Tag Archives: energy

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Trapped Energy

I couldn’t sleep last night. My mind was quite active and my body was as well. I could not keep still!

Somehow I managed to drift off to sleep and had an odd, semi-lucid dream about energy work. I awoke from this dream feeling very off and fidgety. It is hard to describe really what I was feeling as I have not ever really felt it before. Yet, I somehow knew what was wrong without knowing how I knew.

Trapped Energy

When I woke up from the semi-lucid dream state I was in, I was overly warm. I won’t say hot but I felt an intensity of energy that was pulsating in different areas on my body. This weird sensation seemed to generate a heat from within that made me very uncomfortable. The heat was not so much physical as it was spiritual, but I did feel warmer than normal.

The odd sensation made me feel the need to move and squirm. I guess I thought it would help but it didn’t. The more I moved, the more uncomfortable I got.

I was suddenly hit with the idea that I needed to focus on the energy and see where it was in my body. When I did this, I felt energy in spots all over my body. I felt it mostly in my lower body and abdomen. What is odd is that the energy would be in a certain spot and then jump to another spot. It was like I had polka dots of energy all over my body and they were lighting up and then going out only to transfer to another spot.

Recognizing that I needed to do something with this strange, haphazard energy, I got up out of bed and sat in a chair. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and focused on sending energy from my crown down into my feet. I did this for quite some time, visualizing a flow of energy down my spine and into the ground. As I did this, the fidgety feeling got less and less. After about five minutes, my eyes began to droop and I felt very relaxed. It had worked!

When I got back into bed I felt the energy was still not settled like it should be. I asked for assistance and felt the need to do Reiki on myself. I placed my hands on my midsection, where most of the energy still lingered, and focused on pulling energy out with one hand and pushing on the energy with the other. I eventually felt I should place one hand, my right one, palm up. When I did this, I felt the energy subside even more.

As this was happening, I felt energy settle over the top of my head around my third eye and up to my crown. I felt like I was wearing an energy helmet. I knew this meant I was receiving healing from my guides. Thank you!

Then the energy in my midsection intensified over my root and second chakras. It was a bit painful in my lower back. I just continued to focus on moving the energy out.

I felt all at once that I needed to focus on bringing energy in from my crown, so I moved my hands to my head. I did this for a little while and then felt I needed to use my hands to push the energy down. So I went over my entire body with my hands in a sweeping motion, pushing the energy down past my knees. I did this about six times.

Finally, I felt the need to move the energy out from both sides of my body. So I started in the center and with the same sweeping motion moved the energy to the side and then down. I did this about three times.

Feeling balanced and calm, I was able to easily fall asleep. I now understand why some people who experience this weird energy feeling find they need to sleep on the floor. I wonder if what I felt was what some people call “vibrations”? I could feel a buzzing within the dots of energy but it was not like the vibrations I get when about to go OOB.

Symptom Update

  • Ringing in ears
  • Popping in ears
  • Skin irritation/dryness
  • Vivid dreams
  • Energy fluctuations
  • Trapped energy
  • Restlessness
  • Moodiness

I have either a ringing or popping in my ears daily now. It is like I am changing altitude when I get the popping and the ringing is very slight, almost unnoticeable. The restlessness has been more intense. Yesterday I went on three walks and I have been feeling more inclined to exercise, feeling it is needed now more than ever. After last night’s weird energy issue, I can see why I was drawn to be outside so much that day.

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Information Transfer

I almost forgot something very important that happened this morning.

Information Transfer

A little bit of background first. Last night, prior to going to sleep, I began to wonder about what was to come next. I again asked to be shown and given more detail about what exactly I am suppose to be doing right now. I also asked for healing because my collar bone on the right has been catching and becoming quite painful. My guide responded to the first question by telling me, “There is more information, information you have yet to process”. I did not question this as it appeared so obvious. Then he said to the latter request, “Done”.

At some point, during an in-between state that I often find myself in, I became aware that I was doing something odd. I don’t recall exactly when this was during the night but I recall it quite vividly. I will try to describe it the best I can.

I became aware of reaching up above my head into “space” and pulling down energy. I could see my glowing yellow astral hands and astral arms reaching up, grabbing the energy and pulling it down. I then placed this energy inside my energy body, specifically at my crown. I don’t recall there being specific information in this process, only that the energy had density and light and color. The color of this energy was dark, almost black but it was surrounded by light and when it came into my energy body it was absorbed quickly and the dense darkness evaporated.

I completed one cycle of taking energy and integrating it into my own and then went on to another. It was like I was taking bites of food, putting them into my mouth and slowly chewing on them. Bite after bite after bite. I don’t know how many times I did it but eventually my consciousness became too much and I “woke up” suddenly within an energy transfer, astral eyes wide and mind wondering what was going on.

In awe, I looked above at the space where I was getting these dense, dark energy balls. It appeared to be four or five feet directly above my head. I sensed a presence above me as well. It was also dark and hard to make out. I could tell it had human features and was much taller than a human.

My first thought was that I was in communication with something not of this universe. I immediately shut down that thought because it seemed ridiculous. Plus, I didn’t want to fall victim to the extraterrestrial hype that is plastered all over the internet.

But what was it? And what was I doing?

The only explanation I have come up with relates back to what my guide told me prior to sleep:  “There is more information, information you have yet to process”. I suspect that this exchange was more than just energy, it was information. I was slowly taking it in and integrating it. I wish, though, that I remembered more. I guess I will add it to my list of unknowns.

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Detroit

I had another interesting Kundalini experience last night. At least I think that is what it was.

