Daily Archives: February 4, 2016

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Upgrade Approaching

It’s been an odd day.

First, something felt off this morning and it lasted until about noon. I had a feeling in my gut that was not going away. Since I had the urge to look for a job, I searched online and it only made the feeling in my gut turn into an anxiety in my heart chakra. When I finally stopped the job search all off feelings vanished as if they were never there to begin with.

Later, during my youngest’s nap, I took some time alone outside and just stared up at the cloudless sky. I had been having trouble thinking all day and so I had no thoughts. My mind was just blank. That’s when one of my guides announced to me, “There will be an upgrade soon. We have been preparing you. It will be intense.” Funny enough, I didn’t bat an eye. I am so use to these kinds of announcements that I just wanted to know when. The answer was predictable: “Soon.” My feeling was that it was likely to hit me in the middle of the night. I said, “I can’t handle anymore crazy emotional up’s and down’s.” His response to that was, “You need to be clear.” Okay. So that likely means I need to have some tissue on hand. Or maybe it will be one of those intense crown chakra blasts this time? Who knows. I will just wait and see.

After that, I went to get the mail with my daughter. A neighbor was there getting hers as well and I instantly recognized her. She had lost her husband right before Christmas and talked to me in-depth one day about her struggle to make it through the holidays. I almost asked her how she was but hesitated because my daughter was there with me and I knew the woman’s deceased husband was right there and wanting to pass on a message. He followed me home telling me how he wanted to tell his wife he was with their cat and giving me the name “Grace”. I felt bad but at the same time I had no idea how I would have approached the subject with my neighbor.

As I prepared my bath just a while ago I asked about the coming upgrade. Was everyone going to experience this? I was told that the upgrades will not hit everyone at the same time nor in the same way. I was shown that I am cycling through them. Each one will clear something new, taking off more and more layers. It will cycle through pretty fast I am told, much faster than I have previously experienced (meaning weeks pass rather than months I guess?).

I must say that I’m not looking forward to this. Based upon my most recent emotional outpouring followed by awful intestinal flu, I am not sure I can take much more. Oh wait, that was the “preparation”…. Hmmm Well, at least they told me the upgrade is coming and it will be “intense”. I am trying to remember what happened the last time they used the word intense. I can’t remember. Not surprised being my brain is not working.

 

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Allowing the Exchange

Something shifted for me yesterday and is still in process. It is subtle. Had I not taken the time to meditate and tune in, I likely would not have noticed it at all.

Most of the day yesterday I felt “off”. There was a feeling I couldn’t quite figure out and my mind was not up to par. I keep forgetting things. Small things mostly, but then I forgot my daughter had early out and so missed picking her up at the bus stop! This is so not like me. I am usually on top of everything but my mind is just not cooperating. Really, this mental fog has been going on for some time but now I seem to not care if I forget. I figure if it is important enough I will remember. Otherwise, it must be inconsequential. And really, missing the bus was no big deal. I just jumped in the car and picked her up at school and then all three kids got to play at the school playground. It all works out in the end. Why bother worrying?

Allowing the Exchange

Around 3pm I took a few moments to lay down and tune in. My heart chakra instantly began to pull all the way through to my back. Momentarily I was pleased but then when I got up the heart intensity ceased. However, as soon as I tuned in it would reappear.

When I did my evening meditation my heart lit up again but only slightly. My mind has been somewhat in overdrive from focusing on 3D stuff so it took extra effort on my part to shut it down. As soon as I did one of my guides asked, “What can we do to help you?” This threw me completely. I don’t think I have ever been asked that question. I had no idea how to answer!

Then I was asked, “What do you feel?” Instead of focusing on my emotions like I normally do, for some reason I began to focus on the sensations in my body. I noticed immediately a strange sensation within my brain. It is hard to describe but it felt like I was not alone in there – like someone else was present. There was a strange pressure from within that I had not notice before.

Again I don’t know why but I knew this other presence was part of me, had been part of me, for some time. I will use the word braid in since I have no other way to describe the relationship I have with this other aspect. She/he’s been with me for some time but the upgrades and adjustments to my brain have only recently progressed enough to allow a further integration. This is the only way I know the describe it. I feel completely loonie just considering it, but then again I don’t.

I felt an urge to withdraw and allow this other aspect to come forward. It is hard to describe how I did this but I was able to. That was when it got strange. I became a witness to this other me conversing with my guide. The other me answered the question I had just been asked – “What can we do for you?” He (but really there is no gender associated) said something about making adjustments to this life slowly so as to not cause panic. I was referred to as something else but I can’t recall the term used to describe me. It was something like controlling entity or something like that.

There was so much more conveyed without words. It was like a knowingness from this other aspect seeped into my consciousness. As it did I became completely compliant and relieved.  I was thinking, “Finally something is happening!” I wanted desperately for it to happen all at once. “It” being the exchange. My guide reminded me it must occur gradually and I asked him if he had ever done it before and he said, “No, but I have witnessed many.”

Memories

I had memories resurface from my life. All at once. It was like a floodgate opened but they came in one at a time. I remembered a time probably around 2000 when I was living in Alaska. I had prayed and prayed for God to take away my fear. I was terrified to make a move I knew I needed to make. In fact, I remember I seemed to be afraid of everything. I realized that now I am rarely afraid. I still have fear, but compared to back then I appear almost fearless. Wow.

I remembered that prior to that I had been writing a novel. It is long gone now probably as I left it when I left my ex-husband. However, the book was almost halfway complete. It was about a woman who had paranormal experiences. She was married with children and had just moved into her new home. Then Spirit began to visit her – first in her dreams then in her waking life. She also had encounters with E.T.s. The last chapter I wrote about was her being “called” into the mountains where she was met by a very large UFO. I wrote this in 1998-99 five years before my awakening. I still remember the book as vivid pictures in my mind. It was so very real to me at the time. Looking back on it now I wonder if I had been perceiving something of my own future and just didn’t realize that is what it was.

After allowing my braided-in aspect to come forward and the memory floodgates opened I continued to feel strange. I fell asleep and awoke at 4am feeling an intense need to get a job. I am really, really not liking the idea but this feeling is so intensely strong that I don’t know if I can resist it.