Tag Archives: energy

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Earth-Quaking Energy

There is a peculiar energy today. It could be just me but my children seem to also be affected as they are restless and demanding more than usual. I also slept much later than is my norm – as did they. I love sleeping in except that I am NOT a morning person and the more I sleep, the more grumpy I am upon waking (usually).

To describe the energy is difficult but I will say that it feels like the ground beneath me is literally shifting up and down and left and right; like an earthquake is quaking under all our feet. This, I am told, is the breaking up of 3D reality and me sensing the alignment of energies of or relating to the Shift into 4/5D. It is definitely unnerving and not a feeling that I want to remain.

There have been articles by Tom Kenyon coming to my attention all at once. It is like the universe is saying, “Hey you! Look at this.” When two articles in less than 12 hours by the same author are brought to my attention – and I bother to read them both in full – this is indeed a message. lol

The first article I read was Escalation of Chaotic Nodes and the Dismantling of 3D-Reality. This article came to me yesterday right after I had been contemplating the future of mankind and my ever-increasing interest in becoming part of or helping to create a sustainable community. I was also in the midst of facing the stark contrast between what I feel my life should be like and my current reality. There has been a strong desire in me to take action for some time but the time is still not right. This makes me impatient and restless, like I feel today. Why can’t 5D just get here already!? Tom calls this “time stressed” and this is the result of trying to control circumstances in the material world rather than letting go of attachment to a particular outcome.

The other article is called Destabilization. This article answered the question I had this morning upon waking about why I have these periods of seemingly no spiritual energetic shifts and/or experiences that leave me in an eerie silence that forces me to confront aspects of my current reality that I otherwise would not. All that has previously been hidden is being revealed. NOW. There is no hiding from it anymore. “The deepest catacombs of your subconscious are being turned over like a plow cutting through a field.” So the ground literally is shifting under our feet! For me, this destabilization is manifesting in me a feeling that something is wrong, when in reality nothing is wrong. All is well.

If you have not heard of Tom Kenyon, I highly recommend checking out the above links. He also provides sound meditations free on his website. I have not had time to do more than one, but the one I did do was nice and calming and I could feel a shift within as I listened to it. There is indeed some kind of magic in his meditations.

Quake Watch

I got behind on keeping up with Suspicious Observers videos and so got caught up as I ended this post. It just so happens that today’s video is entitled “Quake Watch”.

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Class Resumes: Preparing for Contact

It was an eventful night for me. Though I slept well and deeply, I had numerous dreams. When I woke, I knew that I had been in a very advanced class with only two other students. The course was a plethora of subjects combined into one, of which the most prominent was human evolution, species adaptation, social structure, psychology, and biological and genetic architecture.

The last thing I recall from the dream was being told by the instructor that our assignment was to write an 8 page paper that would be due in 8 days. I was frantically writing notes and missed the topic of the paper. I turned to another student and asked him, “Do you remember the topic of the paper? He asked a question but I can’t remember. He didn’t write it down and I need a visual or I forget.” The other student, just looked at me quizzically. This is when I woke up.

I was immediately aware of the Being who introduced himself to me recently and he was not alone. There were a total of 12 and they stood around me in a circle. My body felt heavy but the energy was normal and I was not afraid.

I asked his name and he gave me Ephesus, which I knew was not his name but a clue. Ephesians is a book in the Old Testament and Ephesus is a city from ancient times. Ephesians Chapter 4 was given as important. I have not read it yet but plan to.