I meditated prior to going to bed. This time I did not immediately fall asleep which surprised me. I did not do any self-healing or any specific meditation exercise. I have not felt the need to do such in quite some time. I did, however, focus upon my third-eye by rolling my eyes slightly up and back. I let my mind go as blank as possible, allowing thoughts to come in and then pass through without focusing on them. I also focused upon how my body felt, seeking out any tense spots or areas that hurt or felt off in some way.

I felt the normal sensations that have been coming to me when I do this. Specifically, my nose and the areas on either side light up with energy. One night my nose felt like it was going to fly off my face! Last night, though, the energy was more pronounced on the left side than the right. As usual it felt like a mask of energy over the front of my face.

I also felt my entire lower right leg below the knee covered in a sheet-like energy. It felt like my leg was wrapped in a large, soft sock. I was intrigued by this since that spot I mentioned in my last post is on that leg. I took a seaweed bath to try and suck toxins out of my body and wonder if that had anything to do with it.

At some point, I think when I had reached a point of “no thought” and just being because I do not recall thinking or dreaming or anything, I was startled awake by a strange and unfamiliar energy. It hit me suddenly and from the right, pouring through my entire body. I startled because I felt like I was about to be swept out of my body and upward because the energy hit with such intensity that I felt a slight falling and then lifting sensation. It made my body feel very, very heavy and dense and my entire head felt as if it were going to explode the pressure was so intense. Both of my ears filled with huge amounts of pressure and I could not hear anything but this muffled sound of air and my own heart beat. The sensation in my ears was exactly like what I have experienced when taking off in an airplane but I was laying in my own bed!

As I sat there in what I can only describe as a “bubble” of energy my guide whispered, “Do not be afraid. You are okay”. Interestingly, I wasn’t afraid at all, just curious and wondering what would happen next. Would I suddenly pop out of my body? Would I begin to hear voices or strange noises?

The odd pressurized sensation began to lessen in my right ear. At the same time it intensified in my left. I heard a slight ringing but nothing major. A minute or so later the pressure moved to my right ear and was relieved in my left. Then it repeated – left, right, left, right.

I know I must have tensed my body quite a bit from the sudden energy inflow because my guide reminded me to relax. So, I began to focus on my body and then noticed the heavy, dense energy was not on my lower body, below my hips, at all. I knew then that I needed to move the energy and so, with a quick thought and mental imagery, pushed the energy down and out my feet. When I did this, the dense energy moved very easily down my legs and the pressure in my ears normalized. I also moved my hands which had begun to feel like dead weights and when I did this the heaviness began to dissipate.

Detroit

I fell asleep quite quickly after that. I had once again asked my guide for more clarity on the message I received the day before. What exactly was I suppose to be doing here on Earth?

I found myself driving along snow-covered roads in an older, residential neighborhood. For some reason I knew where I was: Detroit, Michigan. I was heading to my new job and was looking for a specific address. On my way, I passed up the house accidentally and when I attempted to turn around I fishtailed out of control. When my car came to a stop a group of bystanders began to crowd around the car. I looked up as one approached. He was a tall, fairly young, African American man wearing familiar gang attire. I immediately became suspicious but not afraid. One of his buddies was behind him smiling a wicked looking smile. The man told me I should not be out alone at night in these parts. I told him I knew that. The man’s buddy then got out a knife and I knew that I needed to get out of there.

Somehow I closed the door and sped off. I felt they were pursuing me so I went very fast down the streets and then took the wrong turn on purpose. When I came close to my destination, I turned off my headlights and then slowly parked the car. A man was on the streets and I yelled to him to keep an eye out for the men.

I walked up to the door of the residence and knocked because I could not get in. I did not have a key. I heard a response but when I pushed on the door it opened.

Inside I was met by a nice, older woman dressed in very professional attire. She led me into a room where I sat down. Other individuals came in one by one. I only recall now the man who sat on my left and the woman who sat on my right. The man on my left was blonde and had an odd energy about it. I did not want to touch him because I knew he was interested in me in a sexual or romantic way. He rubbed his foot against mine and kept trying to have a conversation with me. He had an odd smell or something about him. I just didn’t want anything to do with him.

A tall, dark haired woman dressed in a suit and high heels walked up in front of the group and welcomed us. I listened, mesmerized. This was my new job and I needed to pay close attention. The man next to me kept bothering me throughout and I struggled to hear everything that was being said. I do remember discussing EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and other healing modalities. I was the oldest of a group of five people who would be working at this place. I don’t know what kind of place it was exactly but it seemed to be a school but all I heard was “charter”. I remember feeling a bit apprehensive about getting along with my group but not about the job itself.

Another thing that was very distinct here was that we were in Detroit. It kept being brought up and I remember wondering why I was so far north. I have been there only once and I didn’t like the place. It felt tainted by negative energy. I think that may be what it symbolized in this dream, too, because when I woke up I immediately told my guide, “I don’t want to work with those kinds of people”. In my mind I was recalling the students I use to work with. I worked with them for 8 years. They were either adjudicated, on probation or just completely wild and unwilling to follow the rules.

Kundalini_truthinsideofyouFurther Considerations

Now that I am considering my dream, I wonder if it was the answer to the question I asked prior to going to sleep. I did not specify this time that the answer not come in the form of a dream. I wish I had now. When I awoke from this dream it was the first time all night and I could not go back to sleep. I kept feeling urged to get out of bed, too. All I could think of was Detroit. Detroit? Why? And the people I was with, especially the blonde man, were familiar. Was he one of my guides? Why was he coming onto me? And why were they all so much younger than me? The man was 26 (not sure how I know this) and the woman was still in her 20s also. The entire dream/experience was similar to an OBE in that I had full awareness of what was going on while in the dream. I knew why I was there. I was starting a new job and this was my orientation. I knew the people, though I cannot remember their names now. I knew the location.

