Happy 2026! Wishing you all the best for the year ahead.

I did a solstice ritual this year starting on the 21st of December and ending yesterday. I wrote 13 intentions for the new year, folded them and put them in a bowl. Each night I burned one without reading it. In doing so I put my trust in the Universe that the intention will be and I do not have to do anything but accept what the Universe provides. The last day, yesterday, I unfolded the final intention. This will be the intention for 2025 that requires my conscious participation, steady effort, honesty and follow-through. One where I do my work and the Universe meets me halfway. That intention is: “My work brings me fulfillment and success.” 

I actually don’t like the intention because I struggle when it comes to work and really have no idea what will bring me success and fulfillment. In fact, I was just dreading returning to work on Monday. I am finding my job just so-so and the interaction with others at my workplace typical of my past experiences. People are limited in what they are willing to talk about and confront and I have already noticed I say too much, making them uncomfortable and avoidant. Usually it is when I open up about myself that they withdraw. If I stick to only pleasantries, remaining on surface level info about myself, they remain at ease but only then. I have only encountered one woman who was willing to go deeper with me and she was much older than the rest. She remained comfortable and receptive but the group was not and so she ended up having to cut her own comments short in order to put them at ease. The message is loud and clear  – Don’t reveal too much, stay quiet, let others talk. This has always been my experience in life, even outside of work, so I don’t know why I keep butting my head against that wall. It is always an accident but by the time I realize I have said too much, it is already too late. Most people do not want to confront things in their life and me bringing up anything beyond surface level scares them. They wonder what I might know, at a subconscious level, and see me as a threat and retreat. I know this about myself. It is part of my gift but it is also my curse. 

Coincidentally, before I opened the intention last night I had a consideration during the day that helped me shift my perception. I had watched a Buddhist video about worry and the teacher suggested that rather than worry about what might go wrong why not worry about what might go right? This stuck with me I guess because the video was one among many others and I thought I had long forgotten it. However, that is what I did without even thinking. I considered work and rather than dread it I thought, “What if something amazing happens? What if I am acknowledged, validated and celebrated? What if I end up looking forward to work?” With that I relaxed and my entire day shifted. I remember my purpose for the job was not to make money but to help. All I need to do is to remind myself of that purpose each day and feel the excitement that comes with the consideration that maybe, just maybe, I will surprise myself.

I am reminded of my first teaching job in a public school in Texas. I was teaching psychology and I looked forward to going to work. When I consider what I would like from a job I always think back to that one. It is the only time in my life I looked forward to going to work. When I have considered why that is, I realized that with that job there were certain beliefs I held that created a positive experience for me: 1. I was grateful for the opportunity. 2. The subject matter was one I was fascinated with. 3. I felt genuine love and interest in my students. and 4. I was optimistic about my impact on my students (wanted to help them).

So far I have at least two with this job. I am grateful and I feel genuine love and interest in my students. The others are there but I have had so many losses with them that I have given up or lost the belief that they are even possible. I am not very interested in the subject matter I am “teaching” (meaning counseling). I find myself bored with the problems the children bring to me to help them solve. They are so trivial. I have also lost the desire to help and feel any impact I have will be minimal.

Therefore, I need to work on my cynicism and automatic judgements of others. I need to stop taking the responses I see in the adults I work with personally. They are not reacting to me, they are reacting to what my energy shows them about themselves. It isn’t personal. Similarly, I feel unmotivated to help as I have had so many losses. I think for this one I need to broaden my definition of what it means to help. As my guides have reminded me of many times, “help” comes in many forms. It is not all rainbows and butterflies. Help is individual to the person and their lessons in life. Sometimes help is conflict that needs resolution. Just my energy helps by making others uncomfortable. That discomfort can be a spark that lights a fire of awareness inside them. 

My plan is to continue to remind myself of my purpose for being there – to help. It is also to remember/trust that the Universe put me there for a reason. It is not for me to decide whether I helped or not based upon my human definitions and beliefs relating to help. I need to take my Ego out of it. The search for validation stems from pride, wanting to be acknowledged and valued, etc. If I am seeking external acknowledgment and validation as proof I helped, I will be disappointed and feel like a failure.