Tag Archives: dreams

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Molting

Sorry I’ve been so quiet. I’ve been struggling through an intense physical and emotional purging these last six days or so. It all was building up prior to that but got especially intense around May 1st.

As I mentioned previously, I have been struggling with a string of illnesses. First a lingering head cold (which is STILL lingering) and then intestinal complications that stretched out for days. Well, that wasn’t the end of it. My entire family got a nasty stomach bug. It started with my son Sunday night and on Tuesday the rest of us got it one-by-one within hours of each other. I had naively thought I was immune, assuming I was the one who gave it to the rest of the family so was surprised when I came down with it.

Every time I get the stomach bug I think it is the worst. The last time I had it I was five months pregnant with my youngest (over 3 years ago). Pregnant with the stomach bug is awful and potentially dangerous. I thought at the time it was the worst I had ever felt. Well, I was wrong. This hit me so hard and so violently that I nearly passed out. Twice. I was sweating profusely, my head felt ice cold, I couldn’t see and when I could see the room was spinning and I couldn’t judge distance properly. It literally seemed at the time that I was about to be sucked into an abyss where death was awaiting me. And then after the vomiting stage was over I was extremely weak to the point that walking a few steps would incite dizziness, rapid heartbeat, and breathlessness.

Through all of it I was still coughing, courtesy of the ever-lingering cold that doesn’t go away.

To top it all I got an awful sore throat the day after the stomach bug. Thankfully that has now subsided.

Amidst all of this illness I went through a gauntlet of emotional upheaval. Mostly the emotional purging occurred during sleep. I would wake up crying, sometimes multiple times in one night, from dreams that often disappeared as soon as I tried to recall them. If I did recall them, the dreams were confusing or linked to past experiences that I thought I had long put behind me.

To top it all off, the Kundalini has been active. This time, however, it has been painful, or at least what I recall of it has been. It started out with just some energy fluctuations and surges. Then I got sick. Since the stomach flu I have now had two instances where I have experienced pain from the Kundalini energy. It feels like someone sticks their hand into a chakra and then twists forcefully. The specific areas of this pain are the root, sacral and solar plexus.

This is the first time I have had physical illness mixed in with an intense emotional purging. The two together are extreme but not as bad as last November and December.

On to the Next Section – The Molt

So what is going on? This is the Reset I wrote about last week. Clearing out lingering blockages in preparation for whatever comes next. All of the emotional purging is to clear away the last vestiges of the False Self. Those patterns, beliefs and falsehoods that are the basis of the illusory reality it clings to. And man oh man am I ever hanging on.

This is also the result of the next section of the Equinox Portal that is available to us through mid-summer. I am told there are two in this month alone, with the third opening just as May ends and June begins. One right after the other. I am not sure I can handle it if it is more of what I just went though, though. This is intense! Yet I know it needs to be this intense to release the vice grip of the False Self. I see an image of a hand holding tightly to something and another hand releasing the grip finger by finger.

All in all I feel like I am in my death throes. I wake up most mornings thinking, “I am dying.” I even had a dream where I was in a hospital talking to a nurse whose job it was to educate the dying on the death process. WTF right!? During the day I often feel like my body is dying, too. It is a very real feeling but then at the same time I am not concerned one bit. Totally accepting of whatever fate awaits me. It is like I am molting, shedding my human skin.

 

Trooper

Me and my dog Trooper in December 2002.

 

Dreams

Here are some examples of the dreams I’ve been having, the ones I have recalled that is:

I am my sister talking to my mother. I am telling her I can’t stay very long and I only came to check-in and see how everyone is doing. I am asked to stay and I begin to cry. I wake up crying and feeling as if I am dying from the inside out.

I am with my aunt in a darkened library. I am crying and hysterical. I ask her to help me. I say, “Why is he here? I just want him to go away and leave me alone. Make him go away!” She says, “Remember when I visited 10 weeks ago? It was nice, wasn’t it?” I stop crying and smile and say, “Yes, it was.” Then I return to crying. I feel beside myself with angst. I wake up in tears. My pillow is soaked.

I was inside a car with someone who I couldn’t see but knew was a woman. There was a tiny brown snake that resembled a large worm in the crease of the seat. Then there were many little worm-like snakes all over. I knew they were extremely poisonous so was using scientific-looking tongs to pick them off one-by-one.

I was sitting on my bed clearing dirt off of it with my hands. I noticed my dog Trooper in the room. I went up to him and hugged him close. He felt skinny and fragile. He stared into my eyes for a long time and I knew he was communicating with me. He was telling me he was sick, that he didn’t feel good and that it was time for him to go (to die).” I hugged him close again and thought, “It’s okay if you want to go. I will be alright.” But instead I looked into his eyes and said, “Thank you for being my companion.”

I woke up crying but understood that this was him showing me that in life he had also stared at me and communicated the same message. I had given him what he wanted. Sometimes when we think we are hurting another we are actually helping them.

 

 

fidgetspinner

Fidget Spinner in action. See the Vesica Pisces? 

 

Signs and Symbols

Angel number 53 – Received over a week ago. Preparing me for “change” and “major life challenges”.
Angel number 250 – Received this morning. Unexpected good is coming from unexpected sources.
Dead Dove – Received before stomach flu (May 1st). A dove flew into bedroom window and died on the spot. Symbol of lost love, endings.
Vesica Pisces – Kids got Fidget Spinners. When I played with one I saw it formed a Vesica Pisces and knew it was a message.
Sun and Moon – Seeing the sun and moon right next to each other in the sky.
11, 111, & 1111 – A near constant right now, especially 11 and 111.

 

 

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Glimpse of a Parallel Life

I’ve been sick for about five days now, ever since the K-index began to go into the red. Do I blame the geomagnetic storms? No. I blame my sick family members who passed the cold on to me. lol But it is interesting that the K-index was in the red at the beginning and is now in the red again as the cold is fading. All I’ve felt through these storms is sick so it is hard to say how else they may have affected me. Interestingly, I ran into several others who also had a cold the same time as me, all via the internet and from different states/locations.

Planetary K Index plot

Despite being sick, I’ve had some interesting dream experiences I want to share. It seems like I’ve been in class learning and practicing some of my skills.

Dream: Viewing a Parallel Life

I was given a photo album and asked to open it. Inside there were photographs attached to black pages. Each photograph was of a particular time in my life. I recognized them all but they were slightly different than I remember. Some photos would play videos if you touched them. I watched several of these and when I did it was like I went into the movie and experienced it first-hand.

