So much for sleep…..lol

Let me take a couple steps back and explain.

Yesterday was a good day. I was feeling more stable emotionally – less depressed, less apathetic, more hopeful. As a result my day went smoothly. Mid-afternoon I was researching Kundalini support in my area (there’s none btw) and stumbled upon a Kundalini yoga free introductory course online. I figured I might as well do it and so read through the first few lessons and tried some of the meditations and mantras that were suggested. I figured, why not? Here is the website in case you are curious and/or interested in a free course.

I didn’t decide to full-on start a Kundalini Yoga practice because I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea considering my Kundalini is already pretty active. So I just played a bit with it and enjoyed the information presented. Mostly, in my boredom, I was looking for something to occupy myself with in order to make the evenings pass quicker. When trying out a few of the meditations and mantras I felt my third-eye activate, which in itself is a good indicator.

Prior to sleep I practiced what I could recall from the first few chapters I had read online. I realize now that I probably should have reviewed the material before doing so because I did an energizing breath meditation that was not necessarily ideal for preparing to sleep! lol I didn’t do a complete round, though, just spoke the words and breathed as instructed for a short period of time.

As I settled down to sleep a male energy became apparent and the conversation between us brought about some mild energy sensations. My heart chakra lit up as did my crown and third-eye. I don’t recall the conversation much now except for a few odd bits of information. For example, I remember “fire” and “change” and the mentioning of progress being made.

Eventually my heart started to beat quicker in anticipation of the perceived Kundalini energy. It’s like I was on high alert and so my body responded in kind. I experienced a kind of crazy anxious energy in my heart chakra. It was bothersome and made it impossible for me to fall asleep. I have only felt a similar energy once before and that was after I met my physical counterpart (some call it twin flame) in person back in 2016. The energy is uncomfortable and the only way I was able to manage it in the past was to lay on my stomach. So, I lay on my stomach but found little relief. The male energy instructed me to, “allow” and “go with” the energy and it would reveal what it wanted me to know.

After over an hour of this kind of energy I told the male energy, “I need to sleep”. It was getting close to midnight and I was extremely tired. I rolled onto my left side and attempted to sleep. As soon as I began to relax I realized I was conversing with the male energy again. I saw him and felt him put his hand on my back, right between my shoulder blades. The heart energy was warm and spread out as he held his hand there. Then I felt a small bubble of energy move up my body from my feet to my tailbone and then up my spine. It paused at the space between my second and third chakra. I remember the male energy saying, “There, you see?” I recognized the blockage and sensed that this male energy wanted to help me work through it.

Throughout the interaction with this male energy a song was playing in the back of my mind: Beautiful Day by U2. I kept hearing, “It’s a beautiful day. Don’t let it get away….”

From this point on it gets weird and thankfully my memory is hazy. I seemed to be perceiving all kinds of thoughts and visuals from other people all at the same time. I saw and felt things that made no sense and they were piled one on top of the other in layers. My best guess is that these layers of experience/memory were what complied the blockage, but I am not completely sure because I had to disconnect from it in order to get into a place where I could sleep.

Both my ears started ringing pretty loudly during this time also.

There was a point where my left hand began to tingle as if going numb. My fingers specifically were tingling as if needles were being poked into them and electric zaps were sparking with each prick. And it was not getting better with movement even after several minutes. I was reminded of the other night when I kept waking up worrying about my heart, feeling it would stop in my sleep. I thought, “Am I having a heart attack? Is numbness and tingling in the left hand a sign of heart attack?” After what seemed like forever the tingling subsided.

Somehow I did fall asleep, which is quite amazing considering the onslaught of imagery and the crazy heart energy that made me feel so damn anxious!

Vision

When I woke this morning I was not happy to be waking up because I got so little sleep and what sleep I did get did not cause me to feel rested. The intensity of the energy was what was so difficult and I realized if I were to ever be in close quarters with someone I had an energetic connection with that I would likely not get any sleep and would go crazy from exhaustion.

I recall a flash of a vision upon waking that has me wondering. It was a piece of paper that looked like a death certificate. I recall seeing “Birth” with a date I cannot recall. Then I saw “Death” and next to it was written a year: “2048”. Below that was more information but I have since forgotten it. I wonder now if the information was about me? Am I set to die in 2048? If so, that is in line with what I have perceived before, that I will die in my 60’s. The thing that bothers me is that it is only 20 years away. That seems like a long time but I know that it is not.

The song on my mind when I received this vision was, Ironic.

My interpretation of this song message is that it is likely that by the time I die I will finally want to live.

That would be very ironic.