I was awakened at around 4am by loud thunder. It has been a long time since we’ve had rain in Texas so it was nice to hear. Unfortunately, I couldn’t return to sleep. My mind went to the various dreams I had a few days prior, premonitions of the rain to come.
Dream: Lahaina
I must have drifted off at some point because I ended up in a semi-lucid dream. I was hovering over two children swimming in a cenote. They appeared to be my sons and memory of a trip with my whole family to Mexico came to mind. The reality is that only my daughter and I went on that trip, yet the alternative memory was just as real to me. I watched my two boys for a while. One dunked the other and the two fought over a high spot in the water upon which one could stand.
The scene shifted and I was flying over a dirt path in a tropical area. I was aware of not having a body. I was just a point of consciousness.
I could hear a woman singing in an unfamiliar language, repeating the same phrase over and over. Her voice was calming and the melody soothing. I recognized the language to be native Hawaiian. I heard/thought: Lahaina. I knew instantly that I was being shown something and should pay attention.
The woman continued to sing. I followed the trail to a grassy field overlooking the ocean.
Then I was watching a group of people. They were preparing to build a memorial. I saw their plans. It was made of concrete and looked like a giant, oval pit with concentric circles leading to the top. I suggested they make their memorial from nature, perhaps digging into the earth, to avoid the use of unnatural, manmade materials. The group listened.
Again, I found myself floating along the dirt path, the woman’s voice singing the haunting melody. I began to cry sorrowful tears. I didn’t know the meaning of the words but I seemed to know that I was in a healing place; somewhere those who had died from the fire had gone to recover. It felt very much like a soul retrieval scenario, except I was not retrieving anyone.
I followed the path for what seemed like a very long time. The haunting melody on repeat. I cried the entire time. The sorrow, pain and grief was just too much.
Eventually I became aware of my physical body but I did not awaken. I could hear a television from downstairs. It was way too loud and I thought one of my boys must have gotten up in the middle of the night to watch TV. Then I thought, “It’s noises-off.” I knew to ignore the sounds I was hearing. I intended to, and did, but did not go OOB. Instead, I entered a dream where I left my bed, went downstairs and into the living room intent on turning off the noisy TV. The living room was at my mom’s house, though, and the TV was super small. It was also an older TV, like from the 80’s. I grabbed the remote and turned it off, noting the regular TV was gone. I thought, “I wonder what happened to it?” I went to my mom’s room to check if she had the TV. Sure enough, it was mounted on her wall.
Realizing I was dreaming, I instantly woke up. I cursed missing out on an OBE opportunity. I was just too tired and heavy with sleep.
I shifted in and out of sleep after that. I remember being downstairs and seeing my husband in the kitchen. He was staring blankly through me and seemed somewhat confused about where he was. I could sense a sadness coming from him but didn’t attempt to speak to him. He was asleep and I was not.
I came instantly back to body awareness, recognizing I had been OOB. Again, I was too tired to take advantage of the opportunity. Sigh.
My reaction was positive. I enjoyed every minute of the interview, especially her accounts of being cradled in the arms of Jesus and reunited with Source and her experience of complete surrender after an attempted suicide attempt. I saw so many parallels to my own experiences but also recognized just how unique each and every one of us is when it comes to our spiritual journey.
After watching the video I asked my Companion if I could receive Knowing like Mary. I heard back, “Yes, of course. What do you want to Know?” I said, “I don’t know, whatever I need to know to help me understand my journey and mission here.” I received confirmation that my request would be granted. I thought no more about it.
Lucid Dream: Soul Retrieval
I slept well and woke at 5:30am from a string of dreams indicating that I was learning how to cross between dimensions, how to analyze the energy in order to detect when I could cross and what to expect when I did. At the time I didn’t understand that I was learning a lesson. Instead I was mulling over my dreams wondering what they meant and finding myself confused. All along this song chorus was repeating in my head, “You and me, we’re beautiful, beautiful. We all, we all we’re going to be alright.”
