Monthly Archives: July 2015

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Visit from Dragonfly

I felt drawn to go outside and just sit even though it was nearing 90 degrees and there was little shade. My daughter joined me and we sat, looking out on the trees and stream below us. It was peaceful and we both instantly noticed small shadows zipping around haphazardly on the ground. Looking up, we saw the source of these shadows: dragonflies.

There were more than I could count. I would guess about 100. The highest fliers were also the biggest. Those closest to the ground were small, probably only about two inches long. One landed on my daughter, then on me, then on her and back and forth. We watched his blue body and shimmering wings in awe. He was so perfectly tiny! I tried to take his picture several times but couldn’t get a good shot. This is the only good picture I got but he is mostly in the shadow of the porch swing.

dragonfly1Later, I went outside alone and stood right underneath the magnificent swarm of dragonflies. As I was leaving, I saw two huge, bright red ones. I thought they were hummingbirds at first. They were so large! I watched them fly past several times. So vividly red! I have never seen a red dragonfly like that!

Dragonfly Symbolism

The dragonfly brings many messages. He symbolizes happiness, speed, purity, joy and light. He also represents prosperity and good luck. Additionally, he can symbolize self-realization and one’s true, inner beauty. He reminds us to live in the moment and to the fullest.

Some of the most important messages from dragonfly are that he encourages us to look beyond self-created illusions to find our inner truth and beauty. Many say that when dragonfly comes into your life that you are ready to shift into a higher gear, move forward, fulfill your true potential and vibrate at much a higher frequency than before. His presence acts as an invitation to do all of the above with trust in your inner guidance.

I find the timing of dragonfly’s entrance into my life today as a synchronicity. He came just after I had taken yet another step toward the goal of starting my own business. I had been worried, thinking I should do more, but had chosen to let it be and relax for the time being. His presence validated my decision while also giving me something beautiful to watch.

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Dreams: Yearbooks and Graduation

Once again I am having dreams about graduation. It seems these kinds of dreams come in a sequence: looking for or going to school, going to class, and then graduation. It would be nice to know exactly what my degrees are. I would have a dozen at least by now!

Yearbooks

The first dream of the night was short. I was inside a home that reminded me of my mother’s house, but it wasn’t. My middle son was sitting on the floor next to an old, wooden chest. I asked him, “Have you seen my yearbooks?” He got this guilty look on his face and shrunk back from me. Knowing he had done something wrong, I investigated.

I found scattered across the floor at least five yearbooks. Sadly, my son had ripped the front covers of all of them except one. I gathered them up, asking him, “Why did you do that?” Irritated, I looked over them closely and put them in order. 2010, 2012, 2013…all the way to 2015. 2011 was in the wrong place, so I placed it after 2010 and looked at them stacked up in my arms.

They all had sky blue or medium blue and white covers. Some of the artwork on the cover was familiar and I saw my website name written across one of them. I placed the oldest, 2010, on the bottom of the pile and stacked them up in order with 2015 on the top. 2015 was not ripped and I seemed to cherish it the most.

I awoke a bit confused and my guide immediately said to me, “It’s alright”. I wondered why I would have such a dream and instantly fixated on the yearbooks and their dates. What was significant about 2010? I received a message via my heart center that I was struggling to let go of my past, still clinging to aspects of it that needed to be released in order for me to move forward. What those are, I did no know, but it appears I am working on clearing the last remnants while I sleep.

Graduation

The rest of my dreams were spent preparing for graduation and prom. There were many but I only remember one in detail.

I was inside a school. I was different from the other students, allowed to roam free of the rooms and go wherever I wanted while the other students could not. I remember leaving one classroom and heading for another where a lone student sat. He was young, kind of geeky, with long hair and seemed withdrawn and shy.

It appeared I was the only one graduating and so this was why I got so much freedom. It was the last day of school and everyone was preparing for prom. I was not interested in the classroom where all the students were preparing so kept visiting the young man in the other room.

