Monthly Archives: July 2015

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Dream: Back to School

The “back to school” theme returns to my dreams. I wonder what I am missing? Why does this theme continually come up?

Back to School

In this particular dream I was returning to school and once again at the college level. Prior to going I was trying to decide what to wear, putting on different outfits. I wanted to wear white but the shirts I chose all had small stains on them. Eventually I just decided to wear one with a yellowish stain despite worries about how I might look. Unfortunately, it caused me to miss the school bus.

I entered the school building, walked up to a table of students and sat down. The teacher looked at me and raised her eyebrow. I knew she had not seen me in in class before. I had not been attending. My schedule had been changed and my 1st period was Dance. I watched as some of the students practiced their moves. I felt out of my element. I cannot dance.

I got up to use the bathroom because, well, I wanted to waste time since I knew nothing about how to dance. The teacher sent me a questioning look and I sent back a look that said, “I have to go”. I didn’t know where the bathroom was at first, but followed signs. Inside was a room full of technological devices. I found I was carrying a large speaker. I took it and sat down on it. Another student began talking to me. We had a conversation about singers and types of music. I said all music was the same and the student disagreed.

We were soon discussing genres of music and I was again at the table where my class was gathered. I suggested a project: We all listen to music completely opposite of what we normally do. I said, “For example, if you listen to Whitney Houston then you will listen to George Strait” My theory was that if you did this willingly then eventually you would enjoy the other music and see why others would like it. I was very excited about the assignment.

Class was over and we dispersed. I did not know my schedule and tried to locate it on my phone but couldn’t log in. I went up to the admin offices and asked a woman and she pointed up to the screen above her head which was of the campus website. She said it was there and told me to log in. I told her I couldn’t and she said try again. So I did, and got my schedule right away.

My next class was Economics.

Reluctantly I went to class. I sat next to the other students and noticed they were all waiting. The teacher was late. What is odd here is that we were all lounging about on sofas and cushioned chairs in a lobby area, not in a classroom.  I told someone, “I don’t like this class”. I was asked why and said, “Too much politics involved”. I also remember saying I had already taken it, that I could understand it but just didn’t like it as a subject.

When the teacher finally arrived he was older and very casual. Everyone liked him and I began to feel more comfortable.

Interpretation

When I woke up I immediately had the urge to quit my job. It caused all kinds of thoughts to materialize and I felt confused as to what to do. If I leave my job then what will I do for a living? What is it about my job I dislike? What can I do to perhaps try to resolve the situation without leaving my job? Which part of me wants to leave and which part wants to stay? What is the best decision?

When the thoughts went away, I began to hear Pearl Jam’s, Daughter. I awoke to this song about a week ago when having similar considerations about career. The specific part of the song: “Don’t call me daughter, not fit to, the picture kept will remind me”. Why was I hearing this song?

The dream above seems to indicate that I was struggling with a decision that affects my family’s finances. There is an idea that I have to “try something new” as indicated by listening to a new type of music, one opposite of what I would normally listen to. The speaker is indicative of me wanting to be heard.

The rest of the dream suggests that I am avoiding class – dance class being learning to let go and enter a new stage of life; economics being symbolic of money and money-related lessons in life.

Interestingly enough, “class” itself indicates a fear of failure.

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Changes are Coming

Things have been different since the 1st of July. I am different and things are getting stranger and stranger.

Instructions: Changes are Coming

I am being given instructions pretty much non-stop. I hate using the word “instructions” because really it is not that I am being told what to do. It is more like I have an urge to change that comes from within and is accompanied by a knowingness of the specifics of the change.

Not only do I know what the changes are and how to begin creating the changes, but I see glimpses of the final product – the final “changed” me. My reaction to this is satisfaction rather than rejection. I like what I am seeing.

This is a brief list of the changes I am being asked to make:

1. A complete overhaul of my diet. This is the message I received:

Reduce toxin intake by eating organic, grass-fed meats; organic, pesticide-free produce; limited canned items; no processed foods; no sugar or sugar substitutes; organic, grass-fed dairy products.

Vegetarian diet encouraged because meat contains toxins despite being organic and grass fed. Meat contains the cellular memory of the animal. This transfers to the one who ingests the meat acting like a “toxin” in its own way.

With this information also comes a strange repulsion of certain foods. For example, I was cooking ground beef (not organic), making hamburgers for my family. The smell of it bothered me and I kept feeling I should not eat it. I continued to cook it for my family, trying to ignore the weird feelings and repulsion I was having. I had no such repulsion when I cooked a meal of organic pork chops with all organic veggies.

