Tag Archives: Messages

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Tossing Pebbles – October, 2013

white-stones--pebbles_19-131295I never know when I will get a “visit” from one of my guides. It is always nice to have one, but they don’t seem to come when I want them to. Instead, they “pop” in for a visit and then I never know when they will come by next.

When I say visit, I don’t mean via dreams. I pretty much expect my guides to visit my dreams. There really aren’t too many dreams in which I can’t identify one or more of my guides. If the dreams are lucid or turn astral then it is always wonderful to be conscious of their presence. Unfortunately, when I am busy like I have been, consciousness in dreams or astral travel are few and far between, although I do think I am more lucid in my dreams than most people.

The kind of visit I am referring to in this blog is when one or more of my guides is closer energy-wise than normal and make their presence known. This is done when I am fully conscious, not in the dream state or astral. Typically my guides are back from me. It is hard to explain but it is like they are near by but not close enough to grab my attention throughout the day. They stay back at the edge of my consciousness. When they want me to see/hear them, they move closer. It is like they hide in the shadows of my mind and then, suddenly, they come into the light where I can see them.

This morning one of my guides decided to come into the “light” from his usually peripheral position. I do not know his name (couldn’t understand it) but he is the newest of my team of guides. He came not long ago and has been lingering in the background for some time. When he came closer I saw a visual in my mind of an unimposing man sitting on a large boulder near a stream. His energy was very comforting and inviting and I felt at ease when I first saw him. I was not really surprised, which in itself caught me off guard. As he was talking to me, I saw him tossing pebbles at a stream. When I would focus more on him, his attention seemed to be on the stream and not on me, though I knew this was what he wanted me to see and not necessarily true. Though I could see him sitting there on the rock tossing pebbles, I could not see his face clearly. Again, he seemed to want me to focus on his actions more than on his features. I do recall that he was wearing a long, nondescript robe or cloak.

Quiet Conversation and Future Predictions

He began talking to me like an old friend would; as if he had always been there and had known me for a long time. He asked questions and conversed with me this way for some time this morning. I lay in my bed wide awake, but calm, listening and answering his questions and asking questions of my own. It has been so long since I have had a conversation like this with one of my guides. It was nice, but I was cautious. He sensed this and asked me why. I told him because the last time I got use to talking with a guide it led me to almost losing touch with reality. He was amused by this and simply stated, “You have changed”.

Strangely, the entire subject of our conversation centered upon change. Not just my change, but the Earth’s changes. He did not instruct me to share what he told me with others, but I feel it is appropriate because the information is not just for me and it seems selfish to not share it.

One of the first things he said to me was “The poles are shifting”. I understood this to mean the Earth’s poles and he confirmed this to be correct. However, he also said my poles were shifting. I didn’t understand and so questioned him as to what this means. I am aware of the chakras and the energy-systems of the human body and inquired if this is what he meant. He said, “Yes, but it goes deeper than that”. I still did not understand. He said that it meant a change to “the human mind and the heart of man” as if the two, humans and man, were different. This intrigued me but I still didn’t understand what he meant. Poles? Do we have poles? And if we do, where? And what does it mean that they are shifting?? As if to answer my thoughts he continued on about the future of Earth. He told me that the government of the United States would go through some major changes in 10 years, around the year 2022-2023. I immediately thought, “Ah, hind sight is 20-20” and giggled. I am not sure why I laughed but I felt so relaxed with him, like I was in a different state than is my norm. He caught me as I wondered why I was so different, so at ease and feeling good. He asked, “Why are you feeling good?” and I searched for an answer but could not find one. “I don’t know”, I replied. I just felt, good. In reflecting on this now, I am wondering if the way I felt during this conversation is connected with this shift he was mentioning?