After several visits with him he began to open up and become more friendly. On my last visit he pulled me close and put his hand on my rear. I remember thinking, “He likes me”. I was flattered but not interested. I said to him, “You are a Junior, right?” He said, “Yes”. I said back to him while I moved away from him, “Then you only have one more year to go” The message I sent with my words was that he was too young and inexperienced for me. Ha!

I went back into the other classroom where a group of immature girls were talking loudly and seemed like one instead of twenty. I told the teacher my observation and she told me to clear out my locker. So I went to it, opened it (somehow I knew the combination) and inside it was nearly empty except for some old cookies and snacks. I knew I had not been using it and had not been a “student” for a long time.

Then I was preparing for prom. I walked into a large space with the other students and we each went and picked up our dresses/tuxes. Mine was silky white with lace and a low-cut bodice. I went into a side room to try it on and a little boy assisted me. I remember looking in the mirror at my unfamiliar body wearing a bra and underwear.

The shy young man was spying on me during the dream and his nose was peculiar. He had this black, metal tube over it that was about four inches long. He took it off and then put it in his mouth like a cigar. His nose was very long and reminded me of Pinocchio.

Interpretation

When I awoke the dreams were still very vivid and my guide was close. I felt so comfortably drowsy and wanted to go back to sleep but couldn’t. My guide was communicating something but as it was via my heart I was too lazy to try and decipher it. The message got through regardless.

The upcoming prom in the dream symbolizes this change; an end and preparation for a new beginning. Pinocchio is representative of a lie being told, either by me to myself or from someone else to me. The cigar represents a relaxed state of mind and masculine energy. It could be that the masculine part of me can be deceptive if I let my guard down. The yearbooks in the previous post are representative of the old; the past. They are ripped and torn by my son, indicating a loss or destruction of the past. The present one is undamaged indicating focus upon the present. I show my interest in focusing on the present when I place it on top of the others.

It was made clear that I am coming to the end of yet another stage in this long progression of change. I am encouraged to not look back, only forward. Failures of the past are just that – in the past. The future is possibility and adventure. I can choose to play the game or not. Lessons are best learned in living life, not hiding from it. Focus on living is paramount now. Now is the future, not the past. Let go and move forward.

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Opening the Box

Joy is returning little by little.

While I was undergoing my purification, I met some interesting people who opened me up to an entirely new world, the world of business and marketing. Interestingly, a couple of days before meeting them I was asked by my Companion, “What do you want?” and I replied, “Lots of money without lots of work. I want to spend time with my children and pursue my interests”. I had said it before, but this particular instance felt different somehow. I felt it was possible. When I met these people a couple of days later I felt it again.

Since that meeting, I have watched in awe as the path opened up before me, a path I have little to no experience treading. In fact, my entire life I have shied away from starting my own business because of the fear of failure. I watched my father go bankrupt from a failed business and was raised by a mother who pushed her children along the path of “stability” via a career working for others. I tried once to start my own spiritual business but failed for many reasons, non of which I could have avoided at that particular time in my life.

But now, here I am again, looking out of this “box” of protection I have had around me at a possibility. It was always there but I never truly looked at it. Now for some reason when I look I see something different. Instead of fear, I see abundance, expansion, creativity, joy and freedom. Not only that, I feel all those things, too.

Fear is still there. It comes in the form of thoughts that say, “This won’t work” or “Why bother?” or “You don’t know what you are doing”, and more. At first I listened to those thoughts and felt depressed and ready to quit. In fact, each night, after hours of planning, research and focus on my new business venture, I went to bed and these thoughts took over. But in the end and by the time I wake each morning I hear/know that all I have to do is keep going, taking the next step, and the next, and the next. It works. The voices disappear and I am a focused creator.

Today I feel accomplished and excited. My husband is helping me and to work alongside him toward a mutual goal, one that will free us from the very things we feel burdened by, is an amazing feeling. It’s even more awesome to see his interest and excitement matches mine.

What ultimately is allowing me to feel this amazing despite following a completely new path is that I am allowing all potentialities to exist – even failure – and not caring that I may not know what is around the corner. This business may fail, but if I don’t try I fail anyway. I have nothing to lose.

