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Dead Dove

I was feeling pretty good….until I went outside to wait for my daughter to get off the bus.

I sat in my normal spot intending to enjoy some much needed solitude and at my feet was this:

dove

This is a white-winged dove They are native to Texas and often live in the city and suburbs as well as the country. It looks like this one was shot. It has an entry and exit wound right through its center. Who would have shot it? Likely neighborhood boys with BB guns. 😦

When I saw it my heart sank. I thought, “Oh no. Not a good sign! There’s goes my peace.” My second thought was that it means the end to a relationship.

I grew up around doves, specifically mourning doves in the hill country of Texas. I use to get a kick out of going near one of their nests and watching as the adult bird would fly off of it as if they were wounded. My grandfather told me this was their way of protecting their young. If predators thought the adult was wounded they would follow them and leave the nest alone. I have never seen another bird do something like that. It is ingenious!

Doves mate for life. I recall vividly my grandfather telling me how, when one dove dies, their partner will often sit next to the dead body and end up getting killed themselves because of their intense loyalty to their partner. I remember seeing this often as we would drive by a dead dove on the road. I always saw its partner not far away, usually on a tree or fence nearby. I thought it both beautiful and sad at the same time. As a kid I thought it was stupid because the living dove would just end up dead eventually. lol

Burying the Dove

Since my middle son already saw the dead dove, I let both my youngest touch it and lifted it up for them to see. It was freshly dead, still warm, and I could clearly see the entrance and exit wounds. I knew once my daughter arrived we would need to bury it. It just felt like the right thing to do.

My kids helped me picked a spot in our back yard and I dug the grave while they collected rocks. We put it in its grave and then covered it up. My daughter asked where doves go when they die. I said, “I don’t know. Dove heaven?” She said, “Is there such a thing?” I said, “Probably. It goes where all things go when they die.” My middle son kept asking why its eyes were closed. I kept repeating, “Because it’s dead.” I think he finally figured that out once we buried it. That’s him in the picture.

My youngest didn’t care at all about the dove. lol

I am hoping this “sign” is just a coincidence, but from the looks of it, it seems like a message to me. The poor dove was shot right through the heart. And it had just died. It must have fallen in that spot literally minutes before I stepped outside because it was still warm. It is cold enough outside here and the bird small enough that it would have been stiff after 15 minutes. How do I know all of this? Because as a tom-boy growing up in the country I was always messing with dead things. 😉

So maybe if it is a sign it is just to tell me that I will have little peace in the future. I really rather it not be the loss of a partner.

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Reminder: Keep Your Thoughts in Check

Today has already been very different from the last month. I awoke with an odd feeling – very “normal” and calm. I have been experiencing major up’s and down’s for some time, so the settled feeling was welcomed. My entire perception seems to have shifted over night. I wonder if this feeling marks the beginning of whatever Chapter 2 is all about?

Realizations

As is part of my daily routine with my two youngest, we went to the playground and then for a walk around the neighborhood. As I was watching them play I realized that I have been very much caught up in my mind for a while now, worrying about the future or wondering what to do next. I felt that this was a slip on my part but now I am at the point where I can resume focusing on the present, living in the present and living from my heart.

I knew my Team was communicating with me in their silent but intense way and was grateful. It is a knowingness that just rises up from within and brings with it a distinct presence; a We rather than a Me.

They suggested I practice meditation throughout my day, mainly keeping a watch on my thoughts and not letting them run a muck. With this came the reminder that I am manifesting my reality on a much higher level than ever before. It is very important right now to keep a tight rein on thought for this very reason.

I was also reminded that being present in the moment, not focusing on the future and what may or may not happen, is all part of learning to trust and follow the heart. When it is time to do something or change something I will know. The heart will tell me.

With this my heart began to pull intensely and my third-eye began to buzz.

Message well received.

