Someone I met long ago when I went to Mt. Shasta, CA has been on FB bemoaning her situation for a few years now. She is apparently homeless, living in Colorado and has been surviving day to day by couch surfing at friends’ houses and, most recently, living in a car (not hers). She often posts pretty negative posts about giving up, how people are cruel and unloving, or how she has no one, etc. Later, she deletes the posts. 

One time I messaged her and did not get a warm reply even though I was trying to be helpful. So, I’ve not reached out again, though I’ve often considered it because it is within my means to help her get back on her feet. Every time I think about helping I get a sense not to, so I don’t.

I’ve not actually even thought about her in a while but the dream I had last night indicates why I keep getting a sense to not reach out to help.

Dream: Doesn’t Want Help

My friend and I met up because I’d reached out to offer her help finding work. She was grateful and repeatedly told me she was ready to find work and get back to a regular life. She was very emotional and spoke effusively, which is her way. 

I took her to meet some people I knew could help her. One was the ex-owner of the business my husband and his brother now own. She knows a lot of people and is good at networking. She introduced my friend to many people, all in businesses related to industry, construction or warehousing. My friend was given a large packet of applications to fill out for various companies. She took it and began immediately filling them out. 

News arrived that an employer had decided to offer her an apprenticeship. This was a very generous offer because my friend had very little work experience or education. My friend was asked to rate a list of five fields of work based upon her interest. After what seemed like a long time, I went to check on her and found she had made little progress. She couldn’t make up her mind and was unsure about what some of the fields entailed. I sat with her to explain what they were and she brightened up when she discovered one was acting/theater. Thinking she had made up her mind, I encouraged her to take it up to the desk so she could start the onboarding process. Again, she hesitated and asked me if I thought perhaps they could just train her on general duties so she could see if it was something she liked or not. I told her I didn’t know if they would agree to that and would find out for her.

I walked outside and it was pouring rain. I had to go across a parking lot to another building and by the time I got there I was soaked. My friend was suppose to meet me there but was late. I called her and she told me she would meet me at the stairs. When I got to them, they were the longest set of stairs I had ever seen and she was way at the top peering down at me. Since she was suppose to come to me, I waited, not wanting to ascend the steep steps.

When she got to me the rain had stopped and we were outside with other employees during their lunch break. I was attempting to convince her to take this opportunity based upon her interests reminding her nothing is set in stone and she could change her mind later. She brought up her work history, which had not been good. She always ended up leaving jobs within a short period, finding them boring or not exactly what she wanted or expected. I suggested she should give a job more time. I said, “Maybe you should examine your ideas and beliefs regarding work?” She gave me a horrified look. I then mentioned one guy I knew who had been an alcoholic and his life nearly destroyed until he took a similar opportunity and turned his life around. By this time she had turned her back on me rudely and walked way down towards the end of the lunch tables. Another employee looked at me and nodded her head in agreement at what I was saying and turned to look at my friend who still had her back to me. The lady told me, “Looks like she doesn’t want help.” 

When I woke up I was confused as to why I had this dream when I had not even been thinking of this person for a while. It was clear, though, that I was being shown this person has placed herself in her position purposefully to learn a life lesson. It is sad but it is what it is.