Category Archives: Ascension

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Listen to Your Heart

Listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do.
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

This song was in my head when I woke up this morning. The song was released 1988, the year that came up in my dream. I have not heard this song in longer than I can remember. Yet I heard the music and chorus as I woke.

PUSH

Ever since yesterday I have been seemingly followed by an entourage in Spirit. The energy around me is sky high and I am struggling to stay present in this reality. I manage but it has been difficult, especially at night.

There are so many components to this that it is difficult to explain. I feel as if I am being pushed out of my current life in order to start a new one. It is like I am suppose to want to do this and it is obvious to me that a part of me does. Yet I feel unable to act. I feel very much a struggle between two Me’s. The message is to stay centered in my heart but that seems to be the source of the push and it gets incredibly strong if I stay there too long. And if I don’t stay there my head starts to hurt and I feel split in two and near panic. Then the energy is so intense and my guidance so persistent….I don’t know what to do.

Every day the part of me that is attached to this life is being worn down. I feel her losing her ground and I don’t know if I can stop it.

Intense Desire

On top of the continual push to change I have started to have intense sexual urges arise out of nowhere. I feel about ready to explode with sexual energy to the point that it is starting to come out in my dreams. This is crazy out of the ordinary for me. I feel like I did when I was a teenager in love. Way out of control! Thankfully I am so busy with life that it has not bothered me much. Plus, it is kind of nice. 🙂

Completely Open

As if the push to change and the intense desire is not enough, I am wide open to Spirit communication, especially in the early morning and evening hours. This morning I had to actually put up a bubble of protection around me and ask for all in spirit who were not part of my Team to be blocked. It helped, thankfully, but I have not had to do that in ages.

I had many odd message sneak through this morning. For example, I had a complete conversation with someone wanting to pass on a message to Josh Long. Another one come through unexpectedly who said, “I knew you when you were four years old and a fish”. This came out of the blue and startled me at first. “Fish??” I thought. After I had gotten over the message and stopped taking it literally, I laughed about it. When I was little I was in our swimming pool all day long in the warmer months. I was called a “fish” all the time by my parents and their friends because I was always in the water. Hahaha! I don’t know who it was in Spirit who came through but they brought back good memories for me. 🙂

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Through the Porticus

When I awoke this morning at 5am I was wide awake but I did not want to be. Upset, I immediately pleaded with my Companion to allow me to return to sleep and astral project. I was told very sternly, “No”. 😦

As I lay there I felt disappointed because it seemed my instructions from the night were to go about my normal, day-to-day life. To expect no further noticeable adjustments for some time. It was time for rest.

I didn’t like hearing this and began to try and figure out what I would do with myself during this rest period. I was interrupted mid-thought with the message, “What does your heart tell you?” So I settled in there, knowing already what I would find – an intense urge to drop everything and leave. Finding exactly that, I yelled at my Companion, “Every time I go there I want to leave!  I don’t want to leave!”

Somehow I managed to return to sleep. I suspect I was lulled to sleep since the last thing I remember was being told to focus on my heart again.

Dream: Symbols Game

I found myself inside a large, warehouse-like place with various concrete walled rooms. I was with some people I know in real life who I never would have met had I not been married to my husband. I don’t much like most of them so you can imagine how the dream went. lol

Eventually, after following these people around for a while I got upset and told them I was going to go to the gym to workout. In fact, working out was all I could think about the whole time. They kept trying to keep me from doing that, though. Eventually, I turned to leave one last time and noticed there was a fresh wound on my left calf. I recalled instantly that the woman I was talking to had cut a design into my leg with a knife. I got upset with her for it but was confused as to why she had carved a strange symbol into my leg.

The next thing I recall was sitting at a table in my own living room. There were three women with me and one was holding a book and giving instructions on how to use it. She passed out small, cards about 2×2 inches square. Each card had a symbol on it. The game we were to play was about choosing an option to take with our significant other. She instructed us to choose between two, but all I recall now is hearing her mention they were called “do” cards which I interpreted as decision cards. The one that stood out to me looked like the Aum symbol. All of them resembled familiar symbols I have seen associated with yoga.

At that point I had had enough. I stood up and left. I refused to play their game.

aum

Through the Porticus

This is when it got weird.

I was transported instantly to somewhere else. I was there with a massively large Being. He was about twice my height (at least 9ft) and we were hovering together inside a very large spacecraft. To my left was a huge window that was about four times my height and domed. It came up and over the tops of our heads. To my right was all gray metal. I could not make out much because my entire attention was held by this tall Being I was with.

I couldn’t figure out how I had gotten there so was confused and had many questions. However, I could not ask them. It was like they were withheld from me; like I had a powerful energy or force stopping their formation. I was completely speechless/thoughtless.

My main emotion was nervousness. I felt like I had done something wrong and was being reprimanded. This was all I felt while I was in the presence of this Being. Yet he was not scary, just commanding. I had great respect and reverence for him, very much like a small child has for a parent.

