Monthly Archives: February 2015

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Reality?

Yesterday in one of those rare moments to myself, I suddenly was hit with a pang of fear in my heart. It made an energy hole in my chest that seemed to go straight through me. With it came the thought, “I am not taking this (ascension) seriously.” Then I laughed at myself. I am the most serious person I know and I am not taking something serious?

This whole ascension process, the transformation of the Earth, the shift in consciousness – I have not been really thinking about it or considering the immense change it involves. I hear the messages, I have the experiences, but somehow I am taking it all in stride. Putting it “on the shelf” for later much like I do any information that I cannot prove or seems unlikely or unreal to me.

Yet at that moment I was completely aware of just how important and catastrophic this transformation can be/is/will be. I mean really, think about it. There are higher beings speaking to me, to others like me. I am going through the oddest energy fluctuations most of which I cannot even describe. I know things, see things, do things that are beyond comprehension to most. This has been my life since 2003. It has become my “norm”, but it is not normal. And what is even more insanely odd about it is I am not alone in this experience anymore; this transformation. It is increasing in frequency. It is real. And eventually it will be real for everyone.

I was being asked to take this change, this ascension process, seriously. It is not a joke. It is not a dream. It is easy to pretend it is all a dream as life continues on as if nothing has changed.

I am noticing the sheer numbers of people online who are new to this transformation. They are struggling. What will happen to the children? What will happen when the tipping point is reached? When more than half the world is “awake” and ascending?

I privately hope I am not here. I cringe to think of the chaos. Perhaps that is why I felt so much fear.

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Critique

My husband told me today that he didn’t read my posts because they were “too long”. So I did some research and found that the ideal length for a blog post was 500 words or less. Most of mine are 1,000+ words.

Do you think my posts are too long? I would love to hear what you all think. I don’t know unless someone tells me.

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Emotional Objectivity

I had difficulty sleeping last night. I kept waking up and then slept very lightly.

Grandmother’s Funeral

I had another vivid dream about my grandmother. This time we were all in her house and her casket was in the middle of the room. I remember calculating the time it had been since December, when she died (which is not true, she died in May). I counted seven months which means it was July, 2015.

The most vivid part of the dream was going into the room where the casket had been and seeing all the boxes and things piled up. I was talking to my mom, the whole time breathing through my mouth as I knew the body had been there some time. I asked her, “Does it smell?” She said, “No”. So I breathed though my nose and it was fine. The closer I got to the place where the casket had been, the more I began to smell the smell of rotting flesh. I commented on it and my Mom said, “It does not smell!” very obviously irritated. The smell was very real to me and I can still smell it! Gross!

Then I was sorting through a freezer and my grandmother was there. I remember seeing her and thinking it odd that she was there but that it was as it should be since it was her stuff.

I awoke suddenly to hypnagogic imagery and buzzing energy all over my body. In the imagery I saw trees, a garden, pathways. But soon just fell asleep only to wake several more times and get very little sleep.

Emotional Objectivity

Although I do not recall my other dreams, I do recall what was being worked on. I awoke feeling unable to accomplish the goal which was emotional balance and objectivity. Basically, I was being taught how to have emotion without being the effect of the emotion. I was stating very firmly my opinion that doing this would be an injustice to my life experience. Emotional up’s and down’s are what make life interesting and fun, right? However, I know that I will not proceed to the next level without mastering emotional objectivity. It seems so impossible!

It is okay to have emotion but it is not okay to let your emotion control your experiences. As a life experiencer, we choose to come to Earth to master life and one of the biggest challenges is emotional objectivity. While out of the body we have no problem doing this but while in it, well we often get caught up in our emotion. I was being taught last night how to better control my emotional reactions. I can do it if I try hard, but it is one of those things that takes lots of effort in the beginning and it is so much easier to fall back into old habits. I am trying, though.

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Cassiopeia

I was awakened from a particularly odd and intensely vivid experience last night. I was semi-lucid to lucid during the experience, which made it that much more intense, but I do not recall the sensation of leaving the body.

Cassiopeia

When I first became aware of being in this dream experience, I was with a guide who I could not see but could hear clearly. The guide felt male to me and was asking a female who was with me to point out her star in the sky. She pointed upward and the entire scene shifted in a circular motion, as if we were rotated in some way. Above us the entire night sky opened up and a bright star was located, focused upon and then magnified. I got extremely excited at this time but do not recall what we talked about regarding this star. I knew it represented a planet, though, as the image when magnified was of a planet and not a star. I do not remember now what the planet looked like.

