Monthly Archives: February 2022

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Class 6 Rave ABC’s: Keynoting

This week is the final week of the Human Design course, Rave ABC’s. I am taking it via the International Human Design School (IHDS). Last week there was a break to give the students more time to work on the assignment: keynoting another student in the class.

What is a keynote? Keynotes are archetypal words and phrases that express someone’s unique truths about specific aspects of their character, defined nature, and genetic attraction to conditioned Not-Self patterns. Keynotes can speak directly to a person’s cells and be profound because keynotes come from precise, logical and mechanical formulas that express life and resonate at a mental, emotional, and biochemical level for that person.

Keynotes are NOT an interpretation of the BodyGraph.

Keynoting is when you link together keynote words and phrases within sentences to form a paragraph based on a BodyGraph.

When hearing the keynotes for their BodyGraph, people new to HD may mostly recognize Not-Self behaviors. So, keynoting indicates where their “problems” reside.

Elements of keynoting include: defined gates, aura type, channels, circuits, profile type, etc. The top three elements to consider when keynoting are: the red and black lines on the BodyGraph (tunnels/roads, unconscious/conscious), the three types of circuitry (Individual, Collective, Tribal), and the hexagram structure (the 6 hexagrams that compose the numbers of the profile).

Examples of keywords and phrases:

Red/Black lines: aware, unaware, conscious, unconscious, overpass, road, tunnel.

Basic verbs for aura type:

Generator – Respond or available to.
Projector – When invited, when recognized.
Manifestor – Impact, act, inform.
Reflector – wait 28 days, cycle of the moon.

Phrases for authority:

Emotional – wait to sense/find your clarity.
Sacral – wait to respond, what does your spontaneous gut say?
Splenic – what does your spontaneous gut say?
G-Center – when invited what does your unique identity say?
Ego – when you inform, what does your ego say?
Mental/no inner authority – After talking it over with others, what do you hear yourself say?
No inner authority (Reflector) – After waiting a cycle of the moon (or 28 days)….

Defined center keynoting phrases:

Sacral – Creativity, life force, work, availability.
Throat – Manifestation, communication, expression, metabolism.
Root – Pressure, adrenaline, stress.
Spleen – Survival, be healthy, intuition, spontaneous, safe.
Ajna – Thought, conceptualize.
Head – Mental pressure, consciousness, inspiration.
G – Love, identity, direction, self.
Ego/Heart – Will power, resolve, worth/value.
Solar Plexus – Feelings, emotion, The Wave, There is no truth in the Now.

Phrases for the undefined centers (Not-Self themes):

Sacral – Not knowing when enough is enough.
Throat – Trying to attract attention.
Root – In a hurry to be free of pressure.
Spleen – Holding onto what isn’t good for you.
Ajna – Pretending to be certain.
Head – Thinking about things that don’t matter.
G – Fixated on trying to find love and direction.
Ego/Heart – Trying to prove yourself.
Solar Plexus – Avoiding confrontation and truth.

Keynoting Examples

The class was given several BodyGraphs to use as practice. While I won’t share those BodyGraphs, I can share the keynoting I did as my assignment. I was assigned another Self-Projected Projector like myself, but they had more definition than me.

I used the following aspects of the BodyGraph to guide my keynoting:

Type: Projector
Strategy: Wait for the invitation
Authority: G, self-projected
Not-Self/Open Themes: Worrying about what doesn’t matter, Holding onto what isn’t good for you, Not knowing when enough is enough, Trying to prove yourself, Avoiding confrontation and truth, In a hurry to be free of pressure.
Channels/Circuitry: 23-43 Channel of Structuring, Gate of Insight and Gate of Assimilation, Individual Knowing Circuit, “empower efficiency”. 1-8 Channel of Inspiration, Individual Knowing Circuit, “creative self-expression”, “I know I can or cannot make a contribution”.

Below is my first attempt at keynoting:

You are someone designed to wait for an invitation to guide others. Once recognized, your unique identity empowers others through your genius of creative self-expression, inspiring others to see and think differently. If you don’t recognize when enough is enough, you may end up rushing around unable to relieve the pressure you feel to avoid confrontation. Then, if you become preoccupied with what doesn’t matter, you risk holding onto what is no longer good for you while in an attempt to prove yourself to others.

The following is the keynoting a classmate did for me:

You are designed to wait for the invitation to guide others. Once recognized, you may empower others by being a creative role model. You are a visionary driven by love and beauty, with the focus to express your inspirations and live your unique identity. You are successful when you lead by example, rather than with explanations. You are able to lead others when you come from a place of inner direction, free from identifying with others passions or desires, not trying to prove your worth or answer the greater mysteries of life. You are fueled by the needs of your community and to support their potential. It is important for you to reflect, before being invited to share your insight. When you become wise about knowing your limits and what is healthy, you can begin to lead others by simply being and showing them new ways of living.

The bolded portions are what I feel are not completely accurate. Sure the 1-8 channel is about leading by example as is my 6th line; however the part “rather than with explanations” doesn’t sit right with me. I have experienced my greatest feelings of success when I have used my voice, specifically teaching others and providing explanations, examples, info! So to say that providing explanations will not lead to success for me, well that is hugely discouraging. How does one teach without using explanations? They don’t. 

As for “fueled by the needs of your community” – I am anything but community-driven. I don’t like groups, and community in general is not who I strive to support or help. I work one-on-one. I enjoy helping individuals and am “fueled” by the needs of the individual not groups or the community.

In general, I do not strongly identify with being a role model to others….at least not yet. Leading by example is not something I desire nor aspire to. I also do not feel like I am a visionary driven by love and/or beauty. Overall, “creative role model” just feels incorrect. I do have half that channel unconscious, though, which could be why I feel that way.

My response to the above Keynoting is a requirement of the assignment, also. I have yet to respond with what I feel resonates and what does not.

Many other students have submitted their keynoting and, so far, mine is the shortest. Most are much, much longer. My understanding of keynoting is that it is meant to be precise and to the point, not long-winded and wordy, so that is how I did mine.

