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Kundalini Woes

The tiredness continues for me and is starting to get annoying. I am so over tired by the end of the day that things like too much noise or having to focus on someone talking just really annoys me. I feel like my mind and body are totally fried.

It doesn’t help that during sleep my mind is in overdrive. There are so many dreams going on that despite seeming to sleep deeply I wake feeling like I have been working all night long. Which I probably have been. Usually I would take Benadryl to help this issue but I have been advised to avoid it and stick to herbal supplementation. Valerian root can only do so much. I may have to try Melatonin tonight.

On top of endless dreams all night long, I keep being thrown into lucid dreams or OBEs (like yesterday’s) that result in major chakra explosions which wake me up. This is getting really tiring because 1. I don’t want it to happen and 2. it makes all of my lower chakras raw afterward. When I say “chakra explosions”, I don’t mean the Kundalini bliss kind, though they are directly linked to the Kundalini. I would much rather have the Kundalini bliss kind than what I am getting. lol This is very sexual and very out of the norm for me. I think the Kundalini has confused my body, either that or made it hyper-aware.

I suspect what is happening is major alignment work on my lower chakras because of the rawness in them afterward. The feeling is similar to how my body felt after giving birth. If you don’t know what this feels like, well I have nothing else to compare it to. It is like my insides ache all the way up to my diaphragm.

Honestly, right now I feel like I am being pursued by the Kundalini. It is relentless and I am so tired that I can do nothing about it. It is said that the Kundalini has it’s own mind and that resistance is futile. I find this to be true. Though I do not feel I am resisting, apparently a part of me is. This morning’s Kundalini-enforced “fling” is proof of this as I tried to leave and was persuaded to stay. And always I become very lucid, which makes it that much more uncomfortable.

I suspect the heightened lucidity is purposeful as well. It feels like a training exercise. Even in yesterday’s OBE I remember hearing a part of myself talking to me – like there is a part of me, a higher part, instructing me on how to react to this very physical energy. This morning’s dream (which woke me at 4:30 BTW) was similar. As I began to intentionally wake myself up to avoid the encounter I was reminded that I should stay and how to stay (refocus or in this case dampen my lucidity). And I listen to this instruction, which is a surprise to me!

Ultimately, I think these incidents are to prepare me for the next Kundalini event. I often prematurely end the Kundalini episodes. There was only one time the energy was allowed to complete and ever since I have woken up too soon. Either I feel overwhelmed, as in the last one, or I become too lucid too quickly and abort it. I don’t want to do this next time so I think I am practicing with the more physical version of the energy. I am sure many people would be happy to practice like this. Me, not so much. It makes me feel like a sex addict and throughout my day it continues to just nag at me. It makes me hate my body!

Now that I think of it, this rejection of the physical aspect could be why this is happening…..Sigh. Why can’t I just be normal??

 

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Chapter 7

I’ve been meaning to write about my recent chapter adventures but kept forgetting. So much has been going on that it slipped my mind. Sometime last week, actually around the 20th, I was told I had begun Chapter 7. Okay but what happened to Chapter 6? lol The last information I had received was that I was on Chapter 5.

Then today, Molly’s post reminded me that I was in Chapter 7. In it she referred to Adam’s post which I had read yesterday but never caught the analogy he presented about the layers of the light body, the 7th layer being the lid to the cup. And now in rereading Adam’s post I remember my guides telling me not long ago, “We will fill your cup“. Talk about synchronicity! Hahahah I’m blown away!

So what happened to Chapter 6? I have no clue. Obviously it was a short chapter. I entered Chapter 5 prior to going to Mt. Shasta so maybe when I returned is when Chapter 6 started? I was not told about it, so I can only speculate.

I just love it when my connection with others illuminates my path. Thanks Adam and Molly. 🙂

 

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OBE: Are You Hungry?

So what did you think of the massive download energy this weekend? Exhausting is the word I will use since I was flat out barely able to find any energy to function because of it. Saturday was the worst day but yesterday I woke up with it and kept lounging in bed unable to free myself from its grip. I felt tranquilized. lol I asked for a solution and was told to get outside, so I did and it did help.

I was forewarned about the energy stream, which I wrote about here. The entire weekend event began with a massive Kundalini rising episode, too. Way to start off the weekend, eh!?  🙂

The main reason for my posting here today is because I got a surprise OBE this morning. Yay, right? Um, not so much. lol But I also had many vivid dreams last night and three – yes three! – friends of mine were with me. Pretty rare for my dreams.

