As I was organizing my Rave ABC class notes, I found my foundation reading notes, so I read through them again. It’s always good to go back and review what I am drawn to because there is usually something I missed.

I missed this nugget: “Channel [1-8] gets usurped by relationships”.

The analyst who gave me my reading indicated that any relationship I’m in will have this effect upon me because the Other wants to “hold onto me” and they will “expect me to be the representative of the group”. This response to me is because there is “a frequency of Love and Light that emanates from me [when they’re] in my frequency”. This frequency is written into my first line earth, “Venus exalted as beauty, Love is Light, the grounding of my body”. My notes also have: “Genius design Sun-Earth: the natural, receptive genius”.

Specifically, the Channel 1-8 “draws a certain kind of attention”, those with this channel “feel we deserve [the attention]”, we are “captivating, interesting, different.” Those with this throat activation have “a compelling, undeniable, demanding voice, here to speak its truth.”

Since both myself and my husband have this channel, I can see where my bitterness comes from. I have often observed of him “attention-seeking” behavior. He seems to always want attention and will seek it however he can get it, positive or negative. Of course, he seeks attention from me the most, but in my bitterness (not being invited to share my unique voice), I withhold it from him. I, too, feel I deserve attention and over many years of not being truly seen (by him and everyone else), I’ve become extremely bitter. To be married to a MG with this channel has been tough because I observe him sharing uninvited all the time without the kind of backlash I get when I do the same. I always thought of this as the curse of being a Leo (my husband has a Leo moon), a hard lesson I have to learn. Now I understand that it is more about patience and waiting for the right invitation.

So I wonder to myself, “What do I do with this information?”

I am immediately reminded of something else I was told in the reading. At one point in my reading a discussion of my 6th line in mid-life came up. The analyst told me I’m “ringing myself out”. My notes say: “You know it’s over and everything will change but it takes time for the energy to align.” It’s this last statement that came to me after my above question to myself.

It takes time for the energy to align.

I am also reminded of my Life Cycle charts which show the three stages of my 6th line life experience. I have not yet entered into my Chiron Return state, the last stage where I become the Role Model. I am close, but not quite there yet. In the second stage of life my personal sun is in Gate 2, line 3, “patience”. When I research this I find that this Gate and line indicate that I have to listen to my HS (Authority) and bide my time before heading in a new direction. I cannot change my direction without its agreement, though my mind will try. If I follow what my mind says it will be no good and create delays, so my compass is the Magnetic Monopole of the G Center and only when it says “Go” do I take action. In the meantime, I provide vision and direction to others, providing them with a plan forward but I don’t do the work or make it happen. 

I am very acutely aware of this “patience” aspect in this cycle of my life. I feel like I get all kinds of ideas and motivations to change my life but cannot. I feel stuck in place. The answer I continue to get from my HS is, “It’s not time”. It is very frustrating but I have learned how intensely strong my inner compass is. I cannot act against it. There is a feeling within that just doesn’t allow me to act against it. 

The Definitive Book of Human Design says, I “look to Gate 14 for allies, for the power and resources to bring [my] vision to fruition.” pg. 177 My own husband does not have this gate so I am left hanging, waiting for it to come along in the right way. This is sacral energy, so either it will come from a Generator who has this entire channel or just the gate, or it will be another energy type that has a hanging Gate 14.

Overall, in my review of my gates I noticed that I have lots of hanging gates in the sacral and root area. This is promising because when connected with the right person things can really move forward. 

The analyst who did my reading pointed out that I am waiting for a very specific energy, something that “tastes” just right. She reminded me that only very specific individuals will find me “irresistible” while most will either not see me, be unaffected or reject me. If it is all about design, then whoever it is will fit perfectly with me design-wise, connecting the dots and manifesting channels (life force) that otherwise are not present for either of us.

But it all must come at the right time and not a moment before or after. Like a lightning strike.  

In the meantime, I guess I perfect my ability to wait, learning to be patient until I am recognized and invited. I am recognized by the Other when I am doing those things which bring me joy. So, while I wait, I need to focus on what brings me joy. This is, of course, a repeat of what I’ve been told many times by my guidance: “Enjoy this time”.

References:

Bunnell, Lynda and Ra Uru Hu. (2011). The definitive book of human design. Carlsbad, CA. HDC Publishing.