Now for the Being. I have never seen anything like him. I saw his entire body from head to toe. He was wearing a very strange uniform, or maybe costume is a better word. It reminded me of a Genie suit – puffy arms and legs that tapered down around the hands and feet. The color was a bright blue and there was an accent color that I can’t remember now. What was very distinct was the huge collar that came up around the face of this Being. It was white and stood straight up and seemed almost to act as a shield to the face. In fact, I had trouble seeing the Being’s face because of it. But I did see it.

The face looked human but with shimmery skin, like he was reflective but that is not quite right. He was strangely foreign looking in a way that is difficult to describe. Elf-like is the closest I can come to a match. He had vividly blue eyes and white-blonde hair that was pulled up into a tight ponytail that was centered on the top of his head. His hair was longer than mine!

He was beautiful.

I was still nervous, though. He was reminding me of why I came here and to “stay focused”. I had been dilly-dallying, “not paying attention” and allowing Earth-activities to “distract me”.

He pointed out the large window, which he called a “porticus”. There was a planet below us that resembled Earth. It was massive and bright and so beautiful. I also saw millions of stars twinkling around us. There was no doubt we were in space.

He instructed me to go through the porticus, but I don’t remember hearing any words. It was like I just knew this is where I was to go. He came with me and we just went through what I thought was a solid window. He told me to allow the planet to pull me toward it. It was not gravity that he called it but something else, something akin to an energy field.

As we descended I saw these strange satellites that had what resembled cameras on the end. These cameras tracked us as we got closer. I saw at least three and they looked like something from a Sci-Fi film – robot-like, dark metal with large, dark, shiny “eyes” or lenses at the end of a long central arm. I remember asking about them and being told they would alert those on the ground to our approach. I assumed this meant they were some kind of early detection system. But were these around Earth??

I then heard a loud ringing sound and figured it was one of the devices sending the alert. I saw the one closest to use turn its eye toward the planet prior to hearing the sound. I have never heard anything like it. There is nothing to compare it to.

Then I was on the ground standing next to the Being but he was now just a little taller than me. Did I grow or did he shrink? He was also wearing different clothing – a white tunic with gold embroidered trim. He was almost all white and the tunic flowed down to his knees. And I Remembered him then! I saw him in an OBE!!

We descended a long stairway. My memory of this place screams to me that we were not on Earth. No way! Or else we were in another Earth, one not of this dimension and time. The sky was blue and it very much resembled Earth but where we were was fantastically grand. The steps we descended were white and spread for hundreds of yards on either side of us. The place we came out of, though it was behind me, was like a grand temple with massive columns reminiscent of Greece.

At the bottom of the stairs we stopped and he stood in front of me. A woman with dark hair just appeared to my right. She seemed to materialize. I have no idea where she came from but I knew who she was and we greeted one another telepathically. The Being who was with me could not communicate with her, though. It was like there was a block and I understood that she could not see him either.  So he asked me to relay messages between us. I didn’t understand this but did as I was asked. She was reporting back to me but I don’t remember what she said now, just that we were exchanging information from our separate journeys.

shipMessages

I woke with a start completely confused and demanding to know what I just experienced.

“That was not a dream! I was dreaming and then I wasn’t! And who….what the hell are you!??” (lol I laugh now because I was completely not expecting what had happened). My memory of the Being was muddled. I remember him looking very, very alien and distorted which confused me.

Then came the massively HUGE energy and I heard again, “Lord Commander Sananda”. I was not wanting to hear that, but he kept sending that and so what could I do but accept it?

Then I wanted to know what he was – was he human? Was he Andromedan? Pleiadian? I got no response other than him asking me, “How did you feel?” What?

So I settled into my heart and the memory of what had just happened and knew he was who he said he was and that I had just “checked-in” at his request because of my refusal to accept the memory of who I am and why I am here. Ha! You try and do this, you would be resistant, too!

I knew the Being I saw was Pleiadian in appearance. I also knew the planet we visited was not Earth. It was spectacular! Also, he was wearing a space suit of some kind. There was something over his face that was nearly imperceptible. Like a shield or helmet that was invisible.

Then he just kept talking to me.

“You cannot project. You must remain anchored.” To this I responded that I did not want to stay here. He explained, “This is the most difficult aspect of Remembering. The more you Remember, the less you want to stay. But you must remain.” No kidding!

With this message was a feeling of mild irritation on his part. I understood that he had been working with others facing the same dilemma. We live life after life in Forgetfulness and the more we Remember the less we want to stay because we know we are not Home and want to return there. Then there is the massive contrast between Earth life/energy and what we Remember. Who would want to stay? Not me!

He then told me, “Our fleet is positioned near the sun but will be moving towards Earth at a rate of …” I go blank here. What he said just did not register in my brain. I saw an image of the sun and this tiny spot that was literally so close that it looked like a part of the sun.