My husband and I are already picking a name. I can’t share it here yet but in the process of brainstorming I remembered a name I had picked out years ago when I first began thinking of the possibility of opening my own business. When I told my husband the name and its origin, he immediately agreed it was the perfect name. To see the name written down again filled me with knowing of its rightness, of the rightness of all of this.

It is a wonderfully alive feeling.

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Golden Man

For the past few days I have been catching the image of a man out of the corner of my eye. When I turn around, he is not there, yet when I see him in my peripheral vision, I can see him clearly.

He is tall, lithe, and appears to be wearing no clothing or little clothing. He could be wearing a bodysuit-type of outfit, but it is hard to tell because when I see him he is completely golden in color.

When I first saw him, I was in a store and saw him behind me. I turned to ask him what he wanted but he was not there. I saw/felt him so clearly that I was certain there was a physical person there. I even saw that he was taller than me and had blonde hair. I actually thought he was my husband, initially, because his appearance and frame resembled my husband.

I saw him many times afterward and finally asked him mentally what he wanted, assuming he was Spirit attempting to communicate a message to a loved one. I didn’t get a response.

Every time I see this man, I feel him to be physically present. He does not feel like Spirit at all. Yet he appears like Spirit.

This morning he may have communicated with me because a voice I was not familiar with asked me what was wrong. I did not see him but I felt the voice come from beyond my Companion.

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Lucid to OBE: Room of Sunflowers

Last night was another long night of dreams. I once again awoke to tears. The clearing continues and I am so weary of it.

I did ask prior to sleep: If I can’t astral travel, can I at least lucid dream?

Lucid to OBE: Room of Sunflowers

I awoke at 5am feeling down about life in general. I felt the all-over body energy hug from my Companion as I let the disappointment in myself come to the surface. Overall, I felt/feel like a failure in this life. I asked my Companion why he created the personality and tendencies I have in this life. To me, they are too hard to overcome.

Buzzing energy began to increase around the top of my head and around the base of my spine. The energy around my spine wrapped around the front of my body and felt comforting. I fell asleep.

I found myself inside an unfamiliar house. There was a party going on, a celebration of the release of a sequence of movies. I overheard talk about my younger sister and realized that she was a part of this movie project and attending the party. I went in search of her.

I walked up carpeted stairs to a large room where most of the people were mingling. There was a group dancing and that is where I saw my sister. They were dancing oddly, with strange motions of the hands. It was almost like they were casting spells. I remember that as I watched I hoped no one would ask me to dance.

I ended up downstairs looking around. I wanted to snoop around in my sister’s things. I hadn’t seen her in so long. What was she like as a person now?

Standing there, the thought came to me that I was dreaming. I said aloud, “This is a dream”. Instantly the golden hued, brightly lit room turned dark and I couldn’t see. I moved toward the stairs in the dark and began to ascend.

I jumped up, trying to fly but found it difficult. I said aloud, “I can fly” and was able to hover for a moment but there must have been something wrong with my motivation to fly because I felt pulled back down.

At the top of the stairs I saw a window and headed for it. It was the only source of light and I could see the window clearly. I flew at it full speed reminding myself I could go through objects. When I got the window I went through it without incident and ended up floating outside in a courtyard. All I could see were the branches of a large tree. Beyond that, though, was a bright, golden light. I peered through the leafless branches and saw row upon row of giant sunflowers in a room not far away. I flew toward it.

The sunflowers were inside a room on the first floor. I had to go through another window to get to them.

I attempted a fly-through but was stopped this time and had to manually open the window and pull off the screen. When I went through, my foot caught on the screen. I could see the sunflowers and the large room. I recognized the room. I had been there in a previous dream.

Pulling against the screen, I struggled to get inside with no success. The effort of it caused me to lose motivation. I felt like a failure and gave up. The once bright room dimmed and turned black and I felt the familiar energy as I settled back into my body. I opened my eyes immediately and this caused my heart to feel like it was going to jump out of my chest. I checked my heart rate and it was steady, nothing like how it felt in my chest. I rolled over, disappointed in the entire experience.

Sunflower symbolism – a source of spiritual guidance pointing you in the right direction. Times may be difficult but you will persevere. They also symbolize warmth, abundance and prosperity.

