Monthly Archives: September 2015

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OBEs: Floating on Water

As I lay on my back as instructed, I found myself in the in-between having a conversation with my Companion. I didn’t see him, but I could clearly hear what we were saying and I was very aware of what I said. I remember knowing very well what I was saying as I spoke to him about the woman who I had just seen with the little girl. The woman was the little girl’s caretaker and I called her, “Corilla”. I remember that she was standing next to me, but I all I remember about her was that she was blonde.

At the same time I was talking with my Companion I could hear my children playing in the background. This clued me into the fact that I could exit my body. It appeared I received the go ahead to do so at that time and so I took the chance and moved my body toward the corner of the bedroom.

OBE 1

I felt my arms and legs detach but I was unsure if I was really OOB for some reason. It felt very real and my mind was of two aspects. I felt I needed to merge the two in order to proceed but was unable to focus my thoughts well for some reason. I saw that the room was shifty and in grays and whites and so I began to move toward the door and out of the room. What is funny is that I was in the computer room, not my bedroom.

I lifted myself into the air, a mass of rolling energy, and flew down the stairs. My energy was not strong, so I looked down at my hands to gain clarity. I saw them, though they were blurry. I looked down and saw the wood of the stairs clearly and then rushed toward the door. My intent was to get to the front door and outside as fast as I could.

My momentum slowed as I re-entered my body. I heard my Companion ask me, “Why were you going outside? What was your intent?”

I said, “I wanted to go into the water”, and I imagined myself floating on tropical waters under the sun. To me, at this time, this destination seemed appropriate.

OBE 2: Floating on Water

With that, I felt I could exit again and so I did, this time rising up vertically out of my body and away. I immediately began singing aloud and felt my energy lighten.

There was a string of doubt that rushed into my mind at this time. “What if I don’t find the water?” I pushed the thought down and sang more loudly, intent on creating the water in which to float blissfully.

As I sang and floated in the darkness I began to feel the energy shifting and soon found myself floating in warm water. I could feel the waves and the buoyancy of my body floating among them. It was wonderful and I sang even more loudly as I prepared to open my eyes and take in the scenery.

Then another thought came into my mind. “What if I drown?!” This though I knew would destroy my projection and I banished it as soon as it came. I continued to sing and float, enjoying the moment.

Unfortunately, the thought of drowning came back as I attempted to open my eyes. I came back into my body hearing my Companion say, “You must control your thoughts”.

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Semi-Lucid Dream: Heart Expansion

I awoke around 5:30am and asked to astral project. I fell back to sleep quickly.

I gradually began to gain lucidity. I was in a shallow, rocky pool with others like myself. We were spread out and discussing the healing processes we had each been through. I felt comfortable but at the same time was not sure who these people were or where I was.

There was an older gentleman near me who I had been working closely with. He was very familiar to me. He had blonde hair, or maybe it was white, but had deep furrows in his brow and laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. I assumed him to be about 20 years older than me.

We were talking about the healing sessions but I can’t recall it in detail now. I felt drawn to the man and so moved in closer to him as we talked. There was a moment when I felt a decision was made to proceed to the next “step” in the process. I remember looking at the water and seeing that we were sitting inside a rocky, clear stream. The boulders were dark and smooth and the water shallow but deep enough to cover our legs as we sat in it. I fiddled with several red bricks that were at my feet and looked out of place. I said, “The bricks moved” as I tried to put them back in place.

The man said something to me and I turned and looked at him. His eyes were smiling even though he wasn’t. I made the “decision” then and fell into his arms. It seemed as if I melted into him and at that moment I didn’t care about my life or the consequences of this decision I made. All I knew is that I would give up everything I had to be right here, right now – forever.

As I held onto him I was approached by a little girl. She had dark, curly hair and was very timid-like. A woman was behind her and I felt she was her guide/caretaker. The little girl touched my knee and spoke to me.

“Quiero la verdad”, she said to me softly. But I heard her also say, “Tengo la verdad” at exactly the same time.