So, I began to monitor my thoughts and keep them in check. I let myself observe and be present in the moment. It was/is a nice feeling. I can’t believe I forgot about it. I am corrected from within here – They say “You were distracted”. Yeah, okay, distracted. 🙂

 

 

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Chapter 2

Sleep was difficult to come by yesterday. I kept being woken up by my children and when I slept it was very light and restless. I have very little recollection of my dreams except for a few distinguishing points. I also received some messages relevant to my future and this blog.

Summer 2016

Prior to my first rude awakening by screaming children, I had been in a dream receiving information via a yearly forecast. The forecast was for 2016 and a man was reading it aloud to me. I was following along, reading the text and could see that the forecast was part of a woman’s blog, but I don’t know whose.

He read aloud, “It is going to be a hot summer in Texas this year – brutally HOT.” With this, I received knowing about what this meant. I saw a repeat of the past occurring on top of the current year. It was like overlapping timelines. The first occurrence was brutal in and of itself, though I did not receive specifics as to what past summer it was. The second was like a doubling of the same energy. I am not certain what exactly the word “hot” symbolizes. Could it be a sexual reference? Or does is referring to an actual heat wave which would not be out of the ordinary for Texas? Whatever it means I feel it is a warning of things to come and am not sure I like the feel of it.

Socked Feet

I had an in-depth dream that lasted half of the night at least. In it, I recall walking into a bathroom and seeing my brother-in-law in the shower. His body was covered so all I could see were his feet. But oddly he was wearing socks on them! I remember saying to his wife, “Does your husband always wear socks when he showers?”

This is the second time I have seen socked feet. The first time they were my own feet. Very peculiar!

The Goat Will Bite You

The last dream I had was the most concerning to me. In it my husband had invited a woman into our house. She was young and pretty with short, dark hair. She appeared to be in her mid-twenties and had the body of a supermodel. She stayed with us for a while and I remember being cautious about the situation.

My husband’s demeanor changed completely while she was there. He was very nice and courteous. The thing that bothered me was that he called her, “Darling” and “Sweetie” and other names that made me gag. I confronted him on it and he just laughed. I finally told him she had to go or he could get out permanently. I was not mad but irritated at him at letting this woman into our home.

At this point I went outside and saw that I was at my mom’s house. She has a large pool in the back yard and it was there in front of me nearly empty of water. Inside of it and climbing around was a small group of goats. I ran up to them yelling, “Get out of here!” I waved my hands at them and watched as some moved but none really got out of the pool. I felt sad at this; like a failure.

When I woke my first thought was about the goats and I was reminded of an OBE I had a very long time ago. I was told twice in the OBE, “The goat will bite you.” This OBE was so long ago it was on my old blog and I never could figure out it’s meaning. Now, here it is, in my face again.

Everything I read suggests that goats symbolize sexual desire and lechery. They can also symbolize bad judgement and gullibility. Could it be that that OBE so long ago could have been warning me of something about to happen this summer? I truly hope that I don’t become overcome with sexual desire. I am really no good at controlling myself in such situations.

Messages

I had a couple of messages come through. Prior to bed, and then again when waking, I received the message that I need to consider a blog change. This is not a new consideration – I started considering a change in May 2014. I stopped posting in my Blogger blog a while back and now feel it may be time to do so with this blog. It does not necessarily mean this blog will go away, my Blogger one is still active, just that I may need to create a new blog. This blog has so many posts and categories that it can be overwhelming and difficult to navigate. I also feel like I will be moving into a new type of writing – channeling perhaps? I am not sure. It just feels like this blog’s time is running out. Don’t worry, I will let you all know when it’s time for the change. 🙂

The other message was more direct and came early this morning. I heard, “Chapter 2” and saw a staircase above me indicating a total of 7 chapters. When I saw this, I remembered a dream I had in December, Chapter 1 of 7. I knew I had reached the next “chapter”. I then heard, “You will stop at 5.” I asked for clarification and heard that when I reached 5 I would be “whole” and ready. Ready for what? I don’t even want to know anymore. I hope it doesn’t have to do with the goat dream. LOL

 

 

 

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Luminous Beings

Yesterday proved to be another difficult day for me. Outwardly, I appeared fine and stable, but within I was struggling.