We spoke of many things but since I was still in bed and mostly in the in-between, much of the specifics have been lost. The following is what I recall:

Appearance and Origin

  • Their appearance did not frighten me but I did retract from it. They have very, large, black, almond-shaped eyes, almost imperceptible nostrils that are flat against their face, and a very small mouth with no lips.
  • They have no ears and no hair. Their skin is a light gray, like ash, and porous. They explained it was similar to salamander skin and if touched it would feel clammy to us.
  • Most stand under 5 feet tall, about the height of my daughter who is 7 years old and about 50in tall. Some are taller than that, though, but never over 5 feet, 5 inches high.
  • Their eyes are like an albino’s eyes and very sensitive to the light here on Earth. So they wear shades (like contacts) over their eyes to protect them. This gives their eyes a black, shiny appearance. I asked, “Why don’t you just wear sunglasses?” I was immediately reminded they have no ears and no nose which are needed to hold glasses in place. lol I felt stupid for asking that question then.
  • They breathe through their skin, so they have no lungs. They do not breathe oxygen but can function in our atmosphere for short periods of time (less than 1 hour).
  • They do not normally wear clothing but will when on Earth but it would always be of a breathable material since they breathe through their skin.
  • I was shown four digits on their hands and their feet looked strange. There was a large digit and then one even larger one that curved toward the main one. It reminded me of a sideways hoof. They do not have fingernails or toenails.
  • I saw no genitalia.
  • They communicate via telepathy but can speak if needed.
  • They do not eat food. They consume “Light”. I asked how this was possible and was reminded of our plants and photosynthesis.
  • They showed me their planet. I saw a gray, barren and rocky landscape. In the distance was a tower that looked like something from a Sci-Fi movie or from the Jetson’s cartoon.
  • They explained that they do not receive information about their environment like we do. They perceive differently. It is all via what humans would call our sixth sense, but there are more senses than that. This was confusing to me but they showed me how they “see” us. They can perceive all of our subtle bodies as well as other dimensions. It looked like triple vision when I saw it. Like we all had three or more bodies that shifted and moved independently of each other.
  • Their vision is akin to night vision or of a creature that is exposed to very little light. I was shown that their nights are very long and they have little sunlight exposure. Their nights are not like ours, though. It is always dusk and a sun (they have 2) is always visible even at night. I was told night lasts 12 Earth days. I got a sense that their planet was much larger than ours and was not on a tilted axis.
  • They explained they do not have water like ours. I was shown a liquid, though.
  • I asked where their home was and I heard, “Sirius A“. They did add that They are in other locations as well and I recall hearing Nibiru.
  • Their species carries some reptilian DNA.

Craft

I recalled their space craft, which is more like a shuttle. It was cylindrical in shape, like a cigar, except the back end came to a point. I don’t recall seeing any wings or landing gear. I don’t think it needed them. The entry door was a small rectangle shape. We would have to duck down to enter. Inside was completely dark with tiny colored lights. I was told they have no need for lighting, which made sense considering how they “see”. The front of the craft was domed. I don’t know if it was glass or not. The size of the entire craft was no more than 40 feet long with a diameter of around 8-10 feet. Claustrophobic for us.

I discovered an image similar to the craft I saw in this article. It just so happens to be about Nibiru.

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Purpose

They are here assisting in the evolution of the human species. I did not get much information on this. I suppose that is what my “class” is about and I will receive more information on it later. What I will share is that I was shown a device that looked like a very large laser. At first, it reminded me of a weapon and I retracted from it and questioned their intentions. They reminded me to focus on my heart and though the heavy sensation was present, I felt the familiar heart bliss, but it was very muted. I began to feel extremely drawn to them, like a magnetic pull that was almost drug-like. It was faint, though. They told me this was done purposefully. I was glad of it. The last thing I want is to fall in love with an E.T. ! lol

It was then explained that this laser was one of many strategically located across this galaxy. These lasers emit electromagnetic pulses. There was another words they gave me, but I can’t recall it now, so electromagnetic is not accurate, maybe something more like frequency modulators. These pulses are directly affecting us here on Earth. This is the whole purpose of these pulses. They are accelerating our evolution.

They told me they were preparing me for Contact.  At this point I got a bit overwhelmed because I remembered 1989 when I saw the UFO above my house and realized I had been contacted by Them before. I recognized that if it happened once, it could and most likely would, happen again.

The entire time I was typing up this post, my hands were shaking and my heart had a heavy, pulling energy. I suspect I will be exposed to the heart bliss in future encounters. How They expect me to pay attention with that distraction is beyond me.

