Monthly Archives: July 2015

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Dream: Will You Be My Patient?

I struggled to fall asleep last night. I had more energy than usual and then I kept waking up. My head was buzzing with energy at the very top. I could sometimes feel it extend to my third eye but then it would withdraw.

Then, I was told suddenly by my guide,”We will talk”.

Dream: Will You Be My Patient?

I was walking inside a very large, mall-like building. The ceiling were vastly high with domed windows. There were office spaces enclosed completely in glass. Inside one of them I saw a desk and a man.

My “sister” came out and lovingly touched my arm. She said to me, “I’m so sorry to hear the news”. I looked at her questioningly. “I heard your bloodwork came back showing signs of cancer”. I didn’t know what she was talking about.

In my mind I had a memory of seeing the doctor in the glass office and him giving me an exam. I went to get the bloodwork after. He had not even talked to me about it yet. How could she then know the results if I didn’t? I thought that she must be confusing me for our mother, but then I couldn’t remember her ever having cancer either.

I continued toward the glass office and went inside. The doctor gave me a slip of paper. It was a hand written prescription containing five scripts. I read over them and recognized them as cancer-fighting medications. Could it be that my sister was right?

I confronted my doctor. “What did my bloodwork say?”

He told me that the bloodwork showed signs of cancer. He specified that I had two tumors that were still small and if treated aggressively the prognosis was good. In my mind I saw the tumors were in my head. I did not know what to think. Was he for real?

I looked down at the script and knew I had a decision to make. Take the medication or don’t take it. Take a chance at life or resign myself to my fate.

Then I saw a woman sitting where I should have been sitting across from the doctor. She had something in her hand. I became her, experiencing her thoughts. She recognized she needed to quit smoking. For a moment the thing in her hand looked like a pack of cigarettes. She reluctantly handed them over and I imagined them stomped upon by the doctor. However, what actually happened is the woman handed over a small USB flash drive. This confused me but I soon recognized it as one I had in waking life. It contained on it a recovery program to find viruses on infected computers.

Then the doctor came up to me, his white coat very obvious.

He asked me, “Will you be my patient?”

What is odd about this part of the dream is that when he asked me the question it echoed in my physical ears as if he were really standing right next to me. The sound resonated between states and then beyond. The me in the dream wanted to answer, “Yes”. The me waking up to the question wanted to answer, “No”.

Feeling I needed to answer, I chose the answer of the me in the dream. “Yes”, I said. But I wanted to answer “No”.

The split between my two aspects was quite obvious. One had hope and wanted help. The other had given up.

Awake now, I was confused and wanted to panic, but didn’t. It was only a dream. I don’t have cancer. I just had a physical and everything checked out fine. It was purely symbolic. Cancer symbolizes a sickness within, like an emotional sickness or an area of one’s life that is causing them emotional upset. The question about being a patient could mean two things. One, that I need to be patient. Two, that I am in an intense period of healing. It likely means both.

My guide said to me that one of these “cancers” is impeding my survival. He asked me to return to sleep and he would help me understand.

I did eventually return to sleep but the dream seems unrelated to the “cancer” dream. I do remember hearing a message that I had 10 more days to go. This would fall in line with the 30 day time period I was given at the beginning of the month.

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Withdrawal

I have the home to myself – finally. Usually I would use this time to meditate or tune in, but I just don’t feel the connection. It is like it vanished. I feel completely and utterly alone and abandoned compared to how I felt just a little over a month ago.

If this is what ascension is all about then I don’t like it one bit. I can’t imagine it is meant to be this way. To have everything build up and explode with wonderful, beautiful, amazing wholeness and connectedness to Source and then suddenly disappear.

Snap and it’s gone.

I feel like the little kid who got one of those humungous lolly pops – you know the kind that are all rainbow colored and bigger than any person could ever eat – and then mommy said, “Sorry hunny, it’s too much for you”, and snatches it away before I can get another taste of it.

Or even worse – “Share with your sister”. Argghhh!