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Confronting and Clearing

I had a very active dreams last night. I was so involved in them that it felt as if I had lived days in just one night.

Confronting and Clearing

I started with a dream in which I threatened to leave my husband and he called my bluff. I was so angry at him because I could not leave him. I would not leave my children or break up my family. I remember calling him my wife several times and feeling a familiarity with this notion but not understanding why.

I then found myself standing outside next to a young, black woman. I remember that she was very pretty, with curly, black hair pulled up in a pony tail. She was wearing high heels and a skirt and was nervous. She was on the phone at a phone booth in New York. I remember knowing her “story” as if it were my own. She left home for New York to live her dream and was calling her grandmother to ask her for money to help her pay the bills. She carried in her hand a pile of opened letters (bills) and I knew she had asked her grandmother for help in the past. If she didn’t get help this time, she would lose her home and be out on the streets. Her worry was my worry.

I heard her grandmother talking to her on the phone saying how much she missed her and how she wished she would come home. At the same time I felt the girl’s anxiety. Should she ask her for money? Should she disappoint her grandmother again? I wanted to help her.

Then I was her and staring at this man. He was tall with lots of hair on his face. He had so much fluff on his face that he looked like a cat! He was saying to me/her that he could help. I saw in my mind him helping a small mouse find its way out of a maze. I remember thinking about the symbolism of cats – their fierce independence. Maybe this fierce independence could sometimes be a flaw?

I returned to mulling over the first dream for some reason and my anger woke me up. I felt my guide and he said something and I immediately calmed down. I recognized the anger was misplaced. I also recognized the dreams were not about just me, but about others in this world. I knew I was not alone. My issues were also others’ issues. We were all the same.

Other Dreams

I returned to sleep and had a series of dreams involving my family. I was helping them by having them do the purification I did. There was a schedule issue and I ended up driving my brother very early in the morning – 5:30am. When we got there we had to turn around and I was driving and very disoriented and upset. I ended up crashing the car because I changed my mind about taking an exit.

I rushed to check on my brother and he was fine. The back end of my car had been crushed but then it fixed itself and I was back in the car. I went up another exit ramp and it was made up rocks and sand and there was a chair in the middle that had a message – “Road closed”. I stopped and backed up and then just parked. We saw a large semi-truck with its back opened. A man was telling everyone he needed to get rid of the stuff inside. It was all free, so I went to browse.

I had a blast picking out clothes and things and had such a huge pile that I could not carry it all. I remember picking out clothes and jewelry for me and also clothes for my mom and husband.

In the end, when the shop was empty, I began to leave and saw laying on the ground a miniature elephant figurine. Or so that is what I thought it was. When I looked closer, the elephant was being eaten by thousands of ants. It was real and had been alive! I stared in amazement at the tiny, perfect-looking elephant for some time, wondering why it was there.

There was then a scuffle behind me and I turned and saw someone pointing a gun at the guy who had been giving all the stuff away. I watched, wondering if I should be worried.

When I awoke I heard my guide say, “The bus route is changing”. I felt that this meant that a shift was in the works. It could be an individual shift, but likely a group one.

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I Created You

Something my Companion said a while ago is beginning to make sense to me.

He told me once, “I created you”. I didn’t understand.

There was a moment, though, when there was a glimmer or understanding. I will explain it now the best I can.

I saw this persona that has been me in this life for the majority of this life. I saw her as a creation of Self in the body. One possibility among countless possible combinations. Her purpose was to live in the body, become part of the body, and experience life in the body. In this she was limited, but this was purposeful.

Everything about this persona was created to prepare her to experience life from a certain viewpoint. In this, there came also an understanding of something else my Companion said, “I see through your eyes what I cannot see through my own”.

The creation of this persona served a purpose. This and other personas like her have all served a purpose.

Each persona returned to its creator upon death. Integration into the whole from which it was born. In some cases, the persona was able to glimpse their connection to the others but always only slightly.

For some reason, in this life, this persona, is breaking the mold. The purpose for which she and the others was created has been served. It’s time to expand past previous limitations.