He went on to tell me that when I was gone and my children were grown that the Earth would be far less populated then than it is now. I recalled a long time ago hearing about a massive outbreak of a virus that would decimate 100’s of thousands of people in the United States. He nodded in confirmation at my thought but would not say that this was the crisis he was speaking of. I thought on this news and wondered out loud, “Why are you telling me this?” He replied, “Because you need to know”. Then he paused and said, “There are others like you. You are not alone”. This distracted me for a moment. What is he talking about? He did not elaborate, but just left that there for me to chew on. I immediately decided to not accept what he said as I did not want to get caught in the “You are special” trap. I finally replied to him, “I am not special” and he chuckled and replied, “It all comes down to you”. This was a message he gave me not long ago and I considered it again, still not sure what it meant. I left it, as I did not want to fall into an endless circle of questions and odd, unusual and cryptic answers.

I got back to the topic of loss of population on Earth. I asked why, of course, this would happen. He said, “Everything is up to chance”. I disagreed. He sent me a questioning feeling and I said, “Don’t we plan it all this way?” and he said, “Yes, but we can’t know everything. That would defeat the purpose”. But then I suddenly knew we could predict the future very well and he said, “Yes, but it is only a prediction”. I questioned this, seeking more information. He said, “It is all very predictable, but it isn’t. There is chance and their is choice. They are different things”. I suddenly knew he was referring to the Earth and the cycles it goes through. This is what cannot be definitely predicted? He answered my thought, “Oh it is very predictable”. Confused again he went back to my original question about why the population would be decimated. He again said, “It all comes down to you”. I decided that what he had told me meant that although we plan our lives to go a certain way, there is the element of chance involved and we know this when we make our plan. Chance is what keeps us challenged and tests who we are. Without it, what would be the challenge of this game? My disgust at the term “game” brought a comment from him: “Yes, it is a game”. I responded, “Can I just sit it out and watch?” “Yes”. Then I wondered, why do I keep coming back? He was quiet as he knew I already knew the answer. I wanted to know for sure that I would react the way I thought I would. I wanted to test who I was. Each life gave me more certainty and thus each life had more certainty. Interesting.

Again I went back to wondering why there would be so much change during my children’s lives. He reassured me that I would not be alive when the population decrease occurred. I asked how much it would decrease. At first I hear 1 million. This felt off to me and so I asked for a percent of the population that would be gone. He said, “4%”. For the U.S. alone this is over 12.5 million people gone!

I was silent after this, not sure I wanted to know more. He did not respond, just kept tossing pebbles at the stream in my mind. I noted this and said, “You are tossing a pebble”. He said, “Yes”.

12.5 million people is a lot of people and this is just the U.S. For the world, a loss of 4% of the population is over 287 million. That is almost the entire population of the U.S. today. I wonder how many people it will be in the future considering that the number of people will just continue to increase from now until this predicted event will occur?

Strangely, despite the shock of this information, I remembered the dream I had prior to finding out I was pregnant. In it was this old man who was telling me about the future of my grandchildren. The picture he painted was very different from today. The world was peaceful and much more environmentally aware. Transportation was very changed. Though I was not told what it would be like, it felt like the burning of fossil fuels for power would be stopped. The feeling of this future was peaceful and happy. Before that period, however, there was “much conflict”. Would my children be harmed? Why would they want this for themselves? I was a bit horrified, my maternal instinct kicking in. He reminded me quietly, “It is their choice”. True. It is not my plan, but theirs.

Throughout this discussion I was being interrupted by my life. My son was crying, my husband was in and out of bed and all along I was in this state that, though a faded memory, was very familiar. When in this state it is like I am in “tuned in”. Like my ego is asleep and the real me is completely in control. It is a feeling of certainty and control. I like it.

Eventually I got up and went about my day. As I got out of bed, I still saw my guide sitting on a boulder, tossing pebbles. In my mind I think about its significance. Are we all but pebbles being tossed into the stream of life? Or do the pebbles signify something else? Choices? Chance?

The dream symbolism of tossing pebbles is that they represent feelings of being hurt by things that seem insignificant. Pebbles in themselves represent minor difficulties and annoyances in life. So perhaps what my guide was trying to show me was in fact all about change and chance.