Symptoms?

I think I am in withdrawal. I grieve for what I feel I have lost every day. It makes me mad and then sad and then hopeless. I pray for it to come back every night before bed. All I get in return is more odd dreams and a strange, heavy exhaustion as if I took sleep meds before bed.

And headaches and joint aches and just overall heartache.

This is what I am experiencing now:

  • Sadness
  • Empty feeling
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Headache
  • Joint aches
  • Body aches
  • Disinterest in humanity in general
  • Wanting OUT
  • Isolating myself
  • Exhaustion
  • Deep, dream-filled sleep
  • Buzzing energy around crown/head
  • Tingling sensations on arms (feels like Spirit touching me)
  • Dry eyes
  • Stiff neck/shoulders/upper back

When I feel like this, when I feel I am being denied what is rightfully mine, I get angry and wish it had never happened in the first place. If I had never known I could feel so completely amazing I would not miss it so much when it is gone.

I think this is why we Forget when we come to this place. It is too painful to Remember.

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Dream: Back to School (again)

I’ve been very tired lately. This is probably because of being sick with a cold (in July?) and then doing a pretty intense workout in hopes of clearing up the cold quicker. This morning a two-day headache is gone, I’m feeling better and have a slightly pleasant buzzing in my crown chakra.

Dream: Life Scenarios

My dreams were quite vivid last night for some reason. I recall two, the first of which is almost faded completely from my memory now.

In this particular dream I was observing how choices affect life outcomes. Since I don’t remember the specifics now, I will say that I was both an observer and a participant in the dream. At one point I was pulled out of the dream and asked to observe the multiple directions the life of the individual could take. I saw at least 12 or 13, all shooting off from a particular point like roads at an intersection. It resembled a wheel with spokes, the center being the defining moment when the choices were made.

I recognized within the dream the life scenarios I was viewing and the extent of the lesson was a bit overwhelming. To think that all these off-shoots were possible and likely occurring at the same time. If you have seen the show Sliders, then you will get an idea of what this might look like.

When I awoke from the dream my first thought was that I had been given a glimpse of multidimensional me. I was also reminded of my recent very lucid OBEs in which I was experiencing an alternate version of reality, one in which I had gone a completely different direction with my life.

Dream: Back to School (again)

This dream began with me entering a dorm room where I met up with several other people. It was furnished with two twin beds with white sheets and there was a small window that revealed we were on an upper level.

Discussion was about school and settling in. There was with me a very muscular black man who was the main focus of my attention, but there was also a woman. The black man laid down in the bed and I went up close to him and took a good look at him. He was not wearing a shirt and his muscles were very defined. I remember that he was very firm with me, though I don’t remember now what he said to me. It was not that he was unhappy with me but more that he wanted me to pay attention.

I noticed he had a large, reddish colored mole just under his right eye. I wondered about it briefly but was interrupted.

“What will you do now?” the woman asked. I could barely perceive her silhouette to my left.

At this time I found myself laying in the bed where the man had been and looking up at the ceiling. I said, “He will be my boyfriend”, jokingly, but I suddenly knew it was true.

The woman then began to talk to me about registration, telling me that I needed to be there at 6:30am. She spoke about receiving a message and I told her, “You get messages like once a week. No one ever calls or leaves me a message anymore”.

I realized it was nearly 6:30 and looked out the window to make sure. When I did, I saw the moon. It was extremely large! I remarked in surprise, pointing at it. When I looked closer it turned into an outline of Earth, each continent numbered, as if labeled.

I said, “Oh, I guess it is a hologram”. I looked and saw a balcony far below where a projector was set up. This was the source of the image.

The image then changed to that of an alien space craft lit up with all sorts of colors. It then morphed into another craft but I lost interest at that point.

It was then time for me to go and so I left, worrying briefly about where the Student Union was located.

When I arrived I had with me all three of my children. I browsed the books and knew which ones I needed. I also knew I had plenty of money to pay for them and that this part was “easy”.