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Projector and Generator Relationships

This Mother’s Day, I awoke to hearing my husband curse as he walked downstairs. I immediately knew that he was cursing at me because I opted to skip doing his laundry. I did the rest of the family’s laundry, just not his. I did it a few days ago and he just figured out that his laundry wasn’t done. He’d expected me to do it because I usually always do. My point was made – the only time he notices that I do the laundry is when I don’t do his. Ha!

So he did his laundry – washed it and put it in the dryer. When I heard the dryer buzz, I quietly went down and folded some of it – his shirts and those clothing items that will wrinkle easily – because I know he will just leave them there (sometimes for days) and they will wrinkle. He will likely not talk to me about at all or if he does he will make me wrong for it.

This may just sound like typical marital tension, and perhaps it is, but it has me contemplating the why behind all our disagreements. What I concluded is that it all comes down to our different Human Design Type. He is a Manifesting Generator and I am a Projector.

My biggest complaint about my husband is that he seems almost incapable of stopping, slowing down and just being. When he does slow down, he usually falls asleep. Then when he wakes up, he is off again. The Energizer Bunny – literally. All I have ever wanted is one-on-one time with him doing things we enjoy together. We have the most fun when we go on hikes or runs together, but we have fun doing others things, also. The keyword here, though, is “one-on-one”. It’s not that I don’t want to share him but that I prefer this dynamic. I feel closer to him, more heard, more seen, more recognized. When we do things in a group, I feel invisible not only to the group, but to him. Sadly, many times when we are one-on-one and talking, he will fall asleep on me. OMG it is infuriating! Or even worse, someone will call him and he will end up walking out because he hasn’t spoken to this “good friend” in ages (the person is just an acquaintance but he says they are all friends). Time and time again his actions say to me, “You are not as important as [insert group, person, activity].”

His typical routine is to go non-stop all day, get home, crash on the couch and fall asleep. If he isn’t on the couch asleep, he is almost always on the phone talking to someone. On the weekends he has a to-do list/plan. Sometimes he will come to me with his list/plan. He will start off by asking me, “What do you have planned for this weekend?” I say, “I don’t know. Nothing?” lol Very rarely do I have an actual plan! Yet, in 13 years of marriage he still asks me this question.

What typically happens, is his plans end up forcing me into the position of taking on whatever tasks he doesn’t want to or like to do – babysitting, housecleaning, buying groceries, weeding the lawn, mowing the lawn, meal prep, etc. So, if I decide on something I would like to do, say go on a solo hike, it must work around his plans. If call him out on this problem, he says his plans come first because he had a plan and shared it with me ahead of time. Besides, my plans usually involve me being alone in nature – but being alone – and to him, those kind of plans don’t count because they don’t involve other people. The only important plans are those that involve being with a group doing some kind of activity. My alone time is insignificant in comparison. My favorite thing to do? Be home without any plans. LOL

Most of our arguments are about him wanting me to come with him to do a group activity. Groups are most definitely bigger than just our family, but even if they are just our family I don’t often have interest. What ends up happening is he guilt trips me into going, I don’t act like I’m having fun (because I’m not), and he gets mad at me because I embarrass him by not making an effort to go along with the group. I despise idle chit-chat, so parties and gatherings can be almost painful for me. It takes a lot out of me to endure torture like that (and it IS torture). And you may ask, “Why don’t you just tell him? Sure he will understand.” Trust me, I’ve told him over and over. He doesn’t get it. He says to me, “Just change your mind.” I’ve tried. The only thing that ever works is if I find a nice corner somewhere far away from the group and wait to go home. Every so often someone will see me in the corner and talk to me, but not often, and that is okay by me. But if I resort to my corner tactics he gets upset with me, saying it is obvious to the rest of the group I don’t want to be there. Ugh! I can’t win.

Through the years, he has learned to just let me stay home, but he makes me wrong for it over and over again. This has grown into him venting about me to the people he says I “alienate” so that I am even more uncomfortable when I do decide to go to gatherings with him. I can literally feel their thoughts despite their pretense of pleasantries. If someone asks him, “Where’s Dayna” he might say, “Oh you know, Dayna. She doesn’t like people (meaning them).” WTF?

The thing is, deep down, I don’t care what anyone thinks about me. My husband can’t relate to my being this way. No matter how much I try to explain myself, he is unwilling to except me as I am and continues to try and force me into being who thinks I should be, which is like him (and 76% of the population).

What all these difference boil down to is energy type.

This quote from an article I read recently describes it perfectly:

A Generator naturally wants to spend most of its time expanding its energy and being engaged in satisfying activity. That’s their general natural state. There may be moments to pause to reflect and to just be still or whatever, but if you look at a Projector it’s going to be different.

The majority of the time, Projectors are more likely to enjoy being still, going deep into their awareness or deep into the relationship with the other. I often hear Projectors in relationship expressing that they just want their Generator partner to stop and be with them, sit still, and just be with them and see them. The important thing is that there is a depth of recognition and the other is with them in it. Source

I’m sure there are Generator/Projector relationships that work but it would mean both individuals recognize and respect the other for who they are without trying to force them to be something they are not. For my marriage, it has meant that we agree to disagree on most topics, that I opt to not join in on most group outings and social events, and we each do our own thing. Sure, we do things together, but over time those things are less and less. I let him be himself but he can’t seem to let me be myself. I take the blame for that because, when we met, I was still very much trying to be a Generator, pushing myself to my limits, doing what I thought I should do and not following my Strategy and Authority. So technically, I presented him with a lie, a version of me that was false, and now he is stuck having to accept a version of me he probably never would have married in the first place! What can I do but admit fault but that doesn’t mean I am going to go back to being that other version of myself to keep the peace.

Ideally, Projectors would be with Projectors and Generators would be with Generators. I’ve never been in a romantic relationship with another Projector, so I can’t say how that would turn out. Good? Bad? Who knows. I would think it would be hard to initiate initial interest because both Projectors would be waiting for an invitation from the other. However, all my good friends have been Projectors, so I know that with a Projector-Projector relationship things don’t work the same as with Generator-Projector relationships. I feel generally more at-ease with other Projectors. I don’t feel an urgency off of them that says to me, “I need this” or “want that”. Instead, there is a general acceptance of what is and it is easy to go deep and connect when both are so open to doing just that. It is an automatic one-on-one connection with both giving the other recognition and acknowledgment. I’ve also been told that a romantic Projector relationship can be quite focused, like an energy vortex, because they both have that focused, penetrating aura.

