Attachment and the Body

How attached to your body are you?

This is something I am being led to consider indirectly. What I mean by this is that I continue to have this odd recollection of “choosing” where in time I will focus my attention and then choosing again what experience I want to focus upon in that particular time-track. In doing this, I experience myself as in two distinct places – one as the Chooser and the other as the Perceiver.

This strange recollection first occurred when I had the experience of being OOB while wide awake, sitting in a chair alongside my family. With it came the strange, sudden disconnection from my life and individual experiences. This disconnection shook me to the core in a way I cannot quite describe and it took me a while to reconnect to myself. I did so by looking at my baby who was peeking at me from the doorway. When I oped my arms to him to receive a hug the disconnect vanished and I felt “normal” again. You can image the relief!

In that moment my perception, unbeknownst to me at the time, was forever altered. Now, no matter how I try to push this regained memory of Self out of my mind, it keeps reappearing at the strangest of times. Usually I am in the midst of my daily activities – at work or in the midst of trying to resolve a conflict or problem I am being faced with.

There is a part of me that wants to reject this memory and pretend that it is my imagination. I do so without issue only to find it once again thrust into my mind, as if someone is saying to me, “I don’t think so. LOOK”.

Now, over a week since the event occurred, I am still shaken by it but am finally able to look at it objectively and without the odd, irrational fear that I will somehow lose myself if I do.

What is it that is so scary? It is the fact that in that moment, I realized that this body, this physical vehicle, is NOT me. Yes, I recognized this before; however, it was similar to knowing a fact one reads from a book. I really didn’t know it because I had not experienced it. When I finally did experience it, I finally Knew it and the memory of it was life shattering. I want to say that I had, in that moment, an Awakening to my Self.

Thankfully, I have had many Awakenings since 2003 and so this one, by comparison to the others, was quite subtle in its effects upon me. Yet so profound that it had to remain slightly below the surface in order for me to fully integrate it. Now, after nightly, in-depth consultation and mitigation by my guides, I am finally able to bring it to the surface of this human mind.

time_joakim_kraemer_photography_I am starting to see just how strongly I am attached to this body. I love it. I have so much love for it that I see it as part of me.

What if I looked in the mirror and did not see me, but instead saw the vehicle that I am choosing to occupy. Like a car, I can get in and get out anytime I choose. Yet I have chosen time and time again not to leave it while in this point in time. I have fully immersed myself in it to the point that I have forgotten I am not separate from it.

And with this thought stream I see myself again looking down at this flow of matter, space, energy and time. It is like a river, below me. It moves and fluctuates alive with colors and energy, yet I am not part of it yet. And I can choose to go into this, become it; become the effect of it. And I see all the physical forms I can choose from that allow me to experience all that I am Not. And when I see them, I have no more an emotional response to them than I do a wild animal or tree or rock. I have an affinity for these things but not an attachment to them. If they were destroyed I would know it is just part of the cycle and feel no loss as they would still exist, just in another form.

However, once attachment occurs, there is made possible to experience a deep loss. It is like losing a child, a family member or a beloved pet. There is grief, there is guilt, there is a longing for what was.

This is what happens when we become attached to the body.

And I realize I love this body but I must be able to detach from it at will. This can be done and in doing so will allow me to be more at-cause; to be a better captain of this physical vessel.

Update: Symptoms of the Shift

I wanted to quickly update everyone on my current symptoms.

Current symptoms:

  • deep, dream-filled sleep
  • lack of motivation
  • skin changes
  • muscle twitches
  • restlessness in legs
  • fatigue
  • thirst
  • vibrational fluctuations
  • buzzing in top three chakras
  • Increase in heart-centeredness
  • profound periods of knowingness
  • increase in calm/clarity
  • periods of intense emotional sensitivity (most noticeable in close relationships)
  • changes in perception

My dreams have a recurring theme of death/rebirth in them. I have had several now that seem almost precognitive. I have dreamed of two family members either becoming ill or dying. One is a family member whose husband recently died. In the dreams I am trying to avoid the deceased person but find myself laying right next to their corpse, disgusted. I recognize these dreams as signaling to me that I am currently working through certain cycles and patterns in my life that need to be discarded.