Reflection

When I awoke I knew the dream represented another round of learning that was about to begin. I was/am not very pleased about it. The cycle never seems to end. My guide reminded me that learning is why I am here. He communicated that learning is Us.

I recognized the black man from my dream. I recall many encounters with him since 2003. I suspect that my guides have changed for the time being and he is back for whatever it is he does. Though I don’t remember much about him, I do recall there being a strong sexual component. This was in the past, though. I do not know if this is his main role or not. I doubt it.

There is also the 630 number. It appeared the night before as well, suggesting there is a message in it. It’s meaning can be found here. I have grown tired of these number messages as most of them mean the same thing: stay focused on your current path, trust you are on the right path, and your guides and angels are assisting you.

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Fierce is the Warrior

I think my warrior side came out again. Something triggered it. I suspect it was something during dream time as I awoke with such resistance to my life and the conditions of it that it was hard to quiet myself. Sadly, I was not a nice person for a couple of days. Yesterday I woke to computer issues that plagued me all day and brought me near tears. Then today I woke up sick with the worst sore throat I have had in a long time.

My dreams have been strange. Last night I dreamed I was in prison with other convicts and I was yelling and fighting and clawing to get out. I had another dream in which my husband came home, ate the dinner I prepared and then fell asleep on the couch. I got so mad at him that I took all the dirty dishes and began to throw them at him. He slept through all of it.

It is obvious that these dreams are frustrations rising to the surface like little bubbles, popping with an explosion that is hard to avoid.

Today, though, with the sickness following me, I have mellowed some. So far there has been no computer malfunctions. In fact, everything computer-related has gone smoothly despite it being frustratingly slow.

I have been strangely detached from everything related to this existence and I don’t really know how to handle it. The feeling is not like anything I have felt before. It is like I was just plucked from somewhere comfortable and thrown down into this chaotic place and told, “Sink or swim”. The emptiness is all encompassing and I don’t know what to do about it either. I go to my heart center and it feels empty, too.

I have gone through a desperate need to be alone and isolate myself from everyone. This isn’t working, though. It can’t with three kids. Not going to happen. I was angry about this, thus the dream about being in prison. I feel I can’t escape the life I am in, the roles I promised to play and the contracts to complete.

I feel that currently my lower three chakras are the focus right now. I am not sure exactly how to describe what I am sensing, but it feels like I am moving down into them, taking them over and making them mine. Who’s where they before? I want to reject everything that has to do with them.

I think I am resisting being in the body, actually. Sigh.

My guide sent me a song last night. Not sure why this particular song, but the last line was the one that kept repeating.

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

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Dream: Meteorites and Dissociation

It has been a strange day and still, as it is ending, my dreams haunt me.

Meteorites

In this dream I was in a mountainous area up north somewhere. I am not sure where exactly I was, but the mountains were gray and treeless with snow still showing near the peaks.

In the valley below I stood in shock as I watched meteorites rain down from the sky and hit the mountains. In the sky they trailed smoke and ash and when they hit the mountains the explosion caused fire to shoot out from the impact sites similar to how a volcano looks when it erupts. One after another they fell and caused fire and smoke to rise into the sky.

In the valley below the destruction I finally turned and ran, stopping only because I saw a small group of people. Something about them, perhaps the oddness of them being there, caused me to forget about the destruction and try to learn more about them.

They were speaking Japanese and the conversation was mainly between a young Japanese man and a very tiny, but adult, Japanese woman. The woman appeared to be mildly retarded and even though I could not understand their language I knew what they were talking about. The woman was to marry the man and he was rejecting her because she was neither male nor female but both.

Hearing this I laughed loudly and repeated what I had heard to them. They in turn began to whisper to each other in Japanese. Disinterested, I turned again and saw the destruction continued. I told them, “We need to move on” and we walked away from the scene.

Dissociation

In this dream my husband and I went to visit my mother only to find that her house was occupied by a bunch of people who were associated with my sister. They were having a party and not leaving. My mother told me she was sorry. I was upset because were had planned to stay the night and now had to try and sleep despite the noise.