Most of the videos I watched were from my school years. I recall seeing my family sitting in folding chairs waiting for a school function to begin. I must have been the one they were coming to see because I was not in the video or photos. I saw my little sister, grandmother and her sister, my great-aunt. I remember looking at how their appearances varied from this lifetime, noting the similarities and differences.

In another picture turned video I was shown how the color guard I was a part of in high school was a dance team primarily. In this life we primarily twirled flags.

I watched several movies but eventually an entire lifetime came into my memory, a lifetime very similar to this one with some differences.

I had attended the same school, still had two sisters, still had the same mother and father, still had the same connections. What was odd to me was that I was married to my ex-husband and my current husband was my ex and the father of my daughter. My two sons were not present. Never born. Instead, my half-brother, who my mom adopted in my current life, was my adopted son. Meaning I must have adopted him instead of her.

A huge amount of this parallel life centered around my half brother and his being admitted to a school related to a government program. The school was for an “elite” group of young people who would be groomed to be part of the government military. Strange thing is the government was a religious organization that had somehow been given the authority to rule the country. A theocracy I guess would be the right name. It was a honor to be in this school and my half brother was very proud. He spent his days in a very strict environment where electronics and computer devices were strictly prohibited. I saw the uniforms of the government military and they were all black with two stripes of parallel color from the chest to just below the hip. The colors varied depending on rank/level/appointment. I did not feel this government was bad, just different and in some ways much better than the current government of this lifetime.

When I woke I knew I had been viewing a parallel life and that it was just one of many others. Sadly, I was too sick to care much or to ask questions. I have no idea if I was happy in that life or not.

Dream: Practice

I had this dream this morning. What I recall most about it was being instructed on how to purposefully block and allow certain emotional experiences. The emotions first appeared in the dream as a swirling mass of energy above me. The mass was enormous, big enough to fill a large bedroom. My task was to select from this mass of emotions the ones I wished to experience without becoming overwhelmed by all of the emotion. I selected two and felt them full-on. They were positive emotions for the most part. I remember the feeling slightly and it was pleasant, like peaceful and happy.

There was a section during this time where I had a feeling of being transported in a vehicle. In the back was a blind girl who seemed to represent me in some way. The blindness was a positive in that it helped her to focus on the feelings. At this point I was feeling extremely vulnerable and there was with this an on-the-verge feeling, like a huge anticipation of something to come. Someone asked me if I wanted to stop experiencing the feeling. I said I did and the blind girl said very loudly, “I’ve had enough of feeling vulnerable.” The feeling stopped then and I woke very suddenly from the dream knowing something important had been going on.

I was told that I had been practicing choosing and blocking emotion. I was reminded that everything we experience is our choice.

Not long after I fell back to sleep and ended up with a massive energy in my root chakra that seemed to linger for a very long time. Again, I was too tired to care and despite being very lucid and even waking up several times throughout, I shrugged it off. That is a good sign because the root energy is not easy to ignore! Perhaps the lesson on choosing emotion extends to choosing sensation, too?

 

 

 

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Dreams – Lost, Attacked and Reviewing Life Decisions

The geomagnetic storm continued through the night and is currently still in the yellow. Though I am not experiencing any physical symptoms – feeling super good actually – my sleep was majorly affected. We had a massive thunderstorm move through Central Texas last night around 2am. It sounded like a hurricane outside the winds were so high. I couldn’t get back to sleep after it woke me up and when I did I had weird, even scary, dreams that kept waking me up afterward.

Dream: Lost and Attacked

The dream began inside my old middle school, in a classroom that was my homeroom in 7th grade. There was a teacher who was also my peer telling me that she had to take a teaching job to pay off her $40k student debt. I was shocked that she had gotten so into debt from college. I counted myself blessed to have only had to pay off an $8k debt and told her about how my sister and her husband wracked up $30k in debt because they used the loans to live off of.

At some point the woman left and I sat in the teacher’s desk looking at books on a shelf behind it. One was a dream dictionary focusing specifically on anxiety dream symbolism. Curious, I flipped through the book and read through the examples of different anxiety dreams and how they manifested. One particular dream type associated with anxiety dreams were guide-led dreams where there was direct interaction and/or communication with one or more guides. I read it and said to my guidance, “Those kinds of dreams account for more than half of my dreams.” Then I thought about it and said to them, “But I’m not typically anxious, especially right now.”

I should have seen this reference as a clue of what was to come. Ha!

The next thing I know I am driving along city streets in my old SUV.  I hear a familiar song playing and the words, “Everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fine.” Looking ahead I seem to know where I am going and am focused and reassured. However, the road soon begins to look unfamiliar to me. Did I miss my turn? I saw the road ended ahead of me. There was a barricade marked with a big red X. I didn’t know what else to do but keep going so I went into the parking lot the road ended at. It was the parking lot of a college campus I think, but it was very dark and no lights were on.

I park my car but am completely confused. I don’t know where I am and when I try to think about how I got there I can’t recall anything. It’s like my mind is wiped clean. I begin to walk toward one of the buildings but it is unfamiliar and this worries me. For a brief moment I am reassured that all will be okay. I have a car, and my phone….wait a minute, where is my phone? I look down at my purse and it is not there. I think, “I must have left it in the car.” Then I think, “Where is my car? I don’t remember where I parked it?” Then I stop and can’t figure out where I am or how I got where I am despite just being in the hallway of the college building I entered.

I remember being afraid that I was losing my mind. It seems that my memory is wiped clean every few minutes. I decide to head back to the parking lot to find my car but cannot recall how I got where I was inside the building and then panic that I won’t be able to get out.  I walk outside and look at the street sign. I think I am on 6th Street but the sign has another name I can’t even read. I panic again, look for my phone, see it is missing and then freak because I can’t recall where I parked my car.

Somehow I manage to make my way back to the parking lot but it is unfamiliar and not the one I think I parked my car in. I walked by several people. I am frantic. Nothing is familiar and my car is nowhere. I see the parking attendant who is shutting the lights off for the parking lot. I walk up to her in a panic saying, “I can’t find my car. I can’t remember how I got here. I don’t know what to do. Please help me.” I repeat this over and over like a crazy person. The attendant takes me by the elbow and walks with me saying, “It’s okay. I can help you.” People walking past look at me like I’m crazy or sick.