I slept hard and deep again, waking a few times in the night and quickly returning to sleep without incident. At 5:30am I was awakened by a dream that turned lucid very quickly. In it, I was listening to a small child singing a song. She appeared to be about 9 or 10 years old and had a white, luminous light surrounding her. Her words were ultimately what brought me out of my slumber.

She sang, “Hello to you with the pillow over your head, laying in bed.” lol

Awake but in the in-between, the entire night’s adventures were suddenly within my mind – dreams, conversations, and feelings. The dreams are full of symbolism but they are so long that I do not want to go into detail here. Instead I will focus on the important parts.

Train

I was lifted out of one dream scene into another by an unseen guide. We flew high above a green valley surrounded by rusty colored mesas and plateaus. I could see a train meandering along a track that went through the bottom of this valley. I knew this was my destination but I was just along for the ride.

Luminous Beings

I watched as the ground began to move. I could see a ball outlined below the surface. There was also a very high pitched sound that was all around. I can’t connect it to any sound I have ever heard but it was everywhere. It came from within rather than without and was like music but no music I have ever heard.

Then a luminous white orb about the size of a basketball emerged from the soil. I looked away it was so bright. When I looked back there was standing in front of me a small Being, very child-like in stature – the height of a 12 year old child. I could see him despite his brightness – he was extremely bright white with a light blue tinge to the outer areas of this brightness. He was human in shape and I could see his entire body from his head to toes. There were no distinct features other than his eyes, nose and mouth. The rest was just too bright. His face was human-like but more like a human with some kind of chromosome issue most similar to someone with Down’s Syndrome.

Then I saw 4 other orbs appear from the ground behind me. Each one became a small Being just like the first.

Messages

With all these memories came an understanding that I had been somewhere else with these bright Beings. They were so calming and continually sent love to me. It was the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt and I wanted badly to be with them – to leave this life and body and join with them. The entire time I communicated with these Beings my heart was so large inside my chest that it felt like it would burst. At the same time my crown and third eye were also buzzing.

I could feel the Beings around me and recognized them as very special. We conversed but most of their answers came as pure Knowingness. They explained that they are Timeless and have been on Earth since the beginning.

At this time I had a memory of seeing hundreds of luminous orbs rising up out of a vast, dark lake and several Beings inviting me to enter into this metal craft that was hovering a few feet off the ground. They said to me, “Leave your shoes. You wear new ones here.” I chose instead to wear my old shoes inside my new ones.

Several times they mentioned the Anasazi’s. I am not very familiar with this ancient group of people but from what I recall they completely disappeared and no one knows why or where they went. The answer I received was that some left while others stayed. The ones that left shifted into light bodies and ascended. The ones who stayed integrated with the Earth and I saw them underground. I heard, “There are scores of us across the planet. We are here to help. We are re-emerging.”

Of course I wondered why they were here with me. The answer I received was that they were helping me with my heart. This part is hard to describe because it is so intensely personal on so many levels. Even as I write this my heart is pulling.

Another memory surfaced then, one in which I was being presented with these tablets that appeared to have etched into them runes or symbols. Each tablet was perfectly square and each symbol was etched inside it’s own square. The symbols glowed and appeared to enlarge when I looked at them. 

They surrounded me with love and one said to me, “We will help you grieve.” I was hit with such an understanding of this that I began to cry. I was crying not only from the intense love I felt but from numerous other things that I am going through right now. I am being pulled with such intensity toward my group and I am struggling with the feeling. It is constant and was the source of the split feeling I had been feeling. The split feeling is gone and I don’t think it will return but the magnetic pull to leave is still very strong.

Of the many messages I received there was one that I have been getting on my own that they confirmed. This feeling to leave is only going to intensify. Now is not the time to act on it, though, as there are things I must resolve first. When the time comes to act I will Know. I was told, “You must become whole first.” The message about being whole has come to me before. Though I don’t fully understand it, I trust it. I don’t know how long it will take and a part of me is afraid of it happening.