I spent the majority of the beginning of this dream demanding the party-goers be quiet and leave us alone. I yelled several times, “I just want to sleep!”

Eventually, I decided I would join the party because I obviously wasn’t going to get any sleep. Besides, they were interesting.

I ended up drinking more than I should until the wee hours of the night and became very fond of the people I was with. They were different than those I normally associated with, yet I found myself drawn to them.

As we left for the evening, I had to leave behind my new friends and rejoin my family. I felt torn and there was agony in my decision. I walked toward my “old” family carrying a large trailer behind me. It was as if I were the car and it (a huge trailer) was hitched to me. As I walked along the road, I encountered masses of people walking toward me – the wrong way. They were drunk and dazed and I remember thinking, “They don’t see me”.

The entire walk home one of my new friends accompanied me. He and I had a strong connection, one that made me feel alive again. It was like he was my soul mate (if such a thing exists).

When I got home I remember I forgot my keys but decided to not go back. I had crossed through a “gate” of some sort and to go back through it would mean going through a “check-point” and I didn’t want to risk getting caught. What I was getting caught for, I don’t know.

When I woke up I was very sad and questioning why. I felt completely and utterly dissociated from my life, my family, and my everyone I know. The feeling was so intensely real that I figured it must mean I needed to disconnect from my life and everyone in it. I believed this to the point that I even looked online for an apartment and told my husband I wanted to move out.

As the day wore on I lost the feeling from the dream and calmed down to the point that I rejected the idea of leaving it all behind. I will not be moving out or leaving behind my family and life. It was just dream, even if it was a very real and intense one.

I do long to reconnect with whoever it was I was with in that dream. Sigh.

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Musings and a Dream

An entire day has passed and now that the sun is setting I am feeling a familiar twinge from within; a whisper of things to come. It beckons me forward like the words from the Cold Play song that has been haunting me for several days now:

And they call as they beckon you on
They say start as you need to go on
Start as you need to go on

Slowly my attention is being drawn back to where it was a little over a month ago – back to the present moment and to the stillness that I seem to live in despite the chaos of the world around me. No, I am not always still but my mind is so much more than it ever has been in my life. Normal, daily mind chatter is still almost nonexistent and if I am chattering to myself I seem to be having conversations with an invisible person.

I am being asked to review what I have accomplished; to see the progress I have made and to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done. I am trying but I am always the most critical of myself.

I am told it is all very normal what I am going through as I am moving beyond 3D life and into 4D. The somberness, the empty feeling I have been having, the feeling of not belonging, the boredom – all very normal. I have to live here in this world, though. I have to keep up the facade of agreeing with it for the time being. It will not be forever and if I can find the stillness within and continue to focus on my heart, it will be a smooth ride.

The buzzing around my head is coming back with ever more intensity as well. I feel again the opening up to a “download” approaching. Whether it will be as intense as the last, I don’t know, but I welcome it. I feel whole when I am connected and want more than anything to remain that way always.

Dream: Shift in 4D or Be Lost

With all the OBEs I had this morning, I nearly forgot about the dreams that preceded them. There was one that came back to me suddenly just now. One in which I was discussing the shift to 4D and watching oh so many be left behind, unable to make the shift and suffering in all sorts of ways because of it. I hate to say it was a doom and gloom dream, but in a lot of ways it was. In it we (me and others) reached out to help others and they slipped right through our fingers. I can still feel the despair and ache for the loss.

There remains an urgency from the dream that remains with me even now.

I also recall meeting my guide and seeing him close up. I can’t believe I had forgotten it as it was while OOB somewhere between set 1 and 2 of my adventures this morning. When I saw him he was wearing one of those old west mustaches that curled just a little on the ends. As he is blonde, the mustache was quite in contrast to his complexion and he reminded me a little bit of Ewan McGregor. I remember saying to him, “You have a mustache now? Nice”. In my mind I can see him clearly as he winks at me, a twinkle in his eye and I think now how much fun he must have changing his appearance on me all the time. He is still himself, of course, just wearing a different costume like we all are. In reality you can never hide from those who truly know you.