I wake several times a night knowing what is being discussed in the dreams and then returning to more dreams and waking again with knowingness. There is very little mental conversation going on between myself and my guides. It is now a feeling/knowingness/calm that pervades my being. This is quite uncommon for me but I like it.

My head continues to be covered in an energy helmet and at times my legs will become very restless and I will have to ground in order to calm them. This is rare, though. I also continue to be very thirsty despite drinking a gallon or more a day and am still experiencing skin changes.

Thankfully, most of the symptoms I currently experience are mild and the newer ones are positive and helpful in my daily life. I am especially thankful for the intense periods of calm, increase in clarity, and enhanced perception (though this can be overwhelming at times). I am very happy to be rid of the crazy brain fog, profuse sweating, headaches, visual changes, and

Facilitating Transmutation

I don’t know about you, but I have been caught in a muck of mis-emotion (an emotion or emotional reaction that is inappropriate or irrational in the present time environment) lately that has me asking my guides, “When will this be over?” The answer, unfortunately, is about three more weeks. Sigh.

The feeling is not constant, thankfully, and is a direct result of adjusting to the new, higher vibrational state of the planet. Some of my chakras are the ones to blame as they are not fully vibrating at the same rate as the rest of me. I know the best solution is to get outside and extrovert myself as best I can. That means focusing my attention outward instead of inward and getting away from closed-in, man-made spaces. Those of us going through this transformation, this Shift, are most likely to introvert because this is how we introspect and learn more about ourselves in order to transmute. Yet, as I have been told and presented in a previous channeling, this introversion is counterproductive at this time as the work is not ours to do. We must become Observers of this process; step back and allow the transmutation to occur without interference.

For most of you, including me, this is quite difficult as we have been full-on participants in this process. The Shift in our vibrational frequency is never far from our mind as we go about our daily lives. We have become so involved, so intertwined in our own self-expansion, that we have become it in every aspect of our being. Mind you, there is nothing wrong with this, this was supposed to happen and we did well. Yet, there comes a time when we must step back and move forward in another direction, the one that will take us down our intended path. To do this we cannot be caught up in ourselves like we once were. We must go out, not in.

The future, for us, is not set in stone, no one’s is, but our purpose was decided many lives prior to this one. It is time to fulfill that purpose.

For me, this change from introspective and introverted will be challenging. Except for my pre-teen years, I have always been this way. I prefer time with myself to time with others. Thankfully, the move outward is not sudden nor will it require much effort. It will be a gradual process, one that suits the individual, their personality and needs. My guides tell me, “It will be easy”. I suspect their definition of “easy” and mine are not the same.

If you are like me, you may be wondering, “So, what do I do now?”

Continue your spiritual practices. Meditate, do yoga, exercise, eat well. You don’t toss all of that. You worked hard to get here and the lifestyle changes your made were purposeful. Be mindful of where you are, when you are and what you are doing in the present moment. Practice this, make it a habit if it is not already. Do reality checks throughout your day. Be in tune with your body. Listen to it. When there is an “off” feeling or mis-emotion, take the time to ground and be in nature. Focus on your heart and breathe deep until the feeling subsides.

Doing the above will facilitate transmutation.

Energy Upgrade and Adjustment

I had strange energy sensations most of the night. I am convinced there is much going on in my dreams as well.

Pregnant

I had a vivid dream of being very, very pregnant. In the dream I was walking outside. It was dark and there was snow on the ground. In my mind I heard a female doctor asking me questions about my pregnancy and labor. I recall telling her what I was feeling, relaying every sensation. At the same time I was very aware of having these sensations in both my energy body and physical body. I was also contacting part of my physical awareness because I remember talking to myself about the discrepancies. The conversation went something like, “I’m not pregnant”. Then there was a mental scan of my physical body and a recognition that I was indeed not pregnant. The other Me, the one in the dream would reply, “Yes, I know” and then focus back on the dream.

While this dream was going on there were intense labor contractions felt. They were very real and felt at both the physical level and energy level. When these contractions would occur the female doctor would always be asking me to tell her when I felt the contractions and what they felt like. What is interesting is the sensations were not at all like real contractions, though the source of them was mostly in the second chakra area. The sensations were in spots in my midsection, sometimes low and sometimes high up.

