I woke early around 5am feeling very pessimistic. My thoughts were on how my life was not going to change for some time. The feelings I had were numerous – boredom, overwhelm, depression, hopelessness, futility.  I knew the messages from previous dreams indicate that I will be financially very well off and comfortable, wanting for nothing. Yet I also knew the money could not – would not – provide happiness. All the money in the world cannot fill the void I feel inside me.

Dream Letter from a Friend

I returned to sleep. My friend approached me in my dream. Rather than talk she handed me a hand written letter. The entire first page was blank – on purpose. It felt like what she was saying was very private. As I read it I felt her emotion and cried along with her. I tried to hug her but she pushed me away. I knew it was because she was feeling overwhelmed and could not handle feeling my emotion on top of her own.

I remember sitting by her at a kitchen table as I read. She described feeling like all her energy was being sucked away and was asking why others didn’t just leave her alone and give you space. She also mentioned moving to a town with only 10 residents called Oak Grove or Oak Knoll or something similar. What I remember here is how it was written – 0-10. This made her feel better as it involved returning to school to take an additional 30 credits and living in this small town while she went to school and “It wouldn’t be for very long.” The town felt Native and ancient and part of her excitement was in bringing others to move there, too. I remember thinking that it was an odd idea to try and repopulate a town. Why do that?

Afterward I prepared her some pancakes and gave her an option of syrup. She selected the type of syrup I would usually have. I then made myself something out of Crispix cereal – rectangular prisms but ultimately I crushed them, put them in a bowl with milk and gave them to my daughter because I did not want to eat it. I apologized to my friend for not giving her the cereal.

Then we were walking in a neighborhood. I had my dog and we began to head in a certain direction but an angry, black dog was up ahead and not on a leash. I turned around to protect my dog but the angry dog came in our direction so I picked up my dog to protect him.

The dog morphed into a crazy woman with black hair who was raving mad. Others in the neighborhood came to assist to try and get her to a nearby school to be picked up by the authorities. As we walked toward the school the woman was trying to eat the head off a small dog. A woman I once worked with who I will call “Nix” (probably symbolic) came and ushered the woman to the school. I remember saying to her and the crazy woman, “Us Leos….” but can’t recall what I said. Ahead I saw the school doors and the children playing and knew all would be okay.

Kundalini Vibrations

I came out of the dream but did not awaken. Instead my head was vibrating so intensely that I was in a bit of shock. Not only did it vibrate but it made a loud, “Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh” sound as if my heart was beating inside my head but it was not my heart at all. The sound was internal and all around me at the same time. The sound was thunderously loud and not at all like what I have experienced when exiting my body to explore the astral realms.

I could feel a distinct channel of energy in the center of my head, like a cylinder of it. It felt as if the cylinder of energy was inserted via my crown and was headed down toward my throat. The sensation of it continued to grow for a period of time. So long that I thought for sure my mind’s eye was about to be filled with inner vision, an experience I am not unfamiliar with.

My head felt as if it was being pounded but without pain. The vibrations no longer felt normal but were so violent that my astral head felt to be shifting left and right and up and down, shaken like one would shake a mixed drink. I knew that soon I would be filled with clear vision and my astral eyes would be forced open. This I have experienced before but for some reason in this particular moment I had a fleeting thought – “What will I see?” With this thought came anxiety. I was afraid of what I would be shown.

The fearful thought forced an instant stop to it all. It was as if it never happened. When I opened my eyes, tears were streaming out, but I was not crying.

Reflection 

It seems that I am afraid of “seeing”. Others have often called me a “seer” and though I agree that I can and often do see things others do not, I often curse this ability because I feel powerless to do anything to change the future revealed to me.

I am able to see my own future, which I am told is a rarity also. Many times what I see about my own life path brings about intense emotion – a sense of “here it comes” and “be ready”. I know it is meant as a heads up, to warn me and prepare me, but there is often little I  can do to prepare because the specifics of what will be are caught up in symbolism and often difficult to interpret. Sometimes I am shown and/or told specifics. It has happened enough now that I dread receiving these messages because they pretty much always lead to difficult times.

Despite asking to not be shown things about my own future, it still happens. I get messages upon waking, in dreams and sometimes even during the day. The more I ignore and try to block them, the more loud and in my face they become.

The Kundalini experience this morning is one of those obvious messages. The dream message I received yesterday was not fully acknowledged so my guidance found another method to get the message across. One that was more forceful.

I am refusing to see. Blocking my intuition and inner vision.

The dream I had this morning indicates that I am also refusing to “eat cereal”. Cereal has often come through as a message of change, going in a new direction or on an adventure. In one OBE a while ago now, I chose cereal over oatmeal (sameness, comfort). I asked a guide who was present in that OBE what it meant. He said, “Sometimes you want cereal.” So for me to reject the cereal in my dream indicates I am afraid of taking the risks that come with such change.

The Kundalini activity in my head is typical of a clearing of a blockage. In my experience with such openings more are likely to follow. If I am resistant, the opening will be more difficult, painful even to the point of potentially creating physical issues.

Note: I find it interesting that I recently had a dream about doing time in a sleep chamber, approximately one month. Now I am having crown chakra activity and the crown chakra is about being AWAKE and AWARE, the opposite of being ASLEEP. It seems I am progressing toward waking up from a period of slumber.