I wasn’t going to write this post but I feel so peaceful and calm right now and wanted to write a bit about what I left out from this morning. It has been a spectacular day!

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OBE: Set Three

I settled back into my body briefly and thought about the odd OBEs I had just had. I concluded that I was being allowed to see a multidimensional aspect of myself. Curious, I fell back into the vibrations and left my body to see if I could find out more about this “other” me.

Warning: These OBEs are disturbing.

Murder and Deception

I found myself back in a discussion with my mother. Again, I noted her appearance and how different, how good, she looked.

She was again complaining about the new version of some program that had come out and how much work it would take her to redo her website. This is not like my mom at all as her career was education and she knows nothing about web design! She repeated the name of the program several times, and I tried to remember it but all I recall now is the number 8.

When she left the room, I began to walk down the hallway into an area of the house I had not yet explored. There was carpet under my feet and walls to either side of me. I looked up and was face-to-face with a man. Startled, I stared at him but he did not seem to see me.

He had medium brown hair and a beard and was very nice looking. I thought to myself, “He is me” and concluded that I was being allowed to watch this other version of me in another version of my life.

The same young, blonde girl from the other OBE approached him. I knew her name this time: Amber Crystal. She was again talking non-stop about something and did not notice the man’s obvious irritation. She was showing him this wooden object that looked like some kind of lever or maybe a giant corkscrew. She handed the object to the man who took it. He was more and more irritated by this time.

I recall switching from the observer me into the man at this time. I knew his thoughts. He thought about knocking the girl on the side of the head with the wooden object. I heard him think, “Oh well. Why not?” Then he took the object and hit her in the side of the head with so much force it knocked her down. He/I stood over her and watched the blood trickle down the side of her head. She was obviously unconscious, but was she dead?

At that moment, another blonde girl approached. I knew immediately that she was the older daughter, about 17, and her name was Stephanie. She said to him, “You weren’t suppose to do that yet!” He said to her, “I couldn’t help it. She wouldn’t shut up”. I got a feeling that they had planned to kill her but that he had done it prematurely. Why they were doing it, I didn’t know.

The older girl was upset and the man was irritated at her. He began to walk past her as she was saying something to him. He took the corkscrew and shoved it right between her eyes and left it there. She stood there stunned with it sticking out of her head. I don’t know if it killed her as my vision blacked out and I returned to my body.

Self-Mutilation

I found myself sitting on a bed that looked into another room. The room was vivid with a golden hue and there was a small baby on the floor playing. I remembered the last OBE and I was overcome with an impulsive urge to harm myself. I reached over and grabbed a heavy chisel and began to stab my right thigh with it over and over again. At first I thought it would hurt, but I felt nothing, only pressure, and even though I stabbed my flesh, there was no blood. It only left behind marks.

I stabbed and stabbed, the whole time watching the baby and thinking, “They are nothing more than animals”. Where this thought came from, I don’t know, but I was totally comfortable with thinking it and with stabbing myself. When I saw the baby I literally thought it a nuisance, like a mongrel on the street.

I then began to molest myself with the chisel, curious if it would hurt since it had not hurt to stab myself. I had no concern at all for my body nor was I feeling ashamed of what I was doing to myself. It felt like I was trying to punish myself but even that was not a thought.

I awoke with a pain in my second chakra as energy shot up from my root. My head was buzzing with energy that was so intense it nearly hurt. I was confused about the OBE. Why did I do that? Weird! Yet I had no feeling of shame or guilt at what I had just experienced/done. It seemed more like I had been someone else; not myself at all.

I did not go OOB after that but instead fell to sleep and awoke with a line from a song going through my head, “Won’t you lay me, won’t you lay me down”.