It seems to me that these Beings magnified my heart space in a way that brought great clarity. They confirmed much of what I had been feeling yet at the same time intensified emotions that I have been avoiding. I carry with me a great loss and longing, like a part of me is missing but accessible – just not yet. When I contact the source of these feelings I feel like I am Home. It is similar to the feeling I got from the Beings. I want badly to reunite with them but cannot. No wonder I am so sad. 😦

 

 

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As You Like It

I had an odd feeling all day yesterday. It first began as a mild sadness that I quickly resolved by cleaning my entire house. When I clean it is like meditation and yesterday was no different. I quickly understood where my sadness originated from and so it dissipated somewhat. However, it left behind a strange feeling, one that I have had many times before. These feelings often indicate something is about to happen in my life. In other words, the feeling is a premonition of things to come; a warning.

It was late evening when understanding of what the premonition was about came to fruition. My husband and I had a long discussion about our marriage. It was a calm discussion with both of us confronting certain things that needed working on. I had little to say, though. The words just didn’t come and the conversation ended with my husband leaving, which is the opposite of what usually happens.

I went to bed feeling unsettled and oddly empty inside. I just could not contact any emotion and so felt something must be wrong with me. My Team was very difficult to contact and I noticed a distinct lack of the energy of my Companion. Where was he? I was told that he was within me. I accepted this and understood it to mean he is the closest ever to me right now. Is this a good thing? Bad thing? I don’t know for sure and when I settle in my heart space I feel only a warm solidness.

Dream: Rosalind

I asked for clarification prior to bed and was able to fall asleep easily centered in my heart space.

I found myself in my mom’s house standing by the fireplace with a man and young girl. I was fiddling with something at my feet and heard a noise on the fireplace mantel. I looked up and saw a small train on a track. I saw it go around once and then pressed the button to stop it. I remember being alarmed about the train, as if it was a bad omen.

I then looked at my feet and saw that a clock had fallen off the wall. I picked it up and checked to make sure it was not broken. It wasn’t and so I placed it back on the wall. I remember it was a grand clock with wood trim and that both hands were on the 12.

At this time the man and young girl were discussing a name to research. The name was Rosalind. I began to look up the name on a screen that just appeared in front of me. A long list of movies, plays and other connections to the name came up. I remember thinking there was no way I would ever find the Rosalind we were looking for. The man had found what he was looking for, though, and showed me his screen. I looked and saw the name written very largely. The man  and girl were very happy. I was confused and woke up.

Interpretation

When I awoke I still had the weird feeling I had the day before but this time it was accompanied by the sadness. I thought of the dream and wondered what it was about. My first thought was that the train was symbolic of the karma train I had previously dreamed about. The clock must represent time and the 12 is symbolic of letting go of the “old” and bringing in the “new”. But who was Rosalind?

I looked it up online and came up with two options. One is the character Rosalind in As You Like It. The other is Rosalind Franklin, a molecular biologist who “was responsible for much of the research and discovery work that led to the understanding of the structure of deoxyribonucleic acid, DNA.”

As far as I can tell by reading about the character and the person, Rosalind, it appears the major similarity is that both stepped outside the traditional role of women, taking on masculine-type roles in order to reach their goals. I don’t recall ever seeing the play, As You Like It, other than maybe the One Act Play version which I think I saw in high school while I was competing with my One Act Play group. Since my memory is rusty it may be time to watch the play and see this character in action. Maybe then my dream will make more sense.

Songs

When I woke I had two songs going through my head at different times. The first was Cold Play’s, The Scientist. The lyrics that were repeating through my head were, “Oh take me back to the start”.

The other song was Blank Space, specific lyrics, “I’ve got a blank space, baby, and I’ll write your name.”

Both songs don’t necessarily leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling.