And the part that does not escape my notice is that I was arriving to be a teacher or something similar. I was not a student. This was my new JOB. And I cannot help but think of what my guide said to me yesterday (which I almost forgot until now). He said, “You need a purpose. You will have it soon”.

Sometimes I think all of this is just too surreal. I still catch myself thinking this whole experience is just beyond real and has to be a dream. I am reminded of the Bible and Moses when God spoke to him, giving him instruction on what to do. Is what I am experiencing like that? Was Moses talking to God? Or was he talking to his Higher Self or a guide? And I am not trying to say I am the next Moses. LOL I am just thinking out loud.

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Transference

I couldn’t sleep last night. After all the nights of deep, restful sleep, last night it was near impossible for me to sleep well. I didn’t fall asleep until around midnight and then when I would sleep I was haunted by uncomfortable dreams all of which included my mom, sister and her husband.

Monkey Attack

The first dream I had was the most unsettling. In the dream I was at my mother’s house visiting and my sister and her husband were there. My cousin (sister’s husband) was throwing one of his tantrums. He likes to pout and gets this really negative energy that hangs around him like a shroud. No amount of communication can get through to him. My mom and sister were both trying to get through to him and he had resorted to yelling. I got involved a little but I actually taunted him more than I helped the situation. I do remember his main complaint was with his in-laws (my mom and her new husband) and I had responded to this by saying I had a great relationship with my ex-in-laws. He didn’t like hearing this.

Both my sister and cousin went into separate rooms. My cousin went to bed in one room and my sister got on the computer in the other. I was going to go in her room to get my things when I realized I did not have my contact lens case or my stuff to stay overnight. I spoke to my mom’s husband about it, saying I did not want to drive all the way home to get those things and would prefer to stay the night.

He joined my mom in bed while I got ready to sleep on the sofa. It was then that I heard a pounding, putter-putter, sound coming from the window. When I looked up I saw a large black and white tomcat trying to get in through the window. I yelled to my mom about it but she stayed in bed. I then saw it go to her bedroom window and try to get in as well.

The cat returned to the kitchen window where I first saw it and had in its paws a small nail file which it was using to try and cut through the screen. I yelled to my mom, “Mom the cat is trying to get in still!”. No reply from her.

The cat was able to get in somehow and so I went to get it to put it back outside. When I did it turned into a large, black monkey with a squished-in face and beady eyes. It lurched at me and grabbed onto my right hand biting down hard. I could feel the pain in the center of my hand and yelled to my sister to get a banana to try and lure it away. The monkey looked at me fiercely, intent on attack and I knew it would go after me if I tried anything. I stared at it, fear hitting me as I realized the pain was not going away and neither was the monkey. The skin on my legs began to raise up in gooseflesh and it felt like a thousands needles pushing into my skin. It hurt pretty bad and I could still feel the monkey’s teeth in my right hand.

Transference

I awoke and the pain was real. My hand was not hurting as bad as my entire lower body which was covered in painful goosebumps. I have never felt such a sensation! It literally felt like each hair that was standing on end was a needle poking into my skin. I rubbed my hand, hoping movement would stop the pain but it did not. My hand gradually began to feel better but the skin sensation would not stop. I thought to my guide, “Is this what you mean by discomfort???” I got no reply.

Eventually the prickly pain subsided and I tossed and turned for a while. I began to doze off but kept wondering about the dream and the weird pain that came with it. My guide was near and I felt him wrap me in his energy and when he did my legs got the same prickling pain in them as they did in and after the dream except this time the pain was from my shins down through my feet. As it intensified the pain began to slowly move down my legs and out of my feet until it was gone.

Afterward I kept getting really, really hot to where I had to throw the covers off of me. Then, after a while, I would get cold and have to snuggle up. This kept me from falling asleep.

catMore Dreams

I somehow fell back to sleep only to continue dreaming about my family. In every dream my sister and her husband were having a disagreement. He was sulking or verbally lashing out and she was quiet and distant. My mom was always nearby either listening in or keeping her distance while staying nearby for support.

The most memorable dream of this sort was of us traveling together in a white Prius. I was driving and we stopped somewhere for a while. I went inside and they stayed in the car. I was late returning and they were all grumpy. My mother, who usually is set against what my cousin wants because of his behavior, was actually supporting my cousin. This upset me and I decided to leave them behind in the car. Ultimately, though, they just all pretended to sleep and I drove everyone home.

The symbolism in my dreams along with the subjects involved causes me to believe that there is an issue that is on-going that may be coming to a head soon. My mother and I spoke about the possibility of such an issue during my last visit so I would not be surprised if something is going on that I will soon hear about.

The monkey attack is curious as is the pain transference from dream to reality. I have never had pain come back with me from a dream. As for the monkey, according to http://www.dreammoods.com, to dream you are attacked by a monkey indicates a conflict between one’s playful and serious sides or that one is unable to keep their animalistic desires under control.

Cats have been common in my dreams for some time. I am still not 100% sure what the cat represents as it has so many meanings within a dream. Since I do not like cats much I assume it means I am avoiding my feminine side in some way but it could also mean misfortune. The black and white could be symbolic of yin and yang and this pattern is often associated with the cats I see in my dreams. It is interesting that the cat turns into the monkey as well. Perhaps my denial of my feminine side is going to get out of control?

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Conduit

This morning I was surprised to find myself in a lucid dream.

