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Not on the “Volunteer List”

My heart palpitations have not gone completely. They are much improved now that I don’t drink caffeine, but they’re not gone. The other night I had a mild panic attack because of them. My skin is still itchy, though less so than it was. I am also still more tired in the evenings than usual, sleeping so deep that sometimes I wake up panicked. I also have evidence now of the heart rate abnormalities. I track my sleep and my heart rate spiked to 145bpm one night not long ago. I don’t remember it, but it happened.

I’ve decided not to visit a doctor about it. Why? Because, if this is what my mom has, they will prescribe me a medication that will need to be taken for the rest of my life. I don’t want to do that. I would rather just tolerate the palpitations. There is a surgery that can be done, but I’m not interested in that, either. Palpitations lead to an increased risk of stroke and heart attack. Bring it on! I’ve already been here longer than I would like and I am especially miserable now. 

There is little that remains of my spiritual experiences these days. Everything is mundane and boring. I’m back to the beginning, back to when life wasn’t magical. Back when there were no adventures into the unknown world of Spirit. The difference is now I know the magic and adventure exists but I cannot access it. 

I’ve decided if this is how the rest of my life will be, I want no part in it. If I can’t at least escape this world in the night via my dream explorations, if I am denied access to Spirit and all the wonderful mysterious of the Beyond, I don’t want to be here. Losing all of the above has been devastating. There is nothing in this mundane, boring, negative world that sparks interest in me. I just….exist.

As a 6/2 profile (Human Design), this is a difficult time in my life. Ra says that if the 6th line can’t navigate the last stage of their life, when they come “down from the roof ” and rejoin the world, then they often do not live beyond the age of 60. I’m fast approaching that third stage. This year starts the preparatory years leading up to age 50 and my Chiron return. 

When I read what Ra said about 6th lines I immediately thought, “I will be one of those who doesn’t make it”. This is because I have no interest in rejoining a world like this one. I’ve never actually been keen on this world. From my earliest years I’ve been asking – begging – to go Home. My focus has always been on “the end” from the beginning. I’m the kid in the backseat asking repeatedly, “Are we there yet?” 

And I can honestly say I don’t like most people. I am tired of pretending to like them, too. I’ve given up on trying to help. They don’t listen and they don’t want my help, so why bother? 

If my dreams are still any indicator of what is to come (unlikely but I can hope), then it appears I am preparing to exit this life sooner rather than later.

Dream: Clearing Out My Classroom (5/14/23)

I was a teacher and it was the last day of school. I wasn’t returning the next school year so had to clear out my classroom. The thing is, my classroom didn’t resemble a classroom inside but a house!

The first place I cleared out was the kitchen. I removed all the items from the shelves. As I was looking over my work and checking to make sure the drawers and shelves were empty, I noticed flowers growing from the window sill. I said something about leaving behind flowers. I could see purple ones blooming, their roots firmly embedded in the wood of the window. 

I found a box of baking soda and decided to leave it and sprinkle some on the shelves. I also left behind a small, rusted, heart shaped cake pan, setting it in the center of one of the shelves. 

Then I walked towards the living room and decided to grab things to pack away as I walked. There were family pictures lining the shelves. I grabbed each one and stacked them in my arms. There was also a massive mirror I took down and set on its size. I remember thinking it weighed much less than I thought it would. 

At the end of the dream I was in the hallway after shutting my now empty classroom/house. I looked around, noticing how empty and quiet it was. It appeared I was the only one left in the building. This is when I woke up. 

When I woke I felt very good, very peaceful and calm. It seemed like the dream was me contemplating ending a phase of life – or maybe ending life. The feeling I had in the dream was similar to how I’ve felt when I’ve left schools at the end of the school year knowing I wasn’t going to return. It always felt good knowing I wouldn’t have to deal with the BS of the job, the people, and the schedule. Such a relief!

The symbolism of the dream seems to point at an end to life. The classroom is my house, or soul-self in this lifetime. I go through and clear out everything. I leave behind baking soda, which is used to keep spaces smelling good by absorbing bad odors. This could be my attempt to cleanse the space. Then I leave behind a rusty old, heart-shaped cake pan. I obviously don’t think I need it anymore. The cake pan is likely what is left of my attempts to create love. I take down all the family pictures, placing them face down in a pile in my arms. I don’t linger and look at them wistfully. I just want them gone. I also remove a massive mirror. I never look at my reflection in it, I just take it down and lay it on the floor.

The feeling of relief at leaving the classroom in the end is what was more memorable. I felt so at peace with it. 

Dream: Not on the Volunteer List

The dream starts outside on city streets. I am both present and an observer. I see a couple of women approach another woman. There is a verbal confrontation. The women verbally threaten the other woman. I can feel the emotions of the threatened woman. She is shaken and tense, unsure and anxious. 

Then I am watching the previously threatened woman enter a classroom. A short, plump woman with blonde hair approaches her. She is the teacher. I can experience the emotions of the teacher, who seems to be the teacher. She senses that the woman who just entered has had a rough morning. She immediately soothes her and escorts her to a sofa and grabs a blanket. She tells the woman to rest and pulls the blanket around her for comfort. I can feel what the teacher feels. She is extremely concerned and she cries for the other woman. It feels like I’m the one crying.

The teacher is very pleasant and in high spirits. She enjoys her job and she emits a light which illuminates the entire space. It is clear this “class” provides more than just information.

The next student who enters requires a special device to perceive her environment that looks like a camcorder. The teacher greets her warmly. It appears the girl is special needs, specifically hearing impaired. 

Others enter. They are all ages and genders. Some are more talkative while others are subdued. There is a couple who enter who are very chatty. The woman is cutting out a picture using some curved shears. I am suddenly a participant and ask the woman about her shears. She hands them to me to try. I begin to cut and the woman’s partner becomes anxious, worried I will cut outside the lines. I sense his anxiety and decided to put down both the shears and the item I am cutting. His anxiety vanishes.

The teacher then calls to the class. She has a list and is talking about an upcoming event. She is asking for volunteers. One woman says she will bring bread but says, “The kind with gluten”. lol I look on the list and see the item “Bread” and there is no blank to write the gluten part but the woman’s name is there. There are other items on the list, which is very long. Some still have no name beside them. I remember thinking, “No point in putting my name on the list. I won’t be here.” There was finality in this thought.

Then there was discussion about the schedule. I only remember that the time class was done for the day would get the students to the bus by 4:55pm. I remember panicking and looking at my watch because I thought it was already well past that time. The time on my watch was a few minutes before 4pm.