Confused, I caught only the word, “verdad” and knew immediately the translation.

“Truth”, I said aloud. “She said, ‘Truth'”.

I then looked behind her at the woman guardian and felt we needed to invite the little girl to/into us.

Heart Connection

The sensation of the connection I had just made woke me up and I lay there in total bliss as the energy of my heart chakra expanded. I felt the presence of my Companion close and knew something was up, but didn’t care. This indescribable feeling was all I cared about. I also knew the little girl who spoke Spanish was me and that she brought with her “truth”.

I tried to figure out what the feeling I felt was. I had been, still was, willing to give up everything for the feeling. It was similar to intense sexual attraction without the sexual part. It was like I had found my other half and there was no way I was about to let it go. (As I type this my heart is expanding again and the feeling makes me want to cry with joy)

My Companion said to me, “We are One”, and as I worried the feeling would leave he said, “It is always there. It will always be there”.

The feeling intensified and I caught myself holding my breath.

“It is beautiful”, I said to him. And it was/IS.

I recognized then that some of my other chakras were sporadically pulling and filling with the blissful energy as well. I felt my second chakra and my third eye the most intensely, but my root chakra also pulled. As I focused on them, I heard my Companion comment on the thoughts I had. My second chakra is nearly cleared and soon there will be a full alignment and the energy will pour in from the top and the bottom. I could only imagine how that would feel. His comment to that was, “Soon”.

I didn’t wan to move or leave. I said to him, “I don’t want this to stop – ever”.

I was instructed to relax and let go, so I did. An image then came to me of a shelf with hay, similar to the nesting boxes of chickens. I saw myself selecting eggs, but these were no ordinary eggs. They were huge, like ostrich eggs, and each was a vibrant color. I saw blue first and reached for it and held it in my hands. It was larger than my hand! I then became fully lucid and said, “They are the chakras!” as I saw a yellow one, an orange one, and a purple one. I looked for the red one and when I saw it the image vanished and I saw myself surrounded by a circle which was clear on the inside but outlined in solid red.

I woke up fully then, still feeling the amazing sensation expanding from my heart center. I rolled over and our conversation continued, but I don’t recall it all now. I was instructed to lay on my back, so I did. I also recall being told to not resume smoking (I quit my one-cigarette a night a week ago today).

The next part will be in my next entry for this one is too long already.

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Hatching

As I settled down to sleep last night, I felt the familiar presence of my Companion signaling he wanted to communicate a message to me.

I felt I should lay on my back and focus on my third eye, so I did. Immediately my third eye began to pull as the energy increased. Then, an image popped into my head of my aura as it pulsated around my physical body. It was a deep indigo color and I could see it fluidly moving all around me. I laughed out loud at the sight of it. “I’m Indigo!” I said to him mentally.

I continued to lay there, feeling my third eye pulling and sensing the movement of energy throughout and around my body. It was then that another image popped into my head. It was of a newly hatched baby chick. At the same time I heard my Companion say, “We are merged. We are One”.

As the messages settled in, I wondered why I was shown a newly hatched chick when before I had been given the analogy of a butterfly in a cocoon. Why would I be shown a chicken now?

This question was not answered but instead I heard, “We are One”.

I knew this to always have been the case, so was confused at first. Then I understood. Whatever process I had been going through previously had culminated in this….hatching.

“You are changed. You will see the world differently”.

I thought of the message I had received not long ago preparing me for some changes, especially to my perception and thoughts. I had noticed them – the dream-like feeling, the feeling of being naked, the random thoughts and strange fears rising up out of nowhere. Then I thought I needed to consider how it felt to be “newly born”. What was it like?

Everything is new and the senses are bombarded and feel raw initially. The bright light is blinding. The loud noises are unbearable. The cold is piercing. It takes time to adjust and to learn to walk on new feet.

Is this what would be happening to me? When?

“Tonight”.

I didn’t really believe the answer.