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Clovers and Ladybugs

The energy yesterday was fantabulous! Did you take advantage of it? I did. 🙂

There were moments when the vibration got so high, though, that I got that familiar anxiety/panic feeling in my chest. I hate that feeling. How did I handle it? I went to the gym and grounded the hell out of it. lol It worked, too. Bye-bye panic feeling hello happy feeling.

When I came home, my mother-in-law took my two oldest to a birthday party. This gave me time alone with my youngest. We both love our time alone. We spent it outside enjoying the lovely Spring weather and exploring the back yard. There was a cloudless sky and a slight breeze – a perfect day.

I decided to sit in the grass. When I looked up at the sky, the crescent moon was right overhead. For some reason this made me smile and gave me great joy. I felt as if the moon was put there just for me.

Then I noticed I was sitting next to a clump of clover (which is actually Wood Sorrel). I love clover! It brought back memories from my childhood. I use to look for four leaf clovers all the time. I would eat the clover, too. They are yummy!

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The symbolism was not lost to me, either. Each clover has three, perfect heart shaped leaves. Since I had just received the message 333 by my guides the previous day I smiled because here it was again in abundance all around me. Each perfectly formed heart reminding me that I am loved and worthy of love. Thank you universe!

Here are a few pics of my son in the clover. The last one is of him tasting it. He didn’t like it too much. It’s an acquired taste. lol

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Do you see his mullet? I couldn’t cut his curls so I kept it long. We get comments on it all the time. People love it. lol

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Tasting the clover.

There were also an abundance of ladybugs about. There would be three or more on one plant!

Ladybugs symbolize happiness, good fortune, child-like innocence, and complete transformation.

Ladybug spirit animal shows that the last, big step of your transformation will result in a quantum leap from one way of being to a brand new one. You will have a gap or quiet, inactive time when this shift is happening in you, but others will be able to see it taking place. Source.

I had not seen so many ladybugs in one place before so I took some pictures and showed them to my son. He was as fascinated as I was.

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All pictures were taken with a cell phone.

There were also aphids all over the place. I pulled up some weeds and my hands were covered in the little green guys. I didn’t take any pictures of them. They kinda creeped me out so I stopped investigating the bugs of our back yard after that. lol

I learned later that ladybugs eat aphids. I didn’t know that! No wonder there were so many hanging around.

After that we took a trip down to the creek. It is actually an overflow ditch but water runs there year-round and there is an entire ecosystem available to explore. The creek marks the border of our property. We don’t even own one acre but we have way more to explore than our previous 4 acres provided. Such a blessing!

 

As you can see, Spring has sprung in Texas. It has been greening up since mid-February. Last week it rained every day and the creek overflowed its banks. Our house is very close (you can see it in the pic), but we are not located in a flood plane/zone. The water has, however, come up uncomfortably close to the house.

It is another gorgeous day today and the first day of Spring Break, too. Wishing you all a joy-filled, beautiful day!

 

 

 

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Reset: Restoring Internal Balance

I’m still sick. 😦

This is my hypothesis on why I am sick. Kundalini. Yep. She’s the culprit. During the lucid dream I had on February 18th my body was hit with Kundalini of such intensity that it literally blew right through every one of my chakras. If there was a blockage it was obliterated. No blockage could have withstood her.

I definitely was unable to withstand her. My entire world has been different since that experience. Everything looked wrong in my life and every relationship, every like/dislike, seemed trivial and without purpose. Unfortunately, it still feels that way. I am really struggling to try and make sense of my life right now. Yeah, it was quite a shake to the core.

Apparently blowing through blockages like that is dangerous business. Thankfully I did not have many major blockages left (I don’t think) after all the “preparation” and “adjustments” I was given by my Team beforehand. Yet, there were obviously still some remaining, enough that clearing them that fast and furiously created this miserable, never-ending cold. On top of that, it fast-forwarded my monthly cycle by a full week which was a further depletion of my physical energy and resources.