Thus integration is occurring prior to death when in the past it occurred after.

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The Trap of the Human Condition

Honey, all the movements you’re starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I’ve made
See it all disappear without trace
And they call as they beckon you on
They say start as you need to go on
Start as you need to go on

I awoke from an upsetting dream with this song in my head. The above chorus was the main part I heard, but I also heard:

You said I’m gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for

The Trap of the Human Condition

The dream was disturbing because in it a father, who resembled Dwayne Johnson (The Rock), was selling his children to the sex industry. He had already sold his two youngest children and was in the process of selling his pre-teen daughter. I watched the process, disgusted but not interfering. It consisted of giving the girl money in exchange for seemingly harmless things and slowly increasing it to more and more sexual acts. This dream continued for some time but I will not go into detail here because it is disturbing.

I then walked to a black, wrought iron gate, and stood next to a young girl dressed in black (she was the same girl as before). I spoke to a group about the importance of education and the flaws of the system. Already perturbed about the sex industry experience I had, I was very insistent that the education system be changed. The first thing was to separate education from all sports and extracurricular activities, but specifically sports. This was challenged by someone and I explained my stance on the matter saying sports distracted from education.

I awoke with the above song in my mind and feeling very upset about humanity in general. I understood immediately that I was reviewing challenges of humanity. I was reminded of all the flaws that exist and became very upset and hopeless about humanity’s future. I was especially upset about the roles of the corporation and big business in their exploitation of the human condition. In fact, I became so disillusioned that I wished something to happen that would wipe out the human race almost completely so that it was forced to start again. I also did not want to be a part of humanity as the challenges are so high right now that the task of “saving” humanity seems outright impossible.

My Companion was close and I told him, “I don’t want to be a part of this”. I felt his understanding. I continued to be overwhelmed. I recognized that this reality was purposeful and that I was rejecting it and the thousands of lives it took me to get to this point. I felt I had failed the test of being human. I had allowed myself to become trapped by it.

The song continued to flood my thoughts:

And I know the mistakes that I’ve made
See it all disappear without trace

All I could think was, “Why?” He said to me, “We cannot know who we are without first knowing who we aren’t”. I thought about it and understood but it didn’t make me feel better.

We (humanity) are so much more capable than this.

Integration of the Old

These dreams are a continuation of a purging and integration process that has been on-going. I recognized my part in the dwindling spiral that has been humanity. But I am tired of looking at these things. It seems that is all I do in my sleep. Review. Analyze. Discuss. Repeat. Just when I think I have broken through all the impossible barriers created over many lifetimes, I seem to stumble onto more. When will it ever end?

I asked for it to stop. I am so tired of this process.

My Companion explained that I must integrate the Old completely. What I am beginning to understand is that this integration is not just of the old me but the old (3D) world as a whole. It is evident that this individual process I am going through is directly linked to the process the world is going through. The hopelessness, the despair, the feelings of overwhelm – these are being felt world-wide at ever increasing levels.

Considering the many thousands of years humanity has been on a downward spiral, the extent of time it will take to heal is in itself overwhelming. The end of this life will not see it healed. Sigh.

Sorry about the sombre post but this is where I am at today.

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Bear, John

The “dry spell” continues. Communication and connection with my Companion, guides and Team is almost nonexistent. I can initiate communication with my Companion and he will respond but he feels so very distant and the connection so weak that I wonder if it is real or if I am desperately making it up so that I feel better. Similarly, very few energy fluctuations are occurring. I only have occasional pulling and buzzing sensations around my head. These come and go and seem insignificant compared to past sensations. There is no indication that this will end, ether. Finally, there has been no contact with my Team/Council in some time. This doesn’t bother me, really, but it coincides with a cessation of channeled messages.

Last night I initiated contact with my Companion because I have been especially struggling this last week with low energy, lack of motivation, an overall hopeless disposition and an empty, disconnected feeling. I recognize that during this time I must travel this “road” seemingly alone, as it is my life to live. The tools have been given to me, I just need to use them. I try and feel I am doing much better than in the past, but it is so very hard to maintain the inner calm when I feel so disconnected from Source.