Dream: Missing My Son

I was in an airport with my friend Yvonne Perry and some others of our group who I cannot remember now. She was leading the group and I could see her blonde hair almost glowing. It was shoulder length, which it is not in real life. She said to us, “You better get ready, we leave in an hour. We had to move up the schedule.” I asked, “What time?” She said, “2:30.” I asked, “What time is it now?” I heard, “1:30.” I remember thinking to myself, “That is not enough time to get ready!”

Then we boarded the plane and found our seats. It reminded me of a plane from another dream – way bigger than any normal airplane with a domed central area. A flight attendant came to inquire about what we would like for lunch. He was a nice looking, young black man with smiling eyes. I liked him instantly. We had a brief conversation about what I could and could not eat. We joked about my braces and their limiting my eating of “good” food. LOL

At some point we arrived at our destination. Where that was, I don’t know. My friend Molly was talking with me about leaving behind her children. We were both leaving behind our children. I remember saying to her, “I just have to say goodbye one last time.” I was getting sad at this point and a feeling of grief was quickly becoming evident.

trainThen I saw a set of three tiny toy trains on the floor. One was brand new and bigger than the others. I knelt down and put them in a circle and said, “He loved his choo-choo’s.” Then I saw him there, playing with his trains – my youngest. He was so happy and babbling away as he played. I watched and felt huge waves of grief hit me. Wave upon wave upon wave. I said, “It is not that I am sad that he is gone. I am sad that I will never see him again.” With this it felt as if I had left him, not that he had left me. It was like I was Spirit looking back at those in my life who were still living. I was the ghost and they were the living. Yet in the dream it appeared that my son was a ghost.

I woke up sobbing so intensely I could not breathe. My Companion was with me and I saw/felt him holding my hand. The feeling coming from him was that he understood. There was also a strange feeling that the dream was preparing me to leave. I wondered why losing my son was affecting me so and heard, “He still needs you.” That made sense. I use to have the same reaction when my mother needed me. Once she didn’t, I had no problem detaching. I heard from my Companion, “We are in this together.”

Dream: Dogs and Popcorn

In this dream I was inside the garage of a house. I heard a noise and went outside. There was this massive black dog roaming around. I saw him and tentatively put out my hand. He sniffed it and then went back to pacing in front of the garage I had just come from. There was another little dog, too. They seemed to be on alert to something. I was able to pet the black dog a few times before I went back inside.

Inside my friend David was handing out bags of caramel popcorn to me and my children. My bag had already been opened and I said something about it. My middle son said, “I did that.” lol I remember being worried about the dogs coming in and closed the garage door really fast. I did not eat my popcorn but gave it to my daughter.

OBE: Are You Hungry?

This OBE actually happened between the two above dreams. I had woken up at 3:30 sobbing and so got up to get a snack and calm down.

The next thing I remember is hearing my children moving about the house. I knew it was way too early and remember mentally cursing my luck and wanting to yell at them. Then I thought, “It is likely just the noises off that go with the trance state. Just ignore it.”

So ignore it I did only to hear the noises of my children even more loudly. I could not stand it. They were up way too early! I got out of bed and opened the bedroom door, yelling at them, “Get back to bed! It’s too early for you to be up!” But when I opened the door I saw a kitchen table in front of me. What??

I knew instantly I was OOB. Oops! How did that happen? lol

I calmed down and went toward the table. All three of my children were sitting at the table. My daughter had my youngest in her lap. My middle son was sitting in a chair by himself.

I sat down in front of my son. For some reason I was very happy to be there with them. I looked at them and I guess because they were at the kitchen table I assumed they were hungry. I asked them, “Are you hungry??” My daughter nodded her head no, as did my youngest. My middle son didn’t answer.

This is when the OBE turned really weird. Ultimately, my root and heart chakras exploded to the point that I woke up wondering what the hell just happened.

Not only had I been duped into having this OBE (I had no intention whatsoever to go OOB) but it appears that I was being encouraged to released some sexual tension. LOL I will say that since the Kundalini episode Saturday I have been extremely sexually frustrated. In considering the question I asked my children – Are you hungry? – the answer was clear.

 

 

 

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Clearing a New Path

Another quick update on the goings-on in my life.