Sadly, I’ve also read that it is difficult for Projectors to resist the invitation/call from a Generating type whose sacral provides a never-ending source of energy to draw from. In a way, a relationship with a Generating type can become a trap for the Projector because when they withdraw from their energy source it can result in a kind of withdrawal period. I’ve read that Generator energy can be like a drug in that way, and I can totally relate to that. However, I find it no fun to be revved up to extremes only to crash down when the energy source is removed. It gets tiring and at the very least leaves me confused and wondering if something is wrong with me.

After a lifetime of being with Manifesting Generators as partners I think I’ve learned a thing or two. I’ve never felt more energetically balanced than during those periods in my life when I lived alone. That in itself says a lot!

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Dream Message: Rebel, Rebel

Two nights in a row where I’ve been aware of Kundalini energy but not enough to make me lucid or wake me. The night before last I recalled it only after I awoke and then it was gone as soon as I remembered it. All I remember now is a flash of a man and a Knowing that he was working with me. 

Last night I recalled a bit more.

Dream: Rebel, Rebel 

There are flashes of memory to start. I am walking through a field when I’m stopped by someone. The minute he stops me the field turns into a large indoor space with other people inside. There are flashes of greenery around, like potted plants of the tropical kind. It feels warm and welcoming and there is a sense that the space is healing. I feel like I’m on vacation.

Then I recall seeing my friend. She has gifts, her arms filled with various crystals and spiritual items. Two of these items are presented to me separately, resting in the palm of one of her hands. They look like acorns; small, brown, round and wooden. On these wooden pieces I can see words. I read them aloud but only recall the latter word because the first is unfamiliar to me. I read, “Rebel”. 

The scene shifts and I am with an older woman. She is complaining that her right shoulder hurts. I move closer, apologizing if I make her uncomfortable. She says I do not and closes her eyes as I place my hands on her shoulder and provide healing. The man from earlier walks up to me and asks, “What are you doing?” I told him that I can see what is wrong with her shoulder, the tissues surrounding the shoulder joint have been torn. I tell him I am giving her healing. 

There is slight memory of the man asking me if he can help me. I stop healing the old woman and walk away with him. I understand that he wants to give me a massage. At first I hesitate because something about him feels “weird”, but he explains it won’t take long and there is a sense that I should listen and do what he asks.

The actual massage is lost to me now, I just know that it feels amazing! I think the man stops the massage but I’m not sure. He is then talking to me. I think he asks me about my experience. I told him, “I would like more. It feels wonderful!” There is slight memory of the feeling which is reminiscent of the Kundalini. 

We talk more. I think there are others with us but can’t remember. I only recall that I am being told about something important. I remember repeating what I am told. I say, “Rebel. Rebel.” When I say this, I recall the two wooden objects my friend gave me earlier in the dream. I say, “I saw this before but there was this other word, too.” Of course, I don’t remember the word now.

The word, “Rebel”, woke me up and I lay feeling that it was a warning of something to come. Was I going to be rebellious? 

Dream Interpretation

The field setting is symbolic of a healing location. The acorn is symbolic of the “seeds of change” and the word “rebel” is symbolic of that change. The old woman is likely a version of myself: The Crone. I am giving her healing, thus healing myself. The old woman’s shoulder could be symbolic of “shouldering too much”; carrying burdens that need to be laid down and relieved. The massage provided is healing on my energy body.

I do not know the significance of the the word “rebel” really, I can only speculate. Perhaps my rebellious nature is the seed for new growth and potential? When someone rebels, they are inciting change, usually for the better (depending on perspective). The change is a catalyst for growth.

I do have a tendency to try and ignore those things which bother or upset me. I do so for so long, though, that eventually the pressure within me builds and I explode. Sometimes I act spontaneously in ways that could be seen by others as rebellious and illogical. When the storm passes, I am left wondering, “WTF did I do?” But it is too late and I have to then manage the aftermath. Thankfully, in these instances in my life, these seemingly drastic moves lead to beneficial life change.

Dream: Chinese Movie Theater

The next dream is odd. The main memory I have of it is being led into a movie theater with others. It was in China and when we got inside the theater is crowded and most of the seats taken. The faces of the people in the theater are all Chinese. My group of seven chooses to sit on chairs in the isles for some reason. I remember it being explained that no matter where you sat in the theater you had 360° vision. 

The “movie” we were watching is lost to me. Instead, a story plays out in my mind as if I am being explained something. What I remember is being on an airplane with Donald Trump, who is president again. He has people gathered around him listening to him and asking questions. He is talking about China.

The last thing I recall before waking is looking at the face of a Chinese man who is sitting in a seat in front of me. His head is between the seats peaking out at me and he is smiling. He says something about being able to see the front like the back and the back like the front, confirming he can see whatever he chooses. This wakes me.

I lay in bed thinking of the Trump scenario. The first thing that comes to mind is the border wall and the continued illegal migration problem. My mind wanders to scenarios that could play out. The nation divided by political party. The border being extended in south Texas into the Atlantic ocean. Increased border security authorized to shoot sandbags and teargas at migrants trying to storm the border. The US passing a law that prohibits illegal migrants from suing the US or its legal residents. 

My mind shoots to the virus scare and its spread. I am reminded of an article I just read about 95% of Texas deaths from the virus being impacted by certain comorbidities with the top ones being: High blood pressure, Diabetes, and heart disease. I think of how 65% (maybe more) of the US population is overweight (BMI of 30+) and realize it is easy for a nation of unhealthy people to fear a virus and even easier for them to put the responsibility of their survival on the rest of the population rather than take responsibility themselves. Easier to take pills or vaccines. Easier to continue their unhealthy lifestyles and blame others when they get sick or unwell (or die). I become furious at how lazy people can be. Their lives depend on them changing their unhealthy habits yet they persist, preferring to take a pill or shot. All along, the pharmaceutical companies and those that support them are happy to provide their consumers with what they want – the “easy way out” – because it means more money in their deep pockets.

