Monthly Archives: October 2015

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Pyramid Meditation and Experience

As predicted in a message I received over a week ago, the 20th brought about yet another strange energy experience.

Pyramid Meditation

I have been reading Dolores Cannon’s Convoluted Universe Book 1 and am nearing the end of it. In one of the chapters there is discussion about how to balance chakras using a pyramid to help funnel the energy into the solar plexus which then balances out one’s whole energy system. This was in conjunction with information on how to manifest in the physical.

Since I had just read about it, I decided to try it as I did my nightly meditation.

The directions are simple:

Relax in your normal meditative position (mine is laying down with head propped on pillow).

Focus on your third-eye chakra while envisioning yourself laying in the center of a giant pyramid. Position yourself 1/3 of the way from the bottom, or base, of the pyramid.

When I did this, I immediately went into the in-between. I mean immediately! There was no time of clearing my mind or deep breathing. As soon as I saw myself inside the pyramid I went elsewhere. I don’t know where I went, but I went fast. So fast that I had this strange energy seemingly come at me with such force that I immediately came back from wherever I had been thinking, “What the hell!?”

The energy was that same energy as I had the night of this blog post. BUT this time the energy was not scary and did not shake me up. It felt more normal and balanced, like I had gained control of it somehow.

It is the oddest energy I have ever felt and I have felt some pretty weird energy! It felt like I was in a million pieces and then converged back into one whole piece. It’s like I am shattered, splitting into different aspects of myself and then reassembled.

The majority of the energy sensation was centered around my head this time. So this may be why I was less shaken.

Explanation

Of course, upon coming out of this strange experience, I went back to the pyramid meditation. This time there was no immediately departure but I think it is because I was looking for the experience. I did have an odd energy traveling through my body. What is interesting is that it did center around my solar plexus!

I requested an explanation but rather than a direct answer, I ended up going elsewhere again.

The memory of what occurred is mostly lost to me now. Again, it was like it was siphoned off before I had a chance to remember it in full. What I do remember is going from one “Me” to another; back and forth, back and forth. I also recall not being alone but having a man with me who was completely white. I don’t remember details of his face but I remember he had human form and facial characteristics.

The energy that went with this movement between “Me’s” is what brought me back to my body. I checked the clock and it was 10:30pm. I had expected much later as I had settled into meditation at 9:40pm. So the time from my pyramid experience to waking from the next experience was less than an hour!

When I finally came back to full, physical body awareness I remember seeing the White man. He was standing next to a smaller White person. They reminded me of statues they were so still. This visual actually shocked me enough to cause me to completely forget what immediately preceded the vision.

Mostly what I recall is the feeling of moving. It was the same strange energy of breaking apart and reassembling. What is odd is that I did not have fear and it felt like it was systematic – go to point A, then B, then CĀ  and then repeat. Could the pyramid have caused this strange movement?

Messages

I returned to sleep but woke several times in the night, each time thinking I had slept longer than I had.

I had several messages during this time:

The number 6 repeated itself. Angel number 6 has to do with maintaining balance between spiritual and physical.

The number 114 repeated itself enough to wake me up, the number still very clear in my mind. Angel number 114 says that if one uses caution and wisdom they will be successful in business and money matters and life in general. This goes well with my thoughts from last night as I kept thinking of my business.

Dream: Slaughtered Cats

Upon waking the last time this morning, I recalled a vivid dream in which I was inside a mobile home cooking dinner. The stove wouldn’t work and the bread was stale. I was with an old man whom I was suppose to marry. He kept asking me what boy’s names I liked, as if we were going to have a baby.

I left, feeling weird about the whole thing, and as I left saw that the house was made of glass and had a specific entry and exit separated by glass.

When I went out of the home, there was a maze-like walkway with walls waist high. The first thing I saw was carnage and fur. Upon closer inspection it was massacred cats. Some were still alive but they were eating the dead cats!

I walked past the cats and went into a hallway that turned into a school. I remember meeting up with some people and telling them, “It’s safe. I made it that way” and seeing all kinds of tarps and posters up in the halls. Though I couldn’t read them, I knew they had messages or invocations that made it safe.

I’m not sure what the dream implies but it was very odd. I have never seen slaughtered cats like this. Most of them were black, too. Maybe I am overcoming some bad luck? šŸ™‚

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Lucid to OBE: Holding My Hand

As I meditated last night, I asked to either astral project or lucid dream. I knew instantly it would happen and was pleased. It has been a long time since I have done either.

Lucid to OBE: Holding My Hand

I woke in the early morning hours. It was still dark outside so rather than get up I rolled over on my left side and focused on my third-eye which was buzzing with energy. I had many thoughts in my mind making it difficult to relax. I remember hearing that I needed to relax and clear my mind.

The next thing I knew I was very aware of laying in my bed spooning with another person. I could feel their body snug up against mine and it was comforting.

I knew instantly I was OOB because this person I was with was not my husband (he was already awake). There was an electrical energy that was present which also alerted me to this fact.