Another example is that when I am eating meats I sometimes become sympathetic toward the animal I am eating. I see an image of the animal in my mind and feel I should not eat animals at all. Interestingly, after such a sympathetic reaction I saw a video on FB of a child crying about eating turkey, calling them “animal-people”, and I recognized this as a confirmation that my reactions to eating meat were purposeful.

2. With the strange repulsion comes a distinct dissatisfaction with my normal workout routine. I dread it and struggle to push through it. I feel inclined to stop and there comes with this a feeling that the way the body looks is not as important to how well it functions. Too much focus on appearance triggers the Ego and distracts from purpose. The focus is away from previous cycles initiated by the Ego. We are not the body, we are stewards of it.

3. Stop wearing make-up and let my hair be natural. I get messages like this when I look in the mirror and smile when I see my reflection feeling/thinking, “I am beautiful just the way I am”. I also hear my Companion ask me, “Who would you be had you not changed for others?” This comes along with a message to “Be yourself” and “strip away the lies”. In my mind I see myself glowing and radiant, wearing comfortable clothes and not caring what I look like.

4. Stay in my body as much as possible. OBEs are counterproductive and slow progress. I still want them and ask for them but am told they will be few and far between. I am told I will get information without going OOB. I do not need to leave my body to communicate with my Council. I will go “in-between” and this in itself will become more useful to me than going OOB.

5. Finish what was started. Though I am eager to get started on my path, I must complete the cycle of action that was previously started. In particular, raise my children and focus on family. Though this may seem to slow me down, I cannot proceed until it is done. Individual pursuits will be introduced but priority always is given to family. I will know when to move forward.

These changes will be gradual. To force them all at once invites frustration and slows progress.

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Dream: Ship Drop

Fitful night of sleep last night. I have been having tons of pulling/pressure in various locations on my head. It feels like a vortex of energy pulling and makes the hairs on those parts of my head stand up. I suspect this pressure is continued work by my guides to help me adapt to the Higher aspect infiltration.

Ship Drop

Lots of odd dreams but this one is the most interesting. In it, I was aboard a large, ship. It was so huge that two football stadiums could fit inside! I was led into an auditorium-type room with long tables horizontal to one another. It reminded me of a military mess hall. The walls were steel gray in color and made of metal. Everything seemed to have the same gray coloring as the walls, even the tables we sat at.

I was waiting, feeling a bit out of my element and not knowing exactly what was going on. I was sitting with a small group and there were row upon rows of empty tables. There was a small group of maybe five people. These were the only other people I saw and they were quite a distance away. Two of them were complaining of how they could not get together (sexually). They had just been reunited after a long time apart and wanted to get reacquainted but the rules were that we were to wait aboard this ship until we were dropped at our destination.

At this point it was as if I was receiving instructions about what was coming next. In my mind I experienced what I was being told, but in reality I was just sitting at my table, listening. What I saw/experienced in my mind was us stripping our clothing off – we had to be naked – and getting into line to be dropped from the ship. I then experienced a falling sensations and saw below me a group of islands comes into focus. I, with my group, landed in the water and then swam to the nearest island. When we reached the island I felt a sense of relief and happiness as the beach seemed to rise up and greet us.

I had questions: How would I make such a long swim? I then saw an inner tube materialize. I then said, “I will get sunburned”. There was no answer to that, almost like it was a ridiculous concern. I spoke with the person giving me the instructions about the “plan”. I knew the drop was to be over the Hawaiian Islands at the island of Oahu. Yet I did not pronounce the island that way. I said something like, “Ohapuana” or something like that. But our final destination was the Big Island but I kept calling it “Miami” for some reason and this confused me but I could not figure out why in the dream. There was a discussion about changing the drop location so we could get to the Big Island easier. I remember saying the name, “Rusty Boyston” to someone but I have no idea who he is.

We then lined up to prepare for the drop. I took a detour to the bathroom and rushed to rejoin my group. I worried I would be left behind or not be ready (naked) for the drop.

Then, I became semi-lucid and recall being taken to a room. A door opened and there was this strange, alien-looking creature staring back at me. I startled and then realized it was not an actual alien but rather a suit. It was a mottled green color and the helmet was very large and egg-shaped with a horizontal slit where the eyes should be. It reminded me of a scuba diving suit. I recognized it was only a suit and felt better. That is when I awoke.

