Monthly Archives: July 2016

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Noticing

Another lesson of the OBE is on noticing. I am still learning it, still integrating it, but I want to share with you what I have realized thus far.

While OOB, I learned early on never to focus too much on anything while in the astral. To focus on something too long resulted in a loss of energy and ultimately a shift back into my physical body. I did not want that, of course, so I stopped focusing on things and learned quickly how to maintain a projection for hours.

It occurred to me just a couple of days ago that noticing is also used in meditation quite often. You are to “notice” the thoughts that enter your mind but then let them pass. You did this by not looking at them which in turns leads to focusing on them which in turn can lead to falling into a movie in your head (dream) and ultimately falling asleep. Have you ever done this while meditating? Then you failed to just “notice” your thoughts. I fall asleep all the time in my meditations. Then I end up OOB when I run into the noticing problem head-on. Oh, look a talking horse. Don’t notice. Don’t notice. Crap. I noticed! Back in my body. LOL

What I have realized from over 13 years of astral projection is that I was shown how much I tend to fixate on things. As I became more aware of this while OOB, I noticed how my energy seemed to be sucked out of me when I was focused on something or someone in my projection. At first I thought it was just me losing lucidity and so I would try to look at my hands or say, “Clarity now”. But this didn’t always work. You might ask, “Wouldn’t looking at your hands be focusing?” Yes and no. Yes you are putting your attention on something, but since it is your own hand and familiar and not out of the ordinary to your perception of reality, it serves to stabilize your energy. Also, what I have learned about focusing in the astral is that your energy is sent to that which you focus upon. If you are focusing on yourself/astral body, well then your build your energy (if that makes sense).

It is the same in waking life, just the energy dynamics are less noticeable. If you know what to look for, though, you can feel the energy exchange as it occurs. I have felt it.

This is the example I gave my husband when I was telling him about my realization:

When you are driving down the highway, you notice the environment – the cars, the signs, the road, the weather, etc. You do not focus on these things, you just notice them. You notice until something is not right then you focus when you have to on that particular thing. So if a car swerved into your path, you would focus on it for that instant and react as needed and then return to noticing.

If you were to instead focus on something purposefully while driving, you would find your perception altered as your energy shifted toward that thing. For example, have you ever been a passenger and focused on the wheels of a car driving next to you? What happens to your perception of your movement or the other car’s movement? In my experience, it always feels like I am getting closer to that car or the other car is swerving into our lane, when in reality neither is happening. It always freaks me out so I don’t do that anymore. lol

So this conversation got the attention of my husband (yay for small victories!). He has a work situation that this applies to. He recognized that his focus on his boss exhausts him. He feels his energy snuffed out when he interacts with her. He understood it was because he was focusing on her too much rather than just taking notice of her. To take notice of a human (ha just caught this! why did I write human?) is to look at them without judgement; to see them as they are and allow them to be that while allowing you to be you. The energy does not intermix.

It’s all a lesson on controlling your own energy (Self). It can be applied to all life situations which involve the exchange of energy. It also works in considering one’s resistance to things/people/situations.

The saying, “That which you resist, persists” stems from the noticing lesson, also. To resist something means you are putting your energy into resisting (fixating). Pushing against the energy. Sometimes even creating a ridge of energy (if you can imagine a mountain this is how it feels) to hold back the person/situation/thing. In a projection, resistance results in the loss of energy just like focus does. It is focus on avoidance.

I know this is a lot to digest. Even I am probably over thinking it, but I can see how it all connects and it is fascinating to me. All of it, everything we do, everything we are is energy. I will be more cognizant of my energy in the coming days. What am I giving away my energy to? Does it serve me to do so? If not, I need to reign it in.

 

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Dream: Protection

Meant to share this earlier.

Dream: Protection

I’m inside a house that is unfamiliar. It is a small house and there is a section (fireplace?) that is barred on three sides with wrought iron decorative railing/fencing. One section, however, is missing. The missing section is pointed out to me by my adviser. He shows me via telepathy a visual of someone sneaking into the house and taking it. This someone comes into the house frequently and takes things. Little things usually, so no one will notice them missing. The person is taking bigger things now, feeling brazen. The reason this someone can get inside is because the door was left unlocked. In fact, all the windows and doors to the house were unlocked. I remember stating that my husband is the culprit. He purposefully leaves the doors and windows unlocked. He does this with his car, too.

I walked across the street to an identical house. The door is wide open. Unlocked. I feel upset by this. I shut the door and there is concern. What will this person take next? How can I assure they won’t get back in when my husband purposefully leaves everything unlocked?

Interpretation

When I awoke from this dream I was concerned and a bit alarmed. My first thought was that I needed to put up protection, like the invoking the violet flame or putting a bubble of protective energy around myself. But this didn’t make sense. I felt protected in that way. So what is this dream about?

Then I thought that I needed to change all the passwords on my accounts. I did this, this morning just in case. lol Can’t be too careful.

The dream kept returning to me despite being lost more than once. I suspect there is a message in there about my marriage since it is my husband who leaves everything unlocked. Robbery symbolizes an identity crisis or loss in life. Leaving something unlocked represents a kind of insecurity; being left wide open to outside threat. I also feel I have no control over the actions of my husband based upon the second house and my feelings about it being left unlocked.

