Not a usual thing for me, I know, but poetry seemed appropriate at this time. Sometimes there is just so much emotion and too few words.

The Dream that Persists

Ease is what I wish
yet resistance is what I find.
How to allow and be at peace
through this troubling time
is heavy on my mind.

My heart is where I need to be
yet within it pain hides.
Fear of a deepening despair
taking me out with the tide. 
An undercurrent is all I find.

If only I could recover the trust
in what my heart tells me.
Where once it resided is empty
demolished by what was unseen.
What’s left is beyond repair.

Even my dreams offer no counsel;
silence from without and within.
Asking me to feel the sorrow
so I can feel the love again.
It’s just too much for me to bear.

I wish I could open the window
to my heart like I once did.
But I’ve locked it on purpose
afraid the pain will come again.
Yet I outstretch my hand…

Have I been forgotten?
Has it all been in vain?
If only I had known
I’d have avoided this pain.
Tell me you understand…

If this is all an illusion
why does it feel so real?
Bound by contracts forgotten
Unheard my every appeal.
Tell me you feel it, too…

Through the veil I feel peace
reaching through to take my hand.
Yet I feel undeserving
preferring another reprimand.
The rewards seem so few.

Yet I listen and find hope,
somehow it still exists
in this darkened space by that window
to the dream that persists.