Then I am laying in bed in my old bedroom at my mom’s house. I am still panicked and I feel someone standing to my left. I can’t see them, they are like a shadow, but I sense them and can mentally see their outline. I try to move away from them by shifting to my right but they bend over and grab hold of me. This terrifies me and I keep trying to pull away but I can’t move. I feel frozen and still feel hands on me. The hands seem to be pushing, though, not pulling. I begin to feel the person is negative and try to recite the Lord’s Prayer for protection but I can’t remember it and forget it mid-way. I am reminded of my recent amnesia and begin to despair. What is happening to me? Why can’t I remember anything? A male voice says to me, “You said you wanted to never have to work again. Now you’ll have that.” Is he making a joke? I said, “I don’t want to be like this all the time!” I heard back, “It won’t be all the time, just every once in a while.” I was not having that either and tried to pull away again. The hands seemed heavier and my body was still frozen.

Then I thought, “Maybe this person is not bad. Maybe I should stop resisting.” I relaxed my body. The hands remained firmly upon me. I tried to move my body, willing it with every ounce of my being, but I was paralyzed. Then I thought, “Maybe this person is trying to wake me up?”

And I woke up, my body jerking as I willed it to move.

When I woke up I was a bit startled but unafraid. I could feel the energy of the person from my dream still on my left. I tried to communicate with him but got no response, yet I knew he was not bad. Then I felt there were three more beings huddled over me, really close. I said, “What is happening to me?” They said, “You are breaking.” I didn’t understand. They did not communicate anything else to me, just remained standing over me.

lostDream: Get Out!

I was watching my ex-husband getting into a flat bed semi-truck loaded with large logs/lumber. He was leaving and I was not going with him. What is strange is that a man put a rag into the gas tank opening and connected it to an open canister of diesel. I remember thinking he was crazy as it would surely blow up the truck.

There was a discussion with a woman then about my ex separating from his current wife. The woman said, “She will be leaving a good thing (meaning money) like you did. Don’t you regret losing that kind of security?” I thought about it and said, “No. You can buy and buy all you want but it won’t make you happy. I could have stayed and had all the money I ever wanted. I could have done lots of things with that money, but I wouldn’t have been happy. I would have been miserable, maybe even killed myself. It’s not worth it.” There was discussion about leaving my current husband and the drawbacks of it being similar. To be secure versus being happy. Which is better?

Then the scene shifted and I was inside a home standing in front of a bed. I saw two of my children in it and went to get them. My mother-in-law was there and got super angry at me and yelled at me, “Get out of here! I don’t want you in here. Get out!” I told her I was just trying to get my kids out of her space so she could get some sleep. She was furious and ranting and raving so I left. My husband came in and began to defend her and scolded me for purposefully trying to upset her. I felt all the negative energy and tried to get away from it.

When I woke up a song was going through my head – Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall. The part that kept repeating was, “Suddenly I see, this is what I wanna be. Suddenly I see, why the hell it means so much to me….She makes me feel like I could be a tower, a big strong tower. The power to be, the power to give, the power to see, yeah, yeah.”

Considerations

The first dream, although confusing and scary, did not cause me to wake in fear or panic. I suspect I experienced a bit of sleep paralysis. I was very lucid toward the end but couldn’t move my body. The person pushing me was likely trying to wake me up and I wonder if it was the OOB version of me doing it. Hmmm.

I was a bit concerned when I awoke but not freaking out. The message, “You are breaking” bothers me. I wonder if my guidance meant “break” or “brake”. Am I stopping hard, as in “brake”? Or is this some kind of “break” – as in malfunctioning or maybe a vacation? Not sure but it was a strange message.

I am certain I was confronting some of my fears. Fear of going crazy, fear of disassociation, mental issues such as amnesia or dementia. The memory loss was very real and upsetting. I would not want to experience it as my waking reality, that’s for sure! My main focus was on getting back home in the dream so I was probably also confronting my inability to get home (as in spiritual home) because of memory loss.

The second dream was odd and I suspect I was sorting through past decisions from this life. Lumber indicates a fresh start in life is needed. When I woke up I was thinking about my ex-husband and kicking myself for not agreeing to half of his retirement in the divorce agreement. lol As his first wife I could have claimed it but I chose not to because we were only married 5 years and I didn’t see how I deserved to get money he would be working 20+ years to earn. There is some regret at the loss of the income/security I left behind, but I did not love him and would have been miserable if I had stayed. Every time I consider that life decision I do not regret it.

I’m not sure what the song is all about. Perhaps I am seeing a version of myself that is strong and capable – the power to be, give and see?

 

 

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Magnetics and Duality

Wow. Did you see the geomagnetic storm!? This one is a doozie. When they get up above 5 then I normally get physical symptoms – headache, stomach issues, lethargy and/or insomnia. This time I am getting more anger thrown at me. Sigh.

planetary-k-index

The anger thrown my way was in my dreams this time. I had a very active night of dreams but this particular one woke me up.

Dream: Anger from a Friend

I was traveling with a friend toward the mountains. We stopped at a restaurant where we were told that they were trying to rid it of a nasty rat infestation. I saw a man go into the basement portion to look for it. It was cluttered with boxes and crates and I saw the rat running behind the mess. I believe the rat was white.  I don’t know if the man got him. All I remember is seeing a man dressed in work clothing with a hardhat and a flashlight going in after the rat.

We waited in the parking lot which was facing a the mountains. I noticed there was snow on the ground and decided to take pictures of it with my phone. I wanted to send it to a good friend of mine. I recall taking a selfie and I did not look like I do in waking life. I had long, medium brown hair and was quite pretty. I made sure to send that pic to my friend because it had a beautiful shot of the mountains in it.

Then I was in the car jabbering away happily with my friend. I was so happy that we were reunited and wanted to catch up. My friend was silent most of the time while I talked. I recalled discussing all the spiritual things I had been going through and how I felt I was recovering and finally making progress. I remember asking my friend, “Did you go through all that, too?” My friend nodded and I replied, “Oh good! I was starting to think I was nuts.” Then my friend sent a wave of anger and irritation toward me along with an audible sigh that indicated disinterest and annoyance.  Images were thrown at me all at once. I knew the images represented what my friend was focusing on currently. The images were of politics and 3D world things. I saw an image of someone trail running as well as some images that must have come from the media, but I can’t recall them now. My friend said more but the energy and images were enough to cause me to recoil in surprise. This was not a typical response from this particular friend, a friend whom I cherished dearly and would do anything for. In fact, I had only received similar energy once before but it was not prolonged like this. My friend was obviously immersed in 3D world issues and did not want to be bothered with my spiritual excitement.