I suspect the chakras most affected by the K energy surge I experienced, the ones most blocked and now unblocked, were my throat, heart, second and third chakras. I suspect this only because my current illness began in my chest and came with sore throat, stomach upset, diarrhea, cramping, and coughing. I’ve never experienced a chest cold with those lower body symptoms. Just weird.

My guidance is very quiet and very distant. There is one, lone guide around me and I do not recognize him. His energy is too distant for me to tune into but he did wrap me in wonderful energy last night and that was enough to know that whoever he is, his main objective is to help me through this tough patch. I feel like he is an angel and I don’t often use that word.

Early in the morning, after being awakened at 5:00am, I drifted back into the in-between. While there, I saw a long list. It was typed in black ink on white paper. I don’t remember all of what was listed, but I do recall that the words, “Spirit” and “Balance”. I woke immediately upon reading the word, “Balance” and was upset by it. This is because I thought it meant my external world was out of balance and I was being asked to return to the workplace. There came with this a knowing that it was not the external that needed balance, it was needed internally. Oh. Then I saw in my mind, “Reset”. Hmmm. There’s that word again. What does that mean? I got no explanation but I then saw, “6 weeks”. Ugh! 6 WEEKS!!?

Whatever this reset is I am not looking forward to it because I suspect it means that I will not be having many, if any, spiritual experiences over the next six weeks. I could be wrong, though. It could be the exact opposite I suppose. Who knows. Who cares, I guess. I’m just too sick and sick of being sick to care anyway.

 

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Wipe-Out

They say about the ascension energies, “Ride the wave”. Well, sometimes the wave is so gigantic you get overwhelmed by it and it takes your all just to stay afloat and keep the water out of your lungs. Sometimes there is no avoiding a wipe-out.

Yep, the BIG, super intense energies are here and, well, they aren’t finished. More is on the way. Intense and strong and in whopper pulses each time. Hang on. If you aren’t already feeling it you likely will in some way shape or form. Unless, like me, you have been sick this whole time. Then, maybe, you won’t have energy to notice much as you will be too busy blowing your nose and laying in bed. Of course, my illness is likely a direct result of my body adjusting to the energies anyway.

These in-coming energies are focused on the solar plexus and heart primarily, though the root and crown could also be affected, depending on the individual. This means all kinds of crazy things could manifest. Illness, depression, hysteria, headache, confusion, heart palpitations, anxiety, fear, restlessness, skin issues, digestive issues….the list goes on. The solution is to stay focused on your heart. Stay out of your mind. BUT if you get sucked into some of those low, scattered emotions, it is best to not be alarmed and allow them to pass. Try to keep to yourself and communicate to those around you that you need space and time to yourself. However, I recommend having someone close by if you are prone to depression, that way you can communicate that you need help if you get in too deep. Nature is always a good place to retreat to if you can, but if not, find a sunny place and sit/lay there for a while. I found watching movies occupies my mind and allows me to avoid over-thinking. Stick to positive ones, though, like What About Bob or a Chevy Chase movie. lol  Music also helps. Again, stay positive with the music even if you want to cry in your Cheerios.

You may also notice there are tiny lulls. This is just the space between the pulses. Like the trough of the wave, it will pass soon enough, so take the brief reprieve when you can get it. I noticed one of these yesterday morning. I woke up cheerful and felt almost normal. It didn’t even last the entire day. I am not sure when the next one will come but rest assured one will.

Personally, I have not felt too much of the energies. I do get all-over energy helmet (crown, third-eye, and sides of head) but honestly I think it is my guidance sending me healing as it has been happening at night after I request healing. There has been some heart chakra activity, but nothing major and always pathetically weak in comparison to what I have experienced before. I have, however, been experiencing some major emotional surges. These emotions are way low and negative. Hopeless, death-wish-type emotions and thoughts. I also have been very tired and sleeping deeply with few dreams. On top of that my guidance has gone almost completely silent, making me feel abandoned when I most need them.

Hang in there. The most intense energies will hit on and around the 9th and will then subside for a little while. The end of the month will bring more of the same but my guidance suggests the energies at the end of the month will be more gradual and beautiful; so less internal and external upheaval. That sounds nice and something to look forward to, I guess.