In considering this, I will say that recently our relationship has shifted quite a bit. My husband is being more allowing of my spiritual connections and beliefs. Not that he agrees with them, but that he is allowing me to have that, to be who I am. Of course, when it gets in the way of his wants and beliefs he quickly shifts gears. I don’t know what to think of it all really. Perhaps this is why I feel unable to control him in the dream? I don’t know what to expect anymore.

It could also be that I am letting my husband be in control of me/my life/my path and should not be. Perhaps he is a threat that I am not seeing? The allowance of him into my space is potentially harmful. He is stealing from me. Hmmm. Something to consider………Ugh that interpretation feels spot on. What do I do what that??? [insert expletives]. How do you lock out a spouse? Okay, don’t answer that question it’s rhetorical. Really. lol

 

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Geysers of Kundalini

When we were warned the energy would get more and more intense as this year progressed, I really didn’t think anything of it. But this energy intensity is through the roof and has been (for me at least) since the solstice. I am like a walking zombie most days. Lack of sleep, Kundalini energy pouring through me all.day.long, constant downloads of information, feeling a direct link with the universe/my Council/my Team. This is just way over my head (mind). I can’t keep up.

Thankfully, I did get some sleep last night. BUT – hahaha – guess what? Yep. The K visited. Surprise. Surprise. lol I laugh because that’s all I can do. It is kinda funny. My guides are probably all having popcorn, drinking beer and having a good ol’ time watching this movie that is my life. My Dad is probably there laughing so loud no one can hear what’s going on. Hi Dad! lol No one needs to “hear” anything anyway. It’s all visible in my aura of fireworks and firecrackers.

Dream: Geysers

I reported to a new teaching job. When I did, I was talking one-on-one with my supervisor who had black hair and was my age. He was asking me questions. The one I recall was: Do you like football or tennis? I knew he was asking because they probably wanted me to coach, but football? Really? lol I told him I liked tennis and use to play in high school. He wrote it down and then showed me a map of the Middle East. He pointed to Kuwait and then went over to Afghanistan and pointed at it. This confused me but I connected it to the position I was being considered for. It knew somehow the job was to teach history. The first country corresponded to football and the second to tennis (I know, weird!). The map was so vivid, too. It was like each “teacher” was stationed in a country to “teach”. I felt like I was about to be deployed to serve overseas.

He was about to leave when I asked, “Um, do I get my own classroom?” He replied, “We actually don’t know what position we will be putting you in yet.” Then it was like I was lifted up into the air by some unseen force. As I hovered there with someone I was shown a forest. We were just above the treeline and the forest was quite dense. Then I heard and saw multiple geysers erupting all over the forest.

The water from the geysers was powerful and they were exploding all around me. In this instant my root chakra exploded and a powerful surge of energy shot up through my lower chakras. This woke me up instantly and the surge continued. There was no controlling any of it so I just allowed it. Plus, it was quite pleasant anyway. LOL

Energy and Messages

Thankfully, the energy was bearable but it left me quite sexually frustrated. Lately, when the K hits me like this it leaves me feeling all “hot and bothered” as my mom would put it. This is the K everyone knows best. If you had asked me about Kundalini years ago my reply would have been “sexual energy”. I now know this is not completely true, but my most recent encounters with her are proving she does have quite a sexual appetite.

For approximately an hour I lay there unable to shut off the energy and my lower chakras remained lit up. My lower body felt completely hollow. It actually felt like I had no lower body the energy was so enormous there.

Some may wonder if actually having sex would fix this issue. My answer is – no. It would only exacerbate it. Trust me. lol My advice to anyone in the midst of this kind of energy: do nothing; allow. Oh and try to shut off your mind. That is really hard to do.

While waiting patiently for things to settle down, messages were constantly coming in via my crown. No shutting that down and there were so many that it will be hard to recount them all.

I saw a visual of a large, round watermelon whose fruit was almost completely gone. There were only a few remnants remaining and they were being spooned out. I understood this to be symbolic of my root chakra. It was being completely stripped down; emptied of its contents. I don’t really understand the symbolism but it was explained to me that when it was completely empty it would be refilled with “new” material/energy. The new energy would then surge into the above chakras and clean out any remaining residue in the same way.

With this I saw a pyramid with its base at my feet and the tip at my heart chakra. I was shown the energy filling up the pyramid. I heard with this very clearly: Ishtar. I also heard Ashtar. I feel this was purposeful as my dream indicated I was reporting for reassignment and I have had many memories of being on board ships and even meeting Ashtar himself.

Continued Energy Work

I was able to return to sleep (yay!) and fell into a dream in which I was filling a huge, empty swimming pool with water from a garden hose. I got dirty as I hauled the hose to the side of the pool. The pool itself was not made of concrete but of earth and huge chunks of mud were falling off the sides into the pool as I filled it. I remember watering the grass along the side to try and prevent this.

When I woke the energy was still present in my lower chakras and I could feel it move up, then recede. Up, down, up, down. Really weird. My crown was still active – wide open. Two Beings were positioned on either side of me. I was curled on my side at the time and I was told to lay on my back. When I did, I could hear tones in my ears. Right ear first, then left. I had the urge to reply with a vocalized tone, which did. Again, very strange.

Image source: http://www.clockworld.info/MX/photos/8923007/la-presa/

 

 

 

 

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Merkabah Activated

Too much energy this morning to get my thoughts in order. I feel like I am going to explode I have so much energy swirling inside me. Whoa!

