore them and kept reading my book. Not long after, I realized two Mexican kids were watching TV in my living room! I yelled at them to leave and they claimed “No one lived here…” as if it was an excuse for them to take over my house. The kids left after I started throwing pillows at them. lol When the family on the porch left, I went out and cleaned up all the trash they left. It was really messy and I was grateful winter would arrive soon because then it would be too cold for them live on my porch. 

I woke briefly and returned to the dream. This time I saw an old man sitting on the back porch next to mine. Again, I recognized he was part of a dream reality. I knew he was grumpy and set in his ways. I had been making some noise as I was cleaning and saw him wincing. I laughed a bit at knowing he couldn’t tolerate any change to his quiet morning routine. I walked up and talked with him a bit and he was nice enough. He was a very pale, skinny old man with white hair. He actually seemed somewhat familiar but I’m not sure how. I respected him, though. I remember following him inside and saw he had a group of others he would meet up with for coffee. They all had on similar hats that covered their entire heads except their noses and eyes. The hats were crocheted and looked like mushrooms. I giggled. 

Not long after I returned to my house to find a work crew in my kitchen. Many had made themselves at home, sitting around the table chatting. They informed me that they had finished trimming the trees and asked me to approve their work. I glanced outside and saw tree clippings scattered about. I told them it looked good to me and they left.

Considerations

There were many instances when I could’ve awakened within the dream. Most obvious were the moments of recognition that I was in a dream reality, and also the annoying cries of the toddler (noises off). I wish I had taken advantage of these opportunities, but I seemed content to recognize the dream reality and participate fully in it without taking control and going off on adventures. 

I believe these realities are primarily created to help me sort through waking life issues. For example, returning to college is an on-going theme which represents the school of life. The obstacle course to get to class feels especially accurate. lol Another example are the Mexican kids and the family camped on my back porch. Illegal immigration has begun to impact the area where I live and is an ongoing annoyance.

I woke feeling well rested and calm making for a nice start to the day!

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Dream: Taylor Swift and Matthew Perry

Very cool dreams last night and a short OBE at the end. 🙂

Dream: Taylor Swift and Matthew Perry

The dream began at Taylor’s. I asked her if she had any time alone and/or privacy and sympathized with her for the lack of these things. It must be difficult having a private body guard and entourage all the time. She invited me to go to a bar with her and some friends. I agreed. Mostly I remember Taylor with her long, blonde hair at this time, not so much the others involved or the scene.

The entire time I was acutely aware of the age difference between myself and the rest of the group. There were approximately five of us total. There was me, Taylor, another girl and two men. One of the men had dark hair and was quite handsome in a kind of foreign or exotic way. The other one looked a whole lot like Matthew Perry. 

We all sat together having a good time. I specifically avoided drinking any alcohol and was proud of myself for it. The others had plenty to drink and didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t drink. During this time I mentioned the age difference, saying that I was almost twice their age at 42. This error registered to me but I couldn’t figure out why and never correctly identified it in the dream despite my suspicions it was wrong. I also wished I were young again and thought back on my twenties and thirties contemplating how I would do things differently if I could do it again. Mostly, I missed my youthful appearance but when I mentioned this, the others reassured me that I still looked great, much younger than I claimed to be. In fact, they didn’t believe me when I told them my age.

At one point we were all at a piano. I think the exotic looking man was going to play or sing. My memory is mostly of looking down at the piano keys. Just above them, on the top of the piano, was a small, blue pill that looked similar to a sweet tart. It was wrap in such a way that I recognized it as a drug. I hesitated, wanting to eat it but reminding myself that I don’t do drugs. Eventually, I did take it but I don’t remember if I ate it. The pill itself had writing on it. I think it said MDMA (ecstasy). 

It was getting late and the bar was about to close. I couldn’t believe how awake I was and mentioned to the group how I am usually in bed by 9pm. The topic of discussion went to that feeling of connection one has with their people. I casually mentioned that I felt it with the two men there. Again, age was discussed and I remember someone else being there who was not one of the group. He was a man who seemed to be in a haze or cloud within the dream. He explained to me something in images more than pictures. I saw a staircase heading up. On the steps were various people at different stages. He explained that the strongest connections would be with those who occupied the same step as I did. Eventually, though, they would leave or I would and we would no longer occupy the same step. The steps each represented spiritual progress. Spiritual maturity, varied and was not related to physical maturity/age. I remember thinking it made total sense. 

