Woke in tears just before 5am. Prior to sleep I prayed for guidance on certain things. I’m not sure this dream did that but it definitely shed some light on why I have been feeling so angry.

Healing Dream Visit

I woke up at my Mom’s house and immediately began tidying up. I knew that my heart connection was there. He had stayed the night. The feeling I had was akin to holding my breath. There was a lot of emotion and I was working hard to hold it all back.

I was in her room making her bed when he first approached me. He asked me what I was doing and I told him I was “cleaning up”. He came up to me and we hugged. Being close to him was marvelous but also bittersweet. Our Divine connection, the love, the magnetism – all of it – came back all at once. 

We talked some but I don’t remember what we talked about now. I believe he told me he was also cleaning up and that it had to do with his own mother. 

Most of my memory revolves around us kissing passionately and embracing. We did this for a while and I wanted desperately for him to stay, but I knew he was going to leave. This Knowing was the bittersweet part. Knowing we couldn’t be together, that we had different paths to take and the moment would pass leaving me decimated all over again. I cried slow, sorrowful tears as we lingered there together. 

This lasted quite a while and I know there were other parts of the dream I can’t recall going on behind the scenes. Discussion was the main part but I have flashes of other memories. In one, he was watching a movie. The scene playing was of a man disrespecting a woman. My response was to comment on how unfair it was that men were misrepresented like that.

When it was time for him to leave I watched him go. I could hear him sobbing and I called out to him. When he turned around, tears streaming down his face, he was no longer him but an unfamiliar woman. I had no idea who this woman was but I said to her, “I know how you feel because I feel it, too.”  

After

I awoke in shock. The emotion and connection from the dream still with me. I was laying on my back and if I moved even the slightest tears would come rolling out of my eyes. I wasn’t actively crying but the tears were there, welling up and continuing to overflow as if a part of me had been saving them up for just this moment. 

The anger at the unfairness of life was apparent. I was angry that such a love existed – still out there – but I couldn’t enjoy it. It had been tainted by our humanity, corrupted by conditioning and false beliefs. And it was clear karma played a part, too, keeping us focused on whatever plans were set in motion when we entered these physical bodies. 

I can’t help but feel as if I am being punished. I know that isn’t how it works, but it feels that way anyway. The woman at the end of the dream feels to be a version of me that I was acknowledging. I was empathizing with her, telling her I could feel what she felt and shared her grief. Perhaps it is a positive, indicating that I am finally accepting some part or all of the lesson? 

Regardless, it is clear I am still healing. I’ve been reminded of this frequently but the memories of the healing are so infrequent that I forget.