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If You Leave

 

I awoke hearing this song this morning. It completely threw me because it did not go along with the dream I was having. The main lyrics I was hearing was the part at the end where it continues to say “If you leave” over and over. I could hear the “Oh, oh-oh” as well. I assume the message was from Spirit telling me they would like me to stay in this life a little longer.

Purpose

It is funny how every time I start wondering what I am doing here on Earth this life, I get an answer. Lately, the answers are much easier to recognize. Instead of just hints or intuitive hunches, I actually get messages in words or pictures. I have even recently received intense urges or impulses. To receive such a strong message along with an urge has only happened one other time in my life, so it is a very rare thing indeed (for me). It makes the messages very difficult to ignore and even the stubbornest person (that would be me) cannot talk their way out of it.

Yesterday the full impact of the visual message I received hit me. The title of the book I saw would not leave me – The Nurturing of Innocence. That is powerful! I could not stop saying it over and over in my mind, as if I was tasting what it would be like. I also had ideas hit me. I won’t go into detail about it but I will say that those ideas have come to me before.

I was unsure about my eldest and what I would do with her until we had a talk. I decided to not mess with a good thing. She likes school right now. She is excited about learning. To pull her out of a scene she likes, when she is doing so well, would not be ideal. So I told her that the minute she stops feeling excited about learning, to tell me. She agreed.

Stolen

I had more vivid dreams last night. The first one had me feeling nervous. My family and I were going on a trip together. As we were leaving, I discovered that I had lost my debit card. I later found that all my credit cards were also gone. I spent most of the dream trying to figure out what had happened, retracing my steps to see when someone could have taken them. It came down when I had left my things in a hotel.

The hotel had been temporary. My husband had just gone into a room and stored our stuff without paying for it. I remembered leaving my purse on the bed when we went to eat. The cards had disappeared after that and I blamed my husband for not doing the right thing and paying for the hotel. I was also concerned about identity theft.

In one particular scene of the dream I sat waiting to leave with my “family”. We sat outside, no home or place to call our own, and I felt I had nothing left. No money, no home, no possessions. The trip seemed not exciting anymore. I felt very disappointed and like a failure.

fairy_by_brandrificus-d5b03o7Store

We ended up leaving and stopped by a store. I had suggested we get some food. We went inside and I had two children following me – a boy and girl – though they were not my children. I could not find what I wanted but the kids found some pets they wanted, tiny bug-like creatures. I went up to one and looked at it closely. It turned into a beautiful fairy-like woman right before my eyes. We spoke, though I don’t remember what we said now. She smelled sweet and was rose colored. I put out my hand, asking her to shrink back into the tiny winged creature she had been, but she never did.

The boy had taken a cage with him and tried to get me to buy it. I told him no and he set it down. I saw what looked like a shell with something inside it but I still do not know what kind of “bug” it was. It did have a magical feel to it, though.

Betrayal

The dream changed and I found myself in a long, white hallway. It felt as if I were in a hospital but it also had a spaceship feel to it. I saw a little girl who was dragging her foot. She was very pretty and friendly and we spoke. She said she was looking for her mommy. There was again a very, pretty rose color about her, similar to the fairy I saw before.

After a little while the little girl said she had to go, her mommy was coming. A very professional looking woman came down the hall and a strange blue light, like a beam, hit her and the girl was sucked into it. Her and her mother became one and moved away. I noticed they were not alone and that they seemed oblivious to my presence.

Suddenly they began putting on masks. I knew they had been conditioned to withstand some kind of deadly chemical and masks were part of this. I watched as one took a breath with the mask, confident he would live. Unfortunately he began to gag and suffocate right before my eyes. I heard a woman say, “What a waste of money that was” and knew they had spent much time and money engineering these people to survive this poisonous gas.

That is when I awoke to the song, “If You Leave”.

wind_fairy1Interpretation

It don’t know exactly what these dreams mean, but if I put them together with the song they seem to indicate that I was having in-depth conversations with my guides about the prospect of me leaving this life earlier than anticipated. I feel I was being shown what failure would feel like in the first dream. Losing my identity was a big part of that dream, which is very much like losing hope and/or focus in life.