My mind was a swirl of thoughts – communication between myself and another which I cannot remember now but I know was occurring. I felt a large, masculine hand reach out and gently take my hand. I felt my fingers interlace between his and squeeze. I was not alone.

The act of holding hands caused my awareness to peak and I began to look around and try to gather information about where I was. Unfortunately, all I saw was a gray, shifty haze that seemed to jump if I focused upon it. I was able to recognize I was not in my own bedroom. Where was I?

I felt the familiar pull back to my body and the energy seemed to hit me with more force than usual. I felt my body and knew I could return, so I withdrew from the front of my mind and fell back into thoughtlessness.

colors dropplet ripples waterReturn

Again, I could feel myself spooning with this man but I was also aware that there was another person in bed with me, a female. I did not spoon with her but kept thinking that the man and the woman were people who I converse with online. I called them by name and talk to them as if they were there but I did not see either of them. Why I did this, I am not sure but I remember thinking that I needed to tell them I had been with them while OOB.

These thoughts occurred simultaneously with other thoughts, thoughts that were conversations with someone else. I was being reminded to observe and to allow the experience to show me what I needed to see.

I could feel my awareness increasing and decreasing. It ebbed and flowed as I tried to maintain a balance, one that would allow me to remain the observer and not take too much control of the experience. I recall in one heightened moment of lucidity that I could feel the body spooning with me with such intensity that I momentarily forgot I was OOB and thought it was real. This made me too lucid and I had to fight to gain control of myself to remain OOB.

Eventually, I got up out of the bed and began to explore my environment. My vision was still shifty and all gray so I knew I needed to raise my vibration. I began to sing as I flew toward the front of a familiar house. I believe I was in a house I use to share with my ex-husband when we lived in college housing in Montana! I could see the door ahead of me and there was light shining through the windows. I knew if I could get there that I could free myself of this heavy environment.

There was then a recognition that I had done something wrong. I had taken control of the the experience when it was made clear that my only job was to observe it, to allow it to show me something. I was not reprimanded or anything. It’s not like that. I was more of a, “Oh shoot. I forgot!” feeling as I got the message.

Time to Rest

I was pulled very quickly back to my body. As this occurred I received information about the veil between the Earth and the other dimensions or layers surrounding it. The veil was thinner than normal. It was not a good idea at this time for me to explore these areas. It was my time to “rest”.

I was able to gain information about why it was not a good idea for me to travel outside my body right now while many others are able to. It has something to do with my vibration level and the vibration of my physical body as well as the vibration level of the surrounding dimensions or layers. I was told that my physical body is being attuned, its vibration raised in order to incorporate a higher vibration. Leaving my body to explore the astral realms could interrupt the process.

I am shown in my mind a tuning fork and the ripples the sound makes as it travels away from the fork. Then I am shown a disturbance in the ripple. This disturbance is what would happen if I were to astral right now.

I’m not sure what would happen if such a disturbance occurred but I trust my guides in this. There is always a good reason even if I do not understand it.

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667 Days to Home

Today is my last day of work. I took a half of it off because I have days to burn. I was also hoping to get more sleep. I did, but not as much as I would have liked.

I have mixed feelings about leaving work despite knowing it is the right choice for now. I will miss some of my students and those coworkers whom I developed good working relationships with. One coworker sent me an email thanking me for helping her son and asking for me to let her know if I ever go into private practice. It is her son that I am saddest to leave. He is sad, too. He cried when I told him I was leaving. šŸ˜¦

It’s wonderful to feel I have made an impact in someone’s life, even if only a small one.

Gaping Hole

I don’t know if it is just me leaving work that is causing this, but I feel a gaping hole in my life. I think it has always been there but now it seems bigger. There is nothing there. It is just empty and the emptiness of it is what bothers me the most. The bigger it gets, the more empty I feel inside.

I have tried to fill it with things – activities, movement, mental tasks – but when all is done it is still there. I go within and find it there and it is not scary but I don’t know what to do with it. Do I fill it? Do I leave it alone? What is it anyway?

My guide told me this morning, “Why don’t you just rest? It is okay to take a break”. Perhaps, but I am such a busy-body, so use to keeping myself and my mind occupied, that taking a break is not all that easy for me.

For example, I awoke at 5am this morning and immediately my mind began to fill with thoughts of things I needed to do. I even got confused on what day it was, thinking it was Friday and then Wednesday and finally getting to the fact that it is Monday. There are so many lists of things I have to do – exit paperwork for work, promoting my new business, resolving a return of a large product I ordered, a parent-teacher conference, and so on and so forth. All these things flooded my mind and I panicked when I accidentally thought it was Friday.

It’s actually kinda funny. šŸ™‚

667 Days

Out of control thoughts, even if they appear productive, can bring a person down really fast. I reacted by begging my guides to help me return to sleep and asking when I would return Home.

Surprisingly, I got an answer the to second question immediately: 667 days. Really?

Of course, I immediately thought there is now way that could be accurate. Why would my guides reveal something like that? Maybe because they know I will forget it. I forget so easily.