Tears

At a later time I wake up crying but can’t really recall why. I only remember that I had been singing. I lingered in bed a while pondering my tears and the dreams of the night. 

I seldomly sing these days. Singing use to bring me such joy. I have so little joy left. Even thinking of singing feels pointless. If I was crying because of singing, it doesn’t surprise me. The tears were probably tears of relief, relief at finally feeling something positive. 

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A Hellish 10 Days

How is everyone? The eclipse energies and whatever else was going on alongside it was intense, wasn’t it? For me, particularly, it was quite a challenge.

First, there was the mental torture. I did it to myself, of course. My monkey-mind was very, very difficult to shut down. I kept thinking that I needed to act on the repetitive thoughts, because, well they were repeating. As someone with a completely open head center (Human Design) this is a very bad idea. The head center is a pressure center. This means that there is a sense that one should act on the thoughts they are having. But this center doesn’t have the means in and of itself to take any action. It just exerts pressure. Without being connected to an energy center that can take the thoughts and put them into action, the pressure just sits there saying, “DO SOMETHING”. An open head center is like a radio station that never tunes to one channel for very long. The channels constantly change; a constant flow of random thoughts and ideas. So, I have never-ending mind chatter as a rule and the key is to ignore it.

Unfortunately, I didn’t ignore it and it made some unnecessary waves in my life. Thankfully, the waves settled on their own. I could’ve done without the drama, though. Bleh!

On top of all the above, I had some crazy physical symptoms that came out of the blue all at once and with an intensity that had me worried I would have to go to the ER. I know for a fact that my monkey mind created some of it, but at the time I didn’t see the connection.

The physical issues that arose were numerous. The most concerning were the heart palpitations. I’ve had experience with them in the past but never like this. To give you an idea of how frequent they occurred, in a 30 minute window I noted 6 incidences and this was while I was fairly calm, standing at my desk doing work. In comparison, my past experiences would be one or two as I settled down to sleep. The palpitations never came with any other symptoms – no chest pain, no breathing difficulty, no light-headedness – so I just monitored them and changed my intake of caffeine to see if it would help. Two days after cutting all caffeine, the palpitations decreased significantly. Now, at day five they are all but gone. Yay!

One night, however, I was awakened by a bad dream and a pounding heart that wouldn’t settle after waking. In the dream I had taken a young boy hostage and was torturing him (eeek!). I decided to let him go because I didn’t want to kill him. When I did, I immediately regretted my decision and became frantic as I attempted to clean up all traces of me from the crime scene. However, I knew I didn’t have enough time and began to freak out in the dream. When I woke my heart rate was around 100BPM and it took about a half hour for it to settle down.

As a result of the heart palpitations I was constantly staving off panic attacks. Ugh! I became a super-hermit as a result. lol

I had also been feeling more tired in the evenings. It was the tired like I took a sleeping pill when I didn’t. The fatigue would hit me around 8pm, so it didn’t impact my day. Then I would sleep really, really deeply.

I’ve also been extremely angry to the point that I struggle to hold it back. I had a wall of emotion break through and behind it was the anger. Loads and loads – a lifetime of anger.

I’ve also had really itchy arms and eczema. Ugh! So annoying! Thankfully, this is also subsiding now.

In order to ease the physical and mental symptoms, I began to meditate more, take afternoon naps and just increase overall self-care. I even did some Reiki self-healing, which I rarely do.

Thankfully, all of the above has settled. My mind is quieter and I feel calmer in general, the fatigue in the evenings has vanished, my heart palpitations are nearly non-existent and my eczema is clearing. My sleep is back to normal, also, with more frequent waking and better dream recall. The anger is still present, but no longer threatening to overflow. I now need to find a way to release it without negatively impacting those around me.

Dreams

Two distinct dreams from early this morning.

Fairies

In the first one, I was visiting a cavern with my Mom, her husband and my brother. My brother was young, maybe 10 years old. I arrived early when something caught my eye. It was some kind of machine and there were these small, white, fluffy creatures flying around it that resembled a dandelion capitulum. They appeared to be alive, like fairies or butterflies. I tried to take photos and video and my phone froze after a few pics. So, I watched the little fairies, fascinated. They soon transformed into these flat, round, blobs that stuck to the side of the tower. Each had circular nodules poking out of the tops. I was fascinated by them so when Mom arrived I showed her and she said my sister had played that game. I guess it was a half real/half simulated video game of some kind? 

Then Mom and I left and I asked about waiting for her husband and my brother. She said he would call and meet up with us later. We were walking outside in a parking lot but then shifted to inside a space. There, she was going through pots and pans and I had memory of  my sister asking me, through tears, if I had a pasta pot she could have because she lost hers. I mentioned it to Mom and then had memory of a pot and pan I had given Mom a long time ago. It was from early in my marriage. 

Then, we were sitting next to each other talking, but when I turned to look at my mom, she wasn’t there, a blonde man was. He was showing me some wounds on his arms and I saw a circular spot of blood on his blue jeans. I asked, “Did I do that to you?” He laughed and said I hadn’t. Then, without warning, I felt an energy from him that was very attractive and full of love. It washed over me and I leaned toward him as he leaned towards me. We were about to embrace when the energy woke me up. It swirled around my entire body for a bit before I returned to sleep.

Beauty Knows Beauty

This dream began with a story and visual of a young woman. She had been in an accident that had ripped half of her scalp off. After surgery she was almost completely bald. I was told and saw how she had to use makeup and to fill in the bald spots. The hair she had was mostly stubble. I watched as she meticulously filled in bald spots in the front with makeup. I remember thinking she actually looked good and thinking others would get use to her looking that way.

Then I was in a salon. I believe I was both an observer and the participant because I shifted perspectives quite often. The bald girl was me and I was there to get a wig fitted. Then I was standing next to the stylist showing her how long to make the extensions for a black woman (also me). The extensions were extremely long and needed to be trimmed.  

When the black woman’s hair was done she looked beautiful with her new extensions. However, her hair shifted from black to pure white as did her fake eyelashes. As I saw this, the stylist came up to me and put fake eyelashes on me. I laughed because I don’t wear them usually. One wouldn’t stick and I tried to put it back, holding it in my hands for a second to look at it. One second it was black and the next it was white. I never got to see my reflection but was staring at the black woman who now had white hair and lashes.