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Strange Exposed Feeling Brings a Message

I’ve been meaning to mention a strange feeling I’ve been getting for some time now, but for some reason I keep forgetting. Today, though, it reappeared and I vowed to mention it before I once again forgot.

The feeling is a curious one and I think it goes hand in hand with the feeling of “living a dream” that I’ve been also having. For this entire week when I go out in public I feel naked and exposed. I freak out because I swear I forgot to put on clothing. I have to actually look down at my body to make sure I’m not naked!

The feeling of it is identical to similar dream experiences I’ve had. One minute I am fine and going about my day when suddenly I notice someone looking at me strangely or some other aspect of my surroundings stands out to me. Then, it is like time stands still and I suddenly feel naked. Right then and there I have to look down at my clothes or I focus on the feel of my clothes to make sure I am not naked.

It is so weird!!

Today, when it happened, it did not cause much concern – I am getting use to it. Yet later, when I was sitting in front of the T.V. the memory of it came back to me suddenly along with the notion that life IS a dream and this sudden exposed feeling is meant to remind me of that.

But why?

That is when the thought entered my mind both as a question and a statement – “I am resisting/Why are you resisting?”

I was thrown into present time instantly and a strange feeling accompanied it; the feeling of being in the presence of my Council. For some reason when communicating with them I feel like a little child who has done something wrong. I was overwhelmed with a sudden mild panic.

After a few deep breathes, I calmed down. “Resisting? Resisting what?”, I wondered to myself and to them at the same time.

I began to remember the times in my OBEs when I resisted. It always ended the same: me back in my body prematurely, having to start all over again. Only when I did not resist and followed where the experience led did my OBEs last and reveal whatever they were suppose to.

It appears I am being told to “go with the flow” and allow life to show me my path.

But it is so, so slow compared to an OBE.

And everything still feels really, really weird. It has been like this all week!

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More Physical Manifestations of the Shift

With all the changes in energy and their effects upon me, I figure I should post the current manifestations I am having. If you are experiencing similar, please let me know. There is an intense building of energy right now that is creating these intense reactions and I believe this will culminate in the next Starseed activation period. According to my Council, the next Activation will occur with the full moon in the month of October. This does not align with what others are saying about the September full moon but I believe my Council over the predictions I have seen all over the net.

Physical Manifestations of the Shift

  • Anxiety
  • Dizziness
  • Increased heart rate
  • tingling sensations
  • heart chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • third eye energy sensations/pulling
  • root and second chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • spontaneous K rising up to lower heart chakra
  • energy helmet when doing yoga or meditating
  • vision changes – feels like I’ve entered a “dream”
  • sudden calm and/or feelings of joy
  • increase thirst
  • increase and then decrease in hunger
  • sleep disturbances – can’t fall asleep, toss and turn, strange dreams
  • feeling of being “done” with life
  • random thoughts that do not fit and are negative or fearful
  • difficulty controlling random thoughts
  • daydreaming – gazing at clouds or sky or staring into space
  • feeling of being shifted to this time/space from somewhere else
  • moments of intense clarity/knowingness
  • sensitive to loud noises

For me, the current changes are beginning to increase in intensity, especially the random thoughts that pop into my head. These thoughts are along the lines of fears and worries that are seeping out through my subconscious into my consciousness. For example, as I tried to sleep last night, my thoughts immediately went to my middle son and I had horrid images of him being molested and tortured by a man. I tried to push the images out of my mind and heard my Companion ask me if I could accept the possibility of that occurring (this was not that it would but that I need to accept that things like that happen all the time on Earth and it could happen to me). I completely rejected it and said, “I would shoot whoever it was in the head if they tried to hurt my child!” I fought back other images of similar torturous things that are done to innocents as well as a huge lump of grief and despair. I realized in this, though, that I did not have images of my daughter come into my mind, or any female children. With this came the understanding that such things have happened along my time track to my sons and others’ sons over and over and will need to be cleared in order to make this life more productive and end a long cycle.