If anything, it appeared the OBE was meant to help clear a blockage in my first and second chakras. I believe I was allowed to view a dark side of myself. Thankfully, I did not reject it but allowed myself to be an emotionally objective observer.

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OBEs: Set Two

After the OBE with the dogs, I came back into my body and settled there for a while, my guide close. He communicated to me without words and I was filled with a sudden knowingness that these experiences were to show me something important. At this time I felt my crown covered in buzzing energy. The energy was almost painful it was so intense.

By this time I was laying on my back and the vibrations were coming in waves, though I had to focus on them to tell they were there. When I did focus on them, they came on so intensely that I thought I would be propelled OOB. Thankfully, when I didn’t focus on them, they became muted.

Christmas Gift #2

At one point I saw through closed eyes again and this was how I knew I was OOB. I immediately got up and OOB and walked into the next room. This time I could see very clearly and saw in the middle of the room a huge Christmas tree shining brightly with a golden color. However, the tree had no lights or decorations.

Under the tree were tons of gifts piled up and wrapped beautifully. I inspected the gifts and read again my name on the tag of one of them, a small, rectangular box. It said, “To: Dayna From: Your Spirit Guide”. Smiling I left it there and browsed the other gifts. I read the tag of one and it said, “To: Bishop _______ From: Steven”. I could not make out the name of the bishop but smiled as I recognized there were gifts for others there, too.

I walked over to the fireplace mantel and just looked around for a while. I had a peaceful, serene feeling at this time and did not want for anything. My vision then blacked out and I felt the energy announcing a return to my body.

When I returned Steven asked, “Did you get my gift?” I said, “Yes”. He asked, “Did you open it?” I said, “No”. He asked, “Why not?” and I told him, “Because I wasn’t allowed to last time”. I figured that if I tried to open it that I would prematurely end my OBE like last time.

I again asked, “What is it?” He said, “You have it already. It is within you”. Puzzled, I returned to my reverie and let the vibrations wash over me.

Multidimensional Me

The next series of OBEs are different in that they appear to be a different version of my life. There are several OBEs so this will just be the first two as they are short.

In the first one, a scene opened up in front of me and I saw a much thinner version of my mother leaning over a sofa and looking at me. I felt as if I were just transported to this scene as there were no vibrations or shifts noticeable, just opening my eyes to another place.

My mom was talking to me about her life, saying something about a certain internet program coming out with an new version and how it would mess up her website. She said she had planned it for four months and now had to start over.

She went on to talk about my grandparents as if they were alive. I said to her, “Mom, Nanny and Grandaddy are dead”. She looked at me like I was talking nonsense and continued on, talking about other things in her life. She mentioned feeling alone and wishing she had someone. I told her, “Mom, you got married last year. Remember?” I gave her the name of her husband and she said, “Oh that would be nice. He and I dated when we were in high school”. I told her, “You should call him”.

I watched my mom intently during this OBE as she looked so different from real life. She was thinner and it looked like she had spent a lot of money on her appearance – face lifts, skin treatments, exercise and maybe even a tummy tuck. Her hair was short and styled and her clothes were very upscale. I do not recall moving at all during this OBE, just having a conversation.

My Other Family

When my mom left the room there was a shift and then I was back in the same room. I began to explore. What was this interesting, new place? Who lives here?

I wandered the house I was in, moving from the upscale living area to another connecting room. In this room there were large, floor to ceiling windows that lead to an outside space. The floors made of high-end wood and the decor was similarly priced. The color scheme was light beige and cream and the furniture was very nice, definitely not a home with young children in it!

A blonde girl of about 9 or 10 years old ran up to me. She spoke to me as if I were her parent, talking a million miles an hour. Her bubbly personality was catching and I smiled as she went on and on about something I do not remember now.

As I listened to her, I tried to remember how she looked. Her hair was long and blonde with a slight wave and she had it pulled back away from her eyes and pinned with two small barrettes. Her face was not familiar to me and resembled my ex husband. I wondered briefly if I was being allowed to look at my life had I stayed with him. Was this our daughter? I concluded that I was definitely being allowed to see an alternate version of myself and that life.