My husband just left for the next four days. His trip to Florida has been delayed by a month, though, so he will be here in July. I should be happy, but I’m not.

Many small, mostly insignificant life problems popping up. Mostly they have to do with my family and marriage. Finance is a big one but there are also incompatible viewpoints that continue to be made very obvious through life situations/decisions.

The more that happens, the more I am seeing in front of me the inevitable decision that must be made. The fork in the road is obvious. One fork has a sign that says 3D. The other has a sign that says 5D. The contrast is so apparent and the feelings associated with the upcoming decision that it makes me almost sick to think of having to make the decision.

When I shift into the 3D frame of mind I am devastated by what lies in front of me. I feel immediately dead inside. Sometimes I even feel sick to my stomach.”Reality” from this viewpoint is very depressing and my heart is not in it at all. I can see quite a distance in front of me and it is smooth sailing for the most part.

When I shift into the 5D frame of heart (hehe) there is hope; a revival of Self. I feel a warmth in my chest. Yet I cannot see very far in front of me. The path turns and is lost after only a few hundred yards.

For the past 10 months or so we forerunners have been traversing both worlds simultaneously. This has been very difficult because the two realities are so very different in so many ways. But we weren’t ready. Some of us still aren’t. I wonder if I am ready yet because I feel so very afraid of making the choice. Yet the longer I hesitate, the more dissonance there is between the two.

Lately I have been shifting back into denial mode. None of this is real. I am just being strung along by my guides. I will never be happy regardless of what path I choose. And so on and so forth. My guidance goes completely silent when I enter this mode. When I begin to pull myself out of it, they return, arms folded across their chests and say, “Are you done now?” LOL

Their message today was this: “Trust yourSelf. Trust your heart. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are clearing a new path. It won’t be easy.”  And at this point I saw very clear in my mind the word, “Forerunner.”

No, it’s not easy. I need a weedwacker or maybe a machete to clear the path ahead.

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More Dreams

Crazy night of dreams. Recording them for documentation purposes.

 Dream: First Day of School

I spent the majority of this dream preparing to go back to school. I was the adult version of myself but I was standing in my old bedroom in front of my mirror and my mother and grandmother were both present in the dream. My grandmother is deceased (passed May, 4, 2014).

My grandmother had laid out various shirts, pants, skirts, etc and my room appeared to be a mess of clothing and in total disarray. My mom and grandmother were fussing over me and I was indecisive and could not figure out what I wanted to wear.

I finally decided on a white, form fitting shirt and a denim skirt. The shirt was semi-see-through and I was able to see the outline of my bra through it. The skirt was shorter than I liked and when I bent over it revealed more than it should. lol I remember asking my mom to look and see if the skirt passed the test and she said it almost didn’t. Then I was inspecting my shirt. It bothered me that my bra was showing and it was obvious the bra was too big as it was bunching up around my arm pits. I felt very concerned about how I looked. It appeared as if my body got wider the more I looked and the word “fat” popped into my head more than once. I then spent some time choosing the right shoes. I selected a nice pair of sandals but wanted to wear white socks with them. Ultimately, I went without the socks because it really looked dorky. lol

I heard a noise indicating the bus and when I looked at the clock it read 7:15. I knew I had missed the bus but was not worried. My mom would drive me. I remember thinking about how it would be to return to school – how uncomfortable I would feel to be judged by others for the way I looked. I decided I didn’t care.

Dream: Blood Test

I was sitting on the examining table at the doctor’s office. Blood test results were being reviewed. The results indicated that my PEP was low. The nurse discussed this with me. She asked me if I knew what PEP was. I nodded that I wasn’t sure. I said, “Am I pregnant?” She said, “No.” I remember wishing I were pregnant because I preferred being pregnant again to whatever I was about to be told. The nurse explained that the blood test indicated that one of my internal organs had broken through the protective outer layer of another organ. It reminded me of a hernia when I saw the picture she provided, but that was not what it was. She showed me the liver and said it was most likely that my problem was related to the liver being compromised. Nothing she said really made much sense to me.

Then it was like time had passed and I was being shown the lower part of my body, where my ovaries and uterus are. A specific section was highlighted that appeared to be right about where my root chakra would be. I remember asking if I would need a hysterectomy and wishing they would just get it over with already because I was tired of having to deal with this issue.