667 days is just under 2 years from now. “Home” I believe is not me leaving this physical body via death. I believe it is reestablishing a connection with the part of me that is Home, is always Home. It is a feeling not a destination.

Mind-Heart Connection

It is clear to me that I have established a link between my mind and my heart. It is undeniable to me now. Every night I feel it as I relax and prepare for sleep. My third eye lights up like a beacon and my heart follows. It is like clockwork.

I feel it throughout the day, too, but mostly it is my third-eye that is blazing throughout the day. It is doing so now and any time I check for it, it is there as a reminder that I am always connected. Sometimes it blazes so intensely while I am doing mundane things that I cannot help but stop what I am doing and notice. It is like I am being asked to take notice of the moment. To not get lost in all the “things” I have to do throughout the day.

My crown chakra is also buzzing, but it is less in comparison to the huge pulling sensation in my third-eye. The energy helmet is becoming so familiar to me that it goes unnoticed until the energy in my crown reaches similar proportions to that of my third-eye.

Honestly it feels like my head is a beacon of light.

20%

In one of my intense, third-eye energy moments I got a vision along with a message. It was a timeline, or at least that is how it appeared to me. I could see that most of the line was colored in in green. It reminded me of the download screens one gets when downloading something from the internet. Towards the end of the green line there was written “20%”.

As soon as I saw it I got the message that I only have 20% left to go. I did not feel encouraged. Who knows how long it will take to download that 20%. My connection often gets interrupted. 6 minutes can take an hour.

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Healing Spheres of Golden Light

In an attempt to get a longer, more restful sleep, I gave in and took 25mg of Benadryl last night. I slept until 7am with few wakings for a total of 10 hours of sleep!

Dreams and False Awakenings

The Benadryl gives me that heavy, full-of-sleep feeling, so although I did dream, I have few memories of dreams. The few memories I do have are riddled with false awakenings indicating that I was nearly lucid, but just not quite enough to wake up and recognize I was dreaming.

In one particular false awakening instance, I had “awakened” from a dream and rolled back over to return to sleep only to find that I was feeling a very strong energy in my root chakra and a churning desire in my second chakra. I recognized this and decided I needed to wake my husband to release some of the energy.

I got up out of bed (remember this is a dream but I think I am awake) and look for my husband. I find him sitting inside an unfamiliar car in the driver’s seat. He sees me and is surprised. I have a blanket wrapped around me and still feel very groggy. I reach over and kiss him passionately he. He is surprised and we make out for a short while. I am pleased because I feel such an overwhelming desire for him, a desire I have not felt since after the birth of our second child.

Gaining hope that perhaps we can rekindle that new love feeling, I am about to ask him to come into the house when he points ahead at a person walking along the road. He says,”I wonder why they are out so late?” He is curious and begins to drive toward the woman. This reveals an entire group of people walking along the road. A light appears which I think are car headlights. Turns out it is flashlights and the group is much larger than I thought.

My husband, being the socialite he is, questions the woman who says there is a neighborhood meeting. My husband gathers data from her to the extent that I lose interest completely in my original reason for being there. I remember thinking, “That does it for me”.

I recall following my husband as he talks and mingles with the group and we all walk outside along a dirt path that winds through woods and houses. I am flying in one of these instances and recall being just above the treetops and wanting to get out of there and explore. This is not allowed. I am to observe the scene and I do not like it.

False Awakening Two

I then “awaken” in my bed and hear water running. I wonder why it is running and not stopping so I get up to investigate and find the toilet has not shut off. I fix it and hear a noise in the kitchen.

There is a golden hue in the kitchen (all the house is unfamiliar). I go out and find my middle son is awake. I tell him to go back to bed.

It gets hazy here but I remember then being in a mall looking for my children after returning from the group of people my husband was with from the other dream. I find them wandering around and frantically gather them up to take them home. There is a man giving out wads of 100 dollar bills. I take one and do not believe it is real and throw it on the floor. On my way home I pick it up and say I will give it to my husband as he might believe the money is real.

When we get home the house is full of those people my husband was with. I tell them to leave. I did not invite them and they can’t just walk in without knocking and asking for entrance.

There is this shorter, middle aged woman who is very familiar there. She gives me a defiant look and resists my orders to leave. I see her as a threat to my marriage as she was the one leading the group and my husband tends to go along with what she asks him to do. Eventually she and the others do leave my house but my husband returns and invites them in. I feel powerless to do anything about it and feel a strange uncomfortable feeling. I do not want to feel this in my own home so I leave and stand outside looking at the front door.

Healing Spheres of Light

I awaken feeling this odd energy over my body. As I come to full awareness, I both sense and see these pulsating, golden spheres on my back and shoulder areas. They seem attached to me and I see one is placed where my shoulder and arm meet and another is six inches higher near my neck. Where they are touching me is an odd sensation, one I do not like.