I woke up suddenly from the backlash of energy. I asked my guidance what was going on and received an answer, “Your friend wants you to move on.” Move on? I didn’t understand. Whatever the problem, though, it was obvious that my presence was not wanted at this time, whether it be physical or spiritual. It saddened me but then I remembered the current intense energies and shrugged off the experience, returning to sleep.

Magnetics and Duality

The rest of the night I had dreams about the dualistic nature of physical reality.  Rather than go into detail about all the dreams, I will relate what my understanding was of the messages being sent via the dreamstate.

First I was shown the Earth positioned between Venus and Mars. In physical location the planet Earth is positioned between two polar opposites – Venus the Goddess of Love and Mars the God of War. How appropriate. And purposeful.

Then I was shown how duality came into being. I saw an image in my mind of a dark mass of energy. I understood this to represent the state of being Whole and pure potential yet to be tapped into. Then the mass began to split in two. A brilliant spark of light resulted for an instant and what was left behind were two distinct masses of energy. Two individual but Whole masses of pure potential.

When this division occurred, duality came into being. There was an entire lesson on the physics of this division but it is lost to me now. In summary, the division created all the forces of the physical universe. Most of the information I received had to do with magnets and how they worked. Essentially, it was relayed to me that all one had to do was change the polarity of a magnetic from North to South to affect what it attracts and repels. So if a magnetic’s polarity is North it will attract only magnetics with a polarity that is South. Once the polarity is changed, however, that magnetic will then repel all magnetics with a polarity that is South.

Note: As I was tying this I kept misspelling “magnet” and typing “magnetic”. I finally requested clarity. I was led to this website and knew the term “magnetic” was the appropriate term. I did not argue as the definition is “anything that creates or has a magnetic field.” In essence, we are all magnetics aren’t we?

Information about magnetics was then applied to individuals. We repel and attract others (and anything with a magnetic field) based upon our own polarity. Yet, our polarity can easily be changed. It can be changed by coming into contact with someone (or something) that has an opposite polarity to us. In other words, put the magnetic in the field of a magnetic with an opposite polarity that is higher than its coercivity, plus a bit extra to neutralize the field it already has, and you change the original polarity of the magnetic.

Lost yet? I am barely following along but then I see the bigger picture so it is all lining up as I write this.

Ultimately, I was being shown this to explain how our relationships with others change throughout our lifetime; how we can be attracted to particular people, places and things only to seem to become repelled by those very people, places and things at a future date. We, as magnetics, change whenever we come into contact with other magnetics. Sometimes we change slowly and other times quite dramatically. I am shown that we add or lose protons (+) and electrons (-) all the time. Usually, this occurs very gradually. Sometimes this process can take lifetimes. Sometimes it can be instantaneous (and quite disruptive as you can imagine).

I wondered about this information. Perhaps the dream I had was showing me that such a change is occurring with my friendship? Is it possible that our polarities are changing, causing us to repel one another when before there was attraction? I was told, “Blend”. This in itself requires further contemplation perhaps for another future post. 🙂

Information about the sun (plasma), solar flares and geomagnetic activity was also relayed to me. I was shown that the dramatic changes occurring on planet Earth are resulting in similar dramatic changes in the magnetics of Earth (which means you and me and all life) and are a direct result of the sun (plasma).

At one point in time all this scientific explanation would have put me off for lacking a “spiritual” component. Yet this entire planet, universe, that we exist in, was created by Spirit (us). Science is just part of the end result of our creation. All of it – protons, neutrons, magnetism, plasma, etc – is a result of that beginning spark created by that split that resulted in duality. We’re living it.

The final message I woke with was that duality is purposeful. It is intended to help us experience ourselves. On my mind was a question posed by my guidance, “Why do you resist duality? Why not embrace it?”

Indeed, why not?

 

Sources

http://science.howstuffworks.com/magnet.htm

https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/themis/auroras/sun_earth_connect.html

http://www.livescience.com/54652-plasma.html

 

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OBE: Blurry Tunnel of Light

I think I am already feeling the energy of the full moon. Had several lucid dreams and an OBE last night into this morning.

Woke at 11pm feeling off. My heart was not feeling right. It didn’t hurt but it was unsettled, like there was this energy tending toward anxiety but I wasn’t anxious. When I turned on my side, my heart would skip beats. This is familiar to me. My heart did that with every one of my pregnancies. Higher blood volume causes it and it is perfectly normal. But I’m not pregnant now. Why is my heart doing that when I am on my right side? Even when I was in other positions my chest felt odd. I had a bit of worry at this time that maybe I am following in my mother’s footsteps and developing arrhythmia. She had to go on medication and doctor’s suggested she have surgery because her’s got so bad she passed out a few times.

So I couldn’t return to sleep for a long while, waiting for my heart to feel normal again. For some reason I determined the cause of my heart issue was dehydration so I got up and drank a bunch of water. It solved the problem.

Dream: Stolen Luggage

I was in a foreign country with a bunch of traveling companions. We had stopped at an apartment and were in the parking lot. A friend saw someone she knew from years ago and went to reunite with them. It was an ex-boyfriend. They were both older and graying. There was another man who was there but he looked ill, like he had AIDS. I remember thinking I knew him but thought of him as a “she”.

Someone came and warned me that our stuff had been messed with. Inside the apartment I couldn’t find my bag. All our things had just been tossed into a corner. I was upset because without it I had nothing. I was especially upset because my identification and wedding ring were in it. I remember wishing I had been wearing my ring. Then I would have it to use as money if I needed it.

I went to use the bathroom and was interrupted by two black priests. I remember trying to go #2 and saying to them, “Do you mind?” They looked at me and went on with whatever they were doing. I don’t think they understood me.

Interpretation

Being in a foreign country represents change in my life. Since I am lost/stuck in it, then I am not ready for this change. I am seeing a friend reunited with an old lover but when I see the person I know he has AIDS, so is terminally ill. Not a good sign. My luggage is lost which means I feel I have lost my identity. Lost ID means the same thing. The lost wedding ring indicates unresolved issues with my marriage. The priests indicate I am looking for spiritual guidance. Since I am using the toilet in front of them I am likely trying to cleanse something I feel is dirty or unclean about myself.

Vision

I had awakened briefly and before returning to sleep received a vision. At first it was in the form of a letter. I saw it was written in Japanese and knew it was from a male who wanted to communicate with me. Who he was, I have no clue. When I saw it I immediately said, “I’m not interested in what you have to say.” The image vanished.