I asked, “I thought you were in Saturn’s rings?” He said, “That is another fleet”.

He then requested that I relay this information to others. He emphasized that I include his name – Lord Commander Sananda.

My Reaction

This is beyond bizarre to me. The experience I had of being off planet was/is the strangest to digest. I was in a dream and then I just wasn’t. When I woke it felt like the experience was just placed there. Like someone put it there but then it was so real! I just keep trying to put it together and my brain can’t do it. There is no explanation!

And Sananda, or whoever he is…holy shit he is amazing! Somewhat intimidating but amazing nonetheless. His face shimmered! Oh and he had this symbol between his eyes, where the third-eye is. It was silvery-white and looked like a diamond and had dotted lines outlining it!

 

 

 

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Holy Spirit – Heart Bliss

Today I went to visit my mom, step-father, sister and nephew. I usually go once a week but since the Christmas holidays I have not gone in two weeks. I missed it!

An interesting thing happened that I wanted to share with you all. My Mom, who has been a member of the Church of Christ all her life, came up to me and said, “I want to tell you something that you may think is creepy.” I said, “I don’t know if I want to know now.” She continued anyway.

She told me about her morning routine. She said, “Every morning when I wake up I come in here and do some gentle yoga stretches. Then I sit quietly for a while and ask for the Holy Spirit to come into me.” She showed how she stands facing the window and puts both her arms into the air to accept the Holy Spirit.

“Well, it does and it feels amazing! The first time it happened I started crying and it stopped. I find if I cry it always stops. But I was told by a woman at church to not resist it so I began to just ask for it to come into me. And it comes every time I ask”.

I congratulated her on her experience and she went on. “I have to tell you, though, it feels really, really good. Like orgasmic.” She giggled here and was a bit ashamed. I said to her, “Yes, but not sexual.” And she said, “Right” and nodded. I asked her, “Does it come in through here (I touched her back at her heart space) and then spread out all across your body?” She nodded, “Yes!” I asked her, “Does it make you just want to melt into the chair?” She said, “Yes, every time”. I told her, “I have felt that for a long time. I call it heart bliss”. She said, “Well I call it the Holy Spirit”. I said, “Same thing to me.”

My mom was so relieved after this that she began to talk to me about her bible studies and the book of Genesis. She told me she doesn’t like reading Genesis. She said, “It just doesn’t make sense to me. There has to be a whole lot of the story missing. For example, when Cain goes to the land of Nod to get married, how could he do that if Adam and Eve were the first and only people? Yet there is obviously a whole other group of people in the land of Nod. I think there had to have been at least five or six Adam and Eve’s.”

I laughed and said, “You should watch Ancient Aliens.” She gave me a questioning look so I went on. “Some people think that the first humans were brought here from outer space – seeded. Some people think that God did the same on many other planets”.

She didn’t even go there. LOL Instead she went on to how she was reading the book of John at the same time as she was reading Genesis so she was reading one book from each testament. I just laugh at how my mom handles information she is not ready for. She didn’t even skip a beat! LOL

I love my mom and I so very pleased to hear that she is experiencing the heart bliss. She is a total believer of the bible and experiencing the very same heart energy that I and many others have experienced and are still experiencing right now. It just goes to show that no matter your belief system the changes happening on Earth are affecting everyone regardless of their beliefs.

My mom is truly blown away by what she is experiencing. For her, something as wonderful as the heart bliss (Holy Spirit) is a life-changing event. I can’t wait to see if it expands into something more and I know if it does I will be one of the first to know.

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The Pleiadian Conglomerate

I returned from a two-day family trip yesterday afternoon completely exhausted. As I suspected would happen, I was unable to sleep well in the hotel room. I am very sensitive to others’ energies when I sleep but I also experienced intense, high pitched ear ringing, a pounding heart and hot flashes that kept me awake most of the night.

So it was no surprise that I completely crashed last night. I slept so hard that when I woke at 5am I was still in the exact same position I had fallen asleep in! I hadn’t moved at all in the night. This is very out of character for me!

What is even stranger is that when I woke up I felt different – like not myself. I knew things, felt things, had a different sense of myself than I had prior to bed.

And I was not alone.

The Pleiadian Conglomerate 

The first thing I Remembered was a visiual of Earth from outer space. There was amassed just above Earth a group of spacecraft numbering 20. What is odd about the spacecraft is that though there were 20 separate craft they appeared as if blurred together, almost cloud-like except that I could see distinctly the edges of separate, silver discs amidst the conglomerate.

I knew these were the Pleiadians – the group from which I am seeded. I also knew there were other E.T. species with them – Andromedans most predominantly.

As I absorbed all this, there came from my left a representative of this conglomerate. I did not see him, but I recognized his energy. He brought with him a trigger of my memories. Like his presence triggered something in me. I knew this as well – I Remembered this.