Lucid Dream: Flooding in San Mateo 

I was listening to a news broadcast while discussing what had just occurred. The news broadcast indicated that there had been massive flooding in San Mateo and hundreds were missing and/or displaced. There was also a death count. I became lucid during this part of the dream and actually saw scenes of the destruction, specifically images of a shelter where people were being sent.

The other news broadcast interrupted and suddenly the name of another town became very apparent. I heard Alvaredo this time and this confused me and brought me to full awareness and I woke up. When I woke up, I had a vision of myself jumping feet first into a raging waterfall. This was not the pretty, cascading waterfalls one usually sees indicating serenity. This was a raging, turbulent waterfall.

Considerations

The first dream seems to be about my shifting into a new phase of my journey. There are preparations being made and I am struggling to feel comfortable with mySelf. Self-criticism is one of the barriers I am facing.

The next dream seems to indicate that I am trying to heal specific areas in my life. The PEP portion makes me laugh out loud. I mean really? PEP? I need to remedy my PEP problem? LOL So true! The fact that I prefer to be pregnant again to whatever it is I am being told is a huge indicator. There is no way in hell that I would want to be pregnant again. hahaha The areas of issue are the third chakra and root chakra is seems.

The last dream seems to be more an indicator of emotional upheaval than anything. I have had the waterfall in both visions and dreams since May. For a time in May it was even frozen. So I guess now that it is all flooded I am deciding to jump in and get it over with. Not sure if this is a good thing or not. lol

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Dream: Healing Others

I was standing in a busy area that resembled the inside of a mall of some sort. A very old gentleman was wheeled up to me. He had to be 80+ years old. He had layers of blankets on him and was smiling at me. He said, “Don’t tell me – I’m about to die, right?” lol I looked him up and down and laughed at his comment, but was still quite serious about what I was doing. I was scanning his aura and looking “inside” his physical body. I was looking inside for “markers” which indicated future issues.

Straight to business, I told him to watch his back and gave him suggestions on how to handle it when it gave him problems. I gave him other suggestions as well but overall there was little he could do to change what was to come. He was old.

When he was wheeled off, a younger woman dressed in a white gown was brought up to me on a gurney. She was awake but her color was off and it was obvious she had either just had surgery or was about to. I only now recall that she had blondish-gray shoulder length hair and appeared to be in her mid-fifties to early sixties.

Again, I scanned her aura checking for inconsistencies and looked for markers. I gave her information in the dream, but now it is lost to me. I suspect this is because she is a real person somewhere out there and it is nobody’s business but hers.

I then followed a hallway into an apartment. While I was walking, I passed by a large, open space but specifics are lost to me. However, the feeling is that it was some kind of waiting area and was full of souls whose bodies were ill or physically deteriorating or who had already crossed over. Personally, I felt very accomplished and pleased with my work there as a healer.

I walked into a room which turned quickly into an apartment full of women. It was very obviously a part of some sort. A party of elementary school teachers. I felt very, very out of place and the first thing I thought was why my husband would invite so many people into our house. I tried to fit in with them; to mingle, because I knew this is what he would want. They were all doing a project. Each of them was creating signs for outside their classrooms and decorating them with decoupage and ribbons and bows. They were all so happy doing it. I felt like I was going to throw up. lol

My husband came up to me and pulled me aside. He congratulated me on doing so well at the party, happy that I was going to return to work. He then handed me a list but it looked very formal, like a contract. It was on golden colored paper and in calligraphy. He went over what was on the list and said, “And you cannot continue with the Kundalini. It has to stop. Will that be a problem?” I hesitated and he said, “Great!” I stopped him and said, “I can’t do that. I never said I would do that.” He got really serious and said, “Then I guess we have a problem.” I felt bad but at the same time I was unwilling to compromise. How dare he!

 

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Dream: Manna

Wanted to share the full version of this dream because it may have significance for later.

Dream: Manna

I was with a group of individuals, approximately three others, maybe more. I remember we were introducing ourselves to one another. All I recall now was that a woman said she was from Georgia.

We had a guide or leader who was male. The scene was somewhere in the deep South. The mood was nervousness mixed with concern for being caught.

We were keeping to the shadows, our guide leading the way. There was an abandoned house of some sort. It reminded me of an old gristmill. Our leader told us it was empty so we entered cautiously. It was decided we would stay the night there and leave in the morning.