 

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2005

I am re-posting this blog entry. I keep being drawn to read it over and over. Some of the experiences are so ingrained in my memory that I relive them when I read about them. All this happened in 2005 during the first part of my Dark Night.

Dayna's avatarLiving Life in Between

I have been reading my journal and am currently in 2005. All I can say is WOW what a crazy, eventful year!

Below you will find my experiences in timeline fashion. The experiences are color coded. Blue is astral projection/OBE, green is a guide encounter experience, red is kundalini. Black is for either ideas/concepts or for experiences that I do not know how to categorize.

January, 2005

29th – While wide awake I heard a voice singing in a foreign language in my head. When I focused on it, I could understand the words. It said:

As the sun turns a deep blood red,

And rivers rise high and flood the land,

The Earth as we know it will begin to fall,

And tears of sorrow you’ll understand.

February, 2005

7th – Astral. Consciously just “walked” out of my body. Heard velcro sound upon exit. I had a teacher who…

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Visiting Truth or Consequences

I slept like the dead last night. lol I always feel rejuvenated and energized after a night of astral projection, lucid dreaming, etc., but the night before last must have exhausted my physical body. That’s okay. I didn’t expect any intense journeying. My Team always gives me processing time – or usually anyway.

Dream: Visiting Truth or Consequences 

I had numerous dreams but won’t focus on them. I am hearing ever increasing from my Team that dreams “don’t matter”. This I am also hearing more and more about my past lives. “Focus on the past leaves a part of you there and you need all of You that you can get right now”. Good point!

I want to briefly go over a dream I had right before waking. In it, I was traveling along along a path with a crew of hardy-looking workers. They looked like miners, with suits and helmets the color of a golden yellow. I was the only woman.

When we arrived at the construction site I suddenly realized I had missed my destination. I asked one, “Did you pass through the town of Truth? It’s a very small town, hardly noticeable.”

He responded gruffly and with some confusion, “I don’t know ma’am.” I looked back down the path and saw the other crew members arriving. I looked at the site which resembled a very large factory of some sort with smoke rising out of tall chimneys.

I turned around and walked back, happy and skipping along like a child. I noticed that as I walked the narrow dirt path became a newly paved, asphalt road that spread for many lanes on either side of me. Yet I was the only one on it. I began to run-skip along the road, finding my travel very smooth and accelerated beyond normal human ability. I was skip-flying and it was fantastic.

I reached my destination and found myself jumping along an intricately wooden path. I was upside down but didn’t recognize it as such. I thought I was just on a strange road.

I jumped down to ground level and saw a man who was very, very good looking. He left and his secretary was there. I asked, “Is it just me or is he really, really hot?” She said,”Yeah, very hot.” I said, “I would hate to work for him! I wouldn’t get anything done!” With that, I got a complete overview of the man’s life then and there. It was like a dream within a dream. I saw he was a daddy of two little ones. I saw his wife as well and that she was not happy. He was completely dedicated, trying his best to fulfill his role. Very admirable.

The woman pointed to the ceiling at a pair of white tennis shoes and said, “Looks like you forgot your shoes up there.” I saw them and thought, “How did I do that?”

Then I was approached by another man who knew I was a certified teacher. He asked me if there was any way I would consider teaching 6th grade. He didn’t care what subject, he just needed a teacher and was willing to offer me anything I wanted. I told him I was unsure and needed to think about it. There was a feeling that they really needed my help and it was hard to resist.

Messages

When I woke I was very resistant. I knew what was being asked of me and was not willing to go there. One of my guides was attempting to get me to see why I should consider the option of returning to work. He kept asking me, “What do you plan on doing?” I kept staying, “I will stay at home and teach my kids. I don’t want to go back into the education system. It is horribly flawed.” He kept questioning me, and with each question came to me thoughts of what my future may hold – consequences of my different actions. I saw many paths – the path of staying home, the path of returning to work, the path of choosing a different career, etc. I saw how if I didn’t return to work that my certification would eventually expire. I thought of returning to school to get my LPC (I only have three classes remaining). All of the thoughts merged and created confusion. I said, “I don’t want to do any of it. I’m tired!”