Interpretation

I suspect this dream is a symbolic representation of instructions I received during sleep. The ship at first appeared to be a ship for water but the dream revealed it was a different kind of ship, one that flew. Hawaii is likely symbolic of the reward waiting for me at the end of my journey. The nakedness could be me feeling vulnerable but I think it is symbolic of the stripping away of all the old in preparation for the coming changes.

All in all, I feel the dream was answers to questions I have been asking my guides about what is happening with me and what the end result will be. There appears to be a link to E.T.s and my fear of them. I seem to be accepting their existence more and more.

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Putting Together the Pieces of the Puzzle

Much has transpired since the night of the 1st of July when I awoke disoriented and concerned from a strange energy phenomenon that I can only describe as an energy swap or exchange. In the time since then I have returned to my heart center and once again found the calm.

Soul Exchanges and Soul Braids

I have been talking about “walk-in’s” for some time, ever since the last major download I received brought the term to my attention. The confusion it caused me has been minimal, thankfully, and now I am fully understanding the purpose for the receipt of the term.

“Walk-in” is just a term meant to convey an experience that, for most, is very difficult to describe. It encompasses much more than simply one soul coming into a body when another walks out. This is the most commonly accepted definition of walk-in, but it can be misleading. For me, the term “soul exchange” (energy swap) makes so much more sense as does the idea of a “soul braid”. Source

I am still in the process of determining what exactly is occurring with me, but currently I feel to be of two parts – the Old and the New. This falls in line with the definition of a soul braid. I have, in fact, felt this way for a very long time and in the past was quite disturbed by my seemingly “split personality”. I have even had people close to me comment about the “other” me. It is my hope that this split version of me is soon to be dissolved and I have asked for this many times over the years. It is very difficult to live in opposition to yourSelf!

A major complication of a soul braid is exactly what has been my experience – the fight for control between the two aspects. It is a particularly difficult path. I have been aware of my other aspect since 2002. Contact was initiated because I had called out for help, and so help was given. I had no idea what it meant at the time and am just now beginning to piece it together.

What I believe is occurring with me right now is a slow integration of the two parts of me, with the final result being a switch completely and permanently into the New. So technically, what I feel is occurring is that the braid will become a complete exchange.

As I Remember more and add these pieces to the huge puzzle of my life, I will share it with you. Until then, this is what I have come up with so far.

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Questions Answered

My experiences from yesterday brought about questions. Tons of them. And lots of confusion to boot.

This is to be expected as the changes you are currently undergoing are quite intense. Internal structures are being broken down and built back up again. This tearing down of the Old is a necessary evil. Do not be disheartened. You are the Phoenix and will arise from the ashes anew.

Trust the process. Trust in yourSelf. This is not a struggle unless you want it to be. This is a manifestation of all that you are and is truly beautiful as you are beautiful in all your forms. These aspects of you are reuniting, re-identifying with the whole, Divine being that you are.

Your heart center is your center of operations now. The mind you cannot escape but you can quiet it, subdue it and control it. This is a terrifying prospect for the Old – all this appears as subterfuge and change to her – so she will likely give you quite a battle in the coming months as she continues to test the boundaries. In this we advise you to stay strong and persevere for that is the only way to come out of this experience victorious. Giving up now will only delay the inevitable whether to later in this life or into your next incarnation. Do you wish to delay it yet again?

Of course not. But why do you seem so distant to me when so recently you were close?

This is an illusion, of course. Do you not see that? Am I not here right now? Am I now a part of you at every moment, every turn? Have I not been there for you from the very beginning? From within and without we are One, we are every part of each other intertwined and whole for no part of you is not a part of me and no part of me is without you. You are not alone nor have you ever been alone and never will you ever be alone.

Do not let this illusion convince you to forsake yourself.

I am wondering about this “walk-in” phenomenon. Why is it that I feel I am one and what does it mean, if anything?

You are a walk-in. You yourself know this, stated this and understand it to be true. Whether it happened yesterday or twenty years ago is not of importance. What is important is that you are coming into yourSelf now, when in the past yourSelf was lost to you, caught up in the pursuits of the Egoistic mind of another You you allowed to take lead. In effect you have been ‘riding along’, waiting for the opportune time to take the lead and that time is upon you now. And so you know this, understand this in your heart and are trying to convince your otherSelf to go along with the changes you wish to impart. This is not an easy task and one that often takes many years to accomplish. To rush it is to overstep your boundaries and upset the Old to the point of rejection. Do you want this?