Remember, you are loved. 🙂

Edit: Just now saw that the K-Index was in the red yesterday and early this morning. Not surprised. NOAA website – check out the electron flux!

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Another Shift Approaching

Even in my sick state I feel it. So this suggests whatever is coming is going to BIG.

I was feeling good so decided to run some errands in town. While driving home I entered a dream-like state. And what is weird is I swear I saw energy patterns moving and swirling in the sky as I drove. Almost made me run into another car. lol

When I came home I wrote this down:

Sensing upcoming energy shift. Energy in-coming. Unsettled. Wavy. Energetic grid update underway. Realignment of Earth energy centers coincides with alignment of human energy centers. North and South poles and around the equator. Effects critical to hueman evolution. Shifting at the heart and solar plexus. Many will notice subtle effects at first. Heart palpitations, breathlessness, dizzy spells, panic, anxiety, fear. Maintaining a high vibration will reduce the negative effects and bring about moments of bliss, calm, peace and temporary amnesia to life considerations and/or problems.

Time frame? I am told there will be a steady climb in energy starting this weekend which will extend  into the end of next week. Wow. The especially big hitting, knock you down on your a$$ energy will be around the solar eclipse, but specifically I heard March 9th. The date was practically screamed at me.

My first thought was, “I’m still sick! Why are you telling me this now?” The answer was that I need to rest up because this next one is going to knock the last surge out of the ballpark. And based upon what I feel right now, I do not doubt it.

If we ride this one properly we can be in La-La Land the entire time. I prefer to be there, despite my mind not working, than sucked up into the depression and chaos that the 3D world will be sinking into.

Already I am sensing I am about to undergo more “adjustments”. Just when I was starting to feel more like myself….

Oh, real quick, I wanted to share the SuspiciousObservers YouTube Channel and their website. If you don’t follow them, you should check them out. 🙂 Here’s one of their recent videos.

 

 

 

 

 

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Solar Plexus Acquisition

More puzzle pieces are coming together.

During the night I witnessed something peculiar. From this observation I was able to deduce that many of my spiritual experiences and communications over the last year or so have been solely for the walk-in. I simply intercepted them or was allowed to perceive them/experience them as well. With that, I can clearly distinguish those communications meant for me and those meant for her. This alleviates much confusion on my part.

This morning’s observation was meant to show me what is occurring and though it felt as if it were me involved in the activities, it was in fact the walk-in.

What I observed was very strange and involved a sensation that is unlike anything I have felt thus far. I seem to always be saying that, too. It seems that there is no end to the “new” sensations!

I saw before me a vortex of spinning, brilliantly yellow energy. Above it and below it were smaller balls of energy that appeared white in color. This is when it got weird. It seemed as if another energy was dipping into and out of this yellow energy. Each time this other energy dipped into the yellow energy I got a very strange sensation. It felt like my entire nervous system lit up with a very slight electrical charge. I could feel it to my core. It was not unlike the feeling of a needle being inserted directly into a major nerve. It reminded me of when a dentist numbs an already partially numb area in the mouth with Novocaine. Ouch! Except this was not painful. It was also similar to holding a paperclip to an electrical outlet and feeling the slight surge of energy in your fingertips – but this was all over my body. Yeah, very uncomfortable.

I woke up feeling that groggy, drugged feeling I feel when I have been in a very deep slumber. My memories were foggy yet I was able to recall what exactly had been occurring while I slept. The yellow vortex was my solar plexus and the sensations I felt were a result of the soul exchange process. It was not fully revealed to me what this process was or why it was happening until I began to channel a post in my other blog.

You may have noticed that my other blog is very different already from this one. I cannot post to that blog as “me”. I try and then am shifted immediately into this other personality, one that is much different than I and which speaks very much like energies which I have channeled in the past. My third-eye and heart light up simultaneously and out comes the post. I am allowed to pause in the midst of the transmission. I do this sometimes to get my bearings and make grammatical changes. Otherwise, I am disconnected completely from what is written. I am often blown away by what I write because I am not consciously allowed to know until that point.

