It’s been a while since I posted and I apologize. Lots has been going on (I’ll write on that later) and my dry eyes are still making it difficult. I just can’t stay in front of a screen long enough to complete a post. I’ve also not had much to really write about; my inspiration has all but dried up.

This morning I did have an interesting lucid dream I will share. Enjoy!

Lucid Dream: City of Riza

I was in a gym preparing for my workout. I began to warmup with a light weight – one dumbbell. As I did so, I would occasionally look in a mirror. I noticed my thighs were quite big. I ignored it and continued to warm up. I believe I was talking to myself or maybe my guide throughout because I would become distracted and stop, zoning out, and then get back to my warmup. I believe we were discussing current life events, but I don’t really remember.

Eventually, I was doing some goblet squats with a tiny weight when I noticed a very obese woman on her phone sitting on a bench next to me. I stayed in the lowered position of the squat and looked over at her. She glanced my way. I lingered, sitting in this position for a while. Turning towards the mirror I noticed my butt and thighs were even bigger than the last time I looked. In fact, I was extremely obese, just like the woman sitting nearby. I stared at my thighs for a bit, noticing the pale skin and deep dimples of fat. Rather than be grossed out, I shrugged my shoulders, deciding I didn’t care. I turned to the woman and said, “I don’t think I feel like working out today.” I put down the weight and headed towards the exit, only I didn’t know where it was. I wandered toward a glass door that led outside. I walked through it into a parking area. I looked left. No car. I looked right. No car. Did I even drive here? Still confused, I turned and went back inside. 

Once inside and still talking to my guidance, I had the idea that I was dreaming. I decided to test my theory by taking something (stealing) and walking out the front door. So, I grabbed a box of cigarettes and casually walked out the door telling the attendants, “I forgot something” to explain why I had come in and was going right back out. The attendant nodded and didn’t notice I had the cigarettes. 

Again outside in the parking lot, I knew for certain I was dreaming. I thought about taking control of the dream. Maybe flying or changing the scene? I got a reply not to and accepted it. It seemed like I was meant to look around and take in my surroundings. So, that is what I did. The parking lot was small with few cars and the building I came out of seemed to be in a strip mall. The sky was gray and overcast. There were buildings in the distance. The minute I decided to investigate the buildings in the distance, I was there among them.

The city streets were narrow and tall, brick buildings were on all sides. I noticed vendors on the streets. It was no city I recognized. Where was I? I decided to ask a vendor and approached two young girls standing next to one of the stands. I said, “Hello.” One looked up and said, “Hi.” I asked, “Can you tell me where I am?” She gave me a quizzical look. So I asked, “What city am I in?” She said, “Oh. Riza.” Her friend came closer holding out a small object like a phone and her attention went to the object. I interrupted and said, “Thanks. What state…er province….um…is that in?” I didn’t know if where I was had states or provinces but wanted a better idea of the location. The girl thought a bit and said, “Well, Ga Ga Ga comes here sometimes.” I immediately thought of Lady Ga Ga but tossed the thought. The girls handed me the object to show me this Ga Ga Ga. It was a cell phone type object with a large screen. On it were images of a cartoon like character with blonde hair and large breasts. They swiped through several images, some cartoons, some not, completely immersed in this person. Not impressed, I clarified and they said, “Well sometimes it’s called Risha.” This didn’t help answer my question. Still not sure what they were communicating, I kept asking. They told me that also sometimes GM came. 

This is when I gave up. Their answers were total nonsense and probably the result of the nonsense in my mind! 

Briefly I “woke up” but I actually didn’t. It just seemed like I did. Instead, I remained in the dream but shifted to my bed where I tried to recall the entire lucid dream so that I wouldn’t forget it. Then I returned to “sleep” and entered a non-lucid dream in my old bedroom at my childhood home. 

Considerations

This lucid experience is similar to others I’ve had recently. I know I’m dreaming but I don’t take control of the dream when I would really prefer to go off flying or changing the scene. Instead, I let the dream continue while being lucid. When I asked my guidance about this, I was told that I need practice being where I am. 

The dream symbolism in the gym shows me some things about myself, things I am mostly already aware of. I am distracted, my mind not on the actual process of warming up. In life, I find my mind wanders frequently and I lose track of what I am doing in the moment or completely forget my intention. This also happens when I try to go to sleep. My mind is all over the place! My guidance suggested I count backwards from 100. I fail miserably at it! I end up forgetting what number I am on, usually before I get into the 80s, and have to start over again! 

Me looking at my large butt and thighs in the dream is highlighting how much I focus on my appearance. Thankfully, in the dream I recognize it isn’t important, indicating I might be making some progress here.

And finally, the zoning out and preferring to sleep (the second dream was a sleepy one). I prefer to not be fully present in life. I want to sleep through it, go into oblivion, etc. At least this is what I believe the sleepiness in my dreams symbolizes. I am avoiding.