I don’t think I got more than a couple of hours of sleep last night, if that much. The energy settled over me as soon as I laid down. It was unlike any energy sensation I have had before and that is saying a lot. My entire chest and torso was lit up in an energy beyond energy and my crown was wide open. The energy was so strong, so intense, that it made it impossible for me to get comfortable. My entire body was jumping and pulsating and shifting. And when I closed my eyes I got symbols and information and crazy, hectic energy in my head that caused me to feel like I was going to skyrocket into oblivion. Powerful beyond powerful beyond powerful.

I was higher than I have ever been while in body. And I was completely in my body. There was no OBE, no in-between state, no lucid dreams. All of this was while I was fully awake. I felt every bit of it.

I saw pages of symbols, as if someone had written me a letter or I was reading a book. I have no idea what the symbols were now, sorry. I recall being in a place that was familiar but not any place that I have been to on Earth. Maybe it was an astral city, maybe another planet. I don’t know. Everything was gold there, like a light, white gold color, not the yellow gold of the metal. People were gathering there from all over. It was breathtakingly beautiful with a central garden and stairs that led from all around into the garden. There were geometric symbols carved into the stone, specifically the Merkabah and various circular patterns similar to the flower of life.

There was a feeling inside me that was really explosive and alive. I had an almost excruciatingly strong desire to have a make-out session. LOL Not sure why. I just wanted to share what I was feeling. I kept wishing I wasn’t alone but did not act on it. My husband would NOT understand. He would immediately assume I was initiating sex with him. NOT what I wanted. I just had so much love to share. It was just pouring out of my entire Being. Not just my heart, but every single chakra.

I also got more information on Atlantis and the Kundalini. I am still processing it, though. Not sure when I will share it.

The most crazy, powerful part of last night/this morning was the vivid recollection of being inside the Merkabah, feeling the top portion descend and connect with the bottom portion. Then it was spinning all around me and the energy was crazy. I would fall asleep and be thrown into wakefulness over and over again. My mind was unable to keep up and I am not sure how my body didn’t go into convulsions.

When I finally got out of bed, a bit dazed but still experiencing the flood of energy (still am now), the Merkabah was vivid in my mind and I knew mine had been activated. I know it’s a “big deal”, too, but am not sure how or why and don’t really care. All I care about is channeling all of this energy right now.

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On Lucidity

Today I am reminded of a message recently given to me by my guidance:

“If you can take what you have learned via the dreamstate – via your OBEs, via your communications with US, via your inner journey – and apply it to your waking state consciously and with intent you will see that your upsets and dramas over seemingly very large ordeals are surely a waste of your time and a distraction away from your true purpose here. It is in availing yourself of the opportunities you have been given via your spiritual insights and experiences that you will find the most success in this lifetime.”

This message reminder came along with a common saying and one I believe to be true – What you resist, persists.

I am the queen of avoidance (resistance). LOL

So I began to think of my OBEs. What lessons have they taught me? Have I been applying those lessons to waking life?

The evidence will be noted in both my waking and dreamstates. The lessons needed to be learned are more evident in the dreamstate because thought instantly creates reality. Here, in physicality, not so evident. Slower.

Part of being consciously aware is being lucid in waking life, not just in your dreamstate. The amount of lucidity that you have while dreaming is directly proportional to the amount of lucidity you have in your waking life. This is because the dream and the “reality” are one in the same.

On a positive note, I have made huge gains as evident by my dreams. My dreams are blending with my waking state more and more frequently. Often I cannot distinguish one from the other. Did I dream that? Or did that really happen? The answer: Yes. To both. lol

I won’t say “negative” but as a student of life, there are still many, many lessons yet to be learned. My avoidance of certain areas of waking life is beginning to catch up to me. My guidance has been trying to show me in my dreams and OBEs but I do not see. I don’t want to see.

In an OBE, if I do not want to see something and try to avoid it two things might happen: 1. I wake up or 2. I am trapped within the scene until I recognize what it is that needs recognizing and then I am free to move out of that scene. If I wake up, guess what happens if I go OOB again? Yep, I go right back to the scene I left. LOL

This is exactly the same thing that happens in waking life, too, just more slowly and with spaces of time between so that we think we have avoided what we want to avoid. We think, “I am free of [insert hellish situation or that which you wish to avoid]!” Then in a few months, years, even another lifetime, there we find ourselves right back in that situation.

I am not dense, I know this, many of you know this as well. It is true. Life repeats itself until the Truth is seen (lessons learned). If something continues to present itself, there is something still unseen.

At present, I am reminded of an OBE where I continued to come back to my teenage bedroom in my mother’s house over and over (9 times at least) regardless of how hard I tried to escape. I didn’t stay to learn what I needed to learn, so I kept returning. I am reminded of how conscious I was of this while it was occurring. Not very. 😦 In fact, my lucidity has been quite poor for a while now. It has dropped just in the last year.

Similarly, I am reminded of my waking life now. How are my actions similar to my actions in the above OBE scenario? Hahaha Exactly the same. So the solution? Stop trying to leave. Stay put and let life show me what it needs to show me. The lessons are right there to be learned, I just keep resisting them, trying to run from them. Why? Who knows. Probably attachment to outcome. Yep, that’s it.