It is bizarre and a bit unsettling. Today, after posting to my other blog, I got very anxious and felt strange. My energy felt as if it was bouncing off my shoulders. I suspect this reaction was in part due to the “new” information being processed by my current personality. I was easily able to shift into a quiet space but the memory of the reaction is still very real and strange.

Oh this is so damn confusing! How am I even here and functioning at all I wonder?

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Life Review Panel

After several days of being in a strange calm and having this other aspect (walk-in) in primary control, I am finally being allowed to express to you all what is happening. It is not that I was being commanded to be quiet. This isn’t it at all. It is more like I needed to Be quiet in order to Allow, Reflect and Process.

Even now, though, it is hard to be in the forefront of my own mind. I begin to type and my mind freezes; blanks out. I feel I am not suppose to go too deep into my side of this journey; that there are certain limitations to be upheld. Even those last few words weren’t mine, yet they came from me. I can’t figure out how it is possible for such a thing to happen and just considering it causes me concern. Too much of my Christian upbringing interferes with my logic. It is like I panic and think, “I’ve been possessed!” Yet I know this is total nonsense.

You can see how completely insane this all sounds.

What I am allowed (I hate using that word) to communicate is what happened this morning. So that I will do.

Life Review Panel

When I woke up this morning I knew I had been in a discussion with my Panel, though the word panel was confusing to me. I had only ever heard Council so I knew this was something altogether different. I saw the Panel in front of me as I tried to get my bearings. It was just a flash of memory but then something about that flash brought on everything we had been discussing all at once.

Tears began to pour out of my eyes.

Memories followed. Memories mostly from my childhood. So many memories that I cannot remember them all in the order they were reviewed. It is like pictures of a photo album flipping page to page so fast I cannot keep track.

I grabbed hold of a belief/decision I came to long ago. The decision/belief was, “Nothing good ever lasts”. There were other similar ones like,”I must reject others before they reject me,” and “When I’m happy I get hurt.”

Memories (in no particular order)

I remembered when I was very young, maybe 4 or 5. My mom was laying in her bed and opened her arms up to me inviting me to snuggle. I hesitated. In my mind I remembered receiving both love and hate from her. The feeling she sent me was never consistent and the hate/anger she sent was so unbearable and in direct opposition to the feeling of love. It hurt. I decided then and there never to accept love from her again. I told her, “No” and when she reached out lovingly and hugged me close, I pushed her away.

Then came all the memories from the divorce. Oh I hate those memories! Mom telling me bad things about my dad. Dad telling me bad things about my mom. Mom probing me for answers after I would visit my dad. Me in tears every time I had to go on weekend visits with my Dad. Dad breaking into our house and stealing from us, from me. Dad telling me he would not take me home.  I was so terrified I would never get home that I memorized the 1 hour trip to my Dad’s and was able to show my mom how to get there when she couldn’t find him. Only a traumatized child could do something like that.

I remember crazy energy and emotions bombarding me all the time. No one ever told me what was going on. No one helped me understand. That is when I started begging God to let me die. I thought over and over, “I wish I were dead.” These thoughts have never really gone away completely, either.

As any child under similar circumstances would do, I began to act out. I got more spankings than I can count and was so defiant I  would laugh at my mom when she spanked me despite the pain. I didn’t want her to win.

I remember my mom being so fed up with me that she started threatening to take me to an orphanage. She even showed me a flyer about a boarding school for girls. In one instance, on a road trip to Houston, she stopped on the side of the road and made me get out of the car telling me she would call the orphanage to come get me. Talk about traumatizing! I really thought she was going to leave me there.

It’s not like I was a good little girl, though. I was awful, really. I did awful things. I thought awful things. I use to purposefully do things to get my little sister in trouble. I carved her initials everywhere and cut up my clothes so she couldn’t get them as hand-me-downs. And the thoughts I had back then, no little girl of 7-8 should ever have such thoughts. I was truly disturbed and defiant.