Then I saw a cell phone in front of my eyes, the screen clear and the face of a man began to form in the screen. I again cut it off sending a nasty energy toward whoever was sending it. I was not in the mood.

Then I saw very clearly a closed coffin preparing to be put into the ground. The scene was complete with sunny day, trees, and green grass.

Then the scene shifted again and I saw rain, but it was not normal rain. It was millions of tiny, rainbow crystals falling from the sky.

My interpretation of these visions is that I am going through a death process. The raining crystals is likely related to healing. Rain represents tears or crying and forgiveness and grace.

Lucid Dream: Spiritual Retreat

I was in my old bedroom at my mom’s house. She came into the room, waking me, to ask me if I was going to go with them that morning to the weekend retreat. I told her I wasn’t. She explained what kind of retreat it was and I saw images of it while she spoke. I told her I didn’t need to go and pray to some statue of a saint who spent her lifetime as a nurse taking care of people. My mom said it would help me focus on my heart. I told her I knew quite well how to do that. I got irritated with her and her with me. She left the room.

Then I heard a loud ring, like a doorbell. My step-father yelled he would get it but I got out of bed. I went to the computer and checked FB noticing the FB feed was all messed up. It was like a collage of everyone’s feed and it moved around the blue screen. I could hear people’s conversations and my sister’s was one I was focusing on. I tried to turn off the sound but the speaker was not working. I climbed under the desk and unplugged it but it still wouldn’t turn off. That’s when a newscast began to broadcast really loudly. I got upset I would wake someone and turned the monitor around thinking I could turn it off there. I finally figured out how to turn it down via the speaker.

Then I was in bed again and looking at the wall. A screen was sharing my sister’s FB feed. She was announcing that she had just bought an expensive water filter. I was yelling at the screen because she had just been evicted. Yet she spent $1000 on the machine. I yelled, “How can you be so stupid!?” My husband came in and asked me what was going on. I told him. I saw a yellow jacket wasp on the blanket and told him to kill it. He ignored me. It flew up and then landed again and I wanted it dead yet he still wouldn’t kill it. I prepared to kill it when it landed near his thumb, the stinger touching it. He was unafraid and didn’t move, almost willing it to sting him.

Then I became extremely lucid. I was in my own bed looking at a box standing in the corner of my room. It was black and had a picture I recognized on it. It was a Pandora Star machine! The machine helps induce OBEs. I saw it in action, the lights flashing. I heard someone say, “The lights will be noticed even after you go OOB.” I could see the outline of a man’s shadow standing at the foot of my bed.

Interpretation

I was almost fully lucid during this string of dreams. I think many of the symbols were reflections of things I had been thinking about the previous day. The sounds I heard were noises-off, indicating I was ready to exit my body. My guidance is obviously trying to encourage me to stay in my heart, to teach me, but I feel I don’t need teaching. My irritation at my sister also came through (she was evicted and makes dumb decisions when it comes to money which is why she was evicted). Wasps are negativity. My husband seems to be the source of this negativity. I want to kill it, but he seems to want to be its friend. The Pandora Star was obviously there to get me to go OOB. 🙂

chiron-the-wounded-healerOBE: Blurry Tunnel of Light

Immediately I knew I could exit my body. I sat up thinking, “I can do this!” There was no strange energy in my chest, no heaviness or sluggishness. It felt very real and I think that is why I was encouraging myself.

I stood up and went into the hallway. I could hear my family moving about and went toward a bedroom. My vision was on but extremely blurry, like how I use to see without my glasses before I had laser surgery to correct my vision. I saw in front of me a very, very long, golden lit hallway resembling a tunnel. I followed it despite only see blurry yellow and shadows. I said aloud, “I can see clearly now.” The song came to mind as I said it. My vision cleared instantly but still was not crystal clear. I saw my husband standing near the dresser putting socks on our youngest. I smiled and went toward him asking, “What are you doing?” He said, “You said you didn’t want to go.” I felt happy to see him but at the same time I felt repelled by him. This contradiction seemed to affect my OBE because as I went to hug him I was sucked backward down the tunnel and back into my body.

As I awoke, I heard someone say, “Chiron 3-4”. And then I heard, “Chiron the wounded healer “. I remember reading yesterday that this next full moon in Virgo (tomorrow, March 12) will be influenced by Chiron. I believe Chiron is in my chart.

I tried to go back OOB but just wasn’t feeling it. I had become to aware and awake and to try and go back would be difficult. There was a strange feeling with me as I got out of bed. It felt like I had no future and no past. I didn’t like it.

It was raining outside when I woke. So I guess the rest of the song from my OBE was not meant as a message – “It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun shiny day.” Not here. lol

The OBE was showing me my current situation that needs healing. The conflicted feelings I have for my husband need to be addressed. The fact that he tells me, “You didn’t want to go” suggests he is going to go without me; leave me behind. I cannot see the situation clearly, though, so there is more to uncover before it can be resolved.

 

 

 

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Revelations from an Encounter with my Grandfather

I met my grandfather in the dreamstate this morning. The meeting was very different than previous ones.

Dream: Revelations from an Encounter with my Grandfather 

I recall visiting with a young man whose energy I recognized as my grandfather’s.

History: My grandfather passed away in 2005 at the age of 79. He refused to eat or drink, in effect slowly starving himself. Later he was often seen in Spirit at the location of my family home built on land he passed onto me. My daughter, born in 2008, saw him walking down the stairs and called him “the funny old man”. She also saw him as a baby, following him with her eyes. At these times her electronic toys would go off from within a closed closet.

During our visit, the conversation came mostly telepathically which I then translated into words in order to remember what was said.

He told me that he was currently in an incarnation. His body once again male – Caucasian with dark hair and eyes. He told me quite enthusiastically that his intention was to follow a path he was unable to follow in his past life (the life with me as his granddaughter). With this he showed me how, in his past life, he had been in the Navy but remained at a lower rank, unable to go any higher because of his education and individual self-limiting beliefs. He saw his inability to provide for his family as a great failing of his, although from my perspective he did just fine and well in this endeavor. In his current incarnation he planned to experience success in career. I saw his intention in a projection. An image of a man dressed in Naval dress attire with white gloves and looking very professional and patriotic. There was a sense of great pride with this image. I could feel his excitement and enthusiasm, his heart bursting with all that he hoped to accomplish.