I was afraid and sought out a hiding place inside the building. The worry was that some bands of raiders would find us and either kill us or take all of our food. While I was looking for my hiding place, our guide reassured me that there was nothing to fear. He seemed to give me a lesson during this time and a full history of what led to the circumstances we found ourselves in.

Some kind of major event had occurred and the current state was that all resources were limited. Water was scarce and those in power had taken over all remaining sources, restricting it even more and causing people to panic and resort to whatever means possible in order to obtain it. Food was also limited, but the main focus of the population was on obtaining water. I remember the guide explaining that the restriction of resources was purposeful, the intent was to have power over others. The lack was an illusion. There was plenty to go around, but the population was kept in ignorance. There was also discussion about the “natural order” of things. That Mother Earth was out of balance and had people allowed her to remain in balance none of this would be happening. The outcome was that people would suffer loss above and beyond what would have been the case had balance remained. The feeling here was that rather than lose a child or two to disease or a family member to illness, now entire communities would be lost. It would be seen as a devastating blow by humanity.

Someone was spotted outside the building and our leader reminded us to remain calm. A group of thugs entered bearing weapons. Their intent was obvious – take whatever they could and kill anyone who resisted.

When I tried to withdraw, our leader put out his hand, indicating that I should stay where I was. He then reminded us that there was no lack, that we were willing to share whatever we had. He made sure the men heard him, too. I remember being shocked as he went toward one of the armed men and offered him food. The man was shocked as well and put down his gun.

Our leader then told the men that we could create our own food. He spread out his arms and from the sky seemed to materialize tiny, square pieces of what appeared to be bread. He said there was plenty, enough for all. Each of us had a square of this food in the palms of our hands that seems to materialize out of thin air. It was known that one square was enough to feed a person for an entire day.

Then our leader taught us of the importance of the group; how we must gather together for the survival of mankind. If we didn’t, if we remained focused on our individual wants/needs and if we continued to allow fear to rule our hearts, then mankind would most definitely perish. There was a sense that this kind of group cohesion was so strong that any one of us would be willing to sacrifice our lives for the group. This is not to be confused with a kamikaze or suicide bomber type mentality. Instead, it is a willingness to offer ourselves up where we are most needed, even if that need may mean that we lose our physical body so that another may keep his.

Visitor

When I awoke from this dream there was to my left a Being who has in the past visited me. His energy felt like that of the Lord Commander Sananda, but I did not ask as it really made no difference who he was. What mattered was that he was there and had given me an important message for mankind. I knew immediately that he had come to reiterate the messages given in the dream. The part that hit home the most was the part about being provided for, specifically the food which seemed to fall from the sky. I immediately called this food “manna” and understood that it would be provided to us. My thought was that it would indeed come from “the sky” as a gift from those who have been watching over us; those who are here to ensure the survival of our species.

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Fly Away

There is a particular past life memory that is revisiting me this morning. Mainly it is because a song is on my mind – I’ll Fly Away.

Sometimes there are past life memories that come up and are so beautiful that the memory reaches across lifetimes and brings tears of joy. This is one of those memories. It also just happens to be a memory of my own death.

This was from my most recent full-life. I say full because the life previous to this one was cut short when I was still a very young boy. In this particular life, I died in 1963 from Hepatitis, which I inadvertently contracted from contact with a dirty needle. I was a nurse in that lifetime so dirty needles were an everyday occurrence. Unfortunately, accidents happen.

This particular memory was from my deathbed. I was in the hospital, hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires. The memory is from outside of my body because I had been unconscious for some time. My liver had failed and so it was just a waiting game from that point on. My two children came to visit me that day because they had been told my death was imminent. They were both grown. A son and a daughter. I believe there were others with them, but in the memory they were who I focused on.

I was a black woman who grew up in the South (Mississippi) and relied heavily on my relationship with God to get me through. My church and my brothers and sisters in Christ were my salvation more times than I could count. Singing was also interwoven into every aspect of my life. So it is no surprise that music followed me out of that lifetime.

As I was leaving to go into the Light, my children along with the others who were gathered at my bedside, sang I’ll Fly Away and other songs to send me off to heaven. Though they were sad and grieving heavily there was also joy present. And love. So much love. The feeling with this memory and this song was jubilation. I was going Home.