Is it a warning? Does it has anything to do with the previous dream message “rebel”? IDK. I have to put it out of my head to stay sane. 

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Reminder: It Takes Time for the Energy to Align

As I was organizing my Rave ABC class notes, I found my foundation reading notes, so I read through them again. It’s always good to go back and review what I am drawn to because there is usually something I missed.

I missed this nugget: “Channel [1-8] gets usurped by relationships”.

The analyst who gave me my reading indicated that any relationship I’m in will have this effect upon me because the Other wants to “hold onto me” and they will “expect me to be the representative of the group”. This response to me is because there is “a frequency of Love and Light that emanates from me [when they’re] in my frequency”. This frequency is written into my first line earth, “Venus exalted as beauty, Love is Light, the grounding of my body”. My notes also have: “Genius design Sun-Earth: the natural, receptive genius”.

Specifically, the Channel 1-8 “draws a certain kind of attention”, those with this channel “feel we deserve [the attention]”, we are “captivating, interesting, different.” Those with this throat activation have “a compelling, undeniable, demanding voice, here to speak its truth.”

Since both myself and my husband have this channel, I can see where my bitterness comes from. I have often observed of him “attention-seeking” behavior. He seems to always want attention and will seek it however he can get it, positive or negative. Of course, he seeks attention from me the most, but in my bitterness (not being invited to share my unique voice), I withhold it from him. I, too, feel I deserve attention and over many years of not being truly seen (by him and everyone else), I’ve become extremely bitter. To be married to a MG with this channel has been tough because I observe him sharing uninvited all the time without the kind of backlash I get when I do the same. I always thought of this as the curse of being a Leo (my husband has a Leo moon), a hard lesson I have to learn. Now I understand that it is more about patience and waiting for the right invitation.

So I wonder to myself, “What do I do with this information?”

I am immediately reminded of something else I was told in the reading. At one point in my reading a discussion of my 6th line in mid-life came up. The analyst told me I’m “ringing myself out”. My notes say: “You know it’s over and everything will change but it takes time for the energy to align.” It’s this last statement that came to me after my above question to myself.

It takes time for the energy to align.

I am also reminded of my Life Cycle charts which show the three stages of my 6th line life experience. I have not yet entered into my Chiron Return state, the last stage where I become the Role Model. I am close, but not quite there yet. In the second stage of life my personal sun is in Gate 2, line 3, “patience”. When I research this I find that this Gate and line indicate that I have to listen to my HS (Authority) and bide my time before heading in a new direction. I cannot change my direction without its agreement, though my mind will try. If I follow what my mind says it will be no good and create delays, so my compass is the Magnetic Monopole of the G Center and only when it says “Go” do I take action. In the meantime, I provide vision and direction to others, providing them with a plan forward but I don’t do the work or make it happen. 

I am very acutely aware of this “patience” aspect in this cycle of my life. I feel like I get all kinds of ideas and motivations to change my life but cannot. I feel stuck in place. The answer I continue to get from my HS is, “It’s not time”. It is very frustrating but I have learned how intensely strong my inner compass is. I cannot act against it. There is a feeling within that just doesn’t allow me to act against it. 

The Definitive Book of Human Design says, I “look to Gate 14 for allies, for the power and resources to bring [my] vision to fruition.” pg. 177 My own husband does not have this gate so I am left hanging, waiting for it to come along in the right way. This is sacral energy, so either it will come from a Generator who has this entire channel or just the gate, or it will be another energy type that has a hanging Gate 14.

Overall, in my review of my gates I noticed that I have lots of hanging gates in the sacral and root area. This is promising because when connected with the right person things can really move forward. 

The analyst who did my reading pointed out that I am waiting for a very specific energy, something that “tastes” just right. She reminded me that only very specific individuals will find me “irresistible” while most will either not see me, be unaffected or reject me. If it is all about design, then whoever it is will fit perfectly with me design-wise, connecting the dots and manifesting channels (life force) that otherwise are not present for either of us.

But it all must come at the right time and not a moment before or after. Like a lightning strike.  

In the meantime, I guess I perfect my ability to wait, learning to be patient until I am recognized and invited. I am recognized by the Other when I am doing those things which bring me joy. So, while I wait, I need to focus on what brings me joy. This is, of course, a repeat of what I’ve been told many times by my guidance: “Enjoy this time”.

References:

Bunnell, Lynda and Ra Uru Hu. (2011). The definitive book of human design. Carlsbad, CA. HDC Publishing.

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Human Design: Circuit Groups Part 2

Back to circuit groups and the assignment we were given:

For class #5 we went over the individual channels and gates that make up each circuit type. 

Circuitry = how energy circulates through the channels of the body graph. 

It is called “circuitry” because when you look at a body graph it looks like a circuit board. Circuits are composed of channels and each channel is composed of two gates (except the Integration Channel which has 4 gates). The flow of energy through a channel is like a spark of life and so is referred to as “life force”. This life force is then relayed through our auras which is then received by others when they interact or come close to us.

There are 36 channels and 64 gates in the Rave BodyGraph. 

The assignment from this class was: Compare your circuitry to that of your family. Does it explain how you view things differently.

I decided to compare my circuitry with my husband’s. 

Our connection chart.

Individual Circuit – Empowerment

What we have in common: 

Gate 28: Part of the Struggle Circuit, Gate of the Game Player. We have this as both conscious and unconscious (Overpass). I can see how us both having this gates causes us to be stubborn and fight things (and each other).

Gates 1 and 8 (Channel of Inspiration) – We both have this as a partial overpass and both of with a conscious Gate 8 and an unconscious Gate 1. This is the design of a creative role model. We stand out from the crowd and inspire others with our individuality. Unfortunately, I find that sharing this channel often means I go unheard and unseen by others when around him. They see and recognized him first.

Gate 2: Gate of Direction of Self. His is conscious, mine is unconscious. A visionary providing a plan or overview for a new way forward. Always looking to others for allies, resources and power to achieve your vision. Of course, I don’t see this in myself and seeing him be this way annoys me. I do notice that when someone no longer aligns with me I have no problem parting ways with them. 