I understood fully then the inner turmoil of my grandfather, something he hid from everyone, maybe even his own wife. In creating his next life, he chose to work on this one area based upon conclusions he drew upon evaluation and review of that life. Had it been my life, I would have focused on some area completely different. But it was not my life and in his communicating his reasoning to me, I had no doubt that his choice was sound. It was very clear to me that the lessons we choose for our incarnations are merely an exploration into some area of self. Nothing more. We truly are our own judge and jury.

There was much more passed onto me in this encounter. Most of it merely impressions and feelings now. However, I took a good look at him standing before me. He looked nothing like the grandfather I knew.

The encounter expanded my understanding of how incarnating works. From the location where we met and communicated, the incarnation was as if it has already occurred and completed. There was not a time element, yet I continued to try and rationalize it in my mind. I was doing the math. If he died in 2005 then he would only be 12 years old, not the man standing before me and most definitely not an officer in the Navy as he had communicated. It was as if he had presented me with his Book of Life and we had examined but one chapter in the thousands it contained.

I was left feeling for my grandfather very differently than I felt while he was alive. In life I loved him but our experiences together defined that love. It was mired with expectation, experience and condition. In the dream I felt the love but it was not limited by those things. It just was. We were as if old friends traveling a path together. He was no longer my grandfather but my spiritual “sibling”, equal yet shaped by his individual experiences. I could see his life tapestry but it did not define him. Instead it was his work of art, his creation and something to behold and be in awe of. I shared in his excitement for his creation as he did in mine.

 

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Dream: Wedding Preparations

Woke at 4:30am again. I seem not to be able to sleep past that time this week. Prior to waking I had been in an interesting dream.

Dream: Wedding Preparations

I was in the mansion of my soon-to-be husband. Family was gathering, though most were not family I recognized. Some were people I knew in this life, like my best friend in high school. Everyone was gathering for dinner and my fiance was offering appetizers and trying to get everyone to feel comfortable. I felt a bit nervous and uncertain. I was close to lucidity but never crossed that threshold.

My finance offered me peanut brittle and I passed at first saying I couldn’t eat the peanuts. Eventually I took a small bite without peanuts in it. The taste was sweet and I remember that it settled my nerves. I recognized my fiance from previous dreams. He had dark hair, medium skin tone, was tall and thin and older than me. He had deep smile lines and was an ordinary looking man.

I spoke with my finance for a while, specifically about my past marriages and how this one was different. There was concern on my part about our wedding night. I had never had relations with him and was worried about how it would be. I wondered what it would be like to make love being ours was an arranged marriage.

At some point a child showed me a new computer tablet. It had all brand new apps on it and we were looking at them, wondering how to use them. I remember being curious but not overly excited. I was still nervous.

Considerations

When I woke I knew this dream was significant. I have had other similar dreams and all of them seem to indicate a wedding coming soon. My guidance has been giving me messages about the full moon for a while in the dreamstate. There were four and this month, January, would be the last of the four (the first dream was in October 2016). Considering my most recent dreams indicate a merging of the masculine and feminine is taking place, everything seems to be adding up. I still felt nervous when I woke and a bit uneasy. I am trying not to overthink it.

 

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Belief is Limitation

There was a Shift yesterday that came in quietly, but I noticed it. For me, it was subtle at first. I almost didn’t notice except that I became a bit overwhelmed for no real reason. Later, while watching the last two episodes of the OA, I had a visitor in Spirit who approached me from my left. He was a guide, but not mine. His presence was obvious and when his message was given, he left. Afterward, I was overcome with emotion.

Dream: Pending Release

I slept deeply with few dreams. After waking early in the morning, I returned to sleep and entered into a vivid dream.

I was inside a large, cinder block room. It was an old, previously abandoned prison. I was an employee, my main job was to clean up.

I was intrigued by the people who visited there, renting the space. A man who seemed familiar, came in along with some others. They were teaching spiritual classes on various topics. My eyes followed this particular man for a while as I tried to figure out my draw to him. He was a normal looking man but his hair was very long, almost to his waist. He had eyes that drew me in and when he looked at me I felt he was speaking to me, though I heard no words.

I lingered near him, listening to what he was saying to a couple. He was discussing astrology with them and I remember the woman saying she was an Aquarius. The couple had never had children and she used astrology as her reasoning for this, citing that she just never felt a need to have them. My interest got the better of me and I interjected, saying to the group, “I have an Aquarius rising and I have three children.”

After this, the man and I locked eyes and I felt nervous, looking down and walking away and back to my cleaning duties. He went on with his teaching and I stayed nearby, observing the other teachers and their classes. I recall seeing a man I knew back in 2003-2004, a business owner who allowed me to do readings in his store. I knew him as Big Mike. When I saw him, I smiled and he recognized me. I went up to him and hugged him, feeling the familiarity of his embrace. He was wearing what I recall him wearing when I knew him, long, flowing, colorful moo-moo-like clothing that hid his obesity.

There was a scene here where I was looking at a piece of paper on which I had written a question. A man came up to it and wrote in big letters, “GOD” and said, “That is better.” I looked at my question and read it back to myself. I can’t remember now what I had written but the answer to it was, “Ask God.”

There was an entire music-related scene here. I heard the music and recognized it. The people listening to it were familiar. I swear one was my cousin. I heard the name Metallica, but the song I heard sounded more like Gun n’ Roses or ACDC to me. I remember hearing a particular part of the song – no,no,no…. and on and on. I told my cousin it was not Metallica. lol

As it got later, I found myself mopping the floor. I was instructed to do it a certain way and saw that the floor turned into this brown, shag carpet. I picked up my mop and all the fibers of it were gone leaving only a nub. I got another mop that was old and grungy and began to mop and disturbed a group of red ants that were eating dead cockroaches. There was an interruption here where two women came in and searched every third locker for a bomb. I remember trying to help.

Then I was talking to a woman I once knew in 2003-2004. She told me she and her husband had adopted a baby boy. I looked down and saw a baby curled up inside my mop bucket. I pointed to him and she smiled. For some reason I was painting  picture of a tree with bare branches. I used pink paint from another bucket but as I painted, it was mucking up and too thick so I had to remove it. It came off in layers, some thick with fibers.

As I prepared to leave, I noted the time. 12:15am. Another employee left and said goodbye. I remember knowing I would stay until 12:30 and looking forward to my drive home.

bridger_mountains_-_copy_640x359_640

Messages

When I awoke I did a lot of shifting in and out of the in-between. There were messages that came quickly. Often I would repeat these messages over and over again until I would come to full awareness.