The memory was devoid of pain. Though my body was falling apart, slowly dying from the inside out, I had no pain. I was in a perfect bubble of peace, completely unconcerned for my physical body and my approaching death. All my focus was on my beautiful children who I was so very proud of and the feeling was that I had done a good job and could leave them without worry. I don’t remember my guides or any angels being present. I don’t remember seeing a tunnel of light or having any of those profound experiences so many NDE accounts speak of. Yet I knew that when I turned around and left, that I would be embraced by my waiting family. I could feel them all around me. That was the bubble of peace. They were my peace.

So you can see why this memory is cherished by me even in this lifetime. Recalling it helped me understand that death is a celebration, an event of homecoming. A new beginning. If I could give one gift to those living on Earth, it would be a similar memory of their own death (homecoming). Then there would be no reason to grieve the passing of a loved one or to fear their own passing. Death, in my opinion, is probably the most beautiful part of living.

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Upgrade Time

At least for me. It is going on a week (more?) but the last two days and nights have been over the top. The energy itself is bearable. It is the information with the download that is overloading my system. I am soooooo tired right now. If I could put on the brakes I would, but apparently the only options available to me are accelerate or neutral. Neutral it is. Not interested in accelerating this right now. My mind is fried. My body hurts (back mainly). My eyes can’t focus well. I’m not hungry. My motivation is nonexistent.

This is affecting my family, too. Last night my husband laid on the floor next to me and said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I had an awfully unproductive weekend (insert multiple examples here). Can’t you do something to help? Do I have to ask you for help?” There I am laying in a similar unmotivated fashion thinking, huh? I told him, “First off, your mom went into the hospital. That was your main focus. Second, how am I suppose to motivate you? I can’t even motivate myself!” lol This morning he was saying the same stuff. At 6am! I told him, “You don’t have to be doing all the time. Maybe you just need to not do, feel the feelings you are having, then maybe you will know what’s really going on. Have you thought of that? Maybe you should relax?” He said, “Relaxing for me is doing something productive, like a project.” I told him, “Sounds like you need to give yourself permission to not do. Change your definition of relax.” Then I invited him to come to my mom’s with me and the kids this afternoon (so he could relax lol). He hesitated and said, “Sorry, I have too much to do today.” He should have come with us. Sigh. Gemini’s. lol

My middle son is really struggling today, too. After about 30 minutes of swimming he fell asleep and now he is sleeping again! My mom thinks he is sick but he seems fine. He is just plain exhausted. Me, too!!!

I stayed in the pool probably 2 hours. I didn’t want to get out. Then, when I did get out, I felt so heavy and tired. Afterward, the drive home was tough. I was struggling not to go OOB on the highway. The highway seems to do that to me a lot these days. I see the rows of cars, hear my music playing, and begin to lose focus. It all gets very dream-like and unreal. Sometimes I see the highway like a tunnel or feel like my car is me flying (really cool). I have to tell myself over and over, “Focus.” Thankfully, I don’t stress out or anything. And no, this happens even when I am not tired. Today I had to focus a bit harder than usual.

And the downloads coming in, well, I will just call it a “building up”. My guidance tells me we are approaching an embodiment phase. Lots of us are about to receive a massive download called our Higher Self. Ready? Me, too.

Edit: I just learned that Neptune went retrograde this evening. Since Neptune is pretty much the planet that propelled me into this spiritual journey I am on, this must be significant for me, especially considering I am entering into another spiritual upswing as mentioned in my forecast.

 

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Guide Initiated OBEs

Have I told you lately just how much I love OBEs? Or how much I adore my guides? Well if not, I just did. My Team is awesome, even if they do laugh at me sometimes.

The night was eventful but I will start after I woke at 3:00am to one of my guides trying to get me to talk about following my heart and being my true Self. I was too tired to talk and so tried to ignore him. That didn’t work. Obviously.

OBE 1: Someone’s Behind Me

I had been in a lucid dream before I woke up in the dream and took over. The reason I woke up in the dream was because I heard someone talking to me and also because when I walked back through a normal size door, it shrunk to the size of a dog door and I barely squeezed through.

I could hear my guide and though I don’t recall what we were discussing there is memory here of going outside of the school I had been in. When we went outside it was a beautiful night and the stars were so brilliant that I was stunned by them. I remember seeing a city sprawled out in front of me. It was reminiscent of something out of a story book with older buildings and narrow streets of cobblestone. I remember there was a clock tower and a bridge.