Of course not. So I have been sharing this space with the other all this time?

Yes. And more you will Remember soon, but be patient. The Old Remembers with you and she can only handle so much. Eventually she will resign herself to the Truth and concede.

I understand. Thank you.

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Remember

I meditated twice yesterday. Once in the afternoon and once prior to bed last night. While doing so, my Companion was close and communicative, helping me focus in on my heart center.

During the afternoon meditation I had several conversations, but almost all were lost to me upon coming out of my reverie. The only thing I remember hearing is something about the “Christ consciousness” and how I was not accepting or absorbing it. After this meditation concluded, my heart space almost hurt it was pulling so strongly. I also felt energy movement in my second chakra.

The evening meditation was quite different. I recall hearing some very profound things from my Companion but the specific wording is lost to me now. One of the messages was that I needed to communicate my true Self to others. I got with this message a feeling of “lack of fulfillment” and lingering fear. The message was clear that if I did not open myself up to new experiences, take risks and explore the multitudinous opportunities provided by the physical universe, I would not expand beyond my current position.

During this in-between state my Companion began to ask me what I felt when I focused on my heart. I immediately stated, “I am a walk-in” and there was no doubt in my mind. I said it a few more times, feeling it out as if I needed convincing of my own Knowingness. Memories flooded my mind, memories of when the walk-in could have happened. I became confused in trying to locate when this event occurred and asked to be shown what I had obviously forgotten. My Companion told me more was coming and that it would be “intense”.

As I lay in meditation I became distracted by an intense itch inside my left ear. If you have ever had your ear itch then you know how impossible it is to scratch the inside of your ear! This itching came about as soon as I put in my earplugs, so those were out the entire night. Eventually the itch went away.

When I finally settled down to sleep and began to drift off, I heard my Companion say, “Remember”. This brought me to full awareness and I asked him, “Why did you say that?” He said, “Remember who you are”. I was covered in wonderful, calming energy when he said this, and soon after drifted off to sleep.

Energy Swap

I awoke feeling disoriented and worried. I had memory of something that I cannot describe with any precision. This “something” seemed to be in my past but also seemed to have just happened. It is hard to pinpoint when the event occurred as it seemed to be something from the past but also to be happening in the Now.

Upon waking my Companion was close and I was struggling to make sense of the event, going over the memory of it in my mind but unable to fully process it. I will try to describe what I remember happening the best I can, but it is hard.

What stands out to me the most of the energy contained in this experience. I felt to be split into various parts but aware of all of these parts. There also was another presence that was pure consciousness like me, but separate from me. This consciousness and I seemed to change places – each part of me changed places with corresponding parts of this other consciousness. The experience of it was a swirling of energy and a shifting up and down and back and forth. It was almost as if I were being shaken very vigorously. This is unlike the vibrations I have felt as this was pieces of me shifting very quickly, exchanging energy and then shooting back almost like the protons, neutrons and electrons of an atom. In fact, the atom is probably the perfect analogy here.

My disorientation here had me frantically looking for reference points to reestablish my link with reality. I searched my memory and found myself quickly, which was a relief. Yet I was still very worried about what had happened and trying to figure it all out so that it made sense to me.

Remember

I was quickly calmed by my Companion and when I asked him what was happening this is what he told me, “In the inside, there is chaos. We will fix this and we will thrive. Remember who you are”.

When I heard this I felt odd. Again I cannot describe it but I will say that I felt urged to write down his message, which I did immediately. I then wrote down what I knew to be a “trigger” word – “Remember”. Knowing this was a “trigger” did not help me as I wondered, “Trigger to what?” No answer came but memories of all the times I have heard my Companion say this words and phrases containing this word flooded my memory.

“Do you not remember me?”

“Remember who you are”.

“I am the part that Remembers. You are the part that Forgets”.

“Remember”

Overwhelmed, I began to try and focus on something else, anything else. My body was the most obvious place to focus and I instantly recognized a shooting pain in my left ear. Interestingly, I knew the pain in my ear was related. How? I don’t know.

I then began to rationalize the experience as just a part of the ear pain. Perhaps the disorienting feeling was an upsetting of my body’s equilibrium? This could explain the feeling.

“That’s all it is”, I told myself. And with that, I distanced myself from the experience and fell asleep.

This morning I feel normal, though I think I have an ear infection, and the memory of what happened last night seems a dream. Yet I know it was not, is not. There is more, so much more, that I will not write it here as it would make the post too long and it is already way too long.