The first one I received was the God message from the dream. It came into my mind vividly and I noted it, recognizing that the message was to seek guidance from Source/God. I knew how to do this. Focus on my heart. So I did. With this I felt a welling up of pressure in my chakras, especially the lower three, and fell immediately into the in-between.

There was one message I saw and/or repeated at least 7 times. I even wrote it down thinking I was awake. Finally, somehow I managed to pull myself out of the in-between. There was strong energy in all my lower chakras. My root chakra felt to be expanded to my knees and my solar plexus was pushing upward toward my heart. I got out of bed, got a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote down the messages.

Everything we are is right outside our belief. 

When you have belief, you have limitation.

I slipped briefly into the in-between where I found myself standing in front of a pile of what looked like strips of pink meat. I was gathering it up and sliding it toward the edge of the table where I gathered it into my arms. I repeated several times, “I can say goodbye. I can say goodbye. I CAN say goodbye.”

This woke me up because I felt from my guidance a questioning, like, “Can you?”

Then I saw very clearly written in my mind:

When_________happens, I will __________.

As soon as I recognized it I heard:

Conditional thinking.

Every time I fell into the in-between messages would come through and I would be prompted to write them down. So that’s what I did.

If you feel it, DO IT.

What do you want to do?

Go to the mountains.

Then DO IT. 

With this last message and conversation I finally was too awake. I stayed in bed, feeling the strange energy swirling through my entire body. Chakras seeming to push on each other. I kept imaging myself getting into my car and driving to the mountains. With this I had thoughts, wondering what I would do when I got there, wondering about my job. There was an entire conversation about my job, too. I was being asked if I wanted to go back. I do not. Then I was hearing that if I didn’t want to go back, why go back? I remember saying I needed the money and then being asked about my beliefs about money. The conversation got too much for me. I kept remembering the first message: “Everything we are is right outside our belief.” It was too hard for me to take it all in. Overwhelming even.

My guidance reminded me over and over, “It’s simple. If you feel it, do it.”

Right now my head feels weird. Energy is pooling around the back of it and stretching around the sides of my nose. It is a familiar feeling, one I haven’t had in a long time. It is like something is pushing down from above, via my crown.It makes me feel unfocused and I am fighting the drift into the in-between even as I sit here typing.

The time of 12:30 continues to come to mind. I am wondering if it is not a time, but a date?

 

 

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Kundalini Dream and Reconstitution

Woke at 5am again and could not remember one dream. I requested to go OOB and heard, “No.” I understood straight away that my energy body wasn’t adequately charged or aligned for an OBE this morning. Disappointed, I asked, “Then can I just get something? Anything? Maybe more Kundalini??” lol I didn’t get a response which to me is the same as, “Maybe” or “Okay.”

Dream: Renting Rooms

I was in a small, older house, with a group of people. There was much activity. I sat in a chair next to a sofa in the living area with several others. The sofa was gold, like from the 1960-70’s. It was very worn in certain places and had a multi-colored crocheted throw draped over the back.

I chatted with someone about a job. The job was similar to a physical trainer but with EMT-type experience. There was a young girl in need of one of these trainers for when she exercised because she had a disability and might pass out mid-exercise. Her disability involved inability to breathe and seizures. What is odd was that it felt like I may need this kind of help – like the girl of the discussion was really me.

I changed the topic to going fishing. I suggested three places. In my mind I could see them. One was a lake, another a pond and another a circular section of a river. I remember saying, “I haven’t gone fishing in a long time. I would really love to go.” It was agreed that we would go but then I couldn’t find my glasses. I searched, finding various other pairs that were not mine. Right when I figured I would give up my search, I decided to look in a drawer. I found them tucked away inside. I remember saying that they were “well worn” and “old”.

I never left the house. The next thing I recall was that rooms were being rented out for the day for various purposes. I watched as two women got keys to a room from an older, dark haired lady. They went inside and locked the door. It was obvious they were lovers and I remember smirking and then wondering if maybe all the rooms were being rented to couples.

I knew I was an employee there, like a caretaker and part of the “crew”. I gathered up dirty, blue bedding and washed it. After seeing the couple go into the room I was a bit grossed out handling the bedding. lol As I was working I saw a very tiny, blonde woman with her small child hiding in the corner. I went over to investigate and she spoke to me in another language. She seemed to be crouching in the corner near the washing machine and I wondered if she was frightened. I also worried about her child. I asked her if she was okay and she ran away, looking behind her frantically. I told her I was worried about her, wouldn’t hurt her and just wanted to make sure she was safe. She kept speaking in another language so I have no idea what she said. She was very small, though, like midget size. She reminded me of a nymph or fairy.

115445-butternutKundalini Dream

Finished there, I went into the kitchen where a man was standing near the sink. I knew him and spoke to him like we were old friends. He was preparing food and I stopped to help him, squeezing in next to him as he stood over the sink. I held a chunk of butternut squash in my hand. The orange color is very vivid and memorable. I was working at getting to the center of the piece in my hand when he gently grabbed my hand and said, “No, eat the whole thing.” I had been about the drop the rind but stopped and put the squash on it and said, “Like this?” I held it up and then put the squash in his mouth for him to taste.

For some reason I reached up and kissed him squarely on the mouth. In the midst of kissing him I was confused by my actions. I was thinking he was not my type at all. He was a very large, burly man with facial hair and I recall that he had an accent – Australian.

He picked me up as we kissed. It surprised me. It was like I weighed nothing. I wrapped my legs around his midsection and we just kept making out. lol It was around this time, though, that my lucidity began to peak and the energetic sensations became noticeable.

My entire chakra system was activated but not sequentially. Instead it was like my chakras were blinking. Some blinked simultaneously. I felt like an energetic polka dot. I could feel all of them but some of them seemed to be in the wrong place, like to the left or right of where they should be or too close to one another. Or maybe I had additional chakras because it sure seemed like there were energy centers all over the place.

I remember talking to the man between kisses but I don’t know what we said now. All I recall now is thinking, “I shouldn’t be doing this.” He whispered to me several times, “You’re so good.” The last time he said it I woke up.

Reconstitution

My entire torso was aching when I woke up, especially my lower back and solar plexus region. The energetic sensations lingered for some time but instead of jumping all over the place it was mainly my mid-section that was buzzing. My neck was stiff like I had slept wrong, but since I was laying on my back I highly doubt that was the reason.

I could feel my guide and asked him, “Why did you look like that? Why were you so large?” He laughed and said, “Was I?” His response caused me to consider that perhaps I saw him that way for a reason. I recalled other K experiences and realized that his largeness represented indulgence and prosperity. The butternut squash was also symbolic. Symbolic of the second chakra.

