Yesterday was a day of healing for me. I started by using my pendulum to double check my intuition that said that more than just the second chakra was blocked. I discovered that my second and crown chakras were completely blocked and my root, third and fourth chakras partially blocked. My third chakra was blocked initially but within seconds the crystal of the pendulum encouraged it to open. The same occurred with the root. My heart chakra was open right off but was sluggish, suggesting the energy there was in the process of clearing. I was not surprised that my throat and third eye were open but it did surprise me just how wide open my third eye was. The pendulum flew in a clockwise direction so wide that it could not go any wider. This told me that my third eye was too open.

I was able to open my crown chakra very quickly. I rubbed some Frankincense into the top of my head, sat cross legged and chanted Nng while visualizing it opening. After doing this for just a few minutes I stopped and focused on my second chakra. I put Citrus Bliss oil on my sacral plexus, chanted Vam and visualized it opening. While I was doing this, I felt an intense energy in my crown and knew it had opened and my efforts were successful. Unfortunately, my second chakra was not budging no matter how much I visualized and chanted.

I spent most of the afternoon working on my blocked second chakra – doing yoga, chanting the mantra and meditating to encourage it to open. I never was able to feel the energy move despite my best efforts. However my efforts were not totally wasted. Around 7pm CST, when my husband left with all three of my children in tow, I finally had the house to myself. I felt restless and kept walking around in a circle in the kitchen thinking again about the mantras I had been chanting and feeling there was something I was missing. I tried putting a tone with each mantra, singing up the scale like I use to do when I was a music student in college. Something about feeling the sound vibrate in my throat made me think I should sing so I began to sing an old hymnal I use to sing growing up in church. It is called, As the Deer and I always loved singing that song.

Almost as soon as I started singing emotion began to well up from within me and I got so choked up that I could not get the words to come out. My mind was flooded with memories, images of me singing in church with my family and hearing the harmony flood my ears and heart as I sang. The same feeling filled my heart and it seemed as if my family in Spirit surrounded me with love. You can imagine how overwhelmed I felt at this and many times had to stop walking and hold onto something.

I continued to sing because I knew, the only way out was through. It was obvious to me that my blocked chakras were opening and that this was a necessary part of the clearing process.

One by one, memories came to me. Times in my life when I did things I enjoyed. Singing was first, followed by fishing, gardening, sewing, painting, etc. And one by one I remembered how each of those things I stopped doing for one reason or another. Always there was an excuse that kept me from doing them. I stopped singing because I couldn’t be the best at it and if I wasn’t going to be the best, what was the point? Fishing because I had grown up and moved away and it was always inconvenient to do. Gardening because I now had three children and no garden and it would be too hard so why bother? Sewing again because I had three children and painting as well. With each lost pleasure I listened to the excuses and ignored my heart.

I realized that I had taken from myself everything that I enjoyed in life. No wonder I was not enjoying life.

I did it. I did it all to myself and trapped myself, backed myself into this corner of misery.

This realization stopped me in my tracks and I knew that this was just the tip of the iceberg. The second chakra is about pleasure; enjoyment of life. There were/are so many things in life that brought/bring me pleasure. It is so simple really the solution – start doing them again. Stop listening to the excuses and just do them. Once the decision is made the uncomfortableness at pushing past what has always been done will break apart and what will be left simple enjoyment of life.

After over an hour of memories followed by emotional outpouring followed by more memories and emotion, I was finally spent. And I felt better.

Last Night’s Work

After a thorough session of self-healing and more chakra balancing, I fell asleep quite quickly still propped upright in the midst of meditating. I awoke from a dream of traveling across the ocean to an island.

AirShip

The vehicle in which I traveled across the ocean was immense. It was more than an airplane, it was an airship. Inside were hundreds, maybe thousands of people and I was very aware of twin girls who carried with them their blood in vials connected by plastic. I was aware also that this blood carried their DNA. There was a conflict here and I avoided the twins for some reason but cannot remember why. One kept staring at me holding her blood in her hands.

The main memory I have of this dream is that my ex brought back food from a farmer’s market. He put in front of me a bunch of bananas and a strange orange fruit that was long like a sweet potato. He asked me if I wanted some of the banana (but he didn’t call it that). He opened it up to reveal the flesh and it was unlike any banana flesh I had ever seen. Inside it was splashed with orange and my ex told me it was a powerful hallucinogenic. He ate it and said it tasted like dirt (lol) and then offered me some. I refused because I researched it and it said it made one’s heart rate speed up to 150 and I didn’t want that. I chose instead to eat the other fruit which tasted good and sweet.

The symbolism here is not lost to me. I keep dreaming of twins and the meaning of them is usually that they are my conscious and sub-conscious. Since there is conflict here, I am likely struggling with accepting the subconscious aspect. The blood is representative of life, love and passion. The fruit I ate is symbolic of my work on the second chakra and since I ate it I am open to the work that needs to be done to open it.

Healing

I awoke from this dream feeling huge amounts of energy coming in through my crown chakra and seeming to exit my root chakra. My head felt wide open, too, my third eye buzzing and filling my eyes, nose and cheeks. I lay there unable to return to sleep and finally lay on my back. I then began to notice my second chakra was also activated and I had a slight discomfort there but nothing major.

I fell back to sleep despite the energy and dreamed of working with other spiritually talented individuals in a type of commune or something. I walked to a high fence where four women were seeking entrance. I looked for the gate to let them in and discovered that I was mistaken about the gate as it had been removed and not been there for some time. I invited the women in and asked them who they had an appointment with. One girl pointed at me and another mentioned a man’s name. I walked them inside and then woke, knowing what the message was: my spiritual gifts had never left me, the “fence” was built by me and the gate had never been there – it had always been open.