And in staying put, allowing and accepting my present situation without trying to escape it, what will I find? Who knows. The key is to not over think it. It will find me and when it does and when I allow myself to see that which it shows me, I will be freed of it. This freedom could just be an acceptance of it or even finding joy in it. Ultimately it will free me up to change the scene if I still wish to do so. In an OBE this would be me materializing in a completely new place. 🙂

All of this goes along with following the heart as well. The mind is the one trying to go somewhere else, to greener pastures of whatever. Lucidity (awareness) moves up gradually on a gradient specific to the individual. The heart will tell the mind what to see, not the other way around. In an OBE, if I am not heart centered I am in what I call “the child” personality. I get nowhere in that state usually, but I have a lot of fun doing it. lol The child has been running rampant too long and wreaking havoc on my waking life as well. Love her and lovingly put her in her place (cage her more like it lol).

I hope this makes sense to you all. If not take what does and leave the rest. Or you can label me whatever you like and move on. 😉

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The Temple of Atlantis

Hope you all enjoyed the holiday yesterday. I took the day off. Rested and relaxed as my recent dreams have been indicating I needed to do. Toward the end of the day I got an urge to do yoga so I did so for 50 minutes during which I got flashes of a dream in which I was doing the exact poses I was doing in the particular routine. Most of the poses were for the sacral chakra, which was interesting.

I was awakened around 11:30am by another intense Kundalini dream experience which followed me into wakefulness. This was by far the most profound one yet. I know I keep saying that, bear with me. They just keep getting more and more profound!

Dream: Initiation by the Sisterhood

I don’t recall much of the dream. My sister was the primary focal point, though she was not really my sister but a “sister” character. I remember she was trying to encourage me to do something I normally wouldn’t do (typical of my real-life sister lol). I considered it sexual in nature and so interpreted it as such in the dream. She had asked me to curl up in child’s pose to allow her to insert something into my root chakra (you can see why I thought it was sexual!). I don’t know what she was inserting but when she did it woke me up straight away. Not because it hurt or sent a sexual sensation through my body, but because of the tremendously powerful energy that it created within me and the accompanying visions received.

I am now going to separate into sections my experiences. Be advised that all of the following occurred at the same time. It was instantaneous and very powerful.

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The Kundalini Experience

I saw that she inserted what appeared to be a scepter or a rod of some sort. Never did I feel a sensation of this (thank God) but instead felt a burst of energy in my root chakra that was intensely powerful. It rumbled there, smoldering and waiting as if preparing to explode. At the same instant, a hollow, tube-like structure seemed to form up the central part of my body. One would think this means it followed my spine, but it felt to be in the very center of me and it was quite wide, probably at least as wide as the cardboard tube that holds paper towels. This I know to be Sushumna, the central channel, or nadi, through which the Kundalini flows. I felt Sushumna – every living, breathing inch of it.

Sushumna rose slowly and deliberately. When it reached a chakra that chakra would activate and when it did it felt like a warm, swirling ball of energy. I felt every one my chakras activate all the way to my crown. In the end, Sushumna was felt from my root all the way to my crown as well and I felt frozen in the position in which I found myself.

I was awake through the majority of this experience and it did not in itself alarm me. This is because the Kundalini was not at it’s full intensity. The root was contained but I did feel very intensely my heart and crown. I suspect had I been looking at my energy body at this time that I would have looked like a light show….or perhaps firework display? 🙂

Visions

The part that most alarmed me was that while still awake and experiencing the Kundalini I had the most realistic visions I have ever experienced and that is saying a lot. There was a merging of consciousness at this time that was experienced. That is the best explanation I can give. The feeling was like being sucked into a scene. My consciousness literally was pulled into another Time and place. Or maybe it was the present for there seemed to be no Time at all really. When I try to make sense of it or picture what it must have looked like, I think it must have looked like a blending of my mind with another’s. The image is like my entire head being stretched until it blurs and blends with the scene. Crazy, right!? lol I felt like I was tripping out but that even doesn’t come close to an accurate description.

The visions alarmed me. Not because they were scary but because they were familiar to me. I knew what I was seeing and understood it completely. There was instant Knowing. It was like, “Oh yeah, I remember now.”

I saw something even I am struggling to believe so bear with me and keep an open mind.

There was standing on either side of me two priests (not sure what else to call them). They were wearing distinctive clothing unlike any I have ever seen. It was like a mixture of Egyptian and Mayan. They were holding staves in their hands that were lit with fire on top. Everything was golden in color and the room seemed to be ablaze with fire but it was not hot and the only fire I saw was atop the staves.

These two priests were familiar and I had sudden Knowingness that what I was going through was practiced for thousands of years. It was a rite of passage, an initiation and connected to the priesthood.

At the same time, someone was talking to me but I did not see him. I heard him from all around me as if he were everywhere. I can’t remember now what all he said, but his voice was booming and it felt very surreal. I heard what sounded like Temple of Alantis (note it did NOT sound like Atlantis for there was no “T” heard).

I want to explain how this vision felt a little more. It felt like I was one with the scene. It was not just experiencing it as if I was present there. It was like the knowledge contained in it flowed as one with me. It was as if the Knowledge was mine when received; as if it had always been there.

By this time I was able to sit up and function as normal while this merged state continued (yeah I don’t know how either). I got out a pen and paper and began to write what I was receiving.