There are other less intense random thoughts coming in, but I cannot remember them now. I believe the key here is to look at them objectively in order to recognize the lesson they come to teach. These are issues that are rising up to be released and the only way to release them is to take a look at them and allow them to teach you what it is they have to teach.

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The Return of Desire

Did I mention that my desire has returned? It has. This is not just physical, sexual, passionate desire – this is the desire of the second chakra which includes so much more than sexual desire.

I didn’t really know for sure that it had returned. I had an inkling it had, especially since I started taking Maca root and had some pretty intense K rising sensations afterward. However, last night, as I was preparing for sleep, I had a vivid flash of my guide standing in front of me. He was radiant and just how he has been appearing lately when we meet up in dreamtime. He has dark, almost black hair, and piercing blue eyes. I don’t really pay attention to his physique or much other than his hair and eyes, but I know him when I see him. Interestingly, he is exactly how I wish I appeared in this life – I’ve always wanted dark hair and blue eyes.

What is different about seeing him this time is that I had an instant desire to be with him rise up from within. It hit me so fast that it surprised me and I laughed because I recall that I use to have that reaction every time I saw my guide. This was back when I first was learning about him and getting to know this part of me (2003-2006). Sadly, the reaction to seeing him caused his image to fade, but not without me recognizing that desire had returned to my life.

For me, this is a fantastic progression from a total lack of desire of anything in life!

To be honest, I thought I would never feel desire for anything ever again. Without it, I felt dead and I had gotten so use to the feeling that I forgot how it felt. The absolute joy at recognizing its return was terrific. I asked my guide if was going to see him in that way during my dreams. I knew instantly I wasn’t but got a good chuckle from him in response.

In response to this I hear/feel the message, “Welcome back!” Indeed!

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De-Compartmentalize

It all started a few days ago. The clouds here in Texas were extraordinary, making the sky seem so vast and beautiful. I kept finding myself gazing up into as I was driving, willing myself to be in it instead of here on the ground. It was like this for four days straight and each time I could not take my eyes off the sky.

Then there came another phenomena along with this fixation of mine on the sky. I began to get ideas of being above the Earth and then placing a miniature version of myself into the globe. It was like I was a giant and shrunk a part of myself down and placed her in this environment. With this idea came the thought, “I put myself here to experience this” and I felt so tiny yet so big all at the same time.

That evening, I awoke knowing I had been working through the night. With this knowing came odd little tidbits of information that disappeared as soon as I tried to focus upon them. Later that day, I suddenly recalled with great knowingness what had been discussed. I knew without doubt that I had separated from myself, disconnecting from all memory of Who I Am, to be placed on Earth and have this experience. This was more than just a normal knowing, it was a sensation of Being. I recalled the feeling of the moment of this disconnect and had the knowing that I could undo it anytime I chose.

Yet again, yesterday, I found myself fixated on the clouds and recalled the idea of being shrunken and placed into Earth. As I rounded the corner and prepared to enter the highway to head home, I began suddenly aware of my thoughts, thoughts that had been going on without much notice by me. I had been thinking of my night’s work and discussions and knew that I was entering into a new phase as I merged onto the highway.

Almost as soon as I was on the highway I felt my right arm tingle as if a hand were placed upon it. Then, looking up at the clouds, I began to notice a dream-like quality to my experience and my vision shifted. I was unconcerned as I drove, though, having full faith in my Team of guides.

It was then that an energy began to form on the left side of my head. It expanded and remained as I drove. Then my heart center began to buzz with energy. This is when the song, “Come Home” was playing and I began to get tears in my eyes. I felt suddenly very sad as if my time here was drawing to an end.

When I got into the garage I lingered in my car in the dark as the song played. I took off my sunglasses but kept reaching to remove them time and time again because my vision was dark and tunnel-like and I swear I felt the pressure of the glasses over my ears and against my temples. Things seemed very dream-like and I kept thinking of the visual I had of seeing myself put down into a tiny Earth. How surreal!

