Tag Archives: body

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Purification

Yesterday I began the long process of purifying this physical vehicle (body). I have done this in the past (8 years ago) but am doing it again for several reasons. First, I had a c-section last year that pumped my body full of nasty medications (morphine for one) and have had several rounds of antibiotics along with various pain medications and local anesthesia. This along with environmental toxins, past recreational drug use and psychological medications, I figured it was time to do it again. I also want to help this spiritual process I have been going through by making sure the body adequately adapts and adjusts to it.

The routine is simple. Take prescribed amounts of various vitamins and minerals, exercise at a moderate intensity for 20-30 minutes and then do a stent in the sauna. The main ingredient here is the Niacin as it is the vitamin that helps dislodge residual drugs and toxins that are lodged in the fat cells of the human body. The exercise circulates the Niacin, which often causes a major flushing and tingling of the skin, and the sauna heat causes the body to sweat out the toxins through the skin.

The time in the sauna is extensive. Yesterday I spent 2 hours in it. Today will be 3. The next day, 4. Then I think it plateaus. I will continue the program until there remain no more reactions to the Niacin and my body has flushed all the toxins. It can take 3 weeks or longer going in daily, so it is quite a regime.

Day One

It is funny how 8 years changes you. Last time I did this program I felt rejuvenated and full of energy. I looked forward to the run and enjoyed the sauna. Yesterday, however, I felt like a slug as I ran on the treadmill and the sauna seemed to suck the life out of me. My blood sugar dropped (my fault) and my blood pressure dropped at the same time and so I got dizzy and nauseous. Thankfully a bit of food and cool air resolved that quickly.

When I got home I felt exhausted and couldn’t get enough to eat and drink. I drank a gallon while there so was surprised I wanted more water. I probably drank another gallon at home. I craved carbohydrates and couldn’t get enough so finally broke down and had  a tootsie pop. lol I am still getting over this cold so that also hit me in the evening like usual and didn’t help how I felt (yes it is safe to do this program with a cold).

I slept like a rock last night, getting about 9 hours of sleep, but I am still tired today. I just want to lounge around and do nothing but will be leaving for day two of the purification in an hour. I know that this feeling of exhaustion will leave soon enough as my body adjusts to the change in routine, I just wish it didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don’t know how much spiritual activity I will have while on this program, so not sure how often I will write. I am not motivated to do much right now and my focus on the spiritual is none.

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Attachment and the Body

How attached to your body are you?

This is something I am being led to consider indirectly. What I mean by this is that I continue to have this odd recollection of “choosing” where in time I will focus my attention and then choosing again what experience I want to focus upon in that particular time-track. In doing this, I experience myself as in two distinct places – one as the Chooser and the other as the Perceiver.

This strange recollection first occurred when I had the experience of being OOB while wide awake, sitting in a chair alongside my family. With it came the strange, sudden disconnection from my life and individual experiences. This disconnection shook me to the core in a way I cannot quite describe and it took me a while to reconnect to myself. I did so by looking at my baby who was peeking at me from the doorway. When I oped my arms to him to receive a hug the disconnect vanished and I felt “normal” again. You can image the relief!

In that moment my perception, unbeknownst to me at the time, was forever altered. Now, no matter how I try to push this regained memory of Self out of my mind, it keeps reappearing at the strangest of times. Usually I am in the midst of my daily activities – at work or in the midst of trying to resolve a conflict or problem I am being faced with.

There is a part of me that wants to reject this memory and pretend that it is my imagination. I do so without issue only to find it once again thrust into my mind, as if someone is saying to me, “I don’t think so. LOOK”.

Now, over a week since the event occurred, I am still shaken by it but am finally able to look at it objectively and without the odd, irrational fear that I will somehow lose myself if I do.

What is it that is so scary? It is the fact that in that moment, I realized that this body, this physical vehicle, is NOT me. Yes, I recognized this before; however, it was similar to knowing a fact one reads from a book. I really didn’t know it because I had not experienced it. When I finally did experience it, I finally Knew it and the memory of it was life shattering. I want to say that I had, in that moment, an Awakening to my Self.

Thankfully, I have had many Awakenings since 2003 and so this one, by comparison to the others, was quite subtle in its effects upon me. Yet so profound that it had to remain slightly below the surface in order for me to fully integrate it. Now, after nightly, in-depth consultation and mitigation by my guides, I am finally able to bring it to the surface of this human mind.

time_joakim_kraemer_photography_I am starting to see just how strongly I am attached to this body. I love it. I have so much love for it that I see it as part of me.

What if I looked in the mirror and did not see me, but instead saw the vehicle that I am choosing to occupy. Like a car, I can get in and get out anytime I choose. Yet I have chosen time and time again not to leave it while in this point in time. I have fully immersed myself in it to the point that I have forgotten I am not separate from it.

And with this thought stream I see myself again looking down at this flow of matter, space, energy and time. It is like a river, below me. It moves and fluctuates alive with colors and energy, yet I am not part of it yet. And I can choose to go into this, become it; become the effect of it. And I see all the physical forms I can choose from that allow me to experience all that I am Not. And when I see them, I have no more an emotional response to them than I do a wild animal or tree or rock. I have an affinity for these things but not an attachment to them. If they were destroyed I would know it is just part of the cycle and feel no loss as they would still exist, just in another form.

However, once attachment occurs, there is made possible to experience a deep loss. It is like losing a child, a family member or a beloved pet. There is grief, there is guilt, there is a longing for what was.

This is what happens when we become attached to the body.

And I realize I love this body but I must be able to detach from it at will. This can be done and in doing so will allow me to be more at-cause; to be a better captain of this physical vessel.