I am here again unable to sleep. I have in fact already been to sleep but for only an hour.

I feel asleep after receiving instructions to focus on my heart. I was also instructed to let my thoughts go, to “get out of my mind”, specifically. I heard also this message, “We are one” but I did not think anything of it. It felt to me to be an intention, a message to me to remember that my higher self is me and I am him. I heard many other things prior to falling asleep, but the message was clear that we were moving forward, though what that meant I was unsure.

Reemergence

What I am about to try to do my best to describe is not something I am sure can be described. If in fact there were any time that one would feel ready to explode in insanity from a Kundalini experience, now would be the time. My heart is buzzing and I am feeling unsettled within myself as I type this. What happened to me?

It began as a dream. Within the dream I was speaking to a man. He was in fact me, but not me. His hair was long, blonde and straight and all one length. His features angular but not overly so. He appeared as a warrior and his movement I was following as I heard discussion going on around me, within me, everywhere. It was whispered to me but my mind could not interpret what was said. It still cannot. I am really not even sure why I was allowed to remember that even occurred, yet I do.

The man I watched/was but was not was tall and thin and lithe. He reminded me one of the character elves on the Lord of the Rings except that this was in fact just a man, a real man. He wore similarly strange clothing as such a character would. Like I said, he appeared to be a warrior but a spiritual warrior, maybe even a shaman.

I intently watched as this man, who was also me but not, came out of inside of himself/myself and launched upward into the air and up. He felt to be a bird that was rising. I am tempted to say he was a Phoenix but again, this is only a word and no words can describe what occurred.

This process continued in this “dream” state for some time. I followed the man and watched us shift together, apart, together, apart. I felt no fear at this, I was just there, participating yet an observer at the same time.

Finally, I was aware again of being me sleeping in my bed. The warrior, as I will call him, approached. When he did it was as if I “awakened” to his presence. I watched/felt as he and I merged, became one, and then he again rose out from within me. When this shift occurred I was hit with an overwhelming knowingness that a monumental step had just happened. I felt to be of two, three, maybe more individuals. There was no energy rising through my chakras, no OBE, no “Spirit” entering or leaving….it was as if I were being made keenly aware that this other me, this blonde warrior, was rising and would sleep no more. I distinctly recognized him as myself yet I did not know him, maybe could not know him with my human mind.

I still struggle to comprehend what happened. It felt distinctly similar to a OBE except that I do not recall any out of body sensations or anything that could constitute separateness from my physical form. The closest explanation my mind can find is that I experienced some kind of inter-dimensional reality but even that does not feel exactly right. How can I be this man and not be him at the same time. How could I have felt what I did and not be insane from it?

I, in fact, had a moment of intense panic after waking. The panic is gone, replaced with a knowingness that this experience was/is part of the process that I am currently going through. I am left feeling very much different than when I went to sleep. Now I feel very linked to something ancient, something that pre-dates Earth and is beyond my ability to conceptualize. I feel very shamanic, native and yet also distinctly bird-like. I cannot help but think of my previous message to myself, “let the Eagle fly”.

I did not hesitate to write this as soon as I awoke. I knew if I didn’t I would not again sleep. I was told, “You will be told more as the sun rises”. I now anticipate a message upon waking.

Reemergence is defined as: 1.  the act or process of emerging. 2. Evolution. Emerging is defined as 1. to come forth into view, as from concealment or obscurity. 2. to rise up or come forth from. 4. to come into existence. I include these definitions because reemergence was the only word that felt close to acceptable as a description of what I experienced.

I wish, I wish, I knew how to explain it. I cannot. Whatever happened, it was Divine. I feel that a part of me has returned to me.

Edit: After returning to bed, I fell asleep and was awakened to intense buzzing in my head and pressure at the back of my skull. It was not painful. I could keenly sense the vibrations, especially in my third eye. It felt as if a light were pouring out of my third eye and I could see a tunnel forming in my mind’s eye. I recognized what was happening and instantly remembered that I had had this same feeling during the above experience but had somehow forgotten it! The waves of vibrations intensified and I became immediately very conscious. I heard, “surrender” from my guide but I could not for the excitement I felt. I recalled that when I felt to be two of myself that this exact intense vibration was being felt and I suddenly recognized that I was receiving the gift of “sight”. I knew if I allowed the vibrations to continue that I would “see beyond the veil”. Unfortunately, I was too fixated on what was happening for the experience to proceed further.

I experienced more vibrations in my head throughout the night. With each one I was instructed to, “surrender” and with each one I was again not able to ignore the intense sensations and visual phenomenon to ignore it, which stopped it from going any further. After the third such experience I told my guide/higher self, “I’m sorry but I am tired”. I purposefully put a stop to the tunnel of vision that was forming in my mind’s eye and rolled over to fall blissfully asleep.