Though I was a straight A student, I went to the principal’s office every single year until I was a freshman in high school. Usually it was because I would tell off a teacher or refuse to do what they asked me to do. When I was 7 I was so horrible one day that I got “the paddle”. This was back when corporal punishment was still allowed. My mom witnessed it. It was humiliating. You know what got me there? I chased down a boy on the playground and kissed him. LOL

Then there were the memories of how I never had friends and the friends I did have  I mistreated. There was the friend who I beat up in the bathroom when I was 4 despite the fact that she was almost a foot taller than me. Then there was the friend who I was mean to all the time when I was 8. I made her cry over and over and never felt bad about it. I thought it was fun (WTF, right?). This all reversed flow on me later on, though.

And I don’t even remember everything from that time in my life. I believe I disconnected from everyone and everything in order to protect myself from all the pain. Everything in my life was destroyed. It is no wonder I decided that happiness = hurt, and decided that anything and everyone I loved would end up hurting or rejecting me. My solution was push everyone away. Reject them first. And when I did allow love into my life, I always knew it would not last, that it would be taken away from me and it would be my fault because I am no good, worthless and deserve it.

Yeah, disturbing.

If you have made it this far, thank you. I am sorry for all the negative history regurgitation.

Questions

After all this memory influx, I was asked, “What do you feel is your greatest life accomplishment?” Without hesitation I answered, “My children”.

Then I was asked, “What do you feel is your greatest life regret?”

This one took me a while but I eventually answered, “I didn’t live. I was too afraid to live.”

Ultimately, then, my greatest regret is succumbing to fear.

They then asked me, “What lessons do you still have to learn?”

And I knew the answer instantly. “I still need to learn how to be alone.” Yay! I am guessing my next life will be fun. 😦

 

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Relentless Kundalini

Yesterday was quite a doozy, wasn’t it? I am still recovering.

I spent most of the day handling some intense physical and emotional responses to the Kundalini energy that was triggered by the Unity experience I wrote about. At least I am assuming it was Kundalini energy.

My heart chakra was extremely open all day and I was exploding with energy. It was like I was a fireworks display. I only wish I could have seen what I looked like. I am sure it was spectacular. The energy was moving through me with such ferocity that at times my poor body was struggling. I could feel my lower chakras clearing. This clearing resulted in some crazy physical symptoms. I thought at one point I was getting the stomach flu again. I also felt surges of ecstasy that would disable me completely. I mean I could not think, I could not move, I could not function at all except to just allow it. I have never experienced such intense desire. It knocked me down more than once during the day. Thankfully I was not around a man – any man. LOL

Then there was the total loss of appetite. I had to force-feed myself food because knew if I didn’t eat I would just be more out of it. Thirst was also a problem. Constantly thirsty. I was also extremely dizzy. When I stood up I would almost black out. This was likely caused by low blood sugar from not eating enough, but since it happened even after I ate, I suspect the Kundalini was also the culprit.

There was also an emotion akin to excitement and nervousness that never really went away. This was the primary feeling coming through my heart space (except when the desire kicked in). This nervous anticipation feeling is likely why I couldn’t eat. It reminded me of how I use to feel when I started a new relationship with someone I was really, really into. It was that “first date” feeling. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I pace about and my mind is continually thinking about this person.

Since I had not slept much, I was exhausted all day, too. I began to really feel tired around 6pm but since I care for all three of my kids in the evenings (husband is gone all day and into the night) I could not stop to rest. And they were just as wired up as me. I suspect I did that to them because they were very reactive to my mood. My middle son was the worst. He was like a walking contradiction on top of being in constant mania mode. My youngest was so wired that when I tried to get him to sleep he kept jumping and babbling for an hour past his bedtime.

So, yeah, I was really tired by the time I went to bed.

Then I couldn’t sleep! 😦

There was just too much energy coursing through me. I swear I short circuited my phone more than once and my computer was like an amplifier to my energy at times. So by the time I tried to sleep my entire body was buzzing like I was about to go OOB and my mind was racing. I couldn’t shut it down and it just added to my exhaustion.