I did not ask his name but instead just allowed myself to Receive. The group, which is also my group, that he came with he refers to as “The Many” and I understand to be composed of many races of E.T. lifeforms and multi-dimensional beings.

I want to also point out that the representative came to me from my left (his right) which is the area reserved for Spirit when I do mediumship readings. My Companion traditionally stays to my right and will move farther from me when communication via Spirit is initiated.

This representative has a very large energy and speaks for the others with him. He explained that he wanted me to transmit messages and reminded me of my agreement to be open to being a medium again. I have been visited by him before. In fact, he has visited several times since I agreed to be open to mediumship, I just didn’t know how to write about it until now as his energy is so big and what he says is so profound that I have been promptly pretending he never visited.

I heard from him the name ” I am the Lord and Commander Sananda”. I rejected this, of course, since this name is so frequently used by channels and I do not want such bias involved in my interactions with this entity.

Messages

#1 – “Your energy is anchored”.

#2 – “We are at war”. It was explained to me that there has been a “war” on-going pertaining to Earth. It is not a war in the traditional sense – there is no blood and death as those engage in this war are not limited to the physical. I was told the war has to do with humanity. I Remembered this as well, it was like an “ah-ha” moment. I was told as a result of the opposition, We have not been able to fully utilize the human body. I saw how We are unable to fully come into the body as We are meant to. The DNA structure is incomplete, broken, so we have no access. This is being corrected. Access is now being granted, at least in my case this is true. It is also for some others but is not wide-spread at this time.

#3 – I Remembered a great Light coming toward Earth and then wrapping itself around Earth like a swaddling blanket.

#4 – We are Soldiers of Light, Light Warriors, etc. In this memory I Remembered how I personally had prepared for this job.

#5 – More and more of my other aspects are being integrated now. This is why I feel different in the morning, why I felt so utterly changed when I woke up. I saw it was 50% complete. I feel my Braid-in very distinctly and when I woke up I was him more than me.

#6 – I saw a visual of packed bags sitting by the door. I knew this to mean movement was coming for me. We must move, We must unite with our individual Teams. So again I get this message.

There is so much more that I cannot say at this time. Even if I wanted to, it has been erased for the time being. It is so very odd! I don’t feel like myself. I feel strange but it is not a bad strange.

Just pinch me now so I can wake up.

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Message: Groundbreaking Has Begun

Groundbreaking has begun. Initiates gather to mark the beginning of a new era of Hue-manity.

Light Beacons are anchored. New initiates recognize their roles in ever increasing numbers. Memory codes are activated and released. DNA matriculation has been instituted.

The Time is critical. A pinnacle moment has been reached. After-effects are felt and disseminated.

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Message: Let Go of All Attachments

E’Fonin is back along with 9 others – my Team and my Council; The Many.

He never really left, of course.

2:30am

I had a dream in which I was fixing what looked like a dishwasher but then it seemed to turn into a very large window. I refused my husband’s help saying, “I can do this on my own”. I woke up.

I was pleased with myself for standing on my own two feet but there was a resistance to what I have been asked to do. I felt my Team present, but at this time had not singled out E’Fonin. I questioned them about what was happening to me – why did I seem to have so much clarity and resolve about my purpose and then fall back into self-doubt and resistance?

With the question my heart chakra pulled intensely and I could not help but be pulled into it. From this standpoint all doubt and resistance was erased. Immediately. The sensation of the heart had been unnoticeable until this point and then it felt like a metal rod of energy was shoved into the center of it. I couldn’t help but gasp for air from the intensity of it.

Message: Let Go of All Attachments

Once I recognized my question had been answered (remain in the heart) my Team proceeded to speak with me about attachments.

We are being asked to let go of all attachments. This is not limited to relationships but includes all earthly attachment from material possessions to attachments to the physical body.

We must drop them. All of them.

When I questioned why, I was shown how attachment = fear. It arises from fear. Fear of loss. Fear of the unknown. Ego-driven fear.

Attachments have been encouraged and reinforced by society.

I argued for attachment, pointing out that attachment to one’s children ensures the child’s safety and survival.

I was quickly shown this was an illusion. Even the attachment, the bond, between mother and child is riddled with fear, the main one being that the mother will lose the child.

People stay in relationships; cling to family, material possessions, people, situations, physical bodies, because of attachment. Attachment causes much suffering, propels us into moral dilemmas and keeps our vibration low. It fastens us to 3D. It is the foundation of karma.

Love is not attachment, yet here I was being shown how deeply entangled the two concepts have become even in my own mind.

Embody Love

In order to embody love we must forgo attachments. This does not mean we do not love, it means that we love enough to recognize the big picture; to step away and see the path of All which ultimately converges back into One.

I asked if it meant we no longer have relationships, specifically romantic ones. I could not see how not to become attached.