While talking with this female doctor I remember my physical me interjecting when she said to expect the birth to occur on the 31st. The physical me said, “But I already had my baby on the 31st. The 31st of March”. But the female doctor was relaying that this event would occur on April 31st.

I awoke after this last communication exchange distinctly aware that my mid-section had been receiving a thorough cleanse. Based upon the pain level in the dream I suspect that this was done while I was asleep to avoid the major discomfort involved.

Colors and Messages

I had other similar dreams but will not recount them now. In between these dreams I had messages along with visual flashes of color. When I had the flashes of color it was as if my entire visual field was replaced by the color. I saw an intense, bright blue one time and another time a similarly vivid green followed by an orange. The message was that I was being “adjusted” and as a result there was a cycling through each of the chakras. When I asked when this cycling and adjustment would end, I received an answer. You guessed it – the end of this month, which doesn’t have 31 days so there isn’t a 31st of April!

After this message I became very aware of the a vibrating in my energy body. I could feel the cycling that was occurring. I felt, of course, the familiar energy helmet. This remained constant. However, the energy would jump from my heart to my second chakra then down to my legs and then again back to my second chakra. The entire time the energy would not completely leave the chakras but remain in lesser amounts. The result was an all-over body vibration and tingling.

Energy Upgrade and Adjustment

What I am told is happening to me right now is that I am being adjusted in order to better acclimate to the energy upgrade I just received. Basically, some of my chakras handled the upgrade without incident but some are still not vibrating at the higher frequency. Thus, they are being adjusted. Ultimately, they will all be vibrating at the same higher frequency. Until then, I may experience variations in emotion and energy based upon the chakras that are being upgraded and attuned. This adjustment will be going on until the end of this month.

This is likely happening to others right now as well. If you are feeling odd energy body sensations, emotionality above and beyond your norm, sleeping very deeply with odd dreams and finding yourself strangely ungrounded for no apparent reason, you are likely experiencing similar adjustments to my own.

This is an example of what has been happening to me and how to handle it:

Yesterday I was more emotionally tuned into people. I was able to shield myself for the most part but not from my husband. He got very mad at me for disagreeing with him and sent me such a wave of nasty, hateful energy that I could not avoid the effects of it. I ended up a mess of emotion, so very hurt and feeling unloved. I was able to recover after going out by myself. It was odd how well it worked to get outside in this instance. When I came home and was back in the company of my husband I felt positive, high energy. It just goes to show how very important it is to immerse yourself in nature when feeling out of sorts. Such great medicine!

OBE: Through the Screen

I had a very brief lucid-dream-to-OBE this morning.

Elevator Tube

I had been dreaming in vivid color of being taken down this elevator at intense speeds. What is odd is that the elevator was more like a tunnel-slide, similar to a water park tube slide where the top is open. Twice I got into the elevator. Twice I slide down the slide at such intense speeds that I held my breath and fought back fear.

The first time I went with the feeling, fear and all, and felt my energy body tingling from the experience. The landscape was hidden from me but others were with me and I felt safe.

The second time I saw the approach to the drop-off coming and knew what was about to happen. I saw spread out in front of me the most beautiful scene. The sky was an intense blue and there were all colors of the rainbow. I saw a patchwork countryside below and the elevator looked like a waterfall cascading down into this scene. It almost felt like I was in a cartoon the colors were so vivid and bright.

As I came to the drop-off point I detached from the me in the experience and pulled back as the Observer. I watched as I went down the tube. As I fell back I also felt different, as if I was dematerializing from the scene. The energy that was me was popping like popcorn and alive.

Through the Screen

There was a sense that I was dreaming throughout this experience and it came to me suddenly without warning that I was OOB. This likely was brought on by the strange popping energy I had which seemed almost like my energy was exploding outward like the sunspots on the sun.

As this realization hit me I was still removing myself from the experience and being the Observer. The elevator became smaller and smaller as did the scenery around it. It got to the point that I was viewing it on this large movie screen. This is when I began to take control of the experience.