The stylist, also black, and the other black woman sat and chatted with me like we were good friends. They asked me if I was married and I confirmed I was. They asked how long and I said, “Since 1997, but I’m on my second marriage.” They asked how it was going and I said, “Okay, but as soon as someone better comes along I’m leaving.” We all laughed in unison. One woman was about to ask another question but I interrupted and said, “Do you mind me asking you both something? Why is it that men don’t know how to pleasure a woman?” They laughed in understanding. The answer I got was a sense that the other women knew it as an accepted fact. It also felt like part of the answer was that women were far superior to men when it came to intimacy and connection. Though we know this we don’t boast about it or try to make less of the men. It is a lesson in patience, understanding and acceptance. 

Then, the woman who had white hair was the focus. Her hair was black again and she was upset. I remember reassuring her that she was beautiful. She said, “How do you know? You’re not God.” I replied, “The beauty in me sees the beauty in you.” I wiped the tears from her cheeks as she smiled in gratitude.

Interpretations

My sense of the first dream is that I was being taken in my subconscious (caverns). The “fairies” represent those things which are curious and magical. They shed light on the “games” I enjoy in waking reality. The ending is a reminder of the love available to me.

The second dream feels to be a reflection on inner versus outer beauty. I saw beauty in both women who I also became through the course of the dream. The bald woman and the black woman were both version of myself who I found beautiful in their own distinct ways. The message I gave the woman at the end was also a message to myself. A reminder of what true beauty is.

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Lucid K Dream: Teach Me?

I’m still considering a return to Costa Rica. Yesterday, I spoke with my SIL about it and she is happy to host me for as long as I need. She also has more cabanas available to choose from. One is located right on the beach! When I imagined returning to Costa Rica, I saw myself in a cabana on the beach, so I must have manifested it. 🙂 Her horse ranch is just across the road from the cabana, so I would still be close to her and the horses.

I still haven’t bought a ticket and made my trip official. I have some things to sort out first. If I do go, it looks like it will be around the first week in June.

Last night I was blessed with lucidity again. 🙂

Lucid K Dream: Teach Me?

I was at a school inside a brightly lit classroom. I wasn’t a teacher but seemed to be observing what was going on. It was either between classes or before or after school because there weren’t many students present and there was no formal teaching happening. Instead, the few inside were cleaning up and chatting. 

Exiting the classroom, I stood outside looking at student artwork on the walls. A particular piece caught my eye. It was just stick people and lines; very rudimentary. Yet, as I looked at it, a dot began to travel on its own around the paper. Curious, I looked closer, not believing my eyes. I inspected the piece, checking for abnormalities, but couldn’t find any.

A teacher passing by saw my interest. I told him it moved. He showed me how groves had been made in the cardboard backing to make it seem like it was moving on its own. He also laughed and said it was a particular student who liked playing pranks on people. This was just one example of how the student fooled around.

Still, though, I was suspicious. I thought for sure the school was haunted. 

I went home and climbed into my bed, pulling my covers securely around me. This is where I began to gain lucidity in the dream. Secure in my comfy bed, my thoughts were on the artwork, the boy and what I had just encountered at the school. 

To my surprise, I felt an hand softly touch me on the back and then an entire arm tucked itself under me. Someone was attempting to spoon with me. In that moment I knew: 1. I was in my bedroom, in my bed and 2. no one was in the bed with me, and 3. I must be dreaming. 

Not afraid at all, I turned to see who it was that had climbed into bed with me, thinking, “I want to know who’s there”. I was aware that my usual response to such things it to just lay still and see what, if anything happens. I didn’t want to do the “same ol’ thing”. To my surprise, a very bright-faced, white-blonde haired, young man sat up as I turned to confront him. He had a big smile on his face and his eyes were twinkling. I didn’t recognize him but figured he must be the student whose artwork had caught my attention earlier.

He communicated with me but all I recall are pictures and understanding. A visual of three images, side-by-side, came to my mind. It was somewhat similar to a slot machine in the way it was presented. I can’t recall the pictures but one represented the connecting/communicating via the internet and another was physical connection/communication. I can’t remember the third at all. Maybe spiritual communication? I was to select one. I picked the one on the far right. 

It was also communicated that this young man wanted me to teach him the ropes of sexual communication. Since he appeared far too young, which felt inappropriate, I asked him, “Make yourself 18 or older.” lol I can’t remember if he did or not. He then prepared himself, leaning down, his face aimed at my crotch. I laughed and told him, “Not like that.” He asked, “No?” as if he thought sex was done via the mouth. I pointed to his crotch, still amused. 

I then showed him how it was done and climbed onto his lap. All I recall from that point on is my chakras lighting up one after the other. When my third chakra lit up I felt the familiar energy of returning to my physical body. The energy lingered in my third chakra for some time after. 

by

Finally, A Lucid Dream!

Woke at 5am with thoughts of returning to Costa Rica, this time for three months. It would be nice to wake every morning by the ocean again, to the sounds of the rain forest lulling me to sleep and greeting me every morning. Even the lack of a/c doesn’t phase me. If it means I can be alone for a long stretch then it might be the best thing I could do right now.  

I was considering this as an option when I fell asleep.

Dream: Lonely

The dream began in a very small classroom. I was seated beside about four or five other students and the teacher was at the front near the door. The teacher was giving us instructions for exercises that were part of a workout. Four exercises, one after the other and then a break. I wasn’t interested because of the cramped space. There was nowhere to stand up so the exercises would have to be done while seated. 

A female student seated close to me was far more interesting to me than the class. I turned and began to chat with her. I can’t remember what I was talking about now but she listened attentively. At one point I stomped my foot to emphasize what I was saying but that is all I can remember. 

Suddenly, the class was finished and everyone was getting up to leave. The student I had been talking to told me the teacher was annoyed by my behavior. I mentioned that I had wondered if she even noticed I wasn’t participating. The other student confirmed, saying the teacher was especially bothered when I stomped my foot. I remember thinking my behavior rude but didn’t care. The teacher in me, however, understood the teacher’s perspective.

We left the classroom together and began walking down a wide sidewalk on campus. It was bright and sunny outside and there was a lot of space and greenery around. The other student walked to my left, a span of about eight feet between us. She was cordial but appeared to not want to be associated with me.  I didn’t blame her. 

We walked in silence for a bit, me thinking how nice it would be to have her as a friend. In my mind I knew a friendship was out of the question because, 1. she was much younger than me and so we would have little in common, and 2. I couldn’t trust her to listen to me without judgement. 