Fully lucid, I want the feeling to go away. Still in the in-between, I see very clearly the golden spheres attached to grayish looking branches or vines. They are “ripe” and falling off like fruit falls off a tree. The vines seem alive, almost fleshy-like and seem to retreat somewhat when a golden sphere of fruit falls off. It is a very alien-like scene, like something from a Sci-Fi movie, and I withdraw from it, wanting it to go away as I still feel the strange feeling. It feels like I am being zapped with energy and where the energy touches me is a radiating alien energy that goes deep into my Being. I feel invaded but it does not hurt nor do I think I should be withdrawing from it. Yet a part of me does not want anything to do with these spheres.

Recognizing that something is being done to me, I wake fully and immediately question the experience. I see in front of me a hand written note on white paper. As I begin to read it I hear my guide say, “Why don’t you take this opportunity to love others?” I remember the dream and my rejection of the large group my husband so happily embraces. I want to retreat from it; to isolate myself from this “group”. The uncomfortable feeling returns and I say to my guide, “I don’t want to. Do I have to?” I hear, “No, but you will have to learn it at a later date” and I know that if I do not learn it now, that I will in another life. I cringe.

The feeling goes away but my hips feel very sensitive and I struggle to get comfortable. The feeling is not like any I have had before. It kind of feels like my legs were popped out of the hip socket and then replaced. Like I had been rearranged.

To Learn or Not to Learn, That is the Question

Fully awake, I perused my dreams, trying to remember them. What I found is that I began to re-write the dreams. For example, where I was in the car with my husband and he sees the woman, I re-wrote it by seeing instead an army in front of us who we both began to fight. There was a full on assault with guns and bombs. I came out of my reverie knowing I had re-written it and struggled to remember the original. The message was not lost on me, though.

In this life I tend to choose to avoid groups. I avoid making connections with groups. I do this to protect myself but also because groups make me uncomfortable. Last night, I stayed home with my youngest rather than go to a party with my husband. I chose this because it is outside my comfort zone. I have always been this way, mostly. Sometimes when I go to a party I am very social and open. But this is rare. I usually stand or sit far away from the crowd and rarely do I initiate a conversation.

I recognize that my real Self is very sociable. For some reason I chose to be the opposite in this life. I remember lives in which I was social and being social was easy. Not so in this life. The dreams I had last night suggest that I am to learn a lesson about sociability. It is linked to my husband and our marriage. I suspect there is a hidden “lie” that needs to be revealed but in order to do this I must step outside my comfort zone. I must challenge myself in order to “free” myself.

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Destination

In the early morning hours after once again waking at 5:30am, I found myself drifting in and out of a lucid dream. To my disappointment, each time I would begin to take control of this state I would awaken fully. This occurred about five times total before I gave up. However, I was able to gather some important data through this process which I want to share with you all.

Destination

In one instance of lucid dreaming, I found myself traveling at intense speeds in what appeared to be outer space. I could see the stars buzzing by me. They appeared as streaks of light. I felt to be moving toward a destination that I could make out just barely in the darkness. It had shape to it but appeared to be cloaked in darkness. Yet I could see its outline which was distinctly angular, like several triangles merged together. As I think back on the shape I saw, it resembled a merkaba.

As I woke from this experience, there came with me an awareness of information that had not been there before. There came a message in my mind – “You are already at your destination”. With this I knew that there were simultaneously existing states. One in which I was already at my destination, some 8 to 9 light-years away. The other in which I was still traveling, not yet where I hoped to be.

I fell into another light dream state and once again was lucid. I saw several points of light disperse and then each one exploded into more tiny lights. This occurred many, many times until the points of light were so many I was unable to keep track of them.

When I awoke I knew that each of my perceptions was much more than what they seemed. Each perception in itself was a new state, a distinct me and then each one in turn became more, expanding beyond my current state. This in itself is such a limited description of what I saw and the information I knew/know is difficult to put into words.

Image of a Being

As I continued to drift in and out of a lucid states, I was discussing many things with another person. The person was male and felt distinctly different than my normal guide. I wondered who it was and got a flash of an image. I saw a very pale face which reminded me of the young girl I saw not long ago. This face was very obviously male, with a stronger jawline, and appeared more mature. He had no hair and seemed very serious. He gave me a name but I have lost it now. It was like Morphael-Son or something like that. Definitely not a name that is of Earth.

Root Chakra Manipulation

Another odd occurrence these past few nights is a strange activation of my root chakra when I am meditating. The first time it happened I almost missed it altogether because I had gone into such a deep state of relaxation. I meditated on my third eye and heart chakra as has been my norm and had all the typical pulling and energy intensity that I have been having for weeks now. This time, however, I must have gone immediately into the in-between or even may have been OOB. I was happily enjoying the blissful energies when I suddenly had orgasmic-type sensations in my root and second chakras. They were very muted, however, and were just barely noticeable on a physical level. I actually ignored them until something brought me back to full awareness and I felt that I was nudged into remembering that it happened.

This same energy has been happening easily with me just intending it to happen. I mentioned this previously but it seems to be escalating. Most nights now I am able to get the energy levels to a pretty intense state, but nothing bliss-gasm-like.