I see two priests holding staves of fire on the temple stairs. Steep pyramid rising up behind them resembling a Mayan temple. Fire everywhere. It is as if they [the priests] look into my soul and I looked into theirs. As if I can see into Time or maybe Time is within me. My root is filled with energy and all chakras are lit up but not completely. This is the Pillar; establishment of the Pillar. A rite of passage, one traveled by the initiates of the Temple of Alantis (Atlantis?). I hear Alantis but I think Atlantis. Where’s the T? Vast amounts of knowledge held here. I feel a part of me is activated. I am asked/told I am to do this – be a part of this – lighting the fires within. I am told the fires will rage within me and cannot be put out.

OMG I see the Temple again. There is a massive golden globe lit up with fire from within. It is hanging or hovering at the top of the stairs in the center of the Temple. it spins and the continents are glowing. They do not look like the ones from today. The Arc of the Covenant is from here – it contained ancient knowledge. It [the knowledge] was lost – burned – destroyed.

These images feel sacred in my mind – they are a part of me and these priests are as well. This is my ancient heritage.

There is memory that I did not write down at the time, but I will share now. It was that when Atlantis was destroyed priests (individuals) were sent out with the knowledge they were able to save. They were to share it so that it was not lost, but vast amounts of knowledge were still lost. Some was buried, but most was destroyed over time or distorted over time.

There was Knowing that I was going to receive this knowledge. I was not afraid of it nor was I nervous even.

There was memory of dedicating our lives to our “ancestors in the sky”. I don’t recall doing this myself per se. It was more like We did this but it was the shared memory of it rather than my own. Hard to describe.

My Considerations Afterward

After the energy settled and the merging ended, I was looking at my guides and thinking they were playing a joke on me, laughing at me from wherever they are. This is their personality so I wouldn’t put it past them. Ha!

I, personally, have little to no interest in Atlantis, Egypt, the Maya, or any of this part of our past other than a slight fascination and curiosity. The past life memory I have of being a priestess in Egypt was clarified. I don’t think it was Egypt that I saw/remembered from the life. It was most likely Atlantis. But now I am not sure. Maybe it was Egypt. Maybe it was Meso America. Maybe it was Atlantis. What I saw in this recent merging seemed to mix the two known civilizations. Which is which? Who knows.

All I know for sure is that the Kundalini is REAL. I felt it. And it is ALIVE. This is not just some energy that brings orgasmic sensations. It brings Knowledge far beyond anything I have ever experienced. I experienced BEING the Kundalini. WTF right? lol And the Kundalini wasn’t even fully active. I can’t imagine what I am about to experience as it is clear that I am prepped and ready for whatever it to come. Sushumna is open; completely clear (I felt it up to my crown) and ready. I should be excited, but I’m not. It still feels very much like a dream. And even if I am to receive this knowledge from the past, what am I suppose to do with it anyway? Oh, probably write a book. We’ll see if I am given the tools to do that as I feel completely unprepared and my knowledge inadequate for such a task.

And why did I hear Alantis and not Atlantis??

Edit: I wanted to add, when I awoke and the K was rising, I could still hear fireworks being set off in the neighborhood. I also believe that had I looked at the clock when I first woke up that it would have been 11:11pm. Wish I had looked.

 

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Dreams: Renewing Vows and Cat and Owl

Some more vivid dreams.

Dream: Renewing Vows

I was in a small dress shop with an older girlfriend and her daughter. She was taking me to the dresses, discussing which one’s we would buy. They had chosen these very gaudy, gowns with petticoats that made it nearly impossible for them to sit down. I remember saying that I wanted something less dressy, more casual. I looked at a slinky gown of white and gold. The older lady friend said, “Are you sure? You should go all-out for this!” I knew the event we were preparing for was my marriage ceremony, only this one was a renewal ceremony. We were already married.

We entered a restaurant and sat down at a table together to have dinner. Everyone seemed quite happy and excited but I was not feeling this way. I don’t remember what everyone was talking about but I felt like a whole lot of time was missing from my memory. I didn’t remember getting married and I definitely would not hang out with people like this. Who were they anyway?

My husband, who I did not recognize and seems only like a blur in my memory now, offered me a drink. It was orange colored and he said it was alcoholic. He said, “Give it a try. It is good. See for yourself.” I took the small cup of orange liquid and drank it. It tasted like juice. I said, “There’s no way this is alcoholic.” Everyone laughed but me.

Interpretation

The feeling here is that I was being reminded that my Counterpart and I were married and had been since the beginning of time. I do not recall this, of course, but a part of me does. In this dream the upcoming marriage was being discussed and was considered a renewal of vows because that is technically what it is. I was not comfortable with the situation because I have so many gaps in my memory that none of it fits. So I was downplaying the whole thing, thus choosing a less gaudy dress than the others. The orange drink is curious. I fully expected a strong alcoholic flavor but instead tasted the most sweetest juice I had ever tasted. Orange as a color denotes feeling fully alive.

Dream: Cat and Owl

The scene was inside an unfamiliar house. I was with my sister-in-law and she was talking about having another baby. She was also very concerned about money, trying to figure out where all of hers went and how to make ends meet. I was helping her with her considerations and talking to her about her budget.

I began to get semi-lucid in this dream. The signs were there to wake me up within the dream, but I never quite caught on.