I wondered about why he said, “You’re so good.” I asked him what he meant. Good at what? Kissing? lol But then I understood. He was responding to my statement. I’m trying to be a “good girl”.

Then I wondered about the strange energy. What is going on? He said, “Reconstitution.” All of my chakras are being reconstituted in preparation for the Kundalini. I remembered how I was warned about the last part of December. I was asked to prepare myself for the K energy, to eat properly, meditate, do yoga, etc. My guide tried to explain what reconstitution meant. He asked me, “What happens when you renovate a kitchen?” I said, “You completely gut it and then replace everything with something new and rearrange the space.” He said, “Yes. That is what is happening to you. You are changing.”

I fell into the in-between somehow and caught myself saying, “But she’s not human.” As I said this, I could see “her”. She was not human. Entirely of another species, likely an E.T. but my memory of what I saw is blurry. Her coloring was blue and there was a pulsating, multi-colored light within that resembled her blood maybe, or something else. I saw these tentacles coming off her and retracted from what I saw. I said it again, “She’s not human.” This is what brought me back to full awareness. What was that?

I thought perhaps I was seeing myself in another form. When I tried to remember her face all I recall seeing was slits, like for breathing maybe? The coloring of the skin was odd and really creeped me out. It was like she was an amphibian. Weird! I wondered if this was what Arcturians looked like? Or was this some other species?

I pushed it out of my mind and tried to return to the in-between. I didn’t but I heard that a reunion was taking place at other levels, in other dimensions. What I experience here is merely a reflection.

 

 

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Dream: Kundalini Formula

I woke at 5am with my mind full of concerns. I had asked for clarity about several issues prior to sleep but when I awoke I had none. So I requested clarity again. Why is it that my root chakra has been missing in my astral experiences? Why am I having so many physical issues related to my lower two chakras? Where is the Kundalini?

Dream: Lemonade

I was a partaking in a study. Each individual was to take one spherical shaped, yellow pill the size of a marble. Throughout the dream they were referred to as “lemonade“. There were instructions given, but I can’t remember them now. I do recall taking one of the pills and it tasting like lemonade, though. The main part I recall is someone holding a long, dark colored, circular cord about two inches wide that didn’t seem connected to anyone or anything. It had been punctured at one point and fluid was pouring out. I was alarmed, asking what could be done about it. The man in charge said that I would need to take five of the pills all at once. I was concerned. What would it do to me? I watched as he showed me. I saw the five pills all enter the energetic system. They appeared as yellow tendrils of energy and went directly to the brain and split into five distinct sections. I could see thoughts coming off, like branches of a tree. I don’t remember now what the thoughts said despite them being written in thin air. However, they appeared to be re-wiring the brain somehow.

Vibrations

I awoke in the midst of very chaotic, jagged vibrations. It felt as if my energy body was being jolted back and forth very rapidly. Additionally, there was a huge bubble of energy expanding from my root chakra. I couldn’t distinguish the root chakra in the energy, though. It felt more like an expansion of indistinct energy. Along with this my heart, third-eye and crown were active, though not as intensely. They felt dull in comparison. I also had pain in my lower back and pelvic region. It was uncomfortable. Just as I began to worry something was very wrong with me, the pain reduced substantially.

Dream: Kundalini Formula

Somehow I returned to sleep. I ended up in a parking lot outside a large mall that had been turned into a school. I searched for a parking place. There were many empty spaces but I wanted one in the shade. I saw several shaded spots but no trees to provide shade. Weird.

I was pushing my car rather than driving it. It’s engine was off and I was slowly putting it in various spots. My car was white, too, and not one I recognized.

I bypassed a spot because it had a baby stroller in it. I finally chose a space close to the front but I had chosen a lot nowhere near the main entrance. Concerned, I began to worry how I would find my way in. A woman and a man were outside with me. I knew them as fellow teachers. The man went inside using his key and the woman stayed with me. I went toward the entrance and found it, going inside. The woman followed me.

I had a red folder with me that I opened to review the contents. I had scribbled information down – dreams, thoughts, etc. Most of it mathematical equations. The page full of equations was titled, “Kundalini”. The woman saw it and asked to see it. I handed it to her, embarrassed that she would see my mathematical incompetence and judge me for my interest in Kundalini. She began to make corrections to the equations. I saw lines of fractions with letters mainly. The top row looked something like 1/a + 1/1 + a/1 + a/a = 1a/1a. She replaced the 1’s in the answer with 8’s. She did corrections on all of the lines, there were at least 7. Each line of fractions had different variables. They followed the page down in sequence: A, B, C, D….  In my discomfort and embarrassment I made excuses for my errors saying, “I’m a social studies teacher.” lol

The woman was impressed, holding the page of equations up and reviewing all of my notes. She asked me, “Can I make a video of this? This is excellent material!” I agreed. Before long there was a holographic screen up in front of me showing the video she created using my equations. I saw an outline image of a person. Then a rush of white light came in through the crown and flushed out the entire chakra system from top to bottom. What was left behind was a white, iridescent, swirling energy in the center where the spine should be. The white light expanded to fill up the energy body almost entirely.

The video shocked me for some reason and I was frozen there not knowing what to think. The woman was ecstatic and asked me if she could distribute the video in her name via the school. I agreed. She asked me to follow her up stairs. I did.

The rest of the dream was of me following her up 7 flights of stairs. Each one I climbed was different. Some longer than others. The sixth flight was the longest and steepest. I thought I would fall down but made it to the top. She was waiting for me at the top of the 7th. The 7th was very short, probably only five steps, but the only way to get to it was to jump because it was not linked to the other stairs by a landing. Instead, it seemed to come out of the wall a good distance above me. She gave me directions on how to jump up to it. I did. What is odd here is that there was a babydoll that spoke to me at this point. I have no idea what it said now but the woman activated it.

Explanation

When I awoke I spoke with my guide who appeared both as a woman and a man. It was odd and when I asked about it I was told, “I am YOU.” Then I was asked,”Are you only a woman?” I understood and said, “No, I am both.” I was told then, “As am I. I am you.”

The Kundalini dream was curious to me. Wasn’t the K energy suppose to go from bottom to top? Why was it shown to be doing the opposite? There was a in-flow of knowingness at this time. There lower two chakras are the current problem. There is a rejection of them and as such there are physical side-effects. I was encouraged to reflect upon the areas of life these chakras relate to. The answer would be seen therein.

I have had a headache ever since waking up.