On the drive to my cabin this morning I felt it…the feeling of wanting to continue to live this life as long as possible.

Woah. 

The wild part is just how different it feels from how I usually feel. The feeling comes with absolutely no expectation. It doesn’t involve another person, either. <——-This is HUGE for me. It is simply wanting to live in order to see what is next, full of curiosity and interest. In that moment, in my mind I saw a page turning. It’s the feeling one gets when reading a really good book they can’t put down. That is the feeling. 

Prior to this feeling I was mulling over the idea of joining a community choir. I love to sing, so why not? I also thought of my daughter and how proud I am of her. I thought of my boys, too, and how I couldn’t wait to witness them grow into adults. I got teary eyes thinking of it. And that is when it hit me – I want to keep living. 

I got to my cabin thinking, “I don’t want this feeling to ever go away.” And I don’t. Is this why people cling to life so desperately? If so, I can finally say I understand. 

And yes, I know what awaits me on the Other Side of this life. I haven’t forgotten. But, like a good dream, I think I might want to sleep a bit longer….just a little bit. To explore a little longer.

God please let this feeling last. Please.