I was sitting in a seat in the middle of a dark theater. On the screen was this beautiful place, still very vivid in color and playing out before me. When I took over, I moved out of the seat, stumbling over the seat in front of me which had been so dark I didn’t notice it. I moved toward the screen, getting right up close to it. My energy body was still popping and now ebbing and flowing as if it was going through a cycle. I recognized the energy, my energy, was sometimes low and not stable and I thought, “I am dreaming”.

At the screen now, I moved into it. Oddly, I felt myself blend with the screen. I became the screen for an instant and then I was through it.

On the other side I felt immobilized. My energy was still doing strange things and I felt to be powerless to stop it from doing whatever it was doing. I could see the vivid colors flashing in front of me with the popping, explosive cycling of my energy body. I knew I was in the beautiful scene but I could not move because of the strange cycling of my energy.

Within seconds of entering the scene I rushed back into my body. I was distinctly aware of my energy body in this process as it shook violently. The sensation took my breath away and I gasped for air as I awoke. My heart was pounding, skipping beats, and I still felt immobilized.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 6

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9pm

Time to wake: 6:30am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: None

Mood: normal

Body: None

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: WBTB

Sleeping position: Left side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Vitamin E 400mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 250mg, Benadryl 25mg

Essential Oils: Clary Calm, Whisper, Lavender (diffused)

Becoming the Observer

I was awakened this morning by my guide’s voice telling me, “You will experience a change in perception”.

Since I was still tired and wanted to sleep, I asked to astral and felt instantly this was not going to happen, not for some time. I was told, “Your focus now is in this reality”. I understood but I miss my OBEs. I am eager to see how I have changed while OOB because I know I have had some phenomenal changes in body.

I was able to fall back to sleep but it was very light sleep and many times I found myself in the in-between getting messages that made no sense. One message came in the form of a slip of paper that reminded me of a name tag. It was pushed into my vision twice. The first time I ignored it. The second I felt I needed to look at it. When I did I read very clearly, “Mansfield Emergency Services”. I did not read the rest as the paper was removed from my vision.

I don’t recall much after that. I fell asleep but my dreams seemed interrupted continually by Me, as in my Higher Self. Several times I would wake suddenly in my body to vibrations that were quite choppy and back-and-forth. I was not shocked by them but it almost felt as if I were being shaken. In one instance of this occurring I heard someone tell me, “You can project” and felt myself transfer back into my physical body. My eyes flickered the instant I returned to my body and felt the vibrations. I actually felt the transfer from my energy body to my physical body and was quite startled. Usually there is a black out or the two bodies feel to be one. This time there was a distinct separateness and an awareness of the process. I feel I was being made to observe this process time and time again throughout this morning.

Another time I was blissfully dreaming, of what I don’t now recall, and I felt to be kicked in the ribcage. The sensation was quite real and felt physical but it was not physical at all. I awoke confused at what had occurred and kept expecting to feel the residual pain in my physical body. But all I felt was a hollow spot in that space, as if energy had been removed. It was perplexing and I knew that I had been “kicked back to this reality”. I was not amused!

The more I attempted to sleep, the more aware I became. I felt as if I was being prompted to “be aware” of something. I kept hearing that I should “observe” and that was my lesson now was to become the observer in life, to practice this. I recall being instructed on why this method would be beneficial. Basically, I was told/shown how when one becomes the observer, they effectively separate from themselves in order to enhance their perception. Rather than be the effect of the emotional up’s and down’s in life, they can be emotionally objective.

I was not/am not completely comfortable with this lesson. I recognize that I hold a belief that to Live life, one must Experience all of it. Therefore, to not experience the emotion, the high’s and low’s, would mean I was not fully experiencing life. I am now recognizing, though, that because of this belief I often let myself become the Effect of life and in doing that, lose all control I have over it. I have become so use to this belief system that it has overrun my ability to control the emotion, the reaction, to life.

To regain control I must regain my objectivity and to do that I must view life from a different perspective – that of the Observer. To be the Observer is to be Cause. I am learning this now.

About Channeling

You may have noticed me posting more and more channeled messages lately. I wanted to discuss this change briefly as it relates directly to my transformation.

What is Channeling?