The male guide who was with us then asked me, “Where is your star?” I eagerly pointed to the opposite side of the woman’s star. It was low on the horizon and very bright. “There”, I said.

Again, the entire scene around us shifted with us in it. I felt to be in some kind of circular craft or ship but could not identify it as such. However, I could see the massive image of a planet behind me. I assumed it to be Earth as it was full of blues and greens like Earth. It was just behind me in my peripheral vision and I knew then that I was not on this planet but above it actually in the night sky!

I focused on the night sky and saw my star/planet. I was very happy that we were focusing upon it. As I watched, the planet became magnified to the point that I was actually standing on it. The woman who was with me was now gone and it was just me and this being/guide. I say being because at this point he felt foreign to me and very, very intelligent and wise beyond anything I have felt from my other guides.

I found myself standing upon a blue, spongy ground that appeared to be in layers. Looking at it from above, it appeared like feathers layered upon feathers of blue.The blue was vibrant and bold and I thought nothing of it being there. It was as it should be.

I was extremely excited at this point, looking upward at the night sky from my position on the blue spongy ground. I could see platforms of similar blue material above me and asked permission to “fly/jump” up to these platforms. I got the go-ahead to explore from my guide who seemed to enjoy watching my excitement. There was a paternal feeling coming from him and I felt very much like a child embarking on an adventure of learning.

I was hesitant at first about whether I could make it to the first platform. It was oval and loomed about twenty feet above me. I could see other platforms above and to the side. They seemed almost like a staircase leading up. I saw nothing but black void above so it is no surprise that I was intimidated.

I jumped up but failed to make it the first time. I got encouragement form my guide so tried again. This time I made it.

The next thing I knew I was in a city that appeared very modern but it is a city without walls. The rooms and buildings (not sure what to call them) were divided by low walls that were short enough to step over. I went directly to a seat near one of the low dividers and sat down. I remember someone talking to me then, a female who I could not see but who was on the same level as me and was my “friend”. We were talking about eating and I saw spread out next to me food in a display waiting to be eaten. I don’t remember exactly what the food was but in my mind I saw it as “dessert”. I recall taking a bite and being encouraged to eat more by my friend who was thrilled that I was there. I told her, “I am saving it for later” and said something about it being “mine” and always being there and available to me.

My consciousness got the better of me at this point and I pulled myself out of the “dream” and into the “in-between” state. I stayed there in the void for some time talking to the guide who had shown me this mysterious planet of blue. I could see clearly in my mind a vision of the planet I had been hovering over prior to visiting the blue place. I had thought it was Earth but it did not appear as Earth. It was too large and the land masses were not the same. Plus it had odd cloud formations that swirled and had a golden coloring in them. I blinked to get a better look and the image did not falter. I wondered silently, “Where am I?

To my surprise I got a clear answer, “Cassiopeia”. I repeated it, “Cassiopeia” and heard myself corrected with, “CassiopEIa” (emphasis on the long E sound).

I felt true admiration for the name and the planet at this point and kept repeating the name so I would not forget. In the midst of my repeating I heard, “We are here”. This threw me and I began to have my alien considerations and so began to reject that any of the experience was real. I was instantly calmed and remembered then that my origins prior to Earth were likely alien and so relaxed. I did not completely reject the possibility but was not receptive to further communication.

When I opened my eyes I heard a final message, “Expect change”.

Space Traveling

I spent the rest of the morning in dreams that are hard to recall. I do, however, remember flying through space with my guide at one point being taught about different planets. I know I was on the moon of one of them being shown a planet. I wish I could remember more of what I saw and experienced but I must have been too curious and so was only allowed to recall some of it.

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Be Aware

Last night was full of intense dreams.

Grandmother

In this dream I was with someone and we were walking through a parking lot looking at what appeared to be a water tower. I was being instructed on how to move the water in order to put our fires. I remember only that the water tower was one of those old metal ones that an individual might keep on a farm.

Then I saw my grandmother walk by and exclaimed, “Did you see that! It was Nanny!”. She appeared younger than when she passed, probably around my age instead of 89. Her hair was short and dark brown and she just walked by without looking at me.

Later, I was sorting through some things for my grandmother. I was in the “bunk house” and sitting on the floor. I was putting tiny bits of food into bags. Someone was saying to me, “Nanny is here”. I replied, “Nanny is dead, she can’t be here”. They continued to say it and I continued to sort the food until finally I took note and thought, “Nanny is here?”