Somehow I drifted off to sleep. I ended up inside a large house. It was hard to see, like the lights were out, and I was with a woman and her husband. It was apparent to me that I had been awakened by them but I didn’t know why yet. They were rushing about readying for something and I recall feeling I needed to get ready for work. Then I noted the time. It was far too early to go to work, yet it felt like mid-morning for some reason. I followed the couple into their bedroom and waited there. I noticed the dresser drawers had safety pins on them instead of knobs. I inspected them closely, curious as to why this would be, and saw the knobs had come loose and the safety pins were the replacements. These were the largest safety pins I had ever seen! I accidentally broke one as I fiddled with it, too.
Then I was laying on the bedroom floor but at the same time I felt to be in my own bed. In hindsight I realize now that I was firmly anchored to my reality while venturing into someone else’s reality. A woman was next to me on the floor and her husband was in the bed to our right. For some reason I felt like the woman next to me was my ex-MIL, though I know this is not accurate.
Some conversation went on between the man and woman and then a chair seemed to throw itself across the bedroom into the dresser. The woman reacted as if it had happened before. Both the man and woman were distressed. I asked the woman some questions because I sensed another presence in the room, one that was very upset and filled with many conflicting emotions. The woman told me who she thought the earthbound Spirit was. I asked her to tell the woman in Spirit what she needed to tell her. The woman was shaking with fear and said, “She can’t hear me. I can’t talk to her.” I told her she could and hesitantly the woman whispered to me, “I’m sorry. It was an accident.”
Sensing the emotional turbulence building in the energy that composed the earthbound spirit, I said to the spirit, “She says she’s sorry. It was an accident. She’s sorry!” There came back such an energetic rebuttal that I knew I had my work cut out for me. I sensed fear from my right, my fear, but ignored it and seemed to know exactly what to do.
I sat up and began to address the spirit though I could not see her or anything in the room. Light Language began to pour out of me in song and word. The sounds were beautiful yet there is no way my physical body could have produced them. Two distinct sounds, one low and one high, came out of my mouth. Eventually I even heard more than two. I recognized this as I sang and was impressed but knew not to focus on it and just continue to sing to the woman in spirit.
As I sang the woman in spirit resisted. The energy seemed to build up like a wall in front of me. It felt as if the spirit was about to hurl a huge wave of nasty at me and the woman on the floor. The man in the bed said, “I can’t sleep with this noise, I’m leaving.” He got up and I felt him leave the room. The feeling from him was fear. I turned to the woman next to me and asked, “How long has it been?” The woman replied, “Nine years. I’m so sorry. It was an accident (still talking to me)” Then she retreated and left the room, too. She did not want to deal with any of the energy coming from the woman in spirit.
I just kept singing. With the focus of her upset gone, the spirit began to calm a bit and that is when everything she held in her energy came into me. I knew her story and why she felt the way she felt. Without being able to control any of it, the only thing I could do was sing as tears just rolled out of my eyes like rain.
I still couldn’t see her but her story told me why she was where she was. Somehow her death had been caused by the woman who had left the room. In her death the woman in spirit had been unable to get to her baby, who was still alive. She blamed the woman who caused her death for her inability to get to her baby. The emotion of this was turbulent – anger, confusion, desperation, love, grief, hatred, despair – all swirling around chaotically and all hitting me full on in my heart center.
Again, I felt this fear coming from my right. I knew it was mine but ignored it again, focusing on the Light Language. By this time I was using my hands and seeming to do some kind of energetic surgery on the space in front of me. I still couldn’t see the woman in spirit, though. It was just blackness and the emotional turbulence she carried.
My guidance came through, then, because I was wondering how long this would last. I had been crying and singing Light Language the entire time yet the spirit seemed intent on clinging to her self-created reality. I heard, “She is leaving.” I looked to see if I could detect the spark of light that often accompanies this, but saw nothing. Instead I felt the ridge of energy lessen and then crumble down to reveal a very small, grief-filled energy behind.
Then I noticed I was holding two thin slips of paper in my hand. It just appeared out of thin air. I saw writing on it in two columns. Each column had one word. The words had been crossed out to the point that I could only read a few. I knew the paper had significance. I held it up to the spirit who I could still only sense, and began to tear in in pieces. I kept speaking in Light Language throughout.