Tree House

In the dream I was roaming through the inside of a darkened home. I was upstairs and then traveled downstairs with ease. I knew I was flying and it was then that I first began to gain lucidity.

I then found myself remembering my entrance to the property. I saw in my mind a road that led to a home that look much like a work area for some business, not a home. There was lined up along the side of the house a storage area about five feet high by twenty feet long and inside was row upon row of steel gray, plastic garbage bins.

Around the side of this storage area was the entrance to the house. I remember talking to my companion saying, “I know there is a house here but where is it?” I then saw in my mind the layout and remembered. “Oh yeah, the master suit is upstairs and below that is a large living area connected the the kitchen”, I said to him. It was very clear in my mind and with the memory/thought I traveled instantly to the master bedroom. Throughout this for some reason I knew this tree house was what had become of my old house as the new owners had transformed it. Something about knowing where I was and why brought me fully lucid.

OBE #1

The minute I hit full lucidity the scene changed and I found myself in a room in the process of exiting my body. My exit was quick but my body felt somewhat cumbersome as I moved away. My vision was black and white and gray but that did not bother me. I was just happy to be out!

As I made my way to a nearby window, my body became lighter and easier to control. When I reached the window and looked out, my vision cleared and I could see the shiny appearance of the window and the white trim. I immediately wanted to go outside and made up my mind to do so. The minute I began to move through the window I heard, “No”. At that instant I returned to my body.

OBE #2

Without thinking, I exited my body and threw myself into the void that awaited me. I wanted to see but found I had no sight whatsoever. This did not bother me, though, and I decided to allow myself to just be in the blackness that surrounded me. I surrendered to the darkness and felt myself fall backward and it was as if the darkness came over me like a wave of water.

I then felt and sensed a hand and so eagerly reached out to it. Instead of grabbing back, though, the hand, which was attached to a very long arm, reached past my hand. It then shot through my center and through to the other side of me. This did not frighten me, though. I thought perhaps the arm would wrap me in a large bear hug and I welcomed it. Instead the arm pulled me back into my body.

Conduit

When I awoke back in my body, I allowed myself to stay in the in-between state for some time and recognized I was in that place just past when hynagogic imagery occurs. I knew if I wanted that I could allow myself to enter the hypnagogic state, but I did not want to.

As I lay there, the back and top of my head were alive with energy. It felt as if the energy were pouring into me and I just lay there and allowed it to flow into me. I then felt my root chakra light up and it felt as if the energy that was pouring into my head was coming out of my root.

I heard my guide say, “Conduit”. In my mind I saw an image of the energy pouring into me from above and then pouring out through my root to be pulled back up into my crown. I questioned my guide asking, “What exactly are you doing to me?” And he responded, “Making adjustments” and then showed me where as he told me. I saw the center of my brain and heard, “Amygdala” and then saw behind my eyes and heard, “Eyes” . I asked, “Anywhere else?” and he said, “Heart”.

I then wondered about my OBEs. Why was I allowed to go OOB when I was told to not expect it? I have been asking nightly to go OOB and kept hearing, “No”, which usually means I will not get to go OOB. And then, why was it that I was not allowed to continue out the window?

I was told that with the adjustments that were being made to my energy body that it would not be good for me to access my astral body, which is why I was prevented from going through the window. When I asked why it was not good I heard, “You will leave”. I did not/do not understand that answer but I accepted/accept it.

It is interesting to me that the energy flow that I saw in my mind was coming from above and circulating through my feet and then back up into my crown. Usually, when I see my energy moving it is in the opposite direction. I was then shown, told why this was happening.

What I was shown was the chakras in the human body acting like a large antenna which is used to remotely control the body, mind, emotions, etc. From what I was able to gather, this is what “conduit” means, as a conduit is “a means for transmitting or distributing”, but in this case what is being transmitted is thought/spirit/energy. I was then reminded of something I was told not long ago – “Your poles are shifting”. And so what I gather is that part of my changes (and maybe everyone who is going through ascension) is that the typical pattern of energy flow in my body is changing direction.

What does this mean?

From what I can make of it, it means more direct access to my Higher Self, more than I have ever had in this lifetime and previous lifetimes.

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Easing the Symptoms of Ascension – Part 4

The final way to diminish the symptoms of ascension is to live through the heart, not the mind.

Living through the Heart

Ultimately, ascension, when complete, results in the individual living from their heart. But, in the interim, one must practice living through the heart in order to avoid living through the mind. The more one follows their heart, or how a situation or decision feels, the less overwhelming their ascension symptoms. Living through the heart may seem simple, but for most it is not. It involves listening to your Higher Self, which is not always easy, especially when in the midst of life’s chaotic rhythm.

Meditation

One can become more in tune with their heart via meditation. A simple meditation focused upon the heart center is all that is needed. There are many guided healing meditations to be found on the internet that focus upon the heart center. I suggest doing one of these daily but if you cannot then at least once a week. It only takes a few minutes and can make a load of difference.

If you are unsure which heart mediation to do, I suggest the Opening the Heart Guided Meditation at Mediation Oasis. They have a podcast free to download and I have used this meditation many times. It is 27 minutes long, so make sure you have at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted alone time.

Intuition

Messages from the Higher Self simply put are intuition. They are the gut feelings that tell you to think twice about a decision or situation. They are the feelings of dread that hit you for no reason. They are the feelings of love that pour through you for no reason. In a nutshell, these messages are intuitive, they are feelings.