I was reminded to stay focused on paving a “new road” for myself, which I am doing with a new business venture. I recognize that if I want to change my life, I have to change my habits and step outside my comfort zone. This is especially hard and I feel like I am drawing straws. I heard a Christmas song in my head and the phrase, “Slow and steady wins the race”. The latter is in reference to me feeling I need to do everything all at once. I do not like having  a long “to do list” left unfinished, something this new business venture has me doing quite often while I tend to my children and daily family responsibilities. The former seems to be a reminder that the pay-off will be worth it in the end. I sure hope so.

Bear, John

Before bed I appealed to my Companion, asking for more connection and reassurance. It was granted.

I had a dream in which my mother told me that a teacher friend of hers quit his job unexpectedly. I remember telling her, “Sounds like he awakened”. She agreed.

We walked into a cafeteria-like setting where many older people were seated. I saw my mother’s friend but “he” turned out to be a “she”. She was short, probably only 5ft tall, and wearing a red robe. Her hair was cut short and she reminded me of a monk, except that she was female.

She invited me to sit down, so I did. She turned to me and then began to channel a message for me from my Companion. As she spoke, she was simultaneously drawing something on a piece of paper.

Her message is lost to me now but I recall the gist of it. The message was that I was not alone and to be patient. This break will not last forever. I am loved and cherished and forever connected to Source, even if I do not sense it at this time.

When the woman was finished channeling, she showed me what she had drawn. I saw a perfect portrait of the face of a man with a short beard and piercing eyes. She said to me, “Bear, John”. I remember seeing that the man had what appeared to be a large, grizzly bear blended into his hair, almost like a bear hat but the way it was drawn, the bear and the man were one.

I recognized, instantly, who the man was. I also recognized the significance of the bear.

I began to sob in the dream and could not stop crying. The crying woke me up and my eyes were still wet. I was aware of my Companion close by and my body was covered in loving energy. I felt to be wrapped in his embrace.

I connected hibernation with the bear and this made me sad. I don’t want to hibernate.

Prayer Book

Saddened by the message, I fell back to sleep and into another dream. In this dream I was walking through a library. A woman bumped into me and turned and said, “Excuse you” in a rude way. I got angry and began to yell at her, wanting to say, “You bumped into me!” but instead said, “Oh sorry, I tripped”.

I continued to talk, but quietly as if to myself, saying I was looking for a book my friend left me. I located it on the bottom shelf. It said, “Prayer Book” and was a small, maybe 8in square, and white and not very thick.

I sat on the floor and opened up the book. A woman was suddenly there with me and I told her, “A friend of mine left me a message”. I pulled out a hand written note tucked inside the pages. I do not remember what the hand written note said now. I just remember there was an entire story scrawled in ink with notes and pictures.

The dream ended and I awoke and knew the hand written note was Psalm’s 7.

Feeling sad still, I saw in my mind’s eye, “30 days”. This made me even more sad because I interpreted it to mean 30 days of “rest”. 30 days of feeling how I feel right now. If I have only felt this way for a little over a week, that leaves a very long time to go.

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A New Twist on Dreams

I had a string of very vivid dreams last night. I also slept through the night without waking.

Aftermath

In this dream I recall fleeing some kind of battle or war. I ended up in the mountains. I could see the valley below with a stream or river running through it. The colors are interesting here. The grass seemed tinged with blue and the terrain was rocky, colored in grays and pinks. It was as if someone painted it in watercolor. It did not seem like Earth.

I was with a group on the side of the mountain looking down. We joined another group who was struggling to survive. I remember helping them figure out ways to find food. The environment was harsh; going out at night very dangerous and during the day the only food was small, edible plants which were hard to find.

The group lived in a home with glass walls overlooking the valley below. I remember standing in a room looking down into the valley and discussing the plan of action: create snares in hopes of catching an animal. Problem was we would have to go out at night to set them.