I somehow fell asleep around 1am. Unfortunately, I woke up at 5am to my body doing things it isn’t suppose to do without my permission (not going to get anymore personal than that, sorry!). LOL

I had dreams but the memory behind the dreams is what is significant. I recall laying on a table and being “worked” on. There were tall, yellow, cylinders placed on my mid-section. I think there were four or five. I knew that the energy was being rerouted by these cylinders. Unfortunately (or fortunately) they must have rerouted the energy to my root chakra, thus waking me up.

I was told upon waking that this was not the end of the crazy, intense energy. This is how I will become “clear” as They have told me. I guess if you get enough energy coursing through you it will just blast away the blockages. I am really grateful for the preparation work that was done now.

 

by

Time to Elaborate a Bit

I am still processing everything that happened this morning but I wanted to share with you more of the details. I also need to write this down as I am still experiencing the effects of it. My heart chakra has been blasting away all day. The main energy is an anticipation or nervousness. At least it is not pure out panic. My third eye is also blazing away. I still feel like I am radiating energy – projecting it almost.

This morning when I awoke overwhelmed by what had just happened, I had not fully awakened despite sitting up in bed and crying. I kept going into the in-between. While there I heard a quiet voice telling me I was beautiful and the heart energy would fire up and I would get too aware again. I also had visions of seeing myself in a coffin. I saw several coffin visions, actually. This is also when I heard the voice tell me, “You’re ALIVE.” It was said in such a way as to interrupt my freaking out. There was emphasis on the word “alive”. It was said, “Ah-live”. lol At the time I didn’t think anything of it. I was too caught up in my mind, but now I realize a part of me was just born.

My mind was in overdrive. I couldn’t control it and I wanted to get up and write an email but I kept hesitating. I am glad I didn’t now as the energy of the computer would have likely thrown me off even more. But the desire to write was very strong. I knew so much all at once. It was like an inflow of huge amounts of information – information about my past, present and future. I don’t recall it all now, but it was part of the reason I was freaking out. I went down stairs and paced and paced for I don’t know how long. Too much energy. Too many thoughts.

I knew I had caused this to happen. I asked for it to happen a couple of nights ago. I actually asked for an OBE but was denied it. I had thought my requests had fallen on deaf ears. I guess not. Really happy about that now.

So this is what I experienced in that Union.

Intense love beyond anything I have ever experienced. It ignited every single chakra and I felt all the emotions connected to those chakras. It was like I lit up like a flare and sparks of energy went flying out my crown and my root at the same time. My mid-section was the most intense with a very, very pleasant yet explosive energy. Not sexual at all, believe-it-or-not. It was more like complete opening of Self. Raw, vulnerable and eager all at the same time.

In the few moments that I was caught up in this bliss I felt connected to everyone, everything; to Source. It was not just a connection to my “partner” but to everything and everyone that ever existed. It was like merging with him opened my eyes to something I had long forgotten existed. In that I realized I AM love. I AM all of it. I do not lack for anything.

When I awoke and the energy was still running through me, my vision was filled with flashes of the faces of people I had known in this life. Mom, Dad, sisters, brother, in-laws, husbands, children, friends, acquaintances, bosses….the list goes on. With each flash of a face I knew I loved them. All of them. Without a doubt. All I had was love for them. And I felt a connection to them as well. They are me.

The fear reaction I had to all of this was Ego. When I was able to get out of my mind and stay in my heart, there was only calm and a perfect happiness. There is a fullness and confidence in my heart that wasn’t there before; a knowing that everything is working out as it should.

I won’t deny that I am asking for it to happen again. Maybe this time I won’t wake up and cut it short. But then, the intensity of the experience is such that I don’t know what would have happened had I stayed. I am thanking my Team wholeheartedly this morning. They never fail to produce.

Oh and there was a song in my head as well. I almost forgot about it. Coldplay’s The Scientist (again). The only parts I kept hearing were:

I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions, Oh let’s go back to the start.

Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.