Daily Archives: January 12, 2016

by

Intervention

It has been a challenge navigating the last four or five days – well nearly the last month really. I have never in my life experienced such up’s and down’s and emotional intensity. This intensity started mid-December and does not seem to be letting up. It is almost painful for me to have such intensity of emotion. It makes me wonder if I have been navigating through this lifetime with an almost fully closed heart. Why else would I have not felt this before? How can I have been so emotionally closed off for so long? And what am I to do with this new openness? It is blissfully fantastic in one extreme and excruciatingly painful in another.

Honestly, I am struggling to deal with this new openness, especially the painful part. There has been an overflowing of emotion that should not be there, that feels alien or to belong to someone else. It is just there out of nowhere as if it were there all along. What a crazy, amazing thing to experience. There are no words!

With it comes a past life memory that just appeared. I don’t know when it was or really where it was, but it is vivid in all ways and the emotion linked to it is beyond intense. I can’t escape it so I just live it. Daily. The memory is still unfolding. When it does I will share it with you all.

Intervention

Everyone has their breaking point. I swear I’ve reached mine. I am so done with it all. I have been demanding to be let out of whatever contract(s) I signed. I have been angry and upset for four days straight now. I will go from a numb, almost calm sort of zombie-ness to an overflowing of emotion that stops me in my tracks. The up’s and down’s have to stop. NOW. I can’t live like this.

I recognized the gathering of my Team around me a couple of days ago. There has been healing in the night and very few dreams. The intensity of concern I feel from them makes me angry and sad and concerned. It makes my heart pull with a painful, stabbing intensity as well.

I was finally mentally able to focus on my guidance last night. One of my assistants was there who was energetically familiar to me. He gave me the name “Ken” and has been asking me questions and helping me process whatever it going on with me. My resistance to staying in my heart space was the first thing to be addressed. Oh crap is all I can say. It hurts there like nothing else and there is still an intense magnetic pull that is indescribable. I hate it and I love it at the same time. What confusion!

I was told to shut off my mind and just feel, so I did, and the intensity of the heart stabbing seemed to shoot right through my back at an angle that started at the High Heart and went into my solar plexus. There was no emotion, just a physical ache. I calmed substantially and fell asleep.

There are Choices, not Options

I startled awake at 3:30am from a vivid vision of the word, “Starseed”typed in boldface. I had a moment of confusion because I had just been dreaming about being at my mom’s house where a major ice and snow storm had shut everything down. It had gotten so cold that her chickens and even wild animals were freezing to death. When I woke an entire memory of intense discussions were seemingly placed in my mind as were vivid images of something not at all related to the cold dream I had just been in.

The vision that is most memorable was of the Earth’s sky changing from vivid blue to an ominous pale yellow color. The sky seemed to break apart, blasting outward and upward, and in broad daylight one could see the entire night sky. As I watched, thousands upon thousands of golden hued energy-people (souls?) began to ascend into the sky and blend with the yellow hues until they disappeared into the stars.

With this I remembered what occurred prior to this “rapture”. I had been discussing my Starseed origins with a small group of individuals. It was a serious talk, and one in which there was much upset, more on my part than theirs. In this discussion was my role as mother to my children, which I discussed in a previous post. There was also a discussion of all that has transpired up to this point in my life, though I cannot remember the specifics of it. I clearly recall being told, “There are choices, not options”. I saw that I could choose to shut off what has been happening with me. I could stop it. Permanently. But then I could not resume again. I would no longer see. I would no longer hear the call. It was clearly explained to me that this was not like last time when I shut down. This time it would be permanent. I would be left behind.

Of course, when I awoke I questioned all this. Hadn’t I already chosen to stay behind? Why then would it matter if I was left? In this I felt a sadness, a finality. Being left in this way was not the same. It was as if I would become deaf and blind to everything.

It was then explained to me that I had been given the opportunity to choose between Self and the Whole. I was told now is not the time to make decisions based upon selfish desires. I felt very much like I was being reprimanded here. This is why there are no “options” then? I choose to participate or I choose not to participate. That is it. There are no alternate routes.

I was reminded again of the egg within an egg dream I had not long ago. I saw the egg within as the Starseed, the innermost workings of me; the part of me connected to something more, something much bigger than myself. I could choose to let it lie dormant or allow it to hatch.

I was also reminded of a dream  I had in December, 2014. Something clicked and I just laughed at all the synchronicities involved.

Of the two choices I was given I must choose to participate. I am told it will only get more intense. I can’t say I am excited but it is better than being deaf and blind.

 

 

 

by

Nurturing the Starchild

My daughter asked me some questions last night about a dream she had. She began the conversation by asking, “Mommy, how many planets are there? Are there more than what we are taught about in school?”

“Yes, honey, there are many more,” I told her.

“How many?” she asked.

“Millions upon millions, maybe more,” I replied.

“Wow. Do we know about them? What are they like?”

“We don’t know because we can’t see them. They are very, very, very far away. So far away that we cannot get to them even remotely.”

She had a look of awe on her face and then got a very serious look and said, “I had a dream this morning. You were a teacher and I was in your class. Mommy, you were my teacher!”

“Really? How funny,” I said. I listened and she went on.

“We were looking at planets and there were so many but I was so happy that I was in your class.”

Questions About the Stars

My middle son has also been asking me questions. The other night he came outside to sit under the stars with me. He looked up and said, “Wow! It is so pretty! What is that star, mommy? Is that the sun?”

He was pointing to Betelgeuse and I told him, “No, that’s not the sun. That is Betelgeuse.”

“Oh. Where is the sun?”

“The sun is asleep on the other side of the Earth where it is day still.”

He took a while to process this, getting confused between the sun, the Earth and the stars and thinking the sun was each of the stars in the sky. He eventually began to understand and asked,”What are stars?”

“Stars are planets like Earth and some are other suns.”

“Oh, so that’s a planet and that’s a planet and that’s a planet (pointing to different stars)? What are their names?” He had so many questions.

I told him, “I don’t know all their names. I just like to look at them. Aren’t they pretty?”

He then sat with me for a while just looking up at the sky. It was cold so we snuggled in a blanket together.

Nurturing the Starchild

I recall discussing my children during dreamtime last night. I was shown my role in their awakening process. I am their “teacher”and a “living guide” in this lifetime. They are not my children by mistake. They chose me and my husband for a reason. Though my husband and I are very different in our beliefs and experiences thus far, we compliment each other and for a newly awakening Starchild this foundation would be completely necessary to successfully traverse the changes occurring now and in the future. We are both their teachers in this lifetime.

Upon waking all I could think about was the dream my daughter told me about and how similar it is to many of my own these days as I am relearning who I am.

The children of today, no matter their age, are going through the same process we are. In some ways this is easier because the younger they are, the less rigid belief systems, habits and conditioning they have acquired. But it can also be harder for them because they must rely on their parents and loved ones to guide them through the process. If they happen to have a non-awakened parent, then they can end up on a very lonely and difficult path.

I was reminded of my role as nurturer. Though it is highly demanding, exhausting, challenging, and mentally unrewarding, there is a purpose behind it and I am not to forget it. My children are already showing signs of being highly aware little Lights and my role is to encourage them to shine and help them gain the ability to keep their light shining on their own. What a seemingly impossible task especially when I am just learning how to do that for myself!