Whenever you are making a decision that is difficult and you don’t know what to do, listen to your heart. Focus on how making the decision makes you feel. For example, if you are struggling to decide whether you should stay at your current job or leave it you can focus on how each decision makes your feel when you think about it. If leaving your current job gives you the same feeling as staying then it likely means wait. If one gives you a sinking feeling then that one is likely the one you should not do.

Living through the heart is not by any means easy, but it does get easier with practice. I will not say that I am an expert at it but I am getting better. What is great about ascension is that when it is over, living through the heart will be second nature.

Final Thoughts

You now know the ways you can effectively diminish your uncomfortable ascension symptoms:

1. Ground properly and consistently.
2. Avoid contact with overly emotional, negative or otherwise unbalanced individuals.
3. Live through the heart, not the mind.
If you make these three things a habit in your daily life, then you may be able to come through the ascension process feeling a little worn and a bit ragged, but none the worse for your travels. If you find that you are struggling despite doing these three things then I suggest you increase the time you spend doing these three things. It could be that you need a little bit more grounding, a little less contact with unfamiliar people and a little more focus upon your heart. Whatever happens, don’t cut yourself off completely from your loved ones and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes even the strong get weak and need a helping hand.

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Earth, Fire, Air and Water

I can’t sleep and feel I need to write this so here I go.

The 12/12 “activation” or portal or whatever it is called is real. At least for me, anyway.

There are no words to really describe what is happening to me as I type this. I am still not sure even what is happening but I know it is good. I also know that what my guide told me is true: I cannot stop it.

Earth, Fire, Air and Water

In my dream I was speaking with others, several others, at least four. I don’t recall the conversation now, but I remember some parts of it. 1. I was voicing my concern about not knowing how to handle an energy exchange that was going on, at least it feels like we were discussing energy. 2. The energy exchange had to do with the elements. 3. Others were helping and the message was that I needed to communicate with the elements of this energy.

What I recall most vividly is talking to an “element” who was very obviously masculine, yet at the same time I did not feel particularly feminine. I could see the communication in my mind, typed out. When I responded it was also typed out. This went on for some time within a “void”. It was as if I were floating in this void but I do not recall feeling as if I were floating. The words elude me now, but I do remember reaching out to this masculine energy and speaking to him about the elements. I believe, though I don’t remember exactly, that I was trying to blend “water” with “fire” but then “earth” was also discussed so I am at a loss as to which element exactly I was portraying and which one the masculine presence was portraying.

When it was decided that I would go through with whatever I was doing (energy work?) I felt myself very much to be laying down with my back to this masculine energy. I felt him/it (the energy) gingerly reach out to me and wrap around me from behind. It was like a hug, but nothing like any hug I have ever known. What is very important here is that this energy was patient, understanding and deeply connected to me. He was approaching me tentatively and with such care that I felt completely and utterly open and trusting towards him. I surrendered to him and the energy intensified, filling me to my core and exploding out my midsection.

I awoke in this energy very rigid, my body feeling contorted and stiff as the energy seemed to skewer me at an angle. It entered from below my root and shot up through my center. It did not hurt but it was odd and I could not get a grasp on my feelings. In fact, I had such odd feelings that I do not know how to describe them except to say that they were muted and confused. I felt I should cry, but I had no tears and no welling up of emotion. I felt I should cry out in ecstasy, but there was no ecstasy to be felt. My mind was awake but I could not think. It was like I was frozen.

My guide was near and he seemed to be the source of this odd calm or frozen emotional feeling I was having. The gentleness with which he handled me is beyond words. I tried to understand what was going on, but all he would say was, “You are changing”. I understood this to be true but I didn’t know why, or how.

I focused on the energy because it was still very much alive within me. It felt to me to be writhing and moving around in a zigzag or winding pattern. It moved upward and I held my breath anticipating it hitting my heart chakra, but it never did. My guide said, “It is fear”, but I felt no fear. How can you have fear but not feel it??

I then became very uncomfortably aware that I needed to pee. I also felt my upper back arching and I could not relax it. My head began to throb dully and I could feel my higher chakras shooting energy upward, but like all of the energy, it was gentle and no emotion came of it. I literally felt like my body was a channel of energy and I was just its confused, observing participant.

I eventually got up and the energy continued. After I used the restroom and satiated my thirst I became horribly hungry. I tried to return to sleep but had to eat. So I went down to eat.

Knowing

I checked the time and it was 12:50am. I had been awake for some time and suspected the beginning of this event occurred right after midnight. On 12/12. 12/12/14. I guess the message was true. But what of the veil that was to lift? I didn’t/don’t understand the message’s significance. Yet.

I attempted to sleep but so many questions flooded my mind (along with the energy that even now is lingering). My guide asked me to answer them from within and I suddenly knew the answers and the calm in the knowingness with them is beyond words.

I knew/was told my path, my purpose on Earth, was soon to be revealed to me. I knew it involved helping others who were both here and those that were not yet here. It is hard to put into words what I knew./know but it is as if my job is to be a channel between worlds, a conduit allowing consciousness to flow unhindered in both directions. If I could draw a picture it would be of me, my body, floating as if laying sideways on my side, with energy coursing through me. The energy has no exit and no entrance, it just is. Like a lightening bolt, it shoots through my center and pours out of me in all directions. I am immobilized and my body is not mine, it is a tool I use to do my work.

I am aware of much above, behind and all around me. It is consciousness and it is ever expansive. I feel those who are that consciousness, waiting. They are all one now, but will not remain that way. They are waiting. They are waiting. They are waiting. It keeps repeating and it makes me want to burst out in tears that are filled with every emotion imaginable.