It was explained that we habitually fall into Ego which triggers forgetfulness and incites fear. We think, “I love him/her. I want them to stay with me always”. We forget they are with us always and have always been. Instead, we become concerned that they will leave us. We remember past physical lives, we become clouded and then we resist the potential of a timeline without them. This traps us into the karmic cycle. This perpetuates fear. This is not love. It is illusion. It is attachment.

If we remain in the heart we will find that we have always been and always will be connected to those we love and to all the potential for love that exists. There is no loss of this love. Ever.

I then understood what it is to embody love. It is to fully live from the heart.

hinduism-philosophy-god5D is Here, Right Now

5D is here. It always has been. We just have not been able to access it. We couldn’t see it. Our hearts have been closed. Our minds have been fooled. We have been trapped in illusion. I have been trapped in illusion.

My movement into 5D continues rapidly. I am accessing alternate timelines; “jumping” timelines. My DNA is becoming crystalline. I am shifting fully into the heart. Once there, I will be in 5D all the time. But what is crazy is that 3D will still be there. It is like they are superimposed. I saw the Earth as two; one 5D and one 3D. They are superimposed but most of us live in the one that is 3D. I am shifting to the 5D along with many others. Once we are there we will stay permanently. Yet I see that I will still have access to 3D. I asked, “What will happen to me? Will I disappear?” I was told, “Does it matter?”

No More Astral

Believe it or not, I was/am not overwhelmed by any of this. Somehow the conversation shifted into a discussion about my astral travels. Why have I stopped? Why can’t I project?

I was told the astral realms are connected to 3D. They are an extension of the illusion beyond the physical 3D reality. From there you can manifest much faster but it is still limited to the rules and restrictions of 3D. My travels are beyond the astral now. It is hard to explain because as I was shown it, the astral realms extend past Earth in layers, like an onion. Where I am traveling is beyond these layers and outside of them. Another dimension altogether.

I asked if I was ever going to get to project and was told I could as a means of rest, like a vacation, but the astral no longer serves the purpose it once did for me. My travels are inter-dimensional now, though I do not recall them yet. I am told my physical vessel is undergoing adjustments still and to be patient.

I was shown a Venn diagram. I have seen this previously, in 2003. One side is the human consciousness and the other is the subconscious. These two sides will eventually merge completely, becoming one. I can’t imagine how this will manifest, but this is what 5D looks like.

Acceleration is Imminent

I am told the incidences of heart chakra intensity will continue. This is when I recognized E’Fonin because I felt him “turn on” my heart connection. It was similar to flipping a switch. One minute it was a slow, steady warm energy, the next it was like a lightening bolt trigger that sent my heart into another gear and kept it there. When the switch was turned on, a part of my mind shut off. I separate from my earthly attachments. It is strange and a bit uncomfortable but the heart connection is so intense that I do not resist.

My mind wants to convince me that this heart connection is a trap, a device to “control” me. But when the thought comes my heart overrides it with a knowing that this is different. It is similar to the magnetic pull of a compass to true north. The pull is so intensely strong that it can easily be confused for some kind of possession or manipulation by an outside force. In fact, this consideration has come several times. Maybe I am being possessed by Team Dark? Maybe this intense compulsion is some kind of ET control mechanism they are using to manipulate Earth to their will?

When I think this way I hear, “What does your heart tell you?” And I always laugh at the absurdity of all of it.

This heart connection is going to increase beyond measure. It will be my compass. I will live through my heart. I cannot do anything to stop it, either. My path is set. Talk about Ego-trigger. hehe

 

 

 

 

 

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Energy Surges

Happy 2016 everyone!

I had a busy night last night welcoming in the new year. Although I stayed home and was in bed by 10pm, energetically and spiritually I was a busy woman.

Energy Surges

After I fell to sleep, I recall being bombarded by energy surges to my heart chakra. I knew what was going on while it was occurring, but all that remained was an odd memory of being zapped and talking with someone. I awoke at 10:30 and 12:30pm because of the zaps of energy. Both times that I woke I was extremely thirsty and felt completely exhausted and wiped out, so I didn’t really care to ask what was going on.

4:30 Briefing

I was awakened at 4:30am with tears in my eyes, but I did not know why I was crying. I was also starving and very, very thirsty. As I tried to remember what had happened, I recovered memory of being on board a silver craft of some sort that was hovering mid-air. I recalled very briefly a dream of being inside a silver helicopter, but I knew instantly this was how my human mind was trying to make sense of where I had been. The helicopter opened up from its center and I knew I had transferred from one craft to another. Unfortunately, that is all the memory I retained.

For a brief time I was upset that my memories were being wiped again but with that upset came an intense calm from my heart and a knowing that I was focusing on the wrong thing. An overwhelming amount of calm hit me then and I no longer cared what I had dreamed about. I just knew I would remember what I was meant to, when I was meant to.

Messages

Once fully awake I had a guide I did not initially recognize to my left. I asked who he was and felt he was the one who I call The Dr. This confirmed what I knew had been occurring throughout the night – I had been receiving major healing and adjustment and it seemed the focus was mostly to my heart. I commented, “How much more is there to clear!?” It just seems like the healing to my heart never stops! I was told then, “All wounds heal with time”.