First of all, what is “channeling”? In the simplest terms, channeling is allowing your divine Self (Higher Self) to come through this human form unimpeded by the Ego. There are varying degrees of channeling, all determinate upon the amount of Ego interference present in the individual. The Ego will never be completely gone, so you will likely find various amounts of Ego within every channeled message. This is OK and should not be judged harshly by either the channeler or the reader.

Why Channeling?

Why am I suddenly channeling? I recently reached a milestone which now allows the flow of information from my Higher Self to transpire with less effort and less Ego interference. What was this milestone? My heart chakra was cleared to a level previously not reached in this lifetime. When this occurred, the information from my Higher Self began flowing through my heart more freely with less interference from the mind, which is Ego’s territory.

Prior to reaching this milestone I approached moments where the channel was clear and uninhibited. I began passing on channeled messages when these moments presented themselves. I felt moved to pass on these messages quite unexpectedly which is why I began to post them to this blog. If I did not take the time to allow the messages to come through, then the image of me mediating or a strange urgency would follow me until I did.

What is Channeling Like?

What is it like to channel? For me, I feel an urge to write. Sometimes I get a vision of myself meditating, legs crossed in the middle of the floor. Other times there will be a descending and pervading calm wash over me. In these moments, if I do not sit at a computer or with a pencil and paper at hand I will have a knowing of information being transferred between my Higher Self and my physical Self. It is very much like a conduit between the two parts of myself and through it flows energy in the form of images, sensations and words. If I am close to a computer or pencil/paper then I do a sort of automatic writing with eyes closed, allowing the information to come through me. It usually comes in images and feelings before words, so often times the words are in short, choppy pieces of sentences that don’t make much sense until afterward when I read over what I have written.

When the channel is initiated and the process begins I must detach from the process or else the flow of information stops and then has to be re-established. What I mean by “detach” is that I cannot be an active participant in the flow; I cannot allow my mind to follow the conversation. The more I feel the need to ask questions as the information is presented, the more the flow is impeded. Prior to my heart clearing milestone, there was much more Ego interference and the information flow was much more inhibited. This is because the mind was more dominant in the process. This has now been corrected and I am being taught how to tune in to my heart and tune out of my mind.

Frequency of Messages

I cannot say how often I will post channeled messages. I am finding that there are messages intended just for me and there are messages intended for myself and others as well. I received an individual messages this morning. The “download” occurred without words but I knew, somehow, the message in its entirety. Still there are no words to it but just a knowing that right now I am correcting imbalances in the chakras and energy to stabilize the energy body. Specifically, the 2nd chakra is being recalibrated and adjusted. I feel like my body is a car getting a tune-up!

For now, my source of information is my Higher Self and representatives of the Council of Many, also known as the High Council. I will include the source in the title. I do not concern myself with specific names too much, though sometimes I will get a specific name when the channeling is initiated or when it is concluded. To me, all information that comes through my Higher Self is from the same source – the collective embodiment of the One (God).

Memory Encoding – Message from the High Council

It is time now for the truth to be encoded into your DNA and throughout every cell in your body. This recollection of the Old and the New intertwines to create a new molecule for consciousness. Without and within you there will be new changes, accelerations and indoctrinations of the New, and the How of Life will forever be known. The manifestation of thought and creation is within your reach. You create every day with each breath of life and each thought that is yours. In this manifestation you will find new levels of awareness and Know more of your own divinity and ability as a Being. Do not trust that which is routine for it holds within it booby traps and injustice. It wreaks of platitudes and immorality. It is NOT you but a manifestation of all the Old and fearful Ego-centered ways that you are now leaving behind. It is a trail of your past struggles and you can look back upon it, reflect upon and learn from it but you will never again BE it.

Please hold these lessons, the ones you are currently learning, above all else in your life. The Ego tricks that tell you to worry about what will be or what was can hinder your progress and is a meddlesome thing. There is much more ease in the moment, much more breath in Being, much more life in Living when you trust in and look toward your center, the Heart of You.