I realized then that when I had been talking to her in class, she only appeared to be listening in order to not draw attention to herself. Had I paid attention to her body language I would’ve known she had no interest whatsoever in what I was saying. I had inadvertently made her my accomplice.

With these thoughts I remember acknowledging my loneliness in this life. I began to cry as I realized there was really no one I could talk to, like really talk to. I can’t even blog or post in forums without someone judging me and writing critical comments. Even if their comments appear constructive, I can feel the irritation in their replies. How dare I feel what I feel and not see how blessed I am compared to them and others! Then I feel guilty, thinking they are right. I have no right to complain or be unhappy when so many people have it far worse. I figure, if I can’t vent my frustrations, petty or not, without feeling judged, then I should just hold it in. So, I hold it in where it festers and turns into bitterness. 

I have no safe space. Nowhere is safe to openly be myself. So, I suffer alone, in silence. How dare I feel what I feel!? Like my mom always told me, “Spoiled, ungrateful brat”.

I woke briefly from the tears and returned to dreamtime.

Lucid Dream: Doing My Mom’s Laundry

My mother must’ve been on my mind because I end up in her house. The purpose of my visit is to check on her because she is ill.  

I walk into the house. It is dark and quiet. I carefully make my way to my mother’s bedroom. I have with me a white, plastic bag. It contains items I think will make her feel better while she recuperates. 

I knock and announce my entry. When I enter she is fast asleep. I whisper to her that I brought her a care package. I set it on the nightstand and tiptoe out of the room. I shut the door behind me.

As I am leaving, I hear something behind me. I turn to see the bedroom door has opened. I return and close it. When I turn back towards the living room I see the TV is on. The volume is too high so I turn it off, thinking it will wake up my mom. When I look up I see her bedroom door is open yet again. I go and shut it. When I turn back towards the living room, again, the TV is on and the volume too high. This time I see my oldest son lying on the sofa covered in blankets. I tell him he needs to get up and get ready to leave. He protests, wanting to finish his TV show. I notice he is much younger than he is in waking reality. Looking closer, I suspect he is about 5 or 6 years old. 

I look towards my mom’s bedroom because I again worry she will be awakened by the TV. Once again, the door is open. Thinking I must not be closing it all the way, I return and specifically focus on closing it completely. I hear it click and am satisfied.

At this point I am becoming suspicious, thinking something is not quite right. So, I investigate. I look around, noting what is out of place. The TV is on the wrong side of the room and the sofa is where the front door should be. My son is too young. And what is he doing there in the first place? And the bedroom door keeps coming open. 

I head into the kitchen. It is a mess and I think of helping my mom out by tidying up. I decide that is what I will do but am distracted. The laundry room door is open and the light is on, I head in that direction instead. I am suspicious. My mom doesn’t have a laundry room!

When I walk into the laundry room it is very brightly lit. The first thing I notice is the washer is missing. I think it must be broken. Yet, the minute I have this thought, I am leaning down and pulling out wet close from the washer! When I look down, it isn’t there but I have some wet clothing in my hands. So, I decide to dry the clothes for my mom so they won’t be mildewy. Suddenly, the empty space below me has a very tiny dryer. It is so tiny I have to kneel down to open the lid. I turn it on and it works. I feel hot air blowing right in my face. I dump in a couple of items and close the lid (which is on top like a washing machine). 

I hear what sounds like my mom’s voice behind me. I think, “I must have awakened her.” I turn and the door to the laundry room is closed. I reach to open the door and as I do, I feel someone tap me on the right shoulder. It is a very real, very solid feeling and surprises me. No one is in the room with me! I finish opening the door and behind it is a solid wall. I remember thinking there is no way out but don’t care because….it is a dream.

I turn to see who tapped me on the back. Finding no one, I laugh to myself. Of course there isn’t. The tap was meant to get my attention. The tap was meant to help me recognize the dream!

My attention is drawn to a rack that is above the dryer. This rack physically exists in my house in waking reality. I see two white strings hanging from the rack. On the ends of them are little balls. At the back of my mind I am considering the lack of an exit but don’t care. I want to play. So, I decide I want to make one of the balls move. I “think” it into motion, because, well it’s MY dream. I am instantly successful. Next, I make both little balls swing towards one another. My intention works and they hit and explode in opposite directions. I feel successful and laugh. This wakes me up.

When I wake I can feel the return to my physical body, something I haven’t felt in ages! The transition is fairly smooth, which also surprises me. The energy settles, indicating I can move. I open my eyes and shift positions, knowing that doing this prevents me from immediately returning to the OOB state. I don’t care. I know I’m too excited for that.

Considerations

The first dream is a typical scenario in my life. When I am in a good mood, I often talk fast and excitedly to others and easily ignore signs that indicate the communication is unwanted or at an inappropriate time. In the dream it was a classmate and I definitely missed the obvious signs.

I get sad in the dream because I want a friend and am lonely. Yet, my experience of friendships has not been good. They tend to be one-sided. The friend wants me to be a friend to them but, when it is time for them to be a friend to me, they fall short. All I want is a safe place to be myself, to be heard and accepted. I can honestly say I’ve never found that in a friend. Not once. This dream came with tears, of course, and me recognizing I’ve given up on finding a friend, or even a lover, that provides me with that safe space. I’ve even withdrawn from public journals and forums because, well it hurts when I bare my soul and am rejected for it.

I can already hear the comments and questions in response to what I wrote above. Have you provided a safe place for others? I think I use to, back when I eagerly accepted friendships and wanted to be a “good friend”. As I’ve grown more cautious and cynical, I just outright reject offers of friendship if I sense even the slightest judgment or criticism from the other’s energy. So, yeah, I’m super stand-offish and, where I use to listen with compassion and sympathy to the other, now I don’t have the time for it. Why give the other all I have when it won’t be returned? I’m done being stepped on and used. 

And if you judge me for what I just said, well f**k off!

As for the lucid dream, it was pretty awesome, even if short-lived. There was a return of the symbolism of tidying up my mom’s house. I recently had a dream where I was doing just that and also making her bed. This time I was also doing her laundry. The symbolism is purification, acceptance and an attempt to clean things up in general. The door opening time and time again is an indicator that there is something I wish to put an end to but it just isn’t happening. There is still something left undone. Thankfully, I hear the door click, so maybe there is hope?  