I was then shown an image of the final result the healing and adjustment. I saw golden energy in human form. I was told, “This is you”. Then, I saw a light shoot up through the middle, starting at the feet. As it moved up the energy appeared to grow in size and intensity. When it got to the crown it exploded out in a cascading golden waterfall of energy. I asked what it meant and I was told, “You will continuously be connected to Source”. I asked what that meant and was told, “It is so you can do your work”.

I managed to fall back to sleep and when I woke up an hour later I had memory of something else. I had been talking to The Dr. and he had put both my hands into a cup full of crystals. I could feel the round, smooth cool crystals on my hands. What was interesting is that they were immersed in some kind of gel, a conductor of some sort. How I know this, I am not sure. I asked what had been happening was was told, “It clarifies thought”. I also knew this had been what I was doing on board the silver craft.

What is very cool about all this is that when I woke I knew exactly what I was suppose to do. Not only did I know what I was suppose to do, but I had memories of a review of not only this life but several past lives. The purpose of which was to alert me to a karmic pattern that I could break in this lifetime.

Changes

My Team has also been congratulating me on my progress. This often comes with a question, “Don’t you see how far you’ve come?” or “Do you see how much you’ve changed?” I have been overwhelmed by the intense energy and the holidays so I have not really thought about their questions. However, this morning I am acutely aware of how much I have changed. What I think is the most noticeable is how connected I feel to my purpose and my guidance. I am notorious for flat-out ignoring my intuition. Now it seems my intuition is unavoidable. It seems to almost shout at me and what is bizarre is that I listen and if I don’t listen I am easily swayed. It’s the heart connection. It is like a mind-wiping, beautiful, loving and comforting hug that says, “Remember”. Though my heart is far from being my primary compass, it is quickly shifting in that direction. I am feeling an intense pull to change. It is almost compulsory in intensity and it is coming directly from my heart center. And I know it is only going to intensify.

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The Volunteers

I’ve been reading The Convoluted Universe Book 3 for a while now. I keep bookmarking pages of this book because it resonates with me so much.

Chapter 13: The Volunteers

In this chapter Dolores presents many examples of first timers to Earth and the waves of volunteers who came to Earth to help raise the vibration.

In one section of this chapter she works with a man named James who describes demolecularization as his means of travel.

Then the feeling of movement, and a shocking revelation. “Forward, forward – elsewhere, very, very fast. When it moved, when it …. jumped? It made me feel ….. split apart, like atoms….Like demolecularization, but not in a bad way; just necessary. It is necessary in order to travel. You cannot travel in the physical body. It’s too fast. The body would break. So they demolecularize me till they can put me back together later. It’s contained within the light, within the dome area. Maybe the light holds it or keeps it from going everywhere”.

When I read this I knew this is what had happened to me. I’ve had many incidences where I felt this way. The first time it happened I came back from wherever I had been completely freaked out, shaking and begging for help. I ended up going downstairs and just hugging my husband. It happened several times after that but with less intensity, almost like I started to get use to whatever it was that was happening to me.

When I would come back together from being split apart I would remember everything initially – like I had all the knowledge of the universe. Then, the more solid I became, the less I remembered. It felt like the knowledge was siphoned off. I think this is what terrified me the most.

I know that I, like James, had been traveling. Not only that, but I remember the domed area he talks about, too! I wonder what form I am changing into? I have no memory of what I look like when I go to this area. The next time I go I have to look at myself.

James then talks about what he is doing when he reaches this domed area. He is training. He is learning about Earth through simulations and “life games” which ultimately are the putting on of lives to help him better adapt to life on Earth.

This also feel accurate for me. Sometimes I think my dreams are conscious memories of these life scenarios.

 

Purpose: To Help

Over and over the people who Dolores talks to in her book explain that they are on Earth “to help”. They often describe an overwhelming desire to assist, a “pull” toward Earth or a “calling”, and a nervousness about descending into a body.

I remembered what I was doing prior to coming into this body. I remember preparing to descend into the body. I was nervous and spent quite a bit of time reviewing this life before descending. I felt an intense pull towards Earth as I “fell” down towards it. I was also afraid. The last thing I remember was hearing that my older sister had been born and it was time for me to go.

The 3 Waves of Volunteers

According to Dolores Cannon, there are three waves of volunteers:

First Wave– These people would be in their 40s and early 50s now, finally adjusting to life after going through turbulent early years of feeling they didn’t belong here. A number tried to commit suicide or were treated for depression.

2nd Wave– Presently in their 20s and 30s, these folk had an easier time, and have been called “channels, generators, and antennas,” and project positive energy. Many have chosen not to have children, as this creates karma, and they don’t want to have to return to Earth after this life.