The next thing I remember is sitting in my mother’s living room in her leather recliner. My grandmother was there with me and talking to me. She appeared different than normal, though. Her face was older but her body was that of a small child.

She came up and hugged me and I let her. But she smelled odd. Sweet and sickly. I didn’t like the smell. She smelled like the old people at a rest home. She smelled like death. I remember shying away from her bare skin but allowing her to hug me. I felt repulsed by her, but I loved her.

She curled up into a fetal position and I felt helpless and wanted to run away. She looked up at me and said, “Please don’t let me suffer. Please don’t let me suffer”. I jumped up with her in my arms and gave her to my mom who was sitting on the sofa next to me. I placed her curled up child body in my mother’s arms. My grandmother’s body began to look a lot like my middle son. He/she said, “Please don’t let me suffer”. I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt at the sight of seeing her/him and was overcome with grief.

I awoke in tears.

Reflection

I awoke and could not stop the tears. I understood what we had been discussing in the dream. I began to avoid my grandmother as she got older. I felt uncomfortable around her. I could sense death coming to her. I could smell it. The whole house smelled like it. Towards the end I forced myself to visit her so she could meet her latest great-grand son. He was already a month old when I finally went. I let her hold him and took a picture. I felt like running out of there as fast as I could. I always felt like that when I visited her toward the end.

When my grandmother was in hospice, I took my entire family to visit and we sat around and sang hymnals to her. She opened her eyes when I said hello to her and stared at me for some time. Her pupils were small and fixed. My mom said she likely couldn’t even see me.

I watched as my mom moistened my grandmother’s lips with glycerin. The hospice would not give my grandmother any water or food. My mom was torn up over this. She did not know this is what hospice did. She did not think she would have to sit by and watch her mother starve/dehydrate to death. I felt wretched inside. I was willing my grandmother to go, to be at peace.

I wasn’t there when my grandmother passed away a day later. I knew when it happened, though, and I felt such relief. My grandmother was finally out of her prison.

The next week my grandmother visited me often as I drove to work and throughout the day. She was around me for about a week straight. I told no one in my family. She was happy and full of energy, so unlike the woman I knew in life. I knew had I known her when she was younger that we would have had great fun together. She was adventurous and mischievous in youth. Oh how life had changed her!

Then I remembered the article I read about measles. There was a personal account by a woman in her 90’s who lost her 6 year old son to the illness. There was a picture. He looked just like my middle son. I broke down into tears at the thought of losing my son. I believe that is why the dream showed my son in the end. I so fear losing him.

I recognized my fear of what death does to the physical form. The smell. The decay. The void that follows a loved one’s departure from life. Illness and old age show no mercy. It is so difficult to confront that in life. I hate that I avoided my grandmother because of it. The guilt was present in my dream. I believe she was there helping me as part of her revitalization and as part of my healing. I mentally sent her a thank you and an I love you.

Message

I fell back to sleep and had dreams about work which I will not go into. When I finally awoke my husband would not let me return to sleep. I ended up dozing in the “in-between” state until I finally got up.

During this time I saw a very clear vision. In front of me was a simple, silver, metal lunch box. It had raised lettering that said, “Be Aware” on the top. Below those words it said, “Change Ahead”. At first I read ‘Beware” but I felt my attention drawn back to the top words and saw it was, “Be Aware”. I was corrected in order to see the correct message.

Be aware: Change ahead.

When I questioned what “change” this was, the answer I was given was a visual of my chakras from bottom to top.

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This is It

Since Monday I have been sensing a distinct change in the energy of Earth. As  a result my own energy has been affected.

Yesterday the energy seemed to “peak”. I felt this peak the most pronounced at around 4pm. I had the urge to go outside for a walk and took my children to the playground. While there, I walked around and around the playground, feeling my feet sink in the deep gravel. Today they felt even more comforting to me. It was like I was seeking a union with the Earth.

The sky was the most intense blue and clear of clouds. The temperature was in the mid 60’s and a little brisk but I enjoyed feeling it on my bare arms. I sat and stared at one of the large trees next to the playground. I became interested in getting up close and personal with it. So I went up and hugged one of its bare branches and looked up through its many leafless boughs into the blue sky. The contrast of color was distinct and breathtaking. I wanted to take a picture but I knew it wouldn’t do it justice.