Compartmentalize and De-compartmentalize

Last night was yet another night of restless sleep. I awoke often and then struggled to return to sleep.

One of my early wakings was accompanied by one word in my mind: Compartmentalize. I wondered about it and knew it was related to the rewiring that was currently underway. I acknowledged it and then went back to sleep.

At one point when I awoke, my Companion was close and said, “We are in this together”. Imagine waking, not remembering your dreams and suddenly hearing this. What would you think? I got a bit concerned. Why would he say that to me unless things were about to get difficult?

I then thought of the word compartmentalize again and knew without knowing how that my Companion was referring to this process, but why? He said to me, “You are different. Do you feel it?”

I answered, “Yes, I do, but I am not sure how”.

Then he said to me, “We are in this together. Remember that. This is why we are here.”

I wondered what he meant and he replied, “Your thoughts will change. Your focus will shift. This process will be different”.

There came with these words a memory of the random thoughts that had been entering my mind lately. They come and I struggle to shut them down, when in that past it was easy. I knew this was an example of what he meant by this new “process”. I wondered if I would go crazy, but felt this was extreme and unlikely.

Considering all of it, I asked if it was like what occurred in May and he said, “No. We are integrating”.

I finally got out of bed after tossing and turning for another hour. As I woke up, I thought again of the word compartmentalize but knew I had it wrong. It was the opposite. I was de-compartmentalizing. We were taking down walls.

Here is more information on what compartmentalization is if you are interested.

What This Means

Honestly, I am unsure what exactly all this means but I feel I was being prepared for it over the last few nights. The energy has been intense and shifty – one minute calm and the next minute very turbulent. Thankfully my reactions have been bearable thus far. The panic that comes from the sudden onset of dizziness is controllable and does not last long. I have a fear of leaving my body at inopportune times and the dizzy spells trigger this fear. It really does feel like I am shifting OOB when I have these sudden shifts in perspective and am overwhelmed with dizziness. My vision threatens to blackout and I can feel myself leaving my body. Not fun when you are driving!! Who wouldn’t have a panic attack?

I suspect this is why my Companion told me, “We are in this together”. He wants me to remember this is the plan and to trust in the process. As I type this, though, I feel my heart rate increasing and my heart center is buzzing. I do not like the idea of not being in control of when I leave my body!

I am likely freaking out a bit and overreacting. Honestly, it is likely just simply that my thought processes will slowly be altered from their norm. This is much more acceptable. However, one must conclude that any change in brain activity has a direct effect on consciousness.

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Zapped with the Dizzies

It happened again. I felt faint, dizzy and fought a full-on panic attack. All this while in a meeting at work! I immediately thought, “I should’ve eaten a snack before this meeting” and looked at the time. It was 10am and I was struggling to control a fast heart-beat by looking out the window at the approaching storm clouds.

Then, almost as quickly as it came on, the feeling faded and by 10:45 the feeling was almost completely gone. I had a snack and it helped me settle even more.

I suspected another geomagnetic K-index of 5 or 6 being that is what initiated the feelings before. I looked it up and sure enough at the time of my dizzy spell and near panic attack there was a K-index of 6.

It looks like this activity will  be going on through tomorrow and there is a watch for more activity later. This is going to be an intense week energy-wise.

K-index definition and explanation.

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You May Now Exit the Roller Coaster

After this morning’s detached feeling, my day began to get frustrating. First, my car was dead when I tried to drive to the gym with my kids. They were all buckled in and then….click. Ominous silence. I am thinking, “Maybe I should just skip the gym today? I don’t really have to go there to do my workout…”.

So out we climbed, me irritated and my youngest unable to process that he was not going to go somewhere in the big car with mommy and his brother. He then followed me yell-crying – “Ouw-wow-wow-wow mahhh-wahhh” – while I called my husband to see if he would come give my car a jump.

My husband called the neighbor who came over with a battery charger in tow. It didn’t work too well. My car was totally dead.