I find it reassuring that I am still capable of having lucid dreams and going OOB. It has been sooooo long! It was nice to feel playful and curious again. That is my natural state. I miss feeling like that.

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Dream: Vision Check

Woke up upset from a dream at 5am. In it, I got a phone call from my son’s friend’s mother. She said my son had been bitten by a dog but would be okay. When I asked questions she said the bite wasn’t as bad as the first one. I asked, “What do you meant the first one?” She ignored my question and told me he would be okay but I insisted she at least give him some pain meds. The connection was broken so I called back and got my son. She had taken him to a Rite Aid where she reassured me she was getting him taken care of. I asked to see the bite and saw it via video. My son’s entire thumb and two middle fingers were fully bandaged and blood was seeping through. This upset me further. The mom told me she gave him Xanax. Concerned because Xanax is not a pain medicine, I insisted she take him to the ER because he probably needed stitches. She kept saying he was okay. I finally threatened to call the cops but she hung up. 

The dream woke me up and I struggled to return to sleep. It bothered me that a mother would give a child Xanax.

Dream: Vision Check

The beginning of the dream is hard to recall. I was inside a suburban neighborhood in a house. It was early morning, so still somewhat dark outside. I noticed someone running through the back yard and across towards the street. He was wearing a dark hoodie and had a backpack. I thought the house must be located somewhere people used as a shortcut. Maybe he was headed to school.

I looked out the window to see where he was going and he went to the street and then down it. I saw a van parked there and yelled at it because I seemed to know who was inside. A head popped out, acknowledging me. So, I went out to the van.

I must have gotten inside the van because then I drove the car slowly up and down the road. As I looked to my left I notice the lines of suburban houses. One was the neighbor’s and looked to have had a new skylight installed. Curious, I stopped and put the van in reverse to get a better look. When I looked, though, all the houses were gone and in their place were red brick, nondescript buildings several stories high that stretched as far as my eyes could see. The windows were plain and spaced evenly like apartments. 

Thinking it odd, I stopped the van to go take another look. So, I backed up to see if the houses reappeared. In fact, I thought, “They will reappear”, recognizing I was creating what I saw. Sure enough, the houses were back just as before. Laughing, I got out of the car to walk the road so I can see my creation but was nearly struck by people walking or running past. They were all are wearing dark hoodies, some in groups, and it felt unsafe, so I jumped in the passenger’s side of the van. My husband was inside and I asked him to look outside and tell me what he saw. I asked him if he saw houses or the red, brick buildings. I don’t remember his response but the van moved forward and I saw the red brick buildings again. I put my head and upper body out the window to look as the van gets closer. The buildings were about five or six stories tall and had no markings to indicate what kind of building they were but seemed to be apartments. Eventually, though, I saw a glowing, white sign on the building. The sign read, “Vision Checks” or something like that. I think it must be a hospital, maybe even an ER, but there are no other markings. Could it be a prison? There were no bars indicating such a structure, though.

I woke up around this time but ended up going in and out of the in-between for a bit. All I really remember is mulling over the red brick buildings. Why did I see them? What does it mean? The answer I received is that the dream is showing me something about myself. 

Perhaps I consider suburbia a prison? That thought has definitely crossed my mind before. However, upon further consideration, I think it is more that all the houses represent “individuals” and the red brick buildings are the reality. We are all the same. Yet, I am aware of a side of myself that is critical of the human desire to be special and unique. Each house is a unique representation of an individual. I reject this and replace the houses with the identical brick buildings.

The “vision checks” sign is likely my subconscious trying to get through to me. I should “check my vision”. 

In the end, my takeaway is that one’s perspective paints their reality. I can choose to be critical of all the people around me desperately trying to distinguish themselves from one another or I can see it as the soul creating something unique via individual experience.

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Healing Dream Visit

Woke in tears just before 5am. Prior to sleep I prayed for guidance on certain things. I’m not sure this dream did that but it definitely shed some light on why I have been feeling so angry.

Healing Dream Visit

I woke up at my Mom’s house and immediately began tidying up. I knew that my heart connection was there. He had stayed the night. The feeling I had was akin to holding my breath. There was a lot of emotion and I was working hard to hold it all back.

I was in her room making her bed when he first approached me. He asked me what I was doing and I told him I was “cleaning up”. He came up to me and we hugged. Being close to him was marvelous but also bittersweet. Our Divine connection, the love, the magnetism – all of it – came back all at once. 

We talked some but I don’t remember what we talked about now. I believe he told me he was also cleaning up and that it had to do with his own mother. 

Most of my memory revolves around us kissing passionately and embracing. We did this for a while and I wanted desperately for him to stay, but I knew he was going to leave. This Knowing was the bittersweet part. Knowing we couldn’t be together, that we had different paths to take and the moment would pass leaving me decimated all over again. I cried slow, sorrowful tears as we lingered there together. 

This lasted quite a while and I know there were other parts of the dream I can’t recall going on behind the scenes. Discussion was the main part but I have flashes of other memories. In one, he was watching a movie. The scene playing was of a man disrespecting a woman. My response was to comment on how unfair it was that men were misrepresented like that.

When it was time for him to leave I watched him go. I could hear him sobbing and I called out to him. When he turned around, tears streaming down his face, he was no longer him but an unfamiliar woman. I had no idea who this woman was but I said to her, “I know how you feel because I feel it, too.”  

After

I awoke in shock. The emotion and connection from the dream still with me. I was laying on my back and if I moved even the slightest tears would come rolling out of my eyes. I wasn’t actively crying but the tears were there, welling up and continuing to overflow as if a part of me had been saving them up for just this moment. 

The anger at the unfairness of life was apparent. I was angry that such a love existed – still out there – but I couldn’t enjoy it. It had been tainted by our humanity, corrupted by conditioning and false beliefs. And it was clear karma played a part, too, keeping us focused on whatever plans were set in motion when we entered these physical bodies. 

I can’t help but feel as if I am being punished. I know that isn’t how it works, but it feels that way anyway. The woman at the end of the dream feels to be a version of me that I was acknowledging. I was empathizing with her, telling her I could feel what she felt and shared her grief. Perhaps it is a positive, indicating that I am finally accepting some part or all of the lesson? 

Regardless, it is clear I am still healing. I’ve been reminded of this frequently but the memories of the healing are so infrequent that I forget.  

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Progress and K Dream

I’ve been struggling with monkey-mind more than usual this past two weeks. I got fed up with it and finally prayed for assistance.

Assistance was provided, though I wasn’t consciously aware of the change until the end of the day, Monday.