Oddly, I felt inclined to smell it. I took a deep breath but hardly smelled anything. I tried again and was able to get a whiff of the faintest woody smell. I smiled and hugged the tree some more. It felt so solid and strong and I had a flash of childhood, climbing up high in the branches of a similar tree.

I spent another ten minutes or so just inspecting the tree’s bark. It had green lichen growing on it which for some reason fascinated me. There were also colors in the bark I had not noticed before: dark gray, white, light gray, and browns of varying shades. I lightly let my fingers flow over the bark, feeling each of the crevices and grooves. What a miracle!

Finally, I just stood holding onto the tree and feeling my feet on the green grass. I swear I could feel the energy of everything at that moment – the tree, the sky, the grass, the dirt, the pebbles – everything! I remember thinking, “This is just like astral. It is the same. There is no difference. It is all real”.

And I realized what I have been missing right here in this reality. This. This IS IT. And when I go to other realities it is the same. I miss so much detail. So much life. It is all around me and I walk right by without thinking to look; to see.

It is true: We can see our reflection in everything. One is the other.

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Benign

I just got a call from my dermatologist’s office. I was told the biopsy result. She called it a “benign irritated seborrheaic keratosis”. She congratulated me and hung up. When I looked up the term I learned it is basically an irritated mole.

I texted my husband and he sent back, “What???” I laughed because I had no idea what it was either until I looked it up. It basically is just a mole that somehow got irritated. Considering how dry my skin had been (it is no longer that way) I am not surprised. I am still wondering where the mole came from in the first place. There wasn’t one there before. It just appeared out of nowhere.

In my research I found that these moles are linked to a metabolic disorder known as Syndrome X. Curious, I read more about it. My mother and sister fit the description almost perfectly! Me, not really. The only thing I have – well had – was overly dry skin. However, it is clear that I am a likely candidate for such a disorder based upon my genetics and past bad eating habits. I wonder if anyone in my family has this condition?

Ascension After All?

So now I am again thinking my physical issues may have in fact been ascension related. Most of my complaints are gone now. This temporariness is characteristic of ascension symptoms. They come on suddenly and then leave just as suddenly. They may stick around for a while (hours to days to a few weeks), making you paranoid that you are seriously ill, but they go away just the same.

Since my last symptoms list I have lost the following symptoms (they vanished):

  • Dry skin
  • Headaches
  • Extreme thirst
  • Extreme hunger especially at night
  • Deep sleep
  • Eczema/rash/mole/skin sensitivity
  • Sexual dysfunction/disinterest

My current symptom list:

  • Lower back ache
  • Upper back tightness
  • Sweating
  • OBE’s and lucid dreams
  • Direct guide communication while OBE or in lucid dream
  • Vision issues at night where image stops and seems to “jump”
  • People starring at me for no reason
  • Energy sensations/buzzing
  • Ringing in ears on and off
  • Trapped/built up energy in chakras resulting in intense need to ground energy
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The Daisy Room

I had that odd kind of sleep where in the midst of a dream I would suddenly wonder, “Do I have to work today? What day is it?” I would then slowly wake up out of my slumber trying to figure out what day it was and if I needed to get up early. Then I would fall back to sleep only to once again wake up within a dream from these thoughts.

I finally got up to check the time and found it was 5am. Being it was my third time to wake, I decided to try to sleep.

Snowmobile Ride

I found myself in a semi-lucid dream in which I kept trying to take over the dream. I was with my ex-husband and he was getting out a snowmobile to take me and my children in. I got in but was not excited. I held on and closed my eyes preparing for the crazy ride.

I felt myself being tossed about as we rode and then felt the snowmobile spinning really fast. I decided to open my eyes and was able to keep my baby from being tossed from the snowmobile.

At some point I became fully lucid and felt a large man in front of me. I thought it was my ex but when I opened my astral eyes to look his face was all golden light, morphing and moving. His energy was huge and surrounded me. I was not afraid, though.

I felt my root chakra activating and expanding and focused upon the feeling, willing it to move upward.

The Daisy Room

As I was trying to get the feeling to expand, I suddenly found myself standing in a store. It looked like one of those tourist shops one would find in an airport. A blonde woman was standing in front of me and chattering away. She had a golden hue about her, a huge smile on her face and was very beautiful. She was looking right at me and I was very, very aware of my surroundings and what was going on. This awareness caught me off guard and I stopped thinking about expanding the pleasant energy.

