Daily Archives: October 16, 2014

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My Team

Some information from this morning’s OBE is slowly coming back to me as the day progresses. Specifically the conversation I had with my guide while I floated in darkness during my OBE. There was also an entire OBE that I forgot.

Messages

The first memory I had was of being told about how fleeting information given to an individual while OOB is. My guide specifically told me, “70% is lost” and the other 30% does not often make sense. Why would it if such a big chunk of it is missing?! I don’t remember even reacting to the information really but I did repeat it to myself several times which tells me I thought it important. I usually repeat information given to me by my guides or others in astral if I want to remember it. Sometimes I will say it several times, other times I have even written things down. It doesn’t always work. This time it did, but it was delayed.

Council OBE

There was also a sudden memory that hit me while I was browsing through the blogs I follow on WordPress. One of the blogs titles included the word “council”. As soon as I read it, I remembered that I had a meeting with mine. How could I have forgotten that?? Ah, that must have been part of the 70% I lost!

The specific memory I had was of sitting at a table that was very large. It was shiny mahogany and circular. I was sitting with a man, likely the same male guide I had been interacting with the entire night, but I could not see him. I just felt him. Across from us and very obviously separated from us, were four people. I saw each of them but it is hard nOvalMahoganyConfernceTLBow to remember what they looked like. I do remember it being bright and there being bright colors, specifically blue and yellow. Interestingly, as with many of my astral environments, this one had a very yellowish glow to it. It is as if someone replaced all the regular light bulbs in a room with yellow ones.

I remember being startled when I first became aware of where I was. I looked around and saw that the space resembled a conference room in an office similar to what one would see in the movies or on TV (it reminded me of the conference room in Mad Men actually!). Like I said, it was very bright and I recall thinking there must be windows but I didn’t see any.

Then I looked across the table and saw four well dressed men and women. I again do not recall them in detail but I do want to say that the men were wearing blue suits. I am certain my jaw dropped at seeing them. I looked down and saw that only a few feet separated myself and my guide from them, but it felt like the distance was much farther; like the table was massive and I was all the way over on the other end, tiny and insignificant.

As soon as I absorbed it all I exclaimed, “Is this my Council?”

My memory of the experience ends there. I am frustrated that it does because I have not met with my council like this. I have sensed them with my mind and spoken with one of them (I think), but I have never actually seen them all together. I also thought I had way more than 4, well actually 5 counting the guide at my side. I am pleased to not have a fearful feeling accompany the memory. I always thought I would feel like a school girl going to the principal’s office when I met my council.

My Team

Now that I think about it, the word council implies some kind of judgement is being given or that there is some higher authority involved, at least to me it does. I don’t like that. I prefer the term Team because it feels more accurate to me. Yet in the experience I had, I identified this group of people as my Council.

It is interesting to me how much I seem to know while OOB. I know names, faces, places, etc. Yet when I awaken and think back on the experience I have no clue who or what I seemed to have known then. It is the same with this experience. I seemed genuinely pleased to see them and, though I did at first sense separation and feel small, that feeling vanished when I recognized them. Now when I look back they all seem like strangers to me and their faces are blank or all muddled together. At least I know I met them. I suppose that is enough.

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Seven

So far this week has been pretty dull compared to last week. I am more irritable but not in a bad way. I am not surprised that I am falling below the wonderful plateau of temporary emotional stability I had last week. It is a common cycle in my life. I am grateful for experiencing the reprieve, though.

Deja Vu

Yesterday I had a very powerful deja vu experience. It happen like they usually do. I was at work and was called to help someone who had lost their brothers within months of each other. So my job was to listen and give assistance as needed. As I was listening and giving information about the five stages of grief everything suddenly seemed to brighten. At the same time it was as if the moment were in slow motion and everything I was experiencing was very familiar. I suspected deja vu and then looked at a bookcase and seeing it cemented the feeling. Definitely deja vu.

I have not had deja vu in a long time. Around the time of my spiritual awakening, probably in 2003 or thereabouts, I had deja vu quite frequently. Back then I was not use to it and at first I found it curious and then exciting. I had been told by others that it meant I was exactly where I was suppose to be. Eventually, though, the experiences were soon followed by a series of negative life events. So, since this time, I have begun to see deja vu experiences as warnings. I know it is not logical, but I cannot seem to help but worry when I have one. What if I end up having similar negative things happen after them?

With this specific deja vu, I remembered that I had been in that exact place and time, doing the exact thing I was doing – classic deja vu. The feeling with it was very dream-like as well and I wrought my brain trying to figure out when I had experienced this before. My conclusion was that I must have dreamed it, or at least the past experience was similar to that of a dream.

I am not certain that I will associate this deja vu with future negative happenings, but I will definitely be wary. Perhaps deja vu is a result of pre-life review – that time before we enter the body when we review particular events that we will struggle with. I also feel that these reviews are meant to trigger memories within us so that we are ready to do the right thing at the right moment. So, it makes complete sense that I would worry about what is to come after having deja vu.

Hidden Belief Revealed

This morning, after a pretty deep somewhat dreamless sleep, I woke up and felt one of my guides very close. I had just dreamed about thousands of old people. There had been a discussion about them. The old people were above the age of 70 for the most part, many of them deteriorating at a fast pace; their bodies not functioning properly and letting them down. The discussion focused on my opinions of old people. I made it very clear that they were more of a burden than anything and “got in the way” (my exact words). The person I was talking to was listening and then when this person did speak (they were neither male or female) they gave me a phone number that I repeated a couple of times, along with the number 7. My opinion about the elderly was questioned but I awoke before I could respond.