I got up irritated and went down to have breakfast. My youngest came in to greet me and smiled up at me with such joy that it melted my heart. Such admiration and love – and all for me! In that moment all resistance melted away and I saw the message behind the dream and I knew what I needed to do.

Going With Truth

When I was being questioned this morning my resistance caused me to feel irritated. This is the “jagged” energy feeling of not being in the heart center. The consequences of which are initially irritation but the extreme can be extra “work” and taking a wrong path, one that is wrought with difficulty, sweat and tears (thus the construction crew I was with in my dream).

Resistance = Consequences

Once my resistance melted, I began to see a with new eyes and the idea of returning to work was no longer a bad idea. In fact, I felt completely open to it to the point of renewed interest. There was no doubt that I needed to return and work toward that return. I knew my next step was this. I had no doubt.

I began to try and think of why this route is coming up. Was it because I needed needed to bring in additional income? Was it to help a certain person? The questions increased until there was an interjection by my Team, a feeling of “let it be”. I had to Trust my truth. The reasons behind this new direction were inconsequential. To try and figure out “why” was pointless and a trap of the mind/Ego.

I have to trust my Truth.

There came to me the memory of how I was asked to leave my last job. I could see now why I had to leave. There was no way I could have gone through the spiritual acceleration in December while being at work. The past month required all my attention and much rest. Work would have complicated it. So simple, yet had I not listened to my heart and had the courage to follow it who knows might have happened.

The reasons we are led down certain paths are not necessarily the ones we think they are. There is a higher purpose for it and it’s always for the greater good.

Trust.

Truth or Consequences. We choose.

My Next Step

So now I am to focus on 3D. I let it slip over the last few months. Now I need to get back on track. Focus on my business, update my resume, be on the lookout for career opportunities. My intention now is to look for another school counseling position for the coming school year (Fall, 2016). This may or may not result in actually getting a job. I don’t really care if it does. My instructions are to be open to it, to prepare for it. OK. In the meanwhile I will put more effort into building my on-line business, which is doing well but could do better. I have been putting it off for too long.

3D things that are necessary. I have to live in two worlds. I can’t neglect one and expect the other to progress. Balance.

 

 

 

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Trust

After an exciting evening and early morning, I was finally able to fall asleep without crazy energy, visions and OBEs. I did still have some intense energy shooting through me which I soon found was easily calmed simply by focusing on my heart. I fell asleep centered in my heart.

Dream: Meteor Shower

I was in a parking lot at a college somewhere. It was very late at night and I had just finished reading a long email from someone who read my blog. The email was lengthy – at least four or five pages – and the man was from Germany and telling me his whole life story. I don’t remember his name now, but in the dream as I read the email I heard him speaking to me. He told me he was 44 years old, dark skinned and kept to himself and he was looking to work with others like himself living in one of four continents. I remember thinking he was a little too intense for me and laughing quietly to myself as I realized he was coming onto me.

At this point something caught my eye and I looked up and saw a massive meteor shower. Dozens of meteors streaked across the sky in a brilliant display of light. I was in awe. A young couple walked by and I pointed it out to them. They were a bit nervous as I was in the shadows and seemed to jump out at them. I just laughed and kept watching.

This was when a vivid image of a comet came into my mind. It was not part of the dream. It was just there and startled me awake.

Interpretation

When I awoke the comet vision was very much ingrained in my mind. On top of that, I was still feeling intense energy coursing through my body. This energy was similar to vibrations one feels when about to go OOB but more intense. I also had intense crown and third-eye activity along with some high heart and throat chakra buzzing.

I find the dream interesting because I feel I was actually talking to someone while in my dream. Could be he was an old friend or someone who astral projects or dream walks. Whoever he was, he was nice but a bit to the extreme. The energy was extremely intense and pushy but it was flattering.