And I still hear my guide say, “You are afraid”, and I understand. I am afraid but it is of something I do not quite understand yet. It is immense and I feel the burden of it, but I cannot express the feeling. It sits in my core and the energy fills it and explodes outward.

I don’t think there are words for what is happening. If there were, I for sure would know them.

And I hear my guide, my most beloved, patient, caring, nurturing and loving Higher Self, say, “Yes. It will continue” when I wonder if I will ever fall back to sleep. I know I will, but I have to write this first.

I thought of calling a friend who is likely fast asleep, hundreds of miles away with her family all around her. I do not want to burden her with….what? I do not even know. I call out to her with my soul and I feel connections to others I know but have never met. Some on FB some I have yet to meet. Who are they? I know them but I do not remember them.

Kundalini

It is irrevocable what is happening to me. There is nothing I can do but I am not resistant. I know the energy is best termed “kundalini” and I am now a believer that the serpent resides within me and is coiling, twisting and pushing its way upward to the light above. I am the light and the serpent is reaching toward me. I can feel the energy from above pushing downward as much as I feel the energy below coursing upward. When they meet there will be union and I am almost there. If I could just get past my fear.

My guide tells me, “You are clear”, but I wonder if I am only clear in one chakra as I can feel the blockage in the dullness of the energy shooting out of my second and third chakras. Thankfully it is not painful and I am pleased at that, though I know if I push too hard, rush what is happening, that I could be in agony. Not just a physical agony but a mental one as well.

It is true that this must progress slowly. That the process must not be altered but allowed to go on unhindered. But then again I cannot stop it now can I?

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Easing the Symptoms of Ascension – Part 2

In part 1, we discussed the changes that occur with our energy as a result of ascension. To summarize, those who have begun the ascension process are moving from living from their solar plexus to living from their heart. The shift is not all at once. It takes place over time during which new energy channels are formed. All of this change eventually effects the individual and becomes noticeable as symptoms of ascension. These symptoms are often unpleasant and some are even outright scary.

Because of my own struggle with the symptoms of ascension, I asked my guide to help me better handle them. Is there something I could be doing to help ease these irritating, sometimes scary, symptoms? The answer was:

1. Ground properly and consistently.
2. Avoid contact with overly emotional, negative or otherwise unbalanced individuals.
3. Live through the heart, not the mind.

In part 2 I cover grounding, what it is, and the different methods of grounding.

Grounding

Grounding is defined as a practice that connects your energy with that of the Earth’s energy. Being grounded allows you to be present and connected with your physical Self and creates a bridge between your physical and spiritual Self. Grounding also allows you to expel unwanted or excess energy.

During the ascension process, energy in general is shifting, changing direction and expanding. This change causes blockages in the various chakras to become more pronounced as more energy builds up behind blockages. Grounding allows an individuals to dispel excess energy and smooth the flow of energy throughout so that the buildup of energy is reduced, thus reducing the symptoms of the buildup. If not grounded properly, the ascension symptoms one experiences are more pronounced. Additionally, if you are not grounded properly while also resisting or denying the ascension process you create blockages in the lower chakras which restrict energy flow, thus increasing the negative symptoms of ascension.

There are many ways to ground:

1. Meditation
2. Exercise (indoor or outdoor)
3. Crystals
4. Immersion in nature
5. Food

Meditation

A simple meditation where you focus on your own body and energy is enough to ground you. There are many meditation exercises available free on the internet that are specific to grounding. The simplest meditation exercise is to imagine you are growing roots from the bottom of your feet and allowing those roots to stretch deep into the Earth. While doing this, you visualize your branches reaching high into the air and spreading out. Click here for a good grounding meditation.

Exercise

Any physical exercise is grounding. You do not have to run a mile or life heavy weight. Simply taking a stroll outside in nature is enough. Physical movement not only increases circulation, strengthens your heart and lungs and is overall beneficial to your physical body, but it also increases the flow and strength of your auric energy in a similar fashion. Additionally, there is a mental release associated with physical exercises that allows one to function in “the moment”.

For me, physical exercise is moving meditation. I find that I need to stay physically active several days a week to maintain balance. For me, personally, the more rigorous the exercise, the better. As I have gotten older and the strenuous exercise takes more of a toll on my body, I have integrated yoga into my routine.

Crystals

If you like rocks and other minerals, you may find that handling crystals has a grounding effect on you. The best grounding crystals are black tourmaline, jasper, bloodstone, and green aventurine, though there are many crystals that will work. To use crystals to help you ground, simply hold one for a while or carry one in your pocket or purse.

When I had my first awakening, I found that holding crystals was very helpful, especially if I held any type of quartz crystal. I used it so often that I carried one around with me all day long and any time I felt “off” I would hold onto it and imagine its energy coursing through me. It calmed me down and helped me think more clearly. I love my rose quartz!

Immersion in Nature

Immersion in nature is another way to ground. You can immerse yourself in any of the four elements – earth, air, fire and water. The key to immersion is to surround yourself either physically or energetically by Earth’s energy. Some examples of immersion are: taking a hot, mineral bath; taking full, deep breaths of outside air; sitting next to a roaring fire; or walking around barefoot in the dirt and grass. I have known people to even cover themselves in mud in order to feel more grounded.

You can also use essential oils, which are of the Earth, to assist in your grounding. I was introduced to essential oils by a close friend of mine during my last pregnancy. I found myself attracted to certain oils right away and didn’t hesitate when the opportunity arose for me to become a consultant. Later, my friend sent me a book called Emotions & Essential Oils and a whole new method of healing and spiritual growth opened up to me. I began to use essential oils to help clear blockages and heal deep internal issues. I did this by listening to my Higher Self who steered toward the oils I needed. Currently, I have been using essential oils to ground and release fear. I have found Patchouli and Frankincense work best for these goals.