Gate 20: Contemplation, the Gate of Now. He has it conscious, I have it unconscious. Fully present in the Now, providing a living example to others via your intuitive knowing, personal survival and mutative behaviors. No consideration taken to what bubbles up out of you in what you say and do. This could be my tendency to blurt but I see it best in me when I channel. I say something profound but then can’t recall what I said. I see it in my husband as a child-like wonder and awe. 

Gate 24: The Return, Gate of Rationalization.  My husband has this as a road, I have this as an overpass. Mulls over something over and over again, looking to inspire others with it but without Gate 61 cannot do this. There is knowing and then not-knowing. Gate 24 fears ignorance and never knowing for certain or not being able to explain the knowing. Always looking for the next mystery to solve. I can see this in myself but especially in my husband who seems to fixate on some things. It is just annoying but I can see how I fixate, also.

What my husband has:

Gate 55: Abundance, the Gate of Spirit. Unconscious. Susceptible to melancholy and moodiness. Constantly moving through a cycle of hope to pain. I see this very obviously in my husband but he doesn’t since it is unconscious. Since I am prone to melancholy via my 1-8 (my only consistent life force), it is not something I resist. I find that when he is melancholic I shift to hopeful and vice versa. When he is moody he can be intolerable, though. 

Gate 10/Gate 34: Channel of Exploration. He has this channel as an overpass. Gate 10 is a tunnel, Gate 34 is a road. A design of needing to be first, of following one’s convictions, leading us to love, accept and honor ourselves. I certainly see this in him and sometimes we butt heads because of it. He can be rigid and self-centered.

I have no Individual gates or channels that my husband doesn’t have. 

pg. 159 The Definitive Book of Human Design

Collective Circuit – Sharing 

What we have in common:

Gate 5: Waiting the Gate of Fixed Patterns. My husband has an overpass, I have a tunnel. We stay true to our own fixed patterns and rhythm. We like routine and don’t like to deviate from that routine. I know that I like routine but this gate is unconscious in my body graph but maybe this has been learned over time from trial and error. Since both myself and my husband have this, we tend to have similar routines and leave the other alone about being so fixed.

Gate 31: The Gate of Influence. We both have this “road”. Shows others a view for a new direction via designated leadership roles (the lines). My husband is a 31.3, Anarchist. I’m a 31.6, Authoritarian. It is only when I look at the associated line that I laugh and better understand our differences! I say “follow the rules” and he says, “Why? Do NOT follow the rules, do what you want!” We have major upsets in child rearing in regards to this among other things.

Gate 18: Work on what has been spoilt, the Gate of Correction. He has a road, I have a tunnel. We focus on what isn’t working and ways to correct it. This is someone who tends to complain and find fault in things and people. I am only aware I do this because I’ve been told to stop complaining all my life. My husband does it consciously. We often complain about each other, always seeing what is wrong instead of what is right.

Gate 48: The Well, Gate of Depth. I have a road, he has a tunnel. A desire to share and express our depth in order to help make the world better. We fear being inadequate and doubt our ability to express our depth. We can be over focused on developing skills we think we lack. I have many certifications and lots of education that I don’t use! My husband doesn’t but I do see in him a fear of inadequacy. 

Gate 56: The Wanderer, Gate of Stimulation. He has an overpass, I have a tunnel. The historian, philosopher and story teller who is always looking for new ideas. This is what was attractive to me to my husband. He loves to philosophize! I have a degree in history though I would never have told anyone I liked studying it, it just happened. 

What my husband has:

Gate 41: Decrease, Gate of Contraction. He has a tunnel. Seeking new experiences and feelings. Enjoys writing and daydreaming about what they wish to experience. Without Gate 30 there is a sense of wanting but not knowing what you want. My husband is very much this way; a daydreamer, writer and artist.

What I have:

Gate 29: The Abysmal, The Gate of Perseverance. I have a road here. This gives me this ability to persevere through whatever life brings. Always eager to say yes and commit my energy but without Gate 46 I won’t know what I am working towards. I do have the ability to stick to what I start no matter what it is. I am a finisher and I do often wonder why I persevere at times and feel like it is pointless.

Gate 9: The taming of the power of the small, Gate of Focus. I have a road. Diligence to detail and ability to focus one’s energy. Without Gate 52 I will struggle to sit still long enough to concentrate which may cause frustration. I am aware that I fidget and can’t sit still for long, especially as a student or in situations where long-term stillness and/or focus is needed. I usually multi-task to compensate.

Gate 47: Oppression, The Gate of Realization. I have a road. I remember random details and attempt to put them together to make sense of them. Pressure to see the full picture. My mind is full of random stuff all the time and I’ve just gotten use to it. I tend to get stuck in the endless cycle of finding an answer only to reveal another question and the paradoxical. I have learned to laugh at it and enjoy it.

Where we meet:

Gate 17 (him, road)/Gate 62 (me, tunnel): Channel of Acceptance, The design of an Organized Being. 17 is Structuring and 62 is details. Together we can make sense of information and are good at business, projects, events and organization. We own a business together. 🙂

Gate 42 (him, tunnel)/Gate 53 (me, tunnel): Channel of Maturation, The design of Balanced Development. He has the gate of growth and I have the gate of beginnings. Together we can move forward with understanding of the past and take something new through to a successful end. Without him, I may feel I have to finish everything I begin. Without me he will feel frustrated trying to start something that never gets going. 

Tribal Circuit – Support

What we have in common:

Gate 19: Approach, Gate of Wanting. He has a tunnel, I have a road. He has 19.3 (dedication) and I have 19.6 (recluse). We bring awareness to others about what resources are needed via enticement or bargaining. Without Gate 49 there is over sensitivity and needing to feel needed plus wondering when our own needs will be met. 

Gate 59: Dispersion, Gate of Sexuality. He has a tunnel, I have a road. How we penetrate and break through barriers to intimacy. The line determines how we approach bonding. I’m 59.3 (openness) and he is 59.5 (femme fatale/Casanova). The lines help me understand our dynamics better. Our differences have made me retreat because he is so unpredictable. 