I heard her telling me that I was going to go to a place. I didn’t quite hear her well enough so I asked her, “What? Where am I going?” She replied, “You are going to the Daisy Room”. I wondered what she was talking about. What Daisy Room? What is the Daisy Room?

The woman then appeared to be talking to someone on a cell phone but I saw no phone in her hand. She said to them, “There was a scheduling error. Monday and Tuesday were wrong. She needs to…..”

I became overly aware at this time of the energy in my root expanding more and came out of the scene to full awareness in my body.

celestiaCelestia

When I awoke I immediately thought of the picture that was drawn of one of my female guides. A friend of mine had an artist do a rendering of this guide. The picture was entitled, “Celestia”, which I guess was the name given to the artist by my guide. When I saw the picture it was familiar to me and I thought of all the times I had seen a blonde woman with blonde hair cut in layers like from the 80s. She always reminded me of Jane Fonda. The woman I had just seen reminded me of her as well. Was this the same guide?

This is what was written with the drawing of my guide:

Celestia – angel of sunrise – indicates the vastness of my spiritual gifts

Brilliant energy patterns (like aurora borealis) on wings, gown – ever-changing.

Brings great strength and depth of spiritual gifts. Softness. Gentle soul.

9 crystals at throat are representative of dimensions from which info comes through (throat chakra needs empowered).

Figures around head represent souls crossed over who speak with messages of love and forgiveness.

Red “fire flames” are ascended master souls (who speak through Dayna).

Aura is fiery vibrant orange and gives power and passion.

Message Celestia brings:

To move forward face the energy. Let it swirl around you and caress you. The power of spirit is there, the power of love is there, the power of connection is there.

There is a great need to de-stress, as if standing on a mountain top and allowing wind to blow stress away.

Celestia wishes to encourage Dayna to embrace who she really is and “go higher”.

Expect children to have similar gifts!

I find it interesting the in this morning’s experience with the blonde woman that she told me I would be going to the Daisy Room. Daisy’s are symbolic of purity and innocence. It is a flower that opens up its petals in the early morning light and then closes them when the sun sets. It is the flower of Spring time and new beginnings. It’s petals also represent the rays of the sun. So, I don’t think it a coincidence that Celestia is called the “angel of sunrise” in the message attached to the drawing.

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Abandoned Buses

I finished reading my journal last night. I read many, many entries in which my guide/Higher Self makes it clear to me why I astral project and what I am learning about myself. One of the lessons I learned was to love myself, specifically to love being WITH myself and stop seeking out another to make me whole. Another lesson was how to manifest what I wanted in life. I did both and more the following year – that year I built my house, met my current husband, got married, and got pregnant with my first child.

When I went to bed I felt I had accomplished a great deal from 2003-2007. I am proud of myself! I decided to set the intention to use future astral projections as I had been instructed time after time in my journal – to learn about myself, to heal and to help others.

Abandoned Buses

I woke up early this morning and then tried to return to sleep. I felt wonderful, so this was hard. I finally dozed off and found myself lucid laying in my bed listening to a group of people talking. I was aware that they were sitting on the bed next to me. The scene was shifting and colored with gray and white. It was like watching an old black and white television show.

I instantly knew I was “in-between” (which I now understand to be one of the lower levels of the etheric). I closed my eyes and mentally stated, “I want to astral”. As soon as I said this, I felt the subtle vibrations wash over me and then intensify in the center of my body. I knew the timing was right and I willed myself out of my body.

I immediately floated upward slightly and knew that the “people” who had just been around me talking would be gone. When I looked around, they were, of course, gone. I saw that I was in my room, the messed up covers of the bed below/next to me, and my vision was bright and clear. The room had a golden-yellow glow that seemed to radiate a soft warmth. The overall energy was nice.

I moved into the upstairs living room and paused. I remembered my decision to let my Higher Self guide me through my OBEs from now on. So I tuned into this part of me and asked, “What do you want me to do?” I heard a nearly undetectable reply, “I want you to see yourself”. I replied, “Ok”. I didn’t ask how because as soon as I wondered about it I felt I needed to pay attention to what I saw and experienced in this projection.

I leaned over the railings of the upstairs and looked down below me at the downstairs living area. I saw toys strewn all over the floor! It looked like a messed up jigsaw puzzle of toys! They were very brightly colored, too. I saw them, took note of them and knew that in waking life this mess would have made me unsettled. I decided not to let them bother me while in astral and jumped over the railings to go down stairs.

