I’ve been struggling again with an all too familiar feeling. It is an emptiness, a feeling of nothingness and numbness towards life. Ahead all I see is black. I move through these periods as if swimming in muck. It is slow going. Heavy.

I Know it is just a part of my cycle and, maybe also, the world’s. I’ve asked for assistance and received little snippets here and there in dreamtime. One was to focus on the positive despite all the negative distractions around me. I habitually fall into pessimism so struggle to see the positive. It is always, “I see [enter something positive] BUT [enter long list of negatives]”.

Another was a reminder to focus on doing things I enjoy, which has become quite difficult because one of the main things I do is exercise. The sciatica I’ve been struggling with since August persists and rears its ugly head right around bedtime. Thankfully, it has decreased significantly in the past few weeks, to the point that some days/nights I do not even notice it despite there still being niggles of nerve pain here and there (mostly left, upper thigh). Exercise gives me such relief, helping to shut down my monkey mind and relieve built up energy I’ve collected from my Generator family members. I’ve not stopped exercising but have decreased it substantially. When I did try to increase intensity I was reminded very harshly by my body that it was not OK. A sharp pain in my lower back/sacrum put me in my place fast. 😦

Last night’s message, however, was the most revealing of them all.

Dream Reminder: Master(y)

My dream recall begins in my old bedroom at my childhood home. I was sitting in front of the computer. On the screen appeared one of my Light Code Oracle cards. When I saw it a thought entered my mind: “Master”. With the visual of the card came a recording of me speaking in Light Language. I listened but couldn’t hear a large part of it. So, I decided I would record a new version.

The new recording was in song, a beautiful and powerful Light Language song that filled me with Light energy. The more I sang, the more energy there was, and I was inspired to sing more and more, filling my entire energy body with Light. It was miraculous!

It was at this time that I began to hear noises from outside my room. I stopped singing to investigate and saw my son in front of the TV. I asked him to turn down the volume, which he did. I returned to the room and began singing only to be interrupted again, this time by my sister’s radio. Angry, I went to her room but she wasn’t there. I yelled in frustration that all I wanted was quiet. I yanked the radio plug out of the wall. Silence.

Interpretation

The location of the dream is significant, symbolizing the past and an ever-present influence it has upon the present. My son’s loud TV and his willingness to turn it down represents my children and the responsibilities I have towards them and my immediate family. I feel less irritated by these things and am able to balance them with my own personal needs and desires. However, the family drama brought about by my sister, symbolized by her ridiculously loud radio, that causes me to react with anger and frustration. Unlike my son, I am unable to control her and the circumstances that surround her and her life choices.

In general, I reject the noises around me (the mundane), preferring to immerse myself in my Light Language song.

Considerations

As soon as I woke this morning, I looked up the card: Mastery. The image in the dream didn’t match the card image but that doesn’t matter. What matters is the message.

I read the old post I’d written in 2017 after painting the symbol. The part that stood out to me the most was this:

The temptation to indulge in bitter despair may be a real hazard. Remember, from the metaphysician’s viewpoint, despair and inspiration are often considered to be a step apart. Discipline and vision are essential key words toward the overcoming of your problems.

Due to this merging of spiritual and mundane, being and doing, this card may experience a conflict between the two as they attempt to achieve balance in their life.

Probably the most challenging part of this life has been to find balance between the mundane and the spiritual. I seem always to be more involved in one more than the other. I prefer, of course, to be more involved in the spiritual. However, it is at times like these, when the mundane seems forced upon me, that I am the most prone to periods of “bitter” despair.

So the message is not one I like to hear but it is a good reminder, one I am grateful to have received. It was especially wonderful to remember just how powerful Light Language can be and how it was once an inspirational and powerful part of my life experience.