I went into a room and then turned around and the door was missing. This made me feel very off and I got dizzy and disoriented within the dream for a moment. I touched the wall to reestablish myself in the scene. I could feel the texture and coolness of it and see the beige coloring. Afterward, I spotted the door and went back through it. My SIL said to me, “Hey, didn’t you go in the door over there? How did you come out here?” I was as confused as she was.

Then I was outside standing in the middle of a sidewalk. I was talking to someone but can’t remember about what and I do not remember seeing anyone there. Right in front of me, standing there staring at me, was the largest owl I had ever seen. He just stared at me and seemed almost like a statue except that he would occasionally blink his eyes. He was probably about the height of a small child, so very large. Larger than any owl I had ever seen.

I remember thinking I should take a picture because this was by far the strangest thing I had ever seen. At this point I was convinced the dream was real – this was really happening. Then a very large, orange, tabby cat approached me. He was nice but also way bigger than any normal cat should be. He came up to me purring and I petted him on the head but had the thought I should be careful because cats can be unpredictable and he might decide to bite me for no reason.

Then the cat went and stood right next to the massive owl and they both just stared at me.

Interpretation

When I awoke from this dream I felt myself come back into my body similar to what I feel when returning from an OBE. Yet I was not lucid enough in the dream to recognize this.

The owl is still very vivid in my mind. He was HUGE. And so strange. His head was very smooth with no feathers poking up indicative of the Great Horned Own who is my main animal totem. He was the typical mottled brown I am use to seeing and his eyes were yellowish.

Owls are symbolic of the subconscious, of expanded awareness, mysticism, and all things spiritual. They can see “beyond”.

The orange cat was also huge and stood nearly the same height as the owl. I have not seen cats for a while in my dreams. They typically symbolize feminine sexuality and sensuality. The orange, like in the dream before, is feeling alive and tuned into one’ senses. I kept worrying it would bite me, probably because I am worried my own sexual tendencies will bite me if I give into them. lol

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Velantium

I awoke around midnight from another dream experience that has me a bit shaken.

Dream: John 3:16

I was alone in a dark room. Prior to this there had been a brief episode of sliding down tubes similar to being on a water slide. I stood in the center of the this room and a light was shining down on me from above. I could not see the source of the light. The room was made of rough, dark stone and reminded me of a dungeon.

Scripture was being read aloud. I was reciting it. The specific scripture that I kept repeating was John 3:16:  

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

I was reciting other parts of this chapter of John, too, but I don’t remember it.

Eventually I was screaming this up at the light, hoping someone would hear me. I could hear others reciting the scriptures with me but I couldn’t see them. I remember being both the person standing there and the Observer of the scene. As the Observer I saw that the me standing there was draped in chains.

As I became more and more lucid, the scripture became more prominent and the scene less so. I focused on the 3:16 and somehow felt it corresponded to the month of March – March, 16 (2016).

Message: Velantium

I awoke from this dream with a start and feeling as if I had just been drowning. There was a panic I felt but it was not overwhelming. I was also very confused and disoriented so it took me a few seconds to get my bearings.

There was a group nearby in the shadows. I recognized them but because I was in such a frantic state still, their energy scared me and caused me to doubt their intentions. One Being stepped forward, just a silhouette. He had on his head a pointy headdress, which he took off and placed on the ground as he knelt in front of me. I recognized the headdress. I had seen it in a recent OBE on the lady/angel who had been standing over me. What was it? Was it a crown? Was it a helmet of some sort? Why was it pointy? And then I noticed all the others with who accompanied this Being who was kneeling down wore similar headdresses.

There came with this scene before me a feeling of not wanting to experience this, whatever it was. There was also a fear of what it meant and a knowing that it was not going to just “go away”. In realizing this there was an ever more fierce desire to escape the inescapable.

The group before me, whatever their origins, whoever they were, began to transmit messages. I was unable to do anything about receiving them. If I tried to remain awake, I was pulled into the in-between where visions and messages seemed to flood my mind.

I received this message:

17,900 years of waiting.

A great flood (vision of a room being flooded and feeling of connection to Altantis).

An army of mystics returns.

Velantium.

Eventually I returned to sleep. When I awoke later I felt calmer but the dream experience was still vivid in my mind. There still is a feeling that this, whatever it is, will not stop. It makes me feel a bit crazy on the one hand but on the other I feel totally sane, maybe more sane than ever.

I felt very much connected to the vision that came with the above message. I recognized it somehow. There was a conversation somewhere in the night with my guides reminding me that I could not ignore “the call”. The feeling is so intense that I want only to withdraw completely from this spiritual path and immerse myself in mundane things just to feel normal again.

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Dreams from Last Night

Dreams from last night. Probably why I woke up in a bad mood. lol

Dream: Keys to Any Car

I was in a mall-type environment at a gathering of teachers. While waiting I browsed a shop and dilly dallied around a while trying to decide whether I wanted to buy anything there or not. There were candles and other novelty items. I remember looking at a pillow for my daughter with a unicorn on it. It was $12 and I thought that too much.

I left the store to find some food but the food court there was made up of fast food type places, all of which I wanted nothing to do with. I wandered here and there, stepping over a bunch of sleeping people laid out on the floor. What was odd here is the floor was bright white and all the people were laying under white blankets.