3rd Wave– The New Children are coming into the world with altered DNA, so they can function in a different reality (vibrations are pushing Earth into a new dimension).

I know I am a volunteer, I just don’t know which wave I am. I seem to fit the description of the 1st wave completely but I am not that old. I also fit part of the description of the second wave some, too. Maybe I am a mix of both? I don’t guess it really matters, though.

When I question my Companion, I am reminded that this is not my first attempt to help. My last attempt ended prematurely. This was the life when I died in 1971, the same year my older sister was born. I would have been born in the 1960’s, 1964 I think because I was about 6-7 years old when I died in that life. I was told that my life was suppose to continue but someone I was meant to be with/work with, either opted out or something was changed last minute. In other words, my path and theirs were linked and so when their course changed, so did mine. Unfortunately for me, it was quite upsetting as I was murdered. Ouch!

Karma

I feel like I have karma I am working through, but since reading Dolores’ book, I keep feeling that I am missing something.

Last night when I went to bed I had entered into another mini-panic. What was funny is my mind was going a hundred miles an hour with panic-like thoughts but I didn’t actually feel panic. While in this weird state I felt often a sudden pull into my heart and all would go quiet. On a couple of other times I felt something move seemingly into me from the left. When this happened I would also calm down and the mind would shut off. This was the strangest feeling I have had since the demolecularization feeling. It was like a bubble of energy that had substance to it, almost like a pressure, moved into my head from the left. And with it came a complete disconnection with this life, but only momentarily. This disconnection is why my mind would shut off. It was like I was unplugged from this life, reset or maybe short circuited.

After the last “bubble” hit me, I was aware suddenly that I reflect karma for the people I meet. This means that whatever karma the person needs to work through they work through with me. It’s like I project to them what they need of me to work through whatever it is they need to work through.

In remembering this I knew it was true. My relationship with my ex is certainly one of these. I knew when I married him I was marrying him to help him. I knew it would be temporary. And when I wanted to leave I couldn’t. It was like I was stuck and only when he was ready was I allowed out.

I don’t know if there is a name for people like me, but I can tell you the job sucks. I won’t do it again. I think I got conned into it.

Now does this mean I carry no karma? I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I am still trying to figure it all out. Dolores discusses imprinting of lives quite a bit. She explains there is no way to differentiate between imprinted ones and real ones. Every time I read about imprinted lives I think I have these. But I can’t tell. I would really love to be one of those who is immune to karma but I know I’m not. I have two more lives after this one after all, to sort through what I have left.

 

 

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Message: Be the Hummingbird

I took the advice given by many of you and focused on taking care of myself and this crazy energy last night. First, I ate a big meal. I immediately felt better. Then I took a hot bath with essential oils – 8 drops of lavender and 2 of Roman Chamomile. I also played music, specifically by Rising Appalachia (thank you KLeigh!). I was in one of my high’s before long and didn’t even mind when all three of my children crawled into the bathtub with me and began splashing.

Afterward I began to lose the high and fall into the exhaustion, but I let it happen and did not resist. My Team has been very close and the message I keep getting is to let go and allow. I went ahead and had some wine and watched some T.V. The whole time I had strange energy sensations all over my body and kept receiving high heart hugs from my Companion. Wonderful and calming. I also, for the first time since these energies began wracking my body, I had a rising of desire from the lower chakras. I pushed it down but it made me smile. I think my blockages are clearing.

I slept very, very well.

Dreams

I almost felt normal before , of course, I began to think that everything that happened to me these last 10 days or so was not real, not true, and I could be normal and move on with my life as planned. This thought was immediately interrupted with a knowing that I knew better than that. Then everything flooded back in and my body was covered in another energy hug. I was told, “You will rest tomorrow and we will talk tonight”. I recognized the energies of my Council of 12 and knew we would talk about contracts. Something felt final about it and I asked, “We are finalizing the contract?” I received confirmation but I joked and said, “Nothing is ever ‘final'” and reminded him of my ambivalence. Instead of humor I received a more serious energy from him. That shut me up and I went to sleep.

Teaching Developmentally Delayed Adults

The first vivid dream I recall is actively teaching adults who were most obviously developmentally delayed. We were doing language and vocabulary activities and I soon realized they were all at very different levels. Some were already able to spell while others couldn’t. I remember directing them to use block letters to spell out an answer to a question. It was like they were toddlers in preschool but some of these individuals were older than me!

I woke momentarily and knew this dream was representative of the various levels of consciousness of those on Earth. It was a bit disturbing to think that so many of us are at the spiritual toddler stage!

Be the Hummingbird

I had an entire dream where I was learning to be the hummingbird. This is symbolic of my mission here. I am being asked to fulfill my mission.