I felt my energy was low and so stated, “More energy”. The energy settled and seemed to solidify and I drifted down to the floor. I instantly went toward the kitchen to the double doors that lead outside. I don’t even recall being IN the kitchen, though. It seemed I instantly just appeared outside the house.

I do recall going through the two doors because they seemed so white and opened up by themselves. I knew as I went through them that they would lead me somewhere else, somewhere that was not my back yard.

I instantly saw green grass and as I moved along it I topped a hill. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a yellow school bus parked to my right. When I saw it I felt I should investigate but I was not interested and immediately chose to explore the hill. Over the top of the hill was this magnificent valley that stretched for miles and miles. It was vividly green with triangular shaped stones that looked like mini mountain tops scattered all across it. The sky above was blue, pink, white and yellow and reminded me of a sunrise. At first I thought they were mountains but upon further inspection they were actually small stones and the scene appeared similar to scenes I’ve seen in movies of Scotland.

Greyhound_bus_on_the_way_to_Washington-2I looked around and saw that there was a small pond that was dotted with mounds of earth as if it was low on water. I went to investigate it. I attempted to fly and found it difficult so I said, “More energy” and was able to lift up enough to fly down. When I got to the pond I saw a Greyhound bus parked seemingly IN the pond. I ignored it but did not miss the fact that it was there. I just wasn’t interested in the bus for some reason.

I got to the pond and immediately got into the water. The water was muddy and stagnant but I didn’t care. Then I took handfuls of the gritty water and washed my face with it. I could feel the sand and grit on my face and I smiled and put more on my face. I remember thinking, “Why am I doing this?” and then thinking, “Because I want to”. I tried not to over analyze it but in hindsight believe there is significance to everything in this experience.

I got up out of the water and looked up the hill. I could see a cabin hidden behind the trees and make out a parking lot and a woman walking toward the cabin. She was somewhat overweight and reminded me of the woman I saw in my OBE two days ago. I then looked toward the cabin and saw a shower out in the open. It was one of those really high tech spa showers with jets that hit your body at the top and middle. The chrome of the jets shown vividly as did the teak wood of the shower itself.

I got this ominous feeling and tried to control it. I don’t know where it came from but it hit me when I considered going up and talking to the woman. I recognized there was fear there and since it made no sense it threw me enough that I was pulled back to my body.

I again ran into a rocky reentry but it wasn’t as bad as last time. My heart was pounding again but settled down faster and I was able to move without any problem.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 10pm

Time to wake: 5:30am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: Yes

Mood: normal

Body: Lower back and pelvic area aching

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 1

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: Left side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Vitamin E 400mg, Evening Primrose Oil 1300mg

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2005

I have been reading my journal and am currently in 2005. All I can say is WOW what a crazy, eventful year!

Below you will find my experiences in timeline fashion. The experiences are color coded. Blue is astral projection/OBE, green is a guide encounter experience, red is kundalini. Black is for either ideas/concepts or for experiences that I do not know how to categorize.

January, 2005

29th – While wide awake I heard a voice singing in a foreign language in my head. When I focused on it, I could understand the words. It said:

As the sun turns a deep blood red,

And rivers rise high and flood the land,

The Earth as we know it will begin to fall,

And tears of sorrow you’ll understand.

February, 2005

7th – Astral. Consciously just “walked” out of my body. Heard velcro sound upon exit. I had a teacher who was showing me how to exit when this happened. I asked him “Can I go through the door?” He said, “No”. So I reached out and it was solid so I had to open it. Then I wanted to go outside to my car. I began to think my way there and started spinning real fast. I heard, “No!” and got pulled down. I fell to the floor on my rear. I could feel the cold floor and then became aware of being in two places at once – my bed and on the floor. I could feel my heart pounding in my physical body like I went for a run but I was not in my body, I was sitting by the front door on the floor. I went back to my body and my heart was pounding.

Later discussion with my teacher revealed he was from the Pleiades, He had almost transparent skin and appeared to have webbing between his fingers. There was mention of “Aquatica” and him researching Earth and Earth consciousness. He also warned me about the stress astral projection puts on the physical body.

13th – I was told about the three levels of ascension: transformation of mind, transformation and completion of physical structure and transformation and attainment of spiritual truth (purpose).

March, 2005 – Only lucid dreams this month.