Food

Finally, and often times overlooked, is that you can become more or less grounded depending on the food you eat. When I asked for assistance in helping myself with ascension symptoms, grounding through food was the top area that came up. Over two years ago I was led to begin to eat “clean”. This means I cut nearly all sugar and refined foods out of my diet, increased my protein consumption, and ate more leafy green vegetables. The more pure the food, the more pure the energy the food provides your body with. My guide’s actual words were, “Be mindful of what you put into your body as it effects how your body processes and adapts to Kundalini”. The visual I got was that highly processes foods have defunct energy signatures filled with erratic and broken lines. The more pure and organic a food source, the more pure and unadulterated the energy it provides your body.

If you are interested in clean eating, check out Tosca Reno’s website. She has authored several books and cookbooks on clean eating, I own her Eat Clean Diet Cookbook and have read her Just the Rules book. For me, this diet has helped me immensely with my high anxiety and overall unsettled feeling. Cutting sugar has helped stabilize my mood and increasing my vegetables (I hardly ate any before!) gave me more energy and stamina. Finally, increasing protein and decreasing carbs not only helped ground me but it also decreased my body fat levels while making me feel full for longer periods. So, overall, changing your eating is a win-win all around!

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Contract

Yesterday, for our 7th anniversary, my husband and I decided to try indoor skydiving. I actually had the idea pop into my head about a week ago. It kept coming to me so I told my husband and he set it up. He was really excited about it. I was a bit nervous but I kept hearing my guide encourage me to do it so I went ahead.

When we got to the facility I was nervous and my palms got all cold and clammy. I hate it when that happens. All the others in our group were kids, too, which was weird. The instructor was a blonde woman from Australia and very likeable.  She immediately reassured me that I would do good saying women are the best flyers. By the time we were waiting our turn in the wind tunnel waiting area I was calm. I kept thinking, “I do this all the time in my dreams” and also decided that I would just do breathing and relaxation techniques while flying because the instructor said relaxing was the key to good flight.

When it was my turn I just jumped in and at first was unsteady but found it felt a lot like being in a deep pool of water. The air folded around me like a blanket. I felt so light! It so reminded me of times when I would fly through the sky in astral. If only the tunnel sides had projected blue skies with clouds, it would have been just the same feeling!

On the my second turn I did much better and was able to maintain flight on my own and even go higher. I noticed I kept holding my breath and had to remind myself to breath more than once. The master instructor asked me if I wanted a trip high up into the tunnel. I had watched him take flyers and spin them circularly all the way up and down two to three times. The speed of the wind was also increased and the flyers I saw doing it, including my husband, looked to be completely thrilled throughout it. So, I agreed to let him take me for a “spin”.

He barely touched me and I began to spin very fast and then I felt him grab hold of me and the circular spinning motion intensified. I went so fast I began to scream from the thrill of it. I could not see much as I spun, but it didn’t matter, it was so freeing and wonderful! I could have stayed in there for much longer than my 2 minutes.

My guide was right. This was a good experience for me and my husband. I have not had that much fun with him in a long time.

Dream: Daddy’s Missing

I went to bed last night and set an intention. I stated: “I want to work on healing my past (memory inserted of past life). I want to experience what I can of this OOB if possible”.

I fell asleep quickly. I had a dream about my father but I never once saw him in my dreams. Instead, I got news that my father was missing and had been missing for over a year. He had been overseas on an island country doing work. He had an apartment and everything but had just up and vanished one day. In the dream I recall that he had come to my high school graduation but I had not seen him since.

There was an investigation. I remember seeing the ocean and crossing it, going to an island. I drew in closer to the island and went to my father’s apartment. I looked around and through his things. His phone was there and I noticed it was out of service. I looked through his bed sheets and under the mattress. I found a book under the mattress and opened it up to find some slips of paper that he had written on. One was scribblings and the other had numbers as if he were doing accounting. I remember the numbers very vividly. It was amounts of money in the thousands with deductions in the hundreds. I concluded that he had lost money on a job but do not remember what I concluded about the rest of it.

His apartment rent had been paid for and had been for a year despite him being missing. Everything was where he had left it, untouched. I found this perplexing and walked around a bit, talking to the landlord who explained that my father had made sure that everything was paid for while he was gone. I went back to his phone and found it reactivated. This gave me hope.

mainpuraOBE: Contract

I awoke from this dream to sounds of two screaming children. My oldest son was crying for daddy and my baby was downstairs trying to get up. I went and got the baby and soothed him and put my toddler back to bed. It was 6:00am and so I went back to sleep.

Within minutes it seemed I was back in dreamland but this time I was lucid and becoming more so. I felt sluggish and heavy but separate from my physical body. I recognized I was in bed with my husband and we were talking about something. He said to me, “You forgot to sign” and put in front of me a paper with lots of typed words and a signature line that was highlighted.

I looked at it and knew it was a contract of some kind. I then saw my signature was already there and said to him, “I already signed, see?” I showed him my signature. Then I looked and saw that the other side of the opened “book” had an identical contract on it. This one was my husband’s. I said to him, “You are the one who hasn’t signed yet” and pointed to the highlighted signature line showing him it was blank.

I then felt my energy shift and then shift again. It felt like part of me was being pushed or nudged in one direction while another part of me was staying still. This was a bit unsettling but it caused me to gain more awareness and I wanted that. I could not see well but I could feel my body and the bed. I then willed for my husband to touch me. I wanted to feel it and so know what I was experiencing was real.