Obstacles will come. You will not be without conflict in your life. But, if you remain centered and present in each moment these petty inconveniences will pass more quickly and with less destruction had you otherwise attempted to control and subvert theme. Delays in progress will not hold you back any more than when the drought dries up the water on the ground. The sky holds more of the same and will eventually drown you in a deluge. For all is a cycle of death and rebirth here in this physical, this Earth existence. One becomes none becomes All within a breath and Time shall cease not upon your passing from it. Enjoy what you have. Relish in the moment. Fulfill your deepest desires and fear not of their passing or your passing from this Time for it is but a thought away for it to return into your heart.

Finding the Present Moment

The past few days have been interesting.

Integrating Change and Finding the Present Moment

Though I have not had any spectacular spiritual experiences like OBEs or kundalini energy zaps, I have been experiencing a new phenomenon. It is, I suspect, exactly what my guide warned me was coming. He said I would hear him differently, “from my heart”. I did not understand what he meant but I think I am beginning to.

What I have been experiencing is best described as being “moved” from within to do or say or be something other than is normal for me. Sometimes, though rarely, I do hear my guide as a very quiet thought instructing or directing me; prompting me to consider what I am doing and why. Most of the time, however, there is simply an urge or sudden disposition toward a certain direction.

Examples:

1. After an enturbulating morning cause by my preoccupation with a current problem at work, I began to view the problem from a different standpoint and the ridge of energy I had created against it began to melt away. With this relaxing and withdrawing from the problem, a feeling hit me to break my normal routine. The more I went with this feeling, the more my spirits lifted and I began to feel propelled into action. All I did that was out of the ordinary was go into places I normally wouldn’t and initiate conversations with people, some of whom I had never met.

As I allowed myself to open up, an unfolding occurred from within. It is hard to describe but I felt in my element, more myself than usual. I also noticed how people reacted to this change and how I reacted as well. There was no resistance and the spirits of both myself and those I communicated with were elevated substantially.

What I soon realized was that I had been allowing my Ego to control me and as I focused more upon the moment I was in, rather than on the past situations that my Ego held onto, I began to view everything with fresh perspective. It was as if the strings that held me back were cut and I was let free, free from invisible yet very tangible restraints.

2. Another instance similar to the one above was related to the same work problem. I had received an email and it caused me to become preoccupied with what to do and I was filled with a nervous energy. I became very aware of this energy and had a nudge from within to “let it go” and “focus on something else”. Listening, I decided to take a walk with all three of my children.

Halfway through my walk I felt relief and then an urge to play a game. I initiated what I will call the “color game” with my kids. I would pick a color and we would start looking around for the color and point it out to one another. We all had great fun and it turned into “I Spy” toward the end. All our spirits were lifted and I recognized that I not only had fun but that I had no more interest at all in the previous problem.

This example may seem like no big deal, but for me, it is. I usually do not initiate games nor do I have much fun in playing them.

time_joakim_kraemer_photography_Learning Lessons in Waking Life

It appears that the lessons I had been learning in OBEs have now shifted to physical reality. I have connected the two experiences and transferred the process into my waking life. I find the voiceless voice that guides me while OOB is guiding me in a similar way throughout my day. My perceptions are focused upon certain things quite suddenly and from within my core. It is almost like someone is saying, “Look here” or “Consider this”, but it is a feeling instead.

I find myself conversing with this part of me throughout the day and I am catching the conversations more and more. This is not the same as it once was where I would have conversations with my guide. It is more like when I am OOB, a kind of consciousness transfer, seamlessly enacted but being brought to the surface for observation and evaluation.

It is quite extraordinary.

How to Be Present in the Moment

I am being taught how to be present in the moment. It happens via the urge to change direction and focus and I do it without knowing I am doing it. When I find myself in the moment I am elated. Yet a part of me feels as if I have been “fooled”. I even one time told myself, “You’re quite clever. You know I resist if I feel forced to do something that is not my idea. So you make it my idea and I suspect nothing”.

The process is occurring more and more seamlessly now, but in the beginning it was a simple question put forth from within that propelled me into the present moment.

That question was simply: What if you look at this moment as if it had never happened, as if this were the first time you ever experienced it? What if you knew you would never again experience this moment? Imagine that.

This was the question/thought I had prior to the experience I had of looking at myself from outside myself. It was mind-blowing and life changing. I have gotten again and again and again.