Gate 44: Coming to Meet, Gate of Alertness. He has a road, I have an overpass. Prone to over-committing and making promises we can’t keep. We fear the baggage of the past. I don’t see this about myself but then I am partly unconscious in this gate. I use to commit too much to things but have since stopped. My husband has a button on certain past issues (baggage) and says “yes” too much to requests of his time and energy IMO.

What my husband has:

Gate 45: Gate of the Gatherer. He has it as a tunnel. The ability to gather people in order to contribute to the Tribe. Seeks to protect the Tribe’s resources. Has a tendency to be possessive. I definitely see this in him!

What I have:

Gate 27: Nourishment, Gate of Caring. I have a tunnel. Altruism, caring for the weak, sick, young, old, etc. Without Gate 50 I tend towards sacrificing my own well-being for others because of my poor boundaries. Though I don’t see this about myself, I asked my husband if I was altruistic and he said “definitely”. I do find myself crying when I watch videos or movies that involve suffering of the weak or innocent, like animals, children and old people. 

My Reaction

First, I was surprised at how much Collective circuitry we both have. Gate 9 made me laugh (not being able to sit still and focus for long). Similarly, I was shocked at all the Tribal gates we both have. So much “stickiness” I didn’t realize I had. Gate 27 really surprised me! But, overall, the Collective Circuitry wins out as the highest number of gates and channels individually and between us. I can see now why it feels like all my husband does is talk (share), and I suppose I must, also, considering my own Collective tendencies.

By the time I finished this assignment it was even clearer to me that our biggest obstacle is how similar we are! The next biggest issue would be our “collective” stubbornness (Gate 28) along with him having more channels (life force) than I do while also sharing the Channel of Inspiration with me. He has a tendency to want attention (be first) and so I have to accept being second to him so my life force can feel snuffed out when we are together.

References:

Bunnell, Lynda and Ra Uru Hu. (2011). The definitive book of human design. Carlsbad, CA. HDC Publishing.

Blanding, Theresa. (2011). Rave abc’s Student manual. Santa Fe, NM. Human Design America.

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Human Design: Black Roads, Red Tunnels

I want to go over the red and black lines on the body graph because I forgot to do so before jumping into circuitry (sorry!). This was covered in class #2 of Rave ABC’s.

Background

When the Big Bang occurred about 14 billion years ago and formed our universe, everything in our universe was compressed into an object smaller than one atom in size. It ignited and all the material began to expand to form the universe. The universe expanded into two parts: yin and yang. Physicists call yin material “quarks”, divided into two groups: protons and neutrons.  Yang, or “pure energy”, is broken up into electrons and neutrinos. As you probably know, the electron and proton form the atom. Neutrinos, on the other hand, you are probably less familiar with. Neutrinos were first named “dark matter” and known to be pure energy but only recently was it discovered they do have mass and travel slower than the speed of light, so not pure energy.

Most of the neutrinos are produced in stars but planets (Juptier produces 3%) and even we humans produce a small amount. It is estimated that 3 trillion neutrinos pass through every square inch of Earth all the time. These neutrinos carry information/knowledge with them and this “information feed” is passing through us all the time.

The way the planets affect us is through the neutrino stream. Those planets that intercept the neutrino stream at the time of our birth imprint those neutrinos that pass through it with information. Each planet changes the neutrino stream a little and in turn imprints that material on us. 

What are Crystals of Consciousness

At the beginning there was a yin egg (called the cosmic egg) and a yang “seed”. Both of these contained “crystals”. During the Big Bang the yin egg and yang seed crashed into each other and the crystals within them shattered into pieces and spread into the universe. As a result, every living organism is endowed with these crystals of consciousness. 

Humans have two crystals of consciousness, one from the yin and the other from the yang. From the yang we have the Personality Crystal and the Design Crystal. The Personality Crystal sits right above the head and the Design Crystal is located in the Ajna (third eye). The Personality Crystal = Who you think you are. The Design Crystal = Genetic Materia/the physical body. 

The “crystal” analogy comes into play here in that physical crystals have facets unique to only that crystal. It is the same in Human Design. Each of us is “cut” in a unique way. Similarly, if you pass light through one crystal and then another, the light on the other side will be different, as are we all. 

There is another part that sits in the G Center (Identity center middle of chest), which is called the Magnetic Monopole. It is only one pole but has two functions: Hold us together in the illusion of separateness and pull us forward through space and time via our unique path or destiny. Human Design calls this “geometry”. 

The Black and Red

If you look at the body graph you will see lines and numbers in the colors red and black. In Human Design, the black lines are part of the Personality Crystal which is determined by the exact time and location of birth. The red lines are part of the Design Crystal and are determined by going back 88/89 days prior to the date of birth. This is approximately the beginning of the last trimester of pregnancy. It is at this time that the neocortex is established and the soul enters the physical body.

The black lines are conscious aspects of one’s personality, or what one knows and is aware of about themselves (Personality Crystal). The red lines are that of which the individual is unaware; subconscious (Design Crystal, genetic).

The Personality Crystal is referred to as “the mind” and the Design Crystal as “the body” on the body graph (see above).

To recap, the Personality Crystal is located just above the Head center (crown). The Design Crystal is located in the Ajna Center (third eye). The two are held together in the illusion of separateness by the Magnetic Monopole, which is located in the G Center (Heart). I like to think of the Magnetic Monopole as the Higher Self, since that is more real to me.

The analogy of the limousine is used in HD. The Design Crystal is the limousine itself – its color, shape, number of seats, etc. In other words, the “body” or genetic material. The Personality Crystal sits in the back as the passenger (the mind), looking out the window of the car (body), enjoying the ride. The Magnetic Monopole is known as the “Driver” in Human Design because it is the only part of us that actually knows where we are going! We (the passenger) are suppose to sit back and enjoy the ride, but we incorrectly think we are the car and the driver.

We are unaware of the red aspects of our design to the point that we have to be told by others that it exists. We are completely blind to it. We may even outright reject this unconscious part. We are helpless in coming to terms with the two sides of ourselves (conscious/unconscious) because we cannot see the unconscious part except through others. The feeling of it is that something is missing that we just can’t quite put our finger on. It requires that we accept what we cannot identify with, watch/observe it, react to it and recognize that we are here for the ride (a passenger). This latter part is known as “the experiment” in HD, because that is what it is.