Since then, mind chatter has been low to non-existent. I actually caught myself ignoring thoughts that passed through rather than focusing on them. The results were magnificent; however, I caught myself “bored” on more than one occasion. It is odd to have no thought and I find it “boring”. When my mind chatter is turned on there is so much to be “entertained” by that it makes life a bit more interesting. The problem is that the kind of things I think of are usually not positive. I typically focus on problems, on things that irritate and annoy me or on random memories and events that have no point except to pull me out of the present moment. 

I realized I give my thoughts so much energy to remind myself of things that need to be done. If I am not thinking of that to-do list for the day/week/month, then I worry I will forget and end up with future problems. For example, if I don’t remember to pick up my child from that after school practice or don’t pay a bill. But if I look at most of the items on this never-ending to-do list, there are few that really are so important that I need to constantly remind myself of them. Thinking of things that need to be done typically leaves me feeling anxious or unsettled. So, it would be better, I think, to just let them go along with all the other pointless information floating around in my head. 

As someone with a completely open head center in HD, there is a “pressure to think about things that don’t matter,”. An open head is a constant in-flow of pointless chatter. My youngest son, who has an undefined head center, easily gets pulled into this chatter, also. He has mentioned struggling to keep his mind quiet. He often goes off into daydreams or loses touch with present time conversations because of it. When he was really little, he would blurt out random comments out of the blue. He still does this every now and then. I suspect as he gets older he will withhold the random, off-subject comments but he will still think them. This happens as people repeatedly reject him for this quirky habit. I know, I learned to keep quiet for the same reason. I was always blurting out random things as a child. I still sometimes do. lol

Every one in my family – me, my husband and three children – have open/undefined head centers. All of us are going around thinking about things that don’t matter and blurting out off-topic stuff at random. It can be quite entertaining, until it’s not. lol

Surprise K Dream

With my success in containing my monkey-mind, at least for the time being, I was blessed with another K Dream. 🙂

In the dream, my husband took me and the kids to a friend’s house. We were at their house in their garage and my husband let the boys play with her boys. I remember the purpose of the visit was to plan some event. 

Then they (my husband, his friend and others) all were wearing bright red capes with hoods. It reminded me of a cult. The capes had a gold emblem on the front. When they all had their hoods up it was creepy. They were gathering for some kind of ceremony. This creeped me out and I demanded the children leave with me. I got them to meet me at a truck and we drove off.

Then I was inside a space with a male energy who I considered my “husband”. Someone was talking to me. IDK if it was this “husband” or someone else. I remember seeing a line of naked men facing me while standing along a black wall, hand-in-hand. There was no way to get through them and they didn’t move. The man whose voice I heard told me, “You should have more sex”. I disagreed, of course, and was not interested. I sat down with my back to the “husband” character in the dream as the voice made this statement. I was very resistant and the emotion I remember feeling the strongest was anger. It made me angry that this man would suggest I have more sex with my husband. My anger created an energetic “wall” around me.

The anger was still strong when my “husband” slowly pulled up behind me. I couldn’t see him but he was very obviously attempting to have sex with me. I could feel him pressed up against my back. Still angry and purposefully facing away from him, I didn’t physically resist his advances. I felt a surge of pleasure like a lightening bolt hit my root. I moved with it and it exploded upward becoming ever more pleasurable. It wasn’t an orgasm, though, just pure ecstasy.

The feeling woke me but did not stop. Instead, it spread upward into my heart where it settled and then moved back down. The energy kept circulating between root and heart this way for some time. It was pleasurable but not overwhelming.

The message to “have more sex” was odd. With who I wonder? The men lined up against the black wall? So odd! What is clear is that I have a lot of pent-up anger I’m carrying around. The anger didn’t feel bad in the dream, it felt almost good, like tension that has built-up over time.

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Lightning Strike

I had an unexpected Kundalini dream. What is crazy about it is that it coincided with a thunderstorm.

Prior to falling asleep it was so quiet it was unsettling. I turned on some white noise to help me fall asleep. It was “the quiet before the storm” – literally. 

Dream – Acceptance

This dream was very complex in that there were multiple layers to it. What I mean by this is that several dreams occurred simultaneously creating a layered effect. Typically I only experience two layers – one where I am in a discussion with a guide/assistant and another the visuals that accompany it creating the main dream experience. Because of the many layers, my recall is limited and so I will focus on the part I recall most vividly.

I am in my bedroom. A friend is visiting. He is not suppose to be there. I feel like a teenager who snuck my boyfriend in. We are kneeling side-by-side on the floor with our forearms resting on the bed. We are talking and laughing and generally very physically close. There is a great sense of comfort and ease I’ve rarely felt in this life. 

At one point he gets up and walks across the room. I realize quickly it is because my mom has called out to me and he is checking the door. I observe his appearance and notice he resembles someone I once dated. Yet he is most definitely not that person. The real face of my friend shifts into the face of my ex over and over as if to get my attention. I realize I don’t care what he looks like. What matters is his soul; his energy. The moment I have this realization is very prominent in the dream.

My friend takes me to the door and opens it. He invites me to go inside. When I approach the door, it changes into to a metal door, that opens into a vault. I step inside and find myself in a golden hued room. On the ground at my feet are hundreds of unopened letters from my friend.

Vaguely, I recall discussing a gift he once gave me. He asked me if I had forgotten about it. He turns towards a table. Sitting on top of it is a small box that looks like it might contain jewelry. He opens the box and dumps the contents into his hand. He extends his closed hand towards me and opens it. I see three small, sparkly hearts in the palm of his hand. They are chocolates coated in “diamond” sugar. His gift is priceless. I remember feeling pleased and grateful for the gift. I had forgotten about it.

There is physical interference at this point. The thunder from the storm briefly pulls me out of my dream but doesn’t wake me. I can sense the lightening flashing and feel the rumble of the thunder throughout the rest of the dream.

Then we are sitting close together, intertwined, our shoulders touching. We are facing one another. His chin is tucked up against my shoulder. I gently slide my finger up his spine from his shoulder blades to the nape of his neck. When I do this, I feel what he feels. He enjoys the sensation, as do I, but when he looks at me I feel a spark of desire. In that moment, I see a flash of lightning and am overcome with ecstasy. The feeling shoots through me and I melt, completely incapacitated by it. I remember thinking, “This will surely kill me.” I swear I hear a reply: “No.” I wake up. The lightning is still flashing and I hear thunder rumbling all around me.