In the second dream I feel like I was being shown that there is still hope and that I will be helped. I was looking for food and, though I couldn’t find what I wanted, I was drawn to a mystical creature that filled me with fascination and curiosity.

In the last dream I feel we were discussing my concerns about the futility of life, how so much work seems to be needed for something destined to be a failure. There was an element of our oneness there, though, in that of the little girl who was forever connected to her mother.

Gecko

I have been seeing geckos in my house. In total there have been five. Gecko’s message is to pay attention to your dreams and listen to your intuition. Being my dreams have been so vivid, I figure they must be trying to tell me something. I am paying attention but I can’t help but feel there is a part of me making a decision that I have little control over. There is a feeling of dread attached to it, but it is very slight. I can only leave it to the divine as it must be something I am not yet meant to know.

 

 

 

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The Nurturing of Innocence

My husband is out of town so my sleep was interrupted more than usual since I didn’t have any help with our baby. It seemed to makes no difference, however, to my dreams. I had a couple very vivid and detailed dreams last night.

vampire babyVampire War

This dream was very intricate. I could write an entire novel from the details of just this one dream! In summary, however, the dream entailed the events leading to and culminating in a war between vampires and humans.

I don’t know which side I was on but I think I was on the human side, at least at first. The beginning of the dream included the revelation to me, my family and other humans, that vampires lived among us and they were tired of being hidden. The vampires came after children first. Not only did they kill them but they also created tiny vampires out of them. In one vivid scene, a vampire baby was birthed by a vampire mother. This was a shock in itself because vampires cannot have children! Yet, in the dream, I witnessed the birth of a baby vampire and then the other vampires forced me to allow the baby vampire to feed on my middle son.

After this horrific scene, the dream continued with me and other humans running and hiding from the vampires. I recall hiding inside a home that was enormous and very elaborate. It turned out the home was of the vampire queen and that is where I discovered that a war had been waged against humanity. The vampires were winning, too.

In a particularly vivid scene of the dream, I recall a conversation I had with a vampire. I believe it was the queen. She showed me, in my mind, how it was pointless to fight them. I saw in my mind scenes of countless humans giving up and giving in to the vampires. All of the agreed to allow to be drained of blood and then transformed into undead, blood thirsty vampires. The numbers of humans left was very small and was shrinking. She tried to convince me that there was no sense in fighting the inevitable. I felt such a loss and hopelessness that when I awoke to my baby crying all I could think about was the scene where the baby vampire was drinking from my son. The impossible feeling of being unable to do anything about it hung over me as I held by baby and rocked him back to sleep.

Interpretation

I am not completely sure what this dream symbolizes, but the feeling it left me with was complete powerlessness. I felt so completely unable to do anything to make a difference in what happened; apathetic. The struggle between “good” and “evil” here is what really stands out. The “evil” could very well be death and the “good”, life. This makes the most sense to me after yesterday’s early morning OBE where I was asked “Do you really want to kill yourself”. The question has been haunting me and was likely what created this dream. The choice in the dream was about whether to succumb to “death” or to resist and continue on with “life”. I never made a decision in the dream. I just stood there in limbo feeling that I had no power in the decision and my fate was already sealed.

Accident

When I rocked my baby to sleep I was able to return to sleep quite quickly. Unfortunately, another disturbing dream awaited me.

In this dream I had agreed to watch my children as well as my two, young nephews who are 3 years and 1 year old. I recall getting the baby bag and all the supplies and saying goodbye to my husband and his brother. I stayed with the children and time passed quickly at first. Then, as it approached bedtime, the youngest of my nephews began wanting his bottle and I dug around in his bag to get it but could not find it. At the same time my other nephew got into some trouble so my attention went to him. He got hurt but I can’t remember how now. When I went to retrieve the bottle for his brother I reached into the bag and found that the 1 year old had been in it. I pulled him out and when I did two wooden stakes came out of his eyes. I was aghast and freaked out because his eyes were bleeding. The tiny wooden rods seemed to not have hurt them but I worried he would lose his vision. I called my husband who told m to take them to the hospital. I fretted over what I had allowed to happen, worrying they would blame me and make us pay for the hospital visit even though it was an accident.

