Daily Archives: June 24, 2016

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Clearing a New Path

Another quick update on the goings-on in my life.

My husband just left for the next four days. His trip to Florida has been delayed by a month, though, so he will be here in July. I should be happy, but I’m not.

Many small, mostly insignificant life problems popping up. Mostly they have to do with my family and marriage. Finance is a big one but there are also incompatible viewpoints that continue to be made very obvious through life situations/decisions.

The more that happens, the more I am seeing in front of me the inevitable decision that must be made. The fork in the road is obvious. One fork has a sign that says 3D. The other has a sign that says 5D. The contrast is so apparent and the feelings associated with the upcoming decision that it makes me almost sick to think of having to make the decision.

When I shift into the 3D frame of mind I am devastated by what lies in front of me. I feel immediately dead inside. Sometimes I even feel sick to my stomach.”Reality” from this viewpoint is very depressing and my heart is not in it at all. I can see quite a distance in front of me and it is smooth sailing for the most part.

When I shift into the 5D frame of heart (hehe) there is hope; a revival of Self. I feel a warmth in my chest. Yet I cannot see very far in front of me. The path turns and is lost after only a few hundred yards.

For the past 10 months or so we forerunners have been traversing both worlds simultaneously. This has been very difficult because the two realities are so very different in so many ways. But we weren’t ready. Some of us still aren’t. I wonder if I am ready yet because I feel so very afraid of making the choice. Yet the longer I hesitate, the more dissonance there is between the two.

Lately I have been shifting back into denial mode. None of this is real. I am just being strung along by my guides. I will never be happy regardless of what path I choose. And so on and so forth. My guidance goes completely silent when I enter this mode. When I begin to pull myself out of it, they return, arms folded across their chests and say, “Are you done now?” LOL

Their message today was this: “Trust yourSelf. Trust your heart. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are clearing a new path. It won’t be easy.”  And at this point I saw very clear in my mind the word, “Forerunner.”

No, it’s not easy. I need a weedwacker or maybe a machete to clear the path ahead.

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More Dreams

Crazy night of dreams. Recording them for documentation purposes.

 Dream: First Day of School

I spent the majority of this dream preparing to go back to school. I was the adult version of myself but I was standing in my old bedroom in front of my mirror and my mother and grandmother were both present in the dream. My grandmother is deceased (passed May, 4, 2014).

My grandmother had laid out various shirts, pants, skirts, etc and my room appeared to be a mess of clothing and in total disarray. My mom and grandmother were fussing over me and I was indecisive and could not figure out what I wanted to wear.

I finally decided on a white, form fitting shirt and a denim skirt. The shirt was semi-see-through and I was able to see the outline of my bra through it. The skirt was shorter than I liked and when I bent over it revealed more than it should. lol I remember asking my mom to look and see if the skirt passed the test and she said it almost didn’t. Then I was inspecting my shirt. It bothered me that my bra was showing and it was obvious the bra was too big as it was bunching up around my arm pits. I felt very concerned about how I looked. It appeared as if my body got wider the more I looked and the word “fat” popped into my head more than once. I then spent some time choosing the right shoes. I selected a nice pair of sandals but wanted to wear white socks with them. Ultimately, I went without the socks because it really looked dorky. lol

I heard a noise indicating the bus and when I looked at the clock it read 7:15. I knew I had missed the bus but was not worried. My mom would drive me. I remember thinking about how it would be to return to school – how uncomfortable I would feel to be judged by others for the way I looked. I decided I didn’t care.

Dream: Blood Test

I was sitting on the examining table at the doctor’s office. Blood test results were being reviewed. The results indicated that my PEP was low. The nurse discussed this with me. She asked me if I knew what PEP was. I nodded that I wasn’t sure. I said, “Am I pregnant?” She said, “No.” I remember wishing I were pregnant because I preferred being pregnant again to whatever I was about to be told. The nurse explained that the blood test indicated that one of my internal organs had broken through the protective outer layer of another organ. It reminded me of a hernia when I saw the picture she provided, but that was not what it was. She showed me the liver and said it was most likely that my problem was related to the liver being compromised. Nothing she said really made much sense to me.

Then it was like time had passed and I was being shown the lower part of my body, where my ovaries and uterus are. A specific section was highlighted that appeared to be right about where my root chakra would be. I remember asking if I would need a hysterectomy and wishing they would just get it over with already because I was tired of having to deal with this issue.

Lucid Dream: Flooding in San Mateo 

I was listening to a news broadcast while discussing what had just occurred. The news broadcast indicated that there had been massive flooding in San Mateo and hundreds were missing and/or displaced. There was also a death count. I became lucid during this part of the dream and actually saw scenes of the destruction, specifically images of a shelter where people were being sent.

The other news broadcast interrupted and suddenly the name of another town became very apparent. I heard Alvaredo this time and this confused me and brought me to full awareness and I woke up. When I woke up, I had a vision of myself jumping feet first into a raging waterfall. This was not the pretty, cascading waterfalls one usually sees indicating serenity. This was a raging, turbulent waterfall.

Considerations

The first dream seems to be about my shifting into a new phase of my journey. There are preparations being made and I am struggling to feel comfortable with mySelf. Self-criticism is one of the barriers I am facing.

The next dream seems to indicate that I am trying to heal specific areas in my life. The PEP portion makes me laugh out loud. I mean really? PEP? I need to remedy my PEP problem? LOL So true! The fact that I prefer to be pregnant again to whatever it is I am being told is a huge indicator. There is no way in hell that I would want to be pregnant again. hahaha The areas of issue are the third chakra and root chakra is seems.

The last dream seems to be more an indicator of emotional upheaval than anything. I have had the waterfall in both visions and dreams since May. For a time in May it was even frozen. So I guess now that it is all flooded I am deciding to jump in and get it over with. Not sure if this is a good thing or not. lol