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OBEs: Set One

I was awakened at 2:30am by another series of strange dreams. I thought I smelled smoke, so got up to investigate. Then I had difficulty falling asleep because both my sons woke up. I asked to lucid dream or astral just to see if it would happen. I ended up having more OBEs than I could count.

OBE: Christmas Gift

I awoke in the midst of a dream I was having. In the dream I was sitting at a computer desk in the middle of a large room. I had posted a blog post entitled, “Shattered Glass”. It was a short post about a breakthrough I was having involving my guides/Team and my spiritual development. I thought I had posted it but then couldn’t find it and was searching for it when my husband came in and questioned me. When I looked back to the computer monitor it had vanished and this clued me into the fact that I was dreaming.

As soon as I knew I was dreaming my vision blacked out. I went toward the stairs and began to jump/float down them happily. Even though I couldn’t see I knew what was below – a Christmas tree with presents.

At the bottom I reached out and felt the spines of the tree and sat down by it. My vision came on suddenly then and I saw the tree lit up with red lights and perfectly wrapped presents. Each present was red with a green ribbon wrapped around it and the name of the person it was for written in big, bold, red cursive lettering on a tag. I scanned the presents for my name and found it. It said, “To: Dayna From: Steven”. I laughed and picked it up, ready to unwrap it when my vision again blacked out and I returned to my body.

Back in my body my guide told me, “I gave you a gift”. I acknowledged this and said, “What is it?” He did not answer.

I felt very subtle vibrations and recognized I could still exit but what is odd here is that I seemed not to ever exit my body but to instead be transported to different scenes. I would open my astral eyes, many times thinking they were my real eyes, and find the scene changed or a scene playing out in front of me. It was like watching a movie until I chose to walk into the scene.

german shepherdOBE: Neighbor Encounter

In one instance there was no scene playing out but instead I overheard people yelling and recognized my neighbors across the street. They often have violent screaming arguments at odd hours. I figured I would investigate and got up out of my body and floated to my window.

I had to push out the screen to exit but got outside where I saw my neighbors standing in the street in a face off. They had with them several large German Shepherds as well as some juvenile ones. When I pushed out the screen it caused them to look up at me.

I landed in front of them and felt they were suspicious of me. A dog came toward me and one of the women stopped it and he just snarled at me. I said something to them but can’t remember what now. Whatever it was made them disinterested in me and they allowed their dogs to do whatever they liked. One came toward me intent on attacking me.

I flew up into the air and hovered over the snarling dogs which were now barking ferociously. I laughed and said, “You can’t get me but even if you could I wouldn’t die. I can’t die here! And if I could, so what, I would just come back!”

Something caught my attention and I went down the street a bit, the dogs and neighbors vanishing behind me. There in the road stood a tall, blonde man. I walked up next to him so close I was touching his left arm. I looked up at him towering over me and said, “You are real tall”. He said, “I know”. I looked up and said, “No, I mean you are real tall; not normal tall”. He seemed disinterested in my estimation of his height, though. I remember thinking that he must be over 7 feet tall.

The OBE ended here. Upon inspection of my memory of the blonde man, I realize he was similar in appearance to the tall, blonde, angelic-looking being I saw in a previous OBE. He had been wearing a white robe with a red sass in that OBE. In this one I don’t recall him wearing clothes at all.

by

OBE: I Need You, You Need Me

I awoke at 6:30am disappointed because I had not gone OOB or had a lucid dream, which I had asked for prior to sleep. My guide was close and the memory of my dreams still vivid. I recalled a lesson I had been learning while sleeping, but only the gist of it: that all of us and every thing in the universe is composed of the same material. This knowledge and the memory of my dreams made me feel empty for some reason. In fact, I was succinctly aware of the emptiness I felt and upset that I was still feeling it even after all the spiritual “advancing” I’ve been doing.