April, 2005

2nd – Guided out of my body by a male guide. Was told to “let go” and when I did I felt free of my body and heard a roaring noise in my ears. I was reminded to “stay focused” several times because I would get overly excited and almost pop back into my body. I couldn’t see but I felt my body moving very, very fast like on a roller coaster. When I did see all I saw was my alarm clock showing 8am and then the numbers started moving forward very fast. I threw open my arms and felt a hand and then grabbed on. I was thrown into a man. I heard a quiet, masculine voice say, “Quite a fine sense you have. The more and more (I finished his sentence) you see, the more and more you will believe. Trust them to know what they see”. He had a U.K. accent and I was about to ask his name but came back into my body.

16th – Spontaneous past life recollection. I relived an incident where I was a little girl of 12 years being gang raped by a bunch of white men (I was a black slave). They held a board over my throat so I couldn’t yell and beat me up pretty badly. I crawled home and was taken care of by my family.

May, 2005

16th – Couldn’t go to sleep after waking up. Heard my guide say, “Go back to sleep”. Closed my eyes and was hit with instant vibrations that were intense over the top of my head and eyes. A picture appears in front of me and I walked into it without even thinking. I came out into a night sky flying and singing. Flew over houses and went into mobile home. Interacted with Hispanic family and then left because it was heavy energy. I climbed into a bed and went to “sleep” and then felt a man. I looked at him and said, “Nick!” He told me, “We were brother and sister in one life – I am Nick you are Grace”. Then I went to a hospital helping sick by giving them energy. I worked with a mother, Barbara, who was having a baby and stayed with her until the baby was born. I then flew by some waterfalls and then saw Nick again and we hugged and talked. I woke up and then when I closed my eyes a screen appeared and I knew I could easily walk through it. I chose to stay. This astral was about 3 hours total length.

19th – Experience of being in two places as I was staring at a TV. screen but not really watching the movie. I felt sucked into the TV. and felt transported to another place. I came back suddenly and with some fear.

25th – Had another experience where I was driving home, feeling very down and wishing I could leave life. I had a very strong pull come from within me that steered the car towards the edge of a bridge I was driving over. I panicked, not sure where this sudden overtaking of my body was. I struggled but managed to keep the car on the road.

June, 2005

3rd – Reading the book Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce. He talks about the trance state and I am convinced that I have been going into trance frequently and this may be the cause for the bridge episode.

5th – Astral experiences detailed here (not going to write them out). Noted that I am not in real-time but most often in astral.

7th – More astral experiences. Learning how to stay in astral and manipulate objects/speed/location.

energyhealingJuly, 2005

2nd – 1st astral: Entered trance state easily. Saw hypnagogic images, heard buzzing in my ears and a loud WHOOSH sound and I exited my body. Walked through objects easily and enjoyed feeling myself become the objects. I found myself watching a map of the universe and then focused in upon Earth. I saw military operations in the desert. I saw a train carrying a helicopter and war machinery and the terrain was very barren with rocks and boulders. I asked to not be shown these things and so focused upon my body, purposefully moving it to come out of astral.

2nd astral: This was my first conscious projection with one of the methods from Bruce’s book. I felt myself outside my body after trying a technique of rocking my body. I ended up head down staring at the floor and out of my body. I noted that I could not go through objects like last time. I played around, learning to materialize objects. Made money materialize and then my dog joined me and we romped around a while. Then I flew up into the sky and was pulled with such velocity upward that I ended up in space staring down at the Earth. The overwhelm of it brought me back to my body.

5th – Went into trance state while walking on my treadmill and listening to Aboriginal music. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the exercise. Then my eyes went into REM followed by a bright, white light that took over my entire vision. I felt the familiar vibration that signaled I could leave my body. I almost did except I worried what would happen to my body since I was on the treadmill. So I stayed in body and played with the trance state some.

6th – Recognizing the conflict created by Ego resistance and the results: chaotic thoughts, distress, destructive tendencies, “soul split” can occur, confusion, disorientation, paranoia, feelings of insanity. One must choose Ego or the Higher Self. Recognition that one creates their own reality is inherent in this process.

20-30th – Went to U.K. Had several hypnosis sessions. I recalled a life as a Native American. There was a ghost in the house I stayed at that I had to deal with. I had several astral adventures but do not go into all of them. In one I went to San Francisco and another to my old high school.

August, 2005 – Mostly lucid dreams this month, family illness, personal upheaval, sister divorced, decisions on what to do, past issues came up.