I relish the lingering ecstasy. It has been so long! I say, “thank you”. 

I fall back into the in-between. The “dream” continues but feels present in physicality. I can feel my friend close, just like in the dream. Our foreheads are touching and he begins to whisper to me as his lips lightly brush mine. He says one word at a time. I only remember a few: slow, gentle, patient. With each word I am overcome with the same ecstasy as before, only it is centered in my core rather than rising up from my root. It spreads outward and I melt into it. 

I want to open fully to the energy but am distracted. It is so HUGE. I feel certain it will kill me. I hear that it most definitely will not. I am told what I am feeling is ME. 

Eventually, I ask to return to sleep because I can’t sleep. The energy is too distracting. Thankfully, my request is granted.

This song was on my mind throughout the night:

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Dream: Buried Horses

Woke up in tears twice last night/this morning.

But first, something interesting happened yesterday. 

Through the window I saw two men struggling with a cat. One had on gloves and the other had a carrier. The cat kept attacking the man wearing gloves but it didn’t run far. It seemed injured and the men weren’t making progress, so, I went out with a large towel to try and help. The men were grateful and tried covering the cat with a towel. Surprisingly, it jumped and ran away and hid in the bushes. It’s hind legs were definitely injured. We followed it but it was very obviously stressed, panting hard and pupils dilated. We decided to let it rest and one of the men was going to call animal control.

I went back to my house to work and watched the cat from the window. It didn’t move and the sun was beating down on it. After some time passed I felt bad and took it some water. It wouldn’t drink and just hissed at me. So I returned to watch from a distance while I worked. 

Eventually one of the men returned. I went out and he said animal welfare didn’t open until 11am and were on their way. It had been over an hour. The cat was still alive but weak and stressed. Animal welfare arrived and picked it up easily. It hissed but didn’t put up a fight. It was too weak. The welfare worker said it was going directly to the vet. If it survived they would place it for adoption.

I went inside and cried a bit for the poor thing. I noted that it was likely symbolic and a message I needed to pay attention to. Cat = Divine Feminine, feminine sexuality. This cat was injured and refused help (stubborn). It only accepted help when it was near death and completely exhausted. 

On to the dreams….

Uncle Visit

I don’t remember much about the beginning of this dream now, unfortunately. I remember my uncle was there and I was in awe of his transformation from the man I once knew to the man he was in the dream. Though he was old, I admired him and could feel a strong connection between us that caused me to not care that he was so much older or that he was my uncle. It was as if we were the same age to me.

In one scene I was walking through a dark room towards a closed, half door. As I walked what looked like a large turkey ran across my path. It hid and I continued walking. I came upon a woman who was there and said to her, “Be careful, I saw a turkey. I think he hid under there.” I pointed to an old table on its side. The woman laughed and ran up to the table and reached underneath. She pulled out a red hen and cuddled it. It was friendly and she held it close.

I went inside a room where I saw my uncle. He told me about losing his beloved dog and how he had to put her down when she was 12 years old, saying she “lived until the day she died”. There was a visual of the dog, a small Chihuahua that was active and energetic. I saw the dog stop in her tracks and fall over when she died. 

I walked away for a bit, pondering the visual of the dog. I wanted to tell my uncle something. When I returned, he wasn’t a he, though, but a tall, older woman with long graying hair. Still, I knew his energy and that it was him using a different body/image. I said, “I meant to tell you something regarding the loss of your dog. You said she lived until the day she died. Well, I wanted to say, we all do [live until the day we die]”. In the dream, saying this felt poignant for some reason.

The most vivid part is the end. I looked up at my uncle as the woman. She was much taller than I and very beautiful despite being old and gray. I asked, “Why weren’t you like this when I was younger?” I began to sob to the point that I could hear my sobs in the dream. I woke up still crying.

Buried Horses

I returned to the dream with the female version of my uncle. Still a woman, she was telling me about how upset she was about 16 years she wasted on an old house. She said, “It’s been since 1930!” I said to her, “That must have been very difficult.” I listened with compassion and held one of her hands. What she was saying seemed important. The house was a total loss and she was upset for trying so hard and wasting so much time.

She told me about also her horses. She had to put them down. She showed me a visual of taking their bodies and burying them on a hill. She was grieving for them still and wanted to return to their burial site. I went with her. We walked up this tall hill and I could see the top of what appeared to be a brown horse’s head poking out of the dirt. I knelt down to look closer at the horse. It’s eyes were long gone and empty sockets stared back at me. I was then shown what was under the dirt. I saw the legs of the horses extending down into the darkness. 

I don’t remember why or when this dream made me cry but it did and I woke briefly only to return to the in-between. There I saw a visual of my uncle as both the male and female versions. I saw over his head the number 52 while also hearing it spoken. I sensed a heavy dread indicating that difficult times were ahead. This woke me completely and I said, “I don’t want to be that age.” I heard him ask why and I replied, “It’s too old.” I felt suddenly very old and tried to return to sleep, but couldn’t. 

Messages

I realized quickly some of the messages from the dreams. 

The turkey turned chicken is symbolic of fear. I am fearful of the turkey, avoiding it and warning another of its presence. Then the turkey is actually a very nice, pet chicken. So, this could be symbolic of confronting my fears; recognizing that what appears scary isn’t really scary.

What I said about living until the day we die was very much reminiscent of the other dreams I’ve had recently about running out of time in this life. It felt like I was noticing that I can either live fully until the end, or not.

My comment to my uncle that made me cry is about me wishing that I had the wisdom of old age in my youth. It felt very much like my other dreams that indicated that there was not much left of this life. 

In the following dream, the 16 years stands out to me because this year marks year 16 of my marriage. A house is symbolic of one’s Self. In this case, the Self has spent 16yrs focusing on a life lesson/path. The woman, very likely an older, wiser version of myself, is regretting spending so much time on this one lesson. She feels she wasted too much time on it and regrets that her efforts to “save” it were unsuccessful.  

Finally, burying the horses seems to have two messages. 

First, symbolically, dead horses mean a stage of life is coming to an end. Usually, it indicates the end of a relationship and the grieving process. It suggests a warning of difficult times ahead. It is a message that it is time to let go of a person or thing(s) that is no longer significant to you at this point of  your journey. It is time to start working towards something new, leaving the past behind and forging a new path. A dead, brown horse (like this one was) is symbolic of paying too much attention to others and neglecting yourself. Source: https://www.fromtheangels.com/spirituality/dead-horse-spiritual-meaning-and-symbolism/

The fact that I went back with the older version of myself to visit the horses indicates that I am willing to confront the situation(s). I am recognizing the upcoming difficulties despite them making me uncomfortable and sad. 