She was listening to me so I stopped the Light Language and began to talk to her. She was asking me why – Why did it have to be this way? Why could this woman live while she had to die? Why, why, why. On and on. The most concise and well-worded explanation came out of my mind/mouth. I explained how duality works, how we each choose our experience, how it all works out in the end. I said it so perfectly. I wish I could remember my words but all that is left now is awe at myself. I once again sensed the doubt and fear off to my right but ignored it. The woman in spirit was listening and accepting what I said.
Then my focus was on the space in front of the dresser in the bedroom. I began to sing in Light Language again and knew I was mending tears in the energy of the space. It was like a jagged crack in the energy and I knew somehow this was done by the spirit. Like it was a doorway of some kind that needed to be closed. I literally sewed it up with Light Language. I saw the energy as threads of light crisscrossing back and forth across the opening until it was sealed. It was fascinating!
I continued to sing in Light Language. Tears continued to flow out of my eyes and I felt them also coming out of my physical eyes. Again I was acutely aware of being in two places at once. I knew somehow it was not time to leave yet. I had to stay, but I could sense my departure coming.
That is when I felt an energy to the right of my physical body. I turned toward it and recognized a small child, maybe 13 months old, standing over me. She was full of love and gratitude. I knew her message to me was, “Thank you!” I reached out and touched her and her body felt solid and soft, so real! I saw she was wearing a diaper and was fair skinned with fair hair. Just like my own children. The tears were streaming uncontrollably from my eyes. I could feel the wetness on my cheeks and noticed I could not breathe well. The love from this small child was overwhelming.
As the child departed I felt the timing was right to return to my body. As I left the other reality and entered into the in-between I was visited by a woman in spirit. She sent me, “Moira”, first. Then she said, “I love you. Thank you! I love you. I love you…” I came fully into my body while she sent this message, but I could sense her to my left up near the ceiling. Tears were still streaming out of my eyes. I knew this was the woman I had helped. She had made it and departed the lower astral and was ascending through the physical where she had stopped to tell me thank you. Wow.
Soul Retrieval Work
After she left and I was fully awake I could not control the tears. I was not sobbing or even feeling sorrowful, yet tears kept coming and coming. My pillow was soaked, my nose clogged. I had a headache. It was obvious I had been crying for a while.
I began to try and make sense of what I had just experienced. I wanted to know the full story but was advised that it was not necessary. I knew what I needed to and should not over-identify with the situation. I had done my job and now needed to release what I had taken on in order to help the woman. I had revealed her core wound by taking on some her her burden so that she could see it for herself. In doing so, I now needed to cleanse myself of it.
Eventually, I had to sit up because the tears were not stopping. I spoke in Light Language with the intent to finalize whatever I had done. After I did this, the tears finally stopped and I felt unburdened.
It was clear to me that my request from the night before had been granted. My Companion told me that I “work” every night and was allowed a glimpse of that work. He kept telling me, “We are proud of you.” At the time I didn’t care and eventually, after hearing it several times I told him, “I don’t care.” lol I was still over-identifying with the woman in spirit. As a mother, I understood her pain at losing her child so prematurely, even if it was her that died and not her child. The loss is the same.
For a time I had trouble grasping what I had just experienced. The perspectives of all parties were jumbled. Was it my ex-MIL? Her MIL? Me that was the perpetrator? It felt like all of them at once – confusing! Was the woman in spirit really me? Or was she elsewhere trapped and I came to assist? Why was it dark? Where was the light? Was I the light? Was it the lower astral realms where the spirit was trapped? That seemed likely…
Eventually I Knew that all of the experience, all perspectives, were me. It was just so obvious. To differentiate between her and me and them was a human tendency. The reality is that we are all One and the same. There is no separation. In that very lucid experience my perspective was all perspectives at once. That is why to try and make sense of it was not advised. No sense in human terms could be made of it.
The congratulations came again from my guidance. I heard, “Well done.” This time, I said, “Thank you.” I knew what they were referring to. It was that I ignored my fear, which I noticed several times, and stayed the course in order to complete the task at hand. I did not reject the emotions of the woman spirit despite how “scary” they appeared/felt. I embraced them, taking them on as my own so that she could see the truth and be set free by it. It was/is beautiful.