My guide was close and I understood the message that we are the same but I wanted to know, why am I still here on Earth? Why do I feel like this? Will I ever feel fulfilled? I heard/felt that my Companion wanted me to be happy so I said back, “I am not happy here, so why don’t you just take me back?”

I rolled over on my side still overly aware of the empty feeling. In fact, I felt like just a shell with nothing inside – no urge, no passion, no nothing. It is not a fun feeling to have.

As I was laying there, my Companion communicated with me but most of it is lost to me now. What I do recall is that I heard music; a song being sung by a lovely voice and background music. It sounded familiar, like Enya, but nothing she ever sang. I tried to ignore the music but got a nudge to tune into it. Listen.

OBE: I Need You, You Need Me

As I listened to the music, I heard the message. I don’t remember it all word for word now, but it was a message of love, encouragement and optimism. The most poignant part of the song were the words, “I need you, you need me”.

I got caught up in the music, letting the violins and other instruments of the background music sway me into its rhythm. I recognized that the music made me feel lighter; calmer.

The next thing I remember is that my right eye seemed to open of its own accord (my left eye was covered by the pillow). I saw my bedroom wall, the green paint cast in a brilliant golden glow. The vividness of my normally blurry, uncorrected vision, was absent. This vividness clued me in to the fact that my physical eye was not open. I was looking at my bedroom with my astral eye!

Though the music was still playing and the woman still singing, I took advantage of the opportunity to exit and simply got up out of bed and my body. I felt no vibrations, no energetic shift – nothing. In fact, it was as if I had been transported instantly to a brighter, more colorful version of my own home.

Up and out of my body, I traveled out of my bedroom and down stairs. My vision stayed on, crisp and clear. The golden shimmering of the atmosphere which was my new house seemed to dance around me as I moved. The music and singing continued. By now I was singing along.

I went down the stairs and then found that I moved in circles, as if my stairs became a winding staircase that moved up instead of down. I stopped and looked across at the point from which I started the “descent”. I was directly across from it. There had been no descent or ascent! I had just gone in a circle!

Still singing, I again started down stairs. I could hear my husband talking to someone. I knew he was leaving early for a trip to San Antonio and I wanted to kiss him goodbye. The words of the song began to repeat now: I need you, you need me.

This time I did descend and stood watching my husband standing at the front door with another man. I assumed it was my brother-in-law but I am not now sure that was who it was. I focused on my husband more than him.

As I began to move toward them, one my boys, completely naked and golden in color, ran right past me. He moved so fast he was like a streak or a ball of energy more than the form of a person. I said hello and put my hand down to touch the top of his head (must have been my oldest son). I felt his hair brush my hand as he ran past.

Still focused on my husband I said to him, “Have a good trip”. He smiled and said, “Thank you”. I lifted up off the ground and began to fly over toward him, intending to hug him. He put his hand out and said, “Be careful” as if he thought I would knock him over in m exuberance.

I slowed down and came to a stop in front of him. I looked closely at him and reached out my hand to touch his eye. I said, “What’s that? You have something on your eye”. I touched his left eye and saw that what looked like a sty. I closed my eyes and kept my finger there, sending healing to him.

As I sent the healing I felt my energy destabilize. I did not attempt to stabilize it. Instead I allowed myself to be drawn back into my body. I settled back in without incident, still hearing the words of the song in my mind. “I need you, you need me”.

Clear Message

When I opened my eyes back in my body I immediately knew my Companion had given me what I asked for. Once again, my “tantrum” was successful, but I did not feel thrilled to have gotten my way. I still felt empty. The message was clear, though, I was needed and I need my Companion. Similarly, we all need one another. That is what’s missing and why I feel empty, or at least part of why. I lack meaningful connections in my life.

I suspect the OBE encounter with my husband was to show me that there is an obstacle in my path. The sty specifically symbolizes this obstacle and is likely representative of the avoidance of intimacy in my life. I attempt to heal it, so I recognize my own ability to heal this issue.