Then this morning, as I was in the in-between having these conversations and learning, I had a moment where I was very lucid and standing in a room. Across the room was another person, I think they were male but cannot remember. They were in communication with me, but it was wordless. Instead it felt like energy and I felt that I should purposefully activate my root chakra. The root chakra began to activate intensely but I felt embarrassed for some reason, as if I did not want this other person observing this process. So I came back to full awareness. Yet when I fell back into the dream state, there I was again, fully lucid in a room standing across from this man and feeling an intense rising up of energy into my second chakra.

I again awoke and there was no residual energy except that my third eye was blazing. I recall now that the room was white but the floors were either green or lush grass. It was like I was in a field with white walls.

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Dreams: Spanish Class and Attack

My sleep has been dream-filled these past few days but I am still failing to sleep as much as I like. I struggle to fall asleep and then once I do, I wake up way too early and can’t fall back to sleep. Sigh.

Dream: Spanish Class

This dream was two nights ago but it is still very vivid. I find it curious because it was so “normal” compared to the dreams I have been remembering lately.

In this dream I was in a classroom looking down at a textbook. I could see the rows of desks and the other students reading from textbooks. The visual was very crisp and real and I knew I was in a university setting. I remember looking up at the board and seeing the notes we were to take. They were in short two to three sentence paragraphs each with a bullet to the left. The content was historical, but I do not recall the specifics now. When I try to read the board in my memory I get squiggly lines, as if the information cannot properly transfer into this physical reality.

I remember hearing a teacher talking to me. The voice was male. I was instructed to complete the assignment and warned that I was close to failing the class. I knew that my average was in the 70’s and I also knew the class was Spanish.

The conversation is one-sided in my memory. All I “hear” are my own thoughts and the thoughts of my teacher come to me as knowingness rather than a voice. I remember realizing I was in the wrong class and needed a schedule change. I thought about changing the class but then realized more than half of the class was behind me and it made no sense to leave it when I was almost finished with it. So I chose to remain in the class.

Interpretation

Being in class indicates learning and personal growth. Failing to sign up for the right class symbolizes one’s anxieties toward failing at some endeavor in life. The fact that I am studying a foreign language symbolizes an unfamiliar problem in one’s life and a difficulty approaching it and/or resolving it.

In other words, there is some aspect of my life now that I am unfamiliar with and it is presenting a problem for me. What do I do? How do I resolve it? This makes plenty of sense to me.

Dream: Attack

Last night I had an unusual dream, especially for me. I don’t recall what it was about now, just what was happening as I awoke. I was being attacked by some kind of energy that I perceived to be dark. In my memory all I see is a darkness with a swirling silvery white energy sparking through it. It was not just one energy either, it felt to be coming from all sides.

When I awoke I was not frightened but a bit perplexed. My hands were clenched in fists and up underneath my pillow as if I were actually physically trying to fight off this energy. Very curious!

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Dream: You Have Been Transferred

Things have finally started to settle down. I am getting a full 8 hours of sleep at night now and my dreams have returned. Unfortunately, I am still waking up wide awake at 5:30am.

Deceased Loved Ones in Dreams

For the last few nights I have had dreams in which I met up with deceased loved ones. I specifically recall dreams with my father and my grandmother in them. In a dream last night I saw both my grandmother and my father in the same dream but in different parts of it. I remember acknowledging my grandmother when I accidentally noticed her sitting across from me at a table. I said, “I didn’t know you were here!” but I don’t remember anything else we talked about. When I saw my father it was in a similar situation but I knew he was there and was quite comfortable with it, as if he had always been there and not died at all.

I have not seen my father in my dreams or astral in a very long time. I want to say about 10 years. My grandmother just passed away last year and so this was one of the first times I have seen her in my dreams. I have had contact with both of them via my mediumship ability while completely awake and doing other things. My grandmother in particular was quite demanding of my attention after she crossed over. My father was as well (he was my first Spirit connection), but I actually asked my father to stop coming to talk because it caused me so much emotional upset. So he chose to visit me while I was astral projecting or dreaming so that it was less emotionally upsetting.

I have a vague recollection of seeing others who have passed in my dreams lately, too. I think my husband’s boss and wife both have visited me, as well as my great uncle. I remember my great uncle gave me information about my great aunt, my grandmother’s sister passing away soon. I also got information about my own aunt, my Mom’s sister, and health issues she would have.

What is odd is that I had not memory of most of these dreams during the time period in which my sleep was interrupted by the strange vibrations and experiences, yet now they seem to be returning to me. But they are so weird! Why would all my family be visiting me now?

Dream: You Have Been Transferred

One strange dream from last night came with a message.

In the dream, I was with Tom Cruise (this is the second dream with him in it!) and he and I were dating. I remember him being very ambivalent towards me. I recognized this and so was hesitant to get close to him.

He took me to a place where I ran into my grandmother. I remember being in a room of a large building, like a mall, that had a kitchen sink and I was cleaning the dishes and talking to my grandmother about something, kind of like small talk and relationship advice.

Then Tom showed me a cell phone that had a message on it, like a fax receipt. He said, “Look! You have been transferred!” He acted like it was a big deal and showed much excitement about it. When I saw it I felt like it was not good news and was not pleased.