Then I saw the meteor shower and the dream symbolism is that the dreamer is having romantic thoughts and/or idealistic notions. This just makes me laugh out loud, especially since I saw the brilliant comet right after. Comets indicate the dreamer needs to move on and free themselves from emotional and physical burdens. Touche!

Trust

It took me an entire day to write up as much as I could about my experiences last night and early this morning. There is more – so much more – but I am not sure telling it would help anyone or make much sense. Instead I will say that my Team came through with flying colors. Whatever they did for me during the night completely eradicated the “split” feeling I have been struggling with for the past five or six days. I have never been pushed to such an extreme in my life and really thought I was going to have to somehow just learn to live with what was happening to me. But when I woke this morning the split feeling was just….gone. I feel completely back to normal and freed from that inner hell. I had a marvelous day and have been feeling sublime. So wonderful!

In considering what exactly my Team did that shifted everything for me, I realized it had to do with Trust. That is it. So simple. I was in my heart space, but instead of just allowing the feelings and trusting their divine purpose, I ignored the knowingness and flat out went into fear. Somehow, through all my guided OOB lessons, I was shown how to trust the feelings and knowingness I found in my heart. So very, very important because in trusting the heart you trust that it will lead you exactly where you are suppose to be and that is the most freeing feeling ever.

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Hypnagogia and Guided Visions

After laying wide awake for some time, I finally pleaded to my guide for help. Amazingly, my mind slowed and I began to calm substantially within seconds of my request. I could not get comfortable on my side for some reason and so lay on my back and drifted into the in-between.

Hypnagogia and Guided Visions/Travel

I don’t know how long I was in-between before I began to notice what seemed like millions upon millions of tiny, green, opalescent bubbles in my vision. They were moving upward and made me think of being under water looking up at bubbles as they rose to the surface. I could feel my crown and third-eye wide open and felt subtle vibrations. Instantly alerted to being in the trance state, I did not react but waited calmly and observed. This is an usual reaction for me. Usually I get very excited and screw it all up!

As often happens when I become the observer, the bubbles dissipated and a white tunnel of light opened up in the center of my vision. I could feel my body buzzing and shifting and it occurred to me that I could exit my body, but I hesitated and chose not to. I felt I should just continue to observe.

In the tunnel I saw a plain white bedroom or studio apartment. If I focused too much on it, it would fade away, so I looked through it without focusing on any one thing. The tunnel expanded to fill my entire vision except for a sliver on either side. It was still circular and I watched as the picture inside began to move as if I were looking around with binoculars.

I watched the bedroom for a while, struggling to maintain my vision and perception. I managed pretty well because I was able to see the entire apartment. It was all draped in white and I wondered whose it was. I heard a response, “It’s yours”. The response did not surprise me. I am never alone in these kinds of experiences.

The Anunnaki

The visual of the apartment was then replaced by a spectacular view of outer space. In the center of my vision was a large, dull, metallic spacecraft. It was very tall and appeared to have multiple stories. I saw windows stacked one on top of the other. They were small and rectangular and circled the entire craft. The craft was round in the center with perhaps 8-10 circular levels that spun around at different rates. The entire body of the craft was shaped like a tall trapezoid, the bottom being longer and wider than the top.

After seeing the details of the spacecraft a woman appeared in front of my vision. She was very beautiful, with long hair that appeared white or golden in color. She had a band around her head at the temple that had an emblem on it that I cannot recall now. The band itself was golden in color and the emblem blue and green. She had human facial features but was definitely not all human. Her skin was grayer than ours and had a blue tinge to it. Her eyes were larger and slanted upward. The rest of her looked completely human. She was wearing a white jumpsuit of some kind with a blue belt and was holding a silver rod of some kind in her hand that was taller than her by about two feet.

She smiled at me and said “Anunnaki.” I could see her lips move so she was not just a picture. I then heard a light voice in my head that said, “We are headed your way.” This time her lips did not move.

Then the visual darkened substantially and I saw words fly across my vision. I heard the words as I read them, “Great Galactic War”.