I recall on of my children being with me temporarily during this OBE. I was showing them how to fly but at one point I remember making the decision to leave them behind. This, I feel, is significant for me. Usually, if one of my children is in my OBE, I make sure to bring them with me. When I made the choice to leave my child behind, the presence of my guide became very apparent.

At some point I became so absolutely joy-filled from the experience that I remember completely surrendering to my guide. With that, I felt myself going up towards the stars and then I floated there for a while, immersed in their brilliant light and taking in the scenery of the city from a position high above it. I felt someone gently nudging me forward so I felt around – behind me, on both sides – no one. Yet I knew he was there. I felt him nudge me! Then I began to move up, up, up and I thought, “I’m going to go into space.” I was all for it, but then I was held back by invisible hands. With that, my vision began to darken and I felt myself come into my sleeping body.

My main memories of this OBE are the feeling and the clarity of my vision. Both were spectacular.

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OBE: Here I Am

When I felt my body all I wanted to do was return to sleep. There was no desire to be OOB and I didn’t care what happened, I was going to sleep. Yet it appears that was not up to me because the next thing I remember is being with a tall, slender, dark haired man inside a small room with children.

The children were my main focus as was the room. It was small, with a brightly colored sofa in the middle, a kitchen sink behind the sofa, brightly colored pictures on the walls, and toys and stuffed animals all around. I sat on the sofa with the man, who I did not really notice right away because I was talking to the children. We were talking about the things in the room, but I forget most of this part now. I recall one time seeing a small tea cup (child-sized) full of milk and pouring it down the sink whose drain had been tiled in beautiful mosaics. That was how the entire room was – mosaics, patterns, and geometric shapes in brilliant colors covered everything.

There is fuzzy memory here of practicing manifesting. I would create things, watch them appear, and then show the children. At one point, I went inside this section of the room and there were animals of all sizes piled in the corner. They had been mounted/stuffed by a taxidermist. While we watched, the animals came to life and suddenly all of them came running toward us. Thankfully, they were all small – rodents, squirrels, rabbits, otters and weasels. A mink crawled on me and I remember laughing because I could feel it’s tiny claws on my skin. There was no fear at all.

Then I was sitting on the sofa talking to a man. I didn’t question it at first. It was something I did all the time in body and out, so why would I? Then the man was laying on top of me, completely naked. He was facing up and I could feel his bare skin and see all of him except his face. I hugged him to me, feeling his warmth. His skin tone was darker than mine, sort of tan/golden and he was very thin and wiry/muscular. At this point it was like we switched places, back and forth. One minute I was looking at him and the next I as looking at myself in this body. I kept seeing my breasts and they were sagging and wrinkled like those of a woman much older than me. I wasn’t completely horrified but I remember not wanting to see it. lol

While I am seeing and experiencing this, we are talking. He says to me about my reaction to him, “You are not like the others.” I said, “Really?” The rest of the message came in a feeling/knowing – that the others reacted sexually or took the experience very seriously without recognizing him or the dream. This got me thinking, “What others? Oh, wait he must be my guide.” He confirmed and said, “I’m your guide.” Then I asked, “What do you call me, then?” He said, “You are my assignment.” That made sense and I completely accepted it and went back to feeling completely happy and joyful. It was like I was with an old friend hanging out.

There was in front of us a large television, one of those massive big screened ones. My guide encouraged me to inspect it and I touched it and the screen shimmered. I thought, “Portal” and so tried to go into it. I couldn’t. What? Then I was holding a cell phone and texting a message which was quickly edited by my guide. I don’t recall the message now but I know who it was to.

After some more talking, I remember wondering about his name and hearing, “Why don’t you ask me?” I remember thinking back, “I don’t care what your name is. You have many names, remember?” lol But I knew he wanted me to call him Tom, Major Tom, as in the song by David Bowie. Always a teachable moment with my guides. 🙂

I came back into my body at this point. My energy settled indicating I was not going back out. I wondered why  because at this point I was having fun and he said, “You need to remember”. I tried to remember but many points were fuzzy and he sent a “See, told you. The memories are fading” type of feeling to me. I remembered meeting him and laughed about it because he was butt naked. Then he reminded me of what he said and said, “You did not respond sexually, why?” I thought about it and said, “I’m not interested in that with you.” Then I thought about my counterpart and my heart lit up and he said, “Ah, yes, you are interested in him.” Then it was back to why he initiated the OBE in the first place, which I will save for another post – maybe. I think I may keep that to myself for now. 🙂