21st – Guide encounter. Astral meeting. All senses were present. He spoke to me with accent and said his name was Rostan.

29th – Went to psychiatrist who said my OBEs were “psychotic episodes”. She quickly diagnosed me as Bipolar 2 and kept trying to get me to admit I was drinking alcohol and traumatized (which I wasn’t). She gave me an antipsychotic and antidepressant to take.

30-31st – Medicine is making me feel really off and dizzy. It makes me sleep so deep I don’t dream and makes me feel shaky all the time. I stopped taking it two days later.

September, 2005 Most of this month is lucid dream after lucid dream.

4th – Astral experience where the bed felt to be moving and I was pulled into pictures. When I would come back to my body it would happen again and again. I was also hit with intense energy sensations all over my body but mostly around third eye and top of head. Friend later told me this was kundalini.

October, 2005

11th – I wrote that my dreams have all been very sexual for the past month or so. I had an experience where while I was OOB I was hit with a strong energy in my root chakra. It shot up as if in a wide cylinder and moved up my center through my chakras. It expanded as it moved and filled me with such ecstasy that it brought me back to my body. It continued and I began to cry from the experience of it. It was orgasmic but in a different way and hard to explain.

22nd – I’ve been very depressed since the ecstasy experience. I had a guide encounter in astral. I heard his voice audibly. He gave me instructions on how to return to the “in-between” space where I can talk to him without interference. He said it was “a place where past, present and future existed at the same time”. I did as he instructed and went into the lives of other people (some in great detail). I couldn’t tell what time they were from but was told I would be taught how.

25th – I mention that I have had many astral experiences but they were mostly just me alone doing my thing, so I didn’t write about them. I mention a projection where I was being taught how to control astral better and manipulate it. I was taught how to travel using thought and practiced it and met up with others in astral and spoke with about 5 different people. One was a police officer and one told me, “That’s not allowed here” when I asked her name. It appeared that I was meeting people from present time but I didn’t know why.

Your-Higher-SelfNovember, 2005

3rd – Guide encounter in astral. He appeared to me as moving, brilliant light energy with a bluish hue. I heard him and he had an Australian accent. I saw him mostly as blue light though I could make out features. He moved like water. He told me, “I was your first birthday present”. He said much more to tell me as well but I did not write it all down.
The rest of the month was mainly lucid dreams.

December, 2005

4th – Astral 2 times. I met up with people, ate food and thought, “Wow, things even taste better in astral”. My vision blacked out a lot and I realized it happened anytime I resisted doing what my Higher Self wanted. When I was in black out my guide would remind me to stay focused and then I would return to astral.

13th – Astral. I was recognizing the right energy to exit my body. Was told to create whatever I wanted and I ended up standing next to huge, crystal clear ocean on the beach. I saw a peacock and scared it by accident. It ran into the water, almost drowning. I tried to save it but it made it more afraid. I finally let it alone and it came out of the water.

16th – Astral. Walked into several pictures. Finally, I walked into a picture of a lake. I ended up at a lake that was surrounded by a glass house. I went into the dark, cool water and felt huge relief.

22nd – Massive amount of energy descended on me from above. I was not asleep or meditating – I was wide awake! It filled my entire body and felt like a swarm of bees buzzing inside of me. I felt electric or as if I had been magnetized. I relaxed into it. Then the energy seemed to reach a state of equilibrium and my astral body exited out the top of my head. Yet the buzzing energy stayed with me even OOB. My astral body moved so rapidly I felt like I was on a roller coaster and it scared me a little. When I opened my eyes I was traveling very fast. Neon blue lines and shapes zipped past me at dizzying speeds. So I closed my eyes and continued with the energy. I change direction a few times. When I opened my eyes I was underneath my bed! I then went around my house in astral for a while, exploring, flying, etc.

28th – Astral. I flew over an ocean and saw tropical trees and beaches. I knew I was in Australia. I skimmed the top of the water until I got to the island. There I explored a boardwalk lined with stores. It felt familiar and I was happy to be back. I went into a shop and there, sitting all alone at a table, was my Dad. I was overjoyed! I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. We spoke at length about my sister. He warned me of tough times ahead for her and I recall seeing visions of her sleeping on a sofa and being depressed and sad. He told me I needed to help her. I remember thinking it odd that he came to me to talk to me about my sister but I accepted his visit gratefully.

Note: My sister went through a period of difficult times after this OBE that continues to this day.