Bus Turned Trailer

Another vivid dream was of my husband and family. I was walking down a dirt road in the country. Tall, green trees and lush grass were all around and the dirt was that orange-red color I remember from my childhood days in east Texas. I looked up and saw my husband towing a white trailer behind him. He was not in a car and the trailer was one that should have been hitched to at ruck. I said to him, “Where’s your bus? Is it broken?” He just turned, smiled and waved at me and continued on. I knew he had our children in the trailer, but I kept going in the opposite direction

This dream woke me up with a start. I knew the symbolism right away. The loss of the bus is significant. Being on a bus or some other form of public transportation is representative of one’s family or group dynamic. In this dream the bus was broken and replaced by a trailer. In recognizing this I saw that a message I have been receiving was coming out in my dreams. My husband and family are moving in the opposite direction from me.

spiderweb-2

Messages 

The amount of information coming to me now is extremely high. I have been processing it for some time now. This partly because I am struggling to accept it and partly because I don’t know how to impart it.

Message 1: My mission is to embody the light; to be a beacon of light as well as to ground and anchor the new energies. I am also to activate others and act as a guide. I work with energies in many ways, more than I am aware of in this Earth consciousness.

Message 2: I am being asked to embody the light now. To do this I must drop relationships and connections that do not harmonize with my own frequency. If I am unhappy, depressed, angry, etc then I am not embodying the Light and so not fulfilling my role here. I have to “step up” now. Others are also receiving this message.

Message 3:  When I hit the age of 40 next year things are really going to shift to a higher level of intensity. I have already been warned of this as it will start next summer right before my birthday to prepare me. I am told 40 is a significant age for more than just me. It has to do with spiritual maturity and ability to hold more Light.

Message 4: I was greeted this morning by Eric who is a member of our ground crew. He is living presently in a physical body like me. He showed me a web, like a spider web. In the center the fibers of the web are very close and they get farther apart as it expands. He explained that the web is being extended now. With this explanation I was told that some members of this web are interconnected with me at a very, very deep level. These are the ones in the center. Others a less so and as the web extends outward even less so. Those most connected to me, those with me in the center, are extremely spiritually intense connections.  The others are less intense and more casual relationships. Our strength comes via these connections. The web grows stronger with each connection.

We are building the web now. The center is first and the most important. We will gather on a spiritual level first but eventually in the physical as well. I see large areas of light across the U.S. These epicenters of Light are crucial.

Message 5: I again saw my Companion as non-human in form. Those who read my previous description say he is Arcturian, but I identify him by his energy, not his appearance.

This time I was accepting of his appearance. He is beautiful beyond description! In accepting him, I accepted myself. I looked down at my hand and saw a non-human hand. Three long, thin, blue fingers and one thumb with over sized fingertips. I laughed because I was immediately reminded of a frog. Also with this acceptance I began again to think in terms of We. I have done this before but it had stopped.

We have many names. We take many forms. We are the Many. 

Elohim.

Day of Rest

When I awoke this morning my husband and three children were gone. They are on a camping trip and won’t be back until tomorrow evening most likely.

Day of rest indeed! 🙂

 

 

 

 

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Timelines are Collapsing

The day was going good and I am still maintaining but it is a struggle to do so. The energies have gone wild! Either that or I have.

I had to go grocery shopping. I didn’t want to and had been avoiding it for over a week. When I got there people were everywhere! Inside I felt overwhelmed but sucked it up and just shopped, focusing on my children and trying to get out of there as fast as I could. I was hit hard by someone’s energy while on the bread isle, though, and it made me feel a wave of despair and a thought of, “I can’t do this anymore. I want out”. This was not my thought!

By the time I got to the checkout line I was more stable and calm but I was receiving warnings from within telling me to protect myself. I am wide open right now for some reason!

Timelines are Collapsing

A strange thing that happened on the way to the store. I suddenly remembered a dream I had a very long time ago. I don’t think I blogged then. It was a very real dream, one of those where I woke up with amnesia for a few minutes.

In the dream I was not married to my current husband. I had instead dated someone else and we had a tumultuous relationship. It was one of those relationships where you feel you have to be together but when you are together you make each other go crazy in all ways. I remember the man vividly – what he looked like, his name, where we met, etc. But I have never met this man in my life! When I woke up I could not remember who I was and was completely confused. Instead the dream was my reality and I was frantic.

When I remembered this dream I also thought I had written it down or told someone but I knew this was not the case. I don’t even know for sure if it was a dream. Maybe I just spontaneously remembered a parallel life?

Confused by this and the crazy energy that seems to smash into me whenever I leave my house, I asked for help. I heard,”Timelines are collapsing”. What? What does that mean?

I do not wish this weirdness on anyone. I am managing just fine. I am surprised I have not lost my mind. LOL Somehow I know I can handle this.

My third eye is HUGE right now and my heart feels like a magnet. I sense that my psychic abilities are in overdrive. My sensitivity to others is extremely high right now. This seems like a return to when I first awakened. Such heightened perceptions. Such knowing. And such chaotic energy. Yet I feel like I am going to be okay. I can handle this. This is part of why I am here.

Weird! hahaha