Interpretation

When I awoke this time to my baby’s cries I was perturbed. Why was I having such weird, blood filled dreams? Also, I felt very unhappy about being awakened. Baby was inconsolable for some reason and this only irritated me further. But I finally got him to sleep by walking him in his stroller. I returned to bed a half hour later but could not sleep. 

The visual that stayed with me from this dream was the bleeding eyes of my nephew. The symbolism here is that there is some deep pain and internal conflict within me that needs to be address. To see eyes bleeding can also represent sacrifices and difficulties experienced in life. I feel this is very accurate for me since the previous morning’s OBE still haunts me even today and when I awoke from this dream I kept asking to sleep, not wanting to waken and confront the day ahead of me.

I Can See Clearly Nowview

What is really weird about these strange dreams and the feelings that come with them is that I keep hearing the Johnny Nash song, “I Can See Clearly Now” over and over in my head. This started yesterday afternoon and I could not get the song out of my head. Even as I fell asleep I was singing it over and over. When I woke up this morning it returned to me.

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

My first thoughts to the lyrics were, “Yeah right”. Then I began wondering if perhaps it meant that things were going to get better. By this morning I figured the only thing that I needed to focus on was the first line since that is what I kept singing in my mind the most. But what is “clearly”? Does it mean that these feelings of failure and apathy that I am having are the “clear” part? If so, it sure doesn’t seem clear and there isn’t any sunshine to my day, that is for sure. Not even literally. An the “obstacles”, what are those? Life? Because all I see is more of the same and it bores me.

The Nurturing of Innocence

As I contemplated these things while lying in my bed dreading getting up, I began to drift back to sleep. I was shocked back into wakefulness by a vision of a young girl running through my line of sight. She had blond hair and was vividly bright. But she was lost the minute I tried to focus on her. All I could make out was her blonde hair and that she was wearing a dress dotted with daisies.

It happened again not long after but this time I saw the title of what appeared to be a book written out in front of me. It read, “The Nurturing of Innocence” in bold black letters that moved across my line of sight so close I could not avoid seeing them. With it came a knowingness that this was my job right now, though I rejected it immediately and went back to hating my life and its boring predictability.

Now as I contemplate the message I was given, I understand that my initial thought that this time in my life right now is meant to be devoted to my children was correct. I knew this when we put our house up for sale. I knew this when I left my job. I knew this when we moved into our new house. Yet I feel so bored with it now and I do not know what I am suppose to be doing. Surely it can’t just be what I have been doing? Should I be home schooling? Should we be going on field trips together as a family? Should I be interacting with other mothers?

All the above sounds boring to me. Sigh. Maybe it is suppose to be boring? Maybe if I do it enough I will like it? And this dread of starting back to work, what is that about? Is it because I don’t belong there, or is there more “nurturing” to be had there that I need to involve myself in?

I can’t tell which is the true me and which is my ego creating these feelings. They are all knotted up together and making it very difficult for me to see clearly……Oh, maybe that is what the song means? Perhaps the clarity is coming but I have just yet to get to that instance when the “ah ha” moment hits me? Part of me guesses that will likely to happen once I start work.

220px-Bouguereau-LinnocenceWith the title of the book I saw still bothering me, I decided to Google it. Interestingly enough I found it linked to Homeschooling blogs. Homeschooling. Hmmm. I have considered homeschooling but have been too lazy and a bit scared to do it. I am not an elementary teacher. All my training has been with older kids. Yet even yesterday I considered it again because my daughter’s soon-to-be 1st grade teacher seemed to be sleep walking through life. I could see the brain dead haze in her eyes. Ugh!

This is one of the blogs I found: The Nurturing of Innocence and Naivete. What do you think? Part of me wants to go into the school today and withdraw my little girl before her teacher makes learning and life painful and miserable. Yet, a part of me says to wait and see. There are pieces of the puzzle yet to be revealed. Perhaps I have more to learn?