Upon waking I remembered my stance on the elderly and was at first shocked and then accepting of my opinion. I realized somewhere within me there is the belief that if one cannot contribute to society that they should no longer be supported by society. Where this belief comes from, I am not 100% certain, but it contributes to my present life issues, specifically family issues that I will not go into right now. I am fairly certain this belief of mine stems from a past life (or many). I know I had a life in Germany around the time of the holocaust but not during it. Perhaps it stems from that life?

I did not remember the phone number, despite saying it several times, but I did remember the number 7. I am not too familiar with the number 7 but from what I remember about it, 7 is the number of spirituality and developing and increasing one’s spiritual ability. The number 7 is a message from one’s guide that now is the perfect time to focus upon development of one’s spiritual ability, to seek answers and truth from within and encourages others to, also.

golden-dragon-scalesOBE or Something Else?

After accepting the dream conversation that revealed one of my hidden beliefs I felt very defeated. I disliked myself very much yet I knew the belief was mine and needed to be worked through. This was overwhelming to me, of course, as the very rejection of this belief creates difficulty in resolving it.

I could still feel my guide with me and I said to him, “I want to astral”. He nodded. I rolled over and closed my eyes.

The next thing I remember was awakening within a dark room. I could sense I was in my bed and that was all. I felt groggy and tired. Despite this, I pushed myself to exit my body and get past the groggy feeling. I felt heavy and cumbersome as I rolled to the side and sat up. I felt the disconnect from my body but it was sluggish. I just wanted to get out and away from the feeling!

After what seemed like forever, I disconnected from the heaviness of my body and began to float through the house I was in. It was not familiar and the lights were out. I could not see well but it was enough to make out shapes and objects in the room. I was in typical living area with a TV, sofa, tables, etc. I felt a presence with me. It was male and tall and not threatening. I recognized him to be my guide and acknowledged him. I then knew his name and said to him, “You are…” excitedly, but his name eludes me now. We talked but I do not know what we said now. It was mostly me recognizing him and his relationship to me. I also remember him saying to me, “This is you” and “I am you”.

I made my way to the other side of the room and stood in front of the door. A child was there, but I do not know who it was or if it was male or female. It appeared to be a small girl but I did not interact with her at all. I only recall a slight glow about her, but did not focus on it. I then stated out loud, “I want to see the light”.

I made my way to the door and intended to go through it but when I got to it I met resistance. Not deterred I willed my way through it and just popped out on the other side of the door.

I found myself outside but it was still dark. My surroundings felt more familiar here but I was still not sure where I was. I kept calling out, “I want to see the light” over and over. I did not initially intend to say this and the memory of setting the intention was hard to remember. I could not figure out the right words. Now in recalling this I know I meant to say, “I want to see my Higher Self” but for some reason I could not recall those words.

As I continued to say, “I want to see the light”, I felt myself being pulled upward toward the sky. At first I resisted, a bit worried I would end up in outer space which is not where I wanted to go, but I eventually allowed myself to be pulled up. When I did, there appeared before me row upon row of shimmering golden leaves outlined with light green. But when I focused upon them more the “leaves” appeared more to be gold leafed armor plating. My vision was bright and completely filled with the images of tiny, sparkling, golden leaves.

My movement upward began to accelerate and I got uneasy. This, of course, blacked out my vision. I wish I could just go with it and not resist! Anyway,  when this happened I did not want to wake up so I calmed myself down and let myself just float in the blackness. I stopped moving upward but did not go back into my body. I just floated in darkness. At this time is when my guide began to speak and I just floated in darkness while we talked.

He explained to me that what I was experiencing was all a result of me. I was creating it. I cannot remember his exact words now but the message was clear: this was all my creation; my reality. Why was he telling me this again? He also told me that of the information I remembered or received while OOB, I would lose 70%. His exact words were, “70% is lost”. I don’t remember the rest of what he said, but I guess with a 70% loss that is about right.

When we were done talking, I realized my eyes had been closed. I slowly peeked out and light came shining through and I vividly saw the outside. The light shown through my eyelids very brightly and caused me to awaken. I opened my eyes and the memory of my conversation with my guide hit me. I focused on remembering the experience and then willed myself back to it.

I was back outside in darkness with limited vision. I saw an animal pen of some kind with a dog inside. There was also the shadow of a man on the other side of it. At the same time I felt the warm fur of a dog next to me and recognized my Trooper was with me. I reached down and petted him. It did not register with me to question what dog was inside the pen, though. I wanted instead to find out who the man was. I should have been afraid but I wasn’t as I flew toward the tall, shadowy figure and called out to him, “Hey!” I flew up and over the pen to come down to the other side where the man was but when I looked down he was gone.

I awoke and was not in a good mood. It was irritating to me that my vision was so poor and the conversation with my guide had me wondering if my experience was just a very vivid, lucid dream and that I was not really leaving my body at all. He did say that everything around me was created by me so that must mean that I am just dreaming. The thought made me question all my experiences. It felt like I was out of my body, but if I was OOB, where was I going? To my own created world? If so, what was the fun of that? The disappointment created by this possibility made me disinterested in any more such experiences. I lay in bed, disappointed, as hypnagogic images flashed through my mind. They kept distracting me and when I focused on them they would vanish. I knew I should ignore them and that if I did I would consciously exit my body. But I didn’t want to. I was too let down by the message that it was all my creation and that I was likely just in some kind of self-simulated realty. I want more than that.