The Personality and Design Crystals are in a kind of “forced marriage”, held together by the Magnetic Monopole. This internal conflict is externalized in life.

Roads, Tunnels, and Overpasses

A good way to remember the black and red, conscious/unconscious, is the analogy of roads and tunnels. Black roads can be seen and identified with. Red tunnels are under ground where they cannot be seen, but they are there nonetheless. We can’t see while inside them, don’t know the direction we are traveling or when we will come out or even how that will look.

Overpasses are where both black and red are on the same road. I have this on my chart (reference chart above). See if you can find them. They are located at Gate 44, 24 and 28.

There are also partial overpasses. This is when half the channel is red and the other half is black. I have this at my 1-8 channel of Inspiration noted on the above image. So, I am aware of half of this channel. I am aware of Gate 8, while unaware of Gate 1.

Split Chart

A really helpful exercise is to split your body graph in two, one conscious and the other unconscious. This is my split view from Genetic Matrix. You can see that when separated into conscious and unconscious aspects my type changes from Projector to Reflector in both. So, I identify with and am aware of myself as a Reflector which is true for me, I do identify more as a Reflector than a Projector.

To compare, here is my mother’s split view. She has a ton of definition compared to me but you can see by her Personality view that she would identify as a Pure Generator, not a Manifesting Generator, and her authority would no longer be emotional. So she would probably not think of herself as emotional at all, yet everyone in our family would say she is emotional (and willful). If you look at her Design view, you can see a defined Heart, which better explains her willful tendencies. lol

References:

Bunnell, Lynda and Ra Uru Hu. (2011). The definitive book of human design. Carlsbad, CA. HDC Publishing.

Blanding, Theresa. (2011). Rave abc’s Student manual. Santa Fe, NM. Human Design America.

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Human Design: Circuit Groups Part 1

I’m more than half-way through the Rave ABC course now and finding much of it repetitive, but this is only because I’ve done so much self-study. 🙂 The topic of the last two weeks has been circuit groups. I’m going to present my notes and findings here in two parts, not only for myself but for those doing their own HD study. 😉 Part 1 is the data, part 2 will be my application of the data to my charts and my husband’s chart (the fun part IMO).

Circuitry = How we connect and interact with others in life. A circuit is composed of channels (the lines connecting the numbers (gates) in the above example). There are a total of 36 channels.

There are three circuit groups in HD : Individual, Collective, and Tribal. 

Individual Circuitry – The middle track of the bodygraph. It has the most gates and channels of all the groups plus encompasses the four awareness centers and all the motors. 

Keywords: Empowerment, Individuality.
Format: Pulse, mutation
Time: Now
Sense: Auditory (hearing)
Emotional Wave: Spike up/down 

Collective Circuitry – The outside track on the bodygraph. It is only about sharing, nothing else. There is no reliability here. No promises kept.

Keywords: Sharing, make sense of the past, Project to the future.
Format: Cyclic and focused
Time: Past/Future
Sense: Visual
Emotional Wave – Crash wave; rise/fall

Tribal Circuitry – The inside track on the bodygraph. About gathering resources, supporting life/survival, the “team”, games, bargaining, give and take. The Tribal Circuit is “sticky”, meaning it can’t help but stick to others like glue.

Keywords: Support
Format: None 
Time: None (timeless)
Sense: Tactile (touch and smell)
Emotional Wave: Ratchet wave 

Integration Channel

It is the one channel that is different than all the other channels in that it operates through four gates instead of two. People with this channel are the most self-absorbed, selfish/self-interested. This channel has the ability of the body’s immune system to guide us to safety in the Now (Splenic Center driven). This channel is NOT mutative. It only has mutative qualities when connected to the 28 and/or 38th gate or both.

Keywords: Safety in the Now, Lone Wolf

Note: The gates of the channels in the above centers and circuitry will impact a person if present in their body graph in that they create consistency in how the person navigates through life. Those gates/channels not present will be where conditioning is present and where the mind tends to focus (the mind always focuses on what we are not).

The assignment from class #4 was to create a chart of all the white spaces in our body graph in order to see all the not-self possibilities that exist for us. This is my result (sorry the scan is crooked and I’m too lazy to rescan):

My reaction to seeing how much conditioning is possible in my design was that it was expected. I already feel like I am more like a Reflector than a Projector because I only have one channel (1-8) and it is half conscious and half unconscious (black/red respectively). This means that when my chart is split into unconscious and conscious sections I am a Reflector in both charts. Seeing all the white spaces colored in was somewhat depressing. I think I cried, actually. I can’t believe I did this to myself in this life!

Featured Image: Shadow Chart from Genetic Matrix. Highlights my undefined centers.

References:

Bunnell, Lynda and Ra Uru Hu. (2011). The definitive book of human design. Carlsbad, CA. HDC Publishing.

Blanding, Theresa. (2011). Rave abc’s Student manual. Santa Fe, NM. Human Design America.

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Kundalini Dream: Tattooed Man

Busy night of dreamwork.

Kundalini Dream

I met up with a man at his home in California, a home he shared with some others. We were in his bedroom most of the time. I felt very close to this man but didn’t seem to know him well. The backstory was that everything had happened very fast, like we were both got caught up in the energy of our connection. 

What I most recall is how I felt when around him. There was the obvious sexual connection but there was also something else, a subtle sensuality and desire just to be close to him. When we moved closer together, I no longer felt separate from him. It was a very comforting and safe feeling, and as a result I had little resistance. 

Though I can’t recall his face, I do remember aspects of him. For example, he had this tattoo covering his upper back and shoulders. It looked like waves or fish scales outlined in black with red, blue and white coloring. I remember tracing it with my fingers and thinking it beautiful. I also remember noticing he had in an ear piece like he was hard of hearing. When he stood up bare chested, I could see he was very thin, carrying hardly any fat on his body. He wore blue jeans with a black belt and had his hands on his hips and a big grin on his face. I believe his hair was black or dark brown. It was messy and there was a lot of it.