This message stood out to me for some reason, as did the fact that Tom Cruise was there. I don’t have any sexual attraction to the actor and don’t know why he keeps showing up in my dreams.

More Light Codes

When I awoke from this dream, I was seeing light codes. They began in the light, cascading down from above. As I awakened the light turned dark and the code became gray. It flowed down around me like a waterfall. My third eye was pulsing with energy as was the back top section of my head. I have no idea the meaning of the codes. They just looked like squiggly lines, circles, and shapes moving down around me in my vision.

Controlling My Own Energy

One last interesting change: Last night before bed while meditating and connecting with my Companion, I had an unexpected breakthrough.

My typically meditation involves me laying on my back with my eyes closed and focusing on my third eye and heart simultaneously. When I do this, my third eye lights up immediately or intensifies (it seems to be active most of the day now anyway). Then my heart will light up, as if in response to my third eye. Sometimes my second chakra will light up with energy as well. It is at this point that communication with my Team, Council and/or Companion in initiated. This has been my nightly routine for a little over 2 weeks now, maybe longer (lost track).

What is different about last night is that I began to focus on the energy and will it to build up. When I did this there was an intent to connect with my Divinity. My second chakra had been warm and tingly but when I began to focus on building the energy, there was a spreading out of warmth from my heart chakra and I could feel the energy rising up from my root to meet it. My second chakra seemed to vibrate more intensely because of this. All the while my entire head was buzzing. It felt wonderful and was beautiful. I felt my entire being vibrating with warmth and love.

I realized while this was happening that I was doing this and had always been able to do it. It was so easy to move the energy! Unfortunately, my mind began to wander and the intensity subsided.

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RoshaiYelle

I’m not sleeping much these days. I don’t fall asleep until midnight and then I wake up around 5:30am and cannot return to sleep. I continue to hear that I no longer need as much sleep. Perhaps, but I feel like I need sleep and I like sleep, so it makes a bit grumpy to have it taken from me.

This morning when I awoke I felt calm and well rested. Despite this, I still wanted to go back to sleep. I was feeling energy sensations around my head and knew the “work” was on-going. I decided to meditate since I felt my Council close once again.

Almost as soon as I began to meditate, information came flooding in. When it came in, it sparked a memory of something that had occurred in previous nights that I had long forgotten. What I experienced was a “light code transmission”, at least that is what I recognized it to be when I saw it.

To describe it is limiting the experience of it; however, I am told my job at this current time is to report my experiences in order to help others “feel less alone in their transformation”. As I rarely hear from others experiencing what I am, I trust that there are in fact many others or there will be others that will need to know this so that they do not “fall off the deep end”.

Light Code Transmission

What I saw/experienced was a beam of golden light that seemed to shine down from above with seemingly no source whatsoever. In it, I could see strange symbols. The glimmered and were somewhat transparent yet they also had a golden hue about them. The symbols were none like I have ever seen on Earth. I saw many circles and loops along with some strange squiggly looking lines that appeared to move as they descended. I also saw many lines and zigzag patterns.

When I saw this in my memory I heard these were transmission codes, which confirmed what I originally called them. I asked if they were a language and was told, “No, they are thoughts” yet I knew the word “thought” was incorrect in its description yet it was the most precise our language could offer.

I was told I had been receiving these codes for sometime and was reminded of the symbols that had come to me back in May/June. I asked if this was what the “call” was and was told it was not, that I was called in 2003 (the year of my awakening) and that this was the month that another such call was to be put out. These “calls” are in fact transmission to the Starseeds. It is a sort of activation in that it awakens them to their true purpose, one that many are not aware of and some may outright reject.

Enter the Shadowlands

I must have drifted into the in-between because I heard very clearly the title of a book or similar. All I can recall now was the last part of the title: Enter the Shadowlands. This is because I chose not to get up and write it down. I am kicking myself for that now.

I questioned why I was receiving this information and felt I should research it further. The “shadowlands” to me feels like a dark place, one that I would not want to go. Yet I am told my “work” involves this. I have not had any luck in finding information about the shadowlands as of yet. I suspect this place to be the lower astral realms as I was reminded of my awakening in 2003 and the vision I was shown of standing between two worlds, one that was dark and one that was light. Perhaps the Earth is the shadowland?

RoshaiYelle

Falling back into my reverie I saw standing in front of me a very small being. She was pretty in her own way but very obviously not human. Her skin was a very light gray color and had a sheen about it, especially the top of her head which seemed smooth and soft. I very much wanted to touch it and see how it felt. She had very large, blue eyes but not so large as to make her look out of proportion. She almost resembled those Japanese anime cartoon characters with big eyes. She had a tiny nose and very small mouth with thin lips. She smiled at me and I felt a calmness from her, as if she were sending the message to not be afraid.

I somehow knew she was female and as if to show me this, I was drawn to look at what appeared to be earrings on her nonexistent ears. They were an emerald green color and sparkled.

As I became more aware, her image disappeared and my questions were answered as the thoughts appeared. I heard a child’s voice say to me, “Her name is RoshaiYelle (Roe – Shy – El). She is one of your guides. Yes, she is small. She stands only 4 feet 2 inches of your height”.