I finally went through some doors that led to the parking lot. Suddenly I was not alone. There was a man with me who I never saw directly. We seemed to share thoughts. I remember thinking, ” I forgot where I parked my car.” I held my key fob in my hand and pressed it, hoping it would make my car beep and flash its lights. It did make a car’s lights flash and I heard a strange beeping that seemed similar to Morse Code. I went up to the car but since it wasn’t mine (it was a Datsun), I stepped back. My friend said, “Looks like your keys fit this car.” I said, “But it’s not mine.” He said, “It could be yours.” Then he held out his hand and there were two more key fobs. One was black, the other silver and much smaller. I looked at it and remember thinking, “All of these cars are mine.”  This is when I realized the entire parking lot was dusted in snow.

I went back inside and all the food shops were closing up. I was really hungry by this time and wished I had just gotten some of the Asian food there. I saw the Asian shop closing up and asked a young Asian lady why she was closing. She said, “It’s 1pm. Closing time.”

imagesInterpretation

Mall = choices and decisions in one’s life.

Pillow = comfort, relaxation and taking it easy on one’s self. Looks like I don’t want to take it easy on myself.

12 = message from one’s guides to not be hindered by old habits that need to be changed. Try to look at new experiences in a positive way.

Unicorn = idealism, hope and/or insight into a situation. It can also represent one-sided views.

White = purity, new beginnings, awakening, or a blank slate.

Sleeping people = aspects of my subconscious that I am not alert to. I see it as me not wanting to be alert to them because I avoid them.

Keys = opportunity.

Lost Car = dissatisfaction with some aspect of life. It means I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to go. This is my life story. lol

Snow = inhibitions. Something is holding me back.

Food = nourishment of one’s body, mind, soul, emotions, etc. I was wishing I had not delayed so long in choosing the food I wanted to eat.

Dream: Adopted Girl

I was presented with a tiny, Australian Shepherd puppy, a tri-colored one. I cradled it in my arms and saw it quite clearly. So cute! Someone was taking newborn photos of it and as soon as I recognized this, the puppy turned into a newborn baby girl. There was discussion as to whether I wanted to keep it. At first I wanted to. She was so cute. But then I worried about her being adopted. Who was her mother? What would she look like? What would she be like? Yet I kept snuggling her close. I instantly loved her.

Then it was like some time passed and I was inside this room with so many people that it almost seemed crowded. We were all sitting on couches with giant pillows. The main color was green but I also saw some in blue. I was discussing my baby with someone and ended up on a walkway in my mind during this discussion. I was with children who were running and playing. I ran after them and came upon a small, shrub-like tree laden with tiny, green, round fruit. I said, “Wow! There are 50 fruits on this tree!” The man with me said, “Yes, it’s an old avocado tree.” I said, “I love avocado!” He said, “Look on the ground. There may be some ripe ones still.” I looked and found several large avocados but they were all over ripe and no good for eating. The man said, “The tree is very old and nearing the end of its life.”

Then I was back in the room with all the people but I was sitting right in the middle of the avocado tree. I reached down and felt the over ripe avocados below me. Then, I saw very clearly a young woman with very white blonde hair. I knew instantly she was my daughter, the one who had just been a baby. I saw another blonde girl on the other side of the room. She was a bit younger and I knew she was the girl’s sister. What was odd is that everyone in the room had dark hair except these two girls (an myself I assume). The girl who was my daughter had earned the reputation of being very sexually promiscuous, unfortunately. I was not unhappy about it but remember seeing her flaunting her breasts and thinking she was very beautiful.

Interpretation

Puppy = playfulness or a blossoming friendship.

Baby = innocence and new beginnings. The fact that I was questioning whether to keep her indicates my uncertainty regarding the new beginning.

Pillows (again) = I need to take it easy, relax.

Green = healing

Blue = communication.

Avocado = rewards for hard work and persistence towards a goal. Being those on the tree were still maturing indicates that there is still some time to go before this goal is reached. The ones over ripe could indicate goals that have already been reached, the rewards for which have not yet been acknowledged.

Tree = hopes, desires, knowledge, self-development and individuation. Since the tree is nearing the end of its life it could indicate that this time in my life is nearing its end as well.

Hair = sensuality, seduction, vanity. Being it is white it could indicate potential exists here. I suspect that I am still struggling with these aspects of myself and so seeing it as my daughter.

images (1)Dream: School Bus

I was flying with a girl near a highway overpass. It was crowded with cars and we both flew up and selected a blue car to follow. I remember becoming the car and speeding down the road.

Then I was inside a school bus. My husband was driving. He was driving very reckless and was not being very nice, yelling about the traffic, etc. I remember looking out of the window at one point and seeing a family sitting in the back of a trailer. They were helping their son sell hamburgers to people so he could earn extra money. I remember being very impressed and telling my husband. He only focused on the fact that they were selling hamburgers which were not good for people.

The traffic slowed and I saw the cars stopped ahead. My husband yelled to me, “What road should we be on! Tell me now! Hurry! What road??” I could see highway 79 and told him, “79. Take that exit.” I pointed and he followed and I felt the bus lurch as he swerved and then slowed to take the exit. The last thing I remember was noticing that the exit had what appeared to be fencing on either side and a very sharp, 90 degree turn.

Interpretation

Car = life path. Being it is one on the highway overpass, perhaps I am choosing the “high road”? lol

Blue = communication.

School bus = indicates that an important life journey is about to take place, one that is needed for my spiritual growth. Considering my husband is driving and not being nice, I do not think I  will like this path. lol

Hamburger = dissatisfaction with some situation or relationship in your life. I know what that is. I talk about selling them and my husband doesn’t like it. Ha!