That is when I saw  more spacecraft. There were more than I could count and they were moving. These were darker in color and had many long sections. They resembled a caterpillar. There were other ones that were faster that looked like rods. The biggest was so large I wondered what it could possibly be used for. I heard a male voice say something but I can’t recall it now other than hearing, “Dark”. My memory here is that they were also headed this way.

I did not react to any of these visions and so was questioned. “Do you not believe what we are telling you?” I said, “I don’t know. It’s so easy to assume it is just a dream or a movie in my head. It would be better if I had solid proof.” The response I got back was a feeling more than an audible answer. I don’t think they liked my answer. lol

Bathroom Horror 

The visions left and I was overcome with almost violent surges of energy. My whole body felt to be jumping and my heart began to pound in my chest. I knew this was a normal part of the deep trance state, so I just remained calm.

I began to hear noises that sounded to be right next to me. I ignored them. Unfortunately, my vision was still active and a new scene was opening up in front of me. I saw the inside of a bathroom, specifically the bathtub with a shower curtain pulled to the right. I could see a window above and the tiny white tiles of the surround. A woman was hiding behind the white shower curtain and I could see blood streaks on the curtain where her hand was holding it across her body. I heard her crying and saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Please don’t hurt me. I’m sorry….” This continued and was very, very loud. I felt as if I were right next to her in the scene and I did not want to be. Hearing her made me tense up and want to curl up in the fetal position. I identified with her. I felt that I was her.

I had past life memories pile one on top of the other and mentally called out to my guides to make it go away. Initially it did not let up and the moans from the woman continued. I was able to finally wrench myself away from the scene and open my eyes but my body was overcome with vibrations to the point that my teeth were chattering. I said to my guides, “That’s enough. I didn’t like that”.

I had difficulty going back to sleep after that. I felt I should have stayed with the scene of the woman and let it run its course. Instead, I panicked and pulled myself away from the scene. It is obvious to me that it was meant to remind me of my past lives, many of which I was beaten, raped and abused as a woman. I should have remained objective, but I couldn’t. Seems I got a tiny peek at what the next layer of the onion holds for me. 😦

 

 

by

You Have to Learn Sometime

When I woke from the extensive OBE/lucid dream experience, I was buzzing with energy and could not go to sleep. John was there to help me understand just exactly why he led me through such a strange experience.

Follow the Heart

I was reminded of when I would leave the OBE and return to the in-between and asked why this happened. I knew that it was because I tried to take sole control of the experience – to do things my way. I was only allowed to stay or return to the experience when I aligned myself with my heart. This part of the experience was lost to me until John began to talk with me about it. I had not even noticed the change in vibration that accompanied my instant pull from the OBE.

In the OBE I was very obviously not alone and had to share control with John. If I didn’t, if I shifted out of the heart, then I lost the experience. I love to be OOB and so it was like a slap on the wrist every time I would return to the in-between. The difference in vibration was very noticeable when I looked back on it. I felt out of alignment. The energy almost jagged, seeming to jump haphazardly. When in alignment the energy was smooth.

It was then that John asked me to consider how my energy felt in the physical when I was not in alignment with my heart. I had an “ah-ha” moment here because I saw it very clearly – felt it very clearly. When not in the heart the energy has the same jaggedness. I am also not allowed to continue smoothly on my path. I am slowed, delayed. It is the same except in the physical there is an emotional component that makes it more difficult. It is much, much harder in the physical.

Messages

This is what I wrote down at 1am this morning.

John: This is a journey you agreed to. Many contracts. (I see the contracts burning up. Pages of them. Piles of them). This journey is not for the faint of heart.

Me: It hurts.

John: That is evident. Ego wants to be in control; to be safe. Heart trusts, knows control is an illusion. It is all trust. Source. You are being pulled where you are suppose to go. The pull is stronger depending on necessity and contracts involved. If the pull is intensely strong then there is a lot at stake. More will come. You are Remembering.

Me: I don’t want more of this. I can’t take it!

John: You have to learn sometime.