The image of her was so intensely ingrained in my mind that I had to draw what I saw. I am not much of an artist but I think I captured her pretty well. I wish I could add color for that would give you a better impression of how beautiful she is. There is nothing but kindness, love and understanding coming from her.

Ā 

by

The Guardians

I struggled to fall asleep last night. A song kept going through my head and it wouldn’t go away.

We all are living in a dream,
But life ainā€™t what it seems
Oh everythingā€™s a mess
And all these sorrows I have seen
They lead me to believe
That everythingā€™s a mess

The bold words were the one’s that repeated over and over.

Odd Sensations Return

I must have fallen asleep, though I don’t recall it. What I do remember is awakening very rapidly to a situation similar to the night of the 7th of October. This time, though, I was aware of a conversation taking place between another version of myself (my Higher Self?) and another individual. I don’t recall what was being said, because my focus was on the strange sensations coursing through my physical body.

The sensations were intense and focused mostly on my head, which felt to be exploding with energy from my third eye. The typically circular area of energy that is normally my third chakra was a gaping hole almost the size of the entire front of my face! In addition to this strange, gaping hole of energy was a strange sensation on the back top of my head. The energy felt to be pulling and going out instead of into my head. It was not painful, but close and I could feel a slight headache beginning.

My heart was doing something odd. It was a feeling I have never experienced and my heart was flip-flopping around in myĀ  chest in an irregular pattern. There was also a feeling of energy escaping, or maybe it was being sucked out of me. I remember thinking I was going to die.

This concern, of course, panicked me and brought me to full awareness but not before I recognized what was happening. The conversation, which had been going on while I was become more and more aware of what was happening, had given me enough information and I remembered it.

Understanding

As soon as I awoke the sensations in my body diminished substantially (thank goodness!). Energy was still coursing through my head. It was similar to the “wide open”, receptive feeling I use to get with a “download” except that the intensity was much more and the energy seemed to be both coming in and going out. It was the outflow of energy that was the most uncomfortable, though.

There was instant understanding of what had just been discussed. I remember distinctly hearing the other Me talking with a guide. This other Me is the Me who came through in May, the Me who Remembers her Starseed origins along with so much more knowledge. I heard her talking about me, using the pronoun “she” instead of “I”. I felt like a child whose parents were discussing her.

With this realization came also the understanding of what all this strange new, scary energy was. I knew it was the exchange taking place. The Old me was leaving and the New me was taking her place. It was/is the dissolution of the Ego and I was/am being witness to it.

It scared/scares the shit out of me!

I sent out a plea for help to my Higher Self and the group of guides with her. Again I said, “Help me”.

I wondered aloud, “Am I going to die? Am I going to remember any of this?” along with several other questions I don’t remember now.

I heard in response that this was a death but not one in which I would be “gone” or “lost”. I was told, “You have asked to be witness to this. You will Remember”.

I didn’t/don’t know whether to feel violated or relieved. A part of me felt very violated, and I withdrew from it and did not want to witness it. I asked to go to sleep. “Please. I just want to sleep. I would rather not remember this”.

The Guardians

The sensations in my head were so intense that it caused me to want to retreat from whatever was happening even more. But no matter how I tried, the sensations would not cease and I felt very much like a scared little girl hiding in the corner of her room waiting for the storm to pass.

I was asked to lay on my back. I knew why. It aids the process. I told them, “No. It makes it worse. I don’t want to feel it”. I continued to lay on my side but eventually conceded and rolled onto my back. The sensations decreased significantly.

I was reminded to focus on my heart center and I did. It calmed me down.

I was reminded of the other me, the New me, and the knowledge she gave me back in May. I understood. This was/is not a bad thing. This was/is a good thing. I wondered why she had not presented herself like last time. I heard, “We are merged now” and understood this to mean that the experience was now a joint one.

But the fearful part of me did not want to let go. She was terrified. Thankfully, I was/am able to control her. I remember hearing, “Fear is interfering. You must use what you have learned. Be the observer”. I settled into my heart space.

It was then that I was able to ask the group of 13 (there were 12 plus one guide), “Who are you?”

I heard in response, “We are the Guardians”. There was complete understanding that this process I was going through was necessary. That I was being prepared. I understood who these Guardians were/are. They have been watching over Earth for millions, maybe even billions of years. I asked what their job was, and I saw they were Protectors, keeping watch over the Earth and its inhabitants, inhabitants that have come and gone many times. They only interfere when absolutely necessary. It was time for such interference.

I lost touch with my heart at this time as I began to reject the information I was receiving. The Knowingness was intense and very scary. I did not want to hear it.

I once again said, “I just want to go to sleep”. I looked at the clock. It was 11:30pm.

Domed Lights

I must have fallen asleep or gone in-between because I was then aware of visions of very odd things. I saw what I think is another Earth-like planet. I saw very distinct domes of light settle down over the ground. They were yellowish-white in color and pulsated. I was aware that there was another dome of light and it came towards the one on the ground. The touched and merged, exchanging energy, becoming one.