Next, I recall reaching across and taking one of the men’s hands and asking him to act from his heart. His demeanor immediately changed and he got emotional, as did I. I did this with the second man also but he hardened himself, becoming noticeably stiff. I just held his hand longer, looked him in the eyes and asked him to focus on his heart. When he softened up, I smiled, tearing up at the wave of emotion I felt from him. Again, the man outlined in a haze in the dream, spoke, reminding me that I had the ability to see deeply into others and not to forget it.

Before leaving, I went to the bathroom on the other side of the bar. When I got to it, there was no door, only a thick, curtain that came down once inside. There was an additional white sheet on the floor for further privacy which I picked up and tossed over the other one to fill in any gaps. I turned towards where the toilet should be (I saw none, though) and heard someone behind me. When I turned around, it was Matthew Perry. He looked just like the news images of him, older with a sagging jawline. He was completely naked and smiling. He alerted me to my nakedness by saying, “Whoa! You’re beautiful!” I hadn’t been aware of my nakedness until that point and became briefly self-conscious but then didn’t care. Proud of my body, I stood facing him and said, “Stop it! I’m trying to put on my bra!” 

Around this time I began to get a bit lucid, specifically because I was standing naked next to Matthew Perry and I knew he was dead. The two didn’t add up. Just as I was recognizing I was dreaming, the man in the haze replaced the entire dream in my mind’s eye. He began asking me questions, specifically about how I felt in that moment, standing there naked. I remember being reminded of other dreams where I proudly ran around naked and at one point had to have a sheet put over me and be told to be careful. Nakedness = vulnerability. I felt a familiar all-over body buzz with the memory as well as a sense of rightness; a Knowing that this was my true state. 

The questions continued but I can’t recall them now. Instead, my memory is mostly in images and considerations. I felt amazingly good and requested a return to sleep. Surprisingly, I did.

Short OBE

I entered a lucid dream where I was with a young boy wearing clothing that reminded me of Peter Pan. lol We were getting placed in a giant sling shot. I was super excited. A big hand placed us in the sling shot and then it was pulled back very slowly, building the anticipation. Then the hand let us go and off we went. I was laying on my back, head faced towards the unknown, flying high over a super blue ocean below. I could see both the sky and the ocean below at the same time (360 degree vision). I saw the young boy arch downwards towards the water, but me, being heavier, continued to move in a straight line. I remember thinking, “I am dreaming and this is awesome!” I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of freedom in flight. Closing my eyes was probably the reason I came back to my body but I was still thrilled to have the experience.

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Dream: How to Hug

The below dream is from the 21st of October.

Dream: How to Hug

I was visiting with a group of very tall individuals. I don’t recall how they looked but they seemed masculine. 

One was telling me about how one of the common issues he has with his students is that they get stuck at the solar plexus. The energy doesn’t move up from there. He said this was because they hug the wrong way – only from the front. I laughed and said, “That is me!” He nodded and said, “I know.” I could see the correct way to hug and it was wrapping the arms all the way around but from behind, not from the front. Then I saw energy travel from the center of the body all the way up the spine. For some reason it made complete sense to me and I felt certain I could easily hug this way.

They asked me questions about my spiritual experiences, one standing behind me and the other in front of me but slightly to my right. Specifically, they inquired about my ET contact. One asked me, “Have you had Contact before?” I said, “Yes. Many times.” I explained how it was long ago and so now all those experiences no longer feel real. I remember saying, “But when they happened they felt real”. One of them said, “They were real.” Then I explained my initial reactions to Contact, how it scared me and it took a long time for me to realize that there was nothing to fear. I specifically remembered one experience where I was taken aboard a craft of some kind by a very tall, blue Being with very long fingers. His craft was alive and he operated it by touching various symbols. I saw the symbols light up and that is when I noticed his fingers. When I looked up at him and saw him I didn’t freak out even though he was very, very alien looking. My thought at that was, “We are all the same”. It was after that, I think, that I no longer had fear of ETs.