And as I consider the questions even now, any ridged resistance to the moment melts away. I recognize that it is my Ego that sees these repetitive moments as drudgery because it has a past a present and a future. I have none of these things. I am eternal and timeless. I can experience anything brand new in any moment I choose.

And then there is joy, and the moment.

Other Lessons Learned

I also have seen how my Ego interferes with my purpose. My purpose is undeniable to me – I am here to help others. Currently I do this via counseling. I am seeing how my Ego makes problems, creates barriers and resistance. It forgets easily my purpose preferring to focus upon my physical representation (body) and perceived threats to it.

When I chose to look at the perceived threat from a coworker as an Ego resistance I saw it as it was and the resistance melted away. I was then left to pursue my calling and found joy in doing so. I also saw the reciprocity involved in my chosen path. That which I give to others, I also receive. The advice and lessons I provide as a counselor, I am also learning for myself. How better to learn them than to be a teacher of them. In this process I am both the teacher and the student. Ingenious!

Problem Solving Dream

I finally got some sleep last night! Unfortunately, I woke at 4:30am and then at 5am, before I could go back to sleep, my husband wanted to cuddle because he couldn’t sleep. So I have been up since 5am.

Dream: Problem Solving

Though I cannot recall most of my dreams I do recall one.

I was late for work and trying to find a parking place. I was driving my car from outside of it, like a kid would play with a toy car. When I got to the parking lot I noticed a coworker was also late. He was putting his car in a spot when I got there. Since I was distracted by him I almost crashed into a poll but was able to park my silver car. I mentioned to him that I was glad I was not the only one who was late. He said we were not late, that we had 9 minutes to spare.

The car symbolizes my life path and this body I am currently operating. The fact that I am outside of it is representative of my new position in regards to this body. I am no longer identifying myself as a body but as Spirit, separate from the body yet controlling a body. The number 9 is indicative of endings and also reminds me that my purpose and soul mission is to be of service to humanity.

The coworker, who was a teacher, asked me if I could help him. He took me to his classroom and introduced me to his four teenage children. They were all very close in age and there were three boys and a girl. I also recognized that this teacher taught Chemistry. The teacher then asked me to evaluate each of them because he was concerned about them. I agreed but in my mind I was trying to figure out how I would find time to fit them into my schedule.

Four represents responsibility and practicality, goals and drive. It is a reminder to move toward one’s goals. “Chemistry” symbolizes the ability to manipulate situations and change one’s Self. There is problem-solving going on in this aspect of the dream.

I took the kids with me as I left the classroom and went to my office. As we walked across campus there were these pathways that were just the width of a person’s two feet. They were green and rose up and then went down, similar to small roller coasters. One time I nearly fell as one rose up as I was walking on it.

We entered a building and I took them into a classroom that resembled a small music room. Inside was cramped and there was a gigantic megaphone the size of a table and silver in color.

The pathways indicate a particular path I am either taking or considering taking. Since they are green they are literally saying, “Follow your heart”. The megaphone indicates a need or desire to speak up.

I passed out the assessments and saw an old classmate of mine sitting alongside the four kids. I exclaimed, “What are you doing here?” The kids turned and looked and one asked, “Who?” My classmate vanished and I said, “He’s gone”. I thought to myself, “He must be dead” and was completely confused and a bit paranoid. I kept expecting him to appear again, but he did not.

To see something that is not there indicates that I may be over-reacting and this may be affecting my actions. It could also indicate that I am considering “killing” the situation, or putting an end to it.

The dream seems to end here but then I am in the classroom with the teacher and he is showing me a very, very thick book. It is sitting on the desk and he points it out to me. I see it and say, “Wow, that book is really thick”. I begin to feel a bit overwhelmed as if I have to study and take a lot of time to learn.

This part of the dream represents learning of a specific subject (path). That it is very thick and I feel overwhelmed suggests that I have much still to learn.

Reflection

This dream reflects exactly a current issue I have at work. The issues causes me to want to leave my job rather than confront the issue. A coworker of mine is telling me what to do and does not have the authority to do so. This has happened before and upset me and then the coworker asked for a meeting so he could tell me that he thought I was not doing enough. My supervisor believed him and since I was unprepared for the meeting I did not defend myself. I went to bed trying to decide how to approach this situation without burning bridges.