79 = shedding old aspects of life that no longer suit me or my True Self. It indicates that certain issues are coming to an end allowing for the new to come into my life.

Fence = obstacle that is standing in my way; feeling “fenced in” or confined within a relationship.

 

 

 

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On Dreams and Expectations

I’ve gotten several indicators that today is the day of my “new birthday”. Yet nothing so far has happened. I slept hard for the first time in over a week, though. Yay! I fasted all day on the 2nd as instructed, but it was a juice fast since I couldn’t handle no food at all. I even got to astral project during a nap twice yesterday! So why didn’t the Kundalini rising continue as foretold? Probably because I’m a schmuck.

I was not in a good mood when I woke up either. I was mad because there was no K energy and nothing happened after I spent all day fasting. I was being very hard on myself for falling for this “nonsense” – all of it from my connections to my Council, to Twin Flames, and soul exchanges. I even had it in my head to just stop writing in my blogs altogether. I have been doing so for long enough anyway – since 2011! 5 years of writing and I could have written several books in all that time instead of babbling away about random spiritual life happenings, dreams, OBEs and my rambling considerations of such things.

Taken In-Between

One of my guides was very close and I was pulled into the in-between where he was standing next to me. His size and coloring were immediately  apparent. He stood at least two feet taller than me and his coloration was of greens and blues that seemed to shift and move as if he were iridescent. Unfortunately, I could not see his face. He was most definitely not human!

We were inside a small viewing porticus looking over a beautiful, expansive city that extended as far as I could see. The land upon which the city was situated was very flat and I could see lights dotted about and in lines zig-zagging here and there indicating buildings and movement similar to one of our Earth cities. I was surprised to be there with him but immediately disinterested, feeling he was trying to distract me with other worldly delights. But this was not his intent at all. He spoke to me about this city, even giving it a location in space. I lost the name of the location almost immediately but knew this was a grand city whose primary purpose wast to extract a certain mineral resource that was not available on Earth. I recognized we were standing in some kind of viewing window overlooking this city from high above. I suspected then we were on some sort of space craft.

The mere presence of his energy caused me to immediately shift into my heart space. It’s like he flipped a switch and my mind shut down and my heart opened up.

ET

Discussing Expectation

Then he was talking to me, discussing expectation. I am upset because I feel I am not allowed to have future expectations. I think, “But this is what motivates me and gives me something to look forward to!”

My guide gave an example, then. He said, “If a man is shot, does he not bleed?” Yes, of course. Then he said, “There are some things you know will happen.” And the word, “Science” came to mind followed by the all familiar phrase (Newton’s Third Law of Motion), “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”

I thought about it and I understood. Sure. Whatever. That still makes me feel like crap because the information I get about spiritual things is by no means scientific. I have not studied what I am going through and neither have very many others. It is hard to find information about the K energy, about spiritual awakening, about all the stuff I am experiencing. There seems no specific pattern, no clear-cut stages, no “if this happens, then this happens”. It all seems up to chance.

My guide then explained that having hopes/dreams is not the same as having expectations or attaching to a certain expectation/outcome. It is the attachment to a certain outcome – the “putting all your eggs in one basket” approach – that is to be avoided. It is by doing this that we become upset when things don’t go as we would like. Instead, we should not hold any one outcome as better or worse than the other. We should accept the outcome as a learning experience, learn from it and be pleased we were allowed an opportunity to learn from it.

He then gave began explaining the purpose of dreams and as I typed this he came through quite easily and unexpectedly as if to reiterate his point:

“Dreams are the explosion of our creative potential into a specific targeted direction. Once we dream them, they are dreamed and we do not dwell on them long. They are gone as soon as they appear and we hold them not in our minds as the “one thing” we must or should have. Dreams are the canvas upon which we paint our life. Without them, we would have no life worth living for life indeed would be very drab.”

With this I was reminded of my projections and how when things within the astral environment change I do not flinch or allow it to cause me upset. I note it, accept it and move on, even if that object or thing happens to change multiple times within the projection. Very often I am surprisingly pleased that the change has occurred. It is viewed as “new” in that moment and like a child I find it amusing and fun.

For example, doors are always moving around in my dreams and my projections. They will start out where they are suppose to be and then reappear behind me or disappear altogether. I do notice this happening, or else I would not remember it at all, but I do not become upset or worried about it. I see the change and think, “That wasn’t there before” and immediately it is gone from my mind, nothing more than a mild curiosity that had I dwelt upon it would have distracted me from what I was there to learn and ultimately ended the projection altogether.

“So you see, my dear one, how our dreams allow us the opportunity to try on different realities so that we can choose correctly in this physical incarnation that which we would like to experience. I say “correctly” only so that you understand that we all have choices, multitudinous choices, from which to select and though all are correct not all will be tried and tested within the dream state. If you can take what you have learned via the dreamstate – via your OBEs, via your communications with US, via your inner journey – and apply it to your waking state consciously and with intent you will see that your upsets and dramas over seemingly very large ordeals are surely a waste of your time and a distraction away from your true purpose here. It is in availing yourself of the opportunities you have been given via your spiritual insights and experiences that you will find the most success in this lifetime.”

All of this I was surely not expecting upon rising this morning! What a surprise! “It does indeed give you something to chew on, does it not dear heart?” Yes, indeed.