The buried horses remind me of a song I use to listen to frequently. Specifically, a verse – “I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground”. The song is about leaving the past behind and ending repetitive, negative cycles. 

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Unexpected Dream Visit

A full night of dreams. I had a surprise dream visit from an online friend. I almost became lucid from it, recognizing I was with him in the dream. This is the second dream now where I realize I’m dreaming but don’t direct the dream afterward.

Dreams

Three-Legged Person

I was in a coffee shop with someone I never saw but we were observing the people in the space and talking about our observations. There was a man dressed all in white standing at the counter. His two legs were in one pant leg only. Across the room was a woman who was similarly dressed all in white and also had two legs in one pant leg. The observation was stated that they must have once been two halves of a whole and how that would’ve looked. I saw the man and woman together, then, walking through the doors as a three-legged person. The large, middle leg was prominent, and they appeared happy. I wondered what it must be like. Surely, it would become uncomfortable after a while and the two would want to be separate and go their own ways? Then I saw the two apart again and my attention was directed to another part of the room.

In front of me was a golden colored, circular table. It was small and obviously meant to seat only two people. On the table were various items. I began to sort through them as I spoke to my companion. The only item I remember now is a small, boxy purse that had a latch on the front. I didn’t open it but set it on the table. 

I remember being informed about a friend’s love issues. He was struggling and seemed to have experienced yet another failed romance. I remember commenting that I wasn’t surprised by this. It was at this point I think that a decision was made but I can’t remember what it was. This is where the dream ended.

Genetic Manipulation 

The above dream blanks out and I shifted into a new scene. Note: I think what actually happens is I enter a different stage of sleep and the shift occurs when I re-enter REM.

I was walking across a green field (emotional and intimate connection with another) with a man. I could see a single-lane, paved road (life path) ahead of us and more green fields on the other side of the road. It was a very beautiful place and I felt at ease there with the man.

Some cats (feminine sexuality, creativity) cross our paths and I notice one had very strange color markings that reminded me of a red fox. It’s body is mostly black but its feet, ears, paws and tail were red. The man mentions genetic manipulation caused the odd patterning and I brought up gene splicing but he insisted this kind of manipulation was very different. It felt like the manipulation changed the very core of the sequence creating a newly evolved cat. We talked in depth about the female cat (Divine Feminine) who mothered this “mutant” cat but most of it is lost.

We continued walking towards the road. When we cross it the direction we were walking continues straight ahead but my perspective turns back in the direction from which we came. It is like someone picked up the whole scene and turned it around. It was momentarily disorienting and I noted it in the dream.

Our discussion changed to manipulation of human genes. My friend spoke about his research and I begin to regard him as a doctor. We entered a building and know there is a research team meeting in a separate room from where we are. My friend remains with me and continues to talk about his research. 

Something about the way he talks and his mannerisms brings to my awareness a person I know in waking reality. Smiling to myself, I am amused by this person’s tendency to go on and on about topics that interest them. I turn and look at him, confirming he is who I know him to be, and think, “I wonder if he knows who I am?” We are standing in front of a counter, both of us leaning on it, our forearms nearly touching. He is still talking about his research. I look down at his bare arm and move mine up against his and then touch his hand. Looking up at him, I ask him, “Do you know who I am?” He pauses and confirms that he does. Our connection is apparent in that moment and I feel a strong desire to get very close and snuggle with him. It is a very friendly, familial and comfortable feeling.

He continues talking, thoroughly immersed in the topic. He asks me about pregnancy (new life, potential) and I remember talking to him about my SIL’s experiences with miscarriage. His interest lies in the experience of pregnancy, though, and he asks me to recount my own experience. I wonder what part he is interested in and ask, “What month? Maybe the 5th?” He says he is interested only how it felt. I focus in on a memory of one of my pregnancies and see my baby laying sideways across my mid-section. I describe this and he askes, “But how does it feel?”  I try to feel into the memory and describe what I feel.

Next, he offers me a bag of M&M’s (sweetness, temptation). I laugh, feeling suddenly playful, and grab it. He asks me to pick one and see if I can pick the red (passion, sexuality) one. I dig into the bag, sneaking a peak, and select a red one. I place it in front of him and hand him the bag. I feel successful.

I am surprised to have had a dream visit and lay thinking about it for a while. A song is on my mind throughout this time, specifically this part: “Get out of my head”. I’m not sure why this song was going through my mind but it might have to do with the ending of the dream where I am being asked to focus on how I feel.

Towed

Again a shift and I find myself on the phone with a female friend of mine. She tells me her car was towed and their other car broke down. The conversation is cut short. She has to go. I tell her, “If there is anything I can do, let me know.” 

Then I am in the parking lot (paused in life, waiting) with her husband. He is explaining that a private lot where they use to park suddenly began to tow vehicles parked illegally without informing anyone of their decision. His wife’s car was one of those. He showed me the fence they put up. It had barbed wire on the top. He showed me the area where they had parked. It was not in a space but in a corner. There was another car parked in a similar corner that he said would soon be towed. I remember noting the parking lot was not paved but gravel with very green grass around the edges. My friend’s husband seemed worried but also like he normally does in waking reality, making it seem like he had everything handled. This is rarely the case, though. 

This is the third dream about my friend in a couple of weeks. In this particular dream, it feels like I am being given a glimpse at a current life issue. Towed car could indicated an unexpected life path disruption. That her husband’s car is broken down indicates his life path is unchanged, unmoving, or stuck. He is confident he can help but he can’t and she knows it.

Song

When I woke I recognized how the first two dreams were related. The first dream appeared to be about my friend’s issues with romantic relationships. He desires a close partnership where the two are as one (three-legged person) but ultimately the two do not remain that way. The second was a continuation of the first dream but he had changed the topic to genetic research. 

I was surprised to have had a dream visit from this friend. I haven’t heard from him (in dreams or otherwise) in quite some time. It seems he was sharing some of his life experiences with me as well as some of his current research interests. The feeling in the dream gave me the sense that we often guide/assist one another.

As I attempted to return to sleep, a song chorus came to mind – “Everybody hurts sometime. Everybody lose their mind. Yeah, we’re gonna be alright. You can rely on me”.