Sometimes I have very emotional dreams. This morning I awoke to one such dream.

Temptation

Most of the details of the beginning of the dream are lost to me now, but I recall the most important details.

The dream consisted of me meeting this good looking, Hispanic man. He appeared younger than me and reminded me of someone but I cannot figure out who. We were in a house that I was not familiar with and he and I had just met. When I saw him I was hit with such a familiar pang of recognition in my heart that it took my breath away. I do not know if he had this same connection, but I think he did based upon the way the dream went.

I avoided him for some time, speaking to him briefly and engaging in only casual conversation. I made sure to keep my distance because being near him caused an overwhelming amount of desire and I was certain he would notice. Perhaps he did because he kept coming closer to me and would not allow me to go far.

Throughout this I was overcome with feelings of foreboding, continually thinking of how I was married, had children and would not do anything to cause them potential suffering. I felt as if I had been ripped in two every time I saw this young man who would not go away and who I did not really want to go away. It was an agonizing feeling!

Finally, I gave in and stopped dodging him. Just looking at him was painful and also amazingly wonderful. I don’t remember what he was saying to me but I ended up allowing him to kiss me. This was, of course, probably not a good idea as the kiss caused me to understand the intensely deep connection that existed between us.

I broke away from the kiss and began talking one hundred miles an hour about my husband and family and how I could not, would not, do anything that would put them at risk. I remember wishing I were single so badly that it hurt. My insides were in all kinds of knots with energy welling out of my first, second and third chakras.

Message from Azekiel

I awoke still feeling the agonizing split between what I wanted and what I felt was “right”. I could not figure out why I was once again having this type of dream! Then I remembered the brief OBE I had where I was allowed to witness an agreement being made between my Higher Self and some others. I remember that there was a man involved and that he was married. I also knew the agreement was that he and I would meet. I remember I felt sorry for him.

Needless to say, I was not pleased with this memory and the sudden realization that I was preparing for a meeting. Dread is all I felt. All I could think was, “Why?”

My guide was very close and he said very simply, “You are sad”.

I didn’t feel this was true, but then maybe it was? Maybe I am hiding from a part of myself, some part deeply connected to a past where I was unfaithful? I do recall a life that fits that description.

In that, I remembered too much, I think, because I did find the sadness and two tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. I asked for healing, hoping to avoid any meeting like in my dream.

My guide said, “The healing needs to come via the physical”.

Just my luck!

I asked, “Who are you? What is your name?”

He replied, “Azekiel”.

I knew he was trying to prepare me, to help me with some big hurdle that is holding me back. I am not exactly sure what it is or why the healing needs to come via the physical. I suspect the person I am meeting has a similar need. Perhaps he and I are cancelling a karmic debt?

Near OBE

I fell back to sleep, asking to project. I was on my stomach and almost instantly found myself in the in-between but I was not becoming conscious like is normal.

I suddenly felt to be laying in my mother’s bed and all I could think about was the man from my previous dream and how desperately I wanted to be with him. The agony was very real and I just wanted to stay asleep and not have to confront the situation.

I felt someone shake me and say, “You need to get up now”. I ignored it and pushed against the hand saying, “I want to sleep”. The shaking happened again and I groaned. I heard other noises, the noises of a busy house – children’s voices, pitter patter of tiny feet, talking, etc. I specifically heard my sister’s voice. I do remember thinking that all I needed to do was roll out of my body, but I literally felt too tired to bother.

I woke up feeling so much better but I don’t know why. Perhaps I am just accepting that this needs to be done. Sigh.