When we embraced I was overcome with all sorts of feelings and emotions. I do believe we kissed, but there is little memory of the specifics of our embrace except the overwhelming feelings. I was so overcome that I blurted out that I loved him. This is uncharacteristic of me but I couldn’t help myself and neither could he. At one point I pulled away and said to him, “I can’t. It’s just too intense.” He was understanding and gave me my space. 

We sat on the bed and talked some about where our relationship was going. The overwhelming feelings I had stirred within me a strong desire to have a child with this man. I mentioned this to him and he was pleased. My mind freaked out, though, as I did the math and saw how old I would be when the child grew up. I said to him that it was not a good idea because I would be close to 70yrs old when the child was grown. Yet the desire to create new life was exponentially strong and I decided I didn’t care how old I would be.

This is when I noticed there was a massive window on the side of the room that overlooked a rectangular hot tub occupied by some young people. A little girl was trying to spy on us but the window was frosted with only a tiny edge around the window to see through. I pointed her out to the man and laughed at the sight of her saying, “She’s trying to see us but she can’t.” 

At one point we went outside of the house to gather my things from the car. This is when I finally saw the house from the outside. It looked like a nice, newer suburban home with terra cotta tiles on the roof. I remember my dog was with me and I scooped him up in my arms to take inside. The man had already gone in and so I followed but worried because I couldn’t remember where his bedroom was in the house. 

Inside I encountered his roommates. Still holding my dog, I introduced myself and a woman, who was standing in the kitchen, welcomed me. I asked if it was okay if I let my dog inside, stating that he was house trained. She said it was no problem, so I set him down. Another smaller dog barked from a nearby bedroom. I looked inside and saw a child sitting on a bed watching TV. Then a larger dog came in to sniff mine. My dog growled and hid between my legs. 

I don’t recall what happened next because my mind was a whirl of thought and considerations about the place I was and how I had gotten there. I remember thinking that the man was far too old for me and memory of what could only be a hearing aid came to mind. This caused me to wonder, “Am I old, too?” I was concerned about my lack of logic in decision making. I would never up and leave my life and move far away for a man, would I? What is wrong with me?! I was certain that, over time, the feelings I had for the man would die out. I saw that pattern in all my relationships and felt no matter what I did the connection would not last and eventually I would find myself stuck, miserable and eventually hurting him.

There was also this entire scenario that played out in a visual of this man with a woman I did not know. She was older, blonde (or gray) shoulder length hair, with wide hips that held a bit too much weight. She was very critical of the man, pointing out his faults, specifically the tattoo on his back. He, on the other hand, looked at her stretch marks and discolored skin, tracing his fingers over them lovingly and referring to them as “her map”. Watching the two interact, I immediately felt like I was similar to this woman, definitely not worthy of his love.

I was beside myself with self-destructive thoughts, specifically that I ruin relationships with my tendency to pick out all the bad and unattractive things about my partners. I turn beautiful things into rubbish.

While having these thoughts I still had all the intensely real feelings and emotions for the man. It was a gut wrenching, internal tug-o-war that woke me from the dream. 

In-Between Discussion

While the tug-o-war raged within me I was talking to a guide. I recognized that I was being shown two things. First, my overwhelm at the intensity of feelings rushing through me and the desire to surrender completely to them. Second, my mental rationalization of what I was feeling and how it sabotaged that surrender. There is a sense that feelings like that are destructive and will only lead to pain but at the same time all I want is to be overwhelmed and remain in a state of complete surrender forever. The latter part is so alien to me that I panic, well my mind does, and it becomes frantic because it cannot control what cannot be understood. My human side is in a panic, resisting that which is unknown because it is scary and unpredictable.

Yet, in the dream, my partner was totally understanding and accepting of my need for time. He gave me space and we talked about the potential of our partnership, which, oddly enough, was to create new life. I think, though, that it was more about beginnings that babies. That is how it felt in the dream. It was ripe with potential and possibility. The feeling was very attractive to me. So was the sense that I would not be alone in this new life. I would be safe, loved and cherished and no longer have to hide behind walls of protection.

My guide was asking me to look and decide what I wanted from this dream scenario. I, of course, was still caught up in the feeling and so kept saying that is what I wanted – to feel like that, to feel safe like that.

Dream #2

It took me a while to return to sleep. When I did, I found myself in a small gym. A song was playing through my mind, one I haven’t heard in a long while. I was putting weight plates on a small barbell after hearing someone (me?) say that it was okay to lift a little more weight. The voice suggested 45lbs. I was putting the weights on, one 10lb plate, then another, when I saw a small baby in diapers crawl over to a dumbbell on the floor, attempt to pick it up and smash their nose. Concerned, I went to check and the baby was okay. I offered her a 2.5lb weight telling her, “Try this instead.” She happily picked it up and smiled.

The song chorus was playing through my head very loudly as if someone turned up the volume. I could see my husband in my peripheral vision as I sat down on the weight bench to begin my workout. He tried to grab the barbell but I wouldn’t let him. He seemed to be there and then vanish only to flicker back into my visual field occasionally. 

The song chorus played on repeat: “This could be the end of everything, so why don’t we go somewhere only we know….”

I woke up and knew the dream indicated I had “work” (lifting weight) to do. 

Considerations

Symbolically, California means that I am carefully exploring my subconscious because I am nervous or apprehensive about something. The bedroom represents a private, safe space. The man inside is likely a guide and representation of the masculine. The tattoo of the scales is symbolic of the Kundalini. The hearing aid could be that this masculine energy was attempting to hear me better. The desire to create new life was an attraction to new beginnings; starting over; possibilities. The girl trying to see inside may represent my inner child or lower self who is not fully able to see what is happening. Her vision is obscured. The shift to me carrying my dog inside is likely indicating that I am wanting protection and to be more rational/logical. The vision of the older woman might be symbolic of who I do not want to be or fear I will become.

The weight room dream is very likely about doing “the work” to resolve and come to terms with the issues brought forth in the previous dream. The baby in the dream is again potential for new life/beginnings. The baby is also carrying weight, though much less.