Then we could not get the car into neutral so we could back it out of the garage and properly jump the battery. Apparently, Toyota makes their cars idiot-proof by making sure it won’t go into gear when the battery is dead. Thank goodness for Google which revealed there is a hidden box with a secret button that miraculously unlocks the shifter.

By now I am over an hour later than normal but I still head off to the gym. I had a momentary consideration that maybe I should just skip the gym today. This was the second time I had it. And the second time I disregarded it.

At the gym my littlest became a screaming mess and howled as I left him at the daycare while my older son happily went to play. The childcare worker assured me this was normal and he would calm down when I left. After my 5 minute warm-up the familiar face of the childcare worker popped in to tell me I had to get my child. “We have a policy on crying. We can’t hold them and we can only let them cry so much”.

Really?

By this time I was about ready to lose my cool. I got home and called my husband, thanking him for his help and then bursting into tears when I asked him if he could spare his lunch to watch the kids so I could get a little “me” time. He agreed. I’m not really sure why I cried.

I still felt oddly disconnected as I made lunch and cooled down. By the time my husband called to say he was on his way home I was 100% better and I recognized my failure to listen to the warnings which I had gotten all morning long before, during and now after the ordeal.

After my workout (yes – I finally got to go to the gym!) I got a surge of energy and stability. I finally felt reconnected to my body (a good workout will do that) and still do now.

What is funny is that this hiccup in my day and the high’s and low’s it created left me feeling similar to how one feels when they exit a roller coaster. What a wild ride! hehe

And all I keep thinking is, “This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream”.

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Sensing Something…..Different

I just awoke and I feel discombobulated. It is almost as if every part of me has been pulled apart and then pieced back together and I awoke before the pieces had all been placed.

My sleep was fitful. First, I could not fall asleep and tossed and turned until just after midnight. Then, I kept waking up throughout the night from a feeling that I had a lot to do. The memories of the dreams are gone. All I recall now is that I was in the midst of scheduling and planning. Honestly, it feels like I was working all night long.

Usually after a night like last night I would awake upset, protesting coming back to this reality. This is not the case this morning. I feel fuzzy, as if I am drifting around above my body and a part of me is not fully connected. I’m not happy nor sad, just somewhere in between.

The only hint of memory I have of last night’s activities is a sense that soon I will be overwhelmed by life and all the things I have to get done. I feel like I need to scrutinize my daily and weekly schedule and toss out that which is not necessary. It is similar to a purging except this feels like a precursor to that. Maybe I was being warned?

Even stranger is that I recall odd and quite random thoughts popping into my head when I would wake briefly in the night. Some of these thoughts were about my daughter’s Ipod. I had loaned her my Shuffle and she lost it in the car. I thought of it and where it might be and there was anxiety related to it for some reason. Another thought was also about my daughter and her teeth. She lost a tooth early this year and the adult tooth is trying to come in but there is not enough space. The feeling with this was almost panic and trying to schedule her for an appointment. I actually heard my Companion intercede and remind me that it was not a big deal.

Now my thoughts are centering around whether to stay or leave my job. I decided I would stay until December and this felt fine to me. Yet, now that I am awake, I have the feeling that I should clear out my schedule and that my job may be the thing to clear out.

Above all else there is a sense that this disorganization and discombobulation is caused by the rewiring I was told is occurring. However, there is also a sense that what I am experiencing now is directly related to an energy or a source outside of Earth and directed at Earth from very, very far away. This energy, wave, or whatever it is, has been on a collision course with Earth for centuries and is just now within range that those of us sensitive to its wavelength are noticing. What this means for me, us, I am not quite sure. However, if what I am experiencing is any indicator, be ready to be knocked off your feet completely. If I am feeling this disconnected now, I can only image what this will do to me when this energy is at its full effect. I suspect I may go OOB spontaneously. Maybe that is why I need to clear my schedule? Hmmm.

Note: There have been very high levels of geomagnetic activity around Earth. Visit link.