I felt this kind of work was better done from my position in a human body. I asked why. I received back that the lower realms where spirit becomes trapped are very dense, denser even than the realms of the living. Access from the “higher” realms is almost impossible. Those trapped there cannot see those coming from such a high vibration. However, when visiting from the realms of the living, the light carried via the human vessel is able to penetrate the lower realms, though even it takes time to be seen. It was apparent to me that the only way the woman in spirit would have ever seen me was for me to “lower” myself to her level by taking on her pain as my own. I had to be one with her first. My understanding is that it is easier to do this when occupying a physical body. It has something to do with being better able to handle the density of the emotion carried by earthbounds.
All of this is fascinating but at the same time very humbling. I feel deeply changed.
I was awakened at 4am by my daughter. She must have caught my cold because she was coughing but it was just the typical dry cough that comes with postnasal drip. She went back to sleep but I, of course, could not. Then, whenever I would start to doze off, she would cough loudly once or twice and wake me up again. So, I went to another room to try and get some uninterrupted sleep.
I tossed and turned for some time, thinking, “I should just get up. I’m too awake”. A song kept going through my mind by Saints of Valory, Neon Eyes (Into the Deep), specifically the part, “But won’t you follow me, into the deep”. I just kept singing it over and over and finally decided to stop. Then I got hungry so I had to run to the kitchen for a snack. Finally, stomach content and mind quiet, I drifted off to sleep.
OBE #1: Hotel
I don’t remember what I was dreaming about, but I know I was dreaming. What I do remember is being awakened by someone brushing against me. I opened my eyes suddenly and scanned the darkened room. But it wasn’t the bedroom I was in. It looked like a hotel room. I could see the windows, the door and the edge of the bed I was laying on.
I looked around for whoever brushed against me and I heard crying. It was a quiet, sobbing sound and it was from a very small child. I urged myself to get out of bed to help. As I slid out of bed, my astral body felt heavy, as if I were carrying forty pounds of dead weight.
I mentally called out to the child, telling her it was okay. Then I saw her. She ran up to me and took my hand. She was very tiny, only about two to three feet tall and looked up at me with big, tear filled eyes. She was wearing a pink dress that flared out like a tutu with white stockings that went right up to the bottom of the dress and pink Mary Jane’s. In the dark of the room, she seemed to glow with her own light and I immediately wanted to help her.
I followed her toward the door, still feeling very heavy. The heavy energy was pulling me down and I knew I needed more energy. I tried to summon it, but the moment I began to ask I rushed back into my body.
OBE #2: Negative Feeling
I immediately set the intention to return and I was back in the bed, in the dark hotel room. I got out of bed, my astral body again feeling burdened by heavy energy. I began to make my way toward the door but stopped. I didn’t like the feeling of the place or the feeling of my energy. This time there was no little girl and I felt a strong sense that something was not quite right. In the little time I was there, I gathered heaps of information. All at once the knowledge was there and I knew what the bad feeling was. There was negative sexual energy and it was focused on the child. There was a child molester involved in the energy.
Within moments of recognizing all this I was sucked back into my body once again. I lay in the buzzing sensation that surrounded me for a moment and set the intention to return again. Instantly, I returned once again to the scene.
OBE #3: Energy
This time I got out of my body quickly and with less heaviness but it felt like I was dragging myself behind me. The farther I got from my starting point, the easier it got. I reached the door and opened it, intent on getting out of the hotel room and leaving the negative energy behind me. I looked up at the stars and thought how nice it would be to be able to see daylight. Why was it still so dark? I wanted to shift to another scene, anywhere but where I was. And I knew that in order to do this I needed to free myself of the heaviness I was feeling.
I rubbed the palms of my hands together and said, “I need more energy”. The minute I said this I was hit with intense amounts of energy. I felt like I was buzzing while at the same time being shaken. It is hard to describe. It felt like my astral body was shifting back and forth very quickly.
I was disappointed to find myself back in my body as the shifty sensations continued. I thought, “What did I do wrong?” and realized that asking for more energy had not been the right thing to do. But what was?
I wanted to return to astral but there was a nagging feeling that it was almost time to get up and that I had things to do. Reluctantly, I moved and stretched out my body, leaving the prospect of another trip OOB behind me. Again the song repeated in my mind, “But won’t you follow me, into the deep”.
Note: It was suggested by other astral travelers that this OBE was in fact an attempted soul retrieval. This is the first ever soul retrieval OBE I recall having and I am curious if there will be others.