We went out at night and this is when I remember seeing the tiger. It was stalking us. I yelled out in alarm and one of the group members lunged at it. The dream ended.

tiger

Crumbling Bathroom

This next dream was of a bathroom. I walked inside and it resembled exactly the bathroom I used in my mother’s house for much of my youth. It was in disrepair, though, the sheet rock exposed and crumbling about two feet from the ceiling. The pipes were leaky and there was a feeling that the whole ceiling would collapse at any moment.

I saw a woman – blonde, kind of overweight – and told her, “I’m not going in there. It is going to cave in any minute”.

I spent much of this dream analyzing why this bathroom was falling apart and how. I figured out that the whole floor had shifted down and caused the gap at the ceiling. I can still see the bathroom in such vividness. It resembled the bathroom before it was renovated – pink wallpaper and yellowing tiles. Very 1980s. It literally looked like someone was demolishing it piece by piece.

Walburg

This was the final dream. I was driving my ex-husband’s black, Nissan pickup truck. It was the truck we owned together when we were first married. I remembered it in every detail down to the custom made seat covers and gray dashboard.

I was going somewhere on a road trip. I recall entering a small town and thinking, “Something is going to happen”. I had a feeling that I could accept whatever happened. I could accept a delay and stay if need be.

I stopped in a parking lot near a creek. When I tried to turn the truck back on it made an odd noise and then nothing happened. The engine would not roll over yet the truck still had power and the radio still played.

I thought, “Great. Guess I am staying a while”.

An older man came up and asked me if I needed help. I said I did and he immediately began to look at the engine. I waited, fumbling with my clothes. I was not wearing any pants and was trying to find some shorts but they seemed way too small.

The man came around and told me that it was this piston-like thing that needed repair. He showed me a picture of the entire engine layout but it was too detailed for me to understand what he wanted me to look at. He said the part was inexpensive and that he would get it fixed. I was happy and thanked him.

I went inside the store I was parked at. There were rows upon rows of DVDs for rent. It reminded me of the old school rental places in the small town I grew up in. I knew though that I was in Walburg, not my hometown.

Up at the front counter I began talking to the clerk. Outside the window I saw buzzards jumping and fighting for scraps of some food. I pointed at them and looked out the glass door for a better view. There was this lone red hawk being bullied by the buzzards. I said, “Look! There is a hawk! They are trying to get him! He has a sharp beak, they better watch out!”. Sure enough, the hawk attacked and kept the buzzards at bay. I felt bad for the hawk, though. He seemed unable to fly.

I then noticed there were peach and pear trees all around the store. The peaches were ripe and I said, “You should pick those!” They were huge and looked delicious. We went outside and the clerk picked them. He gave me one and I took a bite and then ate the whole thing. It was so juicy!

I then entered this other building and a woman was behind a register. I browsed what appeared to be book but I don’t quite remember. There were two girls and one got in trouble and the woman was making her clean up a mess. I watched and the girls were passing notes. I intercepted one and read it. It said, “I love you” then in different handwriting, “I love you, too”. I was touched and told the woman who said, “Read the back”. I did, but can’t remember now what it said.

The last thing I remember in this dream was deciding I wanted to stay in Walburg.

A New Twist

Though these dreams are “normal” for the most part, there is a big difference here. Though I do not specifically remember this from a particular dream in this sequence, I recall seeing high above me two beings. They were floating and semi-transparent. They appeared gray, like ghosts, and we observing each of my dreams.

What is even stranger here is that I recognized one of these beings to be me. The other was my Companion.

It is very obvious to me now that these dreams were created for the other me, the one experiencing the dreams. The observer me was learning about the other me by watching how I reacted to the scenarios I was presented with. I recall the conclusion made by the observer me: I was not resisting what was being shown but accepting of and open to the lessons. I was noting symbols as they appeared. Symbols such as the tiger, the peaches, the buzzards, the hawk, the truck, the bathroom, the letter with the message of love. All of these things were noted by the observer and the experiencer.

Upon waking I knew what the dreams represented.

The war zone was a memory of some other time and/or experience. The bathroom was symbolic of the breaking down of my distant past; a healing of this time in my life. The Walburg dream is also healing of the past, specifically with my ex. I was wiling to accept this past and love myself despite the “mistakes” I made.