I soon felt a hand cover my own. For some reason my hand felt very small, like a child’s and the hand that covered mine also did. I closed my fingers around the hand tightly and felt a wonderful energy pouring into me. I let the energy flow up into my midsection and enjoyed it for a moment. Then I felt a hand touch my side. It was warm and larger than the child’s hand I had been clasping. I turned around and my astral vision came on suddenly. I saw next to me a man with golden skin. It was shimmering and sparkly, like he was more energy than form. He was not wearing any clothing so his entire body was this gold, shimmering energy. He was smiling and sitting very close to me. I expected to see my husband, since that is who I had been talking to about signing the contract. That is who I saw at first, and I was filled with happiness. But as I looked closer, trying to make out his features, his face shifted and blurred, looking to be several faces in one.

I did not care who it was that was with me, I just knew he was part of me and wonderful. I fell into his gold, shimmering arms and felt them wrap around me. When we embraced, the wonderful energy poured into me again. I kept waiting for it to shoot up through my heart and crown but it never did. Instead it settled in my mid-section and radiated outward. It was a different feeling than what I have felt come from my heart. I felt safe and loved and the feeling was warm and comforting. It said to me, “I am here. Everything is okay”.

As is normal for me when I come in direct contact with my guide, I began to gain awareness very quickly and all at once. I immediately lost the safe feeling as the energy shifted and I came quickly back into my physical body/awareness. I opened my eyes and was not upset that I was waking but I did feel spiritually tired and depleted, not wanting to return to physical reality.

Husband’s Dream

I asked my husband if he had any dreams about me and he stated that he did. He told me that in his dream I was his instructor and teaching him how to fly. I told him about my OBE and the contract he had yet to sign. I asked him if he thought maybe he was deciding if he wanted to learn from me since he had a dream about me being his instructor. He thought maybe he was. I find it interesting that he had his dream at the same time I had my OBE.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 5

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9:30pm

Time to wake: 6:00am; 7:30am

Meditation?: None

Physical Exercise?: Indoor skydiving

Mood: normal to low

Body: headache, lower back ache

Tiredness: Moderate

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: stomach

Supplements: Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Benadryl 25mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg

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Hide or Seek?

The energy is changing again. It is growing lighter and more positive. It almost feels like the cold air came through and blew away all the “hot air” which was full of anger, distrust, paranoia and all sorts of cluttered, chaotic thoughts. Perhaps this is just me that feels the change, but I suspect it is not. I even read an astrological forecast recently that suggests that coming new moon this Saturday is hastening in this new energy and that by the middle of December many of us will experience major breakthroughs in our ever challenging spiritual advancement.

Routine

I have been having quite a few spiritual breakthroughs of late. Most of these are occurring during sleep and so in the morning I feel much more balanced and at ease than the previous night. Last night I slept very deeply and do not even remember my dreams, yet I awoke in a positive mood and my first thoughts of the day focused on how blessed I am instead of how stuck. I could use to this kind of change! Yet I know all of this “comes and goes in waves” and eventually I must delve deeper which inevitably will bring me back to feeling knee deep in muck.

With the positive attitude I have been feeling a deep urge to alter my daily routine. This comes with a strong feeling of boredom and questioning of “what to do” with all this time I seem to have stumbled upon. Honestly, I do not have more time or less time than I did before but my perception of my free time has changed. Last night, after making dinner, cleaning up and preparing for the coming day, I noticed it was only 6pm and I had at least three more hours of evening before bed because two of my three children had fallen asleep. I had nothing on “my list” to do and so paced the kitchen for a while and stared at the clock. I eventually sat down to color one of my children’s coloring pages while my mind thought of absolutely nothing.

Later, after filling only about 20 minutes of my free time with coloring, I began to try to come up with things to do. My routine had not succeeded in filling this time as it has just come to my attention that I have it. I filled this free time in the past with school. Oddly, I longed for something to occupy my mind at that moment yet I knew more school was not the thing I desired this time. I could not, for the life of me, come up with anything suitable to fill my time! I eventually opted to spend the remaining time I had with my daughter since she was the only one of my three children awake. It was nice and I was able to settle but I continued to have this nagging feeling that I could be more productive. But doing what?

My routines have been my sanity for as long as I can remember, but what do I do when my routines no longer do the job? It is very apparent to me that I need something more. But what?

I am told that space has been created within me. This void has come about as a result of the purging I have been doing and will continue to increase as I succeeded in purging the old, useless aspects of my Self that I have been carrying with me. I no longer need the same routines to hide from myself because I am finally confronting that which I was hiding from. In the past I would seek out individuals who I could talk to for hours about spiritual and philosophical things, but even that is not appealing to me. Why? I use to love it!

Hide or Seek?

Routines can be good. They can keep life orderly. They help us get things done that need to be done. They get the bills paid on time. They feed us when we are hungry. They complete projects and goals. But routines can get old and stale. They can trap us in a box of familiarity. Some of us get addicted to our routines. We feel uncomfortable when they are are not followed.

If you are like me and find yourself on auto pilot, following life routines on a daily basis, you may be ready to change. Right now is the time to decide: do you want to hide or seek? Routine can keep us in hiding from ourselves and right now, those of us who are feeling the call of spiritual change will be feeling unfulfilled and empty. These feelings challenge us, but not all of us will accept the challenge. If you listen to your feelings with a desire to change them, you will find yourself questioning your routines. Will you seek out the answers or will you continue to hide in your comfort zone?

I ask you today to consider your own life routines. How do they help you? How do they hinder you? Do you find routine comforting? Or do you find yourself hating your routines because you are so controlled by them?