I awakened from this with an acknowledgment that these two “lights” were somehow linked to the two parts of “me”, though there was also a link to the two parts of “mankind”, as if another piece of mankind was to be reunited with him and once merged they could be whole again. I could be whole again.

I felt back into the in-between and both saw and heard the number 529.

Losing Dreams

The last thing I remember is thinking I should write all this down. The next thing I know I was waking up at 5:30 and could not return to sleep. I heard the Imagine Dragons song again. I tried to recall my dreams, but my mind was a blank. I recall only that I was discussing something in a space filled with golden light. I recall seeing beings that were taller than I and wearing white. I also recall seeing one being that was outlined in a dark shadow and seeing him made me fearful. In this I was reminded of just how powerful fear can be and to be wary of it.

I am not even sure this part was a dream as I was very tired. I wanted to return to sleep but could not. I keep being reminded, “You don’t need sleep”. So frustrating!

by

Self-Created Experience?

The earth-shattering experience I had on October 7th continues to shake me to the core. I am still processing it, trying hard to fill in the huge gaps in my memory and seeking answers from my Team of assistants.

Self-Created Experience

There came a moment yesterday when it occurred to me that perhaps what I experienced was self-created; influenced by my current reading material – The Convoluted Universe by Dolores Cannon.

This conclusion is a normal one in my specific circumstances. What I experienced on the 7th was so unreal to me, so beyond bizarre and so out of my perception’s reach that it is no surprise that it has now receded into the depths of my subconscious to the point that it appears nothing more than a very wildly vivid dream. It is so easy now to just shrug my shoulders and say, “It was just a dream. It was not real”, and move on.

And yet there is a part of me that says, “Well all experience is ‘self-created'”.

On the One Hand…

There is a part of me that believes this is what is happening to me:

The group of Beings who surrounded me the night of the 7th, whom I recall very vividly but only as silhouettes in the dark, is a group of E.T.s (for lack of a better word) who have come to “get me” and move me into whatever my next level is. This is a heightening of consciousness, a Remembering, an “Unfolding” as my Companion calls it.

I am emerging from the chrysalis.

When questioning this group, who appeared to me as 12 and whom I acknowledge as being my Council, I asked where they came from. The response I received was, “Sirius”. When I asked how far away they were, I heard 10 au’s (light years).

These beings appear to me in human form when I see them. They are not “alien” in appearance, at least not so alien that I notice. They often appear very bright and so it is difficult to discern what they look like in detail. If I am allowed to see them close up, they often show me their eyes or just aspects of their face. Usually their eyes are very bright blue.

Prior to the consideration that my Council were in fact Beings from another planet, I just thought of them as “guides” or “Spirit”. Really, even with this new E.T. consideration, it has not changed the way they appear to me or how I react to them when I see/sense them. If anything, I am calmer upon their contact with me than I have ever been.

In considering all the information that has come to me in recent weeks, I have partially come to the conclusion that the human race is heading toward the “End of Days” where a great cataclysm will rocket Earth into a New Age, one in which humanity lives in harmony with her. During the time of the great changes there will some kind of E.T. contact experienced. I do not know if this will be wide-spread, meaning that I don’t know if all will be aware of the “contact” being made. I have personally received many messages now that I will be “called”, that I will see “signs” and that I will be taken Home. The signs have been shown to me ever since my awakening in 2003. They are consistent and the warnings, visions, I receive are increasing in frequency.

How I and others like me will be taken Home is unclear at this time. I recently had a dream in which individual pods were lined up and humans walked into them. From inside these pods a great golden light emerged and the body was broken up into millions upon millions of tiny particles of light which ultimately dispersed. To me, this represents a dissolution of the physical form or perhaps a raising of vibration. It may also be some kind of transport system.

On the Other Hand….

And then I think how preposterous all of this sounds. Aliens and the “End of Days” – all of it sounds like something a crazy person would say. I think of the bearded man walking around holding a sign that says, “The end is near”.

I think of how my whole life I have rejected being here and thus rejected fully immersing myself in this life. I want to escape. I would rather be in my own fantasy world which is much more exciting. There I get to go OOB, I get to talk to “other worldly beings”, I get to see into the future, I get to talk to the deceased, I get to see people’s auras, I get to “know” things other people don’t, I get to have Kundalini experiences… The list goes on.

And I think maybe all of this is happening to me because of this desire to escape. I am creating all of it. Making it up so that I can avoid “reality”.

I just really need to suck it up and deal with life.

Which is it?

Right now I am in the stage of thinking that I need to “suck it up” and stop hiding in my fantasy world. Life is passing me by and I need to live it.

Yet there is and always has been a part of me totally and utterly bored with life, with reality. And I have been down this path before. I have rejected my “fantasy” world and gone back to “the real world” to live life like I was suppose to. I was miserable despite trying very hard to be “normal”. Yes, I had some great experiences and great times, but there was always something missing. I always